The Ties That Bind
by yesyov
Summary: As a single mum, 40 year old Bella has devoted her life to raising her son and creating a future for herself. As her adult son prepares to strike out for life of his own, a chance meeting, half a world away, will change their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

**The Beginning**

"Oh, God…my head hurts," he thinks upon waking. At least, he thinks he's awake.

Is it possible to be in this much pain and still be asleep? He doesn't think so, which must mean he's awake.

He tries to open his eyes, but his body doesn't want to cooperate. So, he continues to lie there wishing that the throbbing pain residing between his temples would just magically go away. He rubs his eyes with his hands, willing them to open. He takes a deep breath, trying to rouse himself further into the land of the living, and stretches his arms over his head before bringing them slowly back to the covers that blanket his chest.

Slowly blinking his eyes open, he tries to focus on the room around him, but the blinding sunlight peering around the corner of the curtains causes him to shut his eyes quickly. The bright light only succeeds to increase the pain that still lingers annoyingly in his head.

With only a moment's notice, he rushes towards the bathroom where the contents of his stomach empty into the toilet bowl. It seems like hours pass as he sits there hugging the icy porcelain while resting his forehead on his shaky arms and waiting for the nausea to pass. He vaguely becomes aware of the fact that he's completely naked, but further thoughts are driven from his mind as he once again pays homage to the Porcelain God.

Feeling as if there's nothing left inside that could even remotely travel upward, he slowly begins to push himself up off the cold, tiled floor. Using his hands to steady himself on the wall, he leans in and turns on the shower. As he waits for the water to heat up, he briefly wonders where his roommates could be. Stepping into the shower, he realizes that having the room to himself in his current state is an added bonus. He really doesn't need any witnesses to this morning's events.

The hot water streaming from the shower head helps sooth his tired body. His mind begins to wander over last night's events. He remembers playing at the dance club and finishing the set with his band. A group of girls joined them for drinks afterwards, and he remembers chatting with a few of them while downing a few beers before progressing onto shots…shots of tequila, he thinks.

After that, his recollections become decidedly blurry.

Knowing that his roommates will probably return sooner rather than later, he reluctantly turns off the shower and reaches for the closest towel. He dries himself off rather quickly and then wipes the steam off of the bathroom mirror. The reflection that greets him is difficult to recognize. Whatever happened last night has done nothing to enhance his looks. He literally looks like a dog's breakfast.

He pops his head out of the bedroom door and glances around the room_. Still no roommates_, noting to himself as he steps out into the room.

_Ump,_ he thinks. Maybe they did get lucky last night. That would explain why they aren't here.

Without bothering to wrap himself in a towel, he saunters over to his bed and looks around for his jeans. No luck; they aren't there. He moves around the room and finally finds them on the floor next to his shoes by the small kitchenette. He pulls them on, not caring about underwear, and reminds himself that he really needs to do some laundry.

He also needs painkillers. His head is still throbbing badly. Painkillers first; laundry can wait.

He idles back over to the bathroom and begins to forage through the contents splayed across the bathroom vanity looking for a packet of painkillers. Locating some, he grabs three and tosses them down with a glass of water.

Coffee. Coffee was next on the list.

Taking a deep breath in order to focus his mind on the task at hand, he moves back out to the kitchenette, fills the kettle with water, and puts it on to boil. Looking over the counter laden with unwashed cups, glasses and plates, he finds a relatively clean coffee mug. He grimaces as he washes out the mug under running water the smell of the soiled and dirty dishes and cups turning his stomach. He tears open sachets of instant coffee and two sugars. After the water comes to a boil, he fills his mug and gives it a cursory stir. No milk today; strong and black is what he needs.

As he throws the teaspoon back into the sink filled with yet more dirty dishes, he notices a folded piece of paper leaning up against the phone on the bench. Picking it up absentmindedly, he heads to the small round table near the kitchenette, coffee in hand. He sits down and takes a long swig of coffee, wincing as the bitterness reaches his tastebuds. Dropping the note on the table and placing his coffee next to it, he rubs his temples with his finger tips, wondering how long it will take before the painkillers kick in. Surely those little nasty people in his head would have to stop their jack hammering soon.

He reaches for the coffee mug with both hands, grasping it almost as if in prayer, and takes another long swig of the hot brew. He closes his eyes and wills time to pass more quickly.

With a long sigh, he opens his eyes and looks again at the note on the table in front of him. He picks it up to read it, thinking how odd it would be if his roommates had left him a note explaining their absence, Seeing as he has no idea how long he'd actually been asleep, it could be a possibility.

The note is brief and obviously hastily written, but the handwriting is unfamiliar. He's taken aback as he reads it again. It makes no sense to him, and he wonders for a moment if the note is really meant for him. Flipping it closed, he sees his name clearly written on the front. Opening it yet again, he reads the note for a third time.

"What the hell?" he mumbles aloud.

Confusion deepens as he thinks back over the events of the night before. The gig. Drinks at the bar afterwards. Girls. There are always girls. Most of them are up for a bit of flirting, while some are often looking for a bit more. It's the 'bit more' girls he usually leaves for his band mates; groupies just aren't his thing. His previous relationship had lasted two and a half years, and though he's single now, a revolving door of groupies just isn't his style.

Focusing on the task at hand, his memories from last night are still vague to say the least. He struggles to recall more details – tequila shots, moving outside for a smoke, a few more beers. Dope? Did he really smoke dope last night? Rubbing his hands over his jaw, he wracks his brain. It would at least go a long way to explain why his mouth felt like chickens had come to roost in it for the night.

Taking another sip of coffee before setting the mug down, he flips the note back onto the table and gets up, pushing his chair back until it hits the wall behind him, to make his way towards the bathroom to brush his teeth. Standing in front of the mirror and looking at his reflection for the second time that morning, he still doesn't recognize the stranger with the tired eyes staring back at him.

Rinsing his mouth and gargling for good measure, he places both his hands on the vanity, leans forward and stares at the man looking back at him. He drops his head and rocks back and forth, finding it disturbing that he can recall so little from the night before. The dope bothers him. Sure, he smokes. It's part of the scene around the band; it's inevitable really. He knows he will stop one day, but right now, at his age, smoking doesn't bother him. Dope does though. He's only done dope a couple of times, and while he enjoys the high, it's the after effects he hates.

He smiles to himself as he realizes that he really must have done dope last night; his current state is a testimony to his memories. _Yep. Same after effects. Stupid. Just stupid. _

Taking another look, he lectures to the man in the mirror. "You might be able to hold your liquor, dude, but alcohol and dope are not a good combination for you. Remember that next time."

Pushing back off the sink, he strolls out of the bathroom and over to the bed. He flops back onto it lost in thought and still shirtless. He throws one hand over his eyes while rubbing his fingers up and down the dark wiry hair along his midline.

The pool. He remembers moving out to sit in chairs by the pool at the resort. The girls were still there; his band mates, too, at that stage. There was a girl – petite, long hair, sitting on his lap, laughing.

His thoughts are just images, flashes really. Still pictures, like photos moving quickly through his vision. Everything seems so disjointed and hazy.

He closes his eyes and hopes that everything will start to make a little more sense. Instead, all the images just disappear. Gone.

Lying there on his bed, he starts to get more and more frustrated with his lack of coherent thoughts. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and gets up in one fluid movement, realizing just a little too late that such a thing is not a good idea in his current state. Reaching out to steady himself on the bedside table, he rolls his eyes and again tries to focus on making slow, steady motions that his brain can keep up with.

He decides that collecting his laundry is a simple, practical task he can manage for the moment, so he begins to move around the room slowly picking up pieces of discarded clothing.

He smirks as he looks around. Three single men living in confined quarters for a couple of months during the summer definitely doesn't do anything to help promote tidy housekeeping. Every piece of furniture, from the beds and chairs to the small loveseat in the corner, is covered with laundry – some of it clean, some of it not. Knowing the difference is difficult to tell. He goes back to the bed to throw back the covers looking for socks or underwear that could be lost in the bottom of the bedsheets. What he sees stops him in his tracks.

"What the…?" he says aloud to himself.

Blood. Blood stains on his bedsheets.

Had he hurt himself last night? Did he fall in his doped up and drunken state? He thinks back to his shower this morning and looks at his elbows before rubbing his hands over this chest and abs. Nothing. No cuts; no abrasions. He runs his hands through his hair and over the back of his neck. Again, nothing.

He blinks hard and frowns. Well, that's a mystery.

Still lost in thought, he jumps as the door to his room bangs open and his two roommates stumble in.

"Dude!" they chorused. "So how was it bro?"

"How was what?" he answers them as he throws the covers back on his bed.

"Oh man, come on. The girl. How was she? The sexy little brunette with the cute little ass. Did you score?"

Turning his back to his friends, he continues to pick up pieces of laundry from the furniture around him. A girl? He needs time to think. He doesn't know what the hell they are talking about. He runs a hand through his hair again, confusion evident in his voice as he eventually replies, "Brunette?"

"Oh, gawd man, can't you remember? Really cute, about this high," one of them says, raising a hand about shoulder height. "Nice little swagger," he continues as he moves to the bathroom.

Looking at them, he just shakes his head. "Nope; no idea what you're talking about."

Picking up a t-shirt and tossing it over his head, and then searching for the laundry bag, he starts to pack it full of washing. His roomies look at him questioningly, watching him seemingly engrossed in his mundane task.

Reaching down to put on a pair of slip on shoes, he pushes past his two roomies and leaves them looking dumbfounded as he heads for the door.

"Oh, we get it," said the shorter one, nudging his mate and giving him a wink, "you're too much of a gentleman to kiss and tell." They both laugh.

He stops with one hand on the door knob and just shakes his head before heading out and closing the door behind him. Once outside, he moves off down the corridor.

Deep in thought, he smiles weakly at a fellow lodger as he makes his way to the laundry room. He is not in the mood for idle conversation this morning. His roommates are under the impression he came back to their room with a girl, but which girl? Keeping his head down, he turned the corner, each step taking him closer to the laundry and away from his friends.

Last night's events are really starting to bother him. Specifically, not remembering details about last night's activities after the gig is making him feel decidedly uneasy.

He doesn't get blind drunk that often. He is usually the one who makes sure that his drunk-assed roommates get home unscathed after a night's drinking. It sure as hell doesn't sound like the favor was returned last night. He came back to his room; they didn't. Was he alone? His mates didn't seem to think so.

This is just all too confusing. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he recognizes that he missed the door to the laundry room. Doubling back, he reaches out to turn the handle to let himself in when he's bombarded with mental images.

Flashes from the last twelve or so hours parade across his thoughts. Long, brown hair. The smell of strawberries. Smooth bare shoulders. Wispy hair at the base of her neck. Kissing her. Up against a door; the door to his room. Their sounds. Her kisses. Her taste, a mixture of alcohol and cigarettes.

Leaning his head against the laundry door, his hand still on the handle, his mind continues to throw images in front of his closed eyes. Her skin, soft like silk. Stumbling blindly into the room. Swearing as his arms get caught in his shirt sleeves as she tries to pull them off his shoulders.

"Oh, my god."

He did take a girl back to his room last night. He remembers her there in his arms. The heat of her body. The sounds they were making. These images rush fast and furiously through his mind.

"Oh, my god."

He exhales slowly and opens his eyes. He is still leaning up against the laundry door, his head resting wearily against it. Last night. Last night was…..

"Fuck!" he says a little too loudly. "Fuck!"

Without a moments hesitation, he pushes off the door and begins to walk briskly back towards his room, the laundry all but forgotten.

"Please don't let them find it…please don't let them find it," he whispers to himself over and over again as he makes his was back to his room.

Without hesitating or even thinking about what he might find inside, he pushes open the door to his room and barrels in. His two roommates are flaked out on their beds, obviously trying to catch up on lost sleep.

They both swear at the unexpected interruption, but he doesn't care.

"What the fuck is your problem man? Make enough noise why don't ya?"

"Sorry," he mumbles as he drops the laundry bag unceremoniously on his bed.

"I thought you'd headed off to do your washing?" one of them said as he grumbled some more and rolled over away from the source of the noise.

"Busy," he replies briefly. His mind is on other things.

"Well, piss off or shut the fuck up."

"Yeah. Going. I forgot something."

"Well, find it and get out. You used up your hours last night. The room's ours for a while. Go piss off."

Finding what he's looking for, he stuffs it in his back pocket and leaves the room, slamming the door for good measure. They'll get over it.

Walking out of the building and into the bright sunshine, he immediately regrets not having the presence of mind to grab his sunglasses before bolting out of the room.

He realizes, thankfully, that the painkillers must have started to kick in because the bright sunlight, while making him squint, doesn't seem to increase his headache. In fact, he realizes that it isn't bothering him much at all now. He suspects there's just too much else going on in there for it to dominate any more.

Lengthening out his stride, he walks away from the main resort area and onto one of the pathways that leads around the resort. Instead of heading into the center of the resort towards the pool and bars, he turns and heads in the opposite direction without thinking of his destination. He just wants to get away to clear his head. Going from not being able to remember much at all about the night before to a constant barrage of disjointed images and recollections for the last twenty minutes was literally making his head spin, and it had nothing to do with the after effects of the joints he'd smoked or the alcohol he'd consumed.

Breathing deeply, he continues to make his way out of the main resort area. Having been here for a month already, he has discovered a couple of little known quiet spots that he uses to escape from people and noise from time to time. It is to one of these spots that he's hoping to get to now. Some place quiet. He needs time alone with his thoughts. Time to work through everything he is remembering and feeling.

Ten minutes later, he arrives at a small rocky outcrop on the beach. He looks around and breathes a sigh of relief. It's deserted. There's no one around to encroach on his space. Walking out towards the rocks, he pulls off his t-shirt and tucks it into the back of his jeans. The warmth of the sun relaxes the muscles in his shoulders and neck that he doesn't even realize are tense.

He finds a comfortable place to sit and stares out across the turquoise waters as the sounds of the waves and smell of the salty air wash over him. He closes his eyes and lifts his face towards the sun and breathes.

Time stands still as he begins to reflect on everything that has happened in the last fourteen hours or so. His thoughts are clearer now; his memories more vivid.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he hangs his head and focuses on the shapes and shadows of the rock beneath him. He stays this way for a long time – thinking, reflecting. Taking time for his thoughts is something he hasn't done for what seems like the longest time. It's as if all the events of his life from the last few years have culminated in this moment in time right here, right now.

He stares off into the horizon again and feels the weight of that note settle on him.

He doesn't need to read it again. After reading it three times, he knows what it says. He knows it by heart. It's as clear to him as if he was holding it in his hands this very second, instead if it being buried in his back pocket.

What it says reaches his mind and his soul more than anything else he has ever read before. How could that be? How could something so brief, so hastily scribbled on a scrappy bit of paper, be so earth shattering?

He knows this is it for him. He knows there is no escaping the message that's hidden within those words.

Who he is…who he wants to be…who he will become…is going to be decided right here, right now, on these rocks, at this beach.

And to think, he can't even remember her name or see her face.

* * *

**A/N: **This story came to me a while ago, and I have been thinking it through, and planning, and freaking out over it and so on and so on and so on etc etc etc.

Special thanks (hugs and winks) to Sandy for walking me through all of what has happened to get me to this point (and hopefully beyond), to Lalina whose wise words of wisdom have made me feel like it's OK just to have a go, and to Whynot for being one wonderful woman and to Grendel...a goddess.

*Special waves to all the girls on RL, TSL and C&D.


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome back people!**

A couple of things before we get started:

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight… you know the drill…. But Dan is MINE

Sorry, about the faulty posting last night (my time) – I had posted it then realized I had left something important, so had to pull it to fix it up – apologies chickas!!!

To Sunfeathers. She is my "on the ground" contact in the US, helping me with all things from geography to transport to paperwork to school systems… no question I ask is ever too much trouble for her… thank you for working on this with me….and no girls… she has no more idea about the direction for this storyline that you do… and she does it anyway…god bless her

To Sandy and Grendel – my betas who have worked with me on this chapter - thanks

I wrote Chapter 1 – The Beginning, in present tense. The rest of this story will not follow that pattern. This was a deliberate decision on my part, because I wanted you to feel that you were living "that moment" in this story. I didn't want to write a flashback scene later on. I wanted that chapter to stand alone, and give you all an integral part of the story first hand. I didn't want to call it an prologue…. But maybe I should have? I am new at this.

Our story now picks up, many years later. To distinguish between the two time frames, and events, I wanted to write them in two different tenses. Experienced writers will probably cringe at what I have done, but, anyway, it's a done deal now…. So here goes…

**Chapter 2 – Bella and Dan**

Bella's phone rang from somewhere deep inside her handbag. She cursed to herself as she juggled her hot drink in one hand while she fumbled around inside her bag with the other. Her bag was full of the bits and pieces of her life: old receipts, her wallet, tissues, loose change, keys, a few lipsticks, hair brush, a memo, her diary. It seemed that she was able to put her hand on everything except the damn phone. Of course, it stopped ringing before she could find it.

Bella knew that he was most probably running late. It was just a matter of by how much. She walked over to a nearby ledge in the shopping centre, put down her mocha, and then began to rummage through her bag in earnest, muttering a yet another soft curse under her breath. She heard the phone beep, indicating that she had a message. Why did most handbags come with dark interiors? It made it impossible for women to find what they wanted in a hurry. Bella smiled to herself. Obviously a woman was never consulted in that design process.

She finally found her phone in the internal zipper section of her bag and pulled it out, and then proceeded to replace her bag's varied contents. She now remembered putting it there to make it easier to find. Yeah! That so did not work!

She dialed the missed call service number and listened to the message. Sure enough, it was as she suspected. He had missed the bus from college because he got held up in the library. He was going to be at least another hour.

Timeliness had never been one of his strengths. She stood and sipped her mocha, wondering how she was going to pass the time until he arrived. Spotting a nearby island café, she decided on an early dinner and went inside. She ordered her usual bagel, along with yet another mocha and selected a table that gave her a view of the mall traffic.

Everyone seemed to be out in force no doubt lured to the stores by the sales that were now on. Dan needed a suit. He was going to graduate in three months and join the workforce which had led to a discussion about the need for more appropriate clothes. Dan was quite insistent that Bella come along to provide motherly advice, although she knew next to nothing about suits.

The last time she had bought a suit had been for her father to wear at his funeral. The memory made Bella feel a little melancholy. That had been 5 years ago and Dan had only been 15 at the time. It had been a real rough patch for all of them, particularly Bella's mother, and Dan had been at the age where he had really needed a strong male role model in his life.

The loss of Charlie under such tragic circumstances, without any warning, had hit them all hard. Bella's mother, Renee, had followed him barely six months later. Her passing had not been entirely unexpected, as she had pined for Charlie dreadfully once he had gone. Bella still thought of her parents regularly and missed them both dearly, particularly when it came to milestone events in Dan's life.

Bella emerged from her reverie as the waitress arrived with her order and she smiled her thanks as the plate and cup were set down in front of her.

_Okay, enough now _she thought giving herself a mental shake and returned to the present.

"Miss Swan!"

Bella turned towards the sound and saw a nine year-old child running towards her.

"Hey, Sophie. How are you?" she smiled as the child ran up to her chair before turning and smiling proudly at her mother who was still approaching.

"Hi Bella, how are you today? Are you here for the sales?"

"Hi, Carole, and yes I am. I'm just killing time waiting for my son to get here." Bella turned back to the child, "and how about you Miss, are you feeling better today?"

"Yes," said the child, looking abashed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry about that, Bella. When the school rang to tell me that Sophie had been sick, I was stuck at work. I got there as soon as I could but it seems the damage had been done by then. She's over it now though. It looks like she has thrown off whatever it was."

"More like thrown up," Bella replied with a grimace.

Cringing, Sophie's mother replied, "I'm seriously sorry about that. I had no idea she was coming down with something. I really don't know how you teachers do it day after day."

"Well I guess you could say it has its ups and downs, literally in this one's case," Bella replied, chucking Sophie gently under the chin.

The sentiment was true enough. Bella had been teaching for fifteen years now and some days seemed easier than others. Still, it on the whole, she still got a thrill out teaching. Seeing a child understand something for the first time and having an "ah-ha" moment was what made teaching a rewarding experience for her.

"Well, we won't hold you up. Enjoy your night."

"Thanks, you have a nice one too," Bella said waving at the child as she moved off with her mother before Bella returned to her mocha.

She smiled as she watched them leave, the child chatting to her mother about her "up-chuck" moment at school. It never ceased to amaze Bella how children reveled in the less savory aspects of the human body. Poop jokes seemed to be the current favourite among the boys. She remembered Dan rolling on the floor laughing at poop jokes. It seemed like only yesterday and now, suddenly, he was about to turn 21. Where had the time gone?

After paying for her meal, Bella began to meander through the mall. She stopped in at a few boutiques, and sighed regretfully over some of the prices. Money wasn't tight, but it wasn't a case of 'money's no object' either. Years of being a single mother had indelibly stamped Bella with practicality, so she always found it difficult to splurge on herself.

Perhaps Dan leaving home would change the situation somewhat.

Bella stopped and inspected some lingerie, her eyebrow raised as she looked at some of the racier items. She lifted her head and looked at the other women in the store. They all looked suburban and mundane. _Come to think of it_, she decided after a moment's thought, _they probably look like me_. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop from giggling at the thought of one of the cuddlier looking women browsing in the store, going home and strapping herself into a corset and crotchless panties. Shoulders shaking slightly, she left the store wiping her eyes as she puffed out a quiet laugh.

She stopped at the window of the store and gazed at the mannequin, sighing at the artful display. The lace concoctions, designed to tempt and enhance, were certainly doing their job. Bella thought about her practical cotton offerings and sighed again, but then another smile lit up her face and gave a special sparkle to her eyes. She wondered what would happen if, when Dan next had to hang out a load of washing, he was to hang up a pair of the lacy numbers the mannequin was wearing. She laughed out loud at that thought– he'd have a fit. It was already a tough enough job to get him to help out with the laundry in the first place. That, would just do him in for good.

Bella was so lost in thought that she failed to see the dark haired man sneak up behind her. She was giggling to herself when the words he whispered in her ear made her jump.

"Penny for your thoughts, sweetheart," he said.

Turning abruptly she banged right into the man who had been leaning over her left shoulder, causing him to pull back sharply, but not quickly enough. Bella had, in her surprise, knocked him in the nose with the back of her head.

"What? Oh my God. Mike. I am so sorry. You completely startled me. Are you alright?" she blurted out in rapid succession, putting her hands on his shoulders and trying to look him in the eye.

Mike put his hand to his face and bowed his head in obvious pain.

"Good god, Bella, jumpy much?"

"Oh, Mike. Are you OK?"

"Well love," he said, straightening and rubbing his nose simultaneously, "if I get a black eye from this, it will make a wonderful story to share at work, let me tell you."

"Oh Mike, don't you dare. It was you after all sneaking up on a lady looking at a lingerie display window."

"Yeah, well. I can always admire the view. There was a lot to look at."

"Now you listen to me, Mike Newton, your wife will have your guts for garters if I tell her my version of events," warned Bella, waggling her finger at him.

"OK. Duly noted," replied Mike. "But can't I at least sauce it up for the guys at work?"

"Doesn't your wife work at your store?" came Bella's retort.

"Damn. Oh well, this will just have to stay stored in my little happy place, won't it B?"

"I have told you a million times, M, my name is already shortened to Bella, and that's enough for my liking."

"OK gorgeous. Now tell me, why is it I find a girl like you, looking in a window like this? Any special reason?"

"You mean, aside from my perpetually late son, running late again? Nope. Da nada. No other reason."

"Oh, Bells," Mike replied, Bella rolling her eyes at yet another abbreviation of her name, "I thought some lucky guy might be getting lucky, if you know what I mean?"

"When have I had the time to 'get lucky' recently?"

"Well, if you had of just pursued Jeff a little more vigorously, you never know what might have happened."

"Firstly, let me remind you that you and your darling wife set me up with said Jeff. Secondly, let me remind you that said Jeff was a little too 'over eager' for me,"

"But…" interrupted Mike.

"And thirdly," continued Bella as if Mike hadn't uttered a sound, "said Jeff was 10 years _younger_ than me. What do you think I am? Some sort of cougar?"

"Well, to be fair, he looked a lot older than that…" Mike lamented, "and besides, you know what they say about younger guys. He's in his prime, you're in your prime… and all that…"

"Not, another word, Mike. Not another word," Bella warned him with her 'teacher face'.

"Yes, Ma'am," Mike winked, lowering his head and looking decidedly abashed.

"Does that mean you're not coming to dinner Friday night?"

"I'll be there, as long as you two aren't trying to fix me up with someone else."

"O…K…" came Mike's measured reply.

"Mike, not again. Can't you and Jess just realize that I'm OK with being single? Really?"

Mike raised both hands in surrender. "Don't look at me babe. It's the Missus that you have to set straight on that point. I bowed out after the Jeff debacle."

"Mmph," said Bella, looking at Mike sideways, "so tell me dearest Mike, why are you sneaking up on women at the lingerie shop?"

"Not women. Just one woman," he defended.

"That still doesn't answer my question," she reminded him.

"Well, to tell you the truth, it is Jess and my 10th Wedding anniversary next Tuesday, and I was going to looking for something… interesting… to get for her. Say you wouldn't mind…?"

"Oh not on your life buster," Bella replied before he could even finish his sentence. "There is just no way I'm going to help you pick out some sexy lingerie for you to give your wife. You are in this one on your own buddy boy!"

"Well, it was worth a shot. Where is that elongated son of yours anyway, Bells?"

Bella gave him a quick slap on the shoulder for the abbreviation before she continued. "He's missed the bus from college. Actually, he'd be due here soon," she noted, glancing at her watch. "I'm waiting for him to call."

"Well, I'd better not let him catch me here with you then. In fact, a lingerie shop and a 21 year-old male is probably not a good combination for any mother to deal with. Actually," he said frowning, "for either of you, come to think of it."

"Get out of here Mike. Be off with you. I'll see you Friday," she replied, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck with the shopping," she added with a wink as she began to walk away.

"Yeah, well luck will be needed now without your help," he said. "Hey, Bel - la?"

"Y-e-s, Mike?"

"You wouldn't happen to know what size?" Mike asked, raising both of his hands in the air and giving each a little squeeze-like motion.

"Oh you are soooo in strife," Bella retorted, "I think you'd do better with wine and roses!" she laughed as she walked away shaking her head. "See you Friday, Mike."

Bella strolled up the mall, smiling to herself and thinking back over her chance meeting with Mike. He was a good guy, and he and his wife, Jess, were amongst the first friends Bella had made when she moved to New Hampshire nearly four years ago.

Dan had just graduated from High School and had won a part-scholarship to Dartmouth. It was a big deal and a big move for the two of them. They had packed up their belongings and moved across the country from where they used to live in Forks, Washington.

Initially, Bella had believed that Dan would have wanted to spread his wings and fly solo when he went off to college and she was partially right. He did want to live on campus and experience the whole College life thing, but when it all boiled down to it, he was anxious about being so far away from Bella. Dan really worried about her being alone in the house if he moved on and he felt very protective of her.

When he had applied for colleges, Bella and Dan had talked for hours about his options and his selections. Bella had very much wanted this decision to be Dan's. It was time for him to broaden his horizons. She recognized in her son, the need for him to experience the kaleidoscope of opportunities life had to offer. She wanted for him, everything that had seemed to become so unattainable for her at the same age, so Bella had encouraged Dan to consider every opportunity and leave no stone unturned.

When he had won the part-scholarship to Dartmouth, Bella had been very happy and proud of him. This was soon followed by a sense of uncertainty for herself, which she swallowed almost as quickly as it had flared. There was no way she was willing to allow her own self-doubt to take away from Dan's achievements, but then what he had said to her took her completely by surprise. It obviously was something he'd been thinking about for some time.

"Mom, I want you to come to New Hampshire with me."

"What? No, honey. I don't need to follow you off to college. This is your chance to break free. Experience life. Live the college dream. You don't want to be doing that with you crotchety old mother hanging on to your shirt tails."

"Mom. I want you to come with me. Forks has always been your home but things have changed. You've changed. There is so much more out there in life for you. It's time for you to move on, Mom. Come with me. Move. Find a new school to work at. Chase your dreams. You've earned the right, after so long, to live your dream too."

His motivations had taken her by surprise. They had caused her to actually reflect on her life and what she wanted for her future. For so long, she had been focused on getting to this point. On getting Dan through High School, and on to college, that she had, along the line, stopped thinking about her dreams, her goals. Life for her had become focused entirely on the hopes and dreams she wanted her son to chase. She lost her own dreams in the process.

After much soul searching and discussion, she had agreed to move with Dan across the country, with one condition – he couldn't live with her. She was adamant that he needed to set out on his own, but he was just as insistent that he wouldn't go unless she opened up her own future to new possibilities as well. The compromise they struck would be that she would move, and Dan would live on campus.

The deal being done, Bella and Dan began to work together towards their new goal. Dan didn't go away for a traditional end of High School vacation. Instead he stayed home with Bella and helped her pack up her life insofar as she had always known it. The house in Forks was put on the market and it had sold quickly which surprised the both of them. Apparently, there had been a number of local residents who had had their eyes on Renee and Charlie's place for years, and when it came up for sale, even the real estate agent had been taken aback by the local interest.

It still surprised Bella how quickly things had fallen into place after that. Bella had found a job teaching at a local school, not too far from where she thought she would want to live. The internet made things so much easier these days. When trying to look for a house and she had used the money from the sale to buy a small two bedroom place in Lebanon, New Hampshire. It was close enough to Dartmouth that it wouldn't be too difficult for Dan to come home whenever he wanted, but far enough away that his mother wouldn't be living on his door step. This had made them both happy.

It was when she first started working at her new school that Bella had met Mike and Jessica Newton. They were parents of a child at her school and she had begun to run into them at the shops and around the local area from time to time. Mike was an openly friendly guy with a personality to match and she had found that she hit it off with Jessica straight away. When they had first invited her over for dinner, Bella was a little cautious about mixing socially with parents outside of the work place, but she found that she really welcomed the casual interactions with Mike and Jessica, who had in turn, introduced her to a number of their friends – singles and well as couples. Over the years, Bella had come to count Mike and Jessica amongst her closest friends.

For the second time that afternoon, Bella's phone rang from deep inside her handbag. She found it easily this time, having made an effort before to put it finally back into the phone pouch where it belonged.

"Hi love," she said as she answered it. "Where are you?"

"Hi, Mom. I've just got off the bus. Can I meet you at the eatery? I haven't had the chance to grab anything yet."

"Yeah, OK. I should have expected that one, shouldn't I? I'll meet you there in five."

"OK, Mom. Bye."

Bella turned around and headed off to meet her son. She really shouldn't have bothered to eat earlier. She should have known the first thing Dan would want to do was to get food. He ate like a horse, and he never seemed to get his fill. At 6' 2" Dan stood literally head and shoulders above Bella. She had lost her height advantage for discipline when he was fourteen. There seemed to be a period of time when he would just grow inches in his sleep and she had long since given up trying to monitor his growth. For years, every birthday she diligently marked his height on the doorframe in the dining room at their house back in Forks. Occasionally during a growth spurt, she would make him stand up against the door frame more regularly, trying to record his height. When the gaps between markings started to exceed an inch in just over a month, she gave up. She knew he was growing – his appetite and his trouser legs kept her informed almost daily. His height wasn't the only thing that had grown beyond expectations – his hands and feet were huge. It was a pity that he had never really been all that keen on competitive swimming while he was at school because he seemed to have come with an inbuilt pair of flippers.

As she made her way through the eatery, she noticed him standing in front of the taco stand. Mexican had always been one of his favourites.

Bella was very proud of her son. He had worked hard in college, maintained his grades and honoured his scholarship conditions all whilst working at a local music store in his limited free time to give himself an income. He also played the guitar, which he taught himself to do, and he would often relax by mucking around and jamming with his dorm mates at college.

Bella walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Dan turned to her and leaned down to give her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Hi, Mom," he said with a warm smile, "the queue was pretty small so I thought I'd just jump on it. Do you want anything?"

"No thanks, love. I've already eaten."

"Oh, you have? Sorry. I won't take too long."

"It's fine, don't worry. Your stomach has been a top priority for a long time. I'm used to it. I'll go find us a seat."

"Well when you do, don't sit down short stuff or I'll never see you under the table," he shot back at her with a wink and a wicked grin on his face, nudging her on the shoulder as she went to move off.

"Ha, ha, ha," Bella retorted walking away, wondering why on earth it was ever necessary to educate a child in the first place, when it served only to sharpen a wit that would eventually come back to bite you on the bum.

She found a table in the middle of the crowded eatery and waved to get Dan's attention, before sitting herself down, poking out her tongue at him as she did so. She enjoyed their banter. It was something that she often thought was a real indicator of just how comfortable they were in their relationship. They were mother and son, but they were friends too. It hadn't been an easy ride for them through his teenage years, but Bella had taken solace from friends who were experiencing similar trials and tribulations with teenagers. She had been adamant that no matter what happened, she would always be there for him: 5am, 10pm, midnight, whenever, and that she would always keep communication lines open, even when monosyllabic answers were all she could get in return for her efforts.

It was made even harder by Charlie's death – Charlie was Dan's significant male – his primary male role model. They had a deep, if relatively silent, relationship. Neither man was big on words, but their actions would convey the depth of their love and respect for each other. Dan especially treasured his alone time with his grandfather, invariably spent fishing out on the lakes around Forks.

_Give a boy time, an activity, and the space for quiet reflection and you give him the chance to understand life and learn what it means to be a man._ That had been one of Charlie's long held beliefs. His was a philosophical old bugger at times. Bella smiled to herself as she thought of yet another saying that Charlie had hanging on a plaque by the front door of the old house in Forks_. Here in lives a fisherman, alongside his wife, the best catch of his life._

Dan sauntered over to the table where Bella was seated, arms filled with three burritos and a Pepsi, his college satchel slung casually over his shoulder.

"Will that fill the hole you think?"

"Don't know. But it's a start. Sure you don't want some Mom?"

Bella looked at the greasy combination with just a hint of salad. No thanks, love, I'll pass. That lot would certainly go straight from my lips to settle on my hips."

"Mom, you look fine."

"And if I ate stuff like that," she said, pointing to the concoction on his plate, "you would be making comments about me needing two chairs instead of one. I'm fine. Really."

"OK," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders, "suit yourself," and with that, he took a large bite of the first burrito.

"So, I've had a chance to window shop while I've been here, you know, because I had time to kill," Bella started, as Dan looked up over the top of his burrito and rolled his eyes in response, "and I saw quite a few sales on around the place, so we should be able to get you a good bargain on that suit you're wanting to get."

"Yeah, about that," Dan hedged, "well I've been kind-a thinking that I might put off buying a suit for the time being."

"Really? How come? I thought you wanted to get one for graduation that you could then wear to work."

"Yeah… well I've been thinking that I might not want to get a job straight away after college."

"Really?" Bella said again, her voice rising a touch higher this time. "And tell me, why's that?"

"Well…" Dan hedged again, "I've been thinking I would like to do some travelling before I settle down into the day to day life of full time work."

"OK, and how long has the travel bug been biting you?"

"Honestly? A couple of months," he said, taking another bite.

"Mmm… and how would you intend to fund said travel?"

"I've got $5000 saved from my job, and if you were OK with it, I would like to take some money from what Nan and Pop left me."

"Where would you want to go?"

"Australia."

"Australia?" Bella said, just a little too loudly.

Dan shrugged in response to the question Bella asked. "You know Dean, the Aussie guy who's been studying in the student exchange program at college. He comes from Sydney, which would give us a place to stay at and travel from for a while."

"Us?"

"Yeah. Me and Chris have been talking it through."

"Chris and I," replied Bella automatically. "Chris and I have been talking it through," she said for emphasis slipping automatically into teacher mode as her brain attempted to keep up with the conversation that was unfolding around her.

"Chris and I", Dan responded, also automatically, which came from years of living with a mother who is also teacher.

"It's all a bit sudden, isn't it? This travel bug thing?"

"Maybe for you, Mom, but I've been thinking about it for a while."

"It might have been nice if you had shared these thoughts with me just a little earlier then."

Dan looked at his mom across the table, and shrugged his shoulders again, albeit a little apologetically. He took yet another huge bite from his dinner.

Bella sat back in her chair. If she could only encapsulate all the phrases, words, and in fact, whole entire sentences that can be summarized by a boy, simply shrugging his shoulders, she would be able to write an epic chapter for a book entitled, "Understanding the Body Language of Teenage Boys – a survival guide for parents." The problem here was that Dan was no longer a teenager.

"Care to put that into words for me?"

Dan wiped his mouth on a napkin, and put his elbows on the table. He rested his chiseled jaw in his hands and looked at his mother from across the table.

"Don't be upset, Mom," he started. "I really feel like I just want to get out, go explore a bit. See the world. Try something different."

"Work would be something different."

"That's not what I mean."

"I'm starting to get that. Why now, Dan? Why not in a couple of years, once you have some real life work experiences under your belt? You could save then, and not have to touch your inheritance from your grandparents."

"I am finding it hard to put this in a way that you'd understand, Mom, but this is something I really want to do now, before I get tied down and committed to a job as such. Just go, not plan anything too much; go with the flow so to speak."

"And where would this flow take you after Australia?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I couldn't do it indefinitely. I don't have that kind of money. But I'd really like to give it a try."

"You and Chris."

"Me and Chris." This time, Bella didn't bother to correct him.

They had sat for a while longer in the eatery, talking, listening, each trying to understand the other's point of view. In the end, Bella had realized that, while she had reservations about him travelling straight after college, she had no real reason to stop him – not that she could apparently. He already had applied for and received his passport. He'd been to the campus post office and submitted the appropriate paper work, and apparently, you didn't need a parent's authority once you had turned 16. It had been so long since Bella had ever investigated about obtaining a passport that she was completely unaware of the newest application procedures.

They left the eatery still deep in discussion and wandered around the mall, all thoughts about a purchasing a suit forgotten. Eventually Bella stopped and turned to face Dan. She stood in front of him, and looked up into his beautiful face. She saw the face of the man he had become and understood, finally, that this was her chance to let him do what she had wanted him to do all along. Fly. Pick his own path and follow it. She had to trust in him and the job she had done to this point. She had to let him go.

"Do it, Dan," she said simply. "I want you to do it, if that's what you really want."

"Mom, are you sure you're OK with this?" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders as she stood in front of him, and bending down to look directly into her eyes.

"I don't think I'm there just yet," she said, "but I will be. I want you to be able to look back at this time in your life with no regrets Dan, and if doing this," she continued, waving her hand to the side, "going off and being all 'explorer, seize the moment man' is what feels right for you at this point, then do it. The last time I checked, something like this won't be enough to stop the world spinning on its axis."

Oblivious to their present position, Dan pulled his mother into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Mom." He said simply. "Thank you."

"I love you too, Dan."

As Dan held her, he remembered one of the many life lessons his grandfather had taught him, while they were out fishing in his old boat. "Son," he would say to Dan, "you will meet many women in your life. Some may love you, some may use you, and some may leave you. But the safest love you'll ever have is the love of your mother. Don't you ever forget that. No matter where you go, or what you do, your mother will always be the one who taught you about the gift that is love, from the very start. "

_In the years to come, Bella would look back over this decision that was made that night in a shopping mall on this fate filled day. She would wonder how different their lives would have become if she had counseled Dan more against going on his tour of discovery. She would remember how excited he felt at finally having come to a decision, and how anxious she felt about letting him go to explore further horizons then even she had ever expected. And she would remember, with a smile, the quote by Robert Frost that came to her and helped her to understand that she needed to support him and his dreams… _

"_So I came to a fork in the road and I took the road less travelled by, and that, made all the difference."_

_****_

So, now you've read it. Now you know who Dan is. Some of you were right, but some of your guesses kept me well entertained.

Juliebly has made a thread for TTTB over on Twilighted (dot) net under AU/H – come and visit – you will be very welcomed…..

Please take the time to leave a review…… I now understand just how much a review can mean to a budding writer……


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own any of the canon characters, but just a reminder that Dan is MINE, all mine, I say. So to those of you who have indicated you are developing feelings for MY Dan, I might be prepared to share, but then again, maybe not. We'll just have to see if you review at the end and take it from there!!!!

Thanks to all the reviewers and for Lalina, Ady and whoever else out there is rec'ing my fic.

Thanks again to Sunfeathers and Sandy for all the support and hard work and to Grendel for being my...saviour in all things grammar and punctuation.

Now, sit down for this quick read…

It's not terribly long but I feel it has ended at the right place.

Let's see what you think…

**Chapter 3 – Bon Voyage**

"So, do you think you'll be able to get any sleep tonight?"

"I think I should be the one asking you that question."

"But I've not been the one stressing over the trip."

"I've not been stressing. I'm excited about it."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Really!"

As Bella looked around the room, she was amazed that Dan could find anything amongst the chaos there. There were piles of shirts, some folded, some not; jocks, shoes, his Ipod, his jeans, all strewn around the room. She couldn't tell what he was planning to take and what he wasn't.

"Doesn't seem that way to me."

"Then we're both lucky that it will be a cool, calm and collected head that's boarding that plane tomorrow won't it?"

"Cool, calm and collected you say?"

"That I do."

"Then please explain how you intend to fit your size 14 feet into my size 7 sneakers," Bella asked as she peered into his backpack.

"Oh, shit!"

"Mmm. Real cool, calm and collected I'd say," retorted Bella as she retrieved her sneakers before making her way out of his bedroom and back down the hall. She called over her should as she was walked, "While you're rechecking your bag, _again_ love, you might want to see if you've packed my brown leather belt; it seems to be missing too!"

"Damn!"

******************

Bella was amazed at just how quickly the last few months had flown by.

Since the night that Dan had made his decision to travel, life as they knew it had become a whirlwind of activity. Bella had been busy with her usual end of school year commitments, and on top of that, she'd seemed to inherit two more part-time sons into the bargain.

Dan, Chris and their Aussie 'mate' Dean, had started arriving at Bella's house on average one night a week, to plan their Aussie adventure. For boys who'd decided that they just wanted to go with the flow, they seemed to be doing a lot of advanced planning. They had maps and brochures and looked up all sorts of interesting facts, figures and locations on the internet.

Dan and Chris really had no appreciation of just how large a country Australia actually was. Bella remembered the night when, in the midst of a few beers, sodas and a lot of laughter, they told Dean that they thought they could spend a day driving from Sydney to Melbourne and back in the hope of catching some kind of Aussie Rules football game on the Sunday afternoon. Dean had actually snorted his cola across the coffee table at that one.

"Man, it's a 1000 kilometre trip, ONE WAY!" he roared.

"What the hell's a kilometre?" replied Chris.

"There's 1.6 kilometres to the mile, mate," came Dean's exasperated reply. "You two had better start becoming bilingual soon or the Aussies will eat you Yanks alive! Your voices are bad enough…you'll stand out big time in a crowd of Aussies even if you know the lingo."

Dan and Chris looked at each other quizzically.

"What's wrong with our voices?" Chris asked, looking back towards Dean.

"Nothing, when you use them here, but over there, let's just say there's no hiding an American accent when you're in Australia. You look just like the rest of us until you open your mouths and then you lot stick out like a sore thumb. You've got to feel sorry for Canadians though. Most Aussies confuse them for Yanks. Doesn't do much for international relations, I must say."

Bella enjoyed having the boys under her roof one night a week. While she knew it meant the upcoming trip was a done deal, it gave her a chance to experience the joy they took in planning their great adventure. It also gave her the chance to watch Dan interact with his mates and she realised that no matter how grown up he seemed at times, there were still flashes of the boy she remembered left behind: the way his eyes lit up when plotting and planning mischief; the way his cheeky lopsided grin would creep across his face when the boys mentioned something a little risqué that they thought Bella didn't quite catch on to.

Dean would regularly regale them with stories of his home town and his uniquely Aussie adventures. Dan and Chris would listen to him, enthralled. They wanted to go surfing at Bondi Beach, travel to the Great Barrier Reef and watch a football game (even if they couldn't do it in Melbourne.) They were all so excited about their upcoming trip it would remind Bella of the same level of excitement that Dan used to display on Christmas Eve when he was a small child back in Forks.

Bella had spoken with Dean's mother on the phone. She was so very keen to have her son home that the idea of getting a package deal with two extra house guests didn't seem to faze her one bit. Bella was glad that video phones were still an item belonging to science fiction because Bella was sure that if Dean's mom could see Bella's house in the background while the boys were busy eating their way through her pantry and fridge, she would surely change her mind. Dean's mom seemed keen to assure Bella that they would be well and truly looked after while staying at Dean's family home. They apparently had a loft room above their garage, already fitted out with a couple of single beds and separate bathroom facilities which they had built a few years ago to accommodate visiting family and friends from interstate. It sounded great to both Dan and Chris, especially since they didn't have to pay a heap of money for accommodation for that stage of the trip at least.

The boys had gone to a travel agent in town and had booked and paid for their return airfares to Sydney. They were flying out from Boston with a brief stop over in New York and booked a return flight for mid August so that they were able to secure three month tourist visas. Paying for their tickets was a bitter pill for the boys, and the first of many lessons that this touring holiday was going to put a major dent in their savings. For Dan, realising that spending nearly $1500 on airfares alone from his $5000 saving account, was a great life lesson. Going to the bank and getting that bank cheque for such a large amount of money was a whole new experience for him. Bella laughed as he left the bank with a look on his face like a little boy who had realized that his piggy bank was only half full.

The boys ended up deciding to travel to Australia with Dean immediately after completing their course work for their final semester. They didn't even plan to hang around for graduation.

This had disappointed Bella quite a bit initially because she had, for many years, longed for the moment when she would stand proudly by her son and watch him graduate from his combined communications, business and PR degree. She had tried to convince Dan that he would really regret not staying for the graduation ceremony itself but he really didn't seemed too fazed by it at all. He did, however, understand Bella's disappointment.

Dan compromised by organising a formal dinner at a swanky restaurant in town for Bella and Chris' family. He and Chris wore graduation caps and each made a speech thanking their families for their love and support during their college years. It didn't go un-noticed to Bella that both Chris' parents and his two sets of grandparents had been able to attend. Bella had asked Mike and Jess to come along with them to celebrate but their entire family had been struck down with some 24 hour bug that confined them all to barracks and so they'd had to pull out at the last minute.

Bella had been very disappointed that there weren't more people at the dinner to celebrate Dan's success, and despite Bella's attempts at hiding her feelings, Dan had picked up on his mother's sadness during the meal. When it had been Dan's turn to speak, he'd stood and raised his glass to his mother. He told everyone there that he was able to strive for his goals and chase his dreams because he'd had the support and love of the single, most important person in his life – his Mom. He'd then lifted her hand from the table and kissed the back of it, before leaning down to kiss her lovingly on the cheek. Bella had smiled wistfully at her son and had kissed him back, putting her hand on his cheek in a motherly gesture. The other men at the table had responded with a cheer, raising their drinks in turn and Chris' mother had cried. Then she'd promptly cuffed Chris across the back of his head with a spare wine list and asked him why he hadn't made such a wonderful tribute to her after all her years of unselfish devotion.

"Remind me to thank you for that later, _mate_," Chris threw at Dan while everyone laughed.

Dan winked at Chris and laughed and had raised his beer in a salute, before taking another swig.

* * * * *

D-Day had arrived: Departure Day.

Bella woke after a restless sleep and made her way to the kitchen to put on the coffee. Not surprisingly, Dan was already there, dressed, and he had the coffee on.

He walked over to her and gave her a tight squeeze, "Morning Mom."

"Morning, love, how did you sleep?"

"I didn't. Well not much anyways," he said as he turned his back to her and poured her a cup of coffee.

"Told you so."

"What about you?"

Bella took the steaming cup of coffee he offered her and moved away to sit at the small round kitchen table. "Ditto."

"Told you so."

"Since when did you become such a smart ass?" she questioned him, taking another sip.

"Since you provided me with a top notch education. You're only just beginning to appreciate my many and varied talents, Mom," he shot back, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Mmm," she replied, lost in thought.

Dan looked at his Mom and narrowed his eyes trying to read the complex hidden messages in that single sound.

"Are you sure you are up to driving us into Boston today? I'm sure Chris' parents could rearrange a couple of things…"

Dan was worried about Bella making the return trip on her own in the car. She was keeping up a brave face but for the first time ever, Dan knew, she was going to be truly left on her own.

"I've arranged to have the day off work Dan. What else would you have me do? Mope around the house for the rest of the day once you'd pulled away?"

"You'll do that anyway when you get back, won't you?" he asked with concern.

"Ha! That's what you'd like to think, isn't it? No. I've organised a huge hoop-la with all the girls and we're going to paint the town red. Do you know how long I've waited for you to be off on your own?" she threw back at him with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Dan pushed off from the bench where he had been sipping his coffee and crouched down beside his mother at the kitchen table, putting his arm across the back of her chair.

"Mom…," he started.

"No Dan. Don't. It's fine. It's going to be a great day. I'm fine. You're off on a fine adventure. You'll have a great time and things are just as they should be."

Dan looked at his mother as he replayed what she had just said in his head. There were too many "fines" and "greats" in that sentence, but he also knew that he would only upset her further by questioning things any more.

He swallowed the lump that had risen quite quickly in his throat and rose from his position, kissing her forehead as he went.

"So what do you want for breakfast then?" he asked, changing the topic.

"Oh. Well. Breakfast. I'll do that," said Bella, rising quickly from the table herself.

"No, Mom. Let me. You go and shower and I'll get it organised. We can't have you making me late for the plane now, can we? We all know how long it takes you to get yourself organised."

Bella stared at her son with mock horror showing on her face. "That's a bit rich coming from you," she replied as she had a thought. "How are you going to get through customs with all that hair product you use? They might think you're starting to establish some kind of illegal export business in the stuff. And tell me," she said, trying to level him with her glare, "have you packed my blow-dryer?"

"No, Mom," he said rolling his eyes.

"So how are you going to be able to get your 'just rolled out of bed look' just right while you are away?"

"I'll just have to learn to go with the real thing."

"My goodness," she said as she mocked him for the second time that morning. "How ever will you cope?"

"That," he said, while he pushed her gently out of the kitchen, "will have to remain to be seen. Besides, blow dryers aren't that expensive. I can always buy one there if the need becomes too great."

An hour later, Dan loaded his gear into the car as Bella sat and waited patiently in the driver's seat. He then folded himself into the front seat of her little Honda and looked across at her.

"All set?" she asked.

"Yep, all done."

"Have you forgotten anything?"

"Ye of little faith," he scoffed at her before Bella started to back out the driveway.

Bella was laughing so hard that it hurt when two minutes later she pulled back into the driveway and watched as Dan sprinted from the car and up the steps to unlock the front door before disappearing inside. What modern man, on the face of the planet, hasn't forgotten his mobile phone and charger at least once each day? _God help him in Australia_, she thought to herself.

As they drove over to Chris' place to pick up Chris and Dean, Bella and Dan chatted about the process of getting through the maze at the airport.

"You really don't need to come in with us, Mom. It'll be fine just to drop us and get on your way again. You do have the drive home after all."

"You're that keen to get rid of me, are you? What? Do you think I will _embarrass_ you at the airport? Be all teary and what not?"

"It's just really not necessary, Mom," he replied, avoiding answering her directly. "Besides, I'll text you when we get through customs and are sitting in the lounge waiting to board. I'm not expecting there to be any problems."

"But you are forgetting about all that hair product you have stashed away back there," she said as she nodded her head backwards at the trunk of the car.

"Yeah, well, I did take a bit of it out," he replied sheepishly giving his mother a sideways glance.

Bella just smiled in response.

With Dan, Chris and Dean, and all their backpacks piled into her little car, Bella set off for the airport. She didn't need to be too involved in the conversation at all as the three of them chatted amicably, their excitement and volume increasing the closer they got to the airport. Occasionally, Dan would look at her sideways as she drove them along. He was really trying to gauge how she was going to cope with his extended absence. Bella pretended not to notice his scrutiny.

As agreed, Bella didn't go into the airport when they arrived. She pulled up to the drop off zone, grabbed her digital camera, lifted the trunk release lever and then got out of the car. She walked around to the trunk and waited as the boys got out their bags. They were laughing and joking with each other, all eager for their adventure to begin. She got them to stand together on the kerb, and took a quick photo of the three of them, all while the parking patrol officer stood nearby, watching closely that she didn't overstay her time limit.

"Mom, you should have taken that photo on your new phone."

"Yes. Well I'm a little short on time," Bella replied, inclining her head over towards the parking officer, "and this is a quicker option for me until I learn how on earth to work that new fangled thing you call a phone."

Dan had bought his mother a new Iphone as a going away present. He thought it would make it easier for her to get his quick emails and tweets rather than having to log on to a computer all the time. Bella however, wasn't so sure how to work this new technology and it was hidden safely in her handbag for the time being.

Chris and Dean each gave Bella a quick hug and peck on the cheek before grabbing their bags and readying themselves to move off inside. Dan lagged behind. He gave his mom and tight hug and told her he loved her. Bella pulled back to cradle his face in her hands as she looked him in the eye.

"I love you too, Dan," she said as smiled at him sharing a moment, just the two of them. "Now go," she said as she swatted him on the shoulder, "enjoy your adventure. I'll be here waiting for you when you get back."

With that, Dan picked up his backpack and swung it over his shoulder. He joined his mates as Bella made her way back to the driver's door. They all waved as she got in and with only the briefest of glances back at the boys, she pulled out into the traffic. The parking patrol officer watched her go.

So did the boys and then they all walked into the terminal and to the adventure that lay beyond.

* * *

So, there you go. Dan is off on his adventure. It's shorted than I had originally planned, but seemed to want to finish there. The next chapter will pick up when Dan and his mates arrive in Sydney.

Any guess as to who you think he will meet? Bet ya I will surprise you with that little story line.

Come on, you know you want to leave me a review, even if it's just to speculate... go on … hit the button…please? I am not above grovelling if it means you'll show me some added review counts


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome back people!**

**I own nothing (SM does) except 5 kids, a Doberman named Bronte who thinks she is child number 6, and a darling husband who is learning to cope with my twilight obsession.**

**Thanks as always to my darling Sunfeathers for her advice and hard work and to my wonderful betas...Sandy, Lalina and Grendel.**

**And to all those of you who have reviewed and/or put me on alert of one kind or another – thank you, thank you, thank you.**

****

**Chapter 4 – New beginnings**

Bella drove home alone, concentrating on the road in front of her. She was proud of herself and her efforts and the airport. Dan hadn't seen her cry. She hadn't embarrassed him in front of his friends. She'd played the role of supportive mother to perfection in her mind but on the drive home all of her previously contained emotions had begun to bubble their way to the surface, and every once in a while, she had to wipe away the beginning of a tear that threatened to spill over.

She heard the phone that Dan had given her as a going away present chime from the seat next to her. She glanced across at it quickly and picked it up. She saw she had a new message from Dan and she tried, unsuccessfully, to retrieve it while she was driving. She cursed under her breath. _Why was the phone asking for a password? Why was it locked?_

"Damn technology," she mumbled aloud to herself as she tossed it back on the front passenger's seat.

Dan had told her that this would make her life so much easier, but easier for whom exactly? Her? She doubted it, especially if she couldn't even master trying to retrieve a simple message from it. She looked in her rear view mirror and side mirror, then pulled over to the side of the road.

She reached across again, picked up the offending phone and looked at the face of it. She touched the screen delicately and up popped the message asking for a password.

"What the hell could that be?" she again wondered aloud to herself.

She tried her birth date. No good.

Dan's birth date. Again, no good.

"Dammit," she exclaimed. "Dammit it Dan," she said again, and the emotions of the last few hours started to spill over as yet more tears formed behind her eyes.

She blinked them away furiously as she tried to focus on remembering the password that would give her access to this supposedly wonderful life easing piece of technology.

She tried one more password. _Dan_.

Sure enough the screen came to life and Bella shook her head in amazement. How simple. So simple.

She touched the screen gently again and the message Dan left as he boarded the plane appeared.

_Boarding plane now. All good. Will txt u on arrival. Luv u PS drive safe_

Bella sat in the car on the side of the road and reread her message again and again, lost in the moment. She felt the tears begin to rise, and for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day, she blinked them away. She put the phone back on the seat next to her, pulled out into the traffic and drove home, alone.

******************

Dan had briefly texted him mom before boarding the plane. They'd breezed through their check in and customs check and had wandered around the departure lounge looking in the duty free shops until their flight had been called. As he waited in line to board the plane, he wondered how close Bella was to home. He hoped that she'd remembered the password he'd installed on her phone for her so that she could retrieve the message he had just left.

"Penny for your thoughts, mate," Dean said as they waited in line.

"Huh? What?"

"Your mom's a big girl, mate. She'll be fine. She's probably on to her second bottle of champagne as we speak."

"Yeah man. She'll be apples," quipped Chris, "until she comes across that nice little stash of porn you've got in amongst your college stuff," he added with a wink. "That lot may not survive the summer. Still, don't be too upset. Statistically fifty percent of the Aussie population is female so you should be able to score yourself some first hand experiences if you know what I mean?"

"Shut up you pair of..." Dan replied, cutting himself short and looking around him for who was within earshot of their conversation. "We're not even on the plane and you've already started planning conquests."

"Nothing wrong with a little holiday romance," Chris replied. "Just consider it a little bit of holiday reconnaissance, market research if you like."

"Yeah. I just can't wait to see you pull that one off," grinned Dean in response as he dipped his chin towards his chest and looked at Chris while battering his eyelashes.

Chris spluttered when he recognised the double entendre of Dean's words. The two continued to banter back and forth completely oblivious to the stares and glares from the older lady behind them. They were also completely oblivious to Dan's silence as he listened to his two friends' exchanges. A holiday romance seemed good in theory, but he understood all too well the possible implications from such a frivolous and seemingly innocent activity. He said nothing to his friends but a holiday romance was _not_ on his list of "must dos" while touring Down Under.

The boys were seated together in the plane for their trip to New York but unfortunately had no window seat among them. They settled in for the first leg of their journey and ordered a celebratory drink from the flight attendant to toast their trip.

Their flight to New York was over quickly enough and the boys changed planes as required. Their new seating allocations did give them one window seat so they were excited as they hoped to be able to get a good view of Sydney on their final approach. The long haul flight from New York was going to be a test, however, because sitting still for prolonged periods of time was foreign to all three of them. These active young men had rarely sat still for any longer than the length of a movie in the cinema so the twenty-odd hour flight was going to be a challenge to say the least.

They listened patiently to the flight attendant's pre-flight safety talk and noted the warnings about deep vein thrombosis. Dan chuckled when he caught himself wiggling his toes unconsciously during the demonstration and just shrugged casually when Chris caught his eye and questioned him with a look.

"Care to share?"

"Never mind," Dan replied.

"Have you always entertained yourself so readily or is this something new I am finding out about you and we haven't even taxied off yet?" Chris asked as he raised his eyebrows.

"I can keep myself well enough entertained. There's nothing for you to have to worry yourself about."

"Yeah, well, just letting you know that I draw the line at some things," he said with a wink.

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Dan whispered back under his breath and then reinforced it with a closed fist thumping to Chris' upper arm.

"Ow!"

"Girl!"

"Yes please," Chris replied as he rubbed his upper arm.

Dan threw his head back and closed his eyes wondering just how much of Chris' eager libido was going to be exercised over their upcoming trip.

Dean leaned forward and eyed his two fellow travellers. "Don't make me separate you two!" he warned.

"He started it!"

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Excuse me please, _gentlemen_," said the flight attendant in her professional yet authoritative voice. "Would you please place your hand luggage under the seats in front of you and prepare yourselves for take off." Her name was Laura according to the badge pinned on the lapel of her uniform.

"Yes ma'am," all three boys responded.

"Lovely," she smiled in return before moving off further down the aisle without a backward glance.

Dean leant across to Chris and said, "She's Strike One, mate. Two more and you're out!"

All three of them laughed.

****************

The phone in the hall was ringing as Bella fumbled with her keys at her front door while biting today's mail in her front teeth.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she muffled aloud as she willed the caller not to hang up before she got inside.

She unceremoniously pushed open her front door, grabbed the mail from her mouth and lunged for the phone on the hall stand a few feet away.

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Jess. Are you alright? You sound out of breath."

"Oh hey, yeah Jess. I'm fine. Just trying to break into my own house to get to your call and the door wouldn't co-operate," she replied as she tossed the mail and her keys onto the hall stand.

"Ah. Well, have you heard from Dan yet?"

"No, not yet," she said, kicking the door shut. "But Dean's parents are meeting them at the airport so no doubt it's all a little busy there at the moment. They probably haven't even made it back to Dean's place yet," she continued as she walked into her kitchen and threw her bag onto the table.

"Does Dean's family live in the city itself?"

"More like a suburb, I think, 30 minutes or so from the city centre if I understand things correctly."

"Oh well. I'm sure he'll call when he get's settled. Anyway, you come over for dinner tonight and before you go asking," she paused for dramatic effect, "it'd just be you, me and Mike, no-one else, and I'm not even planning to cook. We'll get Thai."

"Oh Jess, that sounds great, but I've got a heap of marking to do before I can get started on end of year reports so..."

"Bella. I'm sorry. You must have misunderstood me," Jess interrupted Bella before she could get any further. "Did I make that sound like a question? I didn't mean to. It wasn't meant to be one. It was more like a statement of what you're going to be doing this evening."

"I see. So, if I said that I have a whole heap of marking to do…"

"I'd remind you that tomorrow is a Saturday and you could easily get a couple of hours marking done in the morning before you get busy with the rest of the stimulating weekend you have no doubt planned for yourself."

"Jessica Newton. Are you taking the mickey out of me?"

"Me? Me? I am most upset that you would even suggest such a thing," she responded in an overly-exaggerated, snobby, upper class voice.

Bella smiled down the phone line at her friend. "Well, if that's the case, how could I possibly refuse such a generous invitation?" Bella chimed back in her own hoity-toity tone.

"Precisely. See you round 6:30 then?"

"Fine," the warmth in Bella's voice conveyed her gratitude towards her friend. "I'll bring the wine."

"No need. Why do you think I said 6:30? Mike's picking it up. He's finished work early and he's on his way home. Any special beverage requests I should let him know about?"

"I thought you said he was already on his way home?"

"Mobile phone technology m'dear. You should really give it a try sometime."

"Hardy, ha, ha."

"With a response like that, I really do think you that you are stuck in the 80's girlie. What do you watch on TV? Re-runs of Murphy Brown?"

"There's nothing wrong with Murphy. She was ahead of her time."

"But so dreadfully behind the present. The shoulder pads and the hairstyles should remind you of that. In any case, I'll just let Mike work his liquor store magic and I'll see you in an hour or so."

"OK Jess. Thanks. See you soon."

Bella walked back out to the hall and placed the phone back in its cradle. She'd thought of Dan and the boys several times throughout her busy day, but hadn't really expected to hear from them before they had gotten settled in at Dean's place.

She glanced at her watch. She had just under an hour before she had to be at Jess' and she could get some marking done before she left. "There's no time like the present," she thought to herself, "and Murphy's _so_ not in the past. The classics never are out of date."

* * *

The plane banked over Botany Bay and made its final approach into Sydney. They'd flown in from the north and the boys had seen, from what Dean had explained to them, Sydney's northern suburbs where his family home was situated. They couldn't see the long white beaches that stretched out to the north of the city because they were on the wrong side of the plane, but they got an excellent view of Sydney Harbour and the Harbour Bridge with the Opera House in the foreground before flying over the Southern suburbs. Dean pointed out the SCG, Sydney's famous cricket ground and original home to the Sydney Swans, Dean's AFL team.

The boys waited for their packs near the luggage carousel at the Sydney International airport. Dan and Chris only had one pack each, but Dean had more luggage than that so Chris went over to get a trolley in order to help Dean with his gear. He looked at the trolley machine and sorted through the handful of loose change he had in his pocket. "$4 for a trolley," he muttered aloud. "$4," he said again.

He looked back and forth between the machine and his loose change realising it was useless and chastised himself for not bothering to get some Australian coins amongst his cash when he exchanged some of his $US at the airport in Boston.

Chris strolled back over to Dean and Dan who were still waiting by the carousel.

"Ah, mate," he started to Dean. "You wouldn't happen to have any Aussie coins on you would you?"

Dean smiled and put his hands into his jeans pocket and pulled out a handful of change. "How much do you need?"

"$4, apparently."

"Two of the smaller gold ones will do it."

"The smaller gold ones?" questioned Chris.

"Yeah," laughed Dean. "Consider it an Aussie joke. The smaller gold coin is actually worth more than the larger one."

Chris looked at Dean quizzically and Dean just shrugged. "We're a unique bunch, what can I say?"

Shaking his head, Chris walked back over to the trolley machine and deposited the two $2 coins. He then fought and tussled with the trolley until it finally came loose from its position in the tracks before pushing it back towards Dan and Dean.

"Did you have a bit of trolley trouble there mate?" Dan said, in his best attempt at an Aussie accent.

"What the hell was that?" asked Dean.

"That, was my first attempt at sounding like an original, dinky-di Aussie, mate!" he tried again, finishing with a wink and a slap on Dean's shoulders.

"For goodness sakes, don't make second. You sounded like a Pommy bastard with a speech impediment."

"Hardy, ha, ha!"

"Now where the hell did _that_ come from?" It was Chris' turn to chime in that time.

"It's something that Mom says when she's being sarcastic," Dan replied.

"Well shut it. You sound like Ritchie Cunningham for fuck's sake," Chris said as he looked around him. "People will want to deport us and we haven't even made it through customs yet."

"Ritchie was pretty popular here in Australia, you know," Dean piped in as he lifted one of his bags from the carousel, "but not in my lifetime. My mum might find it funny though."

"Your M-U-M?"

"Yes, mate. M-U-M. Not mawm or whatever the hell it is that you lot say. You're on my turf now, and it's MUM, as in "da-DUM". Deal with it."

"It's a whole new world out here."

"At least you guys have learnt the use of the word 'mate' correctly. Oh, and by the way, a lot of blokes in social situations get called by their first name or surname shortened, and then an 'o' added to the end."

"Huh?"

'Yeah. Well like you'll hear some of the family call me 'Deano' from time to time, and Chris, well, you wouldn't be called 'Chriso', but more like "Beddo" for your last name, and Dan, you could be a Danno but will you'll probably be more like a "Swano" because, Danno sounds a bit too close to Draino, and we use that to clean the dunnies and the pipes, so you might want to stay clear of that one."

"What the hell did you just say?"

"Don't worry, Swano, you'll pick it up soon enough. Aussies tend not to waste too much effort on articulation. We tend to put that energy towards more industrious pursuits, like bending the elbow," Dean added as he threw the last of his bags onto the trolley.

"What?"

"Never mind. You'll soon find out for yourself I suspect if my family has anything to do with it," he said as he moved off towards the customs baggage check area.

"I am starting to feel decidedly uneasy, _Beddo_," Dan said to Chris as the followed Dean towards the customs personnel.

"You and me both. Let's just stay silent long enough to try and work out what the hell people are saying before we open our mouths."

"Agreed."

The customs check was over quite quickly. Dean was asked to open one of his bags for the customs officers to inspect but after only a five minute delay, and no contraband detected, the boys passed through customs and were only a few steps away from the next stage of their adventure.

"Ready?" asked Dean

"For what?"

"You'll see," he said with a wink as he rounded the corner out of the customs area and into the large arrivals hall where family and friends waited patiently for their loved ones.

"Deano!"

"There he is! Dean! Over here, mate!"

"Where is he? Where's my boy?"

"Geez. Those must be the two American's behind him. Shit, they're bloody tall."

"Dean! Over here, love!"

Dean crossed through the crowded arrivals hall and past the barricades separating travellers from welcomers, with Dan and Chris in tow.

"Hi Mum," said Dean, giving his mother a big hug. Chris and Dan gave each other a sideways glance at Dean's deliberate demonstration of his Australian accent. "Dad!" Dean hugged the man standing next to his mother and gave him a thump on the back. "It's great to see you. Mum, Dad, this is Chris and Dan," he said, indicating each man in turn.

Chris stepped forward to shake hands with Dean's Dad. "Hello, Sir, although apparently, I am more likely to be known as Beddo from now on, that is if your son hasn't been telling too many tall stories on our way out here."

"Well now, Beddo. None of that 'Sir' stuff here. Greg's the name. And you must be Dan," he continued as he turned to shake Dan's hand.

"Hereby known as Swano, Sir, I mean, Greg," he corrected after a quick look from Dean's dad.

"Good. Now this beautiful woman by my side is known as Julie, otherwise known as Mum, Jules or just Ju-ju, depending on how much shit I'm actually in at the time."

"Hello boys. Welcome, and don't mind my men folk here. Their testosterone will only be exaggerated further with a few beers under their belts with lunch, so grow accustomed to it as quickly as you can."

"Thanks for the warning, Julie," Dan replied as he leaned in to give her a quick peck on the cheek, "and thanks for letting us stay at your place. It's really kind of you."

"Yes, Julie, thank you," added Chris as he too followed Dan's lead and gave Julie a quick kiss on the cheek.

"My, oh my, Dean. Young men with manners. And I thought you were going to bring me a couple of brash American boys," she said as she blushed slightly from all the attention she was getting.

"We're from the east coast, ma'am," replied Chris, "and besides, my _mom,"_ he said, stressing the pronunciation for Dean's benefit, "would tan my backside if she found out that I had been disrespectful."

"Oh I love your mother already, Chris."

"Most people do, Julie. Most people do."

A few more welcomes were made around the group of people who had come to see Dean arrive, including Dean's little sister, Ady, who seemed quite taken with her new American housemates. Names and faces seemed to blur past Chris and Dan's line of sight, but Greg assured them as they made their way to the cars, that they would catch up with everyone's names and faces soon enough.

The drive home from the airport was over relatively quickly. It was a surprisingly warm May day in Sydney and the boys had stripped off their jackets and were just wearing t-shirts over their jeans as they got into the car. Winter, by all accounts, was approaching, but didn't officially start until June. Still, with Dan and Chris' experiences of a New Hampshire winter, they believed anything Australia could dish up would only be considered relatively mild by comparison.

The conversation in the car flowed smoothly enough with Greg pointing out landmarks and places of interest as they drove back to Dean's place via the harbour tunnel.

Greg turned on the car's windscreen wipers and water jets as they entered the tunnel, to which Dean remarked, "Oh come on Dad. That joke's really getting a bit old. It was funny when I was twelve, but now? Not so much," he finished, shaking his head.

"Don't worry, Dean, my dad does stuff like that all the time. I think it a universal Dad's Law or something like that. All Dads are the same."

"Too bloody right, Beddo," Greg replied. "We Dad's only have the upper hand for so long and then we get to spend the rest of our lives playing payback to smart mouthed sons."

"It definitely sounds like you and my Dad are cut from the same cloth, Greg. Thank goodness you live on different halves of the planet."

"No doubt he's a good bloke too, even for an American."

"I'll tell him you said that. He may even be able to decipher what you mean."

Dan looked out the window of the car as he listened to the continued chatter back and forth between Greg and Chris, lost in thought.

* * *

Bella enjoyed her evening at Jess and Mike's. True to her word, Jess hadn't used the opportunity to hook Bella up with one of her single acquaintances; it was just a relaxed evening with friends.

"So, Bells, what are you going to do now that you have almost three months to yourself? What have you got planned for the summer?"

"To tell you the truth, Mike, I've planned nothing so far."

"How come?"

"I haven't really given it much thought. Between end of year at work, and Dan's final semester and then his trip, life has just kind of pulled me along as of late. I haven't really given much thought to the summer as yet."

"So, start now. What do you want to do?"

"Leave Bella alone, darl. Let her be. She's only just put Dan on the plane. Give her a chance to work out what she wants to do."

"Excuse me, but who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

"Oh, shut up. I'm just saying give her a chance to breathe, OK? This has been a big couple of months for our girl," she said as she took another sip of her wine.

Mike leaned in closer to Jess and stared into her eyes carefully.

"Name your first born."

"Oh Mike, just piss off," Jess replied, pushing him away from her and rolling her eyes.

"Right answer, you're my Jess. Just checking. I would have been more concerned if you'd actually answered it."

Bella sat and laughed at her two friends. She'd needed this. Maybe Jess was right after all. Maybe she didn't have to focus on the summer just yet. Maybe what she needed was time to regroup.

* * *

Welcome home celebrations were in full swing, even without the guest of honour, when Greg and the boys arrived at Dean's house. Turns out Aussies really liked to party and having the guest of honour there wasn't necessarily a prerequisite.

As soon as they arrived, Dean was swept away by a crowd of well wishers made up of family and friends from his school days. He had been studying in the States for the last four years, only returning home once a year, so his homecoming was a cause for great celebration.

Dan and Chris started to mingle among the crowd of people in the backyard. Greg saw to it that they had a beer in their hands within five minutes of their arrival and that they were introduced to a handful of people. Things went from there. Really, it wasn't necessary for either Dan or Chris to be introduced to people – everyone there knew they were the 'two American boys from Dean's college' who had come to holiday in Australia. Aside from the fact that most people tended to not know who was Dan and who was Chris, everyone was very keen to chat to the visitors.

It wasn't until about an hour into the party that Julie caught up with the two of them again.

"How are you two boys going?" she asked as she walked towards them carrying a tray of honey-soy marinated chicken wings.

"Fine, Julie. You seem to have a huge crowd here," Chris replied, helping himself to a chicken wing.

"Yeah. Well, you know how these things start out. First off it's just immediate family popping by to say hello, then one of them goes off and mentions it to Aunty so-and-so, then you run into a few of his old school mates at the shops, and they mention it to a few others, and all of a sudden you have a mass of people phoning you, asking what they can bring and it all goes from there."

"Asking what they can bring? Like a gift or something?"

"No, darl. I mean a plate."

"Why would people bring a plate to a party?"

"Oh, here goes the cultural divide thingy… Dean warned me about that. Um, I mean a plate with something on it. A plate of nibbles or snacks or salads to share. You know? A plate!"

"O.K. then…" replied Dan, not really understanding but wanting to pretend that he did.

"Aussie entertaining is generally a low key, casual affair. Sure we have 'dinner parties' I suppose, but generally speaking, we relax and entertain around a BBQ and everyone chips in and brings something along, drinks at the very least. It's considered bad manners to turn up empty handed."

"Oh!"

"Not you two, you duffers. You're guests. The rest of this lot," she said as she waved her free arm around the group, "they're all regulars. Well, at least most of them were when Dean lived at home so they have to pitch in."

"OK."

"Well, enough from me. You two boys help yourselves to the beer from the eskies or whatever else you can find in there to drink. See Greg if you want a stubbie holder by the way. You'll warm your beer up too much if you keep holding it in your bare hands," she finished, and with that Julie breezed off to another group of young men and women who attacked her plate of chicken wings with vigour.

Dan and Chris looked at each other with matching expressions.

"Did you catch half of what she said?"

"Half might be taking it a bit far."

"Me, neither."

"Where did she say the beers were?"

"In the esky?"

"How the hell do we find an esky?"

"Follow the trail of beer drinking Aussies, I suppose."

"Right. Find someone with an empty bottle and watch where they go."

"I can help you solve that dilemma," said a voice from behind them.

The boys turned to see an attractive red head standing there with a smile on her face.

"Hi. I'm Mel. You must be Dean's college mates."

"Yeah, I'm Chris and this is Dan."

"And you're both thirsty?"

"Ah...yeah," Dan said, looking a little embarrassed at having been overheard.

"Oh don't be shy," cooed Mel, giving Dan a gentle nudge. "Your voices make you stand out in this crowd. And the height helps, too," she said as she winked at Chris.

"Well, my lovely lady, how do we go about solving our drinking problem then?" Chris shot back, putting on his best false southern twang.

"Why follow me, kind sir, and I'll show you the way," she replied imitating his accent.

Chris grabbed Dan's empty bottle, waggled his eyebrows and headed off to follow Mel across the backyard.

Right at that moment, Dean walked up behind Dan and asked, "Is Chris trying to charm the ladies already is he?"

"Hi, mate," Dan said turning to him, "yeah, sure looks like it."

"Don't worry," he said, taking a swig from his own beer. "That's Strike Two. She's married to my cousin."

* * *

Bella pulled into her driveway later that night and turned off the engine. She grabbed her handbag off the front seat next to her and made her way to the front door when the dog next door barked at the unexpected noise. Bella shushed him and then let herself into her home. She closed and locked the door behind her and dropped her bag on the hallstand as she made her way into the house and through into the kitchen, turning on the lights as she went. She opened a cupboard door and removed a glass, then went to the taps and filled her glass with tap water before turning her back to lean against the kitchen sink and drank slowly from the glass. She tried not to let it worry her that Dan hadn't phoned her yet to let her know he had arrived safe and sound.

_Be reasonable, woman,_ she though to herself. _He's young, out and about on the first few days of his great adventure. Get a grip. He's doing exactly what you wanted him to do._

She turned and placed the empty glass in the sink and made her way out of the kitchen, switching off the light. She climbed the stairs and went to her bedroom, deciding to shower briefly before climbing into bed and curling up with a good book. It was late but since she didn't have to work tomorrow, she didn't have to worry about getting up early. She also didn't feel like sleeping just yet and she had really wanted to finish her latest read. Bella went to her bathroom passing a pile of DVD's stacked next to the small TV on the dresser.

_Mmm…_ she thought as she passed. The Bourne Trilogy was amongst the pile. Maybe the reading could wait for another night. Dan used to tease her that her devotion to all things Matt Damon was turning into a fatal obsession, but she didn't care. A date with Matt would top off the evening just nicely.

* * *

Dan and Chris were starting to fatigue big time. They were experiencing the first signs of the time difference between home and Australia and they had been up for a long time…too long by this point.

Not wanting to upset their hosts, they stayed and socialised with all of Dean's family and friends, but the long hours, plus the beer, had really started to take its toll. Dean was suffering a similar fate, so at least they weren't alone.

People started to disburse four or so hours after they'd first arrived at Dean's place. In the end, Julie, in a none-too subtle fashion, had told everyone to "bugger off" or she would put them on clean up duty.

While a few of the family members had stayed behind to help, Julie told the boys, in no uncertain terms, that they weren't expected to help out. One look at them and she knew what they needed.

"OK you three, time for some rest. You all look exhausted. Dean, take the boys up to the loft and show them where they'll be staying. There are towels on your beds for you too, and you'll pass the bathroom on your way to the stairs. Sleep tight boys. See you in the morning."

"Thanks, Julie. Good night."

"Where's Greg?" Dan asked, wanting to be polite and thank him for his hospitality.

"Chained to the kitchen sink if he knows what's good for him," she shot back. "Don't worry about seeing him. It'll give him and excuse to slacken off. I'll pass on your good nights," she said as she went to head into the kitchen. "Oh and boys? Don't forget to call your mothers if you haven't already, that is. No doubt they'll be wondering whether you got here safely. Put their minds at rest before you turn in."

"OK, will do. Thanks again."

Dean showed the boys up to the loft above the garage. It was a large rectangular room with two single beds, a TV, desk and bookshelf in it. Two long narrow windows ran down either side wall at shoulder height. It was comfy, tidy and just what they needed.

"See you guys in the morning, or later, no rush. Breakfast can be whenever you surface," Dean said as he moved off back down the stairs.

"Right, thanks Dean."

"Night, mate."

"Night."

Chris and Dan noticed that their bags were on the floor at the foot of the two beds. Somebody must have brought them up earlier in the afternoon. They hadn't even noticed.

Dan reached for his bag and rifled through it, finding his mobile. In all the activity of the day, he hadn't even thought about texting Bella to let her know he had arrived safe and sound. That was an oversight and he was feeling a tad guilty.

He looked at his watch and tried to work out what time it would be back home. They were fourteen hours behind Australian EST, so that meant if it was 8p.m. here, it would be 6 a.m. the same day, back home.

Well, it was a bit early, but it would be a nice way to wake her up after all.

He turned on his phone and composed a brief message.

_Hi Mom. Arrived safe and sound. Big welcome home party for Dean. Heaps of people. Went for hours. Crashing into bed now. Talk tomorrow my time. Luv U. _

In the meantime, Chris had grabbed some of his clothes and a towel Julie had left, and had already disappeared back down the stairs to the bathroom. Knowing it would be a few minutes before it was free, Dan flopped back onto a bed and put his hands over his eyes, his feet left hanging off the end. He was asleep within seconds.

_

* * *

_

Bella had stayed up well into the early hours of the morning on her date with Matt. She finally turned off the light around 2 a.m. and fell into a restless sleep. She woke early the next morning, not feeling at all rested. She attempted to go back to sleep but failed, so she turned on the TV by remote and listened to the morning news. The sound of the TV drowned out the sounds from around the neighbourhood as the street came to life. It even the masked the sounds from within her own home, including, the chime from her cell phone sitting forgotten in her handbag downstairs.

**Well there you go.**

**Dan is in Australia.**

**Bella is still states side.**

**What happens next? Teasers on the thread over at Twi for all those who are keen to find out more.**

**Please review. I love reading them, and will respond to each and every one.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi Everyone**

**Welcome back.**

Thanks to the usual culprits.

Thanks to Ady for allowing me to use her name for one of the characters in this fic. The personalities aren't interchangeable. My French, real-life Ady is my twi-daughter and a sweetheart for letting me use her name – her namesake in these chapters was written as a going away present for her to celebrate her journey into far reaching horizons.

I hope you enjoy meeting a few new characters in this chapter.

Now off you go…. Read… and remember to hit the little review button afterwards – even a smilie face will do…. Just something to let me know that you are enjoying the read…

**Chapter 5 – Out and About**

Dan's first two weeks in Sydney were filled with activity. It took the boys a good 36 hours to come to terms with their jetlag. Once their body clocks had adjusted and they were able to function better, Dean had started taking them around the city and introducing them to some of Sydney's more famous landmarks.

Dean's house was only a five minute walk from a major train line and that was the most convenient method of transport to and from the city itself. They had already caught the train to Central station a couple of times. This then allowed them to switch onto the City Circuit which stopped at Circular Quay, a centrepiece to one of Sydney's premier tourist spots. From here, it was only a brief walk to The Rocks, The Opera House and the ferry terminals. Being situated on such a magnificent harbour, a considerable amount of public transport in and around the harbour was carried out by large passenger ferries and even smaller water taxis.

The boys walked from Circular Quay and along the boardwalk to Bennelong Point, where the Opera House was located. They climbed the many steps from ground level to the front sails of the Opera House and took plenty of photos, alongside hundreds of other tourists. They stood on the northern boardwalk on the harbour side of the Opera House and took photos of what is colloquially known as the Coathanger, Sydney's famous Harbour Bridge, which is always used as a backdrop for a massive firework displays each New Year's Eve.

The boys knew that it was possible to complete a bridge climb of the large structure, so on one of their many trips into the city in those first two weeks, Dean took them to the Bridgeclimb headquarters in The Rocks area and they enquired about booking a climb. The boys were disappointed to find that the dawn and twilight sessions of the bridge climb were generally booked out months in advance so booked for a daylight climb to take place in just over a week's time. On the off-chance that there were any last minute cancellations, Dan asked the lady to add their names to the cancellation list should any Dawn or Twilight session spots become available in the next few weeks.

They discussed the bridge climb on one of their night's home for dinner with Dean's family.

"Julie, Ady and I actually did the bridge climb two years ago now, wasn't it Jules?" Greg asked one night between mouthfuls of steak and vegetables.

"Yes, darl. About two years or so ago, I suppose. You were how old Ady? Fourteen?"

"I was fifteen Mum," Ady said in an irritable tone, "and it was two _and a half _years ago." Ady was frustrated by what she felt were constant reminders that she was so much younger than the two American visitors. "And I'll be eighteen this September," she added, hopefully reminding everyone that she wasn't a fourteen year old anymore.

"But you're not eighteen, yet," he father added gently. "And so before you ask again, you can't go with the boys into town this weekend. You're underage and I won't have you going into the pubs with them."

"Geez, thanks Dad. You'll have Mum plaiting my hair again soon. Got any ribbons Mum? I'm sure Dad wants to put me back into pigtails with plaits."

"That's enough of your lip young lady. You're underage. End of discussion."

"May I _please _leave the table then?"

"Ady, don't be rude, we have guests."

"They're not guests, Mum, their Dean's friends, who are _living here_ by the way. And obviously the conversation is going to be inappropriate for the likes of someone as young as me so I may as well be a good girl and toddle off to do my homework like all _little_ girls do," she said petulantly.

The boys kept eating but watched the exchange between Ady and her parents carefully. They were wise enough to keep their heads down and mouths full when they sensed that things were getting a little too touchy.

"Ady, that's enough. Apologise to your mother," Greg said, in a commanding tone.

Ady paused for moment and shot daggers at both her parents from across the table, her embarrassment and discomfort increasing. _Why won't they ever let me just grow up? _she wondered silently to herself. _These boys will never take me seriously if my parents keep treating me like a little school girl_.

Ady placed her hands on the table on either side of her dinner plate, bowed her head and quietly said, "Sorry, Mum. May I please be excused now?" She was becoming more and more uncomfortable by the minute and was fighting the tears of frustration and embarrassment that were forming.

"Yes, Ady, you may go," her father intoned.

Unceremoniously, Ady pushed her chair back from the table, grabbed her dinner plate and left the room. She made a point of dumping her diner plate in the kitchen sink with a clatter before walking out of the room and storming off to her bedroom.

"And no text messaging or phone calls either!" shouted Greg as she made her way down the hall.

There was an uncomfortable silence at the table after Ady's exit. It was finally broken when Chris piped up, "So about that bridge climb then…"

Everyone laughed, remembering what had started that last little tirade and launched back into the conversation.

"Where you scared at all?" Dan asked Julie, who had earlier confessed to a mild fear of heights.

"Well, there was only one little bit when I clearly remember looking down between a platform and a step and looking _all the way down_ to the water, which seemed like it was miles below us; that got my heart racing a little. The view from the top is spectacular though. It is absolutely amazing, in fact. But no more, I'm not going to spoil it for you," she said, waving her knife and fork around before putting another piece of dinner into her mouth.

"What time of the day have you booked your climb for?" Greg asked, taking the last bite of his steak and putting his own cutlery down on his empty plate.

"We really wanted to do a dawn or twilight climb but they were booked out, so we're doing a daylight one instead."

"We've put our names down on a cancellation list though, in case anything comes up," added Dan hopefully.

"OK. Well, what have you boys got planned for the weekend then?"

"Nothing too much at this stage, Dad. Why, have you got something in mind?"

"Well, it might help placate Little Miss Prissy in there if you guys could spend some time with her. I swear to god, all those girly teenage hormones are going to be the death of me. There're enough female hormones flying around this place at regular intervals that a man needs to start wearing a hard hat two weeks out of four."

"You'd better go and find yours then, Greg. Something tells me you might be needing it, _soon_," Julie commented from across the table.

"Right. Yeah, well, as I was saying. If you guys are free on Sunday, I could take you all for a drive up to the Blue Mountains, west of here and do the whole touristy thing; if you're interested that is."

"That sounds good to me," said Chris, with a mouthful of food.

"But Dad, there's too many of us to fit into one car."

"Yeah, well I've spoken to your Uncle Gordon, and he's fine with us borrowing the Tarago for the day as long as you boys wash it when we get back."

"Bloody slave labour," Dean muttered good-naturedly.

"What was that?" Julie asked Dean.

"Nothing, Mum."

"Sounds like a fair deal to me," Dan added, trying to keep the conversation light. "Blue Mountains on Sunday sounds good."

Everyone finished off their dinner and the boys offered to do the cleaning up for Julie and Greg as payback for their hospitality. They boys headed off into the kitchen with the dirty dishes and set about rinsing the plates and stacking the dishwasher. There were the usual things that couldn't go into the dishwasher, so Dan filled the sink, and tossed towels to Chris and Dean as he started to wash what they had to by hand.

When they had finished, Dan pulled the plug from the sink and was fascinated by which way the water spun.

"Hey, get a look at this!" he said.

Dean looked over his shoulder. "What is it Einstein? Water goes down the sink. Big deal. Gravity was discovered a long time ago."

"But look at the way it's spinning. I'm sure that's different to the way it spins at home."

Chris looked over Dan's shoulder. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, look."

The boys stared some more before the last drops of dirty dishwater disappeared."

"You really think it spins down the drain a different way?"

"I think so."

"Hmph. Weird," came Chris' reply.

"Have you ever noticed that before Dean? When you were in the States, I mean?"

"They way water goes down the drain. Nope. Can't say I have."

"Obviously you've spent more time washing up than the rest of us, mate," Chris said as he slapped his hand on Dan's back. "You'll make some woman a fine wife one day!"

"Go to hell…" Dan said but then checked himself, remembering where he was before he said anything too inappropriate.

***********

Greg and Julie had taken them that following weekend up to the Blue Mountains. The mountains were about an hour and a half west from Dean's place, and true to Greg's word, they had borrowed Uncle Gordon's Tarago for the trip.

Rather than getting on the nearest motorway entrance to their house to start their drive, Greg had driven them through the hills district not far from their home to give the boys a view of the mountains from a distance. They had driven to Round Corner, near Dural, and Greg had pulled the car over onto the side of the road. It immediately became apparent how the mountain range had gotten its name from the early explorers of the area. The mountains, which rose in the distance to the west across the flat plains of Sydney's western outskirts, took on a blue hue which was really quite remarkable. They were a huge range of mountains, that stretched as far as the eye could see from the north to the south and the clear blue sky, always a feature at this time of year, made the scene breathtaking. The boys were thankful that Greg had thought to give them this perspective before driving there as they were truly able to appreciate the size and extent of the mountain range.

The day had been thoroughly enjoyable. Dean was a little embarrassed to be on a "family day" as he put it, but Chris and Dan were enjoying everyone's company and the feel of family time. Both boys, whilst independent young men, were missing regular contact with their own families and Dean's helped to fill that hole. The boys also fussed over Ady during the day. She was an attractive young woman, with shoulder length brown hair and expressive eyes. For both men, Ady was and would always remain, their friend's little sister, but they saw her struggle to assert her own independence on the cusp of womanhood. While they tried to make sure that none of their interactions with her could be misinterpreted, they included her in all their conversations and activities throughout the day. They treated her as they would a little sister but also listened to her and respected her as an adult, and as a result, she became a little less pouty and a lot more fun to be around.

They had driven to Katoomba, the town that was the entrance to the Blue Mountains, and visited the lookouts and rode the cable car to the "Three Sisters" an unusually shaped rock formation set apart from the main ridge of the mountain range.

It was cold in the mountains and Julie had warned them to bring their jackets. The clear blue sky was due to the westerly winds which blew in and while they made for spectacular viewing and a clear fine day, the wind chill factor made it decidedly cold.

"You're so lucky that today is as clear as it is," Greg told them as they looked east back towards Sydney from one of the many lookouts they visited that day. "I remember once, many years ago, visiting this spot with Jules while we were dating. We had left really early in the morning hoping to catch the sunrise from this exact spot, only to be completely surrounded by a fog so thick that you couldn't see a metre in front of you. I took a picture of Jules and all you can see is her standing in front of a blanket of white mist. Spectacular photo, including the Missus, but bloody wasted 4 a.m. wakeup call. The sun didn't appear until after 10a.m. when the fog finally lifted."

"And if you think this is cold, you should have been her that morning," Julie added.

"Yeah, it was lucky that you were wearing a thick jumper, hey babe?" Greg quipped, "otherwise, it would have been the first 'white pointer' sighting this side of Sydney since the dreamtime."

Greg earned himself a quick swat across the back of the head for that one as the boys and Ady laughed aloud.

**********************

It was almost a week later, while the boys were having a late breakfast after a big night that Dan's cell began to ring from his jeans pocket.

"What the hell?" he questioned as he listened to the new melody his phone was emitting.

"What's up? Don't you like Taylor Swift? Romeo and Juliette are classic."

"You fuckers," he said quietly under his breath. "We'll talk about this in a minute," he added as he accepted the call.

"Hello?"

He listened carefully to the introduction being given on the other end of the phone.

"Speaking," he answered as he looked up at Chris and Dean with raised eyebrows and mouthed "Bridgeclimb" to them.

"Really? When? Tomorrow? Yeah. OK. Just give me a minute. Can you hold? Thanks."

Dan put his hand over the mouthpiece and looked at the other two.

"They have a cancellation and want to know if we want to do the Bridge climb tomorrow morning, at dawn. It will be an extra $90 each but what do you think? Want to go for it?"

"Mum's riding my arse about job hunting but being a Saturday, I can't see that another day is going to do me any harm. $90 is a bit stiff but if I'm only going to do this once, I'm in if you guys are."

Chris nodded his head eagerly, his mouth full of cereal. "Yub-ony-ive-wonce," he spluttered which made Dan and Dean grimace.

Dan held the phone up to his ear again and spoke to the Bridgeclimb rep on the other end.

"We'll do it. What time do we need to be there?"

He listened carefully to the instructions given on the other end of the phone and made arrangements to pay the new balance in the morning when they arrived. He hung up with a huge smile on his face.

"Well, no late night drinking tonight, boys. We need to be there by 4.30 a.m."

"Holy Shit!" Chris said, hastily swallowing another mouthful of cereal. "That part was hidden by your silence, you bastard - 4.30? What time will we need to leave here Dean?"

"Shit, I don't know. We'll go in by train I suppose, so I'd have to look up the timetables. Geez, eat up fellas. We need to go back to bed."

***************

The boys went to bed early that night and were up by 3 a.m. the next morning. Dan and Chris dressed quickly and met Dean in the kitchen by 3.15a.m. They each grabbed a couple of apples from the fridge before heading off for the walk to the station. They were catching a 3.30a.m. train into town and switching again at Central to join the City Circuit line.

They arrived at Circular Quay a little before 4a.m., and walked through The Rocks grabbing a coffee on the way. They arrived at Bridgeclimb office just before 4.20a.m., which gave them 10 minutes to hang around outside while they waited around in the dark for the office doors to open. As they waited, other people started to arrive, also there obviously for the dawn climb. They included a family of four with two teenage girls and a few of other tourists in groups of two. Each group politely said "Good Morning" to the others quietly and the boys noticed that there seemed to be a couple of other American tourists among the group – two female Americans no less.

The doors to the Bridgeclimb office opened promptly at 4.30am and they all moved inside. The boys made their way to the front desk and handed over their final payment for the climb. As they waited around for everyone to check in, Dan noticed the two American girls whispering quietly to each other off to the side. One was tall with longer blonde hair, the other, a little shorter but not much, maybe only an inch or two. The shorter girl also had sandy blonde hair but it was cropped into a blunt bob style, worn tucked behind her ears. Chris, being the more outgoing of the three boys, caught Dan's eye, winked at him and headed over toward the girls.

"Here we go," Dean whispered to Dan as he watched Chris go. "Want to have a bet on Strike Three?"

Dan smirked with a lopsided grin and watched carefully as Chris began to introduce himself to the girls. He chatted to them briefly, before pointing towards Dean and Dan and then continued with his conversation. Dan smiled in acknowledgement to being the obvious topic of conversation and just as he was thinking that he should head over there, Chris started to walk back towards them, bringing the two girls with him.

"Girls, these two ragamuffins are Dan and Dean," he introduced, pointing out each fellow in turn. "Guys, this is Samantha and Cassandra."

"Hi," each man gave in monosyllabic response.

Dan was a little self conscious in front of the two girls. He wished he had Chris' confidence when it came to meeting new people.

"How long have you been in Sydney?" Dean asked, looking to start conversation.

"A little over a week," the taller of the two, Samantha, responded. "You're a local I take it?"

"Yeah. I've been studying in the states for the last few years at Dartmouth, where I met these two, but yeah," he repeated, "I come from here."

"Sydney here, or somewhere else?" Samantha asked.

"Here, as in Sydney."

"So you are the local tour guide for these two then?" she continued.

"Yeah, I seem to have been awarded that role – unpaid as it is," he added with a smile, "but it's been a while since I have checked out all the tourist spots myself so it's been fun really. You've done well to secure a dawn climb having only been here a week. We've only gotten in on a cancellation."

"Oh, we booked this before we left home. Pays to be organised you know."

Dan kept quiet during this exchange allowing his eyes to just follow the flow of the conversation from one face to another. He noticed that Cassandra, the slightly shorter one, kept quiet too.

"Where did you two girls have to come from to make it here by this time of the morning? How early did you have to get up?"

"Oh we're staying at a hotel here in the city, not far from here, so we only had to leave just after 4a.m. We missed the buffet breakfast at the hotel mind, so I'm going to be starving when this thing is finished."

"Should you really be doing this climb on an empty stomach?" Dean enquired.

"We grabbed a coffee and a muffin on the way here. That should help, I hope."

"Oh well, at least that's something."

"Sounds like more than what we got. We just stole a couple of apples out of the fridge at Dean's place," Chris added, not wanting to be left out of the conversation.

"Maybe we should all grab breakfast when this is over then," Samantha suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," Chris said, before looking towards the other boys for confirmation. "We haven't got anything else planned for today apart from this."

Dan looked up and noticed that Cassandra was looking directly at him. He smiled briefly at her before focusing his attention back on Samantha.

"We haven't really made any plans either," Samantha told the group, "well, nothing that we can't change anyway," she added when Cassandra looked at her quickly.

The Bridgeclimb staff then got their attention by asking them to move through the doors to their left and into a little meeting area where the procedure for the morning would be explained to them. Everyone moved off obediently following their Climb Leader who had introduced himself as Liam. Dan noticed with a smirk that he had what he thought was an Irish accent.

Once inside the smaller room, away from the general reception area, they were each given a declaration form to sign, declaring themselves to be fit and healthy, with no medical conditions that would exclude them from the climb. They were also submitted to an Alcohol Breath Test. It was standard practice, apparently, and everyone was required to be under the legal limit of 0.05% otherwise they would not go one step further past this point.

"Lucky we didn't have a big one last night then," Chris said a little too loudly, obviously trying to impress the girls.

Dan just rolled his eyes and this brief action was caught by Cassandra, who smiled at Dan and shook her head. They were yet to speak a word to each other.

Liam, their Climb Leader, got everyone's attention again, and took them through to the changing area. Each person undertaking the bridge climb had to change into a grey and blue one piece Bridgesuit to wear over their clothes. They were told that any extra unnecessary clothing and belongings could be stored in the Bridgeclimb's secure lockers to be collected on their return. Sunglasses could be worn, but had to be attached to the Bridgesuit by lanyards; likewise handkerchiefs, hats and anything else that might fall loose during the climb. Bridgeclimb's number one priority was safety – not only safety for the climbers but also for the general public who used the bridge. There was to be nothing worn on the climb that could come loose and fall, thus causing potentially dangerous distractions for pedestrians and motorists below. The Bridgeclimb staff took this responsibility very seriously and nobody was permitted to leave this area and pass through to the next section of the preparation until this was checked and rechecked.

As this was an early morning climb, it was unlikely that the westerly winds would be terribly strong, but each climber was offered additional headwear, gloves and a Bridgefleece jacket if they thought they would need it. Every piece of extra clothing on offer had to be attached to the original suit by buttons or lanyards and all were in the same grey and blue combination. There was also a specific reason for the colour scheme. As the bridge was grey in colour, this enabled the climbers to basically blend into the bridge itself, again minimising distractions for the people and commuters below.

Each group member was also given a portable radio and headset to wear that was set on the same frequency to that of their climb leader so they could listen to the commentary given during the climb. They were also given a Bridgelamp to wear - a head mounted caving lamp that would illuminate their path in the dark. Again, these were all attached directly to the suit.

Once everyone was suitably attired, the group moved onto the next part of the preparation – the climb simulator. Here the climbers were given a brief example of the conditions they could expect while on the climb and learnt how to use the safety harness which kept them attached to the bridge at all times. In order to negotiate the ladders and stairs on the climb, the climbers had to learn how to attach and detach their harness clip at varying points. This had to be practised in the simulator until all climbers were proficient.

"Boy, they've thought of everything, haven't they," Dan commented to Chris and Dean as they moved through the preparation exercises.

"Well they can't run the risk of anyone falling off mate," Dean replied. "That wouldn't exactly be a poster moment for the tourist trade, now would it?"

"Has anyone actually fallen from the bridge during a climb?" asked one of the teenagers in the group.

"No. If it wasn't safe, we wouldn't be allowed to do it at all," Liam, their group leader, responded. The whole Bridgeclimb experience was ten years in the planning from the inception to reality. The organiser had to jump through a lot of hoops to even be able to set foot on the bridge, let alone lead tour groups up there. It is a safe as houses, don't you worry about that. We just have to take all the precautions."

The group was on a tight schedule and soon they were underway, walking towards the southern pylon of the bridge in a little under an hour after their scheduled meeting time. They were there to see the sunrise from the top of the bridge after all. It would be dreadful if they missed it.

As they walked from Bridgeclimb headquarters to the Southern Pylon to begin their climb, they listened to the well rehearsed but informative comments from their group leader. Dan was enjoying himself already, the expectation of what he would see from the top of the bridge adding to the excitement. He briefly exchanged words with Dean and Chris as they walked but he was extremely conscious of the whereabouts of one particular member of their climbing group – Cassandra. He hadn't even spoken a direct word to her but his heightened awareness of her let him know where she was at all times. He caught himself looking surreptitiously in her direction regularly and at times, he felt as if she was looking at him too, and whenever he raised his eyes in her direction, she would quickly avert her gaze.

Once they began their climb there wasn't really much opportunity for conversation and they travelled in single file. Chris stood aside to let Cassandra and Samantha go in front of them before he followed them up the first ladder.

"Smooth, mate. Real smooth," Dean commented to Chris as he looked at the view Chris was going to enjoy for the rest of the climb.

"I am nothing if not a gentleman," Chris pompously replied with a wink.

Dan just shook his head and followed Dean up the ladder.

It was dark as they began their climb. The city's night lights were still evident and every once in a while, Liam would remind everyone to stop and look around them towards the city to take in the view. It was breathtaking. The darkness of the waters of the harbour which reflected the city lights was a sight to behold.

The climb was surprisingly easy and nowhere near as arduous as the boys had expected. It was also timed to perfection. There were certain spots along the climb, where they were asked to stop while they were told about some special feature or viewpoint to notice and as they neared the top of the bridge, the first rays of the morning sun were starting to stream over the Pacific Ocean towards the east. Liam bid them to turn off their Bridgelamps and enjoy the view. From their position close to the top of the bridge, they could look straight down the harbour and watched as the meniscus of the sun as it rose above the water line on the horizon.

It was one of those moments in life, Dan expected, that he would never forget.

He gazed out in awe of the view and then he took a brief look towards his friends to see if they too were experiencing the magic before them. All eyes were focused on the distance. All eyes, except those belonging to Cassandra. As Dan looked at his friends, Cassandra turned her face and her eyes meet his. For the briefest of moments, their eyes locked together, and Dan felt his heart beat faster, and the muscles in his stomach clench as he looked into her beautiful eyes. She smiled gently at him, and then turned back to watch the kaleidoscope of colours emerging with the dawn. Dan however, continued to look at her for a few seconds longer before adjusting his gaze once more to the view over the harbour, a small smile lighting his face.

Once they had observed the sun's early rays light the morning sky, they posed for the obligatory group shot which would be given to each of them, in turn, after they completed their climb. The boys also posed for a shot of just the three of them and then once again, Chris' flirtatious side won out, and he got a shot taken that included Cassandra and Samantha as well. The boy really was incorrigible.

The group made its way across the centre span of the bridge and down the other side. The night lights had now disappeared and the sky was clear, giving them an amazing view of the Gladesville bridge and out to Sydney's western suburbs on their descent.

When they finally arrived back at Bridgeclimb headquarters, nearly 3 and a half hours after they had first arrived, they were all thrilled for the experience and just a little hungry. They were given the opportunity to change out of all their Bridgeclimb gear, and met in the foyer of the administration area, where they collected their official bridge climb certificates and complementary group photo. Dan, Chris and Dean bought one copy of the two other photos taken from the top of the bridge, deciding to scan and email copies of the photos to each other once they got home.

They collected all their bits and pieces and met on the street out the front just as Cassandra and Samantha emerged.

"So ladies, do you still feel like grabbing a bite to eat?" Chris asked them, hopefully.

"Sure. We're up for it, aren't we Cass?" Samantha replied.

"Yeah, I suppose. Can we eat somewhere close by?" Cassandra asked.

"There are heaps of little cafes around here," Dean told them. "Let's head off through The Rocks and see what we can find as we go."

The group walked along with Dean and Chris falling into stride with Samantha. Dan walked alongside Cassandra.

"So, was that everything you had hoped it would be Cassandra?" he asked her, trying to strike up a conversation.

"It was pretty amazing, wasn't it?" she responded, "and please, call me Cassie. Cassandra is such a mouthful."

"I think it's a beautiful name," Dan said, before he realised just how trite that sounded in his ears.

"Well thanks. My Mom insisted that everyone called me Cassandra for quite a while, but then everyone got really sick of it taking so long, so it was eventually shortened, despite her protests."

"Yeah, well my name can't be shortened at all. It's Dan. Not short for anything at all. Just Dan."

"I think it suits you," Cassie observed. "It's a strong name; straight to the point."

Dan looked at her and just nodded his head in response.

"What do you think of this then?" Chris said to the group as they came across a small café built in amongst the old stone buildings in the historical area.

"If it has coffee, I'm in," Samantha announced.

"Sam has a bit of a thing for coffee," Cassie explained. "She'll start bouncing off the walls if you let her have too many before lunch."

"But I can keep going way into the night time on a few shots of espresso you know."

"We might have to try out that theory while you're here," Chris teased. "OK ladies, after you," he said as stood aside and gestured grandly for the girls to walk up the two worn stone steps and into the coffee house.

The boys ordered a hearty cooked breakfast – bacon, eggs, sausages, toast with coffee to wash it down. The girls ordered yoghurt and fruit, also with coffee chasers.

"What?" Samantha challenged when Chris gave her a questioning look once it was all delivered to the table where they sat. "Do you think I get to have a figure like this," she gestured to herself by waving her arm down the front of her body, "by eating something like that," she continued and then pointed to the boys' plates with a look of disgust on her face.

"There's nothing wrong with this," retorted Chris as he picked up a piece of bacon in his fingers and waved it in front of Samantha's face as long as you play hard enough to work it all off afterwards."

"Ew," Sam replied, swatting away his hand with the offending bacon. "Put it away."

Dean laughed into his coffee. "Bet ya that's not the first time he's heard that comment."

The table erupted in laughter at Chris' expense, everyone enjoying their shared joke.

Conversation flowed easily between the five of them as they munched and sipped their way through a leisurely breakfast. Dan continued to look toward Cassie at different times while in the coffee shop. He couldn't ignore the fact that she was fascinating to him. Her eyes lit up as she laughed and there was an ease about her, like she was totally relaxed in her skin. It was an attractive quality. A very attractive quality he decided.

Cassie too, was very much aware of Dan. They sat next to each other over breakfast and she could feel the heat coming off his upper arm; they were in such close proximity to each other seated around the small table as they were. She realised he had caught her attention from the moment she had first noticed him that morning, and it was yet to waver.

As they walked out of the café, the warm winter's day shone down on them.

"Geez, with a winter like this, I am surprise you ever came to New England, mate," Dan offered to Dean as they walked slowly through the streets back towards Circular Quay.

"It does get cold here, but not like there. Days like these are here just to remind us that god made Australia for the lucky few. The rest of you have to live elsewhere."

"Lucky few?" questioned Cassie. "Weren't you all thieves or pickpockets way back when," she asked, referring to the convict heritage many Australia's have.

"Not me Cassie. My family were 'free settlers' as they were known. In fact, if you're one of the lucky few who can actually trace their heritage back to a convict, you are given a great deal of respect in this neck of the woods. Australians always value the underdog."

"The underwhat?"

"The underdog, the battler. The person who has to struggle to succeed against the odds. Nothing handed to them on a silver platter. You know, worked their way from the ground up. Blue collar workers."

"Blue collar workers?"

"Yeah, as opposed to white collar workers."

"White collar workers?"

"Can anyone else hear an echo or is it just me?"

"I thought Australia doesn't have a class system?" Cassie asked.

"It doesn't. Most of this country has been built on the back of hard yakka – hard work," he explained when the girls looked at him quizzically. "There is a real appreciation of the back breaking work of the early settlers. It is getting lost a bit now though. There has been a definite shift in the demographic of the country in the last twenty years or so. Most younger people think getting their hands dirty is beneath them these days. Our migrant forefathers would literally turn in their graves."

"What was the comment you made about having to wash your uncle's car the other day Dean?" Dan reminded him with a laugh.

"Yeah, well that _was_ bloody slave labour. That man never washes his car."

Cassie looked at Dan, seeking an explanation.

"Dean's family borrowed his Uncle's people mover last weekend to take us all on a trip up to the Blue Mountains, on the condition we washed it for him when we got back."

"We bloody vac'ed it out, too. Got a great deal he did."

"Sounds like you're a bit upset about getting your hands dirty," Sam quipped.

"They got dirty AND wet."

"Hard yakka. Wasn't that what you called it?"

"Slave labour I told ya. Slave bloody labour."

"So, are you girls up for some more touring or do you have other plans?"

"What have you got in mind?"

"Well, it's such a nice day that we could take a trip on the ferry across to Manly and go for a walk along the beach."

"Where's Manly?"

"On the northern side of the harbour, closer to the Heads. The big green and yellow ferry's can take us right there."

"I'm up for it if you are Sam," Cassie said, taking the lead and giving her cousin a definite look.

"Yeah, alright. Count me in. I don't think I'm dressed appropriately for a walk along the beach though."

"You don't have to get your feet wet if you don't want to," replied Dean. "Only bloody southerners swim up here this time of year anyway."

"Who?"

"Victorians. Different breed of people down there. They think iced water is warm."

"Maybe they're a bit like us hey?"

"Nah. You're from California, aren't ya? Sun and beaches over there."

"So are we going or what?" Chris asked. "Time's awasting."

"Yeah. We're in," Cassie answered this time for the both of them.

"Great!" Chris boomed. "Lead the way unpaid tour guide!"

Dean moved through the crowded boardwalk at Circular Quay and down towards the wharf where the ferries departed. The others all followed his lead and stopped to buy return tickets from the guy in the ticket booth.

They waited among the other people on the wharf until a ferry came in, docked and unloaded its passengers, and then boarded for the trip across the harbour.

"These ferries look weird," Cassie commented. "I've just worked out what it is. They have two fronts."

"Bows," Dean corrected. "Two bows, and yep you're right. There is so much traffic in the harbour, it saves having to turn these big buggers around each time. They just motor in, the captain moves down the other end, and they just pull out again. No turning."

The group of five went and stood along the starboard side of the ferry as it pulled away from the wharf. They all took out their cameras and snapped plenty of pictures of the Opera House from the water and then moved quickly through the boat and out the other side to snap some pictures of the harbour bridge as the ferry picked up speed and headed east out towards Manly.

"What's that?" asked Dan as they passed a small brick structure in the middle of the harbour on their port side.

"That's Fort Denison, a.k.a Pinchgut."

"What is it used for?"

"Now, it's just a tourist attraction. The structure you see there was originally built to defend the harbour against attack from the Russians in the mid 1800's. The island rock that the fort stands on was nicknamed _Pinchgut_ by the early convicts. Convicts in need of more severe forms of punishment were often put on the island, exposed to the elements and with little food or water. By the time they returned, it was said you could pinch the skin around their guts they'd lost that much weight – not that I suspect any of them were overweight anyways."

"Why wouldn't they have just swum back to the mainland?"

"The Harbour harbours, if you pardon the pun, plenty of fish life… _big sharp teethed_ fish life, if you know what I mean."

"Sharks!" Sam exclaimed, loudly over the noise of the engines.

"Yeah. There was an attack on a Navy diver a few months ago not too far from here. Still, fish life isn't as plentiful in the harbour as it once was. Too much traffic on it."

Dan could see what Dean meant. He was amazed by the amount of boats on it of all shapes and sizes – family boats, yachts, jet skis, not to mention the large ferries and passenger catamarans that transported people all over the place.

They ferry took them out closer and closer toward Sydney Heads. On their starboard side you could see the exclusive homes of Point Piper and Vaucluse.

"Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise owned one of the houses up there," Dean pointed out.

"Oooh. Which one?" Sam asked enthusiastically.

"Dunno," Dean shrugged, "wouldn't have a clue."

"Some kind of tour guide you are," Sam teased.

"Hey baby, this service comes cheap," Dean winked.

"Cheap as in free, so obviously we got what we paid for," chimed in Chris.

"Precisely," Sammy replied who then gave Dean a strong nudge against his shoulder.

"Oh. Ok. Yeah. I get it! Ha ha. Good one," he answered back and winked.

Dan leaned out over the railing of the ferry, watching the water as it swished past below.

"It's a pretty amazing place to visit, isn't it?" Cassie asked him. He could just make out her question over the noise.

He had to lean in closer to her to make himself heard.

"Yeah. The scenery _is_ pretty spectacular," he said and then he cringed at his own words. What was it with this girl? It seemed like he couldn't form an intelligent sentence when she was around.

Cassie laughed at his sudden discomfort. She placed a hand gently on his forearm that was hanging casually over the edge of the handrail. "I'm enjoying the view too," she answered simply, giving his arm a squeeze before pushing off and walking over to stand next to Sammy and Dean, looking back over her shoulder as she went.

Dan was at a loss for words, again. She was having an incredible effect on him. He stayed where he was, leaning against the railing, while he absentmindedly rubbed the skin on his forearm that she had just touched. He looked over to her. Once again their eyes locked, and Cassie gave him a warm smile before turning to look out over the water once more. _Bloody hell_, he thought to himself and then smiled as he realised he had obviously picked up a few Aussie sayings in the last couple of weeks.

He too turned to cast his eyes back over the sights in front of him but he didn't focus on the large cliffs he knew to be Sydney Heads as the boat turned and started to make its way into Manly. His mind was elsewhere. It was on the gorgeous creature a little away to his right, who was constantly winning his attention and consuming his thoughts. The scenery just melted away and his mind drifted away too, remembering instead a set of warm light brown eyes and a smile that made him want to melt from the inside out.

* * *

And before you have to ask… this IS an E/B story - eventually. Some major plot developments have to occur before our two main characters can meet. But it WILL HAPPEN… DEFINITELY…It's not called _The Ties That Bind_, for nothing

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	6. Chapter 6

**Welcome baaaack!**

Hi everyone.

I forgot to say this last time… I don't own twilight, or any of the canon characters, but Dan, Cassie and a couple of others are mine…..

And Sandy and Lalina, and all the girls on the threads who helped to boost my confidence when it took a hit, thank you so much for getting my head out of my …. Yeah well, there you go!!!.

To those of you taking the time to review, thanks for the feedback – it's appreciated.

This chapter is a biggy. Get a coffee, or a wine, and sit back for the read.

I hope you enjoy.

**Ch 6 – When the cat's away**

Bella woke in her bed and stretched lazily. She rolled over and contemplated not having to get up straight away and start her regular routine.

Now that she was officially on her summer break, she had time to waste if she wanted to: time to read; time to relax; time to devote herself to something other than being a teacher and carer for other people's children.

She looked over to the clock that was perched alongside a couple of unfinished books on her bedside table. 7:15 a.m: too early to have to consider getting up just yet.

Bella noticed her phone flashing steadily next to her clock radio. Since having missed the text message Dan had sent the night he'd arrived in Sydney because she had left her cell in her handbag downstairs, Bella had taken to putting it on her bedside table each night. The time difference made it difficult for Bella to get Dan's messages as they came in. He usually texted her late at night his time, which meant it was early the next morning her time when they arrived on her phone. Still, it was a nice way to wake up. He didn't text her everyday but it was a regular enough occurrence that Bella looked for her phone each morning as she woke. Sometimes he didn't text at all, but rather sent emails with the odd photo attached. It was easy for him to do this from Dean's place. She suspected that once they hit the road and travelled north as they planned to do, his emails would become less frequent as it would mean that he would have to find an internet café somewhere en route to post his messages.

Still, for the moment at least, Dan had kept her relatively well informed of his adventures. He'd told her about his trips in and around Sydney itself: Bondi Beach, Darling Harbour, the Blue Mountains, Circular Quay and Manly had been described in detail, and Bella had Googled each of the locations he mentioned to get a visual on what he was experiencing. It helped her feel a little more connected with him when she did that.

She was impressed with the detail he had gone into regarding his climb of the Harbour Bridge. It was one of those iconic landmarks that most people around the world could identify easily by sight, and to think that he had experienced it first hand was just amazing to her. If she was being really honest with herself, Bella was a little jealous of Dan and his holiday experiences.

Bella leant over to pick up her cell from the bedside table. She unlocked the phone and opened up the text message he had sent her. Thinking about it now, she really didn't know why this piece of new technology had scared her so much when Dan had given it to her as a going away present. Most of the time it seemed so second nature to her now but she was still a novice at sending messages. Reading them was one thing but sending them was quite another.

Bella read the text message eagerly.

_Hi Mom. Pick up wicked camper 2morrow. Plan to head off next day (Tues am here) to drive north. Looking forward to it. Travelling with a__nother couple of Americans we've met in Sydney. Will txt you again when underway. Luv u._

Bella sighed at the brief message. Emails always held so much more detail.

Bella put the phone back on her bedside table and picked up a book to spend a lazy hour or so in bed with some reading. She rolled over onto her side and settled in to the chapter. She wanted to see the movie the next week and she was trying to remember what the devil Malfoy was really up to in the Room of Requirement.

* * *

Dan and Chris had been to the Wicked Camper office after researching the campervans online following a recommendation from Dean. Wicked Campers were a campervan with a unique appeal. Cheaper and more basic than regular campers for hire, Wicked Campers were also painted "graffiti style" with unusual slogans along their sides. Considered a little risqué at best, the campers were ideally suited to backpackers who could afford to drive themselves around the country. Each camper was fitted out with the bare basics, fundamentally two single beds, a small table, camp kitchen, icebox, sink and stove. They were affordable; at least when the two boys split the cost between them. It also meant they could travel at their own pace, touring the country and stopping whenever and wherever they wanted.

After meeting Cassie and Sam on the bridge climb, Dan and Chris had seen the two girls regularly over the next week or so. They found they had a lot in common, and that they had really enjoyed each other's company as they continued to tour the sights that Sydney had to offer. Dean had to spend less and less time with them as the demands of the real world invaded on his time with his friends. Unlike the tourists, he had to focus on getting a job now that his studies had finished.

One day, as the four tourists were strolling around Darling Harbour, their conversation turned to discussing what each duo was going to do after they finished their time in Sydney.

"Dan and I are planning to head north, up the coast. We hope to get as far as Cairns if all goes well. What about you two?"

"We were going to fly to Brisbane next. Stay there for a while, and then head further north after that. Maybe we can hook up again somewhere along the way?" Sam suggested.

"Why not travel with us?" Dan asked. The thought came out of nowhere and he had asked it before even considering the implications or discussing it with Chris.

"Bus it?" Sam was incredulous, "I don't think so. Bussing it isn't our style."

"We're not bussing it," Dan said. "We're going to hire a campervan and drive ourselves up the coast."

"Seriously?" asked Cassie, joining in the conversation.

"Yeah, why not? That way, we can stop off wherever we want, whenever we want. We've got nearly two whole months to make the trip. We can take our time and really enjoy it."

"Do you intend to drive the whole way back to Sydney again? That's a bit pointless isn't it?" Sam questioned. Campervans really didn't seem like a great way to travel in her mind.

"Nah. We plan to leave the camper in Cairns and fly back to Sydney before heading home."

"Can you do that?"

"Sure. Wicked Campers have offices all over the country. They are designed for one way trips, to cater for the tourist trade."

"What's a Wicked Camper?"

"That's the name of the camper company we're hiring from. They're basic and pretty cheap, which suits our budget nicely."

"You are seriously going to drive yourselves all the way to Cairns?"

"As long as we stick to the left and keep heading north, we think we'll be fine,"

boasted Dan.

"What do these Wicked Campers look like?" Cassie asked.

"We can show you on the net if you like. If we can find an internet café I'll pull up the home page. Why? Would you seriously consider coming with us?" asked Dan.

"I don't know," Sammy hedged. "I kind of like the hotel life to tell you the honest truth."

"Yeah, well we don't all have the luxury of that kind of money to fund our trip, so a camper is the way to go for us."

"Where would you stay?"

"Caravan parks and the like."

"Shared amenities?"

"That's generally how it works in caravan parks."

"Oh, no way."

"Oh, come on Sam. It might be fun. It'd definitely be an adventure, something we came here for in the first place, remember?"

"I didn't come here for a camping holiday Cass. My god, I've never been camping in my life."

"Well, since your taste runs a little more extravagantly than ours," Chris commented, "there are a whole range of campers, that should you be willing to give it a try, might be more to your liking than a Wicked Camper. Some even have their own toilet and showers and everything."

"Besides, it really isn't that much of an inconvenience the shower thing. Dean's Mum told us that you just need to wear a pair of thongs in the shower."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I thought that one would get ya," Chris quipped.

"Well it got you too when Julie first told you about it, remember?" Dan reminded him.

"Well, who knew the word "thong" had such different connotations here than back home. I've got to admit, the mental image was pretty funny."

"You guys are speaking in shorthand. Go back to the whole _thong_ thing," Sammy interrupted. "Why would it be necessary to wear a _thong_ in the shower? I'm not showering anywhere that's that filthy," she added.

"Not a thong, sweetcheeks. _Thongs_. They're what Aussies call flipflops."

"Seriously?"

"Uh huh," Chris nodded.

"And we need to wear flipflops in the showers because…."

"Well, you don't want to go getting any foot nasties from using the public showers, do you?"

"Chris, shut it. You're _not_ doing a great sales job on this idea you know," Cassie admonished him, before turning to her cousin and continuing. "Don't worry about it Sammy, I'm sure we could get some kind of camper with a toilet and shower in it if you're really interested."

"I don't think I'm interested. In fact, I know I'm not."

"Sam, this could be fun," Cassie said, looking firstly at her cousin and then towards Dan. "This could be something really different."

"Our parents would have a fit if they knew."

"Not if we don't tell them about it. We could tell them that we are hiring a vehicle and driving ourselves around. They would assume we were staying in hotels and things. They would be none the wiser."

"Cassandra Ann! Whatever are you suggesting?"

"A little adventure, if I'm not mistaken? Are you game, cousin? Or are you going to stay Daddy's little girl for ever?"

"I thought you had that role all sewn up, not me."

"Well, you're the one acting like it."

The two girls looked at each other. Cassie was staring at Sammy in a way that basically challenged her to go for it, or continue being known as a Daddy's girl.

Sammy glared at Cassie for a long moment. She really wasn't prepared to lose face in front of the two boys and be known as Daddy's spoilt little rich girl.

"So," Sam said finally, turning towards the two boys, "we would drive one of these portable bathrooms on the road would we? Moving from place to place as the wind takes us?"

"Basically, yeah."

Sammy looked at her cousin again carefully before turning back to the boys and declaring, "Where would we go to check out one of these 'up model' portable bathrooms on wheels then?" she asked in a challenging tone.

The two boys looked at each other and laughed. "I am sure we can find that out easily enough. Let's go find us an internet café."

The four of them started off through the maze of shops, the boys stepping it out in front taking the lead, trying to remember where they had seen an internet café earlier in the week.

"Have you got your camera on you, Sam? I think we should shoot off an email home while we're there," Cassie said. "I'd like to drop a line to Mom and Dad."

"You're not going to tell them about the whole camping idea are you?" asked Sam incredulously.

"No, of course not silly. Check out the date Sam. It's Grandma and Grandpa's wedding anniversary tomorrow. We should really drop them a line to say 'Hi' with a couple of recent photos you know. Everyone is coming to Mom and Dad's place for a party, remember?"

"God, I'd forgotten. Is the _whole_ family going?"

"Apparently so."

"Even …..?"

"Yep."

"What did they do? Haul him out of the music room by his ankles?"

"I have no idea, but Mom said he was going."

"But it's not even Thanksgiving or Christmas!"

"I know."

"Geez, maybe he is getting a life after all."

"The way he always locks himself up in the music room with all his instruments and computers, makes me think he's become part vampire. You know, like he'd go 'poof' and become nothing more than dust if he walked out into the sunlight."

The boys had stopped outside the front of an internet café and had waited for the girls to catch up with them. They had only caught the last bit of the girl's conversation.

"Who would go 'poof' if they went out into the sunlight?" asked Dan.

"Our Uncle," Sammy said.

"We don't get to see him too often," Cassie added.

"So what's his story? Is he a little weird or something?" Chris asked, curious.

"Hardly. He's a musician and really gorgeous. He works from a music studio at his place. We see him a couple of times a year but my Mom speaks to him a lot on the phone. He's always 'around' – you know, emails, phone calls and the like, and we have a great time with him when we do actually get to see him. He just, I don't know, prefers his own company I suppose."

With that, Dan pushed open the door to the internet café and stood back to usher the girls inside. They paid for twenty minutes access and began to search sites for campervans. Dan showed Cassie and Sam the Wicked Camper site and Sammy looked shocked.

"There is _no way_ I am travelling around in something like that!"

"That's why we're going to show you other alternatives, sweets, don't panic," Chris told her. They had to pay for an additional twenty minutes of net time to research alternative styles of campervans and get contact details for the girls to make enquiries. By the time they had finished looking up things on-line, Cassie had a huge smile on her face. She took Dan's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"You would really consider doing this then?" he asked, not believing his luck. "You'd like to travel with us for a bit?"

"Yeah. I think I'd really like to spend a lot more time with you, I really would. Would that be OK with you?"

"That would be more than OK with me, Cass," he replied with a grin. "That would be really great." He couldn't help the smile that had spread across his face and she answered it with one of her own.

By the time the girls had downloaded some photos and composed a brief message home to their family, they had been in the café for over an hour and they all had sipped a couple of coffees in that time.

"The next thing I need to find is a bathroom," Cassie said dancing on the spot as they got ready to leave.

"By all means, my dear lady," Chris gallantly replied. "Let me show you the way."

"You know where the nearest bathrooms are?"

"No. No idea. But it will be really funny watching your eyes start to water as I walk around trying to find them."

* * *

Cassie and Sammy did in fact hire a camper, albeit a little flasher and much less noticeable than the one that Dan and Chris had hired. Their camper came with two single beds, a small kitchenette and a compact toilet and shower. Luckily, Cassie had thought to secure an International Driver's licence before leaving America, so after using their credit cards to come up with the security deposit for the camper, the booking went smoothly. Samantha was still a little hesitant about touring the east coast of Australia camper style – she didn't like the idea of roughing it - but because she was outnumbered, she went along with the others.

Dan and Chris were really excited to be travelling with the girls, but for different reasons. Chris was glad to have extra company. He and Dan got on famously but the thought of spending nearly two whole months together in such close quarters without a break seemed a little much for him. Dan, on the other hand, relished the idea of spending as much time with Cassie as he could.

Even though they had been in each other's company a lot over the last week, Dan and Cassie's original attraction to each other hadn't diminished with the passing of time. In fact if anything, they'd both become even more aware of an intense electric feeling that flowed between the two of them whenever they were in close proximity to each other.

The four tourists, accompanied by Dean, had spent a couple of nights out and about around town visiting nightclubs and pubs and experiencing the nightlife Sydney had to offer. A trip to Sydney's infamous Kings Cross had been a highlight and they were all feeling a little gobsmacked and lost for words at some of the getups worn by some of the night-time locals. That was the first night Dan and Cassie had crossed the careful boundaries they'd established as 'friends'.

They were in a pub at the Cross and Cassie had been propositioned by a couple of local yokels who wouldn't take a politely worded 'no' for an answer. Dan and Dean had stepped in to protect the girls from the unwanted advances, and Dan had pulled Cassie into his arms and held her closely while telling one of the sharks to "nick off" in no uncertain terms.

The thing was, when the would-be dates were no longer a problem, Dan didn't let go of Cassie but continued to hold her close to him for some time after that. She'd later suggested they go out to the dance floor and Dan found that it had given him plenty of opportunity to hold her close yet again, especially when a slow song by the Irish group, _The Corrs_, had played. Much to Dan's delight, Cassie hadn't tried to pull away. She'd actually snuggled up close to him and returned his tight embrace during the song, only pulling away when the music changed yet again to a loud and raucous number by _Pink_.

Chris and Sammy had watched the exchange with interest. Both of them had looked at the other as they slowly sipped at their drinks.

"So, looks like these two may be starting to get a little hot and heavy. Do you thing we should….?" questioned Chris

"What? God, no. Not on your life," Sammy replied, taking another swig of her drink. "You're a great guy and all, but you're not my type. Don't take this the wrong way, Chris, but I'm just not that into you."

"Oh, thank god," Chris replied, clinking his bottle against hers. "I like you too babe, but nah, it's just not ever going to happen."

"Nuh. Not ever. I suppose we'll just have to be the chaperones then. Huh?"

"Yeah, sure looks like it. Whoop-dee-bloody-doo!"

* * *

Bella got a brief text from Dan the day he left on the road trip.

_Just leaving Sydney. Headed for Newcastle, maybe even further north. See what happens. Will txt again soon.. xx D_

She sent back a brief message.

_Drive safely. Have fun_.

Dan had never mentioned much about the fellow American travellers he and Chris had met in Sydney. Still, she felt better knowing that he and Chris were travelling in a small group and hoped that everyone was able to get on well enough during the planned two month trip together. Still, she surmised, it shouldn't be too difficult for them to go their separate ways if things didn't work out.

Bella too had a few things happening in her own life at this point in the summer that she hadn't shared with Dan yet either.

After a spur of the moment decision, she enrolled in a social dancing group. She went twice a week, on Tuesday and Friday evenings to a social dancing club and was learning to do something she had long aspired to: ballroom dancing. She didn't think she was very good mind you, but it got her out and about a couple of nights a week and she was meeting some wonderful people.

At first, Bella had been very hesitant to join the group as a single. She was very concerned that she would be a wallflower without a dance partner, but one of the co-ordinators, Angela, had assured her that there were plenty of willing dance partners available. She also told Bella that the emphasis of the evening was not always on dance proficiency but on positive social interaction and having a good time.

Bella had bitten the bullet and gone along to her first class, enjoying herself immensely. She had danced most of the night and nobody seemed to mind that she didn't really know what she was doing most of the time. As the night progressed, she picked up a few of the basic combinations of the quickstep, which really got her heart racing. She spent most of the night laughing and apologising to her dance partners for her clumsiness, but realised that it had been a long time since she had enjoyed herself so much in the company of strangers.

After the first dance social, a small group of men and women, some couples and some singles organised to go out for coffee and dessert. On a whim, Bella decided to join them and it had become a regular occurrence since. These nights out became a highlight of her week.

Bella also began to teach remedial English classes at the local community centre. The pay was minimal but seeing as she only had to herself to support and no other work lined up for the summer, she took the job. She spent four days a week teaching small groups of adults who had managed to slip through the cracks in the education system. She covered basic reading and writing skills as part of a government program to increase the literacy skills of the long term unemployed.

Bella found this job particularly challenging. It was a very different experience to teaching younger children and at times it was down right difficult. As always though, she found a couple of people to whom she could really relate, and who, despite their histories, really wanted to learn and achieve. This made each trying day just a little bit better.

These activities helped to pass the time during her summer break. They also gave her time to balance her life and do many things that she regularly put off during the school year. She cleaned out boxes in the garage and tossed heaps of things that she hadn't bothered to unpack after her move over four years ago. The whole summer was a turning point for Bella – a chance to get rid of the old and embrace the new. It was an experience she realised that she was enjoying and embraced it wholeheartedly.

******************

The four tourists had spent nearly two weeks travelling north from Sydney, stopping at a number of picturesque coastal towns en route before reaching the tourist mecca of the Gold Coast on Queensland's south coast. They had heard so much about the Gold Coast on their travels north and had believed it was the place to be, but they were disappointed when they finally got there. Sure, it was a great tourist destination and had a number of theme parks and tourist spots, but they had experienced so much beautiful scenery on the trip north to this point that the whole city theme of the area seemed out of character with the rest of their journey. After only a couple of days they moved on again to the Queensland capital, Brisbane.

There were a number of caravan parks in and around the city suburbs and it didn't take them long to find one that suited their needs. They only planned on staying a couple of days before moving off again but they really needed to take care of some of the more mundane aspects of a driving holiday – laundry being one of them. The caravan park had a laundry room so their first evening was spent washing as much clothing as they could find and hanging it out on the communal washing lines to dry.

Sammy was struggling with this aspect of their holiday. She was not averse to doing her laundry but the fact that her fashion sense was reduced to wearing what was clean and easily accessible rather than fashionable, added insult to injury. On the other hand, the boys didn't seem to care what they wore, or how often they wore it, so much so that on more than one occasion, Sammy refused to go out with them unless they found something cleaner or less familiar to wear.

Brisbane was situated in the zone known as the sub-tropics. The days were warm, even though it was winter and while the nights were cool, they weren't really cold. The four of them visited the area known as South Bank. Brisbane was situated on and around the Brisbane River, and right in the middle of the city, along the southern bank of the river, was a man-made inner city beach. Complete with white sand and lifesavers on patrol, these man-made pools looked exactly like the beaches they had seen on their travels except that the river and the city were right next door. Walking along the boardwalk, they watched as people swam, families picnicked and office workers exercised their way through a lunch break.

Dan and Cassie had, in recent weeks, begun to demonstrate their growing attachment to each other. There were slight touches when they thought they weren't being watched and brief whispers to each other when they thought they couldn't be overheard. Dan couldn't help the tight feeling in his stomach he got when Cassie came and stood close by him, or when she touched his arm gently to get his attention when they were sightseeing. Cassie also couldn't help the breath that seemed to catch in her throat every time Dan leant closer to her to tell her something or the smile that came to her lips as she watched him laugh out loud at something funny that had transpired.

At the same time, Dan and Cassie were both very conscious that they were travelling as part of a foursome and were also very wary of becoming too demonstrative in front of Chris and Sammy, despite their growing attraction to each other. They weren't fooling anyone. One night as the boys cooked on a BBQ in the van park - the night before they planned to leave Brisbane and head further north - Chris had a quiet word with Dan while the girls were trying to put together a salad out of their limited supplies.

"So, Dan. What's going on between you and Cass then?" Chris asked is his usual upfront style.

Dan looked carefully at Chris, trying to gauge his motivation before responding.

"Look mate, it's as obvious as hell to both Sammy and I that you two have a thing going, and to be quite frank with you, it is driving us nuts that you two won't just come out in the open and get it on already."

"What?" asked Dan, a little taken aback. Up to this point, he and Cassie had done little more than the occasional holding of hands and slow dancing at some pubs and clubs. While Dan was sure that his feelings for Cassie were developing into something much more than just a passing crush, he thought he had been very circumspect in his behaviour.

"Ah, come on, it's as obvious as hell that you really like her, and blind Freddy could see that she's got something for you, too. I just don't get why you don't do something about it, that's all."

Dan took his time turning the steaks on the BBQ before looking up to answer Chris.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Ye-ah!"

"And Sammy has picked up on it?"

"She might be blonde, but she's not blind, you dumbass."

Dan looked at Chris closely while taking a swig on his beer.

"I don't know, Chris. I wasn't looking for some kind of holiday romance."

"Is that what you think this is then?" asked Chris intuitively.

Dan didn't respond. He just took another sip of his beer and his silence confirmed what Chris had suspected. "I didn't think so. You don't do anything by halves, do ya?"

Dan just shrugged his shoulders and focused his eyes back on the BBQ.

"Don't let me or Sammy stop you from taking things forward with Cassie, mate," Chris added, trying to help Dan feel more at ease. "We both picked up that something was brewing before we even left Sydney. She's a grown up, you're a grown up. Let nature take its course if that's what you want."

"It's a bit more complicated for me than that, Chris."

Chris looked at Dan seriously. The fact that Dan used his name twice without abbreviation or nickname meant that this conversation was important to him.

"How so?" he asked, genuinely trying to understand what his friend was getting at.

Dan paused a fraction before replying quietly, "I just don't want to take advantage of the situation that's all." He looked Chris in the eyes and held his gaze for a moment before he returned to flipping the steaks and the moment was apparently over just as quickly as it had appeared. Chris wasn't sure what had happened to cause the change.

"I'll leave it up to you then, mate," he said, "but it's all good from my end. Don't let me or Sammy be the reason you don't make thing happen with your girl." And with that, Chris turned and made his way back towards the two campers that were parked side by side. "Hey girls, have you got that salad ready yet? Dan's just about charcoaled the steaks!"

* * *

The next morning as they were preparing to leave Brisbane, they began to pack up their campers ready to head off north towards the Sunshine Coast on the next leg of their journey. Everything was as it had been over the past two weeks. Cassie and Sammy were tidying their van and Chris and Dan were throwing everything haphazardly into theirs.

Dan hadn't done anything as a result of his brief chat with Chris about his feelings for Cassie. That little chat had only served to heighten Dan's awareness of his own confusion and self-doubt. He had spent most of the night tossing and turning as he thought about the implications for all concerned if he pursued a relationship with Cassie and he was more than a little tired and cranky from lack of sleep.

Dan knew his feelings for Cassie were becoming stronger with each passing day and that it was becoming almost impossible for him to stop himself from acting on them. He would find he wanted to reach out to touch her, or hold her hand, only to check himself just in time.

As a group, they only had five, maybe six weeks at most left of their trip. The girls, coincidently, were scheduled to leave a couple of days before the boys and Dan was only too aware that Cassie literally lived on the other side of the country from him. What hope had he of maintaining a relationship with her once their holiday was over? How would he and Cassie becoming more than just friends impact on what was left of their holiday?

Chris reckoned that he and Sammy were both aware that something was "up" between the two of them and that he was OK with it if Dan wanted to take things further. But again, Dan worried about how the dynamics of the group would change if Chris and Sammy were left as the 'odd couple' – the couple forced to spend more and more time together because the other pair had paired off. Dan's concerns, however, didn't do anything to dampen the pull he felt towards Cassie and he was pretty sure that she was interested in him too. By the time they were underway and on the road, Dan's mood hadn't brightened and he was decidedly grouchy.

"What the fuck is up your ass this morning? Have you got PMS or something? Cause if you have, you're in the wrong bloody van," Chris challenged Dan as they headed out of Brisbane driving towards the Bruce Highway. "You're being one hell of a grumpy bastard this morning, that's for sure."

Dan casually looked in the side view mirror as he drove along. "Nothing. Nothing's up," Dan replied, playing dumb.

"My point precisely, smart ass. _Something is_ up and you're not doing a damn thing about it."

Dan shot Chris a blackened look as he continued to drive.

"Don't look at me like that, and you need to take a left up here," Chris pointed as he continued to talk. "I just don't get what all the fuss is over. You like her. She likes you. Do something about it."

"It's just not that simple."

"So you've already said. I just don't get why it's not."

Dan indicated and turned left where Chris had told him to, and then checked behind him again to see that the girls had done the same.

"Spill, Dan. You've got an hour and bit til our next stop and I want fun Dan back on the trip. This moody bastard is really starting to piss me off."

Dan remained silent for a few minutes, concentrating on the road in front of him. Finally he responded to Chris' statement.

"I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all."

"No shit, Sherlock. Geez." Chris took a deep slow breath and looked steadily at his friend. "Dan," he started. "I'm not really into all this D & M shit between guys. It's not me, you know that. But if you really need to get something off your chest then now's your chance. Otherwise, just suck it up and get on with enjoying the holiday. Cassie's here. You're here. Just relax and go with the flow. I can't believe I'm about to say this …but…oh, fuck it… If it's meant to be, it will be. Shit, I can't believe you've just made me say that. Fuck. This is not how I operate," he said as he shook his head then turned to look out the window.

Dan smiled and then looked across at his friend, his discomfort obvious. Dan realised that Chris had probably never before been so openly philosophical with a male friend.

"Ok." Dan said. "OK."

"OK?" Chris responded. "That's it? That's all the fuck you're going to give me? Just an OK?"

"Taking your advice here buddy and sucking it up."

"Shit, if I thought it was going to be that easy, I wouldn't have given you the 'meant to be' crap."

"Crap?"

"Right, well, not crap then. How about Bullshit?"

"Bullshit?"

"OH, for fucks sake Dan, shut up. Go back to being all emo guy. He was pissing me a hell of a lot less than the whole 'echo man' version you're bringing out now."

Dan laughed, and after a few moments Chris did too. The mood of the morning was almost all but forgotten.

They arrived at Coolum Beach around lunchtime. There was a great van park right on the beach and they booked in and set up camp. Coolum was about twenty minutes or so south of Noosa, a well known holiday spot, surrounded by national park with great walking tracks. It had even better shopping on Hastings Street, according to the local tour guide that Sammy had picked up from the front desk of the van park on arrival. Without too much fuss, the girls dragged the boys off to Hastings Street, with the promise of coffee and ice-cream for their efforts. As the girls spent time browsing the shops, the boys set off to trek the six kilometre return walk to the Noosa Headland, through the National Park. They agreed to meet back up in a couple of hours for coffee and the promised ice-cream. There was no way they were going to be relegated to bag handlers.

That night, back in Coolum, they ordered take out fish and chips from the shop across the road and bought a six-pack of beer from the bottle shop next door. They walked down to the beach and ate a leisurely dinner on the sand in front of the surf club.

Dan got up early the next morning and decided to go for a run along the beach. He tried to move around quietly and laughed to himself that it really wasn't necessary as Chris' snoring was likely to drown out any sound within a two mile radius.

He pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt along with his joggers and tried to quietly creep out of the camper. He headed off down the sand path towards the beach, stopping for a quick nature call on the way.

Cassie woke to hear movement outside the van. She pulled back the small curtain covering the window near her bed and watched Dan walk over towards the beach. She lay back down in her bed and tried to go back to sleep, but her mind was on the young man she had just seen. Throwing caution to the wind, she got up and pulled on some clothes. Dan, she'd noted, had his running gear on. Well, she wouldn't be going for a run but a walk on the beach would be good, and for a walk she wouldn't need to search around for her runners. She grabbed her toiletries bag and then she too tried to creep quietly out of her camper without waking Sammy. She really felt like she wanted time alone with her thoughts this morning. She didn't want company, or to have to explain where she was going. After a brief stop to the amenities block, she went back to the camper and left her toiletries bag on the small table near their door, and then headed off down the same track she had seen Dan disappearing fifteen minutes before.

Cassie walked out onto the open beach and looked to the north. She was amazed by the number of people out and about at this time of the morning, walking, running and even cycling along the beach. There were people with dogs on leashes everywhere. She decided to head north as there was a small headland only a little distance away to the south and she wouldn't get far before she would have to turn around.

Cassie realised that the beach was a wonderful place to be this time of the morning, and after walking for about ten minutes or so, she decided just to sit in the sandhills above the high water mark and watch the waves. The sun was reflecting brilliantly on the water and as she watched the waves and the people strolling past, her mind drifted back to Dan and her growing feelings towards him. She was sure that her feelings were being returned, and she was also aware that the way he made her feel was different to anything she had ever experienced before.

Cassie had had a few boyfriends in her twenty years. One or two during high school, another couple during college, but there was no one at the moment, and for that she was grateful. She'd never even considered meeting someone on her summer holiday while travelling with Sammy, let alone a fellow American, and definitely not someone who could make her smile just with a simple glance in her direction or a quietly whispered word in her ear. Cassie hugged her knees to her chest as she tried to work out exactly what it was about Dan that got her heart racing. One thing she did know was that if she had the chance, she would like to work it out.

Lost in thought as she was, looking out over the ocean, Cassie failed to notice the jogger who was gradually coming closer and closer from the north. It wasn't until the noise of a barking dog startled her out of her reverie that she looked towards the sound of the noise and noticed a man bending down to pat a dog and chat briefly to the owner before moving off again. On closer inspection, she realised it was Dan, and her heart rate sped up as she noticed he had his shirt off as he ran. Without thinking, she stood up and shaded her eyes with her hand trying to get a better view. She started to walk down towards the water, effectively walking directly into his path as he ran along parallel to the surf.

Dan had used his run to try and clear his head. He was becoming frustrated with his constant ramblings and self-reflections over his feelings towards Cassie. On his run, he'd realised that while Chris and been the one to ask the questions, it wasn't Chris he wanted to give the answers to. It was Cassie. He'd realised that he needed to speak to her. She was the one he wanted to and needed to, talk with. He wasn't prepared to deny it any longer and the rhythmic pounding of his feet on the sand had helped him work through his emotions and understand what he had to do. He was lost deep in thought until the dog near him had barked as he'd approached. He'd stopped to chat to the dog's owner briefly before patting the dog and moving off again. As he ran back towards the van park, he wondered how long it would be before he would have the chance to talk with Cassie privately. Now that he'd made up his mind, he wanted to speak with her sooner, rather than later. He was completely taken aback then, a few moments later, when he looked up to see her twenty yards or so in front, standing on the beach and looking directly at him. He slowed to a walk almost immediately, his heart hammering even faster than it had been while he was on his run.

Cassie couldn't help herself. She just stood there and stared at Dan as he walked towards her. His shirt was tucked into the back of his shorts. His body glistened in the sunlight, a thin layer of sweat from his run coating his upper body and arms. His hair stood out in all directions and his chest expanded with each breath he sucked in as he brought his breathing back under control. He looked divine, and she was lost for words.

"Cass," Dan said as he neared her.

"Hi," she said. It was all she could muster in reply. She just stood there, mutely, looking at him, her eyes raking over his appearance and she felt her throat tighten, making any more conversation impossible at this point. She looked into his eyes, only to see a million questions form there as he looked just as intently back at her.

Without uttering another word, Dan closed the distance between them. He reached up to hold her face in his hands and he leant in to kiss her gently on the lips.

Cassie's breath caught in her chest as the warmth of his lips touched hers. Dan pulled back just slightly enough to let her breathe and waited for a second before closing the small space that had formed between them and kissing her again. This time, she didn't freeze. She responded, putting her own arms around his waist and reaching her up with her hands towards his massive shoulders, pulling him to her. It was all the response Dan needed. He moved his hands from her face to enclose her in a tight hug, deepening his kiss at the same time. They stood there like that, lost in time and space for a few moments, before Dan broke the kiss once more and leaned back slightly.

"Cass," he said again looking into her eyes. "I want to talk with you."

"Mmm. OK," she replied. Once again, she felt like she'd been rendered mute.

"Cass, honey. Will you walk with me?"

"Yeah."

They let go of each other only for Dan to grab her hand tightly in his as they moved off south along the beach.

"I've got so much I want to be able to say to you, but I just don't know where to start."

"The beginning's usually a good place don't you think?" Cassie responded, trying to regain her ability to speak. Her mind was still mush from that sizzling first kiss she and Dan had just shared moments ago.

"The beginning. Where's that exactly? Is that the first time I realised that my stomach clenched every time I looked at you? Or would that be the first time I heard you laugh and realised that it was the most wonderful sound I had ever heard?"

Cassie looked up at Dan and smiled at him. Happiness shone in her eyes as she realised by listening to Dan's words, that he did in fact feel the same about her that she felt towards him.

"Or was it the first time that I realised your smile could make mine appear without any thought?" Dan asked as he looked intently at her.

They strolled along the beach in companionable silence, holding hands and headed towards a set of rocks at the bottom of the headland. When they reached them, Dan helped Cassie to sit down on one, and then took up a position on a rock in front of her, putting on his shirt as the breeze started to cool him down after his run. Cassie smiled to herself thinking that she may now be able to focus a little better on the conversation that Dan wanted to have.

"What's so funny?" Dan asked when he noticed her smile.

"Nothing. Just trying to collect my thoughts, that's all. My head's in a bit of a spin."

Dan nodded at her words and then took a deep breath, trying to work out how to begin.

"Cass, I've been a bit all over the place lately. I feel like there's this _thing_ between us, and I can't get a handle on it. I keep thinking that maybe you feel it too, and I'm hoping to hell that I am right. Am I?"

"I feel it too, Dan. God, when you held my hand back there, it felt like I was like jelly or something. I can't explain it well either," she finished as Dan looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Just when I held your hand, huh?"

"Well, not _just_ when you held my hand."

"Thank God for that. I don't think that I could be happy with just holding your hand all the time."

Cassie laughed. "Mmm. That would really suck."

Dan smiled in response and then he took a deep breath. The words were forming; he just had to get them out.

"I wasn't planning on this. I wasn't expecting anything like it to tell you the truth. It's taken me a bit by surprise, and well, I've spent most of the last two weeks coming up with every reason under the sun not to kiss you like I just did. My head has been all over the place, and Chris has been giving me a bloody hard time about it all."

"You too huh? Sammy's been riding me pretty hard too."

"Really?" Dan replied, giving her a quizzical look, his tone suggesting that her words held some kind of double meaning.

"Oh Shit. You know what I meant. Don't look at me like that," she said as he hid her face in her hands.

"Ok, I'm sorry. Don't hide your face. I won't make fun, I promise," he responded as he gently pulled her hands away from her face. He smiled warmly at her when she looked up at him, and she was grateful she was sitting down because she didn't know if her legs would have kept her upright at that moment had she been standing.

"Look, like I said, Chris has been asking me what the problem is, and I haven't been able to answer him. And then, this morning on my run, I realised it wasn't Chris I wanted to give the answers to. It was you. So let me just try and get this out, OK? I doubt I'll be making much sense, but I've got to try and explain where my head is."

Cassie nodded encouragingly in response, but kept quiet, giving Dan permission to go ahead.

Dan told Cassie about his reflections and concerns while trying to decide if he wanted to pursue a relationship with her. He also explained how on his run, he worked out that, really, he was already too far gone not to want to try and see if they could work something out, together.

Cassie listened attentively, not interrupting him as he shared his thoughts. It surprised her to find just how much thought and contemplation Dan had given this. He was definitely an introspective person, a deep thinker, and she realised that this quite nature was one of the things that drew her to him.

"The thing is, Cassie, there is something else from my past that has had a big impact on me trying to work through all of this."

"Do you feel like telling me what that is?"

He nodded his head silently in response.

"Cass," Dan said, taking another big deep breath before continuing, "I am the product of a holiday romance. Well not even a holiday romance so much as a one night stand."

Cassie stayed quiet, but tried to let Dan know with her eyes that it was ok for him to keep going with his story, to let him know that he could trust her, because this obviously wasn't easy for him to tell.

"My Mom had just finished high school and went away with friends for ten days on a post high school trip. On the last night of the holiday, she'd too much to drink. She ended up sleeping with some guy, and she ended up pregnant with me." Dan found the words difficult to say, and he was quick to want to tell Cassie more so that she understood more about his mother and their relationship. "My Mom's a great lady, Cass. She wasn't like that. She didn't sleep around. She just made one mistake, and that resulted in me."

"Dan, you don't possibly think that you could be a _mistake_ do you?"

"No, no, nothing like that. My Mom is a fantastic woman but it has been really hard on her. You have no idea how much she has had to sacrifice over the years, and how that one mistake so many years ago has cost her so much of her time and her dreams. Cassie, I don't want to be involved in a holiday romance. The whole idea holds just too much of a bitter history for me. I don't know my father. I have no idea who he is. And I don't want to be the guy who starts something that he has no hope of maintaining and then just leaves when he's done. That's not me. That's not who I want to be. I _won't_ be that guy, Cass," he implored looking down, unable to keep eye contact with her any longer.

There, he'd said it; the one thing that he'd buried deep down inside of him, that he didn't want to have to air to anyone. Anyone, it turns out, other than Cassie. He needed her to understand just how much this was affecting him. He wanted her to understand why he was so hesitant, and that it had nothing to do with what he felt for her.

Cassie sat silently for a moment or two as she watched the emotions spill out across Dan's beautiful features. She watched as the pain of what he just shared with her bubbled to the surface.

Silently, she placed her hand under his chin and lifted his gaze to meet hers once again.

"You won't, Dan. You're not that person. You're decent and kind and strong. I don't know what the future holds for either of us, but I would rather have this time together now than miss out on it completely. I promise you, we can take this as slow and as carefully as we want. I'd rather be with you than without you on this trip. So, whatever it takes. Whatever you need to have this be OK for you is good with me. Baby steps, Dan, as long as we take them together. Would you be OK with that?"

Dan looked in awe at this woman in front of him. He reached up with his hands to take hers from under his chin. He did the most gallant thing he could think of. He held her hand in between his and kissed her fingertips before bringing it up to rest them on his cheek. He looked at her in the eyes and held her gaze. "I am so OK with that Cass. So OK with it."

"Me too, Dan. Together. From this point. Small steps together."

"Yeah," he said as he smiled back at her. "Would a small step mean that I could kiss you again, right now then?"

"I think that would be just fine," she smiled in response, and Dan then leant in to kiss her gently before laughing out loud as he tumbled forward off the rock when he lost his balance.

"Oh that was smooth, Casanova. Real smooth," Cassie joked as she joined in his laughter.

* * *

Bella was eating her breakfast at her kitchen table one fine sunny morning during the third week of her summer vacation when she heard her cell chime from over on the bench. She got up from the table and put her empty cereal bowl in the sink before wandering over to pick it up. She opened it up and noticed she had an email from Dan, with photos attached, so she went to her computer to turn it on so she could get a better look at the pictures on a larger screen. While she waited for it to boot up, she went and poured herself another coffee and then made her way back to the computer desk in the lounge room. Bella used technology for her work, but she'd never bothered to get herself a laptop model. She made do with the tower version for the time being, but thought that when she next needed to upgrade, she would probably get a laptop one; not that she really understood what she needed to buy, it was all gobble-dee-gook to her. That was definitely a thing she needed Dan's help for.

Bella sat down in front of her computer and logged on, then opened her email account. Sure enough, there sat a new email from Dan. She clicked on it, and up came his message, with a link to the attachments she assumed were his newest photos. Bella read through the message.

_Hi Mom,_

_Have been having a great time. We are in Queensland now and making our way slowly north towards the Reef. We hope to be there by this time next week. Hervey Bay is our next stop. We've booked tickets on a Whale Watching cruise for the day after tomorrow. It's pretty early in the whale watching season, but hopefully we might be able to see some._

_It's t-shirt and shorts weather here. Slightly cooler at night time, but these Queenslanders really don't know what a cold winter is I think. The vans are making the trip OK. Ours in a little slower than the girls' one, but then again, they are paying a small fortune for theirs. I have included a couple of photos of our van – it is unique, that might be the best way to describe it. You can see for yourself. Chris and the girls say "hi". Cassie and Sam are embarrassed by our Wicked Camper. I think they deliberately speed up on the high ways to avoid being associated with us, but we pull up next to them at the caravan parks so we get our own back. _

_We are currently in Noosa and checking out the local area. We hired a small boat yesterday (don't worry, I could run faster than it moved!) and we spent a couple of hours on the Noosa River and got totally lost around the waterways in a place called Noosa Sound. That also sounds bad, but it wasn't. All the channels eventually lead back to the start, so we made it out fine. Boy, there are some fantastic homes in there._

_The budget is going ok, but I think I am going to have to dip into the funds that Nan and Pop left me. There's no rush, but when you get the chance, could you transfer some money across for me from that account? $1000 should see me through._

_Hope you are enjoying the start of your holiday. Will text you again soon._

_Love U_

_Dan_

_xxx_

Bella clicked on the attachment and scrolled through half a dozen photos. She gasped aloud when she read the slogan painted across the back of the boy's van. No wonder the girls didn't want to be seen next to that!

As Bella continued to look through the photos, she noticed something a little different about them. Dan had his arm around Cassie in two of them. Chris, too she noticed, had his arm draped around Sammy in one shot as well, but it just looked different somehow – more casual. She looked more closely at the photos, and noticed the way Cassie and Dan seemed to lean into each other in them. They looked, intimate – there was no other word for it.

"Oh, Dan," Bella thought aloud to herself.

Bella sat back in her chair and continued to look at the photos while she sipped at her coffee. Her mind wandered. She was filled with concern for her son. She'd become aware a week or so ago, that the two American friends Dan had first alluded to in a text message, were girls. This had made her concerned, but Dan had been quick to reassure her when she had texted him briefly that they were all just friends who'd decided to travel together. He had sent her a photo of the two girls at some beach in northern New South Wales and had told her who was who. He was insistent that there was no romance involved. These new photos now suggested something different altogether.

She leaned forward in her chair and took another closer look at one of the photos. Obviously, they had gotten someone else to take this particular shot, because all four of them were in it. She looked at Dan's face and his relaxed posture. The way he was leaning back against a railing, with Cassie leaning up against him, her arms wrapped around his waist and her head on his chest. Dan's arm was draped casually around her shoulder, his head resting on top of hers. She compared Dan to Chris. Chris was relaxed too, holding Sammy, but it was done differently to Dan. Chris had one arm around Sammy's shoulder, but both of her arms were folded across the front of her body. She leaned back against the railing, rather than into Chris as such. Yes. There was a definite difference there.

Bella sat there in front of the computer for a while longer, staring at these pictures of her son's holiday, lost in thought. She was worried for her son, her own past haunting her. She tried to push the niggling thoughts away but they wouldn't stay buried. She closed her eyes and prayed they were being responsible. He was a 21 year old man after all, but not all 21 year olds were responsible. Bella had firsthand experience with that and she was looking with concern at her son, the evidence of her own irresponsibility from so many years before.

* * *

A/N:

If you want to see what the Wicked Camper that Dan and Chris hired actually looks like, pop over to the thread on for The Ties that Bind, by Yesyov. Pics and Robporn included free of charge!!!

Leave a review…. Won't you…?

Oh, and Edward is coming into this fic…. eventually… there are some significant plot points that have to happen before he can make his grand entrance….


	7. Chapter 7

Hi Everyone

Thanks to those of you stopping by to read this latest chapter ::waves hello::

I don't own Twilight, or the canon characters... blah blah blah….

Shout out to Sunfeathers for her continued assistance.

To four very special ladies – Grendel ,Sandy, Lalina and Autumn – these incredible women support, encourage and mentor me, and for that, I am truly grateful and realise that I am one hell of a lucky girl. Thank you bbs.

Ok… so the trip Down Under draws to a close; Bella gets social and life moves on regardless.

Read and enjoy…

**Chapter 7 – Goodbyes and Hellos **

Letting go of Cassie and watching as she walked arm in arm with Sammy through the doors and into the customs area of Sydney International Airport was the hardest thing Dan had ever done in his 21 and a half years. As Dan sat quietly in the back of Dean's mother's car driving away from the airport, his mind was a mix of reflections and recollections brought on by Cassie's departure.

He'd experienced loss in his life before. The loss of his grandparents, six months apart, when he was 15 had hit him hard. That loss, while difficult, he now realized was very different to the kind of loss he experienced this afternoon as he said goodbye to his girl. He felt for the first time in his life, something he had only read about; a sense of loss where it felt like a part of your very soul was being slowly and agonizingly torn from your body, piece by piece.

For five weeks Dan and Cassie had been together; each sharing almost every minute of their daily lives with the other. They were a couple, they were friends, they were confidants, they were companions; but they weren't lovers – not yet. In time, Dan hoped with all his heart, that he would be able to be that for her, too.

When he'd finally expressed his deepest thoughts to her that first time on the beach at Coolum, Dan had hoped and prayed that Cassie would be able understand his concerns and appreciate the mixed emotions that lay behind them. He knew then and there that he wouldn't consummate his feelings for her while on this trip. He was resolute. He wouldn't be _that guy_; his father had been _that guy_ and he wouldn't do that to Cassie.

So, together with Chris and Sammy, they had set out again as they usually did in their camper vans: the boys in their Wicked Camper and the girls in their "luxury villa" as Sammy had taken to calling it. They had left Coolum Beach to travel north to Hervey Bay. They'd gone whale watching and took a day tour to Fraser Island. A day later they drove on to Rockhampton and Yeppoon. There they took yet another day trip via boat out to some of the closer islands in the Whitsunday Group.

Finally, after travelling still further north and making it all the way to Cairns and The Reef over the next two weeks, all four of the travellers realized that their Aussie Adventure would soon be drawing to a close. This brought a tinge of sadness to the tight knit little group. While Dan and Cassie had coupled together, Chris and Sammy had remained happily independent from the other, but that didn't mean that they all hadn't developed close friendships. Leaving Australia and returning home in less than a week's time would prove to be difficult for all of them.

Dan and Cassie had relished the time they were together and they were seldom separated from the other. Photo after photo showed the two of them entwined together in each other's arms – on the decks of boats, at lookouts and on beaches. They would spend time quietly exchanging their life stories and sharing details about themselves with the other that served to deepen their growing bond and emotional intimacy.

They had shared physical intimacy, too, but trying to find the opportunity to do so discretely was difficult living in such close quarters with Chris and Sammy. Sometimes they would sit up late into the night and into the early morning hours after the others had gone to bed. They would also go for early morning walks on the beaches or walking tracks where they could steal moments alone, uninterrupted. There were times when they were alone that Dan would seriously consider giving in to the physical need he felt for this woman; times when it was extremely difficult to remember his decision, and his reasons behind it. There were times when the feel of her skin on his, the taste of her mouth or the sounds she made as she revelled in their contact would cause him to become completely lost in the intensity of the moment. His overwhelming desire for her would begin to cloud his better judgement.

It was during these times, when Dan was struggling the most to retain his composure, that Cassie would be the stronger of the two and would gently pull away. It was Cassie who would quietly whisper in his ear and remind him of their shared decision and the promises they'd each made to the other throughout their time together.

Dan's phone chimed, bringing him out of his reverie and back to reality. It was in his hand right where it had been since he'd settled himself into the backseat of the car at the airport. The phone was warm to touch. He'd been holding it waiting for Cassie's text to let him know that they had made it through customs without problems and were waiting inside the departure lounge prior to flight being called.

Dan opened the text and read it to himself.

_Hi babe. All's good here. No problems. Just bought a coffee. Sammy 's the duty free for some last minute bargains. Will text you again when we land Stateside. Smile for me. I'll send you one right back. We'll be back on the same continent soon enough. _

Dan re-read the message to himself a couple of more times before he became aware that Chris was speaking to him from the front seat.

"Hey, wake up sunshine. Is that from the girls?" Chris asked him, looking over his shoulder to Dan.

"Mmm," replied Dan, still a little distracted. "They've made it through Customs and are in the departure lounge. All's good."

Chris turned back to the front and exchanged a knowing look with Dean before speaking again.

"So what's the flavour of the afternoon then, Dan? Pub or club?"

"Hmm? Oh, I don't really care," Dan replied noncommittally. "You guys decide. I'll be happy doing whatever."

"So you've said. How about the Epping Club, then? It's close to home. We can leave the car there and walk to and from," Dean suggested.

"Yeah. Fine. That'd be great. Thanks." However, the way Dan intoned that reply sounded like it he would expect it to be anything but.

******************

The night before, the five friends had gone out to a nightclub in the city for a last hurrah. They'd stayed out late drinking and dancing before the boys walked the girls back to their hotel sometime around 2am. Dan had been so tempted to stay. He hadn't let go of Cassie all night, aside from her brief trips to the Ladies' room, but the other two boys had other ideas. After sharing a passionate kiss in the foyer of the hotel - with some accompanying wolf whistling and cat calls from Chris and Dean - Dan had been dragged away from Cassie and back out into the night. Similarly, Sammy had pulled Cassie towards the lifts and taken her upstairs despite Cassie's protests.

"You'll thank me for this in the morning," Chris had told Dan as they staggered with him toward the taxi rank.

"I somehow doubt that, you bastard," Dan had replied.

When Dan had woken up in the loft at Dean's place a few hours later, he'd been instantly filled with an intense sense of loneliness and growled into the pillows.

"Shut the fuck up, that's not helping my head," Chris had moaned as he rolled over onto his back and pulled his own pillow over his head.

"Well if you'd fucking let me stay with Cassie last night, you wouldn't have to be listening to it would you, you fucker?" Dan had responded harshly.

Chris had lay there quietly for a moment or two and had tried hopelessly to get the pain in his head under control before speaking. He'd lifted the pillow and spoken to Dan in a much calmer tone. "You'd have hated yourself more if you had stayed Dan. We did you a favour, remember?"

"Some fucking favour."

"Mate, you've had blue balls this entire damn trip. One more night isn't going to make any difference." Both boys were suffering, albeit slightly differently. Chris had one huge hang over, but Dan was realizing that today was the day he would have to put Cassie on a plane and send her back home, away from him.

"Mind your own fucking business."

"Oh, that's lovely that is. Your business has been my business most of this trip. I knew that you and Cassie weren't horizontally tangoing. And I also knew that you weren't planning to, though God knows why. I still don't get that."

"Shut up," Dan had growled, but then a few moments later, a little more quietly, he'd asked, "How did you know?"

"Sammy."

Dan had lifted his head from the pillow and looked over the Chris' unmoving figure.

"Sammy?"

Having lifted the pillow entirely away from his face and then sitting up slightly, Chris had looked over to Dan and with the sound of pity in his voice said, "Shit Dan. Girls talk about this stuff, you know? Cassie told Sammy, and Sammy told me."

"Great!"

"Well, it's not like I asked to know or anything. I think she was missing her girlie time with her cousin and I was available. I don't know. But yeah, Sammy told me about you two and your little standoff."

"When?"

"Hervey Bay."

"What?" Dan had replied, incredulously.

Chris had just shrugged and lay back down, putting the pillow under his head this time while staring at the ceiling. They'd been in Hervey Bay just days after Dan and Cassie's chat on the beach. Dan had been shocked as realisation set in that both Chris and Sammy were aware of the outcome of that particular conversation for most of the trip.

"Like I said," Chris had continued, "I don't get it. You're no virgin. Geez, you dated Susan for what, two years? You must have…" he left his sentence unfinished as he fished for information.

"Ye-ah, " Dan responded slowly.

"Well, then, what's so different this time round?"

Dan remained quiet. He hadn't known what to say, or how to say it. It had been hard enough the first time talking to Cassie.

The question remained unanswered for quite some time, both boys lost in thought. Finally Dan had responded.

"My Mom got pregnant with me, from a one night stand, on a holiday." There. It was out. Again.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"But this wouldn't have been a one night stand, though," Chris pointed out logically. "You two have been together most of the trip."

"Yes, but I couldn't offer her anything, only the end of a holiday."

"So?"

"I wouldn't do that to her. Not deliberately."

"So what… you'll only have sex with someone if you see it going somewhere?"

"No. That's not it. Not quite."

"You don't see this as going anywhere with Cassie, is that it?"

"No. Yes. I do. Oh shit. I just don't know. She's got to go back to school. I've got to find a job. She's on the West Coast. I'm on the East Coast. How can you build a relationship like that?"

Chris paused before answering, "I don't know, but neither will you, if you don't give it a go."

Dan had then looked across at his friend who returned his gaze. Chris sighed and rolled his eyes, before he focused again on the ceiling.

"Yeah I don't know what the fuck has happened to me either," Chris said. "I've never felt comfortable talking about this shit. Maybe Sammy's incessant jabbering has muddled my brain. Maybe some long hidden female hormone has kicked in. I don't know. But I do know this," he said, returning to level his eyes to Dan's, "you've fallen for her big time man. _Big time_. No matter what you've been telling yourself about this, it's as obvious as a bit of morning wood. This isn't going to end with her getting on that plane today. You've been kidding yourself if you've been thinking that this one was going to go away in a hurry."

"I haven't been kidding myself, Chris. I've known this one was something different. I've known it from the very beginning. That's part of the problem. I need to get my shit together before I can give her what she deserves."

"And what is it that she deserves?"

"Me. All of me, warts and all."

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Dan had just shrugged his shoulders in response before finally replying. "I've got things to find out; things to clear up."

"Like what?"

Dan took a deep breath before continuing. "Like whom my father is."

"Where the hell has that one come from?"

"You're not the only one whose head has been a bit addled this vacation," Dan had told Chris as he glanced over in his direction.

Chris had said nothing in response to that. He'd just looked at Dan questioningly, and waited for him to continue.

Dan had looked back toward the ceiling before he'd continued to speak.

"I've watched Dean with Greg. I've listened to Cassie with her Dad on the phone. I've seen you with yours, before. It's never bothered me really; until now. I mean, sure, every once in a while I would think about it but I always had Charlie, my Grandfather," he'd clarified glancing briefly at Chris to explain the relationship. "After he died, Mom and I just kind of got on with it all. We'd always been really close but it changed after my grandparents died; my Nan died 6 months after my Pop. Mom and I, well, we had each other and we relied on that." He'd been quiet for a few moments then as he'd organized his thoughts before continuing. "This holiday, has brought everything to a head for me. Meeting Cassie – that was something I didn't expect. And well, I've struggled, and I mean, really struggled between what I've wanted to do and who I want to be. I don't want to be the guy my father was – the guy who slept with a girl while she was drunk and then didn't give two shits about her afterwards."

"Do you know that's how it was?"

"I know my Mom realised she'd made one hell of a mistake and got out of there."

"What do you know about him? Have you ever asked your mom about him?"

"Yeah. Sure, and she's always been really upfront with me about it all. Why the hell do you think I've had such a hard time struggling with everything that's been happening between Cassie and me?"

Chris had just nodded. Again, he'd waited for Dan to say more.

"He was a band member. Keyboards and guitar apparently. Tall, dark haired. Not too much else really."

"Well, I always kind of gathered you didn't get your height from your mother."

Dan had laughed quietly at that. "Mmm. The thing is, for me, now, after this holiday, I've got more questions than what I have answers for. I kind-a feel like I need to get the balance back, you know?"

"Where will you start? How will you find out?" Chris had enquired.

"I'll have to go back to the beginning I suppose. I'll have to talk to Mom some more."

The two boys had lay there quietly in their beds for a while, their conversation over.

They'd only moved when Dan's phone had rung.

"Hello?" he'd answered.

"Are you boys up and about yet? We've got to leave for the airport in two hours. Get your sorry asses out of bed and get over here, or we'll go in a cab without you."

Dan had looked over at Chris, the volume of Sammy's voice crossing easily over the distance between them.

"We're on it. Don't worry."

"And tell that good for nothing Chris he better have matching clothes on today. We're going to the airport for god's sake, not to some damn pub on a beach."

Chris had rolled his eyes but had then pulled himself out of bed.

"No need. It's already done."

"Good, see you in an hour or we'll get a cab. Get moving!"

"Sure thing, Sam."

* * *

The phone rang as Bella was wiping down the kitchen bench after breakfast.

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Steve Chambers, from dancing."

"Steve. Hi, how are you? This is a pleasant surprise," Bella said as she rinsed the cloth in the sink and draped it over the tap to dry.

"Good to know. I'm phoning to see if you're busy this evening. I know it's last minute but I have a few people from the dance group coming over tonight for drinks and takeout. I'm no cook but I thought a night of chit chat without dancing might be fun. What about it? Are you free?"

Steve had spoken in a rush, without much of a pause anywhere. Bella wondered if making the call had made him nervous.

Bella had continued with her dance classes throughout the summer and she had really enjoyed them. Each week, as had become the habit, a group of them would go out for coffee and dessert after the class. She found she was looking forward to this just as much as the dancing. They were an eclectic group – all different backgrounds and interests, but they got on extremely well. They had all exchanged phone numbers at different times over the summer, and Bella had had lunch dates with some of the women during that time.

"Actually, I am. That's sounds lovely and thank you for thinking to include me. I need a time and venue though. I don't know where you live."

"That, I can solve." Steve gave Bella his address and then a time. They were meeting around 7pm.

"What would you like me to bring?" Bella asked.

"Just yourself. Everything else is taken care of."

"I can't not bring something, Steve. Cake? Chocolates maybe?"

"Bella, truly, everything is taken care of. Really," Steve replied. "You were my last call," he added sheepishly.

"Oh. Saving the best til last were you?" she laughed in response. "No worries, I'll just have to think of something myself then. Leave it with me."

"I'm glad you can make it," he smiled into the telephone.

"I'm looking forward to it. See you tonight then."

"Bye Bella. I'll see you tonight." Steve hung up the phone and took his first deep breath since she'd picked up the phone. He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck and then smiled again to himself. He was glad, really glad.

* * *

On their last night in Sydney, Dan and Chris wanted to take Julie, Greg and the family out to dinner at a local restaurant, to thank them for their hospitality. Julie, however, had other ideas. When the boys had suggested dinner to her, Julie had countered with a suggestion of her own and it had turned out to be a great night.

Julie had suggested going bowling. Dan and Chris were quite surprised by her suggestion until Dean told them that she had been a league bowler when she was younger and that she liked to pull out all the stops every once in a while to remind the boys in the family that she could beat them at one sport at least.

So, to keep their hostess happy, the six of them including Greg and Ady - much to her horror at being forced to spend a night ten pin bowling with her parents - hit the bowling alley at Top Ryde. Dean was right. Julie _was_ good. They boys laughed at the way Greg struggled to maintain his man-pride despite losing consistently to his wife. Ady settled into the evening as well, appeased by getting to spend time with Dan and Chris under the watchful eye of her father, of course.

After Julie had thoroughly beaten them all into submission, they left the bowling alley in two cars. The boys, with Ady in tow, stopped to collect pizzas on the way home. Once there, the evening didn't die down. Julie set up the Pictionary game and Ady just wanted to die on the spot.

"Oh God, Mum. Pictionary? Do we have to be the daggiest people on the planet? Bowling, pizza _and _Pictionary? I wish the earth would just open up now and swallow me whole!" she said, putting her hands over her face and shaking her head from side to side.

"Ady, don't even bother tonight, love. Your Mum's on a bowling high, there's no stopping her. Just grab yourself some pizza and get ready to play. You can team up with your brother."

"Oh, Dad, no way," Dean exclaimed in horror. "Not on your life. I am so not playing with Ady."

"And I'm not being Mum's partner either Dad," Ady said. "You're the one who married her so you can deal with her drawing, or whatever the hell it is that she does."

"Ady! Language!"

"Dad, she can't draw for peanuts. I am not partnering Mum!"

"Fine, I'll take your mother, you can team up with one of the boys."

"Thank God!"

"Ady! Language!"

"I'll partner you Ady. Dan can go with Dean."

"You're on!" she replied gratefully. "Hang on. Can you draw?"

Chris just teased her by batting his eyelashes at her before turning around and heading back into the kitchen to collect more pizza and another beer.

"Can you draw?" she repeated, a little louder this time while following him into the kitchen.

"Poor Chris," Greg laughed. "He won't know what's hit him. Ady might pretend to be all indignant about having to play but she is as competitive as her mother is at bowling once the game gets underway," he explained to Dan.

"Why the hell do you think I didn't want to partner her again," Dean said just before he took another swig from his beer. "I am still recovering from the last time I played with her and that was last year when I was home on break."

"What happened?" asked Dan innocently.

"No doubt you'll see. Just be glad Chris felt like being gallant!"

An hour later, a rather loud discussion was going on between Ady and Chris.

"You call that a ballerina? That's not a ballerina. That's a stick figure with a squiggle on it."

"That's a girl in a tutu," Chris said, pointing for emphasis.

"Very F.U.N.N.Y. _Mr Squiggle_. That is _so_ not a girl in a tutu," Ady fought back. She too was pointing at the offending drawing. "I thought you said you could draw?"

"You asked me if I could draw, I just never answered you directly."

"You implied it."

"I did not."

"Who the hell is _Mr Squiggle?"_ Dan asked, looking at Julie.

"Well, Picasso, I'll certainly keep that in mind for the next one."

"Mr Squiggle was a wooden puppet that used to have his own TV show. He would draw sketches. The kids used to watch old re-runs when they were little," Julie answered as she stayed well clear of the other conversation.

"Seriously? Huh."

Chris and Ady were sitting over on the couch, staring daggers at each other.

Dan tried, unsuccessfully, to lighten the mood. "Hey, Ady, go easy. It does kind-a look like a girl in a tutu if you turn it this way and squint your eyes like this," he said, demonstrating. He'd taken the picture and turned it to the right as he squeezed his eyes together.

Chris was laughing at his friend so he was distracted and didn't see it coming. Ady curled up her little fist and punched Chris in the shoulder as hard as she could.

"And we have lift off!" yelled Dean throwing both his hands in the air. "Told ya you would see it," he finished as he winked at Dan, laughing aloud.

"Ow!"

"Ady!"

"You hit me!"

"You deserved it."

"Girl. Tu-tu. There." Chris said haltingly as he yet again tapped the offending picture on each word for emphasis.

"Rein it in there, little one, before I have to protect Chris' ego physically myself," warned Greg as he looked at his daughter. "Ladies don't hit."

"I think this model must be faulty then," Chris quipped as he rubbed his upper arm.

"On to the next one," said Julie overly brightly as she tried to regain control of the game. "Ady, apologise to Chris. Chris, suck it up; she's only 17 after all. Don't be such a girl."

The whole table erupted in laughter after Julie's comment and finally returned to playing the game, even if Chris did try to sit just that little bit further away from Ady than he'd previously.

*****************

At the airport the next day, Dean parked the car in the short-term parking lot and walked with his two friends into the airport terminal.

"So, here we are yet again, hey?" he asked, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, mate," Chris replied. "Do you want to have a beer? One for the road, so to speak?"

"Let's get you checked in and your baggage taken care of, and then we'll hit the bar for one last belt."

They boys lined up, passports in hand, back packs between their feet. They shuffled along in the line to the ticketing desks talking quietly amongst themselves.

Once their bags had disappeared from sight, the three young men walked to the bar located inside the terminal, and Dean shouted them a drink each. As they drank their last beer together, an uneasy silence started to fall on the trio as each realised that this would be their last drink together.

"So, Dean. What's the plan? Any more overseas travel for you in the future?" Dan asked.

"Maybe, in a few years. I've got to get some work experience under my belt first. I'd like to travel through Europe a bit but I'll just have to see how it all falls into place in the next couple of years. My grandmother was British, so I've got a little bit of time up my sleeve and have a little more leniency available when it comes to travel and work restrictions in the UK than most."

"Bonus about being a colonial, huh?" Chris joked. He was always the one with the ready made wit.

"Hmm. I suppose so. Still, we have to look forward to having old Charlie boy as king one day, so I suspect having that happen could actually be the one thing that would make Aussie's sever their ties to old Mother England."

"Yeah, well when that guy stands up, I am surprised you lot can see down here at all. His ears are so bloody big that I think most Aussies would believe you were having a solar eclipse."

Dan snorted into the foam on the top of his beer. This was something else he was going to miss. He, Chris and Dean had been friends for the last four years. They'd shared some great times together. It was sad that they would now have to be relayed via email and internet exchanges from now on.

"Well, guys. Hate to love you and leave you but if you think you can get through to customs on your own, I'll head off. The parking rates here are a killer."

Chris and Dan downed the last of their beers and stood up with Dean.

"Well mate," Dan said, trying once to use his terribly horrible Australian accent, "It's been a great ride. Thanks for everything."

"You too, Dan," Dean said giving him a 'man-hug' accompanied by a slap on the back. "And please don't talk like that at home. Your bad imitation of us Aussies will make people think we're all wankers."

"Too late, mate," Chris answered, giving Dean a similar style of man-hug he'd just shared with Dan. "They've already met you!"

"Right then, you smug pair of bastards, find your own way to the customs check in. Take it easy, hey?"

They exchanged briefly worded farewells before Dean turned and strolled out of the bar area of the terminal and into the crowd.

"So, that's that then. Shit," Chris said, looking a little saddened. "Want another drink?"

"Yeah. How much Aussie money have you got left on you?"

"Enough for a drink or two I reckon."

"Good. Do you think that Julie will get the flowers off the front veranda before nightfall?" Dan asked.

"Hope so, but at least the note you left her on the fridge telling her to look out there should steer her in the right direction."

"Who on earth enters the house by the back door all the time? I mean really, why have a front door if you don't use it?" Dan questioned.

"Mmmm. Aussie's do have some strange customs. At least, this bunch of Aussie's sure seem to," Chris said as he rubbed his arms. "Shit, even the girls know how to fight."

Dan laughed out loud to that one. "Come on Chrissy," he said, putting his arm around Chris' shoulders, "let's get you a drinky poo then… shall we?"

Within two hours, the boys were seated on their plane, headphones on as the aircraft taxied down the runway. They looked out the window, each remembering different things about their trip Down Under and knowing that it would be a very long time, if ever, before they returned. As the plane lifted off into the air, they looked out over the sights they had first seen upon arriving in the country. They recognised some of the landmarks themselves though this time and continued to watch until they went through the cloud bank.

"Goodbye Australia. Hello America," Chris said, settling into his chair and flicking through the TV stations already.

"Goodbye Australia, Hello America," Dan repeated, but his thoughts were already elsewhere. He was thinking about how long it would be before he could call Cassie and speak to her; to hear her voice and listen to the sound of her breathing through the phone instead of having to be happy with sending ill-timed text messages. He was looking forward to hearing the sound of her voice very much.

* * *

The boys arrived back at Boston Airport after catching their connecting flight in New York. Since they'd already cleared customs checks there, it was only a brief time before they stepped out into the arrivals hall to be greeted by their families. Chris' Mom and Dad and his two younger brothers were waiting for him. Bella was standing with them. She had been talking to Chris' mom before one of Chris' brothers had spotted them in the crowd.

"Here they come."

"Where?"

"Over there."

"I can't see them."

"That's cause you're short."

"Don't be rude to your Mother."

"What? She is short."

"I'm not too short that I can't cut you down a peg or two"

"Hey, Chris! Here bud."

"Tell your mother you're sorry."

"What? Oh yeah. Right. Sorry Mom."

"Chris, love, how are you?" his Mom asked, rushing forward to give him a big hug.

"A lot of good that did me. She didn't even hear it."

"Mom," Dan said warmly, dropping his bag at his feet and giving her a huge bear like hug, literally lifting her off the ground. He gently placed her back on her feet and kissed the top of her head.

"Hi Dan. How are you?" Bella asked standing back but not yet letting go of her son. "You look great. A little tired, but great."

"It's not real easy to sleep on these long haul flights, Mom," he answered, "but I'm good. Really good."

"And Mr Smarty pants, I did so hear it, and you are very lucky you are in the presence of company now," Chris' mother addressed one of her younger sons.

The chaos of the arrival that accompanied family and friends was being replayed in small scenes all around the arrival's hall. It was a place filled with much love and happiness and it was a great way to be welcomed home.

Dan and Bella said goodbye to Chris and his family at the parking lot. Dan and Chris man hugged and back slapped each other briefly, exchanging only a few short words before getting into their respective cars with their families. After spending so much time with each other these last three months, they both realised it was going to feel a little weird to be without their regular smart-alecky remarks and easy conversation.

"So, Mom. How have you been?" Dan asked as they pulled out of the parking station.

"Good, love. I've been pretty busy and now that we are getting ready to start the new school year I've got plenty to prepare, so everything is back to normal."

"Anything earth-shattering happen while I've been away?"

"Nothing that can't wait for a later time, Dan. So tell me," she said, pausing for emphasis. "How's Cassie?"

"Geez, Mom. Don't beat around the bush there."

"I don't intend to. So, how is she?"

"I don't know to tell you the truth. I've been travelling for the last day and a bit so I haven't heard from her since the day before we left Sydney. She was busy settling in back home from what she told me."

"Well, that's good. So then, when do you plan to call her?"

"Mom!" Dan exclaimed. "I thought you'd want to talk to me and find out everything I've been up to since I've been gone."

"What do you think I'm doing?" she asked him pointedly, giving him a smile before focusing her eyes back on the traffic in front of her. "You and Cassie seemed to have something pretty special going on, if the pictures you emailed me are any indication."

Dan didn't know quite what to say to his mother with this line of questioning. It wasn't what he'd expected. He remained quiet, looking out the window of the car. Eventually, he looked across to his mother who had remained silent, giving him time to process.

"She's special, Mom."

"I'd gathered that much," she responded. After a brief hesitation she asked, "How special?"

"Very special."

Bella nodded her head in response. She waited again, hoping he would offer her something more rather than her having to question him any further.

"When she left to fly home, it felt like someone was ripping me in two."

Bella again looked over towards her son. The pain he had experienced was evident in the features of his handsome face as he looked at her.

"I really like her, Mom."

"I can tell."

Silence filled the car again. Dan looked back out the window. Bella decided that it was now or never. She needed her mind put at rest. She'd been worrying over this long enough.

"Dan?" she asked tentatively. She knew she was about to step over the mark but she didn't care. He would just have to deal with it.

Dan looked at her wordlessly.

"Were you careful?"

Dan closed his eyes in response to the question his mother had asked him. He nodded his head. "Yes, Mom. We were _more than_ careful."

Bella looked at her son questioningly before her eyes widened with surprise and she breathed out, letting an almost silent "Oh!" escape from her lips as she did.

"I couldn't do that Mom. I wouldn't do that to her."

Bella nodded again and smiled briefly at her son, offering him sympathy in her gaze. "That can't have been easy for you then," she offered. She needed to close the gap she had just created by overstepping the mark into her son's private life.

"No, Mom. It wasn't easy. In fact, it was almost bloody impossible."

"But it wasn't impossible." It was a statement, not a question.

"No, it wasn't impossible."

Silence fell between them yet again_. Fix this Bella_, she thought to herself. _Fix this_. This wasn't how Bella had pictured the drive home with Dan in the car. She had thought of all the things she had wanted it to be… laughter, smiles, stories… none of that was happening now.

"Dan," Bella started.

"What, Mom?" he answered shortly, looking directly at her. He saw the hurt and confusion in her eyes and he immediately regretted his tone. "I'm sorry, Mom. What is it?"

"Do you think you did the right thing? With Cassie I mean? Waiting?"

Dan sighed heavily. "Yes, I do. It was hard, damn hard. But, yes, I think I did the right thing. I don't regret it, but I do have regrets about it though, if that makes sense." He paused momentarily before continuing. "I'm not like him, Mom."

"Like who, Dan?"

"My father."

Bella's sharp intake of breath was audible to Dan from the passenger's seat.

"Mom, in a couple of days, I'd like to talk to you about some things."

Bella nodded her head as she drove, her grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Alright, love. What things?" she asked, glancing at him once more.

"Just things. I've got questions, Mom. I'd like to try and find the answers."

This whole conversation had turned in a way that Bella hadn't predicted. She felt her emotions start to get the better of her and she sucked in some big deep breaths to calm her nerves. They drove in silence for a moment, Bella coming to terms with Dan's new curiosity. She'd always known that this conversation was going to happen sooner or later, but still, it took her by surprise.

"It's OK, Mom," Dan said, reaching across to put his hand on his mother's shoulder as she drove.

Bella just nodded her head in response, not trusting herself to speak.

"I love you, Mom."

Bella gulped in one more breath of air before responding to Dan. "I love you too, Dan. Now, rest up. You must be exhausted from the flight. Doze off, I'm fine to drive. I'll wake you when we get home."

Dan closed his eyes, but he didn't sleep. He wanted to give his mother the space she seemed so desperately to need right now. The conversation they just had wasn't what he had expected to have when she picked him up from the airport. He was a little shocked that she'd been so direct with him about his relationship with Cassie. It had obviously been playing on her mind this summer. He wondered exactly how much. Still, it was good to get it out in the open. It gave him the opening he needed to raise the issue of the talk he wanted to have with her. He kept his eyes closed, thinking of Cassie and his mother, and even the mystery man who was his father. He drifted off to sleep, eventually, Cassie being the last thought through his mind.

* * *

Dan had woken from his sleep in the car, just as Bella was pulling into the driveway.

"Ah, you're awake sleepy head," Bella said warmly, smiling at her son.

"Yeah," Dan said stretching in the front seat before reaching down to unclip his seat belt. He looked over towards his mother and returned her smile. "Mom, you're not upset are you? About me wanting to talk to you?" He left the words 'my father' out of the question deliberately. He regretted the pain he'd caused her on the drive home.

"No, love. I'm not upset. I always knew the day would come when you would want to know more. I just don't know what else there is for me to tell you. I really don't," Bella responded honestly, raising her hand to rub it gently against her grown son's cheek.

"That's OK, Mom, I just need to talk again about it all; that's all."

"Alright, love, whenever you're ready. Just give me some warning next time, OK?"

"Shall do, Mom," he responded sincerely. "Thanks for coming to pick me up."

"I will always be here for you Dan. Whenever, wherever. I'll always be here if you need me."

*******************

Dan had been home just an hour when the phone rang.

"I'm in here, Mom. I'll get it!" Dan called from the kitchen. He walked out to the hall and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Ah. Hello. Hi. You must be Dan? Yeah. Of course. Um. I'm Steve. I'm a friend of your mother's. How was your flight home?"

"Fine thanks." Dan replied, his mind racing. Clearly he hadn't been the only one expanding his horizons this summer. This was going to be interesting.

"Right. Yes. Well, ah. Is Bella home by any chance? I'd just like a quick word."

"MOM?" yelled Dan, as he walked through the kitchen and out towards the backyard.

"Dan, really," admonished Bella when he met her with the phone.

Dan put a hand over the mouthpiece before he said anything else.

"You have a phone call," Dan told her as she walked towards him. "It's _Stee-ve_. Who's _Stee-ve_, Mom?"

"Give me that phone, Dan," Bella said authoritatively, holding out her hand.

"Have you been seeing someone?" Dan asked, not relinquishing the phone.

"Dan, the phone?" Bella tried again, using her best teacher voice with raised eyebrows for extra effect.

"You've gone and gotten yourself a boyfriend!" Dan responded in a sing-song like lilt.

"Dan, I love you, but give me the phone," Bella warned her son.

Dan removed his hand from covering the mouthpiece, and spoke pleasantly into the phone. "Steve, I've just found her. She was in the backyard, smelling the flowers with a goofy smile on her face. Here she is," he said, and with an exaggerated wink, handed the phone over to a gobsmacked Bella.

Bella took the phone from Dan and spoke quietly into it, turning away from him at the same time.

"Steve. Hi."

Bella listened to the conversation on the other end of the phone, nodding her head just slightly.

"Yes, yes, that was Dan," she said, looking back over her shoulder towards him and giving him the kind of dirty look only a mother could perfect. "We got home about an hour ago."

She listened again before responding.

"It must be jetlag… that's the only excuse I can come up with," she said as she walked further out into the back garden to get some privacy.

Dan watched his mother for a moment or two as she strolled around the garden, indeed touching the odd flower here and there as she smiled and chatted to Steve.

He turned and went back inside the house and over to the kitchen to grab himself a beer from the fridge, grateful that Bella had thought to stock up for his homecoming. He took the top off the beer and chugged down a couple of quick mouthfuls. It seemed like he wasn't the only one to have stories to tell from the summer vacation.

* * *

**OK: another chapter down…. We are so much closer to finding out about Dan's father… Dan needs to be one step ahead of us though… so come back next time to find out what he does….**

**Leave a review…. Please???**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello everyone...**

**The title of this chapter explains it all.**

**Thanks to my wonderful mentors. You give me reason to smile.**

**And to those of you reading. You give me reason to work harder to make it something better.**

**Chapter 8 Let's Talk**

Dan glanced at the caller ID on his cell phone and smiled as he picked it up from the desk where he was working in front of his computer.

"Hi, gorgeous," Dan said, the warmth in his voice clearly evident to the caller on the other end. "Isn't it a bit early in the morning for you?"

"Oh, I don't know. I kind of got used to early mornings while we were away. It was one of the few times we could manage to get some alone time. Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Dan replied wistfully, "so, not that much has changed then, huh?"

"Oh, I think a lot has changed, unfortunately," Cassie replied, sounding melancholy.

A few moments of silence filled the line before Dan responded.

"Yeah. It has."

Forcing herself to sound brighter than she actually felt, Cassie asked, "So, what are you doing?"

"Right now? I'm sitting at the computer printing out the last of a dozen resumes and job applications, and then I'm going to head off into town."

"What's in town?"

"Some work, hopefully."

"I'm not quite following you."

Dan had been home only a couple of days but already the practical side of his nature was taking over. He needed to find a job. He needed an income and had to get out and about to find one_. _

_No one is going to pay you decent money to sit around on your ass in this world, son_, Charlie would tell him. _The world doesn't owe you anything. Hard work is the price we pay for success._

Dan smiled as he recalled that bit of advice from his grandfather. He'd been a tough old bugger who'd believed in hard work and 100% effort in everything you did. He'd passed that ethic onto his grandson.

"I'm trying to get a foot in the door of the business world but I have to earn a crust in the meantime so I'm going back to the music store where I worked through college to see if they need someone on a part-time or temp basis. Then, I thought I'd drop into a few bars around town and see if they have anything going."

"Do you really want to work in a bar?"

"Want to? No, not especially, but it would be shift work so if I can pull night shifts, it gives me the day to keep looking for and applying for other jobs. Plus, the money would come in handy."

"How far away are you looking for work?"

"At this stage, for office stuff, I'm trying to keep it within a reasonable distance from home: Boston, Manchester, almost anywhere in New England, basically. But for the part-time tide me over stuff, I'm keeping it local."

"New York might have more work available."

"Yeah, I know. I've been looking at it, but I don't know if I have enough funds behind me to set up in the city just yet. I've been living in a dorm for the last four years and have just spent all my money on the trip so I'm a bit cashed strapped until I get a regular enough income again. Besides, I don't actually own anything; not even a vegetable peeler."

"Mmm," Cassie thought as she listened to his words carefully. Dan's day-to-day life was so different from hers and, if she were honest about it, it was one of many things that drew her to him.

"So...what are you wearing?" she asked, changing the topic altogether.

"Excuse me?" he asked, laughing. "Where did that come from?"

"It may be early morning here but my brain is more than alert already. If you're going job hunting, you must be dressed nicely. What are you wearing?"

"Black pants, white button down shirt, long black tie."

"Shoes?"

"And socks," he responded, wondering where this was going.

"Commando then?"

"No," he laughed again. "Where did _that_ come from?"

"Well, you didn't mention them."

"They were included in the package."

"Not an optional extra then?"

He laughed some more. "No."

"Hmmm. Just wondering."

"I can hear your smile down the phone line, Cass."

"I am smiling. You've painted a nice picture for me."

"I'm glad." Dan paused for a moment before asking sheepishly, "What are you wearing?"

"Me? Well, I'm in bed. So I have on a baggy T with mauve lace panties."

"Awwh," Dan groaned into the phone and rubbed his face with his free hand. "Talk about mental images."

Cassie smiled devilishly at his response. "Glad I could repay the favour."

Dan could hear her teasing tone – there was no mistaking it.

"Girl, just sitting here at my desk listening to you has given me a bloody hard-on and I have to walk downstairs in a moment."

"I see you still use some Aussie phrases, huh?" Cassie noted. "Is your Mom still home?" Cassie realized that if Dan was worried about walking downstairs with a bulge in his pants, Bella must still be there.

"Yeah. She's going into school in a little while to sort out her classroom but I think she's still pottering around in the kitchen."

There was a brief pause as both Cassie and Dan collected their thoughts.

"So, what are you going to do with your day then?" Dan asked her, trying to get back the lighter side of their conversation.

"I've got some stuff to gather together for college. Then I thought I might catch a movie."

"Ah, the life of a college student."

"Yes. The real world is yet to bite me on the butt. I still have some free time."

"So do I, but in my case, that's a problem."

"You'll find work soon, Dan. I have faith in you. And us," she added quietly.

Dan heard her last comment and the ache that had been building in his guts bubbled to the surface.

"Cass…" Dan responded with a sigh, closing his eyes and leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk in front of him. "This sucks."

"Yeah, it kinda does," Cassie agreed.

"I didn't think it would be quite this hard, you know?" Dan responded, thinking of how difficult it was for him adjusting to not being able to see her every day and having to rely on phone calls and emails.

Now it was Cassie's turn to sound incredulous. "Excuse me?" she asked laughing, recalling his words from earlier in their conversation.

Dan was still consumed by his thoughts. "Being away from you. Having to just hear your voice, but not being able to see you or touch you."

"Oh!"

Dan caught the tone in her voice. "Why? What did you think I …?" he started to ask, thinking back over what he had just said, pausing when he realised how she had taken his words. "Cassandra Ann Whitlock! What would your mother think of your dirty little mind?" he questioned.

"My Mom, would probably think 'you go girl' or something to that effect. My Dad, on the other hand, would probably want to lock me up in my room and give me a Barbie to play with."

"God, I miss you, Cass."

"I know, babes. Me too."

More silence.

"You'd better get on with your morning then," Cassie said as she played with the top of the comforter on her bed. "You know what they say about that early bird."

"This bird would rather be flying his way over to you right about now."

"In time. You need a job first."

"I know."

"Call me later?"

"Shall do. Later tonight, my time? After dinner your time?"

"I'll keep my phone nearby. Let me know how you get on, OK?"

"Will do. I miss you, Cass."

"I miss you too, Dan. Good luck."

"Thanks, gorgeous. Bye."

"Bye," Cassie said, as she closed her phone and rolled over in bed to look out her window. Distance wasn't sparing her feelings. She felt more drawn to Dan than ever. She wondered about whomever it was who first coined the phrase, _Distance makes the heart grow fonder_. They must have had a Dan in their life.

*****************

Returning home after a day of door knocking and job hunting, Dan was feeling rather pleased with his achievements.

He let himself in the front door and called out with a casual, "Hi Mom. I'm home."

"In the kitchen, love."

Dan sauntered into the kitchen to see his mother putting a pasta bake into the oven.

"That's going to taste good," he commented as he moved across to the fridge and grabbed himself a beer. "Would you like a drink of anything, Mom?" he stopped to ask before he closed the fridge door.

"No love, I've got my wine already. How did the job hunting go?" she asked as she closed the oven door and put the oven mitts back on the kitchen counter.

"Pretty good, really." Dan said, twisting off the cap of the beer and tossing it into the bin as he continued. "I went back to the music store and spoke with Jan. She was only too happy to have me back on board – I should be able to pick up a couple of shifts a week. Apparently, my replacement over the holidays didn't work out too well and they let her go last week."

"A case of being in the right place at the right time, huh?"

"I'll say. She was thrilled to think that they wouldn't have to find someone and train them right away."

"You did tell them that you would be looking for a more permanent position somewhere else, didn't you?"

"Mmm," he responded, nodding as he swallowed a sip of his beer, elaborating when he had finished. "Yeah, she was OK with that. She knew that I'd be looking to find something more after college but I am kind of filling a hole for them at the moment and it will give them time to look for someone else and train them. So it's a win-win."

"What about the rest of your day?"

"I spent it going from clubs to bars around town, talking to bar managers and trying to get a foot in the door. I don't have any experience behind a bar and that was a problem for some of them, but I told them I didn't care what they had available, I'd give it a go, if they'd let me."

"So, any luck?"

"Not yet. I left my contact details with a few of them who said they would keep me in mind if anything came along, and I got contact names and numbers to follow up with people. I'm happy enough for now. What about you? How did you go at school today?"

"Moving classrooms is a pain in the proverbial."

Dan smiled at his mother's reluctance to use bad language. You could always tell when Bella was getting very upset over something because sometimes she would let one slip when she was angry, but most of the time she was very careful with her swearing.

"At the end of last school year, I got everything moved over to the new classroom, but it was all just sitting there in boxes, crates and piles and today was cleanup day."

"Did you get it all finished? I could give you a hand tomorrow if you like?"

Dan was leaning up against the kitchen bench, his long legs stretched out in front of him. His height was even more obvious in the small kitchen at his mother's place. Bella moved past him and swatted him out of the way as she went to get some servers from the drawer behind him.

"No, love. Thanks anyway. I made a good dent in it today and really tomorrow, I just have to finish sorting through all the bits'n'pieces of paperwork I've got sitting in files, and that's a one person job. I'll just have to wade through it all. When's your first shift at the music store?"

"Thursday," he answered, before taking another swig of his beer. "Jan has some family thing happening and she wants me to work a whole day. Like I said, she was thrilled that I came by today."

"Definitely a win-win, then."

Silence settled in the kitchen as Bella busied herself at the sink, sipping her wine as she went.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we have that chat we spoke about the other day?"

"What, now?"

"Maybe later tonight? After dinner?"

"Dan, I've got dancing tonight. That's why I've got dinner in the oven early. I know this is important to you, but can we possibly do it tomorrow night instead?"

"Yeah, of course. Sorry. I'd forgotten about dancing night. Still can't believe you've gotten into dancing. How's Stee-ve by the way?"

"Steve is fine, thank you. And it would be nice if you stopped saying his name like that. I keep hearing it in my head over and over when other people say his name."

"OK. Deal. Is he picking you up tonight then?"

"No. We're meeting at the hall. He lives in the other direction."

"Oh."

"Now after class, we go out for coffee and cake each week, so I won't be home 'til late."

Dan laughed out loud and Bella looked at him questioningly.

"Mom. You've gotta admit, this is funny. Role reversal? You, telling me when you'll be home?"

"I just didn't want you to worry, that's all."

"Like I said, role reversal. You're a big girl, Mom. I'm sure you can take care of yourself." He paused briefly, before continuing. "Besides, if you can't, I am sure Stee-ve will only be too happy to help out," Dan finished with a wink.

Bella picked up a tea towel and swatted her son with it.

"Dan Swan. So help me god. I'm your mother. I don't want to hear things like that from my son. There is a limit you know."

"This is weird. My mother dating. There are some things a son just can't be prepared for."

"You can't expect me to be a nun forever, you know."

"So have you and Steve – you know?" he asked, accompanied by raised eyebrows.

"That, my dear son, is none of your business. Grown woman here. Remember? End of discussion."

"Well, you seemed to think it was alright to question my and Cassie's relationship the other day. Tit-for-tat?"

"No. Not tit-for-tat. Mother," she said, pointing to herself for emphasis, "son," she said, pointing towards Dan.

"Adult," Dan said pointing to himself. "Adult" he repeated, pointing to Bella. "Level pegging."

"Never. Mother trumps son at all times. And don't you forget it."

Dan smiled at his mother's response, using the time to take yet another sip of his beer, finishing it off in the process.

"Well, if that's the case and this conversation is over, I'll go and change clothes before dinner."

"Fine," Bella responded. Her single worded response reinforcing her attitude towards their conversation.

"OK," Dan answered before putting his beer bottle in the recycling bin and turning to head out of the kitchen and up the stairs. "Mom?" he asked, looking around before he left the room. "You're having fun with him, aren't you? He's making you happy?"

Bella's face relaxed as she looked at her son, the clipped tones from the moments before forgotten. "Yes, Dan. I'm having fun. And yes, he is making me smile."

"Good. You deserve that."

Dan turned and made his was up the stairs towards his room. His Mom did deserve happiness and company after all this time; even if it did feel weird.

* * *

After dinner that night, Bella went to meet up with Steve and join in her dance class. Dan cleaned up the dishes and then settled in for a night in front of the television watching_ Bones_ and _CSI_. He dozed off on the couch and only woke after Bella arrived home around 11pm and ruffled his hair in greeting.

"You're still up, I see," she said smiling as she went and sat down opposite him in the single lounge chair.

Dan rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and swung his legs off the lounge to move into a sitting position. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Sorta. What time is it?"

"11ish."

"How was dancing?"

"Great. We started the foxtrot tonight. That's hard."

"Do you have the same partner each week?"

"I do, now."

Dan nodded his head in response. Of course she would have the same partner each week. Duh.

"So, how is Steve?"

"He's good."

"Do I get to meet him sometime?"

"If you want to. Are you up for that?"

Dan shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah. I don't see why not."

"Will you be nice?"

"Why wouldn't I be nice?"

This time it was Bella's time to shrug her shoulders in response, remaining quiet.

Dan looked at his mother seriously from his position on the lounge.

"Mom. You're seeing him and he's making you happy. If it's good for you, it's good for me. I promise I won't chase him away… unless you want me to, that is."

"No. No chasing necessary. Alright, I'll arrange for him to come over on Friday night before we go to the movies."

"You're going to the movies Friday night?"

"Yes, Dan. We're going to the movies Friday night. Mother here. Big girl. I don't need to check my social calendar with you, remember?"

"This is taking quite some getting used to, Mom."

"Understood. But this is good for me."

"I can see that and I'm happy for you. Really."

"Speaking of happy, have you called Cassie today?"

"I spoke with her early this morning, but I'm due to call her back tonight. In fact, I should be able to do that now. They'd be finished dinner."

"When am I going to meet this young lady of yours?"

"Mom, she lives on the West Coast. I don't even know when I am going to see her next. I don't even know if this is going to last."

"Do you want it to?"

Dan thought for a moment before responding.

"My feelings haven't changed. In fact, if anything, being separated makes them feel even more intense. Having to rely on phone calls and emails just sucks." He looked up at his mother and noticed her wince at his phrasing. "Sorry, Mom."

"It's alright, love. I understand where you're coming from. Maybe you can plan to travel out to see her sometime soon."

"Great idea, but finances are a bit low at the moment. And she is just so far away – I would spend most of a weekend travelling to and from."

"Dan, if you want something hard enough and you're prepared to work for it, anything's possible. Don't let geography get in the way unless you're really not sure about it all…," Bella let that last sentence finish off slowly, giving Dan time to process.

"This is new ground for me."

"I get_ that_ more than you know."

Mother and son shared a conspiratorial smile.

"I suppose you do. Aren't we an interesting pair then?"

"Mmm. A Mother and Son dating duo. It's almost funny. I wonder if we need learner's permits?"

Bella eased herself up from the lounge chair and moved over to Dan, kissing him on the top of his head.

"Well love, I'm off to bed. You call your girl. Say hello to her from me. I would really like to meet her one day, even if it's just over the phone for now."

"I'll say hello for you and I'll work something out."

"Right-o. Night, Dan."

"Night, Mom."

Dan settled back into the lounge and took up position with his feet up on the coffee table in front of him. He took out his cell phone and called Cassie. They chatted for just over half an hour, never at a loss for words.

The next morning, Bella was up and underway before Dan even rose out of bed. He walked down to the kitchen to see a note left for him on the kitchen table.

_Dan – off to work. Will be back home around 4pm. We will have that chat tonight, as planned. See you then. Mom xx_

Dan moved over to the bench to pour himself a coffee from the machine that Bella had set up before she'd left for the day. As he sipped his morning wake up brew, he moved around the kitchen gathering things he would need for his breakfast. He stopped when he heard his cell ring from upstairs. Cursing under his breath, he ran up the stairs two at a time and into his bedroom trying to reach it before the phone stopped.

"Hello?" he said quickly.

"Hello. Is this Dan Swan?"

"Speaking."

"Dan, Ed Jeffery from Monty's here. You came in just yesterday looking for casual work."

"Sir. Yes, I did."

"Can you work this afternoon?"

"Yes. For sure."

"Great. It's only clearing tables and general cleaning duties but it's work if you want it."

"No problem. What time do you need me?"

"The shift starts at 4 o'clock, so come in at 3.30 to fill in the paperwork. Dress like you did yesterday. No tie needed though. We'll give you a work shirt when you get here. Closed in shoes."

"Right. Anything else?"

"No, that should do it for now. I'll tell you more, like hourly rate and that when you get here."

"That's fine."

"Dan, you struck me as a reliable fellow yesterday. Are you reliable?"

"Sir. Yes, I am."

"Good. The no-hoper who has let me down again today, well, let's just say, I rely on reliable."

"No problem, Mr Jeffery. I'll see you at 3.30 sharp."

"Good lad. See you then."

Dan ended the call and stood there stunned. Wow. He had a job to go to tonight. Wow. Then he remembered his mother's note from downstairs and the promise of the talk they were to have this evening. "Damn," he whispered under his breath.

He dialled his mother's cell phone and waited for her to pick up. He explained what had just happened and that he wouldn't be home this evening and probably wouldn't get in until pretty late after closing time.

Bella listened to her son carefully before wishing him good luck before finishing the call. She was relieved in one way. She was really dreading having to have this conversation with Dan. She knew it was coming and that it couldn't be avoided forever, but the thought of having to dredge up the past and its painful memories, wasn't something that she was looking forward to. Still, she knew it had to be done, but just not tonight, and for this she was grateful.

Dan spent the rest of his day looking through online employment search sites narrowing down possible positions and companies where he might be able to apply for work. At around 2p.m., he realized that he wouldn't be able to call Cassie tonight as he'd planned so he sent her a brief text message explaining what was going on and that he would talk to her in the morning. He already knew she wouldn't be available today. She was having a girlie day with her Mother with spa treatments and what not. He hoped she wouldn't be too upset.

By 3p.m. he'd showered and dressed and was preparing to head out the door when his phone chimed indicating he had a text message. It was from Cassie.

_Good luck. Work hard. Talk to you tomorrow. News to share then. Miss you. xx_

Dan smiled as he read the message. _My thoughts exactly_ he quickly typed back to her before hitting the send button before walking out of the house and shutting the front door behind him.

*****************

The rest of the week was a whirlwind of activity for Dan. He worked Tuesday and Wednesday nights at the club doing eight hour shifts. He then worked all of Thursday at the music store before heading over to the club for another four hour shift that evening. He was exhausted by the time he got home in the early hours of Friday morning.

Bella was fast asleep and after Dan let himself into the house, he went to rouse her briefly to let her know he was home before heading off to grab a quick shower. Working at the club kept him busy, but the smell was something he was finding hard to grow accustomed to. No matter how tired he was, he had to shower when he got home – he couldn't get the smell off him any other way.

He glanced at his cell phone before climbing into bed and noticed that he had several text messages from Cassie and one from his mom. He and Cassie had communicated purely by text messages over the last few days. Their timetables hadn't co-ordinated at all and he really missed her phone calls.

He laid in bed and read his messages while fighting sleep.

_Hi Babe. Hope you are holding up OK. Call me when you get in. Have good news to share._

_Am off to dancing. Will be home around 11pm again. See you then maybe?_

_Haven't heard from you. Don't you get breaks? Call me._

_It's late. Going to bed. Call me anyway. Miss hearing your voice._

He wanted to speak to Cassie and even though it would be 11.30p.m. over there, he hoped that she would still be up, waiting for his call.

He let the phone ring several times. Finally, a very sleepy Cassie answered.

"Hello?" she said, stifling a yawn in the process.

"Hi, gorgeous. Were you asleep?"

"Yeah. Mmm."

Dan could picture Cassie stretching slowly in bed as she answered him. _Damn_, he thought, what he wouldn't give to see that first hand.

"Sorry to wake you, hon."

"S'all right. I told you to call. I'm usually up anyway. I was just beat today."

"What did you get up to that made you so tired?" he asked as he stretched in on his bed, absentmindedly rubbing his chest with his fingertips as he spoke.

"I went to the beach today with some friends. Great weather. How was work?"

"Which one?" he asked.

"Good point. Both, I suppose."

"Music shop was fine. Steady enough flow of customers for most of the day. There are some good new releases out at the moment. I got to listen to most of them today. The club was busy. A few noisy guys caused some problems later on in the night and by the time we finished cleaning up, it was 1.30 this morning, my time. It's still yesterday where you are."

"It's today still for me, you are into tomorrow already."

"My mind is too tired to process all of that at the moment."

"Poor baby. Wish there was something I could do to make it better."

"Me, too. I have a few ideas though."

"You do?"

"Yes, but none of them work over distance, so we're back to square one."

"I've got some news that might cheer you up."

"That's right. Your text message said something about good news. So spill. What is it?"

"How would you feel if I told you I was going to be in New York, Labor Day weekend?"

Dan stopped trailing his fingers up and down his midline. He was alert suddenly. No thoughts of tiredness any more.

"New York? Labor Day weekend? Serious?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

"Do you think you could come down and visit?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah. Of course. Why?"

"Why do I want you to come and visit, or why am I going to be in New York?"

"The second one," Dan answered, his head still in a spin.

"Every year, on Labor Day weekend, we girls go away for a girlie weekend and the men go away for a boy's weekend. It's a family tradition."

"Why didn't you mention this before?"

"It's just never come up."

"But Cass, New York? I can be there in four hours or so. That is just so much closer than California. How come you didn't mention it? I've been trying to work out how the hell I was going to get to see you anytime soon and here you are coming to New York the weekend after next and you didn't even tell me about it?" He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice, but didn't succeed terribly well.

"Hang on a minute. Back up there, sonny boy. I only found out today."

"But you just said you do this every year."

"We go away every year, but never to the same place. This year, it just happens to be New York."

"Oh...OK...Sorry. I've got it now. Sorry, hon. I just miss you so much. I've been trying to work out when I was going to get to see you. I've been wracking my brain thinking about how and when and I couldn't come up with anytime before Thanksgiving."

"Wait. You'd come over here for Thanksgiving? Is that what you're suggesting?"

"If you'd have me. That's the best I could come up with."

"Of course, I'd have you, you idiot. But hang on a minute. What about your Mom? Won't she want Thanksgiving with you?"

"I haven't worked that out yet. But seriously, you would be OK with me coming to you for Thanksgiving?"

"Hell yes. I mean, you'd have to do the whole 'family thing', but other than that, we could have the whole four days together, so great."

"Four days less travel time," Dan corrected.

"There must be overnight flights aren't there? We're going over on overnight flights to New York."

"Right, yes. Back to New York. When do you arrive?"

"Mid morning on the Friday. We leave late Sunday afternoon."

"Oh, Cass. That is going to be so good."

"I know. I can't wait. I just screamed when Grandma, Mum and Auntie Rose told us where we were going."

"Sammy will be coming, too?"

"Yes. It's a girl's weekend, remember?"

"New York," Dan repeated processing that within seven days, Cassie would be only a few hours away.

"I think everyone kind-a got sick of my moping around so they thought New York would help solve the problem."

"Moping around, huh?" Dan asked, fishing for information.

"Yes and maybe, just maybe, the odd teary session late at night."

"Oh, Cass."

"All's good now. I have something tangible to look forward to."

"We both do."

"So will you be able to make it?"

"Yeah. I'll work it out. I wouldn't miss seeing you."

Dan yawned loudly into the phone, unable to fight sleep for too much longer.

"Sorry, hon. I'm pretty beat."

"That's OK. Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Mmm. Friday night – busy night. I'm working at the club from six 'til closing."

"Right then. Off to bed you."

"OK. Thanks for the good news, Cass. That's just great. I miss you heaps, you know."

"I know, babe. I miss you too. Sleep tight. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Later today, we'll talk more later today."

"For you. For me, it's tomorrow – but if I don't get off the phone in the next five minutes, you'll be right, and that just won't do my ego any good at all."

"Alright, hon. Sleep tight. Talk later then."

"Later. That's better. Later, then. Miss you."

"Not for much longer now. Night, Cass."

"Night, babe."

Dan rolled over and was asleep within minutes.

Cassie lay back in bed and stared at the ceiling. Seven days. Just seven days.

******************

The following week was yet another busy one for both Dan and Bella. He'd missed meeting Steve on Friday night because even though he was meant to start work at the club at six o'clock, he'd been called in early. Dan was picking up more and more nightshifts at the club too. He worked every night from Friday through to Tuesday. By the time he'd get home each night after work, Bella would be fast asleep in bed. She had started all the pre-school year in-servicing and orientation days so they literally communicated via notes left on the kitchen table or brief text messages and phone calls.

Dan also picked up some extra hours at the music store. He was asked to cover the middle of the day period between 10a.m. and 2p.m. during the lunch rush a couple of days a week and it usually gave him just a few hours between finishing at the store and starting at the club. He'd managed to go out with some college friends on the Wednesday evening for the first time since he had gotten back from his trip. They'd a great night and it was good to catch up with them, but he was so tired from working late nights that he was one of the first to leave.

Dan had also excitedly told Bella about Cassie's impending visit to New York. She too was excited for him because it seemed like he had found a little extra spring in his step since Cassie had shared her news with him, despite the crazy work hours he was keeping.

During one of their brief exchanges via notes on the kitchen table throughout the week, Dan had asked Bella whether she wanted to travel to New York with him on the weekend so that she could meet Cassie. Bella's first reaction was to say no. She knew just how much Dan was looking forward to seeing Cassie and she didn't want to be a third wheel. She had said as much to him on the phone in yet another brief exchange when he rang her one afternoon, while moving between his jobs.

"Dan. Thanks for thinking of it, love, but I really don't want to be hanging around you and Cassie for the whole weekend. It's a chance for you two to catch up. You really don't want me there to cramp your style."

"Mom, Cassie's mother, auntie and grandmother will all be there. So will Sammy. I'm trying to convince Chris to come down for the weekend too but he's committed to some family function so doesn't think he can make it. You said you wanted to meet Cassie. Well, now, here's your chance; face to face, not over the phone. Just think about it. Please?"

"Alright. I'll think about it some more and let you know tonight. I'll leave you a note on the table."

"Thanks, Mom."

Bella wasn't really sure that Dan and Cassie's relationship was up to the whole 'let's meet the family' stage, but she admitted that if Cassie's mother was going to meet Dan, there was no real reason why she should feel uncomfortable about meeting Cassie.

Bella thought about it for most of the afternoon and evening, before leaving a note for Dan, as promised, on the kitchen table.

_Dan. Would love to come. Where will we stay? When do you plan on leaving? Mom._

Dan got home late that night after yet another hectic shift at the club. Even in the few days that he had worked there, he'd learned the ins and outs of clearing and cleaning and had briefly spent time drawing beers behind the bar when the bar staff found themselves flat out.

He read his mother's note on the kitchen table and smiled but wondered if she would change her mind now that his timetable had. He'd just been given his roster for the next week, and of course, being the new guy, he was scheduled to work most of the Labor Day weekend. He would only be given the Sunday off. He was more than a little annoyed; in fact, he was pretty pissed off about it, but really didn't have much of an opportunity for recourse. He had only worked there for a little under a week, and despite working long hours in that time, he couldn't tweak the roster to suit his own needs just yet. What he dreaded most was phoning Cassie and breaking the news to her.

He did it that night and the call didn't go well.

"What do you mean you have to work this weekend?" Cassie said incredulously into the phone. "Tell them you can't. Tell them you have plans."

"I can't do that Cass. I'm new at the job. I can't rearrange things to suit me. It's not right."

"What's not right is you not meeting me in New York for the weekend."

"I'll still meet you; I just won't be able to be there for the whole weekend. I'll leave as soon as I get home from work on Saturday night and drive down. I'll be there by sunrise. I can spend the whole of Sunday with you, stay Sunday night, and then drive home mid-morning Monday, in time to start my shift at two that afternoon. I can work it Cass. It's not as much time as I thought we'd have together, but it's better than nothing."

"Hardly."

"Cass. Honey. Come on. It's the best I can do."

"But it's not enough."

"I know it's not enough but…"

"But what, Dan? Is that all you're prepared to give me. What little time you can spare? I thought I meant more to you than that. I thought _we_ meant more to you than that."

"Dammit, Cassie. I'm doing my best here, OK? I am trying to make this work. I didn't plan on this."

"Well, neither did I. Can't you just quit?"

"What? Quit my job?"

"Yeah. Quit this one and get another one after the weekend."

"You can't be serious."

"Perfectly."

"Cassie. How will that look on my resume? I stuck at a job for a whole week until something didn't suit me and then I threw the towel in and walked away? That's not going to help my job prospects in the future."

"But this isn't the job you want anyway. You want an office based job."

"But it's a job Cassie; and it's giving me money to put away to fly out to you on Thanksgiving. I haven't got unlimited financial support you know. I have to work hard to earn this money."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I have to earn a living, Cassie. I'm not in college anymore. I've got to work when the work is there."

"And you've got to see me when I'm there."

"I'm trying to do both."

"Well, maybe then, you shouldn't bother."

"What?"

"Don't bother. If it's too taxing on you to do both, don't bother."

"It's not too taxing on me. Where did that come from?"

"Well you don't seem to be able to rearrange your hectic lifestyle to include much time in it for me."

"Cassie, I've got to work. We can't all get Mommy to fly us across the country for a weekend away, all expenses paid."

The moment the words left his mouth, Dan regretted them. But it was too late. The horse had bolted.

"Is that what this is about? You think that I am some spoilt little rich girl and don't appreciate that you have to earn a living?"

"Well, that sure is how you're acting." _Oh gawd_, Dan thought, hitting himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. This was getting worse. He was upset and he couldn't get her to understand just how much this was tearing him up inside as well. He was just trying to make the most out of a bad situation.

He tried again.

"Cassie, please?" he said, trying to slow down the rate of the conversation. "I really want to see you, but I have to work. I'm doing my best here. Cut me some slack. We'll have the whole of Sunday together and most of Sunday night and breakfast Monday morning. Please, Cass. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

His plea was returned by silence on the end of the phone.

Finally Cassie spoke.

"Dan. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you some more in the morning. I think we both need to get some perspective here. Night."

"Night, Cass," Dan said, but she'd already ended the call.

_She needs sleep_, he thought to himself. _I'm arguing with her at 2a.m. my time, and she needs sleep. Shit. Just shit._

Dan went off to shower, before getting ready to crawl into bed. He was startled by Bella waiting for him in the hallway.

"Mom? What are you doing up?" he asked as he adjusted the towel he had luckily strung around his waist as he'd left the bathroom. He wasn't usually so reserved when he thought Bella was asleep.

"I think I caught a fair bit of your phone conversation with Cassie. You have to work this coming weekend, huh?"

"Yeah and it sucks. From both points of view," Dan said wearily as he rubbed his eyes.

"Are you still going to go down then?"

"That's my plan."

"Do you still want company?"

"If you're game, but introducing you to a pissed off girlfriend isn't probably the right way to meet her."

"I can handle it."

"She's a good person, Mom. She just lives in a bit of a different world to you and me."

"So I gathered."

Dan nodded his head, acknowledging Bella's comment.

"So, will you still come with me?"

"Yes. I'll still come with you, if for no other reason than to make sure you don't fall asleep behind the wheel driving home."

Dan leaned down to kiss his mother goodnight.

"Thanks, Mom. Goodnight."

"Good morning don't you mean?" Bella queried, noting the lateness of the hour and kissing her son in return.

"Good morning then. And Mom?"

"Yes, Dan?"

"Please, keep an open mind. Cassie really is a great girl. Honestly. This is just…bad news… OK?"

"It'll be alright, Dan," Bella replied vaguely.

Dan levelled her with a look and she put both of her hands up in the air in response, "OK. OK. Level mind… I promise."

"Thanks. Night."

"Night, love."

Dan moved to his bedroom as Bella stood in the hallway watching her son and worried about what he was letting himself in for.

* * *

Dan answered his cell the next morning, bracing for another round of discussion with Cassie. However, what he heard surprised him.

"Hi, babe. How are you this morning? Feeling tired?"

"Yes, Cassie. Exhausted's more like it," he added wearily, still trying to gauge her mood.

"Do you have to work tonight?"

"Yeah and four hours today at the music store, too."

"Are you sure you can keep this up?"

"I don't know. We'll just have to see." _She sounds conversational enough_, he thought but he was still on guard after last night's phone call.

"Dan," Cassie hedged, "about last night…" she let the sentence trail off before she continued. "I'm sorry. It's been pointed out to me that I was a bit off base with what I said."

"Who pointed it out to you?"

"My Mom. She, um, well, she overhead my end of the conversation."

"Well, that makes two of us."

"You mean your Mom heard us, too?"

"Yeah."

"Oh shit. That is so not the way I want your Mom to know me. Shit. Shit."

"Calm down, Cass. It'll be OK. I had a quick word with Mom last night. She's knows you were just upset. That's all."

"Shit."

"Cassie. It'll be OK," Dan tried again. "So," he continued, "does this mean that I am forgiven?"

"I'm so sorry, babe. I really had my head up my ass. Even my Mom said so."

"I like your Mom."

"Mmm? You haven't even met her yet."

"Yeah, but if she has managed to get the wrath that was Cass calmed down, I'm going to need her in future."

"What? You're expecting to piss me off again sometime in the future?"

"Undoubtedly."

"How so?"

"You and I. We are different people, Cass. Hell, sometimes I even manage to piss myself off, so imagine how easily I'll be able to piss you off if you spend enough time with me."

"Good point. You're going to be a high maintenance boyfriend, I can tell."

"Thanks. So what does that make you?"

"Perfect for you."

"How so?" he responded, turning her words back on her.

"Because I'll be the perfect one to kick your ass if you get too stroppy."

"You've managed to maintain a few Aussieisms yourself I see."

"Bloody oath!"

"OK. Stop. You're killing me here," he said, laughing for the first time that morning. "So we're good then?"

"We're good."

"And do I get to return the favour if you get too stroppy in future?"

"Yes."

"That should keep things interesting."

"Where are you and your Mom staying in New York?" Cassie asked, changing the topic.

"Mom asked me the same question – well kind-of- last night."

"What do you mean kind-of?" queried Cassie.

"Well, I haven't seen much of her in the last week. We have been corresponding via notes on the kitchen table and the odd phone call and email, except of course in the hallway last night after our … discussion," Dan added tactfully.

"Ah…I see. So, do you have an answer? Where are you staying?"

"I have no idea."

"Why don't you let me arrange it then?"

"Cass, that would be great, gorgeous, but Mom and I can't quite afford anything too…"

"Understood. Are you prepared to trust me and leave it with me to organise?"

Dan took a deep breath. "Yes."

"Good. Now by my calculations, you have about half an hour before you are due to start work. Correct?"

"Oh, shit. Yes. Correct."

"Well, get going. I'll text you the hotel's name and details and I will see you on Sunday morning, bright and early. I'll try and keep up with you via text in the meantime."

"OK." Dan said, relieved that the disagreement from the night before had been settled. "Cass?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are _you_ staying?"

"Oh. That's easy, The Park Plaza."

"Right," Dan said slowly, realizing again just how different his and Cassie's daily lives really were.

"I'll text you soon, OK?"

"OK."

"You know, it's good to say this but, see you soon."

"Yes, hon. It is good to say it. I'll see you soon, too."

Dan ran his fingers through his new haircut. It was the shortest it had been for a long time and he'd managed to get it done two days previously between jobs_. One fight down, god knows how many more to go,_ he thought to himself and smiled. He was sure she was worth it. He just knew she was.

* * *

Saturday seemed to be upon them before he knew it. Dan was so excited and it seemed to Bella that he was unable to sit still.

"So," Bella started as they ate a late breakfast over the kitchen table. "Have you heard from Cassie yet?"

"Yeah, she texted me this morning. They've arrived and intend to hit the shops first thing. Her grandmother didn't make it over though. She got some kind of food poisoning they think. She wasn't well enough to fly."

"That's no good."

"No, they came anyway though. Apparently Cassie's grandfather is a doctor and he gave her something or other to help get it under control but she didn't feel up to flying."

"So, Dan. How do you want to work this tonight? Do you want me to drive you to work and then pick you up when your shift finishes?"

"That would work, but is it too much trouble for you, Mom? I could just come home as normal and we could leave from here," Dan offered as he put yet another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. Bella wondered where he managed to store it all.

"No. That's fine with me. I can sleep this afternoon and then wake up in time to pick you up and do the drive."

"Are you sure, Mom?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Dan. But are you able to shower at work before you leave? I really don't think you should be meeting Cassie smelling like a brewery."

"Yeah, I'll take a change of clothes to work with me."

"Good."

"What time do you have to go in today?" Bella asked as she spread butter on her second piece of toast.

"Not until six tonight. So I've got the day to rest up and get myself organized."

"Do you really think you'll get much rest today?" Bella asked him seriously. "You seem a little keyed up to me."

"I'll sleep, Mom. No worries about that."

Bella nodded her head in response. They were silent for a minute or two before Dan pushed himself away from the table and went to wash his bowl in the sink.

Bella took a deep breath and willed herself to start this conversation. It was something, in the chaos of the last week that she thought Dan had forgotten about; but she hadn't.

"Dan?' she asked.

"Yeah, Mom? What is it?"

"You wanted to ask me some questions last week and we really haven't had the chance to address them. Do you still want to do that?"

Dan paused at the sink and looked over at his mother. "Yes. I still really want to do that."

"Well, how about now? I've got the time if you have," she said, looking down at her hands as she spoke to him.

Dan moved back across to the small table in their kitchen and sat down on the chair he had just left. "Are you up to doing this now, Mom?"

"No time like the present," she replied, "and besides, with the hours you've been keeping, I'm not likely to get uninterrupted time with you again for a week or so and I don't really want to have this conversation in the car tonight." Bella was remembering their last uncomfortable car trip together.

"Ok, Mom. Great." Dan reached forward and took his mother's hands in his. "Are you sure you are OK with this?" he asked again, just to make sure.

"Let's do it," Bella replied, with much more bravado than she felt.

Dan continued to look carefully at his mother. He noticed something for the first time in the past week. "You're looking tired, Mom," he said.

"I haven't been sleeping very well."

He nodded. "Has planning to have this talk been bothering you?"

"Amongst other things, yes," Bella responded truthfully.

"Is this just too hard for you? Is that what it is?"

"No, it's not just the talk. It wasn't exactly the happiest time in my life, Dan. I was young, scared and pregnant. I was terrified of what all that would mean. Having to remember it has been draining, you know?" she asked him, imploring him to understand.

He held her hands as she continued. She took a deep breath before saying, "You deserve to know everything I can tell you, Dan. I have been trying to remember things… details that I may not have told you previously. It's been exhausting."

Again, Dan just nodded. He wanted to support her as much as he could. He knew bringing up the topic again after so long was going to cause her pain. He wanted to lessen it as much as he could, but he had no idea how.

Dan took a deep breath himself. Bella seemed to be waiting for him to ask the first question. He had lots of questions he wanted to ask. He only had to select one to get him started.

"How long before you knew?"

"What? That I was pregnant?"

"Yes."

"I was a bit slow on the uptake, really. It was almost eight weeks or so before I put it all together."

"What did you do when you found out?"

"I cried."

"When did you tell Nan and Pop?"

"Not for another month after that."

"Wasn't it obvious?"

"No. You don't show much with first babies early on, and I'd stopped eating much… your Nan picked up that something was wrong – she thought I was developing an eating disorder."

"How did they take it?"

"I told your Nan, first. She surprised me. She held me tight and told me it would all work out. I needed to believe that more than anything. And I just held on to her and cried and cried. We went together to tell your Pop."

"What did he do?"

"He went out to Billy's."

"Didn't he say anything?"

"No."

"How was that?"

"I was more scared of the silence than the yelling."

"What happened then?"

"Your Pop came home and he went straight to bed."

"Did he say anything?"

"Not 'til the next day."

Dan took a minute to process what Bella had told him so far. It was a different picture of his grandfather than what he was used to.

"Did you ever try to find him? My father?"

"Dan, it was so late in the picture by that stage. Months and months down the track. I had no idea how to even try. I didn't even know where in the States he came from. Nothing. Except a nickname." Bella, took a deep breath, "Eddie."

"What did Pop say when you told him that?"

"I didn't."

"You didn't?"

"No."

Dan looked at her but kept silent, feeling that there was more that she wanted to tell him.

"It was bad enough telling him I was pregnant, let alone telling him that I had been blind drunk and smoking the night it happened. I was in enough of a pickle. That information wouldn't have helped anything."

"But didn't he ask?"

"Ask? That's not quite the word for it. He yelled. He screamed. He demanded, he calmed down and then he cajoled. But I never said a word more about it."

"But Mom, they couldn't have understood what happened. They wouldn't have known."

"That's right. They didn't." Bella paused, trying to sum up all her memories from that time. "Let's just say, that my pregnancy was hard on all of us…My dad thought I was a two bit slut who went on holiday and slept around when all the while I was telling them I went away with my friends."

"They didn't believe you?"

"They didn't have anything to believe in, remember? I didn't give them _any_ of the details."

"They didn't know you hadn't….?" Dan left the sentence unfinished.

"No – all evidence to the contrary."

"That's so wrong…"

"I didn't give them any chance to think differently. I hated myself as much as I hated the fact I was pregnant."

"Oh, Mom," Dan said, the pain he felt for his mother all too evident in his voice.

"It was a different time, Dan. Being a young, single, pregnant girl still carried quite a stigma in those days. We lived in a small country town. Your grandfather was the local Police Chief. He was well known. It was just," she paused to find the right word, "difficult. Extremely difficult."

"But you were his daughter. He should have protected you."

"He did, Dan. In his own way, he tried. He just didn't cope very well with the pregnancy. It was all a bit much for him."

"And I was the cause of all that pain."

"No, Dan. I'll have none of that. _You_ are the greatest gift in my life. How many times have I told you that? You did nothing wrong here. You aren't to blame for any of what happened. I made choices. Poor ones. I paid the price."

"I was that price, Mom."

"Never. You were the _prize_ Dan, _never_ the price."

"But, Charlie?" Dan asked and Bella realised that for the first time ever, Dan had referred to his grandfather by his first name.

"Your Pop did the best he could at the time with the little knowledge he had. It all changed after you were born."

"How?"

"He came to the hospital. He took one look at you in my arms…and he cried, Dan. Really, cried. The previous six months or so had taken a toll on him terribly. He hated the man he'd become, but he didn't know how to be any different. You taught him that, Dan. You gave him the chance to redeem himself – to become a better man. You were a gift for all of us Dan. You have no idea how much."

Bella wiped the odd stray tear away from her cheeks. Dan got up from the table and grabbed a box of tissues from the kitchen counter. He brought them back over to his mother and offered them to her wordlessly. She looked up at him gratefully as he sat back down at the table, and when she had calmed herself once more, he took her hands again in his.

"Anyway," Bella said regrouping. "This isn't focused on you knowing what you need to in order to go about finding your father. I did have one more recollection the other night that might help."

"What was it, Mom?"

"The band's name. The name of the band he played in," she added to clarify.

"What was it?"

"Vamp. The band's name was Vamp."

Dan pushed back his chair and knelt on the ground next to her and hugged his Mom. She cried.

"I am so sorry this has been so hard for you, Mom. I am so sorry you have had to relive all of this again because of me."

"I have always promised you, Dan," she sniffed as she reached for another tissue. "Whatever and whenever you need me. That's not easy. But I mean every word of it. Always."

Dan held his mother tight as they shared this moment together. For him, there was no greater evidence of just how much she loved him than the conversation they just had. He would never be able to put into words everything he felt for her so he offered her the only words he knew would make a difference.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, so very much."

A few minutes passed as Dan and Bella stayed in the kitchen, each offering the other silent devotion. Finally, Bella broke the silence.

"How are you going to start to look for him, Dan?" Those words were hard to say but she was glad she had gotten them out.

"Have you ever tried to Google your own name, Mom?" he asked her in return.

"No."

"You should try it. You will be surprised at what you find."

"Oh…. But Dan, you don't have a name – just a nickname," Bella added as an afterthought.

"But now, I also have a band name, Mom. That's a start."

"You think that will help you?"

"I'm sure it will. Thank you, Mom." Dan looked at his mother carefully. The weight of the conversation they had showed in the lines on her face; lines that he'd never noticed before. "What is it, Mom?" he asked her sincerely. "What are you thinking about?"

"I am worried for you, Dan. What if you don't like what you find, if you find him?" It was that single question that had worried Bella most over the last week.

"If, that's the case, when and if I find him, then I'll be reminded of just how lucky I am to have you as my mother. There aren't too many Moms like you in this world. Don't you realise that? I'm the lucky one here. I have you and I have had you with me my whole life. To me, that is priceless and definitely a wonderful first prize."

* * *

Review time...please?


	9. Chapter 9

**One more chapter to go...before...???**

here is it

Thanks to my usual buddies

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* * *

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**Chapter 9 – Two halves make a whole**

Bella signalled and pulled into the roadside gas station. It was just after 4am and she really needed to pee. Bringing the car to a stop she turned the engine off, hoping not to wake Dan who was asleep in the front passenger's seat. So far, so good. She unclipped her seat belt and went to open the door to her Honda. The overhead light turned on as she pushed the door open and Bella cussed under her breath as it did.

"Wha..? Are we here?" Dan asked groggily looking around, after being startled awake.

"No, love, go back to sleep," Bella replied softly. "I just needed a bathroom break, that's all. I'll only be a couple of minutes."

"Oh, right," Dan replied, as he rubbed his eyes with his fingers and took in a deep breath before raking his hands through his hair.

"Sorry I woke you. I forgot about the light."

"S'all right, Mom. No worries. I might use the bathroom too while we're here."

Dan pulled himself out of his mother's small car and stretched slowly by the passenger's door.

"Dan, honey, can you hurry up and shut the door? I'm in kind of a rush," Bella told him as she danced a little on the spot, the chill of the night air making her desire to pee a little more urgent than it had been moments before.

"Oh, right. Sorry," Dan replied as he shut the door.

Bella quickly hit the lock button on her keys before dashing off inside the building.

Dan sauntered in behind his mother and over to the male restrooms.

Minutes later, Dan was waiting for Bella as she emerged from the Ladies' room.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much. Do you want to grab a coffee or something before we head off?"

"How much longer 'til we get there?" Dan asked.

"Couple of hours at least I think," Bella answered. "It will depend on the traffic when we get there though. It shouldn't be too bad being a Sunday morning."

"Still, it will probably be more than what you're used to, Mom. Maybe you should let me take over when we get close?"

"Why, don't you think I can handle it?"

"Just offering to help with the drive, that's all."

"I can manage it, love, besides, you'll need to navigate once we get into the city."

"Right." 

"Coffee then?" Bella asked again. He never had answered her the first time she asked.

"Yeah. I probably won't be able to go back to sleep now anyway. Do you want something to eat?"

"No. Yes. Chocolate, maybe? Do they have any Reese Cups?" she asked, making her way over to the counter.

"I never thought I would see the day when you ordered chocolate at 4am."

"I never thought I would see the day where I was up with you at 4am. I'll do what it takes to stay awake at this hour."

They ordered their drinks and food before heading out towards the car with their purchases.

"I don't know how you can eat that at this time in the morning," Bella asked, looking over at Dan as he bit into his pie. It looked the polar opposite of appetizing to her.

"Look who's talking, Miss Reese Cups. They're a bit sweet aren't they?"

"It's obvious you still have a lot to learn about women, Dan. There is never a bad time for chocolate. And sometimes," Bella added, "it's not just a want, but a need. There are times when a woman just needs chocolate, so don't ever stand in the way of a woman and her chocolate source. Just words for the wise, that's all," she offered with a wink.

"Right. Women and chocolate. Don't question or obstruct. Got it," he said as he closed the door after getting inside.

"Trust me, you'll thank me for that piece of advice one day," Bella said, putting her coffee in the cup holder on the dash as she started the car.

Twenty minutes down the road, Bella looked across to Dan in his seat, sound asleep and mouth hanging open. "Won't go back to sleep… yeah... right," she smiled and mumbled under her breath before looking ahead again. She wasn't upset with him though – he had worked incredibly long and late hours in the last ten days or so, and he was obviously exhausted, the dark shadows under his eyes telling the story without words.

Two hours later, the lights of New York City were glowing on the horizon as they drew closer and closer.

"Dan? Dan? Wake up, love. We're nearly there," she spoke gently, shaking him slightly with one hand while keeping the other on the wheel.

"Mmm. Did I fall asleep again?"

Bella laughed, "Yes. You did. So much for the coffee and pie wake up meal."

"How far away are we do you think?"

"Twenty minutes - give or take - to the outskirts of the city, I think. Goodness knows how long 'til we reach their hotel. Your cell chimed a little while ago by the way. No prize for guessing who that might be."

"Oh. Really?" Dan reached for his cell and opened the latest message. He smiled as he read it.

"What does she say?"

"Ah…hhahello…aaaamongst other things," Dan said quietly.

Bella looked at her son. She could have sworn he was blushing.

"She's been up for a while. She's not been able to sleep apparently."

"A case of opposites attracting then, huh? You obviously haven't had that problem," Bella chided.

"Cassie didn't finish work at 2 am, Mom."

"I know love, I'm only joking. I know you're excited to see her too."

Dan was distracted and didn't respond to his mother's words; he was busy typing a message to Cassie. Bella couldn't see what it was, but she knew it must have been something interesting. Dan couldn't wipe the smirk off his face.

"Where are we going to meet them?"

"I just asked Cassie that."

"Oh is that what that was then?" Bella asked, failing to keep the amusement out of her voice.

"Amongst other things," Dan replied cryptically.

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"OK then. Need to know only basis," she said, nodding her head as she looked across at him once more.

"I think you'd be happier that way, Mom."

"Blissful ignorance, got it," Bella winked at her son.

"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

Bella looked straight ahead as she continued the drive into the city. After their talk yesterday about Dan's father, she had spent a lot of time wondering just how much Dan's desire to search for his father would impact on their future. Her mind had spun out of control thinking of all the possible implications of this. Would Dan be happy just having a face to put with the name, if indeed he did find out his father's full name? How would his father react to finding out he had a fully-grown son after all this time? What if his father had no desire to meet with him? What if things did work out and his father didn't reject him? What if his father wanted to get to know him? Would that mean she would have to become involved too?

Bella didn't know how she felt about that. She had only been with this guy once and that one night from so many years ago along with the memories of it were clouded heavily by alcohol and time. Would she even recognise him now if she did ever see him again? She tried, yet again, to recall his face, but it just wasn't there – not clearly anyway - dark black hair, longish at the back, spiked on top. He was tall; she clearly remembered that, and black clothes. The band had four, maybe five guys in it. It was all so long ago for her. She gave herself a little shake as she brought herself back to reality, the sound of Dan's cell chiming rousing her from her faded memories.

She looked across to see Dan's smile as he read.

"Cassie's going to be waiting for us in the foyer of the hotel. She said just to pull up to the front doors. She'll be looking for us."

"How will she know when we'll be there? It could be an hour or so yet if we get stuck in traffic."

"I've told her I'll text her when we get close."

"OK." Bella took a moment to survey her son while trying to keep one eye on the road. "You're excited aren't you, love?

"I've really missed her, Mom. I can't explain it, other than to say that I've really missed her."

"I'm sure she will be just lovely, Dan. I can't wait to meet her. If you're this smitten, she must be something special."

"She is."

Bella continued to drive, making her way into the city. Under Dan's guidance, she negotiated the traffic and, slowly but surely, they made their way towards the southern end of Central Park. Their destination was on 5th Avenue.

"Cassie's out the front of the hotel, waiting for us."

"Alright, Dan."

"Turn here, Mom."

"OK."

"Here!"

"O. K. Dan."

"It's along here somewhere. Up ahead, Mom. On the right!"

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Calm down."

"What?" he said, looking quickly at her before refocusing on the building flying the flags just up ahead.

"I said, Calm. Down." Bella said slowly, annunciating each word carefully.

"O.K. Right. Yeah." Dan replied, not really paying any attention to his mother at all, but rather scanning the street they were on.

Bella smiled as she moved the car along 5th Avenue, getting closer and closer to the hotel as they went.

"Here, Mom. In here."

Obediently, Bella turned the car into the lane that fronted the famous hotel. Opulent wasn't the first word that sprang to Bella's mind, but it was close enough.

"There she is."

Without a moment more hesitation, Dan opened the car door and sprang from his seat, almost slamming the door behind him in his haste. Bella caught sight of him rushing past the front of the car and headlong into the arms of an attractive young lady - well from the brief glimpse Bella got before the young lady in question was lost in an embrace of mammoth proportions, she seemed attractive. Bella turned off the engine, and went to open her door, only to be met by a personable young valet who did the job for her.

"Welcome to The Plaza, Ma'am," he said, in a courteous, yet oddly formal, voice.

"Oh," said Bella, taken a little aback. "Thank you," she continued as the young man offered her his hand as she alighted from the vehicle.

"Let me help you with your baggage," the valet continued, his smile firmly in place. "The reception area is just inside the main doors to your left."

"Oh… I…" Bella started, not sure how to proceed. She knew that Cassie had booked them into the Holiday Inn not too far away, but was unsure how to admit that to the valet that was doing his best to assist her. "Thank you, but I'll just need a moment," she continued, motioning with her hand towards Dan and the young lady who was obviously Cassie.

"Of course, Ma'am, whatever you need," returned the valet, apparently named Jeff, according to his name tag. "I'll be right here when you are ready."

"Thank you," Bella replied courteously and then she made her way towards her son and his girlfriend.

Dan was still holding Cassie in a bear-like hug and he had given her several kisses, moving between her lips and her cheeks and back again.

"God, I've missed you," Bella heard him tell Cassie as she approached.

"And I've missed you," Bella heard Cassie reply, her voice filled with emotion.

Bella waited slightly to the side of the love struck pair, waiting for a break in their reunion to get a word in.

Cassie was the first to notice Bella waiting patiently. She let go of her tight hold around Dan's shoulders and neck and backed away a little. "Dan," she said as she watched Bella cautiously. "Your Mom."

Dan, released Cassie from his firm two-armed grasp, and, taking her left hand in his right one, turned to face his mother.

"Mom, this is Cassie. Cassie, this is my Mom, Bella." Dan didn't let go of Cassie's hand, but stood aside to let the two most important women in his life meet each other for the first time.

"Hello, Cassie," said Bella, stepping forward to reach for Cassie, giving her a brief squeeze and a kiss on the cheek, "it is a pleasure to finally meet you."

Cassie shook off Dan's hand, albeit briefly, in order to return Bella's hug. "Bella," she began, calling Dan's mother by name for the first time, "I am really happy to be able to meet you too. It is wonderful that you have been able to come down to New York this weekend with Dan. I know it hasn't exactly been easy for either of you," Cassie continued sheepishly, making reference to her phone call with Dan earlier in the week, the one where she left less than a good impression by her behavior.

"Most good things in life take a little extra effort," Bella responded graciously.

"Thank you, Bella."

Dan reached for Cassie's hand again, not wanting to let her go for a minute more than he absolutely had to. It would be wrong of him to say that he hadn't had doubts over the last few weeks as to whether what he and Cassie had shared on their Australian holiday would carry over to their real lives once back in the States, but one look at her here, this Sunday morning, wiped any doubts from his mind completely. His euphoria at being close to her once again blotted out any concerns or second thoughts he may have had. His smile told Bella all she needed to know.

"Dan, Bella," Cassie said, looking to each of them in turn. "My family is inside. They are all dying to meet you, but I made them wait there so they wouldn't cause a scene. Come on and I'll take you in to meet them."

Dan went to move off automatically with Cassie, but Bella looked back towards the waiting Valet, patiently awaiting instructions.

"Cassie, I really need to do something with my car," Bella began, and the two lovebirds halted in their tracks.

"Oh! Of course. I'm sorry. We can have your bags taken upstairs to our rooms if you like and your car parked below. That way you can freshen up after your overnight drive."

"That would be lovely," Bella started, but then in an undertone continued quietly to Cassie, "but can we do that since we aren't actually staying here?"

"Of course, we haven't got a car, so we can have your car booked in under our room." Turning to the Valet, Cassie continued. "Please collect the bags from the car and have them taken to room 5103. You can also move the car into the underground carpark for the time being and charge it to the same room number."

"Of course, thank you, Miss," the Valet responded politely. "Ma'am," the Valet looked once more to Bella before opening the trunk of the car and removing their overnight bags. "Your car keys will be left for you at the front reception desk, Ma'am," he added, looking directly at Bella. "Just sign here and give them this tag when you are ready to collect them."

"Right. Thank you," Bella replied for what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning as she signed the keys over to the Valet.

"Enjoy your time at The Plaza," he finished as he moved off to the driver's door and hopped into her car.

Everything was happening so fast that Bella felt like her head was in a spin.

"They will have your bags taken up to our room shortly. Come inside and meet my Mom and Auntie and have some breakfast first. You haven't had the chance for breakfast have you?" Cassie asked as an afterthought.

"No, not really," Bella responded, still a little startled.

"Great. Perfect timing then," Cassie smiled warmly before continuing. "My Mom will just about be jumping out of her skin. It was all I could do get her to stay in the breakfast room. Thank goodness Auntie Rose was there to rein her in."

The three of them, Dan holding tightly onto Cassie's hand, moved through the large glass doors and into the expansive foyer of the hotel.

"Oh my," Bella exclaimed while taking in her surroundings, but not meaning to do so out loud, as she moved to Dan's other side.

"I know, amazing right?" Cassie added as she looked around Dan to catch Bella's eye. "I've never been here before either, but my Mom stayed here many years ago, apparently. It's a pretty amazing place."

"I'll say," replied Bella as her neck twisted and turned trying to take in everything at once. Dan, on the other hand, was oblivious to everything other than his girl and his mother chatting away so relatively at ease with each other. He was relieved there seemed to be no obvious tension between the two of them.

"The breakfast room is over this way," Cassie indicated with her free hand as she moved them easily through the foyer of the hotel. "So, how was the drive?"

"Fine," Dan responded, getting a word in for the first time in minutes.

"As if you would know," Bella chided him, and she leant forward to catch Cassie's eye before she continued, "he slept almost the whole way."

"Did you really?" Cassie asked. "I was so excited I could hardly sleep a wink last night."

"I think he has slept enough for the both of us, Cassie," Bella added, enjoying the opportunity to chat with Cassie at Dan's expense.

"Hang on a minute, I worked until two this morning, or have you two forgotten that?" Dan interjected, trying to defend himself.

"Oh, poor baby," Cassie drawled, making fun of him. "Are you going to need a Nanna nap this afternoon?"

"Very funny," Dan nudged her shoulder in fun, "I'll make do."

"Good, because Bella and I are going to have to, so you, sleeping beauty, will just have to make do too."

Bella smiled at Cassie's response. She was warming to this girl's quick wit already.

"They're just inside, over here," Cassie indicated as they made their way into the Breakfast room.

Cassie made her way in first, not letting go of Dan's hand in the process. Bella followed the two of them and Dan looked over his shoulder to her. He gave her an encouraging smile as Cassie led them to a table near the window.

Dan recognised Sammy straight away. She got up as she saw them approach and made her way over to meet them as they neared the table. Cassie's Mom and Aunt also rose from the table, but kept their places.

"Hi, Sam," Dan said as he let go of Cassie's hand to give Sammy a brief hug and kiss before reclaiming it shortly after.

"How are you doing, Dan?" Sammy replied, returning Dan's hug. "It's only been a few weeks, but already I can see differences."

"Huh?" queried Dan before he noticed the focus of Sammy's eyes and realized that she was talking about his haircut. "Oh, yeah. I got it cut last week," he said as he self-consciously ran his hand through his hair, noting that it felt weird without the extra length. "It's the shortest I've had it for a while."

"At least it doesn't look like a mop anymore," Sammy replied before turning to meet eyes with Bella. "Hello, I'm Sammy, as you've no doubt worked out. You must be Ms Swan. Dan talked about you all the time."

"Hello, Sammy. I recognised you at once from your photos. You're as attractive in real life as you are on the computer screen, and please, call me Bella. I only get called 'Ms Swan' at work."

"Thank you, Bella."

"Bella, Dan," Cassie started formally, "this is my mother Alice, and her sister, Sammy's Mom, Rosalie."

"Well at long last, I thought the wait was going to kill me," exclaimed Alice as she stepped forward to meet Bella. "Bella, it is lovely that you have come to New York to meet us all. It is wonderful to meet you," she enthused warmly as she gave Bella a welcoming hug. She then turned to Dan, who was waiting patiently, smiling happily but still not letting go of Cassie's hand. "So you are the young man who has stolen my daughter's heart and most of her ability to hold a proper conversation without the word "Dan" appearing at least once. I'm Alice and I'm so very glad to get to meet you," she said, giving Dan a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to meet you, Alice. Thank you for bringing Cassie and Sammy to New York for the weekend. I owe you."

"That you do my boy. That you do. But it's my Mother to whom you owe the greatest debt. This was all her idea. It's a pity that she wasn't well enough to fly. She really wanted to meet you, young man."

"Well, her loss," came a comment from the blonde haired woman to Alice's left. "Hello. I'm Rosalie. Sammy's Mom. Dan, I feel like I know already you. If it's not Cassie, it's Sammy telling stories… Dan this… Chris that… Seriously, I think you two made their vacation for them."

"Well, I definitely think I got the best deal of the trip," Dan said generously, giving Cassie a one-armed squeeze and a kiss on her forehead.

"Hello, Bella," Rosalie continued, leaning around the small group to catch eyes with Bella.

"Rosalie, hello," Bella smiled warmly back at Cassie's auntie. She was feeling very relaxed amidst these exchanges, which was unusual for her. She usually felt much more guarded around people she didn't know.

"Please, sit down and join us," Alice extended the invitation. "We've only had coffee so far, Cassie forbade us to order anything else until you got here."

"Mom!"

"What? That's the truth," Alice responded honestly. "No ceremony here, Cassie, despite the surroundings."

"Actually," Bella mentioned quietly, "I would love to have the chance to use the bathroom if it's nearby."

"Oh, my, of course," said Alice. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Cassie, did you drag them straight in here? Bella, come this way, I'll show you where they are."

"Oh, no, don't disturb yourself again, just point me in the right direction," Bella offered, not wishing to upset the breakfast gathering any more than they already had.

"Don't be silly," answered Alice. "I got lost in here twice myself yesterday. It wouldn't help to have you get lost before you've actually had the chance to eat anything. The food here is exquisite, especially since you don't have to prepare it yourself. Rose, honey, can you get me another coffee when the waiter comes past? Bella, can Rose get you anything while we're gone?"

Bella's head started to spin as she tried to keep up with the rate of Alice's speech. "Ah, coffee regular would be lovely, thank you Rosalie," Bella offered.

"Consider it done."

"Come on, Bella, this way," Alice said as she took Bella by the hand and led her towards the bathrooms at the far end of the Breakfast room.

"Ah, we'll be back in a minute then," and before she knew it, Cassie's mother had her scooting off away from the group who were settling themselves back down at the table.

When Alice and Bella returned to the table, their freshly poured coffees were waiting for them and the table was alive with chatter. Bella took a seat on Dan's left between Dan and Alice. The breakfast was delicious. Alice had been right. There was an extensive range of hot and cold breakfast dishes, fruit, yoghurts and pastries. There was also a menu from which specialty dishes could be ordered.

"Eat up, breakfast is our treat this morning," Alice chimed in as Bella surveyed the menu, "after everything you've gone through in the last day to get here, it is the least we can do."

"So, what's the plan for today then? Have you got anything specific in mind, anything you really wanted to do?" Alice asked, looking towards Bella and Dan.

"I hadn't planned anything further than just getting here," Dan admitted honestly.

"Ok, then. Well you're easily pleased. Mission accomplished," Rosalie returned, "but what about you, Bella? Did you have anything in mind?" Rosalie was munching away on a delicious combination of fresh fruits and yoghurt and was trying to keep up with the conversation between mouthfuls.

"I haven't ever actually been to New York City," Bella admitted. "I will say that I did Google it, and there seems a lot of things that you can do, but I didn't really think we would have that much time, and I expected that Dan would be off with Cassie for the day, so basically thought I would be just wandering and window shopping."

"Well, we spent most of yesterday wandering, but failed miserably on the window shopping aspect," Alice laughed before taking another sip of her coffee. "A little too many purchases to be classed as window shopping technically," she added, "but we can definitely show you some wonderful places to start, even here in the hotel, but really, if you want to see New York, and get a feel for it all, you have to go out and about. It's a fabulous place. The buzz is electric."

"Out and about sounds good to me," Bella commented, "but I don't expect you two to have babysit me for the day. I can just set off and explore by myself."

"That's true, but if you feel like company, I'm up for it. Besides, the boys will ask us what we did with our weekend, and I have to be able to show them photos of some sort rather than just shopping bags," Rosalie remarked.

"Not like last year then, huh, Mom?" Sammy suggested. Turning to Bella she continued. "Last year, Mom spent the whole time shopping up a storm, and then copied photos onto her computer from tourist sites to try and convince Dad otherwise."

Bella laughed. "Did it work?" she asked.

"Up until Emmett realised that there were no photos of any of us anywhere. He got pretty suspicious after that, and started to question us all on what we had seen and where we had been."

"Where did you go last year then?" Bella asked. She remembered Dan telling her that this was an annual trip for the girls in the family and that each year they visited someplace different.

"Hawaii."

"Hawaii?" Bella asked a little too loudly, not keeping the shock out of her voice? "You went to Hawaii?"

"Like I said before, our Mom plans the yearly trip. Usually we put our wish list down on paper and she draws a destination out of a hat – literally. This year it worked a little differently though," Rosalie said, taking a look over towards Cassie. "Everyone just couldn't handle little sad doe eyes here."

"Did you miss me that much, gorgeous?" Dan asked, putting his two arms around Cassie and giving her a tight squeeze and kissing her temple.

"I thought I was doing rather well, actually," Cassie admitted, "but apparently acting is not one of my better skills."

"No, definitely stick to your chosen profession, my dear. Leave the acting gigs to the professionals."

The light-hearted conversation continued over the remainder of breakfast and for the second time that morning, Bella realized that she was really enjoying herself and the company. Nothing about Cassie's family seemed forced or overly formal. Because of their surroundings, Bella had expected that Cassie's family might be a little more aloof, but they were the exact opposite; they were warm and welcoming.

With breakfast over, the group moved back into the lobby area of the hotel. It was about nine in the morning, still a relatively early hour for a Sunday. Alice suggested that Bella and Dan, who was yet again holding Cassie's hand like it was some kind of lifeline, head upstairs to the room to freshen up after their drive.

"That would be nice," responded Bella, "especially since I assume it will be a little while since before we can check into our hotel."

"Yes, well about that," Alice started, only to be cut off by Rosalie.

"Bella, we hope that we haven't been too presumptuous, but we have actually cancelled your reservations at the Holiday Inn."

"You have?" Bella asked, taken aback, the tone of her voice making it plain that this was not something she had expected.

"We really hope that you don't mind, but since our Mother had to cancel her plans at the last minute, we were unable to cancel the booking for her room, and since the two of you needed a place to stay, we just thought that you would be happy to stay here instead since the room was available."

Bella looked incredulously at both Alice and Rosalie before turning to look at Dan. She was at a loss for words and conveyed as much with her eyes. It was an uncomfortable moment.

"Rosalie," Bella started, looking back towards her and her sister Alice, "that was a very nice thought of yours, but we aren't in a position to be able to affor…"

"Oh, Bella, please don't misunderstand," Alice interjected quickly, "the room is fully paid for; in fact, we have already lost two nights accommodation on it with it remaining unused."

"Stupid cancelation policy," Rosalie muttered under her breath.

"Please," Alice continued, "don't consider for one moment that we would want you to have to pay for it. No. That's not what we meant at all. It would be nice if at least someone could sleep in it and make use of it since it is already paid for."

"Really, Bella," Rosalie added. "Honestly, we didn't mean to make this awkward. If you'd rather stay elsewhere, I'm sure we can organise something."

"Mum?" Dan asked, catching his mother's attention again. "If it's already paid for," he continued, but Bella interrupted him.

"Dan, that's not the point. It is a very expensive room," Bella insisted, stating the obvious.

"Bella. Honestly, this is my mother's yearly event. She plans and prepares all of it. She'd be only too happy to think that you were making use of the room in her absence. Besides, it has the king-sized bed. Ours are all twin shares. We need to organize an additional bed for you anyway in order to accommodate both you and Dan."

Bella paused for a moment, considering her options, which she truly believed were few, especially with Dan looking at her with puppy dog eyes. She looked at him again before turning back to Rosalie and Alice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude. This is a very generous offer and it would be lovely to stay here. Thank you, but I insist that Dan and I pay the costs for the additional bed."

Alice and Rosalie smiled warmly, glad that the awkward moment had passed. Dan put his arm around Cassie and squeezed her shoulders tight.

"Done. Thank you, Bella. Really, it made sense to us at the time and I didn't stop to think that maybe you would find it awkward," Alice apologized. "Once you get to know me better, you'll find that enthusiasm is one of my greatest gifts and foolish follies."

"It's alright, Alice. Truly. So, where do we find this room then?"

An hour later, with Dan and Bella settled into their room, the group re-gathered in the foyer of the hotel. Cassie had barely left Dan's side since their arrival. She showed them to their room and had helped to retrieve their bags from her room just up the hall. Cassie and Dan had gone for a walk around The Plaza while waiting for Bella to shower and freshen up. They chatted easily, like they hadn't just spent the last three weeks separated by thousands of miles.

It seemed like they couldn't get enough of each other's presence. They were either holding hands, or walking with an arm wrapped around the other. Every once in a while, when they thought no one was looking, they would steal a quick kiss – sometimes it would be just a peck, other times, something a little more, but because of their circumstances, nothing more was possible at the moment. One thing was obvious to everyone, both Dan and Cassie were very happy – the smiles on their faces that lit their eyes were there for all to see. Even complete strangers, like an elderly couple they had passed in the foyer, had smiled quietly while looking at the young couple and were motivated to share a brief kiss themselves, while reminiscing about young love brought on by Cassie and Dan's obvious happiness.

"So, where to first?" Alice asked, as the group reformed with Bella's arrival. "What did Google suggest, Bella?"

"I'd love to see Central Park. It almost sounds like I could spend the whole day in there and not see everything."

"Central Park we can do easily. Have you ever looked in the windows of a Tiffany store?"

"No, never," Bella laughed. "Never," she repeated for good measure.

"Well, then that can be our first stop this morning and then head on over to Central Park. Tiffany's just across the street a little way," Rosalie added helpfully, "and one can never get too tired by looking at a Tiffany's display."

"Ah, we might avoid Tiffany's," Cassie hedged, not wanting to make it seem like she was looking for jewelry with Dan present.

"I'm with you then, Cass," Sammy added. "I spent way too much time there yesterday trying to rein my mother in. Sorry, Dan, I intend to be your third wheel for the day. You can work out some other time to get some one-on-one happening with Cassie."

"Subtle as a brick, as always, Sam," Dan quipped, giving her a smile. "I kind-a guessed you would be part of the package today. Works for me," he added, winking at her.

"Just try to keep the smooching down to a minimum until later OK? We've just had breakfast," Sammy responded, noticing that Dan was bringing Cassie in for yet another hug and kiss combination.

"What about you, babe?" Cassie asked Dan, giving her cousin a dirty look after she had finished returning Dan's kiss. "Is there anything you would be interested in seeing?"

"Well," Dan said slowly, "I've always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty, but I gather it's a little way from here."

"Not too far, but we do have to pre-book tickets and we wouldn't have enough time to do a whole tour. But we could definitely go and have a look at what's available."

"Sounds good to me."

"Actually, me too, if that doesn't make myself an unwanted extra," Bella said, sounding apologetic. "I've only ever seen pictures."

"Well, if we all went, at least Mom won't have to Photoshop those pictures this time."

"Hardy, ha ha, Sam," Rosalie chided.

Bella and Dan looked at each other and laughed.

"I didn't think it was that funny," Rosalie remarked, looking at Dan and Bella.

"Sorry, Rosalie, that's just something Mom says from time to time. I haven't heard anyone else actually say it before."

"Well I have," said Sammy, "and it's not just from my Mom either. You let it slip every once in a while Dan. First time I heard you say it in Australia, I thought you were channeling my mother. I suspected she'd put some voodoo-hoodoo curse on you to follow us and report back to the mother ship."

"Really? You never said anything," Dan laughed looking over towards Rosalie.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to sound completely paranoid now, did I, but I did mention it to Cassie over here," she said as he jerked her head in Cassie's direction, "and she still fell for you anyway."

"True," Cassie said, smiling and nodding her head in response.

"So," Alice started, getting the conversation back on track. "How do you want to work this? Central Park first - via Tiffany's of course," she added, nodding her head towards her sister and appeasing Rosalie in the process, "and then on to the grand old lady? Or the other way around?"

"Why don't you three go and check out Tiffany's then," Cassie said, "and we'll get on line and see what's available and what time we can book tickets for and go from there. We'll meet you at the storefront."

"Sounds like a plan to me, sweetheart," Alice said lovingly to her daughter. "You must have a very well-organized and talented mother to be able to come up with a solution like that."

"Oh for gawd's sake, Mom. Go already. Please?"

"Ready then, Bella? I believe we have just been dismissed."

"Ready when you are," Bella replied smiling.

"Bella? You might want to put your sunglasses on," suggested Rosalie as they made to move off, "the bling can get a little glary."

After checking online, and looking at all the available options, Cassie, Dan and Sammy decided on a river tour that took in many of the sights on and around the Hudson via ferry. It wouldn't actually let them off to tour the Statue of Liberty by foot, but they would get to see many things they would otherwise miss out on with such a short stay in the city. They booked tickets for a one o'clock tour and then left to meet their mothers, as arranged, outside Tiffany's. Dan, however, quickly deserted the girls en-route. With a brief kiss to Cassie, telling her he would only be 5 mins behind them, he took off into the Apple store just down the road. The girls just shook their heads remembering Dan's interest in all things technology while travelling in Australia and went on ahead to meet their mothers and Bella at Tiffany's. Twenty minutes later, Cassie and Sammy doubled back and went into the Apple store. They located Dan looking at new Mac books and hauled his ass none too gently out of there much to the laughter of their mothers who were now themselves waiting patiently out the front of the Apple store.

"Decision time people," began Alice. "We have a one o'clock river tour booked, so where to from here? The Park? You kids can go on ahead if you like, we won't cramp your style, but at what time and where do you want to meet up again?"

"Twelve-thirty at the Midtown ferry terminal, how does that sound?" asked Sammy, taking control. She really didn't want to spend too much time with her mother today. All day yesterday had been enough for her.

"OK. Don't worry about your Mom, Dan, we will look after her. She's in safe hands."

"Right then. Well, have fun, Mom," Dan said, letting go of Cassie and leaning in to give Bella a brief kiss. "Don't get lost," he added with a wink.

Bella swatted him and laughed.

Brief goodbyes were made all round before the three 'kids' took off across the square, passing the large fountain as they went, Dan managing to splash each of the girls as they passed.

"What is it about kids giving their parents a quick bit of lip these days? Our mother would have given us a clip over the ears in our day."

"She was never fast enough to catch us, Rose," Alice reminded her, "we always tried to stay just far enough out of reach. Remember the time when…" and the sound of their conversation was drowned out by the traffic as they crossed 5th Avenue and headed over towards Central Park. Bella was off on her own with two relative strangers in a big city like New York and, she realized, was thoroughly enjoying herself. This weekend was turning into one surprise after another.

Dan, Cassie and Sammy headed off into the city. Dan didn't mind where they went, as long as he was with Cassie. He was content to just enjoy her company, the warmth of her hand in his, the sound of her voice near his ear as she leaned in to tell him something over the noise of the traffic. They strolled through the city streets, chatting easily amongst themselves. Their conversation was never stilted nor forced. It was almost as if they were still on their Australian adventure, except that one member of their little quartet was missing.

Dan was relieved to find that there was no awkwardness between himself and Cassie. He knew rationally that they had their almost daily phone conversations but he had been concerned that maybe the spark they had experienced on their holiday wouldn't survive being transposed to another place and time. What he had said to his mother that morning in the car was definitely true – he was at a loss for words to explain his feelings for Cassie. He missed her like crazy, that much he knew; and he realized that his mind often drifted towards thoughts of her at unusual times – like when someone came into the music store with a similar haircut or when he was clearing away drinks at the club and he heard a woman's laughter from across the room which would remind him of Cassie's effortless smile.

"Penny for your thoughts," Sammy mentioned to him as they walked along. "You were miles away. You looked positively goofy."

Dan looked down at Sammy and smiled at her. He really liked Sammy. She was different from Cassie in so many ways, and yet it was apparent how close the two cousins were. They were close in age and shared a relationship that was more like sisters than cousins. It was obvious their family was a close one.

"Sorry, Sam. Just enjoying the moment with my two favourite girls."

"As flattering as that is, Dan, I don't believe that I am in that category."

"What makes you think so?" Dan asked her raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you don't kiss me like you kiss Cassie, and you're not stuck to me like glue."

"This is true," Dan replied, "and without wanting to upset you, I kinda have those things reserved especially for my number one girl over here," he added, giving Cassie's hand a squeeze.

"No. No problems here from me. Anyway, I don't really do tall and lanky. I prefer reasonably solid guys - if you get my drift," she replied, giving Dan a nudge and a wink.

"Oh, too much information, Sam," Cassie said, putting her free hand up to cover her eyes.

"Sammy, you crack me up," Dan laughed, "and besides, you know nothing about my package," Dan said, nudging her right back.

"What's your shoe size?" Sammy dared to ask him.

"Not telling."

Sammy looked down at Dan's feet as they walked along.

"Long and lanky, just like the rest of you," she confirmed to herself.

Dan laughed some more and retorted, "Length is a good thing."

"More than a handful or two's a waste," she surmised.

"I don't think your hands are what you were really thinking about, Sam," Cassie fired back.

"Cassandra Ann. You shock me!" Dan exclaimed in mock horror, turning to face his girl and putting his hand over his heart for added emphasis.

"You have no idea how much I intend to shock you, sir," she replied, feeling bold, but blushing as she said it.

"Oh don't tease, m'lady. I can't imagine that there'll be much of an opportunity on this visit for you to follow through on that promise," he leveled a gaze at her with his chocolate brown eyes.

"Let your mind wander, babe. Creativity is one of my strongest gifts," she answered provocatively, batting her eyelids.

"Dammit, woman. You are going to drive me crazy."

"Or blind," Sammy interjected.

"Sammy!" Dan and Cassie chorused.

"Just saying… that's all."

*******

When the two groups met up at the ferry in Midtown Manhattan at twelve thirty as arranged, it was obvious that everyone had enjoyed the previous couple of hours. Bella, Rosalie and Alice had strolled through Central Park, grabbing coffees as the walked, taking in all the sights this unique piece of city paradise had to offer. Bella was amazed by how quiet the Park actually was. Once you were inside, the city seemed to disappear, almost as if you had entered another world altogether. It amazed her that in a city this big, a Park like this could function so effectively and she now understood just why New Yorkers have such a special place for this haven in their hearts and why it was so famous around the world.

After collecting their prepaid tickets and boarding the ferry for their River Tour, the group settled on some seats to take in the cruise. Bella wondered absentmindedly whether she would need a sweater or not once they were underway. It was only one o'clock, but it was also September and the weather was starting to cool off just that little bit.

Bella surreptitiously watched Dan and Cassie interact with each other. She had to admit they displayed an ease and confidence with each other and exuded genuine warmth. She noticed too that Alice kept a watchful eye over the young couple who appeared to be unaware of the casual glances and from their mothers. Bella did however catch Alice's eye on one occasion, and the two women shared a conspiratorial smile before looking back out towards the Manhattan skyline.

The River Tour took them past many famous landmarks and as they listened to the audio commentary they learnt many things about New York and its colorful history. They did cruise past the Statue of Liberty on Liberty Island, Ellis Island and the historic Immigration Centre. Manhattan's skyline, one of the most well photographed and well known skylines in the world, was just as impressive up close and personal. The large skyscrapers towered over the city and its inhabitants.

"It's an amazing place, isn't it?" Cassie asked Dan, backing into his chest and snuggling into him as he wrapped his arms around her and placed his head on her shoulder.

"Absolutely, but honestly, this is the best part of the tour for me," he whispered back to her, nibbling on her ear when he had finished.

Cassie made a little purring sound from the back of her throat and closed her eyes against his caress. "You keep that up and I won't see too much more of the sights, babe," she replied.

"Would that be considered a problem?" Dan asked her again, moving his attentions from her ear and onto her neck.

"Well, not a problem as such, but have you noticed we have an audience?"

"Really?" Dan replied in a devilish tone. "Do you think we should give them a free show, or was it included in the price of the ticket?"

Cassie turned just slightly in his arms to look at him from over her shoulder. "You are feeling cheeky today, aren't you?" she asked.

"Cheeky wouldn't be the word I would use at this point," Dan whispered back, rubbing himself against her lower back as he did. Cassie felt, rather than understood his words.

"Got you knickers in a knot have we?"

"Number one, I'm a guy," he said pulling back from her slightly to look her in the eyes, "and guys don't wear knickers. And secondly, what I have is definitely not in a knot," he added, raising his eyebrows to convey the full extent of his message.

"Understood," she smiled back at him, reaching up to give him a quick peck on the cheek, "but if you don't take a couple of deep breaths right now, and calm down, you are likely to cause me to spontaneously combust, and the fire extinguisher is just too damned far away to be of any use to us at the moment. The damage and the fall out," she said, nodding over towards their mothers, "would be just too much to handle."

"Point taken...away," Dan replied, releasing his hold on Cassie just a little.

"Later, babe. I promise. We'll get some alone time later."

"I'm counting on it. Trust me."

"I do. Believe me, I do," she added before turning again slightly and leaning her head back into his neck to watch the view.

Their River tour lasted for just under the hour and a half. By the time they returned to Midtown, they had seen, albeit from the water, the Empire State Building, Battery Park, Castle Clinton and Brooklyn Bridge among other things. They had shared a drink on board and everyone was relaxed and happy. Rosalie had taken quite a few photos, making sure that she was in several of them to appease Emmett on her return home and prove that their annual girl's weekend away was more than just a shopping expedition.

It was nearing three o'clock as the group made their way back towards 5th Avenue and their hotel.

"Well, people, not wanting to put a damper on things, but I am feeling rather tired and a brief cat nap might just help me see things through this evening," Bella said. "What time did you suggest dinner again, Alice?"

"Around seven I thought wouldn't be too bad. It's early enough that the young ones can go out and party afterwards if they want to. Personally, I might take a night-time stroll up the Avenue after dinner."

"Have you got some place particular in mind to eat then? I am not quite sure I have anything classy enough for The Plaza restaurants," Bella continued.

"Not especially. I just thought we could head to Soho and have a look there. It's supposed to be the place to go to that has something for everyone, but I have heard of a place called Barolo on West Broadway. It's supposed to have a great combination of Italian and American style food, all reasonably priced too."

"Sounds fine to me. Should we make a booking?" Bella asked, not knowing the protocol for dinner reservations in the city.

"I'll handle that if you'd like, while you're resting," Alice offered.

Bella nodded her consent.

"How are you feeling, babe?" Cassie asked Dan as they walked behind their mothers. "You must be starting to feel pretty tired. Do you want to rest up for a while?"

"Sleep's overrated."

"But necessary."

"Sometimes," he conceded. "But I don't want to spend my time here sleeping - unless it's with you of course," he added quietly in her ear, trying to keep their conversation private despite its public setting.

"How about we go for a stroll through Central Park for a while then? There are a few quiet spots in there where you could catch some zzzs if you really need them, and I'll stay right by your side."

"You've sold me."

As they neared their hotel, Dan and Cassie told the others of their plan to go spend time in the Park. Sammy announced she was going to spend some time wandering around some more, but with a warning look from Cassie, also added that she thought the Central Park Zoo could be an interesting way to kill a couple of hours.

"Great," announced Rosalie. "I haven't taken you to a zoo in like forever. They will make some great photos for your father."

Sammy shot Cassie and Dan a death stare before turning to look at her mother. "Do you really want to do the zoo, Mom? I mean, really?"

"Oh, heavens yes. It will be fun. Let's go. Alice, are you coming?"

"I'm in. I just love the jaguars. They're so feline in nature."

"I'm into monkeys myself, but then again, brown bears are always just so cute."

"Have fun, you two," Sammy said sarcastically at Cassie and Dan. "Don't do something I wouldn't do," she added, smiling broadly.

"Bye, Sam. Enjoy the family time. If you're a good girl, maybe they'll buy you an ice-cream," Cassie teased.

Dan smiled sheepishly at Sammy as she, yet again, glared at her cousin. "We'll see you soon, Sam. Promise. We'll kick our heels up tonight after dinner."

"Whatever..." Sammy drawled. "Come on then, you two," she directed towards her mother and her aunt. "Shake a leg."

"Enjoy your rest, Bella," Alice said. "You should have a couple of quiet hours all to yourself."

"Have fun, all of you," Bella replied, looking towards everyone before settling her eyes on Dan and Cassie.

"See you in a bit then," Dan said as he and Cassie made a move to leave the group.

Once they made their way over to the south entrance to Central Park, Sammy, Alice and Rosalie headed off in the direction of the zoo, leaving Dan and Cassie alone for the first time all day. They walked for a few minutes before Dan pulled Cassie off the path and behind a set of trees, affording them a small amount of privacy.

"I have been waiting all day for the chance to do this," he said before pulling her into a tight embrace and kissing her deeply on the lips. Cassie relaxed into his hold, putting her hands around the back of his neck, and opened her mouth to welcome his kiss. For several minutes, the two of them continued to kiss each other, making up for lost time. Finally, Cassie pulled away, gently placing her hands on Dan's firm shoulders and looked up to smile at him.

"How about we find some place where we can just sit down and relax," she suggested.

"If relaxing involves me lying down, with you curled up next to me, I'm all for it," Dan responded, his forehead leaning against hers, his eyes boring into her own.

"I think that can be arranged," she whispered in reply before lightly touching her lips again to his.

"Lead the way young lady, or stay here at your own peril," warned Dan, his eyes letting her know everything he was feeing without saying anything further.

Cassie took Dan by the hand and led him along the paths that meandered their way through the Park towards a small area known as "The Meadow." This area was a designated quiet zone; no games, no radios or loud music - a space for designed specifically for quiet activities and reflection. It was just the area that they needed.

"How did you know this was here?" Dan asked her.

"We passed it yesterday. It seemed like the perfect place to bring you this afternoon for some quiet time."

They entered the meadow, which was littered with people, singles and couples, sprawled out on the grass, reading or listening to music quietly on their personal players.

Dan and Cassie found a spot on the grass near some shrubs, dappled with the afternoon sunlight and slightly more private than the open space in the centre of the meadow. Dan sat down on the grass, pulling Cassie down with him and sitting her in between his legs, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and nuzzling her hair with his nose, breathing in her scent. They were silent for a moment, taking in the surroundings and the proximity of each to the other, reveling in their closeness after three weeks apart.

"I have missed this so much," Dan said into her hair.

Cassie nodded her head in response, leaning back into Dan even further. "I was going mad at home. I was just so used to having you around all the time, the fact that you weren't was really getting on my nerves. There were times I was just so cranky. It just doesn't seem fair to have you for so long and then not at all. It just sucks."

"I know, gorgeous," Dan said, closing his eyes as he focused on her warmth and her smell. He leaned around to the side of her head and planted a kiss on her cheek. "It was only three weeks, but it felt like a lot longer."

"And we've only got today, and you're off again tomorrow, this time for months," she said, emotion creeping into her voice, despite her efforts to rein it in. "Have you talked to your mother about coming out for Thanksgiving yet?" she asked hopefully.

"No. Not yet. But it won't be a problem," Dan finished. "I told you she's seeing someone didn't I?"

"No," Cassie said, turning in Dan's arms to look at him. "Really? When did that happen?"

"When we were away, apparently. She met him a dance classes."

"What's his name?"

"Steve."

"What's he like?"

"I don't know. I haven't met him yet. I was going to meet him last Friday, but work called me in early so I missed him."

"Does your Mom seem keen?"

"I don't know, honestly. She sees him a couple of times a week at dance classes - she goes Tuesdays and Thursday evenings and they went out on a movie date night the other night. She seems happy enough. At least she says she is."

"That's a good thing for her, right?" Cassie asked, questioning Dan's tone.

"Yeah. It is. She has been alone for a long time. She's tried dating before, but it's never really gone anywhere. It will be good to see her happy with someone."

"How do you feel about it all? Really."

"It's weird.. you know? My mother in a relationship. It's new ground for both of us."

"Both of you dating at the same time, huh? That's going to prove interesting."

"What's going to be interesting is watching her have a relationship with her guy while you and I are separated by a couple of thousand miles. That's going to just suck, big time."

Cassie turned to face Dan completely. She put her two hands on either side of his face and leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips. That wasn't enough for Dan and he quickly pulled her into him hard, and kissed her back passionately. When they finally came up for air, Cassie leaned her forehead against Dan's and looked him in the eyes.

"This is not going to be easy for either of us. Are you sure you want to pursue this? "

"I am sure that I don't want to let you go. This, what we have here, Cass, is very different for me. Different from what I experienced when I dated Susan. I want this. I want you. I'm prepared to make a go of this if you are. I don't know how to do that though."

"Together. In spirit if not in body," Cassie responded. "This feels too right to let it go, Dan. I'm not going to promise that I'm going to be easy to manage though. I can tell you right now, being separated from you is going to give me the shits more times than it's not, but I'm in if you are."

"I'm in. No question. I'm in."

Cassie smiled at Dan, before gently pushing him to lie down on the grass. "For now, right now, I'm here, and you're beat. Rest up," she said, snuggling into his side as he settled on the grass, putting his arm around her shoulders and providing her with a make shift pillow of sorts. "Let's enjoy the peace and quiet now. I'll be right here when you wake up. Promise."

"I promise you to be right here too, Cass," he said, taking her hand and putting it over his heart. "Right here."

"Sounds good to me," she said. "Now sleep."

"M'k," he said. He was already drifting off in the sun. Within moments, he was sound asleep.

*******

Breakfast the next morning was a somber affair compared to the morning before. Everyone was more than just a little tired. After meeting back at the hotel at around six o'clock evening before, they had all showered and changed before catching New York's famous yellow taxis for the trip into Soho where they found the little Italian place for dinner.

After dinner, the Moms had gone back towards the hotel while Dan, Cassie and Sammy had gone out chasing the night life. For the second night in a row, Dan stumbled back in around two in the morning and promptly crashed, none too quietly, onto the spare bed the hotel had supplied in his and Bella's room.

After waking later that morning and then showering, trying to wake himself up in the process, he packed up his small overnight bag and made his Mom and himself an instant coffee from the facilities in the room. Leaving Bella's on the counter for her, he made his way down to Cassie's room and knocked quietly on the door. Alice answered it, looking much brighter than he felt.

"Morning, Dan. She's in the shower. Give her ten minutes and she'll be with you," Alice offered. "On second thoughts, make it fifteen - she's looking a little tired. Party hard last night did you?"

"Something like that," Dan answered, giving Alice a wicked smile.

"Word to the wise - don't go knocking on Sammy or Rosalie's door just yet. Sammy got her quick temper from her mother. You might just survive if Sammy is the one to answer the door, but if it's Rosalie, you've go no chance."

"OK. I'll be in my room when Cassie's ready. Will you let her know?"

"Sure thing. See you at breakfast," said Alice as she shut the door.

Dan moved off back down the hallway towards his own room. Realising he had left without his room key, he knocked quietly, hoping Bella was out of the shower by now. When she didn't respond, he wandered around aimlessly down the hallway, sipping his coffee and stopping to look at the artwork interspaced along the corridors. He continued to do this until he finished his coffee and then he headed back to try once more at his own room. Bella answered this time relatively promptly.

"I wondered where you had gotten to, although I didn't really have to wonder too hard. How's Cassie this morning?" Bella asked as she stepped aside and let her son into the room.

"She's tired and in the shower according to Alice."

"I should be surprised you're up and around, but then again, not really," she added, standing with her hands on her hips. "Cassie is really a lovely young lady, Dan, and I can see why you are so taken with her. Her family is really nice too."

"I'm glad you seem to have gotten on with them so well, Mom. Thanks for giving us time alone yesterday too."

"My pleasure, love," and Bella paused, as if she was trying to make up her mind whether to say anything more or not. She was looking at Dan, and he returned her scrutiny.

"What is it, Mom?" he asked her. "What's on your mind?"

Bella smiled at her son. "That transparent, am I?"

"Parent is the word, within that word, Mom, and yes, I guess you are"

"Right. So, then. You and Cassie. This is still real for the both of you?"

"Yeah, Mom. More now than ever. We're both agreed on that."

Bella nodded her head in response. "That's good for you then, Dan. I am happy for you. I can't imagine it's going to be easy though. When do you plan on seeing each other again, after today, I mean?"

"Well, Mom. Honestly, I was hoping I could afford to fly out for Thanksgiving."

"You'll go to California, then?" asked Bella, already knowing the answer.

"That's the plan," Dan hedged. "How would you feel about that? Me going to California for Thanksgiving?"

"Dan, you're a big boy now. You need to make your own plans. I'm fine with you going away for Thanksgiving and it's not like I am some old spinster without options. I think it will be good for you to go and see your girl." As an afterthought, Bella added, "That's quite a while away still, how are you going to hold out until then?"

"Don't know, Mom. Work in progress I guess."

"You'll work it out if you want it bad enough, love. Oh! Sounds like your girl is out of her shower," Bella said as she heard a light knock on their room door. "Don't mind me, I'll be off in the bathroom, putting my face on," she added as she disappeared with her coffee into the bathroom and closed the door.

Dan answered the door. A beaming Cassie was on the other side. "Good morning, gorgeous," he welcomed her, pulling her into the room swiftly and shutting the door behind him, eliciting an excited giggle from Cassie which he silenced with a passionate kiss. Cassie returned his kiss with just as much passion, lost in the moment, until she realized where she was and pulled back abruptly.

"Dan," she whispered, "where's your Mom?"

"In the bathroom," Dan replied, pulling her in for yet another kiss, cutting her off from saying anything further.

After a moment or two, Cassie pulled back again, putting her two hands on his chest as she did so to make it just that little bit harder for him to interrupt her again - not that she minded really, but still, they were in his mother's room.

"The others are ready for breakfast. We should head off downstairs," Cassie tried again.

Dan was difficult to persuade. Despite Cassie's attempts, Dan managed to seal her lips again with his own.

"I'm nearly ready, Cassie," came the call from the bathroom.

This caused Cassie and Dan to break apart, and Cassie giggled in response.

"Morning, Bella," she called through the door a little too loudly, not that it was warranted; the doors obviously weren't sound proof.

"Morning, sweetie. I'll be out in a minute. You and Dan can head off if you like. I'll join you in a few."

"Alright then," Cassie called back, "see you downstairs," she finished. She held her hands over her eyes and shook her head in embarrassment as she moved past Dan and made her way to the door.

"What?" Dan asked her. "She didn't hear anything."

Opening the door, Cassie stepped out into the corridor as Dan shut the door behind them. "I don't think she needed to hear anything, that's my point," Cassie replied, still embarrassed.

"She knows we kiss, Cass. That's no surprise to her."

"Oh, Dan. Just stop. OK? Oh, gawd. Am I ever going to stop embarrassing myself in front of your mother?"

"I hope not," Dan said, smiling, "I love to see you blush."

********

After their leisurely breakfast, Bella and Dan went to their rooms and collected their overnight bags. They had to leave by half past nine in order to make the drive back to Lebanon in time for Dan to start work. It was a quiet group that gathered in the foyer to see them off.

Cassie stood next to Dan, holding him tightly around the waist, willing herself not to cry, but failing miserably.

Likewise, Dan had his arm around Cassie's shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down her arm as a means of comfort and support. They both were finding this moment overwhelming.

"Bella," Alice started, "I am so really glad that we got the chance to meet. I have really enjoyed getting to know you, and now I can put a face with the name when Cassie speaks of you."

"I've enjoyed my time with you all," Bella said genuinely as she went to hug each one in turn. "It's been a pleasure to get to meet you."

"Thank you, and drive home carefully. There will be a lot of traffic on the road today I expect," warned Rosalie as she hugged Bella back.

Bella turned to Dan and Cassie. "Dan, love, I'll go over to the desk and get the car brought up and hand in the room key. I'll meet you out the front."

Dan simply nodded his head in response.

"Cassie, sweetie, you take care of yourself. Dan will keep me informed of what's going on in your life no doubt, but feel free to call me anytime you want to." Bella leaned in and gave Cassie a tight squeeze and whispered briefly into her ear, "You are very important to my son, so you're important to me too." Bella stepped back and moved over towards the reception desk.

"Bella, we'll come with you," Alice offered, giving Dan and Cassie a sympathetic look and then moved off with Bella and Rosalie. Sammy, however, stayed put.

"Sam?" Rosalie questioned.

"I've been through this before, Mom. I know where I'm needed," she said, turning her back on her mother.

"Right -o then, big boy," she said, looking towards Dan, "say goodbye to my cousin and I'll be waiting to catch the pieces once you've gone. Don't worry about her. I'll look after her sorry ass." With that, Sammy leant up and gave Dan a kiss on the cheek before heading off over to the lounge chairs to wait for her role in this melodrama to start.

Dan picked up his overnight bag and, holding onto Cassie tightly, moved towards the front door of the hotel. As they neared the entrance, he once again put the bag at his feet, and pulled Cassie into a tight embrace, trying to convey all he was feeling in that simple movement. He still didn't trust himself to speak, the lump in his throat making the process all but impossible. Cassie sniffled against his chest. His arms tightened around her instinctively and he rubbed his face in her hair.

"Thanksgiving, gorgeous. I'll be out for Thanksgiving."

Cassie just nodded her head again against his chest.

"I'll call you again when we get home, and I'll email, every day, even if it's only a word or two. You'll always be on my mind, promise."

"I know. Me, too." Cassie looked up into Dan's face, her eyes swimming with tears. "I promise too."

"O.K, gorgeous," and he learned in to kiss her, not caring who saw or what they thought.

After a moment, they broke apart, and Dan gave Cassie one last tight squeeze before bending to pick up his bag and, holding her hand, they walked out to Bella and the car which was now waiting out the front.

"I'll miss you, Cass," he said, bending to briefly kiss her lips one last time.

"I miss you already, babe," Cassie replied. "Call me tonight. OK?"

"You'll be on the plane tonight," Dan reminded her. "But I'll try my best, and I'll text you if I can't get through."

"OK."

"Bye, love," he said to her softly, kissing her once again for good measure.

"Bye," Cassie said simply as she let go of Dan's hand and he moved around to the passenger's side of Bella's little car.

Dan had his eyes lowered, trying to stop Cassie from seeing his own tears form as he got into the car. He chanced a brief glance at her as Bella prepared to pull out into the traffic. Cassie was standing there, on the black and white marbled square tiles out the front of the hotel, tears streaming down her face as she waved goodbye, Sammy and her family on the steps behind her.

"Thanksgiving will be here before you know it, love," Bella offered words of comfort to her son as she drove down 5th Avenue.

"Thanksgiving," was all Dan said in reply. His voice was almost inaudible.

* * *

Reading review puts a smile on my face. Wanna see?

Thanks for sticking with this story... guess who makes his long awaited appearance in the very next chapter?

There's no prize...just don't bring out the pitchforks.

Leisa


	10. Chapter 10

Welcome back!

I own lots of things, but unfortunately, not the canon characters in this story. They belong to SM, however, this story is mine. Please respect the ownership of this story and report any incidences of plagiarism of this or any other story out there. It is, at the very least, disrespectful to the writers.

Thanks, as always, to my terrific trio, and to Grendel – the goddess who is saving me from myself and my errors.

Ok, without too much preamble, here is the chapter many of you have been waiting for, but I do feel the need to warn you before you read.

Some of your suspicions have been right on, and for some of you, it might make you feel just a little uncomfortable. Now, I am asking that you stick with me here. There is a resolution to one critical issue in the very beginning of the next chapter. You've got the heads up, so on with the reading.

**Ch 10 – Thanksgiving**

"What time's your flight again, love?"

"Nine," Dan replied, swallowing a mouthful of cereal before he answered.

"So, you'll just go straight to the airport from work, then? I don't mind meeting you and driving you down so you don't have to put your car into long term parking for the weekend," Bella offered, sipping her coffee at the table.

"I've been thinking about that. I think I'll leave my car at work and get a bus from the city to the airport. Won't have to pay parking fees, and the busses run often enough, especially for this weekend."

Bella sat nodding her head while listening to Dan.

"And besides, it will give me a couple of extra hours at work to get some things done before heading off. You know, leave a good impression."

The week after leaving Cassie on the steps of The Plaza in New York, Dan had scored an interview for an internship with a PR firm in Manchester. It was a small company that handled business relations and company functions in and around Manchester. He'd gladly accepted the job because it was the first step in his chosen career. It allowed him to commute from home each day, which saved him the added expense of having to set up a place of his own just yet.

He was the office run-around man, the "go-fer" for the company, learning the ropes from the bottom up. The owners were a husband and wife team who ran a tight ship. There were only nine employees, and because it was a smaller sized firm, he got to experience things that he may not have had access to in a larger company with more personnel; it was one of the things that had attracted him to the job in the first place. He got to be hands on with the functions they organised, from the planning to the sequencing and organization of the event. He was on hand at most occasions to help ensure that things ran smoothly, and if they didn't, he worked to resolve them quickly.

When he went for the interview, Dan was worried that the trip he had booked to California for Thanksgiving would have been a stumbling block, preventing him from securing the position. While driving home from New York on Labor Day, Dan had called and booked a flight from Manchester to LA, praying that all the tickets for this busy holiday weekend hadn't already been taken. He'd lucked out and managed to get one of the few remaining seats on a late night flight on Wednesday evening, but not without having to pay a hefty price. He was way too late to secure any discounted fares, but he hadn't cared. He had been working two jobs at that point, and as far as he was concerned, he would save every penny he earned if it meant he could fly out to see Cassie for Thanksgiving.

Thankfully, during the interview, the owners had asked him if there was anything he should tell them that would help them to determine if Dan was best suited for the position. Dan had taken that opportunity to explain that he was already committed to a trip to California for the Thanksgiving weekend, which would necessitate him having the Friday after Thanksgiving off. He'd told them that should they offer him the position, he would be willing to work additional hours leading up to that weekend, including working late that Wednesday evening before his flight departed. Bella had counselled him to be upfront and direct during the interview process, believing that it was best practice to be honest with his prospective employers from the get go. It was sage advice, because it had worked. His employers, when calling to tell him that they had selected him for the position, had commented that it was his honesty about his intended time off and determination to honour his commitments that had made him stand out from the other interviewees.

"What time are you going over to Jess and Mike's tomorrow, Mom?" Dan asked as he finished off his cereal and put his bowl in the sink.

"Jess said eleven o'clock, which should give me enough time to do my bit towards the meal in the morning and take it over warm."

"Is Steve meeting you here or there?"

"Here," Bella answered. "He's actually coming over tonight after work."

"Oohh, sleep over," Dan teased, getting some bread to put in the toaster.

"Mmm," Bella replied vaguely.

Bella had continued to date Steve casually over the last three months. Steve's parents lived in Texas, and he was planning to go home for the week between Christmas and New Year, instead of Thanksgiving. He was spending the day with Bella at Jess and Mike's place and now it appeared that he was intending to spend a little more than just the day with Bella this Thanksgiving.

"So, how would you have taken me to the airport, if Steve was coming over tonight?" Dan questioned, trying to catch his mother out from their earlier conversation.

"I never said that I would be driving you in by myself now, did I?" Bella answered as she got up from the table and made her way over to the sink to wash her coffee cup.

"So, do you have plans for tonight, as well?"

"We thought we would go and catch a movie, and then go to dinner," Bella replied to her son's questioning, deliberately leaving out specifics. Just for good measure, she decided to tease him by adding, "Then again, we might just stay here with a DVD, take out and popcorn – the couch is much more comfortable than the theatre chairs." Bella couldn't keep the smirk off her face as she dried her cup and put it back in the cupboard.

"You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?" Dan chided her. "Teasing your poor, lonely son by throwing your own relationship in his face? What kind of mother are you to do that to your own flesh and blood?"

"One who believes that she's entitled to her own privacy, and who doesn't have to explain her whereabouts to her fully-grown son," Bella reminded Dan, turning to look at him with a smile firmly in place.

"Yes, Mom," Dan replied, putting on the voice of a dutiful son before adding, "but does that work both ways?" and raising his eyebrows.

Bella looked seriously at her son, crossing her hands over her chest and leaning back against the kitchen counter.

"Yes, I suppose it just might," she replied thoughtfully, nodding her head. "My mind is at ease when I know where you are, love," the conversation turning serious. "But I don't need to keep tabs on you. I haven't had to for a long time, but I do sleep better knowing where you are."

Dan nodded his head at the sentiments behind Bella's words before continuing. "Well, just so you know, Mom," he said cheekily, trying to lighten the conversation again, "I'm going to California to see my girl this weekend and make up for lost time."

"Ok, then," Bella replied, matching his tone of voice, "and will you be staying at Cassie's parent's place the whole weekend?"

"That's the plan; although, we might try and get away for a day or so on our own. We're hoping to anyway."

"But doesn't Cassie celebrate Thanksgiving with her extended family?" Bella asked, remembering an earlier conversation with Dan about the plans for the weekend.

"Yes, but they all only stay the one night, so family time should be over by the Friday afternoon, which leaves the rest of the weekend just for us."

"You're yet to meet Cassie's Dad, though, remember," Bella warned him. "Fathers can be a little protective of their girls, especially only daughters."

"Understood. That's why first impressions count, and I intend to make a very good first impression."

"I think that he will have a pretty good first impression of you in his mind before you arrive, and if you want your relationship with Cassie to survive, just don't blow it."

"I won't, Mom. Promise."

"OK, then, love. Well, I'm off," Bella said, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah, I'd better make a move, too," Dan agreed, realizing that the morning had moved on more quickly than he had thought as he crossed to the fridge to put away the spreads he'd used on his toast.

"Have a wonderful weekend, love. Say hello to Cassie and her family from me. And thank Alice again for that magazine subscription for my birthday. That was a lovely surprise."

Dan moved over to give his mother a hug goodbye, but then said, "I will, Mom, but you have already – a couple of times." He quickly held up both his hands in a sign of surrender when Bella glared at him. "I will make sure she knows that you just paw over the thing each month when it arrives, just in case she hasn't gotten that idea yet."

"Alright, smarty pants. Have a great time."

"I'll call you tomorrow morning once I get there."

"How about tonight – from the airport – just to let me know you've gotten there in time?" No matter how old Dan seemed to get, Bella was constantly concerned about his lack of punctuality.

"Right, like that's going to help you to sleep better tonight," Dan answered with a wink, "with Steve being here and all."

Bella just looked at her son, using a well-practised and perfected gaze that came instinctually with being a mother. That one look could say so much without uttering a single sound.

"Fine, Mom. I'll call you from the airport, but if you don't answer in five rings, I'm hanging up – just in case you're otherwise occupied, of course. I wouldn't want to disturb your privacy," he answered, waggling his eyebrows and reminding her of their earlier conversation.

"Off with you...you smart-alec," Bella said, clipping him over the back of the ear for good measure.

"Bye, Mom," Dan said, moving out of the kitchen and towards the stairs to retrieve his bag from his room.

"Bye, love. Be good."

"Always."

_And safe_, Bella thought, without saying it out loud before collecting her things and heading for the door.

*********

Dan sat back in his seat on the plane, readying himself for take off. He had made two phone calls before boarding. The first call was to Bella, as promised, letting her know that he had arrived at the airport in Manchester with time to spare. The call had been brief, because Bella and Steve had decided to stay in for the night, and Dan had the distinct impression, without anything being said, that Bella was a little distracted. The second call was to Cassie, who told him that she would be waiting at the airport for him in the morning when he arrived. She encouraged him to try and get some sleep on the plane, because they had a busy day the next day with all the family arriving for Thanksgiving. After all these months apart, Cassie was excited that he was just a little over ten hours away. Dan assured her that he felt the same way and the thought of seeing her again so soon was more than just a little exciting. Cassie had just laughed and told him to think of something really boring – like airline food – to calm him down before they disconnected with promises of seeing each other soon.

Once in the air, Dan put in his earphones to his iPod and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come. It didn't work. An hour later, he carefully rose from his seat to retrieve his laptop from the overhead locker. Once seated again, he turned it on and opened up some files he had saved.

In the nearly three months since Dan and Bella had spoken about his father and the events surrounding his conception, Dan had begun to researching the Internet with what little information he had. The resort that Bella had gone to in the late 80's had closed ten years later, so that had been a dead end. He'd started to Google the band name, Vamp, and had been surprised to find over eighty-six thousand files cross-referencing the terms "Vamp" and music. It had taken him a long time over the last few months to work through the many pages and links to files associated with that name. Whenever he could manage to catch brief moments of uninterrupted time, Dan had worked on wading through all this information at odd hours of the day and night. It hadn't become an obsession, but it was something that he had found invaded his thoughts regularly. Now that he had started his search, he wasn't likely to stop.

He had kept most of his research hidden from Bella. He had only told her that he was trying to make a connection between the band and its members but hadn't really found anything definitive, yet. Dan had always known this search would be a tough process for his mother. Despite her assurances that he was the prize in her life, he knew that the circumstances of his conception and her subsequent pregnancy still brought up feelings of hurt and pain from that time. Bella's future had changed forever that final evening of her end of school holidays in 1987. Dan didn't want her to have to relive any more of those memories until he was sure that he had found what he was searching for.

He had finally discovered a reference to a college band that had formed in the mid to late 80s and recorded a demo track. Further investigation revealed the names of the song's composers. After almost six weeks of diligent and patient research, this was where he got his first lucky break. Two names were listed with the demo, and one of those names appeared to be significant.

Further Internet research using that one name yielded such a wealth of information that Dan was in awe of the achievements of this one individual. Could this person, the name he had been so thoroughly investigating in recent weeks, actually be his father? In a weird twist of fate, this individual lived and worked on the West Coast somewhere around LA.

Dan hadn't told either Bella or Cassie exactly what he had wanted to do during with his time over Thanksgiving. If given the chance, he was eager to try and follow up on some of the leads he had discovered in recent weeks. This meant that he would have to tell Cassie what he had been doing and what he had learned so far, but that wasn't a discussion he'd wanted to have with her over the telephone or via email. He needed her help and support, but he wanted to talk to her in person about this. Truth be told, Dan was feeling rather anxious now that the paper trail he had followed seemed to point in the one direction. He wanted to discuss the next steps with someone, and he wanted that someone to be Cassie.

Cassie and Dan had spent the last three months communicating via phone and email, just as they had promised each other. It hadn't been easy. Their first squabble prior to Cassie's visit over Labor Day weekend had been repeated several times since then. Dan's work issues weren't the problem. It was the little misunderstandings resulting from confusion and carelessly written words that were so often misconstrued in texts or emails. Since their only form of intimate communication was the telephone, this was when they tended to squabble most. Frustrations over poorly worded communiqués, which weren't helped by the three-hour time difference, inevitably bubbled their way to the surface. Dan had stayed up late waiting to call Cassie until after her dinner time, and by which time, he would be tired and cranky after a long day at work.

What they both knew and understood was that this breakdown in communication was something they would have to get sorted if their relationship was going to work long term. While it still remained a challenge, they both sought to work on solving the problems rather than letting them fester. As committed as they were to each other and their relationship, the loss of physical contact was something that was going to undermine what they both wanted. While they weren't any closer to finding a permanent solution to the distance issue, it made effective communication all the more important.

Dan spent the next hour on the plane rereading some of the saved files he had found about the man whom he believed to be his father. He also reread many of the emails that Cassie had sent him in the previous two and a half months, smiling at some while cringing at others. It was after reading some of these that Dan finally began to relax and feel sleep wanting to overtake him. Turning off his laptop and storing it back in its bag at his feet, he stretched out as much as the limited space would allow and finally drifted off to sleep, thinking of his girl and the welcome that would be waiting for him when he arrived.

**********

It was just after three in the morning, local time, when Dan was awakened by the flight attendant asking him to prepare for landing. It was nearly four by the time the plane landed and Dan had made his way through the airport to collect his baggage before making his way to the pick-up zone outside the airport. Dan had texted Cassie upon landing, and she had assured him that she was waiting for him as arranged. He walked out the doors into the arrivals collection area before realizing that he didn't know what type of car Cassie was driving. He chided himself for not having asked her beforehand. He realized quickly, however, that it wasn't going to be a problem. He had waited only a few minutes before he saw Cassie running down the sidewalk towards him. He started to move quickly towards her, wanting to close the gap between them, and abruptly dropped his bags as she neared. She launched herself into his arms, almost winding him. Without a second thought, Dan hugged her close to him and breathed in her familiar scent. It felt like he was finally whole again, and when she pulled back briefly, he rushed in to kiss her firmly on the lips.

The young couple pulled apart when they became aware of a persistent honking noise nearby. Cassie quickly giggled, and then apologised.

"That's Dad," she said simply. "He wasn't happy about me driving down in the dark on my own, so he insisted on coming with me."

"Your Dad's here?" Dan asked, realising that his chance to make a good first impression was probably long gone considering he had all but mauled the man's daughter outside the airport.

"Yes, but don't worry," Cassie continued, "I warned him not to look if he didn't think he was going to like what he would see. Mom basically told him to wear a blindfold, which he didn't think was a good idea since he insisted on driving, but he got the general picture."

"Great. Just great. And Mom told me to make a good first impression," Dan remembered, while shaking his head and laughing nervously. "Good one, Dan. Slick."

"Oh, you'll be fine; don't be such a worry wart. Come on, I'll introduce you," she added as she took Dan by the hand and led him towards the car. "Stop dragging your feet; it will be fine. Dad's been told to be on his best behaviour. Promise."

Cassie's Dad had stepped out of the car as they approached and moved in to greet his daughter's boyfriend.

"So," he started. "I sure hope to god you're Dan."

"Yes, sir." Dan responded, nodding. "Dan Swan," he said formally, extending his hand.

"Jasper Whitlock, Dan," said Jasper, friendly enough. "I see you know my daughter?" he added cheekily.

"Yes, sir," replied Dan, looking at Cassie, who was beaming back at him.

"Now, son. I'll have none of this 'Sir' business - Jasper's fine. Seeing that you've just had what looked like your tongue halfway down my daughter's throat this early in the morning, I'd say we should at least be on a first name basis."

"God, Jasper. Yes, right. Sorry about that," Dan stuttered, feeling very awkward indeed.

"That's alright son; no need to feel embarrassed. It made the trip down here at this time in the morning worthwhile. Geez, if you'd just given her a peck, I would have wondered why the hell I'd gotten out of bed in the wee small hours at all."

Dan just stood there shaking his head from side to side, feeling embarrassed, but he realised that Cassie was just taking the whole thing in stride.

"Come on, then; get in the car. If we hurry, we might even be able to get home before your Mother wakes up," Jasper said to Cassie. "Shake a leg, girl," he added for good measure.

Dan went around to the trunk of the car to put his bag in, and then made his way to the rear passenger's door to climb in next to Cassie.

"Dan, ride up front with me. I've got an hour and a bit drive ahead of me. I don't want to play chauffeur or spend the whole time looking in the rear view mirror instead of watching the road in front of me."

"Oh, Dad," Cassie sighed.

"Cassandra. My house; my car; my rules. Deal with it. Your young man here respects a father's right to protect his daughter, and after the visual you two gave me, I think the safest place for all concerned is for your man to sit up front with me until I get to know him a little better."

Cassie gave Dan an apologetic smile as Dan stepped away from the backseat and shut the door before climbing into the front with Jasper for the ride home. Ground rules were laid; of that, Dan was certain.

The car ride along the coast back to Cassie's house in Santa Barbara was pleasant. Jasper kept Dan talking most of the way, while Dan sat with his back almost fully against the side door of the car so he could at least maintain eye contact with Cassie during the drive. They made good time and arrived at the house just before six.

"Right, then – you two," Jasper said as he turned off the engine after he had pulled up in the drive. "I'm going back upstairs to hopefully say good morning to my wife before she gets up for the day. Dan, make yourself at home, except for Cassie's room. That's out of bounds," he warned.

_Ground rules well and truly set_ thought Dan. _Territory's been marked._

"Aside from that, enjoy some quiet time before the family start to arrive. I'd say you've got about, oh, two, maybe three hours tops," he said, looking at his watch. "Right, then – I'm off."

"Thanks for the ride, Jasper. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, son. Cass, get this boy a coffee. He looks like he could do with one."

Jasper headed off into the house, and Cassie and Dan followed along behind slowly after retrieving Dan's bags from the trunk of the car. They had no problems at all filling in the time before Cassie's relatives started to arrive. They were so busy entertaining themselves, they were startled when Alice bounded into the living room after she'd finally gotten up from Jasper's wake-up booty call. This unexpected interruption did, however, give Dan time to squeeze in a quick shower and change of clothes. He was ready when Sammy, Rosalie and Sammy's Dad, Emmett arrived promptly at nine; punctuality, apparently, was one of Rosalie's trademarks. It was obviously a family trait, because Cassie's grandparents arrived shortly after.

"Grandma, Grandpa, I'd like you to meet, Dan. Dan, these two wonderful people are my grandparents, Esmé and Carlisle Cullen."

Dan froze momentarily before recovering and extended his hand to Cassie's grandfather. "Sir," he said formally. "It's nice to finally meet you. Cassie talks about you both, often."

"I'd hazard a guess that we have heard your name more than you've heard ours young man," replied Carlisle as he locked eyes with Dan. "We're glad to meet you, too. It is always good to be able to put a face to a name."

"Yes, Sir, and a name to a face," he replied in a quiet tone. "Cassie has shown me pictures of the two of you, so I already knew who you were when you came through the door. I didn't know your family name though; she always refers to you as Grandma and Grandpa."

"None of that 'Sir' business, Dan. Esmé and Carlisle are just fine," responded Esmé as she joined in the conversation for the first time before leaning over to give Dan a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Esmé," Dan responded. "How was your drive?"

"Relatively problem free, actually."

"That's great," Dan replied, a little distractedly. "Ah, Cassie said that you are staying overnight. Where are your bags? I can get them for you, if you like."

"Oh, really, there's no need. We can get them later."

"Honestly, it's no problem. Give me your keys. Cassie can show me which car it is."

"Thank you, Dan. That's very kind of you," Carlisle added. "Look after this one, Cass. He's a keeper."

"Oh, my god, Grandpa, embarrass me much? Let's go, Dan," Cassie groaned as she took the keys her grandfather proffered and led the way outside with Dan in tow.

"Carlisle, really!" Esmé admonished as the young couple made it to the front door. "Don't embarrass her like that. He's come all the way over here to meet the family. Leave her be. This weekend is a big enough event for the two of them without you weighing in on them, too."

The rest of what was said was lost to the young couple as they moved out onto the front lawn in search of the car.

Cassie sensed that Dan was a little distracted, and she reached for his hand as they walked towards the car.

"Are you, OK?" she asked, trying to sense what had made him so quiet all of a sudden.

Roused from his thoughts, Dan smiled at her, giving her that special look that made her insides turn to butterflies. "I'm fine, gorgeous. You're grandparents seem very welcoming."

"They are truly one of a kind. They have always been in our lives. I just love them to bits."

"I can tell. You're very lucky," he said as they stopped by the trunk of the car.

"Do you miss your Mom's parents much?" she asked with genuine concern, looking into his eyes, searching for what seemed to take him so far away in thought a few moments ago.

"Yeah, they were the cornerstones of our lives for so long. They gave so much of themselves to my Mom and me over the years. They were my only family. I miss them heaps," he said, his voice breaking a little as he uttered those last words.

"How do you think your Mom's doing?"

"I spoke to her this morning, briefly, after I landed, and she seemed excited enough about the day. She and Steve are going to a friend's place for lunch."

"Do you want to check in on her?"

Dan looked at this wonderful, young woman standing in front of him. His heart swelled as his eyes looked into hers, so full of warmth and understanding. "Yeah, I would."

"Where's your cell? Have you got it on you?"

Dan reached up to gently rub his hand over the back of her hair and around to the front of her neck, bringing his fingers to rest on the ridge of her collarbone. His eyes expressed everything he was feeling for her and her willingness to understand him and the depth of his ties to his mother. He leaned in and gave her a chaste but meaningful kiss on the lips.

He swallowed as he backed away and reached into the back pocket of his pants.

"Yeah, I've got it here," he said, finally answering her.

"Give it to me."

"What?"

"You heard me; hand it over."

He looked at her quizzically as he handed over the phone.

Without hesitation, Cassie unlocked it and looked at the list of recently dialled numbers. Selecting Bella's cell, she called it and put the phone up to her ear while holding out a finger warning him to hold on.

The call was answered after only a couple of rings.

"Hi, Dan, what are you doing calling me again so soon?"

"Hi, Bella. It's Cassie. Dan's right here with me, and we just wanted to call you together to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving."

"Cassie, love. It's great to hear from you. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, sweetie. How's the morning going over there for you?"

"Oh, Bella, it's chaos. Wonderful chaos, but chaos just the same."

"Is everyone there? Any late arrivals?"

"Well, Dan has just met Sammy's Dad and my grandparents, and I have an uncle still to arrive, but he is perpetually late. For a single guy, he's hopeless. Other than that, everyone is here; hence, the chaos," Cassie replied as she reached forward and took Dan's hand in hers to give it a soft squeeze, which he returned in kind. He pulled her in to hug her gently as she continued her conversation with his mother.

"It sounds very quiet for such a degree of chaos," Bella said as she looked around her own quiet house and over to Steve, who was leaning against the kitchen counter sipping on a coffee.

"We've just stepped outside for a moment to get my grandparents' luggage from the car. If we were inside the house, I'd have to yell so you could hear me."

"Well, that explains it."

"Dan's right here Bella; I'll put him on. What time are you leaving for your friend's place?"

"You've only just caught us. We're running a tad late. I'm just putting the finishing touches on the sweet potato dish I've made."

"Marshmallows?"

"Of course."

"Sweet!"

"Hopefully."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Bella, and thank you for letting me share it with Dan this year."

"You're welcome, Cassie. Give my boy a kiss for me."

Cassie smiled into the phone and Dan raised an eyebrow in question. "I will, Bella. Here's Dan," she said as she passed the phone to him and leaned in to give him a hug while he raised the phone to his ear to speak to his mother.

"Hi, Mom," he said as he placed one arm around Cassie and began rubbing circles over her lower back.

"Hi, love. Are you having a good morning so far?"

"Yes, I am," he said, looking down at Cassie snuggled up to him. "It's a great morning, but I was wondering about yours. How are you doing?"

"Me? Great. We're just about to head over to Mike and Jess'. They are expecting a huge crowd for lunch, so a quiet afternoon is definitely not on the cards."

"That sounds great, Mom. Say hello to Steve, and Mike and Jess for me."

"I will. Now, you go off and enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving, and stop worrying about me. I'm doing just fine. I'm a big girl, you know."

"I know that, Mom. I love you. Have a great day."

"You, too, love."

"Bye."

Dan pocketed his phone and put his arms around Cassie, who was looking up at him and smiling.

"Thank you," he said simply, hugging her even tighter to him.

She hugged him back, snuggling into his embrace. "You're welcome," she said as she released him slightly and lifted her face towards his before kissing him on the lips.

He returned her kiss, and they were both lost in the moment as the kiss deepened. He pulled her even closer to him again.

They broke apart suddenly when they heard someone clearing their throat loudly from over near the house.

"Is there a problem with opening the trunk?" asked Jasper, none too subtly.

"Ah, no, Dad. All's good!" Cassie called back as she pulled away from Dan, who fumbled with the keys to pop the trunk.

"Great. Just checking. Your mother would like a hand in the kitchen when you're done," Jasper added as he turned to walk back inside.

"Oops," Dan said.

"Oh, don't worry about him," Cassie said. "I'm a big girl. He knows it. He just likes his job, that's all."

"His job?"

"Playing Dad. Reckons it's the best job he's ever had. He loves being able to play payback. Apparently, my grandparents had quite a time chaperoning my parents before they officially became a happily married couple." Cassie blushed at her words, hoping that Dan didn't read too much into them.

"I can imagine your parents being a little hot and bothered."

"Oh, god, Dan, they're my parents."

"Yes, Cassie, but I can tell your Dad can hardly keep his hands off your mother, and I've only known him a few hours. Imagine what they were like when they were our age."

"I think that's what my Dad keeps remembering."

"So, we're really not going to get too much alone time this weekend are we?"

"Don't bet on it, Buster. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve and, if I'm lucky, an accomplice."

"An accomplice? Just what are you up to?" Dan asked with a grin as he leant into the trunk to retrieve the bags.

"You don't think that Dad was the only one to remember what it was like to be young and in love do you?" she said, but as the words left her mouth, Cassie instantly cringed and screwed up her face. "Oh, god. Word vomit," she said, hiding her eyes behind her hand.

Dan put down Carlisle and Esmé's overnight bags next to his feet, closed the trunk and turned to take Cassie's face in his two hands. He held her tenderly, waiting for her to remove her hand, and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Is that what you feel Cass? Truly?"

She was lost for words. Tears had formed and threatened to spill over, so she just looked back into his eyes hoping to convey the depth of her feelings and nodded her head gently.

Dan smiled warmly at her, pulled her into his arms one more time and hugged her strongly. He placed his chin on the top of her head, only to lift it again and kiss her there. "Me, too, babe," he whispered, caught up in his own emotions at that moment.

"Cassie! Kitchen!" came yet another interruption from the doorway.

Breaking apart again, Cassie yelled, "Coming Dad!" before she turned to scuttle back into the house. Cassie looked back at Dan when she reached the front steps and smiled at him shyly, before moving inside and passing her father who was leaning against the door frame.

Dan picked up the overnight bags again, and walked back across the front lawn and up the stairs towards Jasper.

"I know that look, son," Jasper said as Dan drew nearer to him.

Dan stopped and looked Jasper in the eye. They were the same height, and the two men regarded each other with respect as the silence between them lengthened.

"It's a heady thing when you fall for the first time," he continued, putting his hand on Dan's shoulder. "You're an honourable guy, Dan. I can tell, but that's my little girl in there."

"I know, sir," Dan responded, showing Jasper that he respected his role here.

"Treat each other carefully, son. Fine crystal doesn't just break when it's damaged – it shatters."

"With cotton gloves, Jasper. Delicately and reverently. I get it."

"I suspect you do, Dan. I'm glad we understand each other."

"We do," he said, nodding to reinforce that he understood. Dan began to move inside, but he stopped just inside the door. Turning, he asked, "Where do you want me to put these bags, Jasper?" The moment between the two men had passed.

"Up the stairs, second door on the right, son. Thanks."

"OK, shall do." With that, Dan moved on up the stairs.

"What was that little exchange all about, Jaz?" asked Emmett when Jasper moved back towards him.

"Just a 'father of the girl' moment, Em, that's all," Jasper replied, glancing over his shoulder to watch Dan as he made his way up the stairs. He looked back at Emmett with a small grin. He liked Dan but couldn't help his instinctive 'Papa Bear' routine. After all, he'd been young once, too. He knew what had been on his own mind back then.

"Yeah, those can be delicate. How did it go?" Emmett raised an eyebrow at Jasper.

"He's a great kid that one. His mother's done a hell of a job raising a son who has such a great respect for women," Jasper said, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back on his heels a little.

"She must be one hell of a woman herself, then," Emmett replied.

"That, she must be."

The morning was filled with a flurry of activity. The girls all worked away in the kitchen preparing mountains of food for the lunch they were to share. Dan tried to contribute but was really just getting in the way.

"Dan, buddy, come outside before they make you wear an apron," Emmett suggested as he passed the kitchen at one point. "Seriously, you don't want to be in the kitchen with five Cullen women. It's enough to make your manly bits switch camp, and I'm sure Cassie wouldn't be too happy about that turn of events."

"Emmett," warned Rosalie. "What did I say to you about playing nicely with others today?"

"You said I just had to play nice, not play fair," grumbled Emmett, before turning to Dan and saying under his breath, "See? This is what happens when a Cullen woman gets her fangs into you; you're a goner. You may as well just admit that now, and try to leave with your privates intact and still functioning, if you get my drift."

"So help me god, Emmett," Rosalie said, shaking her head and trying not to laugh.

"Going, love. This is me walking out the door taking this poor, unsuspecting bastard with me. I'll play nice now, I promise," he said, slapping Dan on the shoulders as they left the kitchen.

An hour or so later, with most of the preparations complete, the family was in the living room sharing a drink before lunch when they heard a car pull up in the drive.

"Oh, praise the Lord, he's finally here!" cried Alice.

"How late is he?" Carlisle asked.

"Only 55 minutes this time. He said he'd be here round about ten. That's an improvement," Alice replied, checking her watch.

"Dammit."

"OK, Em. Pay up!" Rosalie demanded.

"Did you two have a bet on?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, I said he'd be over an hour late, but Rose bet he'd make it here before that."

"How much did she take you for?" Jasper enquired.

"A hundred bucks."

"Oohh, that's gotta hurt," Jasper winced in sympathy.

"Hey! He was the one who wanted to bet for dollars. I wanted dinner and a movie of my choice." said Rosalie, defending herself.

"I would have gone the cash option too, man. Definitely the cash," Jasper whispered under his breath to his brother-in-law.

"I heard that," Alice said as made her way to the front door.

"Wanna go double or nothing that he forgets the candy?" Emmett asked hopefully.

"You really don't want to do that, Em," said Esmé, as she peeked through the curtains.

"Mom," cried Rosalie in disgust. "He's the just son-in-law; I'm your daughter. Whose side are you meant to be on?"

"All men's egos need a little stroking every once in a while, dear. Just doing my part."

"That's not all they want str-," Rosalie began with a cheeky gleam in her eyes.

"Rose! The kids are around!" Esmé admonished, stopping her daughter midsentence.

"Have you looked at the size of those kids these days, Mom? I think the need for protecting their delicate ears has well and truly passed."

"Really, Rose."

"You started it with the 'stroking' comment, Mom."

The family made their way out onto the front porch to welcome their late comer.

"Is your family always like this?" Dan asked, after having enjoyed the scene as it unravelled before him.

"Oh, that's nothing. Wait until they start on the wine over lunch and the afternoon extends into the early evening. You haven't even seen how quickly an innocent game of baseball can turn into something else, yet."

"Can you give me a few pointers, then?"

"For one," Rosalie said as she passed, slapping Dan on the shoulder like Emmett had done earlier. "Don't make a comment like that again."

Dan hung his head, shaking it side to side and laughing to himself. "I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

"Ah, huh!" Rosalie continued as she joined the others on the front porch.

Dan hadn't met Cassie's other uncle yet. All he knew was that he was Alice and Rosalie's younger brother, and he lived in LA and was involved somehow in the music business.

"There he is!" Emmett boomed as he walked down the steps to greet his brother-in-law. "You owe me a hundred bucks!"

"How so?" Cassie's uncle replied. "Did you bet against Rose again? When are you going to learn? She's always a step ahead of you. Well, five minutes ahead at least," he said, laughing and giving Rose a wink as he returned Emmett's bear-like hug with a back slap.

"Hey." said Emmett, catching on to the exchange. "Five minutes…ROSE!" Emmett boomed as he turned to look at his wife.

Rosalie held up her mobile in her right hand and waggled it at her husband as everyone erupted in laughter around them. "You phoned him, didn't you? You let him know what time he had to beat."

"Blood's thicker than alcohol, Em, but I really had to fly those last few miles," Cassie's uncle replied, slinging his overnight bag over one shoulder and putting his arm around Emmett's shoulders as they walked back towards the house.

Emmett muttered a few choice words under his breath as he made his way back up the front stairs and into the house, everyone's laughter still ringing in his ears.

"Hey, son," greeted Carlisle as he hugged his only son.

"Hi, Dad. Happy Thanksgiving."

"It will be, now that you're here, dear," cooed Esmé as she wrapped her youngest child in her arms.

"Oh, yeah, that's right, play favourites!" Alice chimed in as she reached for her brother to give him a hug.

"How are you, little one?" he asked her.

"Stop calling me that. I'm bigger than you."

"Only in years, short stuff."

"Excuse me, fully-grown mother here, Mr. I'm-single-no-progeny-to-speak-of.'"

"Yes, well. Getting an early start on that score obviously stunted your growth."

"Smart mouth."

"Squirt."

"Oh, good, things are just like normal. Hey, man," welcomed Jasper, sauntering forward.

"Jaz, great to see you." The two men hugged and pounded each other's backs.

"Yeah, you should really try and get here a bit more often, you know, before we forget to remember what you look like. Hang on. Who are you again? Edmund?"

"Oh, Uncle Jaz, leave him alone. Hi, Uncle Edward," Sammy laughed happily as she gave him a cuddle.

For the second time that day, Dan halted on the spot. What did he just hear?

"Hi, Sammy girl, how are you?"

"I'm good, now that you're here. Did you bring us girlies some treats?"

"Yes, baby girl. Just like always," Edward replied, tapping the overnight bag that was still slung over his shoulder.

"Yeah, you!" Sammy squealed. Some traditions were just too important to ignore. Edward had started bringing the girls all sorts of sweets and candies each Thanksgiving and Christmas since they were born. He was the family's resident sweet-tooth provider.

"Glad you didn't go double or nothing, Em?" Jasper yelled into the house.

"Humph," was all they heard in reply.

No one had noticed Dan standing silently next to Cassie, staring intently at the man who had just arrived. No one noticed that his smile had disappeared, only to be replaced by a look of confusion and concern.

"Uncle Edward," Cassie walked across the porch from her position against the railing to give her Uncle a peck on the cheek. Taking his hand, she moved to pull him over towards Dan.

Edward stopped to put his bag down on the porch before he followed Cassie.

"And who do we have here, Cass? Is this the young man your mother has been telling me so much about?"

"Uncle Edward, this is Dan. Dan, this is my uncle, Edward Cullen."

Dan stood frozen to the spot momentarily, before regaining his composure and reaching forward to shake Edward's hand.

"Hello, Edward," Dan said carefully. "It's nice to meet you."

"So, you travelled halfway around the world only to meet my niece, huh?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, she isn't exactly in your own backyard but at least from the same country, which must be a step in the right direction."

"Sir," Dan replied with a nod of his head.

Cassie looked at Dan, trying to gauge why he seemed so tense all of a sudden.

"Now that you're FINALLY here, can we get the damn food on the table? A man's likely to starve here before he gets fed," bemoaned Emmett from inside.

"Keep your shirt on," Rosalie shot back at him. "Stop being such a cry baby. I won that bet fair and square," she continued as she headed back in to the house.

Everyone slowly moved off the porch and back inside. Cassie took Dan by the hand and led him inside towards the kitchen. He was quiet, and she couldn't understand what had happened to make him so. She squeezed his hand before she let it go, giving him a large platter of baked vegetables to carry out to the table.

The table was located in the formal dining room that overlooked the back porch, which looked out over the expansive backyard. A pair of large glass doors let in the afternoon sunlight. The table was beautifully decorated with Alice's traditional Thanksgiving tableware that had been a wedding gift from Jasper's grandmother. The table was large enough to sit all of them comfortably and was very quickly filled with a large amount of food, as platter after platter was delivered from the kitchen.

Once everything was in place and everyone seated, Jasper, as head of the house, began the prayer of thanksgiving. He prayed that everyone gathered around their table this year would remember to give thanks for the joy that family brings and treasure the times that they share together.

After the prayer, Jasper ceremoniously carved the turkey. Plates were passed back and forth between young and old. Cutlery clattered and banged against terrines filled with scrumptious food. Conversation flowed easily, for the most part, but Cassie was becoming increasingly aware of Dan's silence. He spoke when spoken to, but on the whole, he seemed uncomfortable and distracted. Seated next to him as she was, Cassie reassuringly rubbed his leg and leant in to speak to him quietly. She was rewarded with only a brief word or two in response. The rest of the family seemed not to notice anything was amiss, but then again, there was so much noise and commotion around the table that Dan's silence easily slipped under the radar.

About halfway through the meal, Dan leaned over to Cassie and told her he needed to go outside for a minute. He excused himself politely from the table and went out into the backyard to get some fresh air.

Cassie watched him go with a worried look on her face. She watched him walk out into the backyard and stretch before moving over to the garden seat and sitting down, putting his head in his hands.

"Is everything OK, Cass?" asked Alice with concern.

"I don't know, Mom. Excuse me, everyone. I'll just go and check on Dan."

Cassie walked outside through the glass doors and over to her boyfriend.

She put her hand gently on his shoulder, which startled him, and he looked up at her. His eyes were full of some kind of emotion she couldn't place.

"Are you OK?" she asked him, genuinely concerned.

"Cass, I don't know. I don't think so."

"What's happened?"

"Oh God, Cass. I don't know how … I don't know what to say."

"Dan, what is it? What's got you so upset?" she asked, moving around him to sit next to him on the garden seat and taking his hand as she sat down.

He pulled his hand out of hers almost immediately and ran both of his hands through his hair, pulling at it savagely.

"Dan, I don't understand. What's wrong?"

He looked at her sadly, and then hung his head, putting his elbows on his knees and dropping his forearms between his legs.

"Dan, talk to me."

"I just can't believe this."

"Believe what?"

Dan said nothing. He just shook his head in silent reply.

"Believe what?"

"It can't be. It just can't be," he muttered to himself. His stomach roiled with stress.

"What can't be, Dan? You're scaring me here. What the hell is going on?"

Dan took a deep breath, willing himself to sit up and look into the eyes of the woman beside him. Concern was etched all over her beautiful face. It made him feel even sicker.

"Cassie, I don't even know where to begin."

"How about you try the beginning, and we'll take it from there," she said, rubbing her hand soothingly over his back in hopes that it would encourage him to keep talking.

He took another deep breath and nodded before continuing.

"Three months ago after coming back from our trip, I asked my Mom some pretty difficult questions."

"About what?"

"My father."

"OK."

"I haven't said anything to you before now. I wanted to talk it all through with you this weekend. Anyway, Mom's always been very honest with me about what had happened and what she knew, but I told her that I wanted to find him. I wanted to know who he is so that I could get some kind of picture about him."

"How did Bella take that?"

"She said that she had expected it to happen one day. I asked her if there was anything else she could tell me that she hadn't already. She remembered the name of the band that he used to play for. That was about it."

"Right," Cass said in a cautious voice, "and …"

"So, I started researching his first name and the name of the band." He took a deep breath and clutched at her hand, wordlessly asking for and receiving her support. She nodded at him to continue.

"And anyway, to cut a long story short, I think I've found him. At least, I think I've found out his name and roughly where he lives."

"Dan that's great. That's a great start."

"No, Cass; it's not."

"It's not? What do you mean?"

Dan started to cry; tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Cass," he choked.

"Dan. What is it?"

He put his face in his hands.

"I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...I didn't know...I just didn't know."

"Know what Dan? Come on. Talk to me, please."

Cassie and Dan's exchanged was being watched carefully from inside the house. Nobody could hear what was being said, but it was obvious to everyone there that whatever was going down wasn't good.

Suddenly, Cassie stood up; her hands over her mouth. Dan stood almost immediately after her. He tried to reach for her, but she backed away quickly. Dan put both his hands in his hair again and pulled it, almost like he wanted to pull it out by the roots.

Cassie gave a sob, her whole body shaking with the force of it, and before anyone knew what was happening, she ran from the backyard and around the side of the house. Dan stood there momentarily, swaying on the spot before collapsing back onto the bench seat with his hands over his head, pulling it down to his knees.

Everyone at the table moved at once.

Jasper was first out the door striding across the garden towards Dan. "What the hell's going on out here?"

Emmett was right on his heels; Rosalie and Alice behind him. The two women took off around the corner after Cassie just as Jasper reached Dan.

Jasper, irate, hauled the younger man by the collar of his shirt up on his feet just as Emmett reached them.

"What the fuck did you say to my daughter?" Jasper asked Dan, while Emmett put a restraining hand on Jasper's arm trying to calm him.

Esmé and Sammy stood at the back door to the house, hugging each other and watching as the events continued to unfold.

Carlisle and Edward reached the three men moments later as Jasper once again yelled at Dan, shaking him as he did so, "Answer me! What the hell did you say to my daughter?"

"Jasper, calm down," Carlisle told him loudly as Emmett tried to pry his brother-in-law off his daughter's boyfriend.

Edward went to help Emmett get Jasper off Dan. The whole time Dan was silent; his face grey as he retreated into himself.

Jasper shrugged off both Edward and Emmett, and he began to pace around Dan who had collapsed to the ground in front of him again. "I'll kill him; I'll fucking kill him," he muttered under his breath as he paced.

"Dan," Carlisle said, using the voice of reason, knelt down next to the young man on the ground and put his hand on his shoulder. "What has just happened out here?"

Dan didn't respond. He stayed crouched on the ground trying to control his breathing.

Carlisle tried again. "Dan, son, tell me what's happened out here."

Slowly, Dan turned his tear-stained face to Carlisle, but quickly launched himself towards the garden and vomited.

The four grown men, watched in horror as Dan heaved and heaved the contents of his stomach into the garden bed. All four of them were at a complete loss. Jasper was still fit to be tied and was breathing deeply trying to regain his composure. Emmett had a hand placed on Jasper's shoulder in an attempt to placate him and restrain him, if necessary. Whatever had happened had taken a huge toll on the young man in front of them.

When Dan finished vomiting into the garden, he knelt back on his haunches. Carlisle moved forward, offering him a handkerchief from his pocket. Dan took it without looking at him, embarrassed at what they had all just witnessed.

Carlisle gave Dan a few more moments to compose himself before he tried again.

"Dan," he said, placing a hand gently on the younger man's shoulder, "son, please tell us. What's happened?"

Dan slowly raised his eyes towards the elder man's face. He was very concerned what he would find there. He was mortified about what had just happened and didn't know how to explain any of it. It was all just so wrong; so very wrong.

Dan looked over his shoulder to Jasper. He looked him in the eye, before quickly dropping his gaze to the ground again and said simply, "I'm sorry."

Jasper didn't respond. He just redoubled his attempts to control his breathing while looking at Dan.

Carlisle held up a warning hand to Jasper, and then refocussed his attention on Dan.

"Whatever it is, Dan, you need to tell us. This involves all of us now. We all saw what happened, and my granddaughter is terribly upset. So are you. But none of us know why. Tell us, Dan. Tell us what happened."

"Is she pregnant? Did you get her pregnant?" Jasper spat the words at him.

"No!" Dan spun his head around to look at Jasper, a mixture of shock, horror and anger on his young face. "God, no."

"Then, what is it, son? Why are you so upset?"

"I didn't know. How could I have known?"

"Known what, son?"

"I had no idea. I met her in Australia for god's sake. I didn't know...I didn't know."

"What, son?"

"My father."

"Your father?"

"Cassie told us you don't know who your father is," stated Jasper, trying to make sense of the situation. This comment made Dan wince, and the other men flicked their eyes warily towards Jasper before focusing again on Dan.

"I didn't. I don't. I don't know." Putting his face in his hands again, he pushed back off his knees and sat on the grass. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on them before staring off into the distance unseeingly.

"What is it about your father, son?"

"I've tried to track my father down, since coming back from Australia. I think I have his name. I think I know who he is."

"Ok, Dan, but I still don't understand. How does that affect you and Cassie? What happened out here today?"

"His name," Dan began, and then stopped, his face twisting with anguish.

"His name?" Carlisle said, not understanding what could have caused so much grief.

"Yeah…"

"You know your father's name? And it means something to Cassie?" Carlisle hedged, trying to put everything Dan was saying together.

Dan just sat there and nodded his head.

"What's the name son? What's your father's name?"

Dan raised his eyes to look into the friendly eyes of the older man he now knew could be his grandfather. His stomach churned at the ramifications if it were true, and of what it would mean for him and Cassie.

"Cullen," he said in a dull voice, "Edward Cullen."

* * *

Reviews = happy me ;)) please???


	11. Chapter 11

As a tribute to all of you who have stuck with me, written such supportive reviews and are willing to ride out this wave with me (surfer analogy here folks), here is a little something to answer a burning question.

SM owns all twilight characters – and I just lurve mine.

**Chapter 11 – Home Truths – part 1**

A mixture of emotions spread across Carlisle's face in an instant – shock, disbelief, anger, distress, and understanding – all there as he looked into the face of the emotionally distraught young man on the ground in front of him.

Silence engulfed Carlisle as he looked from Dan's face to Edward's, who was standing motionless in a state of confusion and shock.

"Dan?" Carlisle said, looking back at him. "Did you just say that you think your father's name is Edward Cullen?"

Dan sat there looking at Carlisle beseechingly, unable to utter those words again without some kind of indication of support from the older gentleman. Taking his eyes from Carlisle for the first time, Dan looked towards Edward but said nothing. Dan nodded his head in response to Carlisle's question, keeping his eyes on Edward looking for any sort of reaction. Something – anything - would be better than the complete silence that was greeting his revelation.

Edward looked directly at Dan for a few moments before his eyes sought out his father's. Dan's eyes followed Edward's gaze as the deafening silence lingered.

Finally, Emmett broke the spell.

"Edward?" he asked quietly.

Edward turned his head slowly to look at his brother-in-law upon hearing the sound of his voice.

"Is this possible?" Emmett asked, verbalizing the one question that was likely on everyone's mind.

Edward didn't respond audibly; he just slowly shrugged his shoulders before turning his focus back to the young man still seated on the ground in front of them. Silence overtook the group again; each man lost in his own thoughts.

"Dan?" Carlisle asked moments later. "Are you sure about this?"

Dan took a deep breath hoping to clear his thoughts as best as possible before he answered. "I think so. I mean, everything I've found out to this point has led me to believe that it's true," he said, looking at Carlisle. "But, no. I have no real proof as yet."

"Alright then," said Carlisle, starting to gather his own thoughts as time passed. "And what exactly did you tell Cassie?"

"That I had begun to search for my father based on information my mother had given me, and that I had come up with the name, Edward Cullen."

"That's it?"

Dan breathed deeply before responding quietly. "Pretty much."

"Alright then," Carlisle said again, using the time afforded by those two brief words to further organise his thoughts. "We have a lot to deal with here," he confirmed, the practical side of his nature taking over and pushing away the conflicting emotions he was feeling to be dealt with later. It was a skill he had learned as a surgeon. At this moment, he was trying to focus all his thoughts and energy on dealing with the immediate problem at hand just as he would do when an unexpected complication arose during surgery.

"Dan," he started, once again focusing his attention on the young man still on the ground. "I need you to go back in the house. Clean yourself up and wait for me in the den. I will be there shortly," he said, looking Dan in the eyes.

When Dan didn't make a move, Carlisle put his hand on the younger man's shoulder to rouse him. When Dan didn't move, he tried again. "Dan, can you go into the house and wait for me in the den? There are things I need to take care of, but you can wait for me there. I will come and see you shortly."

Dan looked closely at the older man's face, finding a reassuring calm there that belied the situation. Registering what Carlisle had said to him, he nodded his head once in acknowledgement.

"Good. Emmett, can you take Dan inside? I'll be there soon." Emmett nodded, letting Carlisle know that he had heard and understood what he needed him to do.

Dan made a move to stand before halting and looking at Carlisle again. He said one word. "Cassie."

"I'm going to see her now, son. I'll see you, soon. Let Emmett take you inside. You need to clean yourself up."

Dan nodded again before standing and moving towards the house. Emmett walked slightly behind in case he needed to catch the young man should his legs not manage the journey. Dan silently passed Sammy and Esmé, who were still standing on the steps, not having moved since they followed everyone out of the house minutes before.

"Emmett?" Esmé asked quietly as he followed Dan up the small set of steps and onto the back deck.

Emmett raised his hand and placed it gently on his mother-in-law's shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze to reassure her that things were under control. Truth be told, he didn't know what to tell her. "Carlisle's coming in a moment," he said before repeating his gentle gesture to a bewildered Sammy as he followed Dan into the house.

Carlisle watched Dan move into the house before turning to focus his attention on his son. "Edward, I don't know where to really begin with all of this. I really don't," he said, shaking his head. "There is a lot we need to learn and more to discuss, but right now, I want to go and see the girls."

Edward was rooted to the same spot he had been in for several minutes. He directed his gaze towards his father as Carlisle spoke to him. Again, he nodded his head, still too stunned to speak.

"Whatever this is, Edward, we will get to the bottom of it. We're here for you, son, no matter how this turns out," Carlisle offered as a means of support.

He walked over to his son and placed both hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look him in the eyes. Edward, who was a couple of inches taller than Carlisle, had to look down into his father's distinguished grey eyes while trying to attend to what he was saying. "I want to go inside with Jasper and talk to Cassie. There are things she's obviously forgotten; things she needs to know." Carlisle paused, wondering what else to say to his son at this point.

Edward looked like he wasn't in any fit state to take in any more. In the last ten minutes, he had learned that he may or may not have a grown son. It was mind blowing to say the least. He needed time to regroup; time to process.

"Edward, take some time out here on your own. We will be inside when you're ready to talk to us. We love you, son. We are your family. We are here for you." It was the best Carlisle could offer at the moment but he hoped it was enough to reach Edward as he watched his son slowly retreat into himself.

He moved in to give Edward a warm embrace; a silent show of support to which Edward barely reacted. This was so not what any of them had expected when they had gathered for their traditional Thanksgiving lunch today.

Carlisle stepped away and caught Jasper's eye. He, too, seemed shocked by the apparent turn of events. His earlier anger had gone, only to be replaced with questions and concern for his family; not only for his daughter, but for his wife and their extended family as well. This was enough to have shaken all of them to the very core. Reaching for Jasper's elbow, Carlisle motioned back towards the house and Jasper, who took one final look towards his brother-in-law before walking away with Carlisle.

As they neared the steps where Esmé and Sammy were waiting patiently, Carlisle looked at his wife and smiled half-heartedly. It was meant to be an encouraging gesture, but Esmé knew better. She could see by the lines that had appeared on his face in the last ten minutes or so that whatever had happened here this afternoon was not going to be so easily dealt with.

Jasper, meanwhile, had moved into the house in search of his wife and daughter. They were his first priority right now.

Carlisle walked up to Esmé and kissed her gently on the cheek, whispering to her privately afterwards. After he had finished speaking, Esmé looked with even more concern out into the backyard towards her son. Carlisle whispered to her briefly once more before putting his arm around her shoulders and leading her inside. He gave Sammy's hand a brief squeeze as they passed.

Sammy, who wasn't privy to the details of what had happened to seemingly tear her family apart, stood out on the back deck alone and deeply shaken. She never thought that she would see her family crumble around her. Her Uncle Edward was left alone in the backyard; her cousin and best friend had run away in a flood of tears; her Uncle Jasper had dragged Dan to his feet by his shirt; and her grandfather looked like he had aged years in a matter of minutes. None of it made sense. No one had said anything directly to her to explain what was going on. For the first time in her life, Sammy was left outside the inner circle. The initial shock she felt was gradually replaced with anger and hurt. She wanted answers from the only person who could be responsible for all this mess. Storming off inside to go find him, Sammy went looking for Dan.

Meanwhile, Carlisle had placed an arm around Esmé's shoulders as they walked up the stairs towards Cassie's bedroom together. He briefly explained what had occurred outside, while Esmé said very little. Just like everyone else, she was at a loss for words.

They arrived at Cassie's bedroom door and knocked quietly before entering.

In the room, Cassie was standing in Jasper's arms with her hands covering her face. Alice was beside them both with one hand on her daughter and the other rubbing small circles at the back of Jasper's neck, her fingers stroking his hairline. It was an intimate moment borne out of pain. Carlisle and Esmé didn't want to intrude, but there were things that needed to be said.

Rosalie, who was sitting on the edge of Cassie's bed, turned as she heard her parents enter. She looked at them with a thousand questions written on her beautiful face, but not one leaving her lips. Her eyes, wet from her own shed tears, blinked rapidly as she looked to her father. He smiled weakly at her in response, before he cleared his throat softly to get Alice and Jasper's attention.

They both looked in Carlisle's direction, and Cassie turned slightly in her father's arms to look at her grandparents.

"It is true, Dad?" Alice asked in barely a whisper. "Is what Dan said true?"

"I don't know, love," Carlisle answered honestly. "Nothing much more has been said."

"How…?" Alice started, but stopped as Carlisle raised a hand to silence her.

"I don't know how, Alice. We don't know anything, yet."

Alice nodded, and in doing so, let her father know that she would ask no more questions for the time being. She turned her focus back to her daughter, and put her arms around both her husband and Cassie before burying her face into Jasper's upper arm.

"I think there is something that needs to be said before we all go back downstairs to try and get to the bottom of this," Carlisle started, trying to focus on his thoughts rather than the conflicting emotions threatening to make their way to the surface of his heart. He swallowed before continuing, willing the surgeon's head to take over. "Cassie," he continued, trying to get his granddaughter's attention. "There are things that you may need to be reminded of; things that you may have forgotten. Will you give your grandmother and me a moment to talk with you and help clarify some things?"

Cassie pulled away from her father slightly and turned to face her grandparents. Carlisle took that as a sign to go ahead. He looked to his wife, giving her arm a reassuring rub before continuing.

"Cassie, I think you may have forgotten this, because for our family, it has never been an issue. Sweetheart, do you remember that your Uncle Edward is adopted?"

Cassie paused and frowned, taking time to process what her grandfather had just told her. After a brief moment or two, she nodded slowly, recalling that piece of her family's story.

"Yes," she finally said, softly. "Yes, I remember."

"And I take it that Dan told you of his suspicions downstairs while you were in the garden. Is that why you ran away?" he pressed gently.

"Yes."

"Did you know any of this before today?" he clarified.

"No."

"Did, Dan?"

"I don't think so. He was very upset outside, but he wasn't like that this morning," she said, thinking back over the morning's events.

"Alright then," Carlisle continued, nodding gently to himself. After a moment's pause, he spoke again. "Cassie, you need to understand something else," Carlisle started. "Because Edward _is_ adopted, Dan is in _no _way a blood relation, even if he proves to be Edward's biological son. He is not related to you that way.

Carlisle paused upon hearing the little gasp that had left Esmé's throat as he spoke. Esmé was only beginning to process all the ramifications of what this turn of events may mean to her family. Carlisle kissed the top of his wife's head and continued to rub her arm in an attempt to soothe her.

"Cass, sweetheart," he started again. "Dan is not directly related to you. You haven't done anything wrong here. You need to understand this. If it's possible, in theory, that he is your cousin, he isn't related to you." He stopped there to give her time to process what he had just said. "Does that make sense?"

Cassie stood there looking at her grandfather for a moment before finally nodding her head. Her face slowly crumpled with a fresh set of tears. Alice swooped in to pull her distressed daughter into her arms, whispering soothing sounds as only a mother can do. She looked over to her father and signalled with her eyes that she felt enough had been said at this point.

"I understand, Alice," Carlisle said, acknowledging her silent message. "There's just one more thing I'd like to say," he continued as he looked towards his daughter asking for permission. Alice eyed her father briefly and nodded as her own tears threatened to spill over.

"Cassie, sweetheart," Carlisle said, redirecting his attention back to his granddaughter. "When you feel ready, there is a young man downstairs who is just as distressed as you. He has said very little and is waiting in the den for me. Your Uncle Emmett is with him," Carlisle continued, looking briefly at Rosalie to let her know where her husband was. Rosalie smiled tightly at her father, indicating that she understood. Turning his attention back to Cassie, Carlisle spoke slowly so that she could take in what he was about to tell her. "Cass, honey. He's in a terrible state, and I am going to check on him in a moment. He was physically sick outside in the garden bed."

Alice looked quickly at her father; his words drawing her from her own thoughts.

"I suspect he's just as shocked as you are, and from what you've just told me, I believe he had no idea this was going to happen today. Once I've checked on him, and if you feel up to it, it would be a good idea for you to go see him. I think he needs to know that you are OK, in a manner of speaking. One of the few words he has said since this all came out was your name. He needs to know how you are, love."

"But I don't know how I am," Cassie whispered, distressed. "I just don't know what to make of any of this," she said as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I understand, sweetheart. Truly, I do."

Carlisle became aware of Esmé's distress as she watched her granddaughter in so much pain. She had placed both her hands over her mouth to stifle the emotions that she fought to control.

"Dan's in the den. If you think you can see him - if you think you are up to it - he'll be down there."

Rosalie slipped quietly off the bed and moved silently out the door towards the stairs in search of her husband to let him know that Carlisle would soon be on his way down.

"If this turns out to be true, Cassie, none of this is Dan's fault. I know it's tough to think like that at the moment, but it's true. Dan hasn't done anything wrong. He's come out to California to visit his girl for Thanksgiving – that's all. He's not responsible for any of this."

"Then who is, Grandpa? Who's to blame?"

Carlisle paused before answering his granddaughter. He looked his son-in-law and daughter in the eyes before squeezing his wife's shoulder and said, "We don't know what the story is yet, sweetheart. We don't know what the truth is. There may be no one to blame here at all."

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Thanks to those of you who are leaving reviews. I am buoyed by your support and willingness to give this storyline a chance to play out. I hope your minds are a little more at ease now. Our favourite family is in for quite a ride over the next few chapters. Give me some feedback via reviews. I value each and every one of them and will respond soon.


	12. Chapter 12

SM owns her original characters... I just tweak them a little for my own purposes...

**Ch 12 – Home Truths part 2**

Carlisle kissed Esmé lightly on her cheek, attempting to reassure her with this familiar gesture. He whispered to her briefly that he was needed downstairs. He left her with their daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter for a moment longer before turning to leave the room.

As he left the room and headed towards the top of the stairs, he looked out through the arched window towards the backyard. Sitting on the garden bench – where Dan and Cassie had been together earlier – was Edward. Carlisle watched his son from his vantage point. Edward sat there motionless, staring out across the garden. Carlisle was concerned for his son as he watched him for several moments before registering that he was hearing raised voices from downstairs.

Carlisle turned and made his way down the stairs, each step taking him closer to the ruckus below. When he turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs, he saw an angry Sammy challenging both her mother and her father at the entrance to the den.

"I don't understand any of this," Sammy was saying rather loudly, gesturing with her hands as Carlisle approached from behind. "I just want to talk to Dan. Something's going on, and nobody's telling me anything. Cassie's crying. Grandpa took Grandma upstairs. Dad's brought Dan in here without so much as a word. Whatever's happening, Dan's in the middle of it and I want to know what it is," she finished, her voice emphasizing her anger and distress.

"Sam," Emmett said as patiently as he could muster in response to all of the noise Sammy was making. He was blocking the door to the den with his body. "Dan isn't up to talking with anyone right now."

"Why not?" Sammy demanded. "I've known him longer than any of you. Let me talk to him. I'll get to the bottom of what's going on."

"Sam, that's not going to happen," Emmett replied, looking sternly at his daughter.

"Dad," Rosalie said, noticing Carlisle's approach over Sammy's shoulder.

"Rose," Carlisle said softly, responding to Rosalie's single word of welcome. "How is he doing, Em?" Carlisle asked his son-in-law.

"He's pretty shaken up, I think. He's not said two words since coming in here from the bathroom. He keeps rubbing his hands, though, like he's cold or something."

Carlisle exchanged looks with Emmett, processing this information silently and nodding his head in return. He turned his attention back to his daughter, while placing a restraining hand gently on Sammy's shoulder.

"Rose, honey. Can you take Sammy somewhere else and explain to her what is going on?" After a silent nod from Rosalie, he turned his attention to Sammy. "Sam, I know this is tough for you to understand. We don't really understand much of what is going on here ourselves, yet. Your mother can tell you what she knows, which isn't much I'm afraid. For now, it's all we've got." He raised his eyes to Rosalie, hoping to convey to her the importance of telling only what they currently knew rather than speculation at this point. "In the meantime, I need to go in and see Dan to make sure he's OK."

Rosalie took Sammy by the arm and tried to guide her daughter away from the den and into the living room.

"Why wouldn't Dan be OK, Grandpa? Is he sick or something?"

"Your mother will explain things as best as she can, Sam. That's all I can tell you right now." He paused, looking at the hurt and confused face of his eldest grandchild. "Sam, we will all meet in the living room soon to try and understand this a little more. In the meantime, please, just go with your mother. OK?"

"Come on, Sam," Rosalie said gently. "I'll tell you what I can."

Sammy looked towards her mother and realised that she, too, was looking saddened and shocked by the day's events.

"Alright, Mom," she replied as she started to move down the hall. Sammy stopped and turned to look at her father. "Dad?"

"Yes, sweets," Emmett responded kindly.

"Uncle Edward is still in the backyard. At least, he was when I came inside. He's all by himself out there."

"I know," Emmett said. "I'll head out there and check on him in a minute," he added, looking over to Carlisle for confirmation.

"That would be good, Em. Thanks," Carlisle agreed, nodding his head yet again. By accepting his son-in-law's suggestion, it helped ease Carlisle's own concerns as the still fresh image of his son sitting alone on the garden bench flashed before his eyes.

"I'll go now, then," Emmett said. He made to leave, stopping only once when Carlisle put a restraining hand on his arm.

Carlisle looked over Emmett's shoulder and waited until the girls had moved around the corner before speaking again. "Has Dan said anything else, Em? Anything at all?"

"No, Carlisle. Nothing. Like I said, he's just sitting there looking lost and confused, and rubbing his hands. There might be something else," Emmett added, almost as an afterthought. "He looks a little shaky. I haven't pushed things or asked him anything."

"Alright, son. Thanks."

"I'll check on Edward, Dad," Emmett said, using a term he rarely did to address his father-in-law. Emmett instinctively understood that this afternoon was taking a far greater toll on Carlisle than he was prepared to show. "I'll stick close by him until he's ready to come inside."

Carlisle smiled thinly, genuinely touched by Emmett's obvious words of care and concern for the whole family.

Emmett left, moving down the hall and out the doors into the backyard. He saw Edward sitting on the bench seat and slowly made his way over to him.

Carlisle, in the meantime, put his hand on the door knob of the den, knocked softly, and then entered not waiting for an answer.

Dan was sitting on one of the large leather armchairs in the den, his body tense and his head bowed, rubbing his hands together. If he heard Carlisle's soft knocking, he didn't have the courage to look up to see who had walked in.

"Dan?" he said softly, introducing his presence. "It's me, Carlisle," he said patiently, waiting for the younger man to notice him.

Dan looked up slowly, his eyes making contact with Carlisle's briefly before dropping them down to the floor again. "Have you seen, Cassie, yet?" Dan asked, almost inaudibly as if by asking the question quietly would lessen the impact of the response.

"Yes, son. I have." Carlisle answered just as quietly.

Dan's head nodded slowly before he continued. "How is she?" he asked, not looking up.

"She's alright, Dan. She's upset. Esmé and her parents are with her, but she's basically alright. Like the rest of us, she's a little shocked," Carlisle responded, trying carefully to choose words that would not upset this young man any more than he was already.

While Carlisle had been answering Dan's questions, his physician's mind had been looking him over to check for any clinical signs and symptoms that might explain how Dan was presently coping. He was unable to see his face or eyes because his head was bent down too low, but Carlisle noticed what Emmett had mentioned – Dan was continuously rubbing his hands.

Dan had said nothing in response to Carlisle's explanation of how Cassie was doing. The silence between the two men lengthened while Carlisle continued to observe Dan.

Finally, Carlisle moved closer to Dan and crouched down on the plush carpet in front of him. "Dan, are you feeling cold?"

"Yeah, a little," Dan conceded, looking towards Carlisle. "I can't seem to warm up my hands."

"Have you been sitting down the whole time you've been in here, son?" Carlisle asked again, wanting to keep Dan talking. Now that Dan was looking directly at him, Carlisle hoped to be able to observe him more closely.

"Yes. I went to get a change of shirt and go to the bathroom, and then Emmett brought me straight in here after that. I've been here - waiting - ever since."

Emmett had been right, Carlisle noted. Dan's chin was, in fact, quivering involuntarily. He suspected Dan was experiencing a mild case of shock – a real possibility after a physically or emotionally charged experience. Carlisle wanted Dan to start moving around a little to improve his circulation.

"It might do you some good to stretch your legs for a minute, son," Carlisle suggested. He stood, encouraging Dan wordlessly to do the same. "Just give your arms and legs a bit of a shake, Dan. You should warm up in no time," Carlisle suggested.

Dan did as he was told. He felt a little stupid and self-conscious in front of Cassie's grandfather while doing so, but he noticed that he did start to feel a little warmer.

"Carlisle," Dan started, not knowing how to phrase what he wanted to say next.

"Yes, Dan."

"I didn't know. I really didn't know," Dan began. "Cassie's never mentioned your family name. She's a Whitlock. Sammy's a McCarty. I had no idea that your family name was Cullen – none at all." Dan's spoke hurriedly, his emotions in check but never far from the surface.

Carlisle wanted to calm and reassure Dan that he believed him. What he'd just said had confirmed for Carlisle the information he had been given from Cassie upstairs. Dan was as caught off guard as they had all been by this chain of events.

"It's alright, son. I believe you," Carlisle said, trying to convey sincerity with his voice. He paused briefly before continuing. "When did you first realise that our family name was Cullen, Dan?"

"Today, after Cassie introduced you and Esmé. Still, it didn't really mean anything. I mean, I was a little taken aback at first, but I thought it was just a coincidence. It could happen…you know?"

Carlisle nodded his head in reply, not wanting to interrupt Dan now that he was finally talking freely.

"And then, today," Dan paused, "when he arrived," referring to Edward without actually saying his name, "it all just came crashing down – everything. I felt like I was on autopilot going through the motions. I just couldn't believe it was actually happening. I couldn't even think straight anymore. It was all too much. I had to leave the table when I did."

At this point, Carlisle spoke up, wanting Dan to understand that he wasn't here to judge him or drill him. "I understand that, Dan. Nobody who saw what happened out there would have thought anything different." He paused, wanting to reassure him more. "Dan, this isn't your fault. It's just something that has happened, that's all."

Dan looked at the older man, unsure how to express the mixed emotions swirling around in his mind. He was worried about Cassie and their relationship, or what was left of it, if anything. He wondered what the man in the backyard was thinking. He wondered what the whole family was thinking. It was all such as mess.

"It's not like this is a walk in the park or a dinner out, Carlisle. It doesn't _'just happen'._ This," he said, tossing his head and gesturing with his arm, "this is altogether something else."

"I get that. Dan, please. I am not here to judge this situation at all. We'll work through it, I promise you. We'll get to the bottom of things."

"The bottom of things? Yeah, right. As if there is a way out of this fucked up mess," Dan said angrily, forgetting his manners and turning away from Carlisle. He walked over towards the window that looked out over the front yard.

Carlisle gave the young man some time to calm down before he tried to engage him in conversation.

"Dan, I have something I need to tell you. Something you need to know."

"Did Cassie say anything about me? Anything at all?" Dan asked, not registering that the elder man had spoken.

"She's pretty shocked and upset, Dan," Carlisle responded, reinforcing his words from earlier. "She did say that you weren't upset at all this morning when she picked you up from the airport, which tells me that this was a surprise for you, too."

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs in her room."

Dan stood there, looking out the window with his hands in the pockets of his pants.

Silence stretched between the two men again. Carlisle was about to try and get Dan's attention again, when Dan asked another question. One Carlisle didn't know the answer to.

"Does she want to see me?"

Carlisle could sense, even without being able to see into the younger man's face, that his emotions were ready to overtake him again. How was he to answer this question? How was he to allay the boy's fears when he didn't know the answer?

Dan took Carlisle's momentary silence as evidence that his relationship with Cassie was damaged beyond repair.

"She doesn't, does she," Dan said, not turning from the window. It was a statement, not a question.

Realising he had to act quickly, Carlisle drew a breath and prepared to tell Dan what he needed to hear when he was thwarted, yet again.

"Yes, she does," said a voice from the door of the den.

Dan turned instantly.

Cassie was standing inside the doorway to the den and looking directly at Dan. She was trying to remain calm, despite the intense emotions the moment brought forward. "I do, Dan. I do want to see you."

"Cassie," Carlisle said warmly. "I'm glad to see you here." He walked over to his granddaughter and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Cassie leaned into her grandfather's kiss, but her eyes remained firmly locked on Dan's. Neither of them broke their gaze.

Dan hadn't moved since he'd heard her voice. He was at a loss as to what to do next.

"Grandpa, I'd like to talk with Dan, please. Would that be alright?" Cassie asked, still looking at Dan.

"Yes, sweetheart, that would be fine. I was just about to explain some things to Dan. Things we haven't had a chance to discuss yet. Would you like to do that? I can stay if you think it would help," he added, trying to get her to focus on what he was telling her without having to say the precise words out loud.

Realising a little late what her grandfather had just offered, Cassie broke eye contact with Dan momentarily and focused on Carlisle. "You haven't told him, yet…about…?" Her unfinished question hanging in midair.

"No. We were just getting to that bit, sweetheart. Would you like me to stay?" Carlisle asked again, unsure if Cassie would need his support.

"No, thank you, Grandpa. I can talk to Dan on my own. We'll be fine," she finished, looking away from her grandfather and back to meet Dan's eyes.

Dan's expression changed from one of resignation to confusion as he registered her words. Cassie tried to reassure him with a tentative smile.

"Alright, then," Carlisle replied, offering silent encouragement with a gentle squeeze of her arm. "I'll be in the living room should you need me at all." He leant towards his granddaughter, whispering in her ear before leaving, "I'm proud of you, Cass."

Turning to focus his attention on Dan, Carlisle said, "Dan, I'll leave you in Cassie's capable hands. We'll be in the living room when you're ready to come find us."

Unable to take his eyes from Cassie, Dan nodded once, grateful to Carlisle. "Thank you for everything, Carlisle."

"You're welcome, son," he said simply. He walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Cassie and Dan continued to stand and stare at each other, both not wanting to break the bond that had reconnected them. Cassie was the first to make a move.

"Dan, we've got a lot to talk about. Would you come over here and sit with me? Please?"

Feeling like his words were stuck in his throat, Dan simply nodded and moved towards the large leather sofa in the den. Cassie sat down on it first, leaving room for Dan to join her. They sat sideways on the sofa facing each other as the silence enveloped them. Again, Cassie was the first one to break it.

"I'm sorry I ran away from you before," she started. "What you said…it was just such a shock. I couldn't get my head around it. It was a gut reaction, but it was the wrong thing to do. I'm sorry, babe," Cassie finished, using her pet name for him.

"I had a similar reaction not long after," Dan replied wryly. "I threw up in your mother's garden bed."

"Yeah, I heard about that. I'm sorry, Dan," she said, reaching for his hand but letting it fall short. "I probably," she paused, rethinking her words. "No, I _definitely_," she corrected herself, "contributed to that."

"It wasn't your fault, Cass," he said, trying to stop her from blaming herself for what happened. "I think it would have happened anyway. I was literally sick to my stomach."

"I get that," she answered honestly. "Dan," she started again, "when Grandpa came upstairs, he reminded me about something to do with our family that I knew but had long since forgotten. It's something we never think about or discuss. So, I didn't remember it straight away."

Dan looked at her blankly, not understanding what she was trying to get at.

"Dan, my Uncle Edward…well, he isn't Grandma and Grandpa's biological son. They adopted him several years ago when he was not much more than a baby."

Cassie stopped speaking at that point, wanting to give Dan time to process the news, just like her Grandfather had done for her upstairs. She waited, watching for some kind of response from Dan showing that he understood the gist of what she was saying. When his silence continued, she realised that she needed to say something more.

"Dan, Uncle Edward is my uncle, but he's not related to me. He's not Carlisle and Esmé's biological son. He's not a blood relative. He's adopted."

Dan was looking at Cassie intently. She could tell he was trying to make sense of everything she was telling him. Giving him more time, she sat and waited for him to think this new information through.

"Do you mean..?" Dan started, slowly coming round to the point Cassie was making. "Do you mean that he isn't really your uncle?"

"Well, legally, he is my uncle, and Carlisle and Esmé's son. But he is not a blood relation."

Dan sat there stunned, yet again. This afternoon was turning into quite the ride for him.

"So, you see," Cassie said, reaching for his hand again and taking it securely in her own. "It's OK, Dan. We're OK. Our relationship isn't wrong. We haven't done anything wrong." She spoke slowly, wanting to make things as clear as possible.

Dan processed her words as a variety of emotions on his face registered in a matter of seconds. Finally, he found the words he wanted to say to her.

"You mean…we're good? You still want to be with me? You still…" he couldn't finish his thought. He just couldn't risk saying those words only to have her run again.

"Yes, babe. We're good. I still love you, and it's not wrong for me to love you. We're not wrong."

Cassie had surprised herself by not shedding a single tear since entering the room. She was proud of herself. She had risen to the challenge presented by this afternoon's events and had come through for both herself and Dan. Looking at him, she could see that Dan wasn't fairing quite as well. He was sitting there in stunned silence with tears slowly running down the outside of his cheeks. He was breathing deeply and trying to get his emotions under control, his eyes unfocused as he stared at her hand in his.

Cassie was prepared to give him space to come to terms with what she had just told him. She sat silently, letting him hold her hand. He began to knead it, feeling her skin move under his. The loving gesture centered him, slowly bringing him back to her.

After what seemed like minutes but was possibly much less, Dan whispered, "Awh, Cass," and pulled her into his arms and held her close. He tucked his face into the hollow of her neck and wrapped his arms tightly around her torso.

They stayed like this for some time, Cassie whispering to him softly as the tears he had tried so desperately to hold back spilled over. She knew he was crying, not because of any sound that he made, but because of the dampness she could feel through the fabric of her shirt. It didn't matter to her. They were in each other's arms, and she would hold him like this for as long as he needed. There were no words to describe the intensity of their emotions at this point. It was a time to just be, to reconnect, and to try and repair the damage that the events of the afternoon had caused.

Finally, he pulled back, looked into Cassie's eyes and asked her the most important question of the day so far.

"Are you sure, Cass? Are you sure you can handle this? Whatever the fallout may be?"

"I have no idea what all this will come to, Dan," she replied honestly, "but I can tell you this. Despite my actions earlier this afternoon, I mean what I say when I tell you that I love you. I will be by your side as we work through this. I can promise you that."

"I love you, Cass." It was the first time he had uttered those words to her.

"And I, Dan, love you back," Cassie told him. There was not a hint of doubt in her voice. She then said something that reminded him of their first intimate talk on the beach back in Australia. "Baby steps, Dan. Small steps forward from here on out, but we'll take them together."

Dan said nothing to her in reply. He just leaned in and kissed her softly, sweetly and tenderly. It said more than any words he could have come up with at that point.

They sat back and looked at each other, both of them breaking into a small smiles at the same time, another indication of their growing synchronicity.

After a moment or two, Dan had lifted his hand to gently stroked the side of Cassie's face and pushed part of her short blonde bob back behind her ear. He asked another question.

"What do we do now?"

"As scary as it might seem, we have a family out there who are no doubt interested in finding out some answers to some pretty tough questions," she summarised effectively. "Do you think you're up to facing them, yet?"

"I'm going to have to at some point. After what I've done to ruin Thanksgiving lunch, now seems as good a time as any."

"You do have a point. It's unlikely that Thanksgiving will be remembered the same way ever again in the Cullen family."

"Yeah. Not in the Swan family either, I can imagine."

"I wonder how Bella is going to feel about all of this," Cassie said suddenly, realising that she hadn't even considered what Bella's reaction to this news might be.

"Actually, I can't imagine any she'll considered any of this good news. I haven't even told her that I'd come up with a name."

"Really?"

"Cass, you were the first person I was going to discuss this with. I haven't said a word to a soul about it. What a way for that cat to come out of the bag, huh?"

"Do you want to call, Bella, then? We could call her now."

"No. No, no, no, no." Dan repeated. "I can't tell her over the phone, just like I wouldn't talk to you about this over the phone. I'll tell her when I get back. I don't know how I'll do that, but I'll tell her when I get home."

"Well, we've got time to work that out, I suppose," Cassie considered. "For right now, we have to go out that door and face the family."

The look of stress and apprehension crossed Dan's features in that moment, prompting Cassie to reach out for him with both her hands and place them on either side of his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"Together, side by side, is how we will do this, Dan. You and me. Together. A united front."

Dan looked at his girl, so thankful that he could still call her that. For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, he simply nodded his head in response.

"Babe, there is a lot of stuff we are still going to have to talk about, talk through and work out. This isn't going to be easy for any of us, but I'm in if you're in." He smiled briefly, recalling yet another similar conversation nearly three months ago in the meadow in Central Park.

"I know, Cass. I know. It blows my fucking mind to think about what this is going to turn into. There's so much I wish I had taken the chance to tell you before now but didn't, and now you will hear it the same time as everyone else. That's not the way I wanted to do this. It really wasn't. Understand that, please? I didn't want you to find out anything about my story this way."

"I know that. There's a lesson here for all of us. There is probably no right time for some talks, but other times are definitely better than others," she said wisely, still surprised at how easy it was to support Dan now that she was over the initial shock. "Come on," she said, getting up from the sofa and holding her hand out to him. "There's no time like the present. Let's go out there and face what's ahead of us," she said, forcing her voice to sound brighter and more confident than she felt.

Dan stood and took her hand in his before pulling her close and into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head, before bending even lower to capture her lips with his. It wasn't a fiery passionate kiss like the one they had shared this morning at the airport. It was slower, emotionally deeper, and filled with love, warmth and acceptance.

When they broke apart, he placed his forehead against hers, looked into her eyes and whispered the only two words he could think to say at this juncture. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Her simple reply accompanied by a smile.

They made their way out of the den. The hallway was empty, and Cassie took Dan by the hand to lead him around past the stairwell and into the living room.

As they turned the corner, everyone's conversation halted abruptly. All eyes were on them as they stood hand in hand looking at everyone assembled in the room. The last set of eyes Dan sought were those belonging to Edward, who wasn't looking at them. His back was turned towards them, while he stared through the lace curtains and out across the front lawn. After a moment's pause, Edward must have registered the silence. Turning around, he locked eyes with Dan from across the other side of the room.

The two men stood there, eyeing each other in silence, neither showing any kind of emotion.

The moment was broken by Carlisle, who spoke into the silence, drawing everyone's attention.

"Well, everyone. Now that Dan and Cassie are here, we might be able to begin understanding a little more about this." Turning to Dan and Cassie, Carlisle continued, "Dan, Cassie, come sit down and join us." He indicated a spare sofa for them to sit on. "Edward?" he looked towards his son. "Why don't you come and sit down, too?"

"I'm fine where I am, thanks," he said tersely.

Dan halted mid-step as he and Cassie were making their way to the sofa Carlisle had indicated.

This talk was off to a rocky start already, and it hadn't even yet begun.

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

17

**Chapter 13 – There's always two sides to the Truth**

If things had been different and had he not been holding one of Cassie's hands at the time, Dan might have turned and challenged Edward right then and there. He might have let his hurt, anger and frustration take over. He might have lashed out at the man standing across the room from him. As it was and with Cassie's hand firmly in his providing him a lifeline of sorts, he paused only briefly before her gentle tugging urged him over to the sofa that Carlisle had indicated.

Together they sat down, side by side, holding hands and faced her family. Things were about to get interesting.

Silence, a common theme over the last few hours, had once again settled on the group. There were brief glances amongst the people gathered there. Some offered support and some sympathy, while others were just plain curious. All except one, who remained stoically emotionless. His face gave away nothing. There was no indication at all as to what he was thinking or feeling. It was unnerving to say the least, and Dan felt his stomach tighten as he tried to work out how to begin this discussion.

Edward remained standing over by the large windows that ran the length of the living room. He looked at Dan, who was seated with Cassie on the sofa, and his eyes focussed on the young man's looks. He was tall and his hair had similar russet tones as his own, but his eyes were different. From this distance, Dan's were brown. Edward's eyes were a bright green, an indication of the Irish heritage from his birthparent's lineage.

Edward really hadn't taken much notice of the young man who Cassie had introduced as her boyfriend. They had exchanged courteous words of greeting but nothing more. In all honesty, Edward had decided that Dan was aloof and not overly friendly. He hadn't paid him much more attention after that. He was here to celebrate their traditional Thanksgiving with his family. He didn't see them as often as he should, but that didn't mean he didn't care for them and love them deeply.

Life had taken him down a different path from the rest of his family as of late. While he enjoyed spending time with them, being close was sometimes a painful experience. That's why he chose to work and live in Long Beach instead of nearby like the rest of the family. It just made it easier to cope with things. He called and emailed regularly, oftentimes daily. Edward relied on this form of communication to keep up with all aspects of his extended family's life. He, in turn, offered them the same. He was fairly an open book with his parents and siblings, and didn't keep secrets from them as a general rule. He just kept his distance.

Edward turned his back to the group again and looked out the window. He was sure that Dan's revelation this morning was going to open a whole can of worms from a part of his life he had worked so hard to put behind him. It was a time in his life that he'd kept hidden from his family. While Edward had been in the backyard, he'd guessed that Dan was around Cassie's age or maybe just a little older. That meant he was somewhere around twenty or twenty-one.

He had tried to collect his chaotic thoughts as he had sat on that bench seat. So many questions sprang to mind_. How? When? Where?_ They had all swirled through his thoughts as he tried to process what this kid had said.

_Cullen, Edward Cullen._ Those words had shocked him to the very core and continued replaying in his head over and over. Emmett's simple question asking if this was even possible was one that Edward had been asking himself constantly ever since. Edward's question, however, was phrased slightly different – _How was this even possible?_

He tried to remember where he was twenty odd years ago. He had been in college around that time. He recalled having one long-term relationship with a girl named Helen during the first couple of years in college. They'd had sex, but he had always been pretty sure they'd used protection of some sort. Even after they had broken up, he'd still seen her around college and she had never shown any signs of pregnancy that he could recall. She would have told him, wouldn't she? He wondered about this. Was it possible that she could have hidden her pregnancy? He discounted those questions almost as quickly as he'd thought them. There was no way she could have hidden something as big as that and still have been around college in the year after. Not without him knowing something anyway.

He'd been in a band called Vamp in those days. It had been his first band experience, and there had been some crazy times. He'd given Esmé and Carlisle quite a bit of cause for concern during those years. He'd dyed his hair and worn makeup on stage. Edward had laughed to himself at the memories of that – they had really taken to the whole 80s rock scene with abandon. Still, he had never fully embraced the lifestyle. Some of his other band members had though. They were with different girls all the time. Groupies had followed them around after gigs when they'd played during summer breaks. He'd almost never participated in that kind of thing. While Edward's parents worried because he had lost focus on his studies during those years, they'd been relieved when he had come home a different person from his last summer vacation before starting his final year of study.

He had decided that the life of a rocker wasn't really for him. So, he had quit the band and cut his hair, focused once again on his studies and took on extra subjects in musical composition. That was when he had decided to write music rather than just play it. The decision had been a turning point for his career.

It was this series of thoughts that led him to a realisation. It was during his final holiday gig when he was with the band that he received _that wake up call_. It was a time when he had become so disgusted with himself and his behaviour that he had an epiphany of sorts. Edward's mind had recalled on those events. Could that single night, the one that had caused him to rethink his lifestyle and its direction, have resulted in the young man he had just seen vomiting into the garden bed?

As Edward stood inside his sister's living room waiting for the inevitable conversation to start, his mind was spinning with all those recollections from earlier in the afternoon. There was only one way to find out. Somebody had to ask the first question.

Without turning around, he spoke into the curtain in front of him. His voice, clear and loud, cut through the silence.

"How old are you, Dan?"

Everyone in the room startled just slightly at the unexpected question from Edward. Truth be told, everyone had been expecting Carlisle or Dan to take the lead. To hear Edward utter the first words after not having said much to anyone in the last few hours was surprising.

"Twenty-one," Dan replied, giving nothing more.

"When were you born?" Edward asked next, still not turning around to face the room.

"March, 1988." _Two can play this game_, Dan thought to himself as he answered Edward's second question. He was going to make him Edward work for this information. He owed this man nothing.

"Where?"

"Forks, Washington," Dan replied, still giving as good as he got.

Edward said nothing more for several moments as he replayed the time sequence over in his head. His earlier recollections came back to haunt him. The evidence of which could well be sitting across the room from him on the sofa next to his niece.

Turning to face Dan and his family at last, Edward asked one more question. It proved to be one question too many for Dan.

"What's your mother's name?"

"What's it to you?" Dan shot back at him quickly. "You don't remember her at all, do you?"

Edward regarded Dan, anger and contempt radiating from him. His jaw was set and body tensed, despite his seated position. Cassie, Edward noted, was still holding Dan's hand and rubbing tiny circles on the back of his palm as she tried to calm him. It wasn't working.

"But then again, how could you be expected to?" Dan challenged. "Tell me. How many other drunken eighteen-year-olds did you sleep with and discard like they were nothing while you were pissed drunk yourself?"

Edward physically reacted as if he'd been slapped. From his seated position, Dan continued his verbal attack, arrogance and anger evident in his tone. "What? Don't tell me you find the truth a little too hard to stomach? Is the evidence of your callousness just a little too confronting for you?"

"Dan, that's enough," Carlisle said, standing to make his point and stop the verbal tirade that Dan had unleased upon Edward.

Carlisle wasn't the only one to interject. A mixture of one word responses and audible gasps were heard around the room. Even a "hang on there a minute" was heard from Rosalie, who was looking angrily towards Dan as she'd said it.

Edward stood silently in front of his family, breathing deeply and trying to control his response. Dan had no idea how closely he'd hit the mark with those comments.

Dan eyes narrowed and were like steel as he stared defiantly at the man he believed to be his father. Dan hadn't moved from his position on the sofa, believing he had the upper hand for the moment. He wasn't going to do anything to change that situation, because he knew more than Edward did at this stage. This gave him an advantage.

Dan knew that he wanted to fight with this man. He wanted to make Edward pay for all of the unanswered questions, the hurt he had caused his mother and the pain his thoughtless actions had inflicted upon the two of them. Dan wanted to make him hurt, and he wanted to see it happen. Although the anger he felt surprised him, he embraced it. It made him feel strong after feeling so weak and helpless the last few hours.

Cassie was shocked at the change in Dan's demeanour. She tried to whisper to him and get him to look at her, but he refused to even acknowledge that he had heard her. He was too focused on her uncle. Despite his outburst, she'd held on to his hand, but she didn't think he even registered her touch anymore.

"That kind of outburst doesn't help anyone at the moment," Carlisle said, directing his comments to the younger man.

"Why, Carlisle? How doesn't it help for the truth to come out?" Dan continued to challenge, pushing himself up off the sofa and into a standing position, abruptly dropping Cassie's hand as he did. "Why don't you ask him to deny it? Go on," Dan continued with an angry toss of his head. "Ask him to say it's not true."

Cassie had also risen to stand slightly behind Dan, trying to gently rub his upper arm in a vain attempt to calm him again.

"Dan, this isn't helping things," Jasper said, entering the fray.

Dan ignored him. "Go on,_ Dad_," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "tell them it's not true."

Edward opened and closed his mouth, trying to form words that just wouldn't come.

"Now listen here, Dan. You don't get to take that tone of voice in this house," Jasper threatened. "Calm down or I'll march you straight outside 'til you can pull yourself together."

"Dan, this isn't helping, son," Carlisle reasoned, trying to throw the young man a lifeline. "You need to calm down."

Dan didn't know whether it was the feel of Cassie rubbing furiously on his arm or the sound of Carlisle's voice, or a combination of the two that enabled him to focus on what was being said around him. It allowed him to turn his gaze away from Edward's face and towards Carlisle. It took him a moment or two to collect his thoughts before his features softened in response to the older man's calming expression. He took a long, slow shuddering breath as he relaxed his stance and reached for Cassie's hand that had stilled on his upper arm.

"Sorry, Carlisle," he said quietly a moment later before turning to look into Cassie's worried eyes and leaning down to kiss her briefly on the forehead, whispering an apology to her in turn.

Dan felt horrible. Cassie's eyes were pained, and he hated to be the cause of that. She had promised to stand by him through this, but he couldn't imagine her continuing to be prepared to do that if he was going to act like such a heel towards her family.

The family watched Dan's tender exchange with Cassie and most of them felt sympathy for the young couple, despite what they had just witnessed the young man display towards Edward. This was a difficult time for all of them, but especially for the young couple that stood in the middle of the living room.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "I think it would really help matters if you just came and sat down, son," he advised.

Edward looked towards his father and nodded silently before slowly making his way over to a vacant chair nearby.

"Dan, you and Cassie need to sit back down, too," Carlisle instructed, leaving no room for argument.

As they sat down, Dan reached for Cassie's hand. This time, it was he who was rubbing her hand in hopes to reassure her that he was under control and would try to remain so.

Dan had been surprised by his sudden outburst. His residual anger that had been stored away for years had bubbled to the surface with sudden velocity. It unnerved him. He continued to rub Cassie's hand while he leaned over to plant a chaste kiss on her temple, unable to look her in the eye in case his emotions and distress overtook him again. He felt a veritable mix of emotions trying to break the surface, each one wanting to have their time in the spotlight. He closed his eyes as his lips settled on Cassie's temple, willing them into submission. He couldn't afford another outburst like that one. He would alienate the one person who had just promised to love him no matter what.

He realised that his emotional response was just a symptom of something much greater going on underneath. He and Cassie still had a lot to discuss, and they would need to talk soon. Dan hoped that what the future had in store for them wouldn't be insurmountable.

"Right," began Carlisle, "now that everyone is a little calmer, let's try this again." Carlisle paused to gather his thoughts before continuing. "Dan, you seem to know things about your beginnings. If you would elaborate on them a little, I believe it would be helpful for all of us."

Dan opened his eyes when Carlisle addressed him and turned his face towards the voice of reason he'd come to rely on. He refused to make eye contact with Edward.

"What do you want to know?" Dan asked, unsure where to start.

"I think you could start with your mother, Dan. Can you tell us something about her?"

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"My mother is not the topic of conversation here."

"I understand that you are protective of her, Dan. If what you say is true, she is very involved in this. It's only fair that we know something about her story, like where she was twenty-two years ago," Carlisle said reasonably.

"She's not the one responsible for this," Dan insisted. "She's done her best all her life, and she's worked really hard to overcome the obstacles associated with being a single parent. I'm not telling her secrets without her knowledge, and you have no right to ask me to."

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. No one seemed to know what to say to that. Alice was the only one to try.

"Dan?" Alice asked, drawing his attention for the first time. "Rose and I have met your mom. Neither of us can doubt your devotion to her or hers to you. You have a very special relationship, and we only got to spend a little over twenty-four hours with you both. We just need something to go on here, Dan. There has to be something you can tell us without breaking her confidence – a point of reference. That's all," she said, shrugging her shoulders slightly. She tried again to propose a question that Dan would feel comfortable answering. "Where was your mom when you think she met Edward?"

Looking at Alice, Dan didn't see anger or judgement in her eyes, only concern and support. He didn't feel comfortable talking about his mom to a room full of people she didn't really know, but he realised that his story started somewhere, and like Alice had said, they all needed a point of reference.

Dan thought carefully about how to phrase his answer. To say that he was uncomfortable speaking about his mother was putting it mildly. Cassie squeezed his hand and he looked towards her. She raised her eyebrows to him and gave him a brief but an encouraging smile. He turned back to Alice and spoke directly to her, trusting her with what he was about to say.

"Mom went to Long Beach on an end of school holiday with some friends after graduation in June 1987. She was there for a little over a week."

"What was the name of the place where she stayed?"

"The Holiday Spot, but it's not there anymore. It shut down ten years or so after she was there."

"How do you know that?"

"I found out when I started researching and looking for my father." Dan still refused to look towards Edward. If he had, he would have seen Edward's eyes widen at the mention of the resort's name. It had obviously rung a bell. That response didn't go unnoticed by others in the room, including Edward's parents. Esmé felt her breath catch as she listened to Dan speak.

Alice looked briefly towards her father not knowing whether or not to continue asking Dan questions. Carlisle looked at her intently trying to encourage her to keep going. Alice got the message.

"And Bella was eighteen at the time?" Alice asked, seeking confirmation of Bella's age and using her name for the first time.

"Yes," Dan replied.

Esmé felt her breath catch in her throat again.

Edward's eyes narrowed slightly at that piece of information.

"What else can you tell us, Dan?" Alice asked, trying to open the way for Dan to give more than just brief responses.

The full impact of what he had done by beginning to search for his father hit Dan hard. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, trying to decide what details to include and omit to protect his mother's privacy. He knew she hadn't asked for any of this. Bella's life was going to be inexplicably altered by the recent chain of events, and just like it had been twenty-two years before, Dan would be the cause. The thought made him sick to his stomach.

Dan drew another deep breath before answering as best as he could.

"On the night before she was to leave and return home, my Mom went to a club at the resort. She drank too much and ended up having a one-night stand with a guy from the band. She left the next day."

"And she became pregnant?"

"Yes."

"And she was sure it was from this guy? This one night stand?" Alice clarified.

"Yes."

"How could she be sure?" Rosalie asked.

Dan turned his head to look Rosalie directly in the eye as he answered. "She didn't sleep around."

"She told you this?" Rosalie pressed.

"Yes," Dan said, anger creeping into her voice.

"How do we know she told you the truth? She could have slept with anyone," Rosalie asked bluntly.

"Rose!" Esmé chastised, but Dan responded just as quickly to defend his mother's honour.

"I told you, she didn't sleep around," Dan answered more forcibly. He wasn't prepared to have his mother's integrity, among other things, brought into question.

"I understand what she's told you, Dan, but that doesn't mean it's the truth," Rosalie continued.

Dan was angry again, and it showed.

"You don't get to speak about my mom like that, Rosalie," Dan warned her, moving to the edge of the sofa and getting ready to stand again.

"I'm just saying that -"

"_Don't_ talk about my mother like that," Dan repeated as he got to his feet. "You've met her only once; you hardly know anything about her."

"I know that girls can lie when they get themselves into trouble," Rosalie added as she stood to meet him head on. She was determined to protect her brother, no matter the cost.

"Rose!" Esmé said again, her own distress evident this time. "You can't say that!"

"He's right."

The room fell silent immediately as all eyes turned to Edward.

"I beg your pardon?" Carlisle asked his son.

"I said, he's right," replied Edward, looking his father in the eye.

"You mean…?" Carlisle started, unable to finish.

"I mean, he's right," Edward repeated, yet again.

The room remained silent, each one processing what Edward's statement meant.

"What do you mean, he's right?" asked Emmett. He wasn't following the conversation.

Edward looked directly at his brother-in-law while the rest of the family continued to stare directly at him.

"I mean, that he's right in what he's said. She didn't sleep around."

"You remember this?" Carlisle asked, referring to more than just the knowledge that Dan's mother hadn't slept around.

"No."

"Then, how do you know?"

Edward paused, trying to word his thoughts delicately. "There was…evidence, afterwards."

"Eviden…?" Esmé started, but she stopped partway through. "Oh my, lord. Edward," Esmé whispered as the meaning of what Edward had just said hit her. Still shocked by what she had just heard, Esmé again whispered, "Oh, Edward," but this time her voice was filled with disappointment. "How could you?"

Edward stood and paced around the back of the chair and over to the window again, his mother's words echoing in his ears.

"I just don't understand. How _could_ you?" Esmé said quietly under her breath as she tried to process the implications of what had just been revealed. "She was just a ch -" her own words were cut off by Edward's.

"Enough, Esmé," he uttered quietly, but not quietly enough.

Two words. Two simple words so thoughtlessly uttered, yet, so incredibly painful. The effect these two words had on his parents was instantaneous.

"Edward!" Carlisle's voice rose for the first time that day, his calm veneer finally cracking under the weight of his son's words. "Don't take that tone with your mother."

Edward turned to face his parents and instantly saw the hurt that his carelessly worded thoughts had caused. He regretted them instantly, but it was too late to take them back.

There had been a time in Edward's adolescence when he had rebelled against the notion of being adopted. He had taken out his circumstances and poorly placed emotions on the two people who had loved him the most in his whole life up to that point. He had thrown this extra ammunition his parent's way in a fit of rebellion, not unlike other teens. He had the confused emotions regarding his adoption and his misguided belief that he didn't really fit in with the tightly knit family. He felt like he was nothing more than an outsider who was pretending, just like the rest of them, that he was an integral family member. He had thrown it all back in their faces.

Edward had taken to calling his so-called parents by their first names as a means to insult them and remind them at each and every opportunity that he wasn't their flesh and blood. They were nothing more than caretakers. It had been a horrible time for everyone, but they had survived and come out the other side of it a stronger and better family unit. They were not without scars, however. Today, Edward had opened one of those old wounds he had caused so long ago, and it had cut deeply, hurting his mother beyond words.

In an instant, the focus of the little gathering was lost as the pain between the parents and their youngest child was laid bare for all to witness. It had been a long time since they had to deal with these issues, and it was devastating for all to see how something that had been buried deeply so long ago could rise so quickly to the surface.

Carlisle, sitting on the arm of the single lounge chair next to Esmé, leant down and wrapped his arms lovingly around his wife of nearly fifty years. She was a petite woman but strong of character. She had lived a full and varied life, sharing her instinctively nurturing personality with many. While Carlisle fixed broken bodies, she had studied to fix broken hearts. She'd thought she had managed to achieve that for her own son, but she realised that she had only dressed and bandaged the wounds. They had never healed completely.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Edward said from over by the window. No matter how much he had wanted to cross that room, the look of utter betrayal on his father's face kept him where he was. "I didn't mean it, Mom."

"I think you've said quite enough for the time being," Carlisle responded, his voice flat and emotionless as he struggled to rein in his own feelings and focus on his wife's needs.

Esmé sat in her chair wrapped comfortingly in Carlisle's embrace with her head resting on his chest and her eyes shining with fresh tears. Everyone's emotions were becoming too much to handle at this point.

Alice and Jasper too, who had sat quietly to the side during most of the exchanges, had their arms entwined. Rosalie and Emmett sat on either side of Sammy, who hadn't said a word since her mother had explained to her the complexities of what had occurred earlier in the garden and later in Cassie's room. Sammy sat still with her hands in her lap and her gaze focused on them. This was all foreign territory for her. She had always led a relatively sheltered and protected life up until this point. She had lived her whole life in a loving family environment and animosity was virtually unknown to her. Her mother had a quick temper, for sure, but her father had a unique way of diffusing it just as quickly. They were a case of opposites attracting, and they were devoted to each other and their daughter. This kind of angst was not the norm. She had no idea how to handle it.

Dan and Cassie were still together on the sofa. Cassie had buried her head in Dan's chest when her grandmother had become upset. Dan gently rubbed her upper arm without taking his eyes from the man over near the curtains. _Who was this person? Who could so thoughtlessly hurt his mother in such a way?_ Dan thought to himself. But then, Dan had other thoughts. _Wasn't this exactly what he was going to do to Bella upon his return when he broke the news to her? Wasn't her hurt and pain going to be just as clear to see, just as measurable? Maybe he wasn't any different from him after all? Maybe he was tarred from the same brush._

Edward looked at the damage he had brought to his family on this day of Thanksgiving. He thought back to the words of prayer that Jasper had spoken before they had started the now abandoned family meal. He doubted anyone would ever treasure this Thanksgiving's memories.

He came to a decision and announced it without giving himself too much time for reflection or reconsideration.

"I need to go," he said simply.

"Edward, I don't think that's the solution here," Emmett replied quietly. "We really aren't any further along than what we were a few hours ago. You really need to stay and sort through this."

"I can't, Em. I'm not thinking right at the moment," Edward responded, looking over towards his mother, his eyes filled with yet another apology that was never uttered. "I'm hurting the people I love."

"Edward, don't pull away. We'll work through this," Alice pleaded with her brother. This was a common thing for him, but something they had worked hard at overcoming in recent years.

"Alice, I just need some time. Give me a chance to think things through. I've got to go home. There's something I need to..," he left the sentence unfinished, as he looked over to Dan. _Could this boy really be my son?_ he thought. _Have I had a son all this time and never known it?_

"Edward, please," Alice tried again.

"I'll come back, Alice. I promise. I'll come back first thing in the morning."

Alice looked at her brother, wanting to see that promise reflected in his eyes. What she saw there was sincerity and pain. She left him alone and said no more.

"I'll come with you, son, if you need me to," Carlisle offered, always putting the needs of his children above his own.

"Dad, thanks, but no," Edward said, shaking his head. "I really need to be alone. I need time to think - get my head together." He looked towards his mother and said with genuine affection, "Mom, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Esmé, incapable of speaking, just closed her eyes and nodded her head. When she opened them again, she saw Edward's own eyes looking for reassurance in hers. She whispered in a broken voice, "I love you, Edward. Always."

"I love you, too, Mom," Edward's own voice almost cracking and failing him. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders preparing to take his leave. He walked over to the front door and grabbed his keys from the small hall stand near the entrance where he had tossed them upon his arrival. All eyes in the room watched him as he did. He turned to face everyone one last time and looked briefly at all of them in turn before settling on Dan last of all.

"I'll come back in the morning. I _will_ come back." And with those words, Edward opened the door and stepped out into the afternoon sunshine and solitude.


	14. Chapter 14

Here we are again folks.

SM owns the canon characters. I own this storyline and my OOC characters...

So, after a couple of intense chapters, this one gives us a little bit of a breather. You will find out a little more about Edward's past as he works through the events of the day. Dan and Cassie also get some time alone. Everyone needs a little space to think and be; hence, the title.

Thanks to my terrific trio – by now, you all know who they are. All three women are talented writers in their own rights, and I learn something from them each and every time they use their time to check my work – go read their stories if you haven't already. Their pennames here on FF are: Lalina, Fatallyobsessed and Sandyk199.

Thanks to Grendel – without whom, my writing would be less than polished.

Thanks also to everyone who is rec'ing this story out there in fanfic land and all of you who are taking the time to put me or this story on alert or to leave a review.

Now, on to the story…

**Chapter 14 – Taking Time Out for Me**

Edward pulled into his driveway and pressed the garage door button inside his Audi, and then checked his rear view mirror to ensure the door closed securely behind him.

Two hours and forty-five minutes - that's how long the drive from Alice's had taken him. The Thanksgiving afternoon traffic on the freeway headed south had been horrific, and Edward hadn't been in the mood to deal with it.

When he'd left Alice and Jasper's house earlier that afternoon, he had tried to take his mind off the day's events by relaxing with a selection of music he kept in his car. He had an eclectic range – everything from classical and rock to jazz and R & B with some 80s techno and funk. Music was something he had always used to sooth his troubled soul in the past. There was something about music that reached his inner most thoughts, calmed and centered him, and helped him focus during times of stress.

He had tried CD after CD while attempting to concentrate on the drive home. On this occasion, however, nothing seemed to help him decompress after his stressful afternoon. When "History Never Repeats" by Split Endz, a virtually unknown New Zealand 80s rock band, began to play, he growled in frustration before jabbing his fingertips again at the eject button, silencing the song mid-play.

Edward had been impatient to get home where he could be alone. He'd wanted his sanctuary where he could rest his mind and body. It was a place where no one was within close proximity to ask him questions and he didn't have to listen to a boy's history that had most likely incorporated him without his knowledge.

Since his music had left him feeling anything but calm, he had concentrated on other strategies that might prevent reflection on the afternoon's events as he drove home. He began counting the cars he saw. This worked briefly, until he'd passed a silver Volvo. It had reminded him of one of his earliest cars, and he'd immediately thought back to another troubled time in his life.

He'd upgraded his cars considerably since those days. _Being single again has its advantages, _he mused. He thought back with dry humour about the arguments and disagreements he'd had with his ex-wife over his property. _How ironic_, he'd thought to himself. How ironic it would be if he had, in fact, fathered a child unknowingly so many years before, considering that it was the inability to do so with his own wife that had been the final nail in the coffin of their marriage.

He also remembered the fights, tears and stress during the final years with Tanya. Their marriage had been unravelling for some time before they had decided that having a child would be one way for them to reconnect, reclaim their former closeness and bring them back together. Hindsight was a remarkable thing, and he now knew that this had never been a wise decision. Their entire marriage had become focused on achieving and maintaining a pregnancy, and living the stress of their failure to achieve a successful pregnancy had consumed them. After months of tests, doctors visits and their fourth heartbreaking miscarriage in eighteen months, the doctors had informed them that Tanya would unlikely to be able to carry a pregnancy to term. What was left of their marriage had begun to crumble around them.

Had their marriage been in a better place before then, they might have made it through. As it was, Tanya had been unable to deal with what she saw as a personal failure. Likewise, Edward had been unable to deal with the changes he had seen in his wife. Her bitterness, anger and grief were palpable, which robbed her of so many wonderful qualities that he had fallen in love with years before. Their inability to deal with the complex issues revolving around them as individuals and a couple had ensured the demise of their marriage. Tanya had left embittered; Edward was deeply saddened and emotionally torn.

Neither one had been able to successfully bridge the chasm that had opened with the end of their marriage. The last Edward had heard, Tanya had moved to Canada. After the divorce, she'd never contacted him again. Edward had withdrawn from his regular life that he'd previously shared with his wife and taken solace in his music. He'd become a solitary figure, which was a choice easily achieved because his work rarely required him to interact socially. He had pulled away from his family, too. His isolation all the more obvious on the occasions when he did meet with them and saw the easy happiness that both his sisters experienced with their husbands and daughters. Such gatherings only served to intensify his grief and pain at the dissolution of his marriage and abandonment of his dreams to have a family of his own.

This trail of thoughts had led him right back to the exact topic he had wanted to avoid dwelling on while driving home. Again, he tried to push those thoughts from his mind by looking out on the scenery. As he drove, he turned on the radio hoping to find some boring talk station that he could listen to. This seemed to have done the trick. He even found himself smirking at the unusual opinions some callers expressed on air. He had often wondered in times past why radio shows like this even existed. For today, he was grateful that this one seemed to provide an answer to his dilemma.

After pulling into his garage, he turned off the car's engine and watched as the doors closed behind him. The sound of the monotonous dribble that echoed from the radio was gone and finally there was silence. _If only that were really true_, he mused. Without the radio to distract him, the sounds of the voices inside his head seemed to scream more loudly.

Edward exited the garage and made his way over to the front door only then realizing that he had left his overnight bag at Alice's in his rush to leave. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, turning off the house alarm as he entered. After walking through the foyer and the kitchen, he made his way to the study. He went directly to the bar and poured himself a scotch, straight up, no ice. He brought it to his lips and sipped it, letting the burn trickle down the back of his throat as he swallowed. He downed what had been in his glass quickly and poured himself a second drink before moving towards the large desk. He sat down in the comfortably-appointed swivel chair behind it, leaned back and closed his eyes. The drink in his hand remained untouched.

Edward sat this way for some time. Except for the occasional drumming of his fingers on the arm of the chair, it could be easily assumed that he was asleep. Eventually, he opened his eyes and leant forward, placing the still untouched scotch on the desk's blotter. He pushed back his chair slightly, leant down under the desk and entered the combination on the keypad of the safe that was hidden there. He removed a mid-sized, yellow business envelope before closing the safe and sitting upright again. He rolled forward slowly on his chair and placed his elbows on the table. He held the yellow envelope in his hands and stared at the front of it. It was unlabelled, but that didn't matter. Edward knew what this envelope contained, and he continued to stare at it while fighting the desire to open it. The two separate contents of this envelope hadn't been opened in more than seventeen years, and he questioned his need to open them again knowing it would bring forth many painful memories from his past.

Edward dropped the envelope without ceremony onto the desk and stood abruptly, and in the process, pushed his chair back into the wall behind him. He walked out from behind his desk, leaving the envelope and the untouched second whisky sitting there, crossed the room and headed out through the door towards the kitchen. Edward collected his keys from where he had deposited them earlier and unlocked the large French doors, which opened out onto the grassed area of his back yard that overlooked the ocean and Catalina Island on the horizon. He stepped out into the late afternoon sunlight, a golden glow illuminating the skyline. Edward put his hands in his pockets and stared out across the water.

It was then that he tried to organise his thoughts for the first time that afternoon. His mind had been a mishmash of disjointed memories and recollections for the past few hours. After the initial shock of Dan's disclosure, Edward had remained in the garden trying to piece things together but hadn't succeeded. When he'd finally entered the house to see his family, Dan and Cassie joining them not long after, Edward had still been unable to accurately make sense of the situation. There were just too many unanswered questions. He had no real point of reference in time and no way to make sense of what had been said thus far. So, Edward had begun by asking Dan how old he was.

What had followed, including Dan's bitter recriminations and accusations, had taken Edward by surprise. He had found himself unable to respond or vocalize his thoughts. The younger man's anger had permeated every word and action.

As he tried to listen and take in everything Dan said, Edward was shocked to hear that Dan had obviously been researching his father for some time. By the time Dan had mentioned the name of the resort and the timeframe that his mother had been holidaying there, Edward had begun to feel queasy. It was as he had suspected while he was out in the backyard. Dan could well be the result of that one night's drunken sex with his "Mystery B" as he had dubbed her so many years before. Alice had mentioned Dan's mother's name, but he'd forgotten that Alice and Rose had met her when they went to New York City a few months ago. What was the name Alice had used? Bella? That was yet another missing piece in this puzzle; a story that upon retelling was coming closer and closer to being a part of his personal history.

It was embarrassing, to say the least, that he couldn't remember details of that night, but rather, only sordid discoveries from the next morning. It was even more embarrassing that this secret he'd managed to keep hidden all these twenty-odd years was being aired for the first time in front of his entire family. None of them knew what had been behind his change of focus all those years ago. What must they think of him now?

Edward stood there trying to recall exactly what so-called facts he had at this point. The time and the location fit. Dan's mother's name was also a possible match but could be just a coincidence. Dan had mentioned that his mother had been eighteen at the time, and Edward drew in a slow breath. Had he really slept with a drunken eighteen-year-old? The thought repulsed him even now, and the evidence that this girl, whoever she was, had been a virgin made him feel even worse. Still, after all these years, the fact that he had taken some girl's virginity away that night was a bitter pill to swallow and something that had shocked him to his very core when he had realized it. It disturbed him that this part seemed to tie in closely with his limited memories, giving credence that Dan's story could be the truth. He had admitted as much to his family, and it had pushed his mother too far. Her disappointment in him had been obvious for all to see. He had compounded it carelessly by uttering two thoughtless words that had brought back so much more additional, yet entirely unnecessary, pain. He groaned aloud in frustration as he unconsciously paced around his backyard.

_Surely there couldn't be that many coincidences could there?_ There had been other bands that had played during the summer break. Their gig had lasted for just six weeks, and then another band had taken up after them. He didn't recall Dan mentioning the name of the band. It may not have been his band at all, Edward reasoned, but that didn't help shake the uneasy feeling that all these pieces of information did, in fact, seem to fit together in some sickening way.

He realised that the persistent, annoying sound in the background of his thoughts was his home phone ringing. He walked back inside and answered it abruptly.

"Hello."

"Edward?" the voice on the other end asked.

"Yes, Alice, it's me. What do you want?" he asked perfunctorily.

"I just called to see if you got home safely, that's all," she replied softly, apologetically. "I'd tried your cell, but you didn't answer."

"I haven't heard it. I must have left it in the car."

"Right," Alice paused. "So, how are you?"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"What do you think, Alice." he answered rhetorically, disappointed in himself at his tone of voice but unable or unwilling to mask it.

Alice said nothing, letting silence do the talking for her.

"I'm sorry, Alice," Edward eventually replied, sounding weary.

"I understand, Edward. Truly, I do."

"I very much doubt that," he responded, again brushing off her attempts to reach out to him but regretting it as soon as he'd said them. "Where is everybody?" Edward asked cryptically.

Alice saw through her brother's attempt at casual. She instinctively understood what he was asking. "Dan and Cassie have gone for a drive," she replied directly. "Everyone else is here cleaning away the lunch dishes."

"I see," Edward said vaguely. "Is Dad around?" he asked.

"Yes, he is. I'll put him on," Alice replied, waving Carlisle over. "Edward, will we see you in the morning?" Alice asked tentatively.

"That's what I said, Alice."

"Right. Well, I'll see you then. Here's Dad," Alice finished before handing the phone over to her father.

"Edward," Carlisle stated in greeting to his son.

"Dad," was all Edward could fashion in response. He was caught off guard by the emotions that had welled up in his throat as his father came on the line.

"What can I do for you, son?" Carlisle asked genuinely.

"How's Mom?" Edward asked.

"She'll be fine. Would you like to speak with her?" Carlisle offered.

"No," Edward replied hurriedly. He wasn't ready to speak to his mother just yet. The pain he had unwittingly caused her still shamed him too much. "Just tell her, I'm sorry, OK?" he asked his father.

"She knows that, Edward, but I'll tell her again," Carlisle said, looking over to his wife and nodding briefly at her while giving her a smile to reassure her at the same time.

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"How do DNA tests work?"

"Ah," Carlisle said, walking away from the rest of the family to gain some privacy. "I take it you want to pursue this option, then?" Carlisle asked.

"I think it would answer a lot of questions, don't you?" Edward asked him in return.

"It may provide you with one answer but not all of them, Edward. Are you prepared for that?" he warned him.

"I don't really see that I have much of a choice in this case, do you?"

"Probably not, son. Probably not."

"How long?"

"For results?"

"Yes."

"Usually five days or so, I believe, but it's really not my area of expertise. I could make a couple of discrete phone calls tomorrow if that would help?" he offered.

"Please," Edward uttered quietly, running his fingers over the corner of the kitchen counter absentmindedly.

"Alright."

"How is it done? A blood test?" Edward asked. His words were brief.

"Usually just a mouth swab as far as I know."

"Right."

"I'll check it all out and have answers for you tomorrow, Edward. How's that?" Carlisle offered again.

"Fine, Dad. And thanks," he offered, almost as an after thought.

"You're welcome, son. Do you need anything else?"

"No, not right now," Edward answered. "That'll do."

"Fine. We'll see you in the morning, then," Carlisle confirmed for his own piece of mind.

"Yes, Dad. I'll see you in the morning."

"This will all sort itself out, Edward. No matter what the outcome is," Carlisle said, "we are your family, and we will support you in this. No matter what."

Edward took a deep breath before replying. "Thanks, Dad," warmth entering his voice before hanging up the phone. He walked into his music room, opened the cover of the grand piano and started to play, losing himself in his music.

*************

After Edward walked out the front door of Alice and Jasper's place, Dan had sat down and put his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands and pulled at his hair. He felt like his emotions had been thrown into a cement mixer, and they were all churning around inside making a complete mess. Cassie had placed an arm gently around his shoulders and tried to ease his pain by rubbing soft circles between his shoulders. He was aware of her presence and warmth beside him, but he didn't dare look up. He couldn't bear being the focus of everyone's attention now that he had caused Edward to leave. Instead, he leant sideways slightly and rested his head gently against Cassie's as she continued to rub his shoulders.

Cassie leaned into Dan's shoulder, returning his gesture of affection, before looking up into the eyes of her parents. Jasper, sensing Dan's tightly wound emotions, gave her a signal of his own to suggest that she take Dan outside and away from everyone's scrutiny. Cassie nodded briefly before whispering in Dan's ear, "How about we get outta here for a while?"

Without looking up, Dan leaned further into her indicating that he'd heard her and wanted to go. She removed her hand from his shoulder and reached around to take his hand in her own. He lifted his head and smiled at her gently as Cassie stood, pulling Dan with her. He finally looked up and into the faces of Cassie's family, who hadn't said anything in the last few minutes. Each person there was trying to process the events that had just played out. Dan felt incredibly guilty for unknowingly bringing such angst to what should have been a happy occasion.

Dan looked towards Jasper and Alice, who were standing across the other side of the room from him. Alice's eyes were red, and she struggled to keep her emotions in check. It made Dan feel worse.

"I'm truly sorry about this, Alice; Jasper," Dan offered, looking at each of them in turn. "I never expected anything like this to happen."

Jasper removed his hand from around his wife's shoulders and walked across the room to face Dan. "I'm sorry that the afternoon has turned out like this, too, Dan," Jasper said, extending his hand, "and _I'm_ sorry for jumping to conclusions earlier this afternoon when things first happened."

Dan took Jasper's extended hand and shook it, looking Cassie's father in the eyes. "I meant what I said earlier today, Jasper," Dan said, wanting to remind him that he understood. "Kid gloves. I promise."

"I know that, son," Jasper replied. "Go for a drive with Cassie; she can take my car. Clear your head, and come back when you're ready."

"Thanks, Jasper," Dan said simply.

"Jaz, I think you're parked in front of me. Here kiddo," Emmett said, stepping forward and offering Cassie his keys. "Take my car."

"Thanks, Uncle Em," Cassie replied.

Dan looked towards Emmett and smiled briefly, acknowledging his gesture. He turned back to the rest of the family and apologized again for the upset he had caused. "I'm so sorry, everyone."

Carlisle, the ever-present voice of reason, stood and moved over to Dan. He reached up to put a hand on his shoulder in hopes that the small gesture would communicate their acceptance and reassurance. "Dan, we understand that. Now, go out with Cassie for a while. Take some time out. We will all be here when you get back."

Without another word, Cassie pulled Dan gently by the arm and moved towards the front door. Once they were outside, she put her arm around his waist as they walked down the front stairs and over to the waiting car. She opened the passenger's car door for Dan to take his seat before moving around to the driver's side and getting in. After starting the engine, she backed out of the driveway slowly before turning and heading off down the street.

Dan sat back in the seat and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes before quietly swearing under his breath. Cassie stole glances at him as she drove along with no specific destination in mind. She just wanted to put some distance between Dan and the events of the afternoon. She held the steering wheel with one hand and reached over with the other to put it gently on his leg trying to draw his attention. He removed his hands from his face and looked over at her with sad, tired eyes before placing a hand on top of hers and smiling at her. His smile, however, didn't reach his eyes.

"Where do you want to go?" Cassie asked him.

"I've no idea, Cass," he said sadly. "Just somewhere we can be alone. Just you and me, if you're OK with that," he added, still unsure of the impact the afternoon had taken on their relationship.

"That sounds just about perfect to me," she replied with a smile. For the first time that afternoon, Dan actually breathed a sigh of relief. He squeezed her hand tightly and smiled back at her more genuinely than he had just a few moments ago. "Relax, babe," she said. "Close your eyes. Let me surprise you."

"I really think we've had enough surprises for one afternoon, don't you?" Dan asked, turning serious again.

"Then, relax and let me take you someplace special," Cassie corrected. "Trust me, I know just the place."

"Deal," he said simply, and with a final heartening squeeze of her hand, he leaned back against the head rest and closed his eyes.

Cassie drove for another fifteen or twenty minutes before she pulled into a cliffside parking lot overlooking the ocean. She leant across and brushed Dan's cheek softly with the back of her hand. "Wake up, sleepy head," she intoned gently.

Dan's eyelids fluttered briefly before they opened for good. "Did I fall asleep?" he asked her, taking in his surroundings.

"Yeah, but you didn't snore too loudly," she replied, smiling at him. "You were pretty beat."

"I'll say," said Dan, rubbing his eyes and sitting up to stretch out in the car. "Where are we?"

"Just a little ways up the coast," Cassie offered. "This is one of my favourite spots along here. Come on," she suggested, as she opened her driver's door. "Let me show you."

Dan got out of the car and walked around to meet Cassie.

"Let's see what Uncle Em keeps in his trunk," Cassie suggested. "Maybe there's a rug in here somewhere," she said as she popped it open. She laughed out loud at what she saw. "Ratty might be a better description, but at least it's something," she said, lifting out an old tartan picnic rug.

"Better than nothing," Dan said, taking it from her before reaching for her hand after she'd closed the trunk. "Lead the way, ma'am," he said, happy for Cassie to show him the area.

After a brief walk down a cliffside path, Cassie led Dan out onto the beach. The sun was sitting lower in the sky, and they walked only a brief way before Dan shook out the rug and placed it on the sand. They lowered themselves onto it facing each other. Dan looked carefully into Cassie's eyes and raised one hand to gently cup her cheek before he spoke to her.

"So, Cass. How are you doing with everything that's happened this afternoon? Are you sure you're still OK with us after everything that's gone on?"

Cassie didn't use words to convey her response. She knelt up on the rug, reaching for Dan as she did. She cradled his face in her hands before leaning in to kiss him slowly at first. As she kissed him, Dan enveloped her in his arms and parted her lips with his tongue. Slowly and ever so gently, Dan leaned back until he was lying on top of the rug. Cassie came with him so that she was lying diagonally across his chest while they continued to kiss. Eventually coming up for air, Dan took Cassie's face in his hands and brushed her hair away from her eyes as he held her tenderly.

"I love you, Cassandra," he said formally, wanting her to understand just how much he meant those simple words. "Thank you for staying with me."

"I love you, Dan," she said, returning his gaze. "Where else would I be?"

Dan pulled Cassie to his chest and hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head as he held her there. "Do you want to talk about things?" he asked her gently, not wanting to ruin the moment between the two of them.

"Not right, now. I'm done with talking today. I just want you and me. This. Here. You and me," she said, lifting herself slightly and looking into his eyes.

This time, it was Dan who didn't answer with words but rather with a searing kiss that took her breath away. His hands began to wander over her back and the swell of her bottom, pulling her even closer to him. Their passion grew, and as their kissing became more desperate, they sought out new ways of kissing the other, trying to show the depth of their feelings.

Without thinking, Dan moved his hands back up and under her shirt. The feeling of her skin against his hands was highly arousing, and he let out a low groan in response. Cassie, her own desires mounting, slowly repositioned herself and ground her hips into him. She felt him respond under her. Acting purely on instinct, Dan continued to explore Cassie's flesh. It wasn't new territory, and they had been dressed in considerably less during their holiday in Australia. Now, for the first time ever, they were truly alone. This knowledge made them both euphoric, and they were free to respond to each other without hesitation. This realization drove them on further than ever before.

Cassie let her hands wander into the waistband of Dan's pants. His breath hitched in pleasure as her fingers touched his sensitive skin. Likewise, Cassie shuddered as Dan's hands found their way to her bra clasp and undid it, releasing her breasts from their confinement.

Slowly and ever so carefully, Dan rolled them both until he was perched gently on top of her, supporting his weight with his arms. He looked at her beautiful face before lowering his lips to kiss her eyelids and nose, and then finally settling once again on her mouth, tasting her.

"Dan, I want you so much," Cassie whispered when he pulled back from her slightly. "Please, Dan. Make love to me. I want to feel you so badly," she pressed.

Dan looked into Cassie's face before leaning in to kiss her deeply, yet again. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to feel himself inside of her, to feel what it would be like to have their bodies connected in that way, and to know what it would mean to have no distance or space between them. He ground himself into her letting her know that he wanted her just as badly and kissed her thoroughly until her lips were swollen from all the attention.

Pulling back from her was the most difficult thing he had ever done, and he did so, wishing it could be different.

Panting with effort, he rolled onto his back away from her and put his forearms over his face. Confused by his mixed signals, Cassie rolled onto her side and reached out for him trying to draw him back to her.

"Dan," she started. "Come back to me. I want this; you want this."

"Oh, Cass," he said. "You have no idea how much I want this and you," he clarified.

"So what's stopping us?" she begged. "This is you and me. No one else. Nobody else," she said, reaching for his face trying to turn it towards her.

"Cass, I love you. I want you, but for our first time, I want to make love to you."

"Wasn't that what we were doing?" she whined, feeling defeated. She closed her eyes and rolled onto her back away from him. "I thought that's what we _were_ doing."

"Oh, Cass," he said. This time, it was he who rolled on his side towards her. He reached up and touched her face gently with his hand. "We were; we so were," he said, stroking her cheek softly. "I want to make love to you so much more than you know."

"So, why stop?" she asked, the frustration evident in her voice.

"I don't want our first time together to be today. I don't want the chaos of today to be tied up with this. I want our first time together to be just our time. Nothing else."

"But this _is_ just us. Out here. Alone."

"No, gorgeous, it's not. Part of this will always be connected to what's happened today," he said. "I don't want that. I want you, but I don't want that." He looked at her; her disappointment was obvious. "I _will_ make our first time together special for us, Cass, I promise. I _will_ make love to you, and it will be right and perfect and everything we both want it to be. But, today? Here? Despite how much I want to, I won't do it here. I love you, Cassie. I love you too much to take you this way."

Cassie rolled towards him, tucking herself into a tight ball. She curled her fists under her chin and drew her knees up to her chest. She understood his reasoning, but that didn't mean she had to agree with it.

He hugged her to him, which wasn't an easy task considering the position she had herself in, but he wanted to hold her. He wanted to make her feel loved and precious, despite his refusal to make love to her then and there. He kissed her forehead, her cheek, her shoulder, and everywhere else he could reach. He whispered words of love to her over and over again, willing her to understand.

As darkness descended on the young couple, they slowly readjusted themselves and collected the picnic rug before making their way back to the parking lot. Not an easy task in the dark.

Their drive home was relatively quiet. When they reached the house, Dan held Cassie closely outside the front door before going inside. He told her that he loved her, and she responded in kind. They kissed tenderly before Cassie led them inside and back to her family.

Alice informed Dan that she had set up a bed for him in the den. He thanked Alice and bade everyone goodnight before he kissed Cassie briefly at the base of the stairs before she headed up to her room alone.

Tomorrow was another day. It wasn't going to be anything like Dan had planned for his weekend in California, but then again, this day hadn't been either. He hoped with all his might as he watched his girl slowly ascend the stairs to her room that tomorrow would have a silver lining.

* * *

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	15. Chapter 15

Hello again everyone.

Thanks to all the usual people – I learn something new about writing each and every chapter, and I hope it shows.

Special shout out to all the girls on the thread who have talked me through my insecurities with this chapter in particular, especially FTW, OSC, BG, Cartnee, PLV and Sunfeathers – kisses to you all.

Enjoy!

*******************

**Chapter 15 – One on One time**

After a restless night's sleep, Dan woke feeling exhausted, rather than refreshed. He had lain in bed for what had seemed like hours, unsuccessfully trying to keep his thoughts about Cassie and worries about Edward at bay before finally falling asleep sometime after two in the morning, only to wake again just before six. He had stayed under the covers for a while, delaying the inevitable when he would have to go out and greet Cassie's family. He was feeling uncomfortable, knowing that he would face yet another day of questions and well meaning but inquisitive looks. He was disturbed from his thoughts by a light knocking on the den door.

"Come in," Dan said, sitting up and grabbing a t-shirt from his bag on the floor next to him.

"Hi. It's me," Cassie said quietly as she entered the room.

"Morning, gorgeous," Dan greeted softly, as he finished pulling his shirt over his head. "What are you doing here? Your father would most likely want to kill the both of us if he caught you in here."

"Well, we'll just have to make sure he doesn't find out then, won't we?" Cassie responded, walking over to sit next to Dan on the single fold out bed her parents had set up for him, leaning into give him a soft but lingering morning kiss.

"Mmm," Dan said, coming up for air. "Nice greeting, beautiful. A guy could get used to that," he said, rubbing noses with her. "Sorry about the morning breath. I haven't been up yet."

"That was part of my dastardly plan," Cassie smiled evilly. "Well, not the morning breath bit, just the not having gotten up yet bit," she clarified.

Returning her wicked grin, Dan said cryptically, "That's no longer a problem either, sweetheart," he said in his best Humphrey Bogart impersonation, waggling his eyebrows as he spoke before kissing her again.

"Mmm," she said, breaking away from he kiss, "who on earth was that meant to be?"

"Humphrey Bogart," Dan replied. Cassie, by the look on her face, obviously had no idea who he was, so Dan explained. "He's a famous actor from the 40's. My Nan used to watch old movies."

"Ok then," she said, kissing him back. "Well, I have no idea if you sounded like him or not."

"Who cares, if I get a wake up call like this," he replied, kissing her back intently.

"Don't start what you're not prepared to finish," Cassie taunted him as she pulled away. "I don't think I could go another round like last night."

Dan closed his eyes, exhaling as he did. "You know I wanted to, Cass, just so much," he said, resting his forehead on hers.

"I know. At least, I think I do," she said, leaning into his forehead in return and looking into his eyes. "It seems like we have really sucky timing though, doesn't it?"

"That's one way of phrasing it," Dan concurred, "but don't ever think that I don't want you. Sometimes it's all I can think about. Like last night. I couldn't sleep. If I wasn't thinking about this fucked up mess with Edward, I was thinking about having sex with you. Neither option was conducive to sleep."

Cassie snuggled into his neck, running her nose against the gravely skin at the base of his throat.

"So, when you think about sex with me," she asked him as she traced his collar bones with her fingertips, "what exactly do you think about?"

Closing his eyes, he breathed in the scent of her deeply before he spoke. "I dream of undressing you slowly, taking off one piece of clothing at a time and kissing you as I go."

"Mmm," she replied, encouraging him to go on as she kissed the along the line her fingers had just traced.

Dan swallowed before he continued. "I think about how wet you would feel, and how soft your skin would be," his voice growing softer as he found it more difficult to focus on answering her question.

Cassie's breathing quickened has she listened to his words. She turned her head slightly lifting it and letting her nose trail slowly across his cheek towards his ear, before continuing down his neck and nibbling again on the tight muscle at its base.

"Aw, Cass."

"Don't stop, tell me more, please?" she begged.

Dan swallowed yet again, his hands reaching for her hips on the bed next to him. He gripped her tightly, steadying himself before continuing. "I think about running my tongue all over you, tasting you, all over."

Unable to control her responses any longer, Cassie quickly lifted her face to his. Morning breath forgotten, she kissed him hungrily, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself flush against him. He could feel the firm peaks of her nipples against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her while moving his kiss from her mouth to her throat, tasting and sucking on the delicate flesh there. Cassie began to lie back against the bed, pulling Dan with her. He hesitated only briefly before giving in, repositioning himself and covering her body with his, pushing his weight onto her and letting her feel how aroused their little moment was making him. He returned to kissing her lips. When she turned her head to the side to take a breath, Dan continued without a pause, kissing down the side of her neck again and across to the hollow at the base of her throat. She arched her neck to welcome him. He trailed his nose down along her breast bone, turning his head to the side just slightly to feel one of her nipples. He ran his lips over the cotton of her shirt while sliding his hands up under the flimsy fabric towards her breasts.

"Oh god, don't stop," she pleaded with him. "Don't stop."

Cassie's words caused Dan to groan loudly, closing his eyes and halting mid-touch. He buried his forehead into her chest, before rolling off slightly to the side, taking his weight from her.

"Dan, no," Cassie whined, putting one hand to her eyes in frustration. "Dammit, why?"

"'Cause it's not the right way, Cass. It's not how it should be. Not in your parents' house, listening for sounds of others moving around."

"I wasn't listening for anyone else."

"I was."

"How can you just stop so easily? How can you just turn it off?"

"Is that what you think I'm doing?" he asked shocked. "Is that what you actually think? Here," he said, grabbing her hand roughly and dragging it on top of him. "There is nothing easy about this, Cass," he said, forcing her to feel his erection through his shorts. "Feel that," he demanded. "Feel what you're doing to me. Feel how much I wish it could be different. Don't assume for one minute that you want this more than me, cause it's just not possible."

"I hate this," she said fervently. "It sucks."

"There's a lot about this weekend that just sucks," he replied, still feeling a little pissed off that she could not understand just how difficult this situation was for him too.

They both continued to lie there next to each other, dealing with their own anger and frustration at the situation they found themselves in. Finally, Cassie moved to sit up in the bed.

"I suppose I had better go then, before everyone else gets up," she suggested, not looking at Dan as she spoke.

"Please, don't leave mad with me," Dan asked of her. "Please, Cass," he added, reaching up to rub her back.

"I'm not mad at you, Dan," she responded, but still not looking at him. "I am just mad at the situation, and it sucks."

"I think we've covered that bit," he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Doesn't change it though, does it?" she replied tartly.

"No, I guess not," Dan said, sadly. "I love you," he added, trying again to ease the tension.

"I know you do," she said. It was the first time she hadn't ever said it back to him. "I'll meet you in the kitchen," she said as she stood and made her way over to the door.

"I'll need to take a shower first," he said.

"Well, I'll see you when you're finished then," she said before leaving the room, without looking back.

"Fuck it," Dan said aloud to no one in particular after she'd closed the door.

So much for the start to today's silver lining.

********

Twenty minutes later, Dan's shower taken care of, he joined other members of the family in the kitchen.

"Morning everyone," he said as he entered.

He was greeted with a chorus of morning well wishes with Alice offering him an empty coffee cup wordlessly, pointing to the coffee maker over on the counter.

"Has anyone heard from Edward this morning?" Rosalie asked, sipping on her cup of coffee.

"He texted me this morning about seven o'clock. Said he was just about to leave," Alice replied.

"Seven?" Emmett questioned. "He really must want to make a day of it then," he added, realising just a little too late that his words may not be welcomed by everyone present. He quickly sipped at his own coffee, looking guilty as Rose shot him a warning glance from across the room.

"So, who wants what for breakfast?" Jasper asked, changing the topic. "We have a whole selection available, including some good leftovers if anyone's interested," he suggested. Alice levelled Jasper with a look of exasperation before he had the time to think back over what he had just said. It seemed like everyone was putting their foot in their mouths this morning.

Dan had moved across the kitchen with his coffee to stand next to Cassie at the breakfast bar. He realised that everyone was trying to avoid any direct mention of what had happened yesterday and this made him uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as the fact that Cassie didn't want to seem to make eye contact with him. Turning away from her slightly, he tried to put the rest of the family at ease.

"Everyone had better eat up big this morning," he started, "because when Edward gets here, I am sure you will all lose what is left of your appetites again."

His quip seemed to have worked with almost everyone in the room. Most smiled at his direct reference to the very thing they had all been working so hard to avoid saying. Cassie on the other hand, just sipped at her coffee and continued to avert her gaze.

"All right, then. You heard the man, lost son, or whatever the hell you are," Emmett said. "What needs cooking outside? Anything for the barbeque?" he asked.

"Eggs and bacon if you think you can do it without burning everything," Alice replied.

"I'm on it," Emmett replied confidently. "Give me the food and the tongs, and I'm on my way. What about you, mystery man? Care to join me?" he asked, looking at Dan.

"Sure. I'll help," he answered glad to be given the chance to do something other than just stand around.

"The bacon _will_ get fried then," Cassie said dryly, again without looking up from her coffee cup. Dan looked at her, wrinkle lines evident on his forehead, as he tried to gauge why she was so grouchy now.

"Come on then, Dan. Shake a leg," Jasper said, taking in his daughter's attitude. "Seems to me like it will be a bit warmer for you out near the barbeque this morning," he suggested.

With a final brief glance towards Cassie, Dan went with Jasper and Emmett and held the door to the back deck open for Emmett as he tried unsuccessfully to push through it while carrying the eggs and bacon.

Alice looked over towards her daughter, sipping on her own coffee. "What's up with you two this morning?" she asked Cassie directly, not beating around the bush.

"Nothing," Cassie said, not elaborating.

"Bullshit," Alice replied candidly.

"Touché," Rosalie added.

"Spill, Cassie," Alice commanded.

"Nothing to spill," Cassie said.

"And on that note," Rosalie said pouring what was left of her coffee into the sink, "I'm going to wake up my own sleepyhead daughter while you try and get the grumps out of yours. See you in ten."

"Make it fifteen," Alice replied. "Cassie and I need to talk."

"Right. I'll tell the boys to hold off on the eggs for a while then."

"Thanks."

After giving Rosalie time to leave the kitchen, Alice turned to Cassie and without ceremony said, "Cass, let's chat."

"I don't really want to talk about it, Mom," Cassie hedged, looking toward her mother.

"Tough. Come on, up with you. This is a bedroom chat if I'm gauging it right."

"Mom, I really don't –" Cassie started again before Alice cut her off.

"We can chat here if you like, but if I'm right, I don't think that you particularly want anyone listening in," Alice said, levelling her daughter with a look.

"Alright, then. Fine," Cassie responded grumpily. "Your room or mine?" she asked.

"Yours," Alice replied. "We stand less chance of your father coming in on us if we're up there."

Cassie looked at her Mom, carefully, trying to work out just how she could know that this was shaping up to be on of _those_ talks. "Mom, how did you …" she left her question hanging, unfinished.

"Call it mother's intuition. Call it a sixth sense. I don't know. Your father's good at gauging emotion, I'm good at gauging _things_. And this is definitely a_ thing_."

They walked up the stairs towards Cassie's bedroom, arm in arm before entering and closing the door. Alice walked over to Cassie's unmade bed, flipped back the covers, and sat down, patting the bed next to her for her daughter to join her.

"OK, Cass, tell me. What's got your panties in a bunch this morning then?" Alice believed in the direct approach. She was never one for beating around the bush.

"Well," Cassie started, "it's Dan."

"Duh," Alice retorted.

"M-o-m," Cassie drawled. "This is embarrassing enough as it is without you making it worse."

"Sorry, love." Alice said gently. "What's so embarrassing?"

"Well, Dan. Last night. At the beach…" again Cassie left her thoughts unfinished.

Despite it nearly killing her, Alice didn't respond verbally. She just raised her eyebrows while looking her daughter in the eyes. In Alice's head, this conversation could go a couple of ways, and she was quickly willing herself not to act shocked, no matter what she heard.

"Well, we were, you know," Cassie continued, looking at her mother, not wanting to have to spell out all the details.

Again, Alice, trying to not overreact, just pulled her lips into a tight smile and raised her eyebrows even further _– she wondered how much higher up they might actually be able to go._

"Oh, alright. We were on the beach, up the coast, and we were talking, and one thing lead to another, and I was thinking that we were going to… take things further, but then Dan pulled back and said that he didn't want to do it that way and it all stopped." It was one long sentence, uttered in one breath.

Alice let out a breath that she didn't realise she had been holding before she replied, "And that is a problem because…?" she hedged, leaving her own sentence unfinished – _it must be catching_, she thought.

"Because I didn't want it to stop, Mom. I wanted to-" She hesitated, giving Alice a meaningful look.

"Have sex," Alice stated the obvious.

"No, Mom. Make love. I wanted to make love to Dan, and he stopped," Cassie stated her disappointment clearly, her frustration evident, her embarrassment forgotten.

"And he didn't?" Alice clarified.

"Well, he said he did, but then again, this morning-"

"This morning?" Alice repeated, not keeping the shock out of her voice this time.

Cassie looked sheepishly at her mother before she continued, "Yes, Mom. This morning. Earlier on, in the den, I wanted to try again, and well, same thing. He stopped."

"I see." _Oh, thank god. Jasper would have a fit._

"I don't understand why, Mom. I really wanted to. I though all guys wanted to… you know… Isn't it supposed to be some kind of instinct that's hard to turn off once they start?"

"Only if they're imbeciles, love," Alice quipped, before regaining her composure. After a moment Alice asked tentatively, "Have you asked Dan why?"

"Yes. He said last night it was because he didn't want to make love after the way the day had turned out. And this morning, it was because he was distracted. He was too busy listening for sounds outside the room."

_Smart kid. _Taking her daughter's hand in her own, Alice said, "Actually, Cass. They sound like pretty logical reasons to me."

"But, Mom. I thought all guys wanted sex."

"They do, love. Well, not just guys. Most _people_ do."

"So why is Dan different?"

"Has _he_ said that he doesn't want it?"

"No. He said he wants it, but he keeps finding reasons to put it off."

"And you two haven't had sex before now?"

"No."

"Not in Australia?"

"No."

Alice sat quietly, thinking carefully before asking her next question.

"But _you_ have had sex before?"

Cassie took in a deep breath before answering her mother. "Yes."

"OK, then," she replied, taking a deep breath herself. _She's not a baby, keep it cool. _"Well, Cass, like I said before. I think Dan's reasons are perfectly rational. Now wait," she said holding up her hand, to stop Cassie before she interjected, "give me a minute. Yesterday was an emotionally charged day. It was draining for everyone, especially Dan. I'm not surprised he didn't want to take things further with you yesterday. And as for this morning, well," she paused and shrugged her shoulders, "he did have a point. You were in your father's den. Not exactly an ideal location for your first time together."

Cassie sat on her bed, her hand still in her mother's, but she looked straight ahead, thinking. "But Mom, should it matter?"

"Should what matter?" Alice asked seeking clarification as to what her daughter meant by that.

"Should it really matter where we are? Isn't it the emotion behind it that's important? What we want? What we feel? Shouldn't that be the most important thing?"

"Emotions _are_ the most important thing Cass, I agree with you there. But how you feel about _when_ and _where_ you make love to somebody is as important as the love you feel for that person." She gave Cassie a moment to process that before she spoke again. "Do you love him, Cass?"

"I do love him, Mom. I really do. So much so that it's a physical ache most days. God, sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode I want him so much."

_OK then, great! _"Do you know the difference between lust and love, Cass?" Alice asked.

"I know I love him, Mom. My heart aches for him. When we're not together, it feels like part of me is missing, and when he's next to me, I feel right, balanced. Like it's what I've been missing," she added thoughtfully. "But I ache for him too, Mom. I want him to touch me, hold me. I want him to kiss me. My belly aches at the thought of it." _Well, she's nailed that explanation._

"OK. So you get the difference. Have you felt like this before?"

"What? Lust or love?"

"Either," she said aloud. _Keep it cool, Alice, keep it cool_.

"Lust, yeah. I thought I was in love before, but now I understand that it was nothing compared to this. It wasn't what I feel for Dan."

"And this other guy, was he the one you had sex with before?" _Oh please let it be guy and not guys, please._

"Yeah."

"And how was that for you?" Alice asked. _They really need to make a manual for this kind of thing._

"Honestly, a bit of a let down really. Nothing like I thought it would be."

_Dickhead. _"Life isn't like romance novels or movies, love," Alice said, putting an arm around her daughter and rubbing her shoulder, "and the sex often isn't either."

"You're telling me," Cassie said.

_Oh God. _"I have to ask you one more question before we get back to the topic of you and Dan, love," Alice said kindly. "Were you responsible?" _Please, please, please say yes._

"You mean, did we use protection? Yes. I'm on the pill, Mom."

"Oh. Good. How did you…?" Alice asked. _If she's gone to Dad for this, I'll kill him. I don't give a damn about that whole doctor/patient confidentiality crap._

"A doctor on campus."

"Oh. Right," said Alice. _At least Dad's outta this one._ "Now, love, being careful just doesn't mean not getting pregnant. There are other considerations too. Was he responsible? Did he use a condom?"

"Yes, Mom, we were both responsible."

_OK, breathing now. _"Ok. Good, then. Right. Now," Alice stalled, "back to you and Dan," she started, trying to regain her equilibrium. "I think Dan is right about holding off at the moment, love. It's a big step. I know you love him. Does he love you?"

"Yes. Can't you tell?" she asked her mother.

_Shit, fix this Alice. _"Honestly, love. It's pretty obvious to everyone that he cares very deeply for you."

"Then why, Mom. What's wrong with me? Why won't he…" her voice was pained, and it hurt Alice to see her daughter so vulnerable.

"He loves you, Cass. That's why. He's doing the right thing by you, which, these days, by all accounts, is a pretty amazing thing. He's a good guy, Cass," Alice said, meaning every word. "Answer something for me. Is it _obvious_ that he is attracted to you, physically, I mean?"

"Oh, yes," she answered quickly. "He made that pretty clear to me this morning, and last night," she added quietly.

"And he still managed to pull back? Stop things from going any further?" Alice asked.

"Yes."

"I see," Alice answered cryptically. _Even smarter kid._

"I don't."

"Well, Cass," Alice paused, trying to think of a way to put this into words. "What happened this morning after you tried to seduce him in the den?"

"Mom, don't make it sound so sordid."

"I'm not, love. It is what it is. You tried to get it on, and he pulled away. You tried to seduce him, but it didn't work."

"It did up to a point," Cassie corrected.

"My point exactly. What happened after it all went belly up?"

"I left."

"Just like that?"

"I told him I would meet him out in the kitchen after he had his shower."

"So he took a shower then?" _Bingo!_

"Yes."

"So tell me, Cass. What was it that you think he did in the shower, exactly?"

Cassie was quiet for a moment before she eyes opened widely and looked at her mother. "You mean…?"

"I suspect that's exactly what I mean," Alice finished for her. "Most guys can't get that worked up physically without having some kind of release, love. And if you tell me that you guys were at it last night too, and nothing came of it, the poor boy was lucky to be able to get any sleep at all he would have been so uncomfortable, unless of course, he took care of business last night too," Alice added as an afterthought.

"Mom!"

"It's a fact of life, honey. Men and their manly bits are heavily interconnected. One can't think straight if the other hasn't been given due attention."

"Oh gawd, Mom," Cassie groaned, covering her face with her hands.

"Honey, if you want to play in the big leagues with the big girls now, you have to learn the rules, and whether you like it or not, boys have physical needs that are different from our own. You have to learn to deal with that," she looked at her daughter seriously. "Now, that does not mean it is your responsibility to manage their _needs_, but it does mean that you have to be aware of the effect you have on them. It's not fair for either of you if you don't play fair. You've got to understand that," she warned her daughter. "Men are in control of their bodies, no questions there, and no means no, always, but you have to be in control of what messages you send to them. As they say, it takes two to tango." Alice paused, before continuing, making sure she had Cassie's complete attention. "If what you've said is truly how things happened, then Dan has done an incredible job, not only in respecting you and your relationship, but managing his own desires to boot. What he's done can't have been easy," she said, holding up her hand again not allowing Cassie to interrupt, "for either of you, I get that. But love, respect the fact that for a twenty-one year old man, no matter how mature he seems, he's done the right thing here."

Cassie nodded her head slowly, acknowledging her mother's words, but her traitorous tears gave away her underlying emotions.

"Oh love, I know, it's tough," Alice said, hugging her daughter tightly to herself. "Believe it or not, it seems like just yesterday your father and I were learning to deal with similar issues," she said as she continued to comfort her daughter. "Now," she said, sitting back and holding Cassie by the shoulders. "Pull yourself together. We both need to do that actually," she said, giving Cassie a smile.

"Oh, and a couple of more things before we head downstairs." Cassie nodded, ready to listen, grateful for her mother's willingness to always support her, no matter how difficult it seemed at times. "Firstly, I think it would be better if you don't mention this conversation to your father just yet. He thinks he has done a first class job with the whole 'Fatherhood' thing, and I would hate to blow his ego about it all just yet," Alice started. "Secondly, if you are serious about becoming more intimately acquainted with Dan, there are a few things you might like to know about. Things that can help make it, let's just say, more memorable, for the two of you. Now though, is not the time for that conversation, but I will happily talk with you about the details another time, just us girls. We can have a mother/daughter chat sometime soon and talk specifics, OK?" Alice offered, giving her daughter a wink.

"Mom, I love you. So much. Thank you," Cassie said, crushing Alice in a bear like hug.

"I love you too, sweetheart. You don't have to venture into this new world on your own. If you want information or advice, all you have to do is ask," she offered, "but again, it's probably not wise to ask in front of your father." _Jasper would have a fit._

"Got it," Cassie smiled in return.

"Now. Let's get downstairs. I think I could really do with a champagne breakfast right about now. It's a damned pity it's considered too early for a scotch, quite frankly," Alice laughed quietly. "And as for you, young lady, you have a guy to make up with."

Alice and Cassie stepped out into the hall, surprised to meet Esme and Carlisle on their way downstairs.

"Morning," Esme greeted them happily. "Everyone seems up and about early this morning."

"Morning, Mom," Alice responded. "Yes, everyone's up and about. I think Rose should even have Sammy up by now."

"I heard loud grumbling coming from the shower a few moments ago," Carlisle said, "so I say she's had some success. How's my other favourite granddaughter this morning, Cass. Sleep well?"

"Yes, Grandpa," Cassie said, making her way down the stairs. "I'll go tell the boys to put the eggs on now, shall I, Mom?"

"Thanks, love," Alice replied, giving her daughter a smile. "That would be great. An even dozen should do it I think, with everything else we've got."

"OK." Cassie headed over to the doors that opened out onto the back deck. As she made her way outside, she saw Dan with his back to her, laughing easily with her Dad and Emmett while he was turning bacon over on the hotplate. She smiled to herself, glad to see that they seemed to be getting along, despite the events of yesterday.

"Shit, Dan, protect yourself man. Your little lady's on her way," Emmett joked as he saw Cassie approach. He made a point of coming to stand back to back with Dan and holding his hands up, effectively blocking direct route to him. In response to Emmett's words, Dan looked up and over his shoulder towards Cassie as she approached, relieved to see her smile. "I've got your back, buddy. Don't worry," Emmett continued. "These Cullen women can be a force to reckon with once they get their tempers up."

Cassie smiled sarcastically at her uncle as she walked towards him. "Uncle Em, I think I am going to be the least of your worries in about ten minutes, or so. Auntie Rose went to wake up Sammy, and it sounds like she has had to drag her into the shower to get her up and about. I can't imagine Auntie Rose is going to be in too good a mood herself by the time she makes her way back downstairs."

"Dan, buddy," Emmett said, throwing the towel he had been holding over Dan's shoulder. "You're on your own. I've got some fences to mend around the ole Rosie corral before the horse bolts for good. Why can't Sammy realise getting her mother upset first thing in the morning is not a good way to start the day? I swear to god…" his voice trailed off as he walked inside muttering to himself, leaving Dan, Cassie and Jasper outside next to the barbeque.

"How's your Mom doing inside, Cass?" Jasper asked, shaking his head as he watched Emmett disappear into the house.

"OK, I guess. Grandma and Grandpa just made their way downstairs."

"Oh, good. I'll go say hello then. Are you two right out here?" he asked looking at his daughter.

"We're fine, Dad. Dan and I can take it from here."

"Good. I'll see you inside," he said before heading off towards the doors.

Cassie went and stood next to Dan, putting her arm around his waist and leaning her chin into his upper arm, smiling up at him.

"So I take it we're good?" Dan asked her, concentrating on the bacon in front of him.

"I'm good. What about you?" Cassie asked.

"I'm good," he replied nodding, before turning to look to her and continuing, "but I don't understand what all that was about inside before, Cass. Why were you so snippy?"

Cassie looked up at him, and reached up to kiss him softly on the lips. "Let's just say that I was a little frustrated at the recent lack of events, and I didn't have the chance for a shower," she said cryptically.

"Oh," Dan said simply.

"So, babe. Did you enjoy your shower this morning?" she asked, giving him a cheeky smile.

"My shower was," Dan paused wanting to find an appropriate word, "refreshing," he finished, playing along. "Refreshing, but lonely, and definitely far from ideal," he said looking at her intently. "You're the one I want, Cass. I don't want Mrs Palmer and her five daughters. I want you."

Cassie reached up, kissing him much more deeply this time, and he in turn, scooped her into him with his one free hand.

"Hey. You two, the bacon's going to burn," Jasper called from inside the kitchen, looking through the window.

Cassie and Dan pulled apart quickly, turning back to the barbeque and away from adult supervision. "I was meant to be checking on the eggs," Cassie giggled, reaching for the egg carton as she spoke.

"Right. You break and pour. I'll flip," Dan said decisively.

They busied themselves for the next minute or two getting the dozen eggs on to cook. That task achieved, Cassie looked up to Dan again and asked quietly, "tell me, babe. Who's Mrs Palmer?"

Dan smirked at Cassie before lifting his right hand and wiggling his fingers at her. "Don't forget her five daughters, gorgeous," he laughed.

"Oh. My. God." Cassie said, burying her head in his upper arm.

Dan laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Now help me get these eggs off the hotplate before somebody else starts yelling at us."

Breakfast was well underway, the table a cacophony of conversation, moving plates, cutlery and laughter. Nobody was aware of Edward's arrival until he rounded the corner of the dining room and asked aloud, "I hope to god you savages have left something for me."

"Edward," Alice said, looking up from her seat and gesturing with her cutlery as she continued to eat. "Pull up a pew, and grab a plate. If you're quick, you'll beat Emmett to his third helping."

"Ha, you're slipping sweetheart. I'm onto my fourth already. Morning Edward," he greeted his brother-in-law, while reaching for another strip of bacon.

"Morning everyone," Edward said, as he pulled out an empty chair, next to his mother. "Morning, Mom," he said quietly to her, leaning over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Morning, love. How was the drive back up?" she asked.

"Better than yesterday afternoon's trip home. That was a disaster."

"Not too much traffic this morning, then?" Jasper asked.

"Not too much," agreed Edward, reaching for some pancakes. "Interesting breakfast selection you've got going on here, Al."

"Yes, well. We had a few leftovers that we could salvage from lunch. Speaking of which, turkey anyone?" she offered, lifting the platter off the table.

"I'll take some," Emmett said, reaching for the platter.

"Anyone else, before Hoover over here gets a hold of it?" Alice asked, ignoring Emmett's obvious grab for it.

"I'm all right, thanks Alice," Dan said, speaking for the first time since Edward had arrived.

Edward looked over towards Dan, and smiled at him briefly before putting a piece of pancake in his mouth. Dan returned the gesture. _So far, so cordial_, Dan thought to himself. He'd been dreading this moment. He felt a soft squeeze on his thigh, and looked down to see Cassie's hand resting on his leg – albeit a little higher than he would have otherwise expected it. He looked sideways and returned her knowing smile, before focusing again on his breakfast. He was more than a little startled a moment later when he took a sip of his breakfast juice and felt Cassie's hand return to his leg and draw lazy circles on his inner thigh. He coughed as his juice went down the wrong way when he'd sucked in a quick breath.

"Alright there, Dan?" Sammy asked, giving her cousin a devilish glance from across the table. "It's best not to try and eat and drink at the same time," she told him. "It can lead to all sorts of unexpected table hazards."

"Right, thanks Sam. I'll try and remember that," Dan responded once his coughing had subsided. Dan ground his knees together, trying to pin Cassie's fingers, giving her a silent warning to stop her teasing. She got the message, but gave his leg one final squeeze for good measure before removing her hand. Dan leant casually over to his left, pretending to reach for some more condiments before whispering in her ear, "Payback's a bitch, gorgeous," and straightening up again. He hoped to goodness that nobody other than Sammy had worked out what was going on, but he kept his head down and avoided eye contact with anyone else for the next minute or so, just in case.

Once breakfast was over, everyone worked at clearing the table and cleaning away the dishes. Dan noted that Edward had sidled over to Carlisle during the process and that not long after, the two men had disappeared briefly before reappearing a short time later. Dan busied himself with the tea towel and passed his dried dishes to Cassie who put them away. Dan was enjoying himself listening to the banter that flew around him. Everyone seemed at ease this morning, which was different from what he had anticipated. Either that, or everyone was very good at acting.

After the clean up was completed, and fresh coffees were made, the family moved out to the back deck to enjoy the morning sunshine. Edward sat off to the side, in quiet conversation with Jasper and Emmett. Dan realised that he had been carefully monitoring Edward's location throughout the morning and had been surprised that he hadn't made to approach him so far. While it was a relatively relaxed morning, Dan felt as if everyone was actively trying to avoid the proverbial elephant in the room. Still, Cassie hadn't left his side, and the comfort and warmth she brought him allowed him to relax and enjoy her and her family's company. Cassie and Dan sat on the back steps alongside Sammy, who was flipping through some fashion magazine, oohing and aahing at some recent Jimmy Chou shoe collection – not that it meant a thing to Dan.

It was a little after eleven when Edward made his way over to where they were seated.

"Dan," Edward started, as he came to a stand next to Dan and Cassie. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind taking a drive with me for a while."

Dan stood, moving up a step so that he was on level footing with Edward. "Sure," he replied, sounding a little more assured than he felt. "Where to?"

"Just a drive along the coast," Edward responded vaguely. "No where in particular. I just thought it would be good if we could get away and chat for a bit."

"Sounds fair enough," Dan agreed, squeezing Cassie's hand when she placed it inside his after rising and standing next to him. In doing so, she was letting Edward know that she and Dan were a packaged deal. Edward got the message.

"Cass, I hope you don't mind, but I would really like to speak with Dan alone, at first," he added for clarification, looking towards his niece. "No doubt there will be plenty to talk about as a family while we're gone, and again, after we've gotten back," Edward offered gently.

Cassie looked up to Dan, reaching her hand up his arm to squeeze his bicep, looking for his reassurance that this was indeed something he wanted himself.

Dan looked at Cassie's upturned face, and smiled, leaning down to kiss her softly on the lips. "That's fine with me, Cass," he said. "I can't imagine we'd be too long," he said, looking over to Edward for confirmation.

Edward looked at Dan nodding briefly, "I don't expect that you'd need to pack an overnight bag," he answered jokingly.

"He'd better not, Uncle Edward. He's flown out here this weekend to see me, not you," she reminded him.

"Understood," Edward said.

"When do you want to leave?" Dan asked him.

"Whenever you're ready," Edward replied.

"Right, meet you in five then?" Dan confirmed.

"I'll be out front by the car."

"Fine."

"Good," Edward confirmed before putting his hands in his pockets and walking away towards his parents.

"Are you sure you're OK with this?" Cassie asked him.

"Yeah. Fine, gorgeous. What's he going to do? It's not like he can take to me with an axe or anything. He just wants to talk, I expect. Find out what I know. I've got a few questions for him myself."

"Yeah, but yesterday wasn't really smooth sailing though, and he's not usually the most communicative member of the family."

"It'll be fine, Cass. I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."

"I know," she said, "but who's going to look after me while you're gone?"

"You don't need looking after. Maybe a damned good spanking for what you tried at the breakfast table earlier," he reminded her. "But looking after. Nope. Not necessary."

"That wasn't real subtle, Cass," Sammy piped up, but not lifting her head from her magazine.

"Nobody saw anything," Cassie defended herself.

"They didn't need to. Good ole poker face here let everyone in on what was happening."

"Well, you sure as hell didn't help any," Dan replied, "drawing attention to it."

"Matey," she said, reverting to one of her Aussie names for him, "I managed to give you a couple of moments to collect yourself. You should be grateful."

"You think?" Dan questioned.

"And next time, Cass," she continued, looking at her cousin from over the top of her magazine, "hide both hands under the table like your holding your napkin or something. Makes it less obvious."

Cassie smirked at Sammy as she took Dan's hand and they headed back through the house and out towards the front yard. Edward was waiting by his car and Dan stopped at the top of the front stairs to say goodbye to Cassie.

"I'll see you in a little bit, gorgeous," he said, reaching down to kiss her softly on the lips.

Cassie returned his kiss just as gently and then reached out to cup the side of his face with one hand.

"Try to keep it cool, huh?" Cassie asked him quietly.

"Don't worry," he reassured her.

"Have you got your phone on you?" she asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Call me if you need me, OK?" she suggested.

Dan smiled at her fretting and reached out to rub her shoulders with his hands. "I'm good. Stop worrying. I'll call you when we're headed back. Maybe we can go out ourselves, after? Just you and me."

"I'd like that," she said, pulling herself into his arms to give him one last cuddle, which he returned warmly. After a moment, she stepped away from him. "Ok, then. Off you go."

"Talk to you soon," Dan said as he made his way down the stairs and then over to Edward's car.

Edward had watched the tender exchange between his niece and his maybe son and felt a twinge of sadness. For the first time, he began to appreciate that it wasn't just his own life that was being turned upside down by the unexpected events of yesterday. He smiled briefly at Dan as he reached the car.

"Car's unlocked," Edward said by way of greeting.

"Thanks," Dan replied as he opened the door and got in.

Both men buckled up without exchanging any further small talk and Edward started up the engine.

"So," Edward started, "where would you like to go?"

"I have no idea, Edward. Really. I've never been here before. It's all new to me."

"How about a drive up the coast?"

"Sounds fine," Dan responded. Their words were brief but courteous enough.

Edward drove off down the road and headed towards the coast. It was quiet in the car, an uncomfortable silence settling between them. He tried to break the ice by commenting on the weather.

"You've lucked out with the weather this weekend," he said.

"Mmm," Dan replied looking out the window before turning his head to look at Edward's profile, "but somehow, I don't think you've asked me to come on a drive with you to talk about the weather."

Edward looked briefly over towards Dan before focusing back on the road in front him. "No, you're right. I didn't." He took a deep breath, aware of Dan's continued scrutiny. "I want to apologise for leaving yesterday like I did. I needed to get away. Sort through my head. Work some things out," he started to say, his words stilted, reflecting his difficulty in getting this conversation started.

"So, how did that work out for you?" Dan asked him directly.

"Honestly," he said, looking across at Dan, "it was pretty intense. It dragged up a whole lot of painful memories I would rather have kept buried."

"Hmm," Dan responded.

"Dan, look. I really don't know how to start this conversation."

"The beginning seems like a good idea," Dan replied, thinking back to something Cassie had said to him twice before, once yesterday and another time when they were in Australia.

"The beginning," Edward repeated. "Where is that, exactly?" he asked in return. "Would that be yesterday, when I found out that I could in fact have a fully grown son I knew nothing about, or would that be twenty odd years ago, back to a night I don't even really remember?"

"You don't remember sleeping with my mother?" Dan asked him.

Edward took a deep breath, using the time to look in the rear vision and side mirrors while he collected his thoughts. "No, Dan. I don't remember much about it at all, if in fact, it was your mother that I did sleep with."

"I thought that you admitted it yesterday, in the living room, when Rosalie was saying," Dan paused, recalling that dreadful exchange, "things."

Again, Edward paused, trying to phrase his next words carefully. "Dan, I remember a night, or more correctly, a morning after, twenty odd years ago, when I realised I had slept with someone while I was blind drunk and stoned out of my mind," Edward said, again looking briefly over towards Dan as they drove. Edward heard Dan's sharp intake of breath in response to what he had said. He pressed on regardless. "It's not a time in my life that I am very proud of, but you need to know one thing - that night, that situation - was very out of character for me." He paused, looking over to Dan, wanting to make eye contact with him. He didn't say anymore until the younger man looked in his direction briefly, acknowledging in some small way that he had heard him. "I was in a band, Dan, but I wasn't generally into the whole band scene. In fact, after the summer of '87, I quit the band I was in altogether."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't like the way things were working out for me. I didn't like who I was becoming, and it scared the hell out of me," Edward replied honestly. "After that one night, I did a lot of thinking and started changing a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"I've already told you. I quit the band. I then refocused on my studies. I changed my direction. That summer had a major impact on my life, too."

"And you don't remember my mother?"

"Dan, I still don't even know if your mother was the girl I slept with."

"But you said –" Dan started, but was cut off by Edward.

"I said that there was," he paused before continuing, "that there was evidence left behind, evidence I found the next morning, but I didn't even put two and two together until much later in the day." Edward stopped there for a moment, remembering back to that morning so many years ago. "I wasn't in any fit state to do a lot of processing at first. I had one hell of a hangover, and woke up alone. I had no idea what had gone on."

Dan was silent and returned to looking at the scene out the window as they drove along.

"Dan, I need to find out some information from you. Why do you think I am your father? Why couldn't it have been some other guy from some other band?"

Dan sat silently for a moment, thinking back to the conversations from yesterday. Edward remained silent too. He wanted Dan to answer these questions. He had answered the ones Dan had asked so far.

Dan realised that he hadn't shared many details at all yesterday – no specifics as such. He was about to lay all his cards on the table and let them fall where they will.

He looked across at Edward as he went to speak, wanting to watch his reaction as he told him what he knew.

"Because my mother told me that my father's name was Eddie and that he played in a band named Vamp."

Edward kept his head facing forward as he listened to what Dan said, but his eyes darted quickly to the side in response. That information clarified a few things. Dan had the correct band name and the fact that he was the only Eddie in the band, definitely seemed to seal the deal. The band had five members in those days. Edward had since lost contact with all of them. After he had quit the band at the end of that fateful summer gig, Vamp had continued to play at local pubs and clubs around the campus area, but fizzled out after twelve months or so. Edward had been primarily responsible for writing most of their original music. Without him, the band had become nothing more than a cover band, playing other people's music. Vamp had become no different than the hundreds of other cover bands out there and despite being made up of talented musicians, they had nothing unique to offer and their gigs had dried up. It was nothing Edward had felt responsible for. While the band had been a way for him to earn extra money during his college years, he'd decided that the life of a rock band member wasn't for him and he'd done what he needed to do for his own future. He'd stayed true to who he was in the end, despite the small hiccup, if you could call it that, along the way.

"Ok. Well that narrows things down," Edward said cryptically as he focused on the drive. "There's a hotel up the road here. How about we pull in for a drink and talk some more."

"Fine," Dan responded. He was disappointed by Edward's response. He'd wanted more when he had revealed those pieces of information. He'd expected more. He wasn't sure what he had expected really, but that cryptic response hadn't been it.

They sat in silence as Edward pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and turned off the engine. They walked in silence into the bar area of the hotel, and they didn't speak again until Edward enquired of Dan what he would like to drink.

"A beer, thanks," Dan said when he was asked.

"Anything in particular?" Edward asked in return.

"Whatever's on tap."

Edward ordered their drinks and Dan caught his eye, motioning to a small table over towards the side of the bar that would give them some relative privacy. Edward nodded in return before turning back to the bar to pay for and then grab the drinks as followed Dan over to the table.

"Thanks," Dan said, as Edward slid the drink over to him and sat down.

Each man sipped from their beer quietly, avoiding eye contact. Eventually, Edward broke the growing tension.

"You seem to have done your research very well, Dan."

"I didn't track you down, if that's what you're implying," Dan said icily. "I didn't exactly expect you to come walking into Thanksgiving lunch yesterday as Cassie's reclusive uncle."

"Is that how she describes me?" Edward asked.

"She's only mentioned you once or twice. Said you were a musician and that you didn't spend too much time with the family except on holidays and the like," Dan offered before taking another sip of his beer. "I had no idea of your name," he added for clarification.

"Well, she was right about most of it. I am a musician, although now-a-days, I tend to write rather than play. I play mostly for myself these days."

"What do you play?"

"A variety of things, but keyboards and guitar mainly."

"That's one of the things my mom remembered," Dan said, bringing the topic back around. "She remembered that you played keyboard and guitar."

"What else does she remember?" Edward asked.

Dan looked steadily at Edward. He had to be straight with him he'd decided, if he was ever going to get the answers he was so desperately after.

"Honestly, not much more," Dan said. "She remembers drinking. She remembers you having a mullet and dark black hair. She remembers you were tall. That, and your name, and the band's name are about it."

Edward listened attentively, his beer forgotten. He was more and more convinced after listening to what Dan was saying that he was in fact looking at his own son in front of him. It was a disconcerting moment.

"Tell me, Dan," Edward began, "what has she told you about what happened after?"

"After?" Dan questioned.

"The next day. What happened after."

"She left."

"The room?"

"The resort," Dan clarified. "She said, she woke early the next morning, got out of your room, embarrassed as hell and went back to her own room. They, she and her friends, left the same day."

"They left the resort? Where did they go?"

"Home. Their holiday was over."

Edward sat there, his forearms resting on the table, his hands together. He looked at his hands as he asked the next question. "Did she ever say anything about leaving a note?"

"A note?" Dan repeated. He shook his head. "No. Nothing about a note," he added, trying to look Edward in the eye.

Edward continued to sit there, his head bowed. This piece of information didn't fit the puzzle so far.

"Why are you asking about a note?" Dan asked.

"Because when I was cleaning up the room the next morning, the morning after, I found a note left up against the kettle in the kitchenette in the room."

"What did it say?" Dan asked.

Edward paused. He was debating with himself whether this was the right time to show Dan the note or not. His internal debate was being played out in the expressions on his face.

"What did the note say, Edward?" Dan asked again.

Edward removed one hand from the table and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out his wallet from his trousers, and brought it up to the table and held it in front of him. He opened it and pulled out a well-worn and folded piece of paper, and silently held it out to Dan.

Dan looked curiously at the small piece of paper being offered to him before looking up at Edward. At Edward's silent beckoning, Dan reached forward with surprisingly shaky fingers to take the note from Edward's proffered hand. He opened it slowly, trying not to tear the paper. It was obvious it was old, and that it had been opened and closed many times before. It was dirtied around the folded edges and had slightly yellowed either from age or from handling over time. He looked at the words written there, and the single initial that stood in place of a full signature. He recognised the single letter. It had a distinctive curl at the base of the 'B', identical to the way his mother wrote her own B in brief notes and letters.

Dan stared at the note. Edward's next question interrupted his thoughts.

"So, she never said anything about leaving a note behind?" Edward asked again.

"No," Dan said quietly, still mesmerised by it.

"That note changed my life, Dan." Edward said, equally as quiet.

Dan looked up towards Edward, understanding fully for the first time, that the man in front of him, was in fact his father.

"I recognise the 'B'," he said, looking at Edward. "She writes her 'B' the same way now, with a little swirl at the bottom," Dan said, maintaining eye contact with him.

Edward returned Dan's gaze. He too, was finally coming to appreciate what such an admission meant. This was in fact, his son. A child he had helped to conceive over twenty years before, without knowing. A child whom he didn't know, but was, if these revelations were correct, his son.

"It was that note, Dan. That note, made me change the direction my life had taken up to that point. It reminded me of who I wanted to be; what I wanted to be. What happened that night wasn't who I was. It was a first for me, and I never let something like that happen again. Ever."

Dan looked down at the worn piece of paper again, and reread the message it contained.

"I thought its influence on my life was finished so many years ago," Edward continued, "but now I'm thinking it's just about to start all over again."

Dan listened to Edward's words as he again read the message:

_Eddie_

_I'm sorry. _

_This is so not who I am_

_And so not who I want to be._

_B_

"We've got a lot to talk about, Dan," Edward said.

Dan sat at the table, alternating his gaze between Edward and the note, over and over. "I know," he said simply. "Where do we start?"

******************

So, you know the drill. Leave me a review, even a smilie (*wink at MJ) will do. I truly appreciate all the feedback, and the time that some of you are taking to leave detailed and heartfelt reviews… they are awesome.

Come play on the thread over on Twilighted – we really are a friendly bunch.


	16. Chapter 16

Here's another quick update for those of you who want more of Dan and Edward's conversation.

Thanks to my terrific trio. You are goddesses.

**Chapter 16 – Father and Son**

"I don't think there's going to be a right place to start, Dan," Edward responded. "I think this is as good as we're going to get."

Dan didn't respond. He was still looking at the note he held in his hands, thinking back over the last ten minutes or so of conversation. He was surprised that he and Edward had been able to get to this point, where they were talking civilly to each other, each slowly coming to terms with what the last twenty-four hours had brought about.

Edward continued to regard the young man in front of him; the one he was now convinced was his son. He realised he had so much he wanted to know about him, so much he had to learn. Starting that process was going to be a daunting task.

"What are you thinking about, Dan, if you don't mind me asking?" Edward questioned.

Edward's words broke Dan's train of thought, and he looked away from the note and into Edward's eyes. "I was wondering why Mom never mentioned that she had left a note," he answered honestly.

"I don't have an answer to that," Edward said in a matter of fact tone.

"Mmm."

"Tell me about your Mother, Dan."

"Her story is hers to tell, Edward. I meant what I said yesterday. My mother is not the topic of conversation here."

"You're very protective of her," Edward stated.

"I have to be. It's just me and her. It has been now for a while."

"Has your mother ever married?" Edward asked, spurred on by Dan's last comment.

Dan regarded Edward, wondering whether to answer his question or not. Edward waited patiently as he read Dan's expression, reflecting his internal struggle to protect his mother and her privacy. Finally, Dan answered.

"No. She's never married. She's never really had a serious relationship that I'm aware of. For a long time, it was just my grandparents, my Mom and me. Then, after they died, it was just Mom and me."

Edward said nothing to this at first, but just sat opposite his son in quiet contemplation.

"Did you always live with your grandparents?"

"Yes."

"How long ago did they pass away?" Edward asked quietly.

"My grandpa died when I was fifteen. My Nan went six months later."

"And since then, it's just been you and your Mom," Edward stated, seeking confirmation of what Dan had said moments ago.

Dan simply nodded his head.

A few moments passed with further silence, before Edward continued gently probing for information. "You said yesterday that you were born in Forks. That's in Washington State, right?"

"Yeah, that's where we lived up until a few years ago," Dan answered, his eyes returning to the note he still held.

"Why did you move?"

"I got a part-scholarship to Dartmouth."

Edward realised that Dan wasn't going to give up a lot of information just yet. His answers to questions were all brief and to the point. None of them were elaborated upon. Edward thought of something that might help.

"The beach front along here is pretty amazing. Want to go for a walk?" he asked, hoping to lure Dan's focus away from the note he was still holding in both hands.

Again, Dan looked up at Edward, and this time, he shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose, if you want to."

"I think the fresh air might do us some good, work up an appetite for lunch as well," Edward said. "Can I take that back?" he asked indicating the note.

Dan looked briefly at it before he let go of it with his left hand, and silently offered it back to Edward with his right.

"Thanks," Edward said simply, and after taking it from Dan, began to fold it carefully before replacing it in his wallet.

"Why did you keep it?" Dan asked, as he watched Edward.

Edward finished putting his wallet back into the pocket of his pants before answering him. "Like I said, Dan, that note changed my life. It became an anchor, a symbol if you like. I carried it around in my wallet for years but when it started to become too damaged by all the wear and tear, I locked it away for safe keeping."

"You locked it away?" Dan repeated.

"Yes, in my safe."

"Why?" he asked again.

"Because it became a mantra for me, of sorts. Still is."

Dan didn't say anything else, but it was obvious to Edward there was more he wanted to ask. "How about we go for that walk?" Edward asked. "Finish up your beer and we'll head off."

"I'm done," Dan said, pushing his beer away from him.

"Good, me too. Let's go," Edward said as he stood.

Dan followed Edward's lead and pushed himself upright.

They walked together out the door to the hotel and over to the car. "There's a spot, not too far from here that's a great walk. Jump in, we'll be there in five."

As they headed off up the road towards the spot Edward was after, Dan asked a question that had been on his mind all morning. "If you don't mind me asking, what was it you and Carlisle talked about this morning?"

"You saw that, did you?" Edward asked in return.

"I saw the two of you head off, and I couldn't help think that maybe it was about me."

"It was," Edward confirmed. "I asked Dad yesterday on the phone about DNA testing. He has spoken to a colleague of his, and he was giving me some information about it all."

"OK," Dan responded. Edward didn't add anything more, so Dan asked the next obvious question. "Do you want to pursue it then? The DNA testing, that is."

"I'd like to be sure," Edward said confirming Dan's suspicions. "How would you feel about that?"

"I suspected that it would be involved somewhere along the line. I've looked up details of it myself in recent months."

"You haven't been collecting stray hair fibres without my knowledge have you?" Edward asked with a smile, trying to make light of the situation.

Dan chuckled under his breath at the absurdity of it all. "No," he smiled, "but that might have been a smarter way to handle it now, come to think of it," he added. "If only I'd kept my shit together for a bit longer yesterday, I could have been more cloak and dagger about it all."

Edward laughed quietly too. "People might have wondered what the hell you were doing though," he said.

"Yeah, apparently, according to Sammy, my poker face isn't that good," Dan said, thinking back to Sammy's comment about the incident at the breakfast table earlier this morning.

"Mmm," Edward said thoughtfully, "yeah. I picked up on that, too," he added. Dan looked quickly over at Edward, who returned Dan's questioning look with another smile. "But I was watching you quite closely myself this morning and I don't really think any of the others noticed anything."

"Great," Dan said turning to look out the window, thinking the exact opposite.

Edward gave Dan a moment to get over his embarrassment before he continued the conversation, wanting to keep the boy talking. "So," he started, "you and Cassie. You two seem pretty serious."

"Yeah," Dan said.

"Do you love her?" Edward asked bluntly.

Dan turned to look at him, trying to gauge his reason for asking. He couldn't see anything there other than interest and curiosity.

"Cassie's my niece, Dan. She's a special girl," Edward said by way of justifying his question.

"I know, you don't have to tell me that."

Edward looked at Dan closely, wanting an answer to his original question. "So? You still haven't answered me."

"Yes, Edward. I love her."

"Thought so," he said, confirming his own observations. "It's pretty obvious how strongly you feel for her. I suspect it's mutual, you know."

"I know it is."

"The distance thing must make it pretty tough, though."

"Yeah, and it's only one of the stumbling blocks that seem to keep coming our way," Dan replied.

"Have you and Cassie had much of a chance to talk about all of this yet?"

"No, not much. A little bit, but not much," Dan answered honestly.

"You still seem pretty tight," Edward observed.

"We love each other, Edward."

Edward didn't say anything else at this point. He was happy to let the conversation drift, but Dan had other ideas.

"She promised me that we'd face this together. She told me that she loves me, and that we will face the fallout from this together."

"The fallout?"

"Whatever happens from all of this," Dan said, waving his hand between himself and Edward.

"And what do you think the fallout will be?"

"I have absolutely no bloody idea," Dan said, letting one of his Aussie words sneak out.

"Do you see this being a bad thing, finding me?" Edward asked openly.

"It wasn't boding too well, yesterday, you've got to admit," Dan replied. "It looked like the whole thing, including me and Cassie was going to go up in smoke at one point."

"But it didn't," Edward reminded him. "You and Cassie came out to meet us together."

"Yeah," Dan reflected. "You have no idea how scared I was that finding out who you were was going to mean the end of Cassie and me," Dan said, emotion coming to the surface to rest in those words. "I thought I'd lost her for good."

"But you haven't."

"No, I haven't," Dan replied. Taking a breath, he asked Edward another question. "How come you're adopted?"

It was Edward's turn to become quiet and as they had reached their destination, he swung off the road and parked the car before answering.

"My birth parents were killed in a car accident when I was six months old."

"I'm sorry," Dan responded automatically.

"Don't be, it was a long time ago. It has nothing to do with you," Edward answered dismissively. He continued as if Dan had said nothing. "Carlisle and Esme were my godparents and they were looking after me the night it happened. Carlisle and my father were friends from med school," Edward said, "and my parents were going out on a date night. They were killed, and I never went back home again. I stayed with Carlisle and Esme from that night on, and they have been the only parents I've ever known."

"You love them." It was a statement.

"Yes, Dan. I do. They have never been anything other than loving and generous with me, despite all the shit I threw their way when I was younger and walked around with a chip on my shoulder. I caused them a lot of pain at times when I was growing up. I did it again yesterday, too," he said thoughtfully. "But that conversation is for another time," he said as he opened the car door. "Let's walk."

They got out of the car and Dan followed Edward over to the beach entrance. "Are you a shoes on or shoes off kind of guy, Dan?" Edward asked him.

"On the sand? Shoes off," Dan replied, "I can't stand sand in my shoes."

"Me either. Ha! That's our first thing in common," Edward laughed as he bent to begin taking off his shoes.

Dan leant forward to do likewise and said, "You mean aside from the same gene pool apparently?" Dan quipped.

"Yeah. Well, that too," Edward said smiling. He straightened up holding his shoes in his hand. "You never did answer me directly, you know. How do you feel about having a DNA test done?"

"I'm OK with it. I want definitive answers too. If we don't do it, we will never be certain, will we? There will always be some possibility of doubt there, don't you think?"

"I suspect you're right," Edward replied. "After this morning, Dan, I'm pretty sure that you've worked this out right and that you've got all your ducks in a row, but I'd feel better knowing for sure."

"Me too. At least, that way, I can tell Mom something definite."

Edward looked at Dan quickly. "Tell your Mom something def…" he left his thought unfinished as he looked at Dan curiously. "What have you told her?"

"So far, not much. She knows I was trying to find you, but I never told her that I had a name."

"Why not?" Edward asked surprise. "The way you talk, I thought that you two don't keep secrets from each other."

"We're truthful with each other, but she doesn't know everything about me, nor me about her. There are some times in her life I don't know much about at all," Dan said honestly. "And I hadn't spoken to anyone about what I had found out about you. I had planned to speak to Cassie for the first time about it this weekend. I wanted some advice as to what to do next. I was unsure whether I wanted to proceed further or not. I had no idea that you would turn up on the doorstep."

"What? You mean you would have just stopped with a name?"

"I don't know, Edward," Dan said, feeling agitated for the first time since they had left the house. "I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wondered whether it was worth bringing up all this pain again. Stirring the pot. I was of two minds about it all. I don't think I would have stopped, but I wasn't sure I was going to want to continue either, knowing what memories it would stir up."

Edward said little. He started walking slowly down the path toward the beach, Dan falling into step with him. "Well," he said eventually, "I guess it was fortuitous that I did turn up on the doorstep yesterday then after all, since you may well have decided not to pursue me any further. If that had been the case, I still wouldn't know that I have a fully grown son."

"But your life wouldn't have been any different not knowing, Edward. You've had no idea, your life would go on just as it always has" Dan pointed out. "Mine and my Mom's on the other hand, were going to be turned completely upside down if I decided to seek you out, and I knew that. The information I found out had given me the power to change people's lives, and I didn't know if I was ready to do that. But I suppose it's all water under the bridge. It's a done deal, now."

"But could you have just left it alone, knowing I was out there, and not pursue it?"

"I suppose we'll never know."

"Hmm," Edward said, looking out to sea as they emerged onto the beach. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad that you didn't," he finished.

"Are you really?" Dan pushed. "You're glad that I ruined your family's Thanksgiving and upset everyone?"

"You didn't ruin Thanksgiving for anyone, Dan."

"On the contrary. I think I did a pretty good job of fucking it up, actually."

Edward looked at Dan closely and narrowed his eyes. "Secrets don't serve any good purpose, Dan. Secrets only serve to create distance and pain - and they can hurt the ones you love most. Secrets are never a good thing."

"Sounds to me like you've been keeping a few secrets yourself over the years though," Dan challenged him.

"And look what that did yesterday. It hurt me, and my family. The truth is an important thing. You'd do well to remember that," Edward said, looking seriously at Dan as they walked along the beach. "I can't imagine your mother is going to be too happy to learn that you've been keeping information from her, especially if she has always been upfront with you."

Dan looked across to Edward carefully before answering him. "I don't know how to even start to tell her about all of this," Dan said honestly. "How do I go about telling her everything that has happened?"

"Start with the truth."

Dan continued to walk, kicking the sand out in front of him as he went.

"I could come back with you, if you want. We could talk to her together," Edward offered sincerely.

"No." Dan's response was quick and to the point. "I mean, thanks, but no. I can't do that to her. I don't know how she'll take it when I tell her that I've worked out who you are, let alone that I've met you this weekend."

"You don't have to do this alone anymore, Dan. I can help you."

"No, Edward. I can't. I have to tell her myself."

It was Edward's turn to feel ill at ease as they continued to walk along. "Do you think she'll want to meet me again, after all this time?"

"I don't know. I'd be lying if I said 'yes'. She is a proud woman; independent and strong. I don't know how she will feel about meeting with you face to face."

"She'd have to eventually, though," Edward continued reasonably. "I mean, if you and I are to have a relationship from this point, she'd have to be prepared to meet me at some time in the future."

"Do you want to have a relationship with me, Edward?" Dan asked him. "Do you want to do that?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't, Dan. I wouldn't have driven back here this morning if I didn't want to get to the bottom of this, and get to know who you are," he answered honestly, "and besides, if you and Cassie are involved in a permanent relationship, I'm part of her family. It's not like you would be able to ignore me, or me, you."

"True," Dan said, as they both continued to walk along the beach, each lost in their own thoughts.

"What did you and Cassie have planned for this weekend?" Edward eventually asked him. "I doubt you had this on your list of activities."

"What, walking along the beach with my previously unknown father?" Dan said, using the term for the first time.

Edward smiled, realising that Dan had referred to him by their family connection for the first time. "Yeah, that's exactly what I meant," Edward answered, adding the word 'son' in his mind, but not saying it aloud.

"Actually, I had planned on taking Cassie out on our first official date. We haven't had one of those, you know," Dan said. "Our entire relationship has been formed in the presence of others, aside from stolen moments and phone calls or emails and the like. I planned on taking her out, dinner and a movie, maybe a night away in private, just the two of us."

"Have you had any alone time together at all?" Edward asked curious.

"Only a stolen hour, here or there. Nothing substantial."

"And yet you've managed to fall in love with her," Edward stated.

"She's it for me, Edward. She's my one. I can't explain it clearly. I just know, that she's it."

"You're young, Dan. How can you be so sure?" Edward asked with

genuine curiosity. "Now, don't look at me like that," he said, when Dan tried to level him with a gaze. "I'm not being nosy, or playing the would-be father card here. I'm just curious to know how you know. You seem so sure."

"I have no idea how I know it for sure, I just do. Maybe it's the distance thing. We've had to learn to communicate well enough to counteract that. Despite the fact that we don't get to spend much physical time together, she is always on my mind. It's not just the thought of her either. It's her. All of her."

"She can be a bit of a handful at times," Edward noted, stating fact.

"Hmm. Yeah. I've experienced that," Dan said, smiling, "But her heart is good. She's funny and warm and sensitive. She gets me. We just connected on some level, from the first time I saw her." And with that, Dan spent the next fifteen minutes or so telling Edward about his trip to Australia and how he'd met Cassie. He told him about his hesitation at beginning a relationship with her, and he was honest about his reasons why. Edward didn't say much during Dan's retelling. He listened carefully, nodding his head here and there, and making eye contact with Dan often as he shared his memories. As they walked along the beach, Edward began to develop an appreciation for the sensitivity of this young man walking alongside him. It made him proud, he realised, and it was a new feeling for him. He was proud of this man, his son.

When Dan's conversation finally slowed, Edward stopped walking and turned to look Dan in the eye. "That's one hell of a story you've just shared," Edward said. "Cassie is one lucky young lady to meet a guy with as much backbone and conviction as you."

"Thank you, Edward," Dan said, unsure how else to respond.

"I mean it, Dan. I understand why you didn't want to start something with her, and I am sorry that I inadvertently played a role in that part of your story. I'm glad you saw a way to work through it."

"Cassie and I are working on it together, Edward."

"I understand that too, and I am glad that yesterday's hiccup - if you can call it that - hasn't proved to be too much for either of you."

"It's still a work in progress, as they say, but yeah, I'm glad, too. In fact, glad probably isn't the right word for it."

"Speaking of my niece, I think we've probably stayed away long enough. She'll be chewing me out if I don't get you back to her soon. She's inherited her mother's inclination for straight talk, that one."

"And her father's," Dan said, and as they started their way back along the beach, he began to tell Edward about his meeting Cassie at LAX the morning before, and his introduction to Jasper.

Edward laughed out loud when Dan told him about Jasper's "call me Jasper" line. "Yes, that sounds like Jaz," Edward said. "Boy, you really are going to have your hands full with Cassie aren't you?" Edward teased, and then realising how what he said could be misconstrued, tried to correct it by saying, "I mean, she's not going to pull her punches, that one. She's grown up in a household where everyone speaks their mind."

It was Dan's turn to laugh. "Yes, she has and Alice has become my greatest ally by the looks of it. She has given Cassie a few little words of wisdom from time to time."

"My sister is one of a kind," Edward confirmed. "In fact, Rose and Alice both are. They're unique."

"You're a lucky man, Edward," Dan said genuinely, "to have such a great family."

"Yes, I am, even if my behaviour yesterday didn't show that, I know it."

"My family has always been small. Now it's just my Mom and me, it's tiny. I like the noise and the banter of your family. There's a real sense of togetherness amongst them all," Dan observed.

"You know, Dan," Edward said looking at him closely, "they're your family now, too."

Dan stopped walking and looked at Edward. Edward stopped in turn, and faced Dan yet again. "I meant what I said earlier, Dan. I want to get to know you. We'll get this DNA thing out of the way, get through what's left of this weekend, and then we'll go on from there. But I want you to know, that now that you've found me, I don't want to just let it all go. I want to be part of your life, and I want to learn about your history, your story. I may never be a father figure to you in the true sense of the word, but I want to be a part of your life, in whatever way you'll let me. The decision in the end, of course, is yours. I just want you to know where I stand. I feel like I have missed out on too much of your life to date, and I don't want to miss out on any more."

Edward had spoken emotionally, from his heart. He had realised now, that he had been given the chance for something he had long lost hope for, and it wanted to grab hold of the opportunity with both hands and not let it slip through his fingers. "I mean it, Dan. It's your call, but that's want I want."

"Wow," Dan said, taken back by the intensity of it all. "After yesterday, and all the confusion it brought, I just didn't expect…" he left the rest of his thoughts unspoken.

"I understand," Edward said, raising a hand to put it on Dan's shoulder, "and I'd be lying if I said I've been thinking of anything else since I got home yesterday. It took me a while to get over the shock of it, and I can guarantee it won't be all plain sailing from here. I've got a lot of questions I want to have the chance to ask and have answered, and I suspect there will be a lot to deal with in the future. But I want in, if you'll let me."

Dan, overcome with emotion, pressed his lips together and nodded his head in reply, dropping his gaze to stare at the sand on the beach between them. Edward gave him time to get his emotions in check, dropping his hand from his shoulder, giving him the space he needed.

Slowly, Dan raised his eyes to Edward's. "I think I want that too, Edward," he said simply.

"OK, then. Onwards and upwards from here, as they say," Edward replied and gave him a hearty slap on the back as they headed off again back towards the car. "And I think I may have something that might help you bridge the gap when you go home to talk to your mother, too. When is that, by the way?"

Dan looked to Edward again, his brow furrowed. "Sunday, 3 o'clock."

"Expensive," Edward said, referring to the time of the flight.

"Yeah, it was the only one I could get at the time," Dan acknowledged.

"True love costs, huh?"

"I'll say."

"So, do you know where you want to take Cassie out on your date tonight?" Edward asked.

"I wasn't really sure. With everything going on, I wasn't sure how much time we could actually wrangle, to tell you the truth. I thought we might just be able to go for a drive like we did yesterday."

"I think you'll have plenty of time if you want it," Edward said and Dan glanced at him questioningly. "I need a bit of chat time with the family. I'm sure they'll have plenty of questions that will need answering, and I reckon I could string them along for a few hours at least," Edward winked at him.

"You want to do that alone?" Dan asked.

"Unless you want to face the wrath that is Rosalie again?" Edward returned with his own question.

"No, thanks. I'll pass on that one."

"Smart lad. Now, I know of a couple of restaurants up around that neck of the woods if you want a suggestion, but you might need to make a reservation. We could do that on the drive home, if you like."

"That would be good, thanks."

"All right, then. And we should probably grab a bite to eat on the way home too. I suspect everyone will have eaten again by now."

"Probably," Dan agreed, looking at his watch. "Geez, I didn't realise what the time was."

"Me either."

"Edward? What did you mean that you may have something to help me out with telling Mom about you?"

"I have something at home that might help. I can give it to you Sunday if you like, before you leave," he answered, not explaining any further. "How would you feel about you and Cassie driving down to my place tomorrow and staying Saturday night? I'm only twenty minutes out of LA, and that way you could get some more one on one time with Cassie and see where I live. You could leave from there for the airport, and Cassie wouldn't have to make the whole drive there and back in one day. What do you think?"

"Yeah, that could work, but I'd want to ask Cassie about it though."

"Fair enough. I have a pretty big house, so there's plenty of room."

"Yeah, well about that," Dan said stopping as they neared the car. "I was hoping for some real alone time with Cassie before I headed off home again," Dan hinted, not wanting to spell it out in too much detail – Edward was Cassie's uncle after all.

"Oh, I see," Edward said, trying to keep his expression neutral. "Well, I have got separate guest accommodation, but ahh…" he left his sentence unfinished.

"Yeah…," Dan let his own unfinished thought hang in the air. "Let me talk things over with Cassie, OK, Edward?"

"Right. Good plan."

"OK. Do you mind if I say something?" Dan asked.

"No. What's on your mind?"

"Today," he said simply. "You and me. It's worked out very differently than what I'd expected."

"How so?" Edward questioned.

"You are a lot more communicative than I thought you'd be," Dan said.

"Mmm. Well, Dan. Without wanting to get too much into this right now, I've experienced a lot of loss in my life, and I haven't always handled it well. In fact - to use one of your own words here - I've pretty much fucked it up, well and truly," Edward said, smiling at Dan and leaning on the top of his car. "I was up most of last night trying to work out how to handle this. It was really quite stressful. I slowly came to the realisation that maybe, just maybe, I was being given another chance at something that I thought had passed me by," he said cryptically. "I don't want to fuck this up. You have no idea how hard this little chat this afternoon, has been for me. I've fought every instinct, every regular pattern of behaviour I have, to do this with you, and I've got to admit, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself right now." He smiled to himself. "But it has also given me one hell of a headache, and I really need some chill out time now before we face the rest of the family," he said pushing off and opening the car door, before climbing in. Dan did the same, and once they were inside and belted up, Edward looked over to Dan and said, "Do you like Classical music, Dan?"

"I suppose. I used to work in a music store, and listened to it at times."

"Then let me introduce you to Debussy. He is an all time favourite of mine. He helps me to calm my mind."

"Your car, your music," Dan said.

"I'm glad, we've got that established. Stop off for a snack on the way back?" Edward asked.

"Suits me."

"Ok. Debussy and food, then family. That's the plan."

"Sounds good to me," said Dan and he looked out the window as Edward pulled out of the parking lot, driving back towards his family. _Their_

_family_.

************

So… thanks for reading.

Review, please. The last chapter has had the most reviews of any chapter yet… all you Edward groupies out there, finally got what you are after huh? Probably not, 'cause Bella's not back in the picture just yet. She will be though, soonish.

Come play over on the thread – links in my profile.


	17. Chapter 17

The original Twi characters belong to SM. Dan, Cassie and a couple of others are mine.

Please respect the rights of the author. This is an original fic, and as such, cannot be copied without my express prior consent. Please report any duplication of this, or any other authors' stories - plagarism is disrespectful and a crime.

**Chapter 17 – The many facets of Intimacy**

Alice woke slowly and stretched carefully, trying not to wake Jasper who was still asleep beside her. She looked across to her husband of more than twenty years and smiled at him. When he slept, he looked just like the young man she had met so long ago and to her, it seemed like just yesterday. His sandy hair, now tempered with wisps of grey at the sides, stuck out in disarray as he nestled his face in his arms on his pillow. Almost as if he was aware of her scrutiny, he lifted his face and turned away from her, and by doing so, brought Alice back from her memories.

Ever so carefully, not wanting to disturb him, Alice slipped out of bed and padded off to the bathroom. Her morning routine complete, she collected her robe from the end of their bed and pulled it on before tying the sash at her waist. She was still a tiny little thing – she'd always been petite although her waist had thickened somewhat over time due to her maturing years and the after effects of having carried a child.

It was that child her mind focused on now. Alice made her way quietly out of her bedroom and down the hall towards Cassie's room. She tapped very quietly on the door before opening it and stepped inside.

Cassie lay asleep on her bed; Sammy's single mattress lay empty on the floor by the window. Sammy had bailed on the whole Thanksgiving family time late the previous afternoon. She'd beat a hasty retreat not wanting to get stuck with the oldies after Cassie and Dan had announced their plans to go out for dinner. She had, however, made sure to tell Cassie that she would call her on Monday to get all the 'gos' as she put it, and had given Dan a hug and kiss goodbye making some quip about kissing cousins as she did.

Alice moved over to Cassie's bed and sat down on the edge of it. She gently brushed her daughter's hair away from her eyes and waited for the movements to wake her.

"Mmmm," Cassie murmured in response before wrinkling her nose and lifting her head off the pillow. "Oh, Mom," she whined sleepily, "what are you waking me up for?"

"Hi, love. I thought I'd try and grab a couple of moments alone with you this morning before the rest of the household wakes up."

"Awh…what time is it?"

"Just before seven."

"That's rude," Cassie said, without hesitation.

"Did you have a nice dinner last night then?" Alice asked, ignoring her daughter's last comment.

"I told you we did when we got home," Cassie answered, still refusing to open her eyes.

"Mmm," Alice replied. "You also said that you and Dan were going to head down to Long Beach today."

"Yeah. We want to get away together before Dan has to go back home," Cassie replied, her voice getting stronger as she woke up completely and stretched, rolling away from her mother and onto her back.

"Well, if that's the case," Alice said, pausing as she put a hand on her daughter's hip, "do you want to have that little chat we talked about yesterday?"

Cassie opened her eyes and looked at her mother. "You mean now?" she asked, fully awake and a little startled.

"Yes. I've just left your father all warm and snuggly in bed to get up and come in here. If we can do this now, maybe I can get back in there before he realises I'm gone."

"Mom!"

"Honey, we're going to talk about sex. At least I get to go back to your Dad and my nice warm bed straight away."

Cassie threw her hands over her eyes. "Oh, Mom. Too much information."

"Your father and I have sex, Cassie. How do you think we ended up with you?" Alice whispered. "Surely you can't think that it was a once off?"

"Mom, Dad can hardly keep his hands off you. I think I know that you two have sex. I just don't need to know _when_, that's all."

Alice laughed. "Often, and more often than not. Does that help?" she teased.

"Oh, god. Shoot me now!"

"But if I did that, love, you wouldn't get the benefit of all my extensive research and that young man downstairs would be mightily upset, I'd think."

"Enough. Enough. Ok, I give in," Cassie said, sitting up and resting her back against the headboard of her bed. "So, how do you want to start this, Mom? Is there a manual or something? A picture book, maybe?"

"Oh my, love. If only it was that easy." Alice laughed as she scooted up on the bed and sat next to her daughter, mirroring her position.

***************

Twenty minutes later, Alice slipped back into bed just as quietly as she'd left – or so she'd thought.

"Where have you been?" Jasper asked, reaching for her.

"Good morning, darl," Alice said as she curled up in his arms, facing him.

"Where did you go?" Jasper asked again. "I stretched out for my morning wake up cuddle and you weren't here."

"I just popped in to see Cassie for a moment."

"She was awake?" Jasper asked as his hand, which had been making lazy strokes of his wife's thigh, halted on her rump.

"Not exactly, but she is now," Alice said, raising her eyebrows and smiling at him.

"What have you been up to?" he asked, pulling her hips closer to him.

"Cassie and I just had a little talk."

"About?"

"Well, you know last night that Edward said Dan and Cassie were going to drive down to Long Beach today and stay down there for the night."

"Yeah."

"Well, we just had a chat about things, that's all."

Jasper pulled his head back from his wife and looked her squarely in the eyes. "Things?" he questioned.

"She's not a little girl any more, Jaz. I'm doing my job as her mother making sure she's prepared for things."

"Are we talking about her and Dan and 'things'?" he asked.

"Oh, my god. You're as bad as she is. Sex, honey. Cassie and Dan having sex."

"Father, here!"

"Mother, here," Alice responded. "You can't go around putting your head in the sand and pretending these things don't happen, darl. Besides, didn't you say you accused him of getting her pregnant the other day?"

Jasper rolled away from his wife and onto his back, putting an arm across his eyes. "Yes, not one of my finer moments," he said, thinking back. "And you should have seen the look the poor kid gave me. Complete horror it was."

"Well, it would be, considering they haven't even done it yet," Alice said, as she rested her head on one hand while she reached for his chest with the other and played gently with the wiry hair she found there.

Jasper looked across at his wife. "Really?"

"Really," Alice confirmed.

"Not while they were away then?"

"Nope. And there was no chance in New York either. And here? Well, not exactly ideal so far."

"Wow," Jasper said, thoughtfully, but then he closed his eyes, squeezing them tight. "We're talking about our daughter here. Some things I just don't want to know or imagine. I can still see her on a teeter-totter."

"Oh darl, I know. But she's all grown up. You've to let her get on with her life, and she seems pretty settled on Dan."

"I know."

"He's a good kid. She could do a lot worse," she said, as her hand started to travel the central line up and down his chest and stomach; the dent made by his muscles was still stayed relatively firm after all these years.

"I know," he said again. "It's weird the way it has all turned out though, isn't it?"

"Mmm," Alice replied, watching her hand as it worked its magic on his body. "Edward's little chat last night was…enlightening."

"Mmm," was all Jasper said in response as his focus shifted from their conversation to the feelings that were stirring under his wife's constant attentions. "You're making it difficult to keep focused this conversation," he said, reaching for her and brushing the side of her face with his fingertips.

"Good. I've talked enough this morning already," she said lifting her thigh and placing it provocatively over his hip.

"So stop talking then," Jasper said, reaching for her and pulling her on top of him.

"And how do you suggest I –," but Alice's words were cut off by Jasper's lips crashing forcefully into hers as he pulled her to him and held her there. They kissed deeply, Jasper's hands moving from the back of her head to roam over the flimsy nightgown that covered the length of her torso before cupping her rounded cheeks firmly and rolling her against him teasingly.

"Conversation?" she said as she broke away from their kiss and moved across to his ear. "What conversation?"

The family had spent most of the previous afternoon hanging around the house, waiting somewhat impatiently at times, for Dan and Edward's return. Carlisle had left for a couple of hours or so to go and make rounds at the hospital, and had returned not long before they had arrived back. Everyone was having an afternoon drink out on the back deck when Dan called Cassie to let her know they were on their way home. She had been antsy for most of the afternoon, jumping at each sound she'd heard. Cassie had rushed through the house when she'd finally heard Edward's car pull up in the driveway and met Dan on the front steps, anxious for him but also eager to hear how his chat with Edward had gone at the same time. Dan had picked her up and crushed her to him in a tight embrace before kissing her firmly but briefly on the lips, causing Edward to smile quietly to himself as he had walked past the young couple and moved into the house.

Edward and Dan had briefly met with Carlisle in the den not long after they had arrived but then joined the family for drinks. Everyone noted the more relaxed way that Dan and Edward interacted with each other. They weren't overly friendly, but they definitely seemed more comfortable in each other's presence. Things were a lot less tense overall, and everyone didn't have to work so hard at to keep conversation light.

Once Cassie and Dan had left for their dinner date and Sammy had left to join her friends, regardless of how juicy she expected the conversation between the oldies to be, Edward had sat down with his family in the living room. He had tried to patiently answer all their questions. He'd told them as much as he was prepared to at this stage, and for the second time that day, he'd had to overcome his discomfort and try to be as open as possible. He deeply regretted the pain he'd caused his parents the day before, especially his mother, and he'd wanted to make that right. It meant revisiting some memories that were long since buried – his somewhat hazy recollections from that summer in 1987 included and the reasons behind his change in focus towards his studies back then. He'd struggled at times. Opening up to them when he was primarily such an intensely private person was difficult, and he found it emotionally exhausting. However, there were some things he kept from them for the time being – the existence of the note for one. That was something he wanted to keep just between himself and Dan for now.

When Alice had asked him if he remembered Bella at all, Edward admitted that he had very limited recollections of her – really nothing more than being small with brown hair. Esme's eyes spoke volumes during this part of the conversation. They communicated her sadness at the series of events and feelings for the girl in question, but also, Edward had been relieved to see, no longer showed signs of disappointment in him, only concern. He had smiled at her in thanks.

Alice had gone to the bookshelf in the family room and returned with a packet of photos containing shots from their weekend in New York. She had quietly selected a couple of them and passed them to Edward. He'd held them in his hands delicately and looked at the unfamiliar woman amongst his family. He noted her brown hair and how she only seemed to be as tall as Dan's shoulder, but her face drew a blank with him. He was disappointed in himself for that. He'd secretly hoped that if he'd seen her again, it would spark more memories after all these years, but it appeared as if that was not to be. They were apparently lost for all time in the drunken haze of that evening so many years before.

After a few moments, he'd passed the photos back wordlessly to Alice and left to refill his drink. Just like he had done in his own study the day before, the second drink remained untouched, but it gave him the chance to collect his thoughts and regroup before returning to face his family. Alice, meanwhile, had passed the photos to her parents. They had seen them before, of course, but now they'd taken on a whole new meaning.

Edward had also told everyone that he'd invited Dan and Cassie to Long Beach and that Dan planned to leave for home directly from there on the Sunday; Cassie driving home by herself afterwards. Jasper had been a little concerned about Cassie making the drive on her own, but Alice had reminded him that maybe some alone time would be exactly what she would need at that point. None of them had any idea when Dan and Cassie planned to see each other again after this weekend.

Most of the family, including Edward, had retired to bed before Dan and Cassie had returned from their date. Alice had stayed up reading, catching up on one of her favourite pastimes. It was after eleven when they had finally gotten in. She enquired about their night and plans for the next day, confirming in her own mind that she would need to get some alone time with Cassie herself before she and Dan headed off tomorrow. She accurately sensed, however, that Dan and Cassie hadn't quite finished their evening together. She had politely excused herself before going up to bed to join Jasper, making sure that she left the living room lights on as she went.

*************

Dan woke the next morning feeling refreshed, despite his limited sleep in the last forty-eight hours or so. His date night with Cassie had been wonderful. They'd spent the night talking, laughing, kissing, and connecting with each other in ways that only reconfirmed for Dan what he had told Edward yesterday – Cassie was his one and only.

He'd gotten up and showered promptly, eager to set off for the day. He had to admit that he was looking forward to getting to learn a little more about Edward and the mysterious item that he'd said might be able to help Dan when he had to face his mother and tell her about the weekend. Dan didn't know exactly when that would be, however. His flight wouldn't get in until nearly eleven Sunday night, California time, and then he would lose a few more hours in time differences. He had been planning to get as much sleep as he could on the plane before basically going straight to work for the day. He didn't think he would see his mother until Monday night at the earliest.

Dan packed up his gear into his bag, and folded up the sheets and blankets from the bed he had been using in the den. He made his way out to the kitchen, surprised to see Carlisle already there.

"Morning, Carlisle," Dan greeted as he made his way over to the coffee machine.

"Dan. Morning. Did you and Cassie have a nice time out last night?"

"Better than nice, actually," Dan conceded. "We haven't been out, just the two of us, in like ...forever. It was great just to get away and be together, you know?" Dan said sipping at his coffee, before continuing. "You're up early this morning."

"Yes. I want to take those test kits into the hospital," Carlisle answered, referring to the DNA swabs he took yesterday from Edward and Dan that had been kept in the fridge overnight, "and I have some patients to see. Are you and Cassie heading off somewhere again today?"

Dan answered, nodding his head. "Yes, after breakfast. I want to say goodbye to everyone, first, and then we're going to drive down to LA. I've never actually been there, aside from the airport the other day, so it will be interesting to have a look around. And then, we'll stop by Edward's place on Sunday before I have to leave."

"Long Beach is a lovely area. You'll like it, I suspect."

"I'm looking forward to it," Dan confirmed.

"Dan," Carlisle began, "I have to tell you. I've been impressed by the way you have handled yourself this weekend, since everything came to light on Thursday. It's a real credit to you and your mother. She has obviously done an incredible job in raising you. You are a fine, young man."

Dan took another sip of his coffee, giving himself time to gather his thoughts and emotions before replying. "Thank you, Carlisle. I haven't actually thanked you for what you did for me the other day. I really don't know how I would have gotten through all that happened if you hadn't been there to help me. I just…" Dan let his sentence trail off. He didn't know how to put what he wanted to say into words.

Carlisle nodded in response. He, too, took another sip of his own coffee and smiled at Dan. "It's OK, son, and you're welcome. I'm glad I was able to help out and that it all seems to be moving forward now, especially since you and Cassie seem to be working your way through all of this. I can't imagine _that_ has been easy."

"No, Carlisle. It hasn't been," Dan agreed.

"We all see how much you care for her, Dan. It's a pretty special thing to find such a connection at such a young age. I really wish you two all the best, you know. I think, despite the obstacles, you'll make it through. My granddaughter is quite taken with you, too."

"Thanks again, Carlisle, for everything."

"You're welcome. Now," he said, turning to put his coffee cup in the sink, "I have to head off. Emmett and Rose are going to drop Esmé home later on today, so I won't be back here before you go."

"Right."

"Enjoy the rest of your time in California, son," Carlisle said, extending his hand for Dan to shake. "Edward will talk to you about the test results when they come in, not that we suspect any surprises from what we've all learnt this weekend. Still, the results will go to him first, and since the colleague of mine that I spoke to is planning on having them rushed through, the results should be back by Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning at the latest, if I can get them in first thing this morning, that is. Take care, Dan," Carlisle said, as he and Dan shook hands, Carlisle grasping the younger man's with both of his. "We'll talk to you again sometime soon, I suppose."

"Goodbye, Carlisle. Drive carefully."

"Always do," he said, beginning to move off, but then he turned and doubled back towards the fridge. He grabbed the plastic test kit bag from inside it before leaving the kitchen. "Can't forget these now, can I?" he quipped as he moved out to collect his medical bag from the table before heading across towards the front door.

"It would be handy if you didn't," Dan smiled in response.

"Bye, son."

"Bye, Carlisle," Dan said, as Carlisle headed out the front door, closing it behind him. Dan smiled again, something he realised he was doing quite a bit this morning. Carlisle was a decent man. Cassie was lucky to have such a wonderful and generous grandfather. _Weird_, he thought to himself._ I am, too._

Cassie met Dan in the kitchen shortly after Carlisle's departure and they greeted each other warmly, enjoying the fact that, for a few brief moments, they were able to steal some time alone again.

"I'm going to miss this when I go back home," Dan said to her as she wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest after they had shared a rather passionate morning kiss.

"Can we make a deal for today?" Cassie asked him in response.

"What kind of deal are you after?"

"The kind where you don't mention that you are actually leaving tomorrow afternoon. I'd really rather not focus on that for the next twenty-four hours at least. Let's just enjoy each moment we have today, okay?"

"Deal," Dan said, holding her tight and kissing the top of her head as he swayed with her back and forth gently in the kitchen.

Their alone time had been short, but both had silently enjoyed the domestic scene of preparing breakfast side by side. As the rest of the family began to surface and eventually make their way out to the kitchen, they were greeted by Dan and Cassie who were busily putting together an assortment of breakfast options.

Everyone seemed relaxed, and they all joked and bantered amongst themselves. Even Edward, who looked somewhat tired and drawn, joined in the conversation easily and greeted Dan with a gentle hand on the shoulder as he had made his way over to the coffee machine on the counter.

Once breakfast was over and the kitchen returned to some sort of tidy state, Dan and Cassie prepared to leave for their trip south towards LA. They weren't the only ones. Emmett and Rose were returning home to their house just up the coast, dropping Esmé home on the way. Edward was also leaving to return to his place in Long Beach to await Cassie and Dan's arrival the next day.

Cassie had packed an overnight bag before coming down to the kitchen that morning so that she and Dan were the first ready to make their departure. They said their goodbyes; Dan making sure he spoke to each person in turn to thank them for their thoughtfulness and support over the eventful weekend. He had a private word with both Jasper and Alice, kissing Alice and shaking Jasper's hand before moving away to talk briefly with Rosalie and Emmett.

When he reached Esmé, Dan leaned down to give her a polite kiss on the cheek only to be surprised when she returned his gesture with a strong hug of her own. Pulling back from him, she held him by the shoulders and looked up into his eyes.

"Dan," she started, "part of me will forever regret not being able to make the trip to New York this past Labor Day Weekend, as I would have loved the chance to meet you and your mother then."

"It was probably a good thing that you weren't there that weekend, Esmé, because had I known your and Carlisle's family name, I may have put things together sooner, and we may never have had this Thanksgiving weekend at all," Dan responded wisely. "My mom is a great lady," he said, "and I'm sure that you will get the chance to meet her, one day," he finished, returning her embrace. It still amazed him that this older lady was by all intents and purposes, now his grandmother. "Thank you for everything you have done this weekend."

"Thank you, Dan. You may not yet fully appreciate for yourself just what you have given to our family this weekend," she said, pulling away from him.

Cassie and Dan made their way with their bags out to Cassie's car, Edward following slowly behind them. Upon reaching the car, Dan turned to face him and extended his hand.

"I'll see you both tomorrow," Edward said, shaking Dan's hand.

"Yeah. We'll call when we get close, but it will probably be around ten or so," Dan said. "My flight's at three, so we won't be able to stay too long. It will be good to see where you live though."

"Cassie knows the way. The traffic can be a shocker. Cass, make sure you avoid the 405 if you can," he added, looking over to her.

"I will, Uncle Edward," she replied from over by the driver's door. "We'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, you two. Drive safely."

"We will," Cassie said as she climbed into the driver's seat. Dan smiled at Edward briefly before opening the door and climbing into the passenger's side of the car. Edward remained standing on the drive as Cassie backed out and honked the horn before driving off down the street and into the rest of their day together. Neither one could wipe the smiles from their faces.

Heading south along the Pacific Coast Highway, Dan knew he should have been taking in the view around him; it was the reason Cassie had decided to drive this way in the first place. But he was more interested in sitting back and relaxing next to his girl as she drove along. They chatted comfortably together, relishing the opportunity to reconnect without all the drama associated with the weekend so far. In fact, Edward hardly came up in conversation at all.

Truth be told, they were both feeling just a little nervous about finally getting some alone time and all that would entail. Cassie, after her morning talk with Alice, was actually feeling more confident and at ease, not that she told Dan that. As she drove, Dan would reach over and softly caress the back of her neck along her hair line, or reach out to place his hand on her thigh. Cassie's small car meant they weren't too far removed from each other, and these casual but intimate touches were, for both of them, a sign of things to come.

They stopped and had lunch enroute. With no time limit or definite plan for the day ahead of them, they took their time, enjoying the feeling of not having to rush. They both realised, but didn't mention aloud, that their time together was limited, so they were determined to make the most of each minute they had together.

As they approached LA, Cassie asked Dan what he wanted to do most when they arrived.

He laughed aloud before replying, with a twinkle in his eye, "Lock myself in a room with you and not come out until tomorrow morning."

"Oh, so you think you're in with a chance do you?" Cassie teased him back.

"Well, yeah," Dan said, a little taken aback.

"Is that your idea of foreplay?" she asked, continuing to tease him.

Catching on, Dan smiled back at her before placing his hand back on her thigh and drawing small circles on the inside of her leg on top of her jeans.

"Driving here, buster," she warned him.

"If you can't stand the heat, don't create the fire," he said, removing his hand and leaning back into his seat, closing his eyes and smiling to himself.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

He slowly raised his head from the headrest and turned the full power of his brown eyes on her. "My gorgeous girl; if you think for one minute that I haven't thought about foreplay with you in the most minute detail to the point where I could literally play the whole scenario on a continuous loop in my brain, you are sadly mistaken. I know exactly _what, where and how_ I want to do things to you."

"Oh," Cassie said, turning her eyes from his and focusing on the road ahead of her, at a complete loss for words.

Dan didn't respond; he didn't have to. His body had done it for him. Instead, he returned his head to the headrest and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of his body reacting to his need for her.

A few moments later, Cassie redirected his thoughts; hers, too.

"You never answered my question," she said. "What do you want to do in LA? Anything _touristy_?"

Dan, keeping his eyes closed, mentioned that he would like to have a look at the Hollywood stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

"I never pegged you as a movie star groupie," she said, looking at him briefly.

Dan opened his eyes and looked at her. "I'm not, but Mom is. She'd get a kick out of it if I brought home some shots of her favourites."

"Really? Which ones?"

"Does Matt Damon have his own star yet?"

"I don't know, but we could find out. So, Bella's got the hots for Matt, huh?"

"She'd deny it, if you asked her," he responded, "but she's got the three Bourne movies on DVD at home."

"My Mom's into George Clooney, in a big way," Cassie commented. "That man is so in trouble if she ever sees him in person."

"What about you?" Dan asked. "Who would be your get-out-of-jail-free-card guy?"

"What makes you think it would be a guy?"

"You mean you'd turn?" Dan asked, laughing.

"For some."

"Who?" he challenged.

"Salma, maybe? Kate Winslet? Yeah, most likely Kate, I think."

"Ah, polar opposites…"

"I know. Salma is 'out there' sexy, but Kate is just so…womanly."

"You can't have two. You have to pick one."

"Kate, then. Yep, definitely Kate."

"And the guy?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"James Marsters."

"Who the hell is James Marsters?"

"Spike."

"Spike?"

"From Buffy."

"A vampire?"

"One of them."

"He wouldn't have a star, though."

"He doesn't need one to win me over."

Dan smirked at that. "Which vampire's he?"

"The blonde one."

Dan concentrated hard, trying to remember the storyline. "He was the evil one wasn't he?"

"Only in the beginning."

"So you like him evil?"

"I'll like him any way I can get him."

Dan laughed, looking at Cassie and shaking his head.

"So, what about you?" she asked him.

"Guy or girl?"

"One of each?"

"Star?"

"Not necessary."

"Guy? Milo what'shisface."

"Ventimiglia? From the Gilmour Girls?"

"That's him. And Heroes. I didn't watch Gilmour Girls. It's his eyes. And the hair…" he said giving a little shoulder shake in an attempt to show desire.

"Oh, my god," she said. This time, she was shaking her head. "Okay… and the girl?" she asked.

"That's easy. No one. I've got you."

"Oh, you are such a cheesy sap," Cassie laughed. "Are you sure you've never watched Gilmour Girls?" she asked, continuing to laugh.

"I'd never admit it aloud if I did," he answered in kind. "Although, the guy at the diner was kinda cool."

She punched out with her arm, knocking him lightly on his shoulder as she drove with one hand on the wheel. He caught her hand in his and raised it to kiss it, swirling his tongue over the knuckles before letting it go. Cassie gave her own involuntary shiver, and as they drove the rest of the way into LA, the electricity between them was growing steadily with no avenue for immediate release.

Finally, Cassie pulled into the parking station at Hollywood and Highland. She and Dan set off to identify as many stars on the famous Hollywood Walk of Fame as they could – recognising some names but completely failing with others, despite assistance from the tourist guide map they had picked up enroute.

After spending several hours walking and taking plenty of photos for Bella and of each other, and grabbing a bite to eat at a small Italian restaurant in downtown LA, Cassie and Dan headed off to their hotel. Dan had used his iphone earlier in the day to book a room in the Holiday Inn at Universal Studios but had kept the hotel secret from Cassie until this point. He gave her the address and used his iphone to direct her through the traffic. It was a little after seven by the time they arrived.

Both of them became quieter as they checked in and received their room key. Small smiles and quiet whispers flowed back and forth between them as they walked hand in hand to the lift, making their way to their room. The air around them seemed to be charged with electricity, and yet, a strange shyness was also evident. They had been waiting months for this moment, and now that it was here, both Dan and Cassie were feeling more than a little self-conscious.

Dan opened the door to their room and ushered Cassie into the small narrow hallway that lead into the open expanse of the room. It was tastefully decorated in neutral colours, much like a standard hotel room anywhere. A large queen-size bed was in the middle of the room, while a small table with two chairs was off to one side near the curtained window. There was also a rectangular writing table and television cabinet set along the wall at the foot of the bed. The tastefully appointed bathroom lay off to one side of the small hallway; a wardrobe and kitchenette on the opposite wall.

Having closed the door, Dan walked up and placed their overnight bags on the bag rack near the wardrobe, and then moved to wrap his arms around Cassie, who stood in the middle of the room facing the bed. She reacted to the warmth of his arms as they enveloped her, relaxing back against his chest and closing her eyes. Any nervousness and apprehension she was feeling slowly dissipated as her body responded to his embrace. Dan's chin came down to rest upon her shoulder, and she angled her head slightly to the side to allow him purchase. He gently rubbed his stubble against her neck, causing her to shiver slightly at the sensation.

"Are you all right with this, gorgeous?" he asked her softly. "If you've decided that this isn't what you want right now, that's okay."

Cassie inhaled slowly, hugging his arms tighter to her and using her hands to rub over his upper arms. She opened her eyes and turned within his embrace to face him. She cradled his face with her two hands and leant up to kiss him, slowly at first, but then deeper and more urgently, letting her body tell him that she was ready for this moment and how badly she wanted him. She had yet to say a word since entering the room.

Dan sensed the passion that lay behind Cassie's kiss and instinctively tightened his arms around her torso, pulling her to him while returning her kiss. He pushed into her, causing her back to arch over his arms that were holding her securely in place, her own arms now wrapping around the back of his head, pulling him with just as much intensity.

Momentarily, she pulled away from him, breaking their kiss. Dan, sensing something had changed, loosened his hold on her slightly before looking into her eyes.

"Can you give me a minute?" Cassie asked him quietly, resting her hands on his shoulders and forearms on his upper arms.

Perplexed, Dan looked at her before simply nodding his head. She leant up to kiss him chastely, just once more, before disentangling herself from his arms and stepping away from him. "Can you turn around please?" she asked just as softly, "and close your eyes?"

Dan looked at her questioningly and was relieved to see a little smile behind her beautiful eyes. It gave him enough confidence to realise that whatever was going on, she wasn't running from him. He offered her the slightest smile of his own, and without a word, he turned his back to her and closed his eyes.

Cassie collected her overnight bag as quietly as possible and walked to the bathroom. From the doorway, she said, "I'll be back out in just a minute. You can open your eyes when you hear the door close." With that she stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

At that sound, Dan let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. As it whooshed out of his body, he ran both his hands through his hair, scratching his scalp. The sensation bringing a sense of calm to his highly strung body and mind. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. The bathroom door was still closed, and Cassie's bag was missing from the bag rack where he had placed it earlier. He wanted to call out to her to confirm that it really was the bathroom door that he'd heard close, but he didn't. He needed to trust her; trust in them and this moment. She had responded hungrily when he'd asked her if she was alright with this; her body telling him what words didn't. His own body betrayed just how much he wanted this - nervous energy taking over his actions as he began to pace around the room. He readjusted the front of his pants, trying to make himself more comfortable. He walked to the window and looked out behind the sheer curtains that hung there, trying to find ways to distract himself and avoid his growing anxiety. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest – he could feel it and hear it. He wondered briefly if Cassie would be able to as well. Realising that his hand holding the curtain was shaking just a little, Dan shoved both his hands roughly into the pockets of his jeans, no easy feat considering what else was taking up room down there. He heard the door to the bathroom open and turned quickly, searching for his girl.

Cassie stood in the doorway to the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe. She was wearing a golden silk satin floor length nightgown that flowed softly over her body, hugging her breasts and ghosting provocatively over her hips. Tiny little shoestring straps, tied at the back of her neck, held the garment in place. Dan didn't know it yet, but the nightgown was backless and cut low enough to just cover the swell of her buttocks. Dan sucked in a breath as he saw her from across the room, her nipples obviously erect under the flimsy fabric.

"Surprise," Cassie whispered sultrily, amazed that even her own voice could sound so calm and sexy when she was, truth be told, as nervous as hell.

Dan didn't respond. He was momentarily glued to the spot as his mind tried to register what his eyes and his body already had.

Cassie smiled softly at him, taking in his stance. She slowly pushed off from the bathroom door and made her way across the room to him. Dan stayed where he was. The sight of her walking towards him, and the golden satin shimmering and moving like liquid as she walked, mesmerised him. He forgot to breathe.

Cassie came to a stop in front of him, her eyes never leaving his. She reached up with one hand to gently cup the side of his face. Dan closed his eyes briefly, exhaling as he leant into her touch; the warmth of his breath tickling her wrist. She stroked his cheek bone with her thumb, and he opened his eyes to lock them on hers.

"I love you," she said throatily, her voice full of emotion.

Dan reached up, resting his fingertips ever so gently on her shoulders. "You're beautiful," he said simply, his fingers tracing small circles there.

"I want this…so much," she said, drawing her hand down his throat and bringing it to rest over his chest, which was rising and falling with his renewed efforts to keep his own heart rate under control.

"I love you," Dan said.

"Show me," she said, huskily this time.

Dan traced the outline of her shoulders with his finger tips, and then slowly dragged them down her arms towards her elbows before cupping them gently and pulling her towards him. He leant his head down and began to kiss her – tentatively at first. Within seconds, his months of thwarted passions overtook him and he kissed her hungrily, pulling her to him as he tried to meld their bodies together; his hands running over the entire length of her back, hips and bottom. Her bare skin and the fabric of her nightgown slipping under his hands as they moved adding to the sensations he experienced.

They continued to kiss, not moving from that spot for several minutes. Finally, Dan pulled away and pushed her from him gently by her shoulders. Reaching for her hand, he silently led her over to the large bed in the center of the room where he sat down, pulling her around to stand in front of him between his legs. He then pulled her to him and kissed her stomach through the silken fabric, rested his head against her there and held her close. She placed her hands on the top of his head and ran her fingers through his hair, feeling him relax under her touch.

Dan needed this moment. He needed to calm himself down so that he was able to focus more completely on Cassie and her needs, rather than be ruled purely by his own. He was overwhelmed, understanding that this was finally going to happen – that he and Cassie were going to love each other so intimately – something they had both wanted for so long, but that had, before now, been denied them. He breathed in her scent; the scent of her own arousal so much more potent from his present position. It made his head spin, and he moved his face again to trace the plains of her stomach with his nose as he breathed her in.

Not wanting to put things off any longer, he raised his eyes to hers seeing her desire and lust for him there. He began to scoot back on the bed wanting to draw her to him, but they both giggled. The intensity of the moment was lost. They laughed as they realised that he still had his shoes on, and in moving, he had gotten them caught in the hem of her nightgown.

"Now that's slick," he said as Cassie continued to laugh before toppling on him when she lost her balance.

"Probably not the most seductive way to get me on top of you," she agreed, kissing him several times on the lips between words, "but it worked."

Rolling her to the side, Dan pushed up into a sitting position, his feet dangling over the side of the bed, and bent over to untie his shoes. He sat there, with his back to her, feeling embarrassed and shaking his head from side to side. Cassie scooted up onto her knees and knelt behind him on the bed, rubbing her hands over his broad shoulders trying to ease the moment. She leant down and began to nibble on his ear, breathing softly as she kissed and nipped at him.

"Awh, gawd," Dan moaned as a shiver ran down his spine. He sat up twisting slightly and pulled her around him and onto his lap, his embarrassment forgotten. He kissed her deeply; Cassie returning his passion.

"Let's try this again," he said when he came up for air.

"As often as you want," Cassie replied.

This time, Dan laid back and rolled slightly to the side pulling Cassie with him so they ended up side by side on the bed. He traced the neckline of her nightgown with one finger tip, relishing the touch of her soft skin under his hand.

"You're exquisite," he whispered.

She smiled back at him, "And you've got too many clothes on," she said, tugging at the neck of his shirt. "Take this off," she demanded.

"Yes, Ma'am," he said smiling, before leaning back slightly, giving himself room to drag his shirt over his head without hitting her.

"Better?" he asked as he tossed the shirt to the bedside table.

"Marginally," she replied, but she was already focused on trailing her fingertips over his chest and shoulders.

"I'm here to please," Dan quipped, leaning in to kiss her briefly on the lips.

"Mmm," she sighed as she continued to stroke his chest. "That's good to know."

Dan continued to kiss her – little feather light kisses over her face, shoulders and neck as his hands traced the outline of her body while she lay next to him.

"You still have too many clothes on," she whispered to him, catching his lips in a kiss as he returned his focus on her face. "That's definitely not good."

"No, not good at all," he agreed.

"So stop talking and do something about it. I'm going to explode soon if you don't get on top of me."

"You want me on top of you? That can be arranged."

"I want to feel you, Dan; all of you. Your body; your warmth; your weight. I want to lose myself with you," she said, resting her forehead on his chest.

"Shit, Cass," Dan said, kissing the top of her head before unbuttoning his pants hurriedly and pushing them down his legs with Cassie's help. He slid over to her, kissing her deeply and pulling her under him as he rolled on top of her.

"Oh, god," Cassie said, feeling her body sink into the bed under his weight.

"Cass?" he asked hurriedly. "Are you alright?" he questioned as he pushed himself up on his forearms away from her.

"No, don't," she said, reaching for him and encouraging him to lie down on her again. "I want this. It's one of the things I have wanted to feel. Your body against mine. Don't pull back from me," she begged.

"I'm too heavy for you. I'll hurt you."

"No, you won't. I'll tell you if something's uncomfortable. Don't deny me this," she said, pulling at him again and lifting her lips to his. He acquiesced, gently lowering his weight back on to her and kissing her in return. "Oh god, that feels good," she said, letting him know she was okay. "Now, stop talking and make love to me. I want you. I need you."

"I love you," he whispered to her reverently.

They were the last words spoken for quite a while.

* * *

**A/N**:

Thanks to my terrific trio – you are my confidents, my mentors and my friends. You have each helped me with the epic journey that has finally evolved into this finished chapter.

To Grendel – who has come on board and been so willing to share her knowledge, time, expertise and words of encouragement. Bless you and your commas.

To all of you reading and especially those of you who are leaving reviews – thank you very much.

It was important for you, as readers, to get to know and understand Dan and Cassie's role in this story. They are the ties that will bind Edward and Bella together. Dan and Cassie's story needed to be told, in detail, and it has taken a while. The first story arc - Dan and Cassie's - is drawing to a close. The next chapter will form a bridge enabling Edward and Bella's reconnection, and the story will have a distinct change of focus from there on in.

Intimacy, the emotional closeness between individuals, is a vital ingredient for all successful relationships. This chapter, hopefully, conveyed many different types of emotionally intimate relationships – husband/wife; parent/child; grandparent/grandchild; friends; and finally, that of lovers. This chapter grew to be about so much more than just achieving "Alone Time", its original title. It's about creating emotional connections between people; about forging relationships based on truth, trust and commitment. I hope that's managed to come across.


	18. Chapter 18

So, here's what I cut from the last chapter - a little more alone time for Dan and Cassie before we shift our focus for the rest of this story.

I was going to include it as an out-take but decided that the sentiments Dan expresses in the first half of the chapter were too important to leave out of the main storyline.

Ahh… young love…

**Chapter 18 – Dan and Cassie – Love and Laughter**

Cassie rubbed her face into her pillow and hugged it to her, making a little purring sound in the back of her throat as she lay on her stomach. She was slowly making her way back to consciousness from a very deep and comfortable sleep. She and Dan had made love twice during the night before finally falling to sleep when they were both too exhausted to do anything more. She felt groggy and tried to open her eyes but gave up, and stretched and wriggled her feet under the covers. When she connected with another set of legs in her bed, she smiled sleepily and began to run the toes of one foot up the furry leg stretched out next to her.

"Morning, sleepyhead," intoned a gentle voice.

"Morning, yourself," she replied, not opening her eyes.

"I wish I was that pillow," Dan said cheekily, reaching to push a wisp of hair behind her ears. "It looks like it's having fun." Dan had been awake for a while. He'd managed to slip out of bed, use the bathroom and a toothbrush, and climb back into bed next to his girl without her even knowing he'd gone. He couldn't put into words his feelings about being able to have his girl in bed beside him, waking up and knowing she'd be there. It was such a simple thing; something he had longed for. A level of intimacy that he supposed one day he would take for granted but not today, and definitely, he hoped, not any time soon.

"It _is_ cuddly and warm," Cassie replied lazily, her eyes still closed. She was a slow riser given the chance. Bed was always a wonderful place to be, and it was even more so now that Dan was sharing it.

"I can be cuddly and warm for you," Dan said cheesily.

"Oh, gawd," Cassie replied, stretching a little, "is that your morning attempt at sexy?"

"Attempt? You don't find my bed hair sexy?"

Cassie opened her eyes briefly before shutting them again. She'd looked momentarily into Dan's brown eyes; taking in their playful glint before replying, "Bed hair, sexy? Yes. Cheesy one liners? Not so much."

"How about we forget the talk then and focus our energy elsewhere," Dan suggested, reaching across for her and pulling him to her.

Cassie wriggled over in his direction at first, revelling in his warmth and the feel of his arm around her waist before her eyes flew open, and she stilled.

"Ah, bathroom first," she said, moving to sit up in bed. She draped the bed sheets across her chest and looked around the room for a piece of clothing within easy reach that she could put on.

Dan watched her, bemused. "What are you looking for?"

"Something to put on, silly," Cassie replied, not looking at him.

"Why do you want to put something on?" he asked, curiously.

"What do you mean, 'why do I want to put something on'?" she answered him. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Reaching up to stroke her bare back, he gently trailed his fingers up and down the notches evident along her spine as she tucked herself up in the sheet and pulled her knees to her chest.

"Cass, honey. It's me. You don't need to put on any clothes. I've seen you naked, gorgeous."

"That's not the point," she replied.

Dan smiled at her unease. "Cass, I'd love nothing more to watch you walk across the room naked. Don't feel self-conscious. You weren't last night," he said, remembering the way she'd slipped quietly to the bathroom in the dark after one of their more intimate moments. "You're beautiful, babe. I'd have you naked all the time if I could have my way."

"Dan, I just feel so…exposed."

"There's no need for you to feel uncomfortable, hon. Honestly, it'd be incredibly sexy."

"For you, maybe, but I think I'd rather the earth swallow me up whole. Pass me your shirt," she indicated, not looking at him but pointing to the t-shirt draped over the bedside table next to them.

Dan looked from Cassie to the t-shirt and back again. "Really?" was all he asked.

"Dan, please! I really gotta pee," Cassie voiced desperately.

Dan rolled away from her and reached for the t-shirt before rolling back and handing it to her.

"Thank you," she said simply. She slipped the t-shirt over her slender frame, making sure to pull it down as low as it would go before swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing up. She continued to pull the t-shirt down to cover her buttocks as she padded her way across the carpeted floor and into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Dan lied back on the bed, putting his right forearm over his eyes. He'd never thought that Cassie would feel so insecure about being naked in front of him this morning after what they had experienced together last night. Her self-consciousness made him smile quietly to himself, but that smile was also tinged with regret. He never wanted her to feel anything less than confident and secure around him. She was the sexiest, most incredible woman he had ever met, but obviously his actions alone weren't going to be enough to convince her.

While Cassie was in the bathroom, Dan thought back over their lovemaking the night before. He had been completely lost in the power and passion of it all. He hadn't realised that making love to the woman he loved more than life itself could be just so damned amazing. Each touch, each caress and each kiss was sensual and mesmerising. His mind took him back over the feeling of her skin, the warmth of her centre and the incredible sense of peace he felt when he was fully sheathed within her. It had felt like he was finally home where he was meant to be. They had taken their time, tentative at first; the pleasure and desire building as they explored each other completely for the first time. He was shocked by the wave of emotions that washed over him even now as he blinked away small tears that had begun to form under his eyelids. It wasn't right that Cassie still yet didn't understand how powerfully last night had affected him. He would have to fix that. She needed to understand that there was no one else for him; she was his one and only.

He was brought out of his reveries by the sound of the bathroom door opening and the vision of Cassie moving back across to their bed. He rolled onto his side to face her, crossing one thigh over his obviously growing erection. She snuggled back into the bed, pulling the covers back over her and turned on her side to face him. She tucked her lower arm under her head and smiled at him; a relaxed, gentle smile that reached her eyes.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much."

"So, can I kiss you now?"

"You've taken long enough," she joked, raising her eyebrows in challenge.

"Very funny," he shot back at her before leaning in to kiss her ever so gently on her lips. He pulled back to look into her face. Her eyes were closed again and that same smile still played at the edges of her lips.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, Cass," he said, trying to get her to open her eyes so that she could see the sincerity in his own.

Cassie, however, kept her eyes closed, the slightest crinkle that appearing between her eyebrows.

"Gorgeous, open your eyes. Look at me," he instructed her softly.

After a moment's pause, she complied.

"You are the most important person in my life. I love you. Don't believe anything different. Last night was the most incredible night of my life so far." He paused, wanting to convince her with his eyes so that she would understand just how special their lovemaking had been to him. "I don't ever want you to feel you have to hide any part of yourself from me. You are my forever. I'll always want you; all of you – heart , body and soul."

Cassie closed her eyes again at his words. When she finally opened them, tears threatened to spill over.

"Honey, what is it?" he asked, reaching to gently wipe away the first tear as it spilled over. "Don't cry," he pleaded, wondering what she was feeling to make her so sad.

Cassie sniffled a little, trying to stop her silly tears before she responded to him. "I love you," she said simply.

"God, honey, I love you too," he told her, reaching out to pull her to him and rolling onto his back as she nestled into his chest with his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head, letting the warmth of their skin and their gentle touches convey more than words at this point. Finally, he asked, "Why the tears? Why are you so sad?"

Cassie played with the man fur on his chest, twirling it in her fingertips as she smiled against his skin. "I'm not sad."

"Then, why the tears?" Dan tried again, wanting to understand where her head was.

She continued twirling her finger, while Dan stroked the top of her head absentmindedly in rhythm with her actions.

"I'm happy," she said simply.

"Oh, so these are happy tears, then?" he asked for clarification. "How am I supposed to be able to tell the difference?"

"You'll learn in time. I suspect there are many things we will learn about each other, given time."

Dan let that statement hang in the air, wanting to ask her something but not wanting her awkwardness or self-consciousness to return. He tried to choose his words carefully. "Cass, last night," he paused, wanting to ask but not sure he wanted to know the answer. He tried again. "Was last night everything you wanted? For you, I mean. Was it enough for you?"

Cassie turned in his arms, resting her hands on his chest with her chin on top of them. She regarded him closely, wondering what he was getting at.

"Dan, last night was wonderful for me."

Dan listened to the message in that simple statement. It told him something, but it wasn't enough. He looked into her eyes trying to work out how he could ask what he wanted to know.

Cassie continued to look at him closely, focusing on his eyes. She could see what seemed like a million thoughts rush through them, and she wanted him to talk to her.

"Talk to me, Dan. Tell me what's going on behind those eyes of yours."

He continued to play absentmindedly with her hair, not fully appreciating the level of intimacy such an action evoked. He decided he couldn't expect Cassie to become completely comfortable with herself in front of him, if he couldn't give her the same. He bit the proverbial bullet and asked her in as straightforward a manner as he dared.

"It just seemed that maybe last night…while I was loving you…that maybe you didn't quite enjoy it as much as I did." He looked her straight in the eyes. He so wanted to close his eyes from embarrassment, but he refused to give in to his own discomfort at this point. This was too important.

"Oh," Cassie said. She was silent for a moment, and the silence nearly killed him.

"Cass, I'm sorry. I just wanted our first time together to be special for you, and I just–," his sentence was cut off as she quickly lifted herself to him and kissed him firmly on the lips, silencing him. She kissed him deeply, adjusting her position so that she was lying directly on top of him with her elbows resting either side of his face and her hands in his hair.

Dan responded to her, putting his arms around her back and pulling her tightly to him. They kissed passionately; his arousal becoming all the more obvious. Cassie finally broke away from him and placed the fingertips of one of her hands on his lips to silence any more words escaping before she had a chance to speak.

"Dan, I love you. Last night was everything I wanted it to be and more." She looked him squarely in the eyes, wanting him to understand just how much their lovemaking had meant to her. She continued, "Last night was _our_ first time. We're only just beginning to discover how our bodies will fit together; how they work together. I think we did a pretty damn good job, actually," she added with a wicked smile.

"We did. Well, I was pretty happy with it. I was worried, you know, because you didn't seem to quite get there … with me."

Trying to lighten the mood, Cassie returned with a phrase that definitely broke the tension. "Dan," she said, levelling him with one of her devilish grins, "when starting a new…," she paused, trying to find the right words, "working relationship, I don't think there are too many women out there who get a _bonus_ with their first paycheck."

The tension and Dan's initial concerns disappeared with that comment. He threw his head back on the pillow and laughed out loud. He lifted his head again to see her grinning at him from her position on his chest.

"Well, when you put it that way," he returned, "I suppose we did do a pretty good job of things."

"I happen to think so, too," she replied cryptically. "I think we even worked a little bit of overtime on the first day," she added with a wink.

"God, I love your mouth," he told her, "and the brain that can come up with such unique ways of saying things."

"And here I was convinced that you loved me only for my body."

"Well, the packaging definitely helps," he said, swatting her on the backside.

"Now behave yourself, Mr Swan, or I may have to reprimand you," Cassie warned.

Throwing his hands back above his head, he laughed again, "Reprimand away my lady. I am all for the reprimanding."

Enjoying the banter as they were, Cassie snuggled her head into his chest and kissed him there. She was enjoying laying on top of him and feeling her weight settle on him. He didn't seem to mind, and in fact, she believed she could feel just how much he was enjoying it.

She lifted her head and looked at his face once more, the moment becoming serious yet again. "So," she said, "are we good?"

"Yes, hon, we're good. At least, I am if you are."

"Babe, we have a lifetime to learn how to make our bodies knit together just right. Aside from the obvious differences, a woman's body is different from a guy's in many ways. We are designed for…how do I say this…" she paused, looking towards the ceiling before continuing, "a marathon rather than a sprint," she finished, raising her eyebrows. "Now, Fido down there is more interested in the sprint. He will have to be trained to go the distance."

"Okay, so, not only have you implied that you can outlast me, you have also named my penis?"

"Absolutely," Cassie agreed. "Fido is going to take some training and lots and lots of practice to get the results I'm looking for," she answered wickedly. "Besides, unlike Fido, a woman can never be expected to come just because the guy who owns her heart _commands_ her to. A woman is never tamed or trained in that way."

"Oh god, hon. Stop it. You're killing me here," Dan said laughing aloud. "Come on command? Where did you learn that one?" Dan asked.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Hell, yeah."

"Mom."

"Your mother!" Dan gasped out loud, rolling quickly to the side and dumping Cassie none too softly back onto the bed. He leant up on his arm. "You have talked about our sex life with your mother?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, not exactly our sex life," she clarified, "because we hadn't started _our_ sex life, but I would have some rather interesting things to tell her now though," she added, just to tease him further.

Dan banged his head into his pillow, forehead first. Had it been a wall, it would have hurt.

Cassie laughed in response. "No, babe, seriously. Not _our_ sex life. But sex in general? Yeah."

"With your mother?"

"Why not? She knows a lot. You'll be happy with some of the little insights she has shared with me."

"Oh, god," Dan moaned. "That is so not the mental image I need to have."

"It's okay, silly," she said, ruffling the back of his head as he buried his face further into the pillow. "Besides, she has given me quite a few ideas that we can practise on."

Dan lifted his head and stared at his gorgeous girl. "Ideas to practise, huh?" he asked, intrigued.

"Absolutely."

"Care to share some then?"

"Are you sure you're up for it."

"Oh, I'm up gorgeous. I'm up."

Cassie giggled again. "Well, if that's the case," she said, levelling him with a glance, "are you up for some rules?"

"Rules?"

"Yes, rules."

"Okay. Shoot," he said, rolling onto his side, supporting his head with his left hand.

"No home run."

"What?"

"No. Home. Run." She repeated slowly for emphasis.

"Clarify please," he retorted.

"Well, you get to play but don't hit a homer."

"And the point would be?"

Laughing at his choice of words, she stopped when she realised he was actually expecting an answer.

"Well, there are many places on a woman's body that can drive her right to the brink without you having to be all snuggily-buggily, if you get what I mean."

Dan looked at her, raising his eyebrows, daring her to continue.

"Consider it like this. Let's say you are taking a shiny new car out on a long test drive," she clarified, "and you intend to find out how she drives and where all her hidden features are, without having to close the deal back at the dealership."

"Ok," Dan said slowly, getting the picture.

"Your job would be to find out all her hidden…what shall I call them…hidden extra's? The things you don't usually notice on first inspection."

"Okay," Dan said again, rolling her onto her back and slowly positioning himself on top of her. _Two can play at this game_, he thought, pressing his lower half against her and rocking gently while supporting most of his weight on his forearms.

"Oh," Cassie said, realising that she had lost the upper hand here. "So, you want to go on a test drive then?"

"Oh, yes. I want to test drive this little beauty," he said, looking at her through slightly narrowed eyes before smiling wickedly and throwing the covers up and over his head as he dove towards the foot of the bed.

"Oh, my god! What are you doing?" Cassie laughed out loud.

As Dan started to pay intimate attention to her toes and ankles, she could have sworn she heard him say, amid her own continued laughter, "Just looking for the driver's manual, hon."

* * *

See... there was a reason Alice and Cassie had all _those_ talks.

I feel good now that we can leave these two on such a positive note - happy and committed to each other; and now we can prepare to focus our energies elsewhere...

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

This one's for OSC – who stops by daily.

Hmm… Edward, home alone…not always a good thing…

**Chapter 19 – Failing to Understand**

Edward was finding it difficult to curb his anxiousness. Dan had called just before nine-thirty that Sunday morning to tell Edward that he and Cassie had left their hotel, and were on their way to his house. His apprehension caused him to pace around his home without purpose or direction. Edward made his way over to his beloved piano and began to play, hoping that his usual musical tonic would help to soothe his troubled mind.

Edward had left Alice and Jasper's the day before shortly after Dan and Cassie. He had driven home to Long Beach grateful for the chance to be alone again. The previous couple of days had been emotionally and physically exhausting – not just because he'd found out he had a long lost and previously unknown of son, but also because he'd had to work so very hard to overcome his constant desire to flee, which was his usual response to emotionally stressful situations. It had taken a herculean effort for Edward to return to Alice and Jasper's on the Friday morning as he had promised. He had to face both Dan and his entire family. The way he had left so abruptly the previous afternoon had no doubt left everyone in a quandary with more questions than answers. Edward sincerely hoped they realised that he felt the same way.

Edward had eventually sought counselling in order to try and come to terms with the failure of his marriage to Tanya. He'd gone to about a dozen sessions over a six-month period. As with many things in his life, he had kept his attendance at these sessions hidden from his family because they hadn't been privy to the issues surrounding the end of his marriage, and he had been unable to deal with their pain or pity at a time when his own emotions had been so raw.

Through counselling, he had grown to understand that their failure to have children hadn't been the primary cause of their marriage breakdown. He'd previously believed that losing the chance for children in their future had broken their present. But that had not been the truth. Their present had in fact been broken by his and Tanya's refusal to deal with lots of seemingly insignificant, but in all reality, fundamentally crucial issues within their shared past.

His sessions with his therapist had helped him to develop a greater sense of self, which had enabled him to recognise the negative ways that he reacted to certain situations. At the time, he thought that these achievements were enough. He had become a wiser, yet more emotionally fragile man. Edward didn't consider that a bad thing – on the contrary – he felt it was an incredible accomplishment to be more aware of himself and his reactions to other people. Unfortunately, he had believed that this knowledge alone would be enough to allow him to move on and rebuild his relationships with his family and friends, which had suffered during the breakdown of his marriage.

Time and his family's constant support had helped Edward reconnect with those he loved; however, time had also allowed him to carve out a more solitary existence. He'd found that he preferred his own company or that of one or two close friends. During their marriage, Tanya had taken charge of their social life. With its dissolution, he realised that most of their friends and acquaintances were, in fact, friends Tanya had courted. While he had maintained few old friendships outside of their relationship after the divorce, he'd done little to establish new ones.

Edward's job meant that he spent many hours alone working on his musical compositions. Although he didn't have to meet regularly with work acquaintances and industry professionals, there were times when he would have to convene with directors, producers, executives, and financial backers at the beginning of a project to get a feel for what the movie or theatre production company envisioned. For the most part, he preferred to work alone during the composition process. It wasn't, however, a process conducive for developing deep long-lasting friendships.

His family had become his closest friends. His two older sisters and their husbands had become his primary social network. Alice and Rosalie were forever trying to get him to drive up the coast to one function or another, which was the primary reason he had chosen to purchase a house in Long Beach a year after his divorce. The distance between his siblings and his parents created a buffer zone if he needed one. While he loved them dearly, being around them was sometimes a painful reminder of all he had lost. He'd found that having his own space helped him deal with that, and his self-imposed isolation had become a pattern over time. Even though he'd maintained regular, and sometimes daily, contact with his family, he didn't see them very often. And that suited him just fine.

It was during his time alone at home playing the piano Thanksgiving evening that Edward had come to realise that he needed to step up and face Dan's arrival into his life head on. With the benefit of hindsight, Edward realized that he had once again resorted to his tried and true coping strategy. He had taken flight from his family in a time of personal crisis.

Edward began to realise that an opportunity he thought had long since passed him by was being handed to him. He also began to understand that if he didn't start to respond more appropriately and fight his natural tendencies to flee as a means to protect himself from emotional turmoil, he would stand a chance of blowing it all and losing out, yet again.

With renewed determination to set things on the right path, Edward had headed towards his study to search through his files, finally finding the notes from his counselling sessions. He had started to reflect on those times and spent most of the night in quiet contemplation trying to ascertain how best to handle the situation. _What would be considered a positive reaction versus a negative one_?

Edward had spent some time working out how he would accomplish this and he decided that he needed time alone with Dan. If Edward was going to make sense of all this, he needed to speak privately with the boy. Dealing with Dan in front of his family was not the way to handle this. He needed more information than what had been said the day before. He knew that he would have to speak with his family as well, but speaking one-on-one with Dan was a priority. Mentally and physically exhausted, Edward had finally fallen asleep in the armchair around three a.m.

Forty-eight hours later, Edward was at his piano, again. This time, however, he was trying to work out what he would say to Dan and Cassie that morning when they arrived at his door.

In all honesty, he knew very little about this young man and even less about his mother, despite their intimate encounter years before_. How do you start a conversation with your grown son when you know next to nothing about him?_

Edward continued to play, smiling wryly to himself when he realised that he was improvising in a minor key. The resulting sounds that reverberated from the piano reflected his tortured mood – the notes loud; the music dramatic.

_How do you work at establishing a relationship with a man - your son - who lives across the country from you? _

_And what of his mother?_

Edward thought about her for a moment. Dan was very protective of his mother and had refused, almost point blank, to talk about her at all. Edward didn't see how he could establish a relationship with his son without reconnecting with her.

Truth be told, his feelings towards her weren't terribly positive. She had kept hidden from him the knowledge that he had fathered a child – her child - _his_ child. His rights as a father had been denied. Edward didn't understand why such a monumental thing as fathering a child should be hidden from him; thereby, not giving him an opportunity to be involved at any level. His life, unknowingly, had been influenced by the selfish choices of another.

He realised that what he was feeling towards Dan's mother was bitterness. Edward was angry that he had been ignored and kept in the dark. The chance to know about Dan's life - Dan's story - had been taken from him without his consent. He would have never allowed this to happen had he known.

As his anger and resentment towards Dan's mother continued to build, Edward seriously reconsidered giving Dan the item he had stored away in his safe for the past seventeen years.

_Why did she deserve it? Had she ever even considered his feelings at all over the last twenty odd years? Why should she be privy to his thoughts and feelings when she had so obviously refused to consider his?_

Abruptly, Edward pushed himself away from his piano and strode purposefully into the study. He moved behind the desk and pushed the chair away roughly before bending down to enter the combination to the safe hidden under his desk. In his anger, he incorrectly punched in the six-digit code, swearing under his breath when it failed to open. He took a moment to breathe deeply, attempting to calm himself before entering it again.

Once the safe was opened, he retrieved the envelope containing the letter he had written so long ago. Unceremoniously, he slammed the safe's door closed. It sprung back, failing to lock. Edward left it ajar, having neither the patience nor the inclination to spend any more time under his desk on his knees.

With the envelope held securely in one hand, Edward marched out of the study and down the hallway into the open plan living area. He moved over to the large glass doors that opened out onto the small yard at the rear of the house and stepped out into the morning sunshine. Walking to the edge of his yard that bordered the beach, he looked out over the water towards Catalina Island.

Edward's mind was a mishmash of jumbled thoughts – anger, frustration, sadness, bitterness, and longing for a past he never had the chance to live. He stayed still, letting the warmth of the sun settle on the skin at the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing, needing to calm his thoughts and his body's responses to what he was feeling. After several moments, he opened his eyes and looked down at the envelope he held. The seal remained – as it had been for many years – unbroken. He had never looked at the contents of this envelope since writing it, and yet, he could remember when he wrote it and its contents as if it was yesterday.

Edward ran his free hand through his hair as he stared at that envelope_. _

_I have a son_, he thought. _I have a son whom I don't know. He has a mother who I can't remember but that haunted my life for years until I reconciled with my past and let her go. How the hell do I move on from here?_

Edward had no idea how long he stood in his yard letting the sun and the sparkling shine of water work their magic on his senses and troubled thoughts. Eventually, he turned and moved towards the house. He folded the previously unblemished envelope and put it in his back pocket as he walked inside. He was in the kitchen drawing a glass of water from the faucet when he heard the door bell ring. Glancing briefly at the clock on the wall, he realised that Dan and Cassie had arrived right on time.

His heart was beating fast in his chest. His palms were slippery. The opportunity to experience a whole new future different from the one he'd envisioned for himself stood on the other side of that door.

_What if he wasn't ready for it? What if, when opening that door, he opened himself up to more pain and heartache? What if, by chasing the desire for a family of his own, he lost everything all over again?_

As he reached the door, he paused momentarily before willing himself to open it. He still had no idea what he would say when he did and whether the letter to his 'Mystery B' that was tucked securely in his back pocket, would ever make the trip back to New Hampshire.

* * *

**AN:**

Thanks to Sunfeathers who has, again, been doing some research for me – and some extra reading – thanks hon.

Thanks also to my terrific trio and to Grendel. The four of you are worth your weight in gold for your honesty and your integrity – and for your desire to always see me produce something I can be proud of.


	20. Chapter 20

Welcome back.

This is our last L.A. based chapter – for now.

To my awesome foursome – love and cuddles

To the readers leaving reviews… thank you, from the bottom of my sensitive little heart.

And to whoever is rec'ing my fic out there – thank you. I have had new readers come my way this week, and that's just awesome.

**Will he or won't he? That is the question… for Edward to answer… let's find out…**

*****************************************************************************************

**Ch 20 – Decision Time – part 1**

Edward's pulse was racing and his heart was pounding – its sound drumming in his ears. He took a deep breath and extended his hand to curl his fingers around the door knob, noting how cold the brass felt against his skin when it made contact. Closing his eyes, he exhaled slowly and opened the door with a smile planted firmly on his face as he greeted his son and niece.

"Well, hello there. You two sure are on time this morning."

"The traffic wasn't anywhere near as bad as I'd feared," Cassie replied as she reached up to kiss her uncle on the cheek.

Edward returned Cassie's show of affection, and then looked over towards Dan and extended his hand. "Morning, Dan," he said casually, shaking hands with him before stepping aside to usher them into his house. "Come on in, both of you," Edward said. "Did you have a nice day yesterday in L.A.?"

"Yeah, it was great," Dan confirmed as they moved past Edward and followed him through the foyer into the main living area of the house. Noticing his surroundings, Dan commented, "You have an impressive house here, Edward."

"Thank you. I spend a lot of my time here, so I like the space."

"You spend most of your time locked away in your music studio with all your instruments and gadgets," Cassie remonstrated, sounding a lot like her mother – something that Edward commented on immediately.

"Channelling your mother there are you, Cass?"

"I happen to think Alice is a wonderful person to channel," Dan quipped, giving Cassie a meaningful smile.

Edward caught the exchange and looked back and forth between the two, noticing Cassie's blush and the glint in Dan's eye. "Anything I need to know about here?" he asked.

"Nope, nothing at all. Alice is great and I'm a big fan," Dan said with a wink at Cassie.

Cassie turned beet red and cringed at Dan's words.

"Right," Edward said, realising he had absolutely no idea what was going on between the two of them. "So," he started, changing the topic. "What did you do in L.A. yesterday?"

Cassie literally snorted in response to that question and hid her face behind her hand while Dan made an attempt to salvage the conversation. He reached out to wrap his arm around Cassie's shoulders at the same time. "Cassie here took me to look at Hollywood Boulevard. We walked all over looking at the stars."

"See any good ones?"

"They're all meant to be good, aren't they?" answered Dan.

"Alrighty, then. Good point," Edwards conceded with a smile. "Allow me to rephrase. See any you recognised?"

"A couple. I had no idea how many there were. It took us hours."

"Well, it wouldn't have taken us so long had you not stopped to photograph so many of them," Cassie said, regaining her composure and joining in the conversation.

"Mom will get a kick out of those," Dan said, referring to the large number of photos they took the day before.

"Yes, well," Edward said, his playful tone changing at the mention of Dan's mother. "Can I get either of you something to eat or drink?"

"Actually, now that you mention it, a coffee would go down rather well. We were a bit rushed this morning," Dan answered.

Edward noticed that Cassie had blushed yet again while cuddled into Dan's side. Dan, too, had that weird half smile, half smirk on his face. Edward decided he really didn't want to know what was behind it all.

"That's fine. I can make you one here if you like, but there are a couple of nice cafés just up the beach. We could walk there and have a professional make it. I suspect they would do a lot better job."

"I thought you were going to buy yourself one of those new-fangle-one-touch-button-machine-monsters-that-sit-on-top-of-your-bench-and-do-everything-except-fry-your-eggs-for-breakfast models?" Cassie asked.

"For your information, Miss Smarty-pants, I could buy a coffee every day for a year and still have money to spare compared to the cost of one of those machine monsters as you call them."

"As if you have to worry about how much a machine monster costs," scoffed Cassie.

Edward levelled Cassie with a look. "Hasn't your mother ever told you that it's rude to comment about other people's money, Cass," Edward warned, feeling embarrassed that the topic of money had come up in front of Dan, in spite of the obvious opulent house they were all standing in.

"Uncle Edward," Cassie answered exasperated. "Have you looked at where you live? I think it's obvious to everyone that you have quite a healthy bank balance."

"That's enough, Cassandra," Edward's tone warning her to stop, right then and there. And if that wasn't enough of a hint, the glare that accompanied his comment surely left no room for doubt.

"Yeah, a walk up to the cafés sounds great," Dan quickly interjected, trying to dispel the tension. "Which way do we head? Back out the front door?"

Edward looked away from his niece, who was smiling a little sheepishly at her uncle and over towards Dan. "We can head out through the glass doors over there and walk up the beach if you like. It's quicker that way."

"Shoes on or off?" Dan questioned, remembering part of their conversation from a few days before.

"Your choice. The cafés are alfresco, so casual is fine, although, I can't do it. I have to have footwear on at a place like that."

"Righto, so, this way then?" Dan asked, indicating the large glass doors on the other side of the living room.

"Yes," Edward said, inclining his head in agreement. "You two head out there if you like. I'll just lock up."

Dan and Cassie moved out to the small lawn at the back of the house that faced the water – or was it the front? Dan found it hard to tell. The streets leading to Edward's house were very narrow, only wide enough to allow passage for one car at a time. _The front of the house __could actually be the rear of the house_, Dan mused. From where they were standing on the lawn, this view of the house looked very much like the front. Was it possible a house could have two fronts?

It was a very impressive house; that much was obvious even from the brief glimpse Dan had seen of the downstairs area. The two story home was painted in a pale gray with white trim around all the doors, windows and railings that bordered the upstairs verandas. There were two brick chimneys poking out from the roof line at either end. A small deck covered by a large beach style umbrella was at the back (or was it the front) door. The small flowering shrubs, hydrangeas Dan guessed, were planted under windows that ran along the length of the house. A single-story building separated from the main house stood slightly off to the side. Must be a guest accommodation, Dan suspected.

Cassie had been right. Edward did seem to have a healthy bank balance.

"Cass. How long has Edward lived here?" Dan asked her as he continued to look over the house.

"I don't know, really," Cassie answered. "Ten years or so, I suppose. He bought it after his divorce from Tanya."

Dan turned to look at her. "Divorce from Tanya?" Dan questioned. "He's been married?"

"Yes. You didn't know?"

"No. He never mentioned anything about it the other day," Dan said quietly, his brows furrowed.

"I'm not surprised, really," Cassie answered honestly. "It was a long time ago. I would have only been…ten…maybe eleven when they divorced. I wasn't really aware of things. I was so little and it kind of all went over my head. She just wasn't around anymore, you know?"

"Mmm," Dan replied. "How long were they married?"

"I don't know, really. There are photos of me at their wedding, and I couldn't have been any more than about three or so. Dad was holding me on his hip in one of the photos. So, yeah...I must have been fairly young."

Their conversation was interrupted when Edward came out the door and locked it closed behind him. He smiled at Dan and Cassie as he approached.

"Right. Let's head off," he said, pointing along the beach.

They chatted amiably as they walked towards the cafes. Once they arrived, Cassie and Dan settled at a table on the sidewalk while Edward went inside and ordered their drinks. He returned a few moments later informing them that their drinks would be brought out shortly.

"So," Edward started. "Have you two worked out when you are going to see each other next?"

Dan and Cassie shared a look, Cassie's face becoming a little downcast. Dan gently rubbed her shoulders as he answered Edward. "I can't get time off work, so I won't be able to make a trip out here again anytime soon. We're hoping that Cassie might be able to come out between Christmas and New Year, since she has that week off college. So, that's the plan for the moment," Dan said, looking towards Cassie when he had finished and offering her a supportive, if slightly sad, smile.

"Well, that's only a little over a month away," Edward offered, trying to lighten the mood. "It would be pretty cold out your way that time of year, Dan."

"I'll say," Dan agreed, looking back toward Edward. "You should see the amount of snow we can get overnight. Shovelling it from the drive becomes part of my daily exercise routine."

"Your mother must appreciate having you around the house, then," Edward conceded.

"Yeah. She had neighbours who looked after it for her when I was in college. In fact, I'm sure they appreciate me being home more than my mom does," Dan said laughing.

"I haven't been to that part of the country in years," Edward said, "and never in the winter. It must look beautiful with all that snow and the Christmas lights."

"You should come over then," Dan said, the words leaving his mouth before he'd thought about them.

Edward raised his eyebrows in response to Dan's suggestion. "I might just do that – sometime," he clarified.

"Why don't you come over with me?" Cassie suggested. "I am going to see if Sammy wants to come. Since Dan will be working most days, I wanted to see if she would keep me company. We could go sightseeing while Dan is at work during the day, and then," she continued, her enthusiasm getting the better of her, "we could catch up with Chris when you two finished work for the day." She turned to face Dan, a smile on her face for the first time in minutes. "It would be like a bit of a reunion." Cassie's voice clearly demonstrated her eagerness at the idea. "If you came over, too, Uncle Edward," she said, turning this time to face Edward, "you could meet Chris. He was the guy travelling with Dan when I met him in Australia. Oooh, and you could see Bella, again. It would be a great chance for you all to get together."

Dan and Edward exchanged wary looks, both apparently thinking the same thing.

"Ah, I don't know, Cassie," Edward started. "We're probably best not to rush things on that front. Dan still hasn't told his mother anything about the events of this weekend, yet. Have you?" Edward queried.

"Oh, damn," Cassie mumbled under her breath, realising her mistake.

"No, I haven't. Not yet," Dan confirmed for Edward before turning to look softly over at Cassie. "It's alright, gorgeous. I'm kinda excited about you coming for a visit, too. It's OK to get carried away."

"Sorry," Cassie said.

"Well, it is a month away." This time it was Edward's turn to sound a little enthusiastic, "and I would like to think that maybe I would be able to at least chat some more with you, and perhaps your mother, by then."

"Really?"

It was in this briefest of moments that Edward finally made up his mind. He wanted to get to know his son. He wanted to see where he lived and what his life was like. If that meant building a bridge and getting to know Dan's mother, then so be it. This was his chance for the family he'd always wanted. He wasn't about to blow it.

"Yes." Edward said with a nod. That simple word masked so many hurried thoughts and much of the internal conflict from the last twenty-four hours. "Yes," he said again for good measure. "Your mother and I are going to have to get to know each other, Dan. I meant what I said the other day on the beach. I want to get to know you, and that will mean getting to know your mother, too," Edward said, convincing himself as much as he was informing Dan of his intentions. "I could arrange my schedule so that I could come out for that week between Christmas and New Year. I could come out with the girls and spend some time with you. I'd like that."

"Yeah. Well…," Dan started, unsure how to respond. "I guess that would be alright. I just don't know how Mom is going to handle all of this though," he said, his mind a million miles away. "I haven't quite worked out how I'm going to tell her about all of this," he said, gesturing with his hand between himself and Edward.

At that exact moment, the waitress arrived with their coffees. Edward shifted slightly in his seat, aware of the envelope that resided in his back pocket. He thought about it but didn't make a move to offer it to Dan – not yet.

"So," Edward started once the waitress had left, "what kind of work is it that you do, Dan?"

"I finished my degree in Business Communications and Public Relations back in May. After I came back from our trip," he said, reaching to rub the back of Cassie's neck with his free hand and giving her an affectionate look, "I got a job with a small, family-owned PR firm in Manchester. I get a lot of opportunities that I don't think I would get if I started in a larger company. The owners are nice people, and they agreed to give me this weekend off before I started with them. That's why I can't take time off over Christmas and New Year; it wouldn't be fair. Besides, it is a busy time of year for us apparently," he finished.

"Working in Manchester also lets you stay close to home," Cassie reminded him.

"Yeah, that was another bonus. I spent most of my money travelling in Oz, so I didn't exactly have the funds behind me to set up in my own place, yet."

"So, you live with your mother, then?" Edward asked.

"Yeah," Dan laughed, slightly embarrassed.

"But Bella enjoys having you home, Dan," Cassie said. "He stayed on campus while he was at college," she explained to Edward, "so he wasn't around that much then."

"Only on the weekends when I'd bring my washing home," Dan added sheepishly.

"You'd take your washing home to your mother?" Edward asked, laughing along.

"Not to her. Just her machine. She hasn't washed my stuff in years. She called it 'teaching me independence'. I called it 'child labor', but the end result was the same. I learnt to do my own washing and hers, too, on occasion."

"Do you cook, too?" Edward asked, enjoying the exchange.

"Not well," Cassie answered for him.

"Hang on a minute!"

"What? You consider well-done steaks cooking? Not likely," Cassie quipped.

Cassie and Dan continued to banter good naturedly back and forth. Edward sat back and sipped on his coffee quietly, watching the two of them. He noticed there was a great deal of affection there, and he wistfully remembered a time in his own life when things had been carefree.

"Well," Cassie said, as she rose from their table, drawing Edward's attention from his reverie. "Nature calls, so play nicely 'til I can get back, please?" she said looking directly at her uncle.

"They're out the back of the café, I think," Edward offered, ignoring her pointed remark.

"I'll find it. I'll be back in a minute or so."

"Take your time. We're fine," Edward said as he went to take another sip of his coffee.

After Cassie was out of ear shot, Dan leaned forward in his seat. "Edward," he began, putting his forearms on the table in front of him and holding his coffee cup in both hands. "I'm a bit worried about Cassie being at the airport this afternoon by herself. I don't want to do a drop and run, but I don't want her hanging around by herself either. I don't suppose there's any chance you would come to the airport with us is there? I'd feel better leaving her if I knew she wasn't left at the airport all alone."

"Saying goodbye is tough, huh?"

"It sucks," Dan said bluntly.

Edward smirked at that response. "Have you asked Cassie if she wants company?"

"No. She won't talk about going to the airport at all. That's what has me worried, and she still has to drive back home from there. I don't want her trying to do that all upset."

"Understood. Although, I'm sure you're aware that my niece won't agree to anything she doesn't think is a good idea, especially one she hasn't thought of herself."

"I know."

"Leave it with me. I'll see what I can wrangle."

"Thanks."

Their conversation stalled at this point as awkwardness descended on the two men. They both felt its weight and neither truly wanted it, but were at a loss as to how to dispel it.

Cassie returned to the table shortly after.

"Well, playing nice didn't mean you had to stay quiet," she joked as she settled back into her seat.

"We haven't been," Dan reassured her, pulling his chair closer to hers and draping his arm across the back of it. She leaned sideways into him and rested her hand casually on his thigh. They exchanged brief smiles before he kissed her softly on her forehead.

_A picture of togetherness_ Edward thought to himself as he drained what was left in his cup.

"I'd forgotten how nice Long Beach was this time of year," Cassie said, kick starting the conversation.

"One of the reasons I like it is that it doesn't draw the crowds, even in peak season, the way some of the other beaches along the coast do," Edward remarked.

"You've been here a while, then?" Dan asked.

"Since 2000," Edward replied. "I bought it a year after my divorce."

Dan didn't respond verbally. He took another sip of his near empty coffee and nodded his head. It was a shock to find out that Edward had been married before. _Still_, he thought to himself, _just because Mom has been alone all these years, it doesn't mean he's had to be._

Surprising himself, Edward elaborated. "We used to live in downtown L.A. when I was married," he clarified. "After the divorce, I wanted to get away from the city, and my real estate broker suggested Long Beach. It used to be primarily a shipping port, but it has some lovely homes, too. And it's not too far removed from L.A., so I can travel there relatively quickly - by L.A. standards anyway."

"What exactly is it that you do?" Dan asked.

"I write music."

"For?"

"A variety of things, really. These days, I prefer to write full orchestral arrangements for musical theatre or cinema. It's different from what I started out doing."

"Rock music?" Dan asked.

"Among other things. Once I'd decided I didn't want to do the rock scene any more," Edward started, as he and Dan shared a meaningful glance, "I started looking for other things. It took me a while, but I eventually got into writing jingles for TV commercials. Things went from there slowly at first, but it all eventually led me to what it is I do today."

"And you've won an award," Dan ventured.

"How did you know I've won an award?" Edward asked, taken aback.

"Research."

"When you were trying to find me?"

"Mmm," Dan replied, nodding his head and fidgeting with his empty coffee cup in front of him.

"You've won a couple, haven't you?" Cassie asked her uncle.

Edward felt decidedly uncomfortable. Dan obviously knew a lot more than he had let on.

"I've been nominated more times than I've actually won anything," Edward corrected her. "I won a Tony for an adaptation of the musical score for Annie a few years back," he explained to Dan.

"But you were nominated for an Oscar, too," Cassie pressed.

"Yes, Cass. That was two years ago," he said before looking at Dan. "But then again, I suspect you already know that."

Dan again nodded his head in agreement. "I may have read that somewhere," he conceded.

"What else did you read?" Edward asked, surprised to find he was feeling defensive. It unnerved him that aspects of his life seemed to be so readily available for public scrutiny.

"Not a lot more," Dan hedged. "I wasn't really even sure if I had found the right person, and I had to wade through a lot of unrelated information in the last few months trying to narrow down my search. You weren't that easy to find, at first."

"At first," Edward repeated.

Dan shrugged his shoulders, feeling self-conscious. This topic hadn't been broached before now.

Cassie observed the interaction quietly. She sensed both men's growing discomfort with the direction the conversation had taken and she wanted to arrest that.

"Feel like walking back toward the house?" she asked brightly. "Dan hasn't had a tour yet, Uncle Edward. You really need to show him your music studio. I'm sure he'd been keen to look at that."

"Sure, if you're happy to show me," Dan said, wanting to put an end to the awkwardness.

"No problem," Edward replied, pushing himself up abruptly.

"Great," Cassie said, sounding overly cheerful and exchanging a sympathetic look with Dan.

"Good," said Edward, putting his hands in his pocket but not making a move.

"Right," intoned Dan, wanting more than ever to return to the light conversation from minutes ago.

"Well, then. This way," Edward stated as he moved off, while Dan and Cassie fell into step behind him.

The three of them walked in silence for a minute or two. Dan had his arm around Cassie's shoulders. One of her arms was wrapped around his lower back, while the other was placed gently on his abdomen rubbing slow calming circles trying to ease his tension. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head as they walked.

Edward was a pace or two in front of them with his hands in his pockets and head bowed. He was working hard to gather his thoughts and calm his anxiousness for the second time that day. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Dan had come across information about his professional life on the internet. He had a public profile in the music industry despite doing his best to avoid the spotlight. He'd attended a few awards shows in the past when he'd been nominated, as well as the odd gala once or twice a year supporting philanthropic pursuits. All of these would have been well documented, he surmised logically, had he ever bothered to look himself up on the web. He'd never really considered just how traceable people were in this modern day and age. He briefly wondered how high profile celebrities coped with the massive amount of public interest in their careers and personal life. He would find the whole experience terribly invasive and suppressed a shudder as he walked along the beach towards his home, his private sanctuary.

As they drew closer and closer to his home, Edward realised that he needed to be grateful for Dan's persistence and investigations. Without them, Edward would have met Dan but he would never have known about his relationship to him. He briefly wondered what it would have been like to have found out six or twelve months, or even years, from now. He was glad that wasn't the case. Everyone in the family seemed to be dealing relatively well with things at this point, but he wondered how it would have been different if Cassie and Dan had been married when they'd found out. Edward smiled to himself. _Rushing things a bit there, aren't we? _he thought. _Married_ he thought again. _If they married, that would mean that Dan's mother would be Cassie's mother-in-law, and I would be her father-in-law. Try putting that into one of those computer based genealogy programs._ He laughed to himself at that point. He couldn't think that there were too many programs that could handle this kind of family tree.

"What's so funny?" Cassie asked. She'd been watching her uncle as closely as she could from her position. She'd caught his smile and hoped that it had indicated a change in his mood.

Edward slowed his pace to match Dan and Cassie's. "Honestly?" he answered. "I was wondering how many family tree-based computer programs could handle the little situation we've got going on here."

Dan and Cassie both laughed briefly at that comment.

"Maybe we should write to one of them and give them a challenge of sorts?" Dan suggested.

"Nobody would believe us," Edward answered. "They would think it was some kind of practical joke."

"True," Dan agreed. Now that they were talking again, he wanted to keep it flowing. "So, do you walk along here often?"

"Everyday. I love the twilight hours, although they are the busiest. There is a symbiotic relationship between the water and me. I feel a peace here that I don't get anywhere else on earth."

"And what do you give to it in return?" Cassie asked.

"Homage."

"Win-win, then?" Dan asked.

"Indeed. Do you like the water, Dan?"

"I used to swim a lot in school. Mom always said I had a built in pair of flippers with these size 13s, but the early morning wake-ups were enough to take the shine off it for me."

"You gave it up, then?"

"Hmm. Competitively, anyway. Purely recreational purposes these days."

"Do you do any other form of exercise?"

"I run," Dan said. "But that get's pretty hard in my neck of the woods this time of year. It was always pretty easy to exercise at college, but I suppose I will have to look at joining a gym or something now that I'm working," he mused. "You?" he asked, turning the question back on Edward.

"I don't like running. Walking's my thing. I've never yet seen a smile on a runner's face while their running. If you can find me one, I'll consider it taking it up."

"Scenery's pretty good, too," Dan commented as a couple of attractive young ladies passed them on a run.

"Hellooo," Cassie said, waving her hand in front of his eyes. "I'm right here."

"I don't need to shop at the store, gorgeous," Dan said, squeezing Cassie's shoulders. "All my treats are right here, but that doesn't mean that the window dressings aren't eye catching."

Edward laughed out loud at that comment, especially when Cassie curled up her fist and hit Dan in the stomach. Dan pretended to have the wind knocked out of him, but it was a light hearted and affectionate exchange, and Edward to glad to be a part of it.

Edward indicated the small set of steps that lead up onto his small yard and moved towards them, Dan and Cassie following his lead.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Dan started. "Is this your front or back yard? It's a bit confusing really. The house from this side looks like the front, but with the yard and the separate outhouse, I'm a little confused."

"You know, I really have no idea," Edward conceded. "I've always referred to it as my backyard, but I've never given it much thought."

"Backyard it is, then," Dan concurred.

"But that outhouse you're referring to is my music studio. That's where I work."

"In there?" Dan asked pointing.

"Yes," Edward said stopping to look at him. "You sound surprised."

"I just thought you would need a bigger area, that's all – for all your instruments and things."

"It all fits in there, I assure you. Come on, I'll show you." Edward moved towards his studio and unlocked the door. He disarmed the alarm before flipping on the light and stepping aside for them to enter.

Dan blinked his eyes, adjusting to the difference in light from outside. He looked around the room and saw an assortment of instruments, computers, music stands, and speakers.

"How many instruments do you play?" Dan asked.

"Five or six, if you don't care about accuracy all that much – different types of guitar, keyboards, a few brass, and a woodwind or two – that's it really."

"What? No strings?" Dan asked dryly. He was in awe that somebody could have that much musical talent.

"No," Edward said laughing lightly. "No strings, aside from guitar, of course."

"Of course," Dan said. He was slightly distracted taking in everything around him.

"I've never thought about it before, but how do you write music for instruments you don't play?" Cassie asked him, genuinely interested. Her uncle's music room was his private sanctuary. She hadn't been in there in years but was amazed by what she saw.

"You don't need to be able to play them to write for them, Cass," Edward explained. "You just need to know about them; what their limits are; how they are best played; things like that."

"I suppose," she agreed.

"Do you play anything, Dan?"

"I taught myself guitar, but I doubt it would be considered playing by your standards," Dan said.

"That's great," Edward said enthusiastically. "You should show me what you can do."

"Ah…I don't think so," Dan said warily. "Maybe another time – somewhere down the track – waaayyy down the track."

"Another time, then."

"Speaking of time," Cassie said but not elaborating further.

Dan and Edward both looked at their watches simultaneously.

"We'd better look at heading off soon," Dan said, exchanging a look with Edward. "My flight leaves in three hours, and I'm not too sure about the traffic situation. I suspect L.A.X will be pretty busy this afternoon, too."

"Yes. Well, about that," Edward started. "How would you feel about giving me a lift, Cass," he said, thinking quickly. "I have some things I have to do in L.A. this afternoon. Could I hitch a ride with you?"

"Ah, Uncle Edward," Cassie responded slowly, taken aback. "I was going to head home straight from the airport. How will you get back?"

"That won't be a problem. I'll get a cab. I could drop you off at L.A.X so that you can go and say a proper goodbye to Dan, rather than a drop and go. I'll drive around for a bit or go find a park somewhere until you are ready for me to collect you. You could then drop me off downtown before you head back up the coast. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan," Dan said, a little too quickly.

"Sounds like a setup to me," Cassie scolded, looking back and forth between the two of them. "When did you two plan this little charade?"

Edward and Dan exchanged glances. Dan fessed up. "Planned wouldn't exactly be what I would call this," he started, looking towards Edward for help.

"No, Cass. Dan just mentioned to me that he was a bit worried about you being at the airport on your own and asked if I might tag along to make sure you were OK before driving home again."

Cassie looked towards Dan, seeking confirmation.

"That's all, hon. I swear. Nothing untoward, here. I'm just worried about you being alone once I go through the gate, that's all," he said, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear before leaving his fingers resting along her jaw line under her chin.

Cassie looked between the two men, who were a little anxious about her reaction.

"I'm not a baby, you know," she warned them. "I can look after myself."

"I know that, hon. I just don't want you to _have_ to. I just want to know that you'll be OK when I leave. You've still got a long drive home afterwards."

Cassie pursed her lips, thinking. Dan waited for her to say something. Edward watched his niece in amusement, seeing her mother reflected in her actions yet again.

"I'm not going to win this, am I?" she said finally.

"Not without a fight," Dan agreed.

"I don't want to fight," Cassie said sadly.

"Then don't."

"Fine," she said a little disgruntled. "But I drive into L.A. and I'll swap seats with you at the airport," she said, turning to look at her uncle. "I'm not sitting in the backseat of my own car."

"Fine," Edward said, raising both hands in surrender. "Never let it be said that I don't know how to give in to a Cullen woman."

"Good. Well, let's make a move," she said, taking control back over the situation.

"You lead, I'll lock up," Edward said.

Dan and Cassie moved back into the yard and waited for Edward to lock up his studio. Dan scooped Cassie up into his arms, closed his eyes, and held her close against his body. Their time left together now was fast drawing to a close, and he wanted to make the most of each and every moment they had left. Cassie curled herself into Dan's embrace and rested her forehead against his chest. This was how Edward found them after he finished locking his studio.

Edward was touched by the obvious closeness that Dan and Cassie shared. As he looked at the two of them, he couldn't help but wonder what the future might hold for all of them, especially if Dan and Cassie's relationship lasted the dual tests of distance and time.

Edward began to move back towards the main house. Dan, sensing Edward's movement, opened his eyes and loosened his hold on Cassie, softly kissing the top of her head as he let her go.

"Come on," he whispered quietly to her as he reached for her hand and started to follow Edward up the steps towards the back of the house.

Once inside, Edward tossed his keys on the kitchen counter and turned to face Dan and Cassie as they entered through the glass doors from the porch.

"Dan," he started, but stopped, unsure how to continue. He collected his thoughts before he tried again. "I've got something for you to take home to your mother, if you want it, that is," he said haltingly.

"I was starting to think that you'd reconsidered that," Dan said quietly, "seeing as how you hadn't mentioned it, yet."

"To be honest with you…I had," Edward answered. "I'd more or less decided that it wasn't something I was prepared to do."

"But now, you do?"

"Yes. Now, I do."

Dan remained silent with Cassie by his side. She was unsure of the meaning behind this exchange.

"Can I ask what changed your mind about giving it to me?"

"You did," Edward said simply. "You and Cassie have changed my mind."

"How?"

It was Edward's turn to remain momentarily silent. He looked from Dan to Cassie, and smiled at the two of them. "You two have something very special going on here. In fairness to the both of you, and if you are to beat the odds and make your relationship work, you deserve to have the support of your families. Considering our...how shall we say it..._unique situation_," Edward said, raising his eyebrows, "you have even more hurdles to jump than regular couples. I want to make sure I do my part in making that as easy as possible."

Edward reached into his back pocket and withdrew the folded envelope that had been concealed there. Dan looked questioningly at it before Edward went on to explain.

"I wrote this letter to your mother, many years ago, the night before I married Tanya," Edward began. "That night twenty odd years ago and what I woke to the next day had haunted my memories for years up to that point. As you know, I could remember very little about what had happened. It was something that scared me more than I can explain. I went through all of that again with you the other day – as much as I need to for now, anyway," he clarified. "The night before I married Tanya, I wrote a letter letting your mother and those memories go." Edward paused here. He was surprised at how emotional this moment was for him and the flood of feelings that resurfaced as he relived the events from the night before his ill-fated wedding. "I was about to make a promise to the woman I thought I was going to love and be married to for the rest of my life. I didn't feel that I could do that honestly while the memories of _that night_ and the vague flashes I had of your mother still invaded my thoughts. I wrote a letter thanking her for being the impetus that made me turn my life around and made me work to become a better person. I had no idea who she was, of course. I just knew her as my _Mystery B, _but I thanked her all the same. I have never opened this envelope since that night. It has been locked away in my safe ever since, along with your mother's note to me from that morning years before. That was when I stopped carrying her note with me. It had lived in my wallet every day since I had awakened and found it on the bench in the hotel room. Her words had become, for all intents and purposes, my lifeline; my mantra. I was about to embark on a new phase of my life with Tanya. To be fair to her, I had to let your mother and my past up to that point go."

Cassie stood there listening to her uncle's story. Two silent tears rolled down either side of her face. She'd had no idea about any of this. Dan hadn't told her that Bella had left Edward a note all those years ago. To listen to the way her uncle spoke now, about Bella's influence on his life, about how she had unknowingly helped him turn his life around, was amazing. Cassie was unable to contain her own emotions.

"Can I ask you one thing, please?" Edward asked, looking directly at Dan.

Dan, too emotional himself to speak, answered with a silent nod.

"Can you please not open this? Can you give it to your mother without reading it yourself? I assure you, there is nothing in it that I haven't already explained to you, but I wrote this letter to her, never for one minute thinking that it would ever reach its destination. Out of respect for me, would you please let your mother be the first one to read it?"

Dan nodded his head and cleared his throat quietly before answering. "Sure," he said. "Sure thing."

"Thank you," Edward said, and with that, he crossed the small distance between himself and Dan and handed him the envelope.

Dan took it from Edward silently and folded it carefully, this time placing it in his own back pocket.

"Thank you, Edward," Dan said. "I really have no idea how I am going to bring this up with her, but I assure you, I will deliver this to her. I promise."

Edward stood still in the middle of his living room lost in thought with his head bowed. He didn't notice Cassie close the gap between them until he felt her skinny arms wrap around his waist as she hugged him. He, in turn, enclosed her in a hug of his own and rested his head on the top of hers. He looked over to Dan, who was watching the embrace, and smiled at him briefly. It lasted only a moment, but there was a definite shift in their relationship at that point. They were no longer strangers who had met over Thanksgiving lunch just a few brief days before. They weren't yet father and son, but they were on their way.

* * *

A/N: So, Edward's handed over his letter to his Mystery B. Dan's heading home. Everyone, altogether now… OMG… Poor Bella!

Reviews make me happy, so, please, give me heaps of reasons to smile.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N's at the bottom - go read

SM owns the twi characters in canon. This story and it's OC characters are mine. Please respect the rights of the author.

* * *

**Chapter 21 – Decision Time part 2**

_Mom. I've got a funny story to tell you._

_Mom. You're not going to believe who I ran into on the weekend._

_Mom. I met the rest of Cassie's family, and guess what? We're related._

_Mom. Eddie's name is Edward Cullen, and he's Cassie's uncle._

Dan's thoughts were a mishmash of joy and anxiety as he drove home from work early Monday evening. A light snow had started to fall, which made driving even more hazardous than usual. Add fatigue to that combination, and Dan was really struggling to keep his mind on the road instead of the imaginary conversations in his head.

It had been a long twenty-four or so hours since he'd left Cassie at LAX. Parting from her had been difficult, and Dan had been grateful that Edward had agreed to accompany them to the airport for Cassie's sake. Once they'd arrived, Edward had taken Cassie's car as planned so that she could accompany Dan inside to say farewell. When the time arrived that Dan could no longer delay his departure, Cassie had become quite teary. Dan had held her and whispered soothing words and promises into her hair, while Cassie cried quietly against his chest. Leaving this time was even harder than it had been in New York, and Dan had felt a tightness in his chest that had evolved into a distinct ache behind his ribs as he prepared to walk away from her.

In their final moments together, Dan had looked up to see Edward standing a short distance away from them. Edward didn't intrude on their farewell, having said his own goodbye to Dan when they had first arrived. Rather, he stood there patiently, watching and waiting for Dan to take his leave. Edward caught Dan's eye, and with a wink and a gesture of his hand, let Dan know that he would look after Cassie the minute Dan walked away. Dan smiled sadly but gratefully, and then silently formed the word "thanks".

With a last gentle, emotionally-charged kiss, Dan had picked up his bag and walked towards the security gates. He'd taken one last look back towards his girl before he'd disappeared from view. Dan saw that Edward had crossed the floor and had Cassie in his arms, gently rocking her back and forth. They both watched as Dan waved briefly before moving beyond the security and out of sight. It was only then that Dan allowed himself a moment to deal with his own emotions. He sat in the chairs and waited for the final boarding call for the flight that would take him home and away from Cassie. He'd closed his eyes and felt tears prick behind them, but blinked them away not wanting to look like some lovesick puppy. Yet, he knew that's exactly what he was.

It was while sitting in the chair that he did something he'd been putting off for most of the weekend – he called his mom.

Bella had been home when he'd called. The weather was turning bleak, and she wasn't sure if it was going to snow or just rain. She was curled up on the sofa in the living room with the heater on and a cup of hot chocolate next to her while reading a new book. She'd been happy to hear from him and was not at all upset that he hadn't called her before then. He'd told her that the weekend had been an interesting one and he would see her at home Monday night after work.

Dan had disconnected from the call feeling like a liar. He hadn't lied to her, of course, but he hadn't told her the truth about his weekend either. It was a conversation he wasn't willing to have with her over the phone, he'd argued with himself logically, but that still didn't make him feel any better about the omissions.

Now that he was in his car and nearing home, he was growing more anxious by the minute. He still had no idea how he was going to start this conversation with his mother. He had Edward's letter tucked away inside his coat pocket on the seat next to him. An earlier phone call from Edward had confirmed what they knew in their hearts to be true; the DNA test results determined, beyond doubt, that Edward was indeed Dan's father. Dan had felt relieved when Edward had told him. He felt relief that he hadn't gotten it all wrong and that the weekend hadn't been for nothing. He was glad that his research had led him to the conclusions it had.

Dan also believed that he had heard the same relief in Edward's tone when he'd spoken to him earlier that afternoon. But then, Edward had gone on to say something else. He'd told Dan that he wanted to come out to see him and his mother that coming weekend – just four days away. He'd told Dan that he had cleared his schedule and could fly out on Friday, which meant that he'd be there by Friday night.

This presented Dan with another whole set of problems. Dan had to tell Bella that not only had he discovered who his father was and not told her, but that he'd also met him, even though that had been completely unplanned. Now, Edward wanted to meet her in four days time.

This did nothing to calm Dan's anxiousness as he drove down the street towards his mother's house.

After pulling into the driveway and parking in the garage, he turned off the engine and sat in his car drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. _Who knew the truth could be so hard?_

Dan grabbed his bags from the back of the car and walked outside into the softly falling snow. _Tomorrow will be a shovelling day if this keeps up,_ he mused as he reached for the garage door to pull it closed.

He trudged his way through the recently fallen snow to the back of the house and up the small set of steps that lead to the door. Without ceremony, he pushed it open and stepped inside, closing the door to the elements behind him.

"Mom? I'm home," Dan called loudly from his position inside the back door as he dropped his bags on the floor by his feet.

"I'm in the kitchen," he heard her reply. "I'm just about to serve up dinner."

"Smells good," he called back bending to untie his laces before taking off his shoes. _They're going to need polishing in the morning, _he thought, realising the mud and slush had gotten to them on the short walk from the car_. _

Leaving his bags where they were – he'd take them down to the laundry later – he walked through the house towards the kitchen.

"Have you cooked pot roast?" he asked as he reached the doorway.

"Well _hello_ to you, too," Bella replied, taking off her oven mitts and putting them on the counter.

Dan moved further into the kitchen and over to his mother, giving her a kiss in greeting before replying, "I called hello from the back door."

"That doesn't count. You used that like a door bell, announcing your arrival," she chastised him.

"God that smells good," Dan said, ignoring Bella's comment and looking over the top of her head to the pot roast Bella had cooking in the slow cooker.

"Hungry are we? I suspected as much. Grab us a couple of plates from the cupboard will you, and I'll serve it up," Bella said, pushing her son in the direction of the required cupboard and away from their dinner. "So, how's Cassie?"

"Cassie's great. She says _hello_."

Bella smiled in response to that little light hearted quip. "Did you do anything interesting over the weekend just the two of you, or did you spend most of your time with her family?" Bella asked innocently.

Dan paused momentarily and weighed up his answer before responding. "We went down to L.A. on Saturday, and I left from there on Sunday. We were with her family the rest of the time before that," he responded, facing the cupboard while he retrieved the plates. He was glad that Bella couldn't see his face.

"So how was everyone?"

"Good. Alice and Rosalie said to say hello, too."

"That's nice. And what about Cassie's dad, Jasper? How did you two get along?"

Dan handed Bella the plates as he answered.

"Jasper's great. A really nice guy. Rosalie's husband, Emmett, is a good guy, too. He's quite funny, actually. He and Rosalie are a case of opposites attracting."

"Rosalie seems friendly enough," Bella said, remembering back to when she meet her in New York. Bella was busily dishing up their dinner and wasn't paying much direct attention to Dan. If she had been, she would have notice the briefest of shadows fall across his face.

"She's alright," he agreed.

"Was Sammy there?" Bella continued as she wiped her hands on the towel near the sink.

"Yeah. She was there until Friday night, and then she went off with friends for the rest of the weekend."

"It must have been nice to catch up with her again," Bella offered, passing Dan a plate that seemed too small for the serving of pot roast it was holding.

"It was."

"Now, tell me. Did you get to meet Cassie's grandparents?" Bella asked as they moved across to sit at the small circular table together.

"Mmm," Dan said, putting his dinner down on the table but not sitting yet. "Would you like a drink with dinner, Mom?"

"Oh, I've got a wine on the counter, love. Can you pass it to me, please? I've left it over there."

"Sure, no problem." Dan was grateful for the break in conversation. So far, Bella had mentioned everyone in Cassie's family, except for Edward. It was a topic he was eager to steer clear of for the time being.

"There's beer in the fridge," Bella offered as Dan retrieved her wine.

"Thanks," he said, bending to kiss the top of her head. "I'm on it."

He got himself a beer and made his way back to the table. "So," he started, as he pulled out his chair and finally took his seat. "How was the rest of your Thanksgiving?" he asked, thankful for the chance to steer the conversation to safer waters.

"Oh, we had a lovely time at Mike and Jess'," Bella enthused. "It was complete chaos, especially once the snow started falling later in the day. Everyone ended up inside, kids included. It was a bit crowded and noisy, and the kids were all cooped up but that's inevitable this time of year."

"Did Steve have a good time?"

"Yes. I thought it might be a bit awkward, you know," she clarified, "meeting friends of a friend so to speak, but he and Mike got on famously. Jess' twin brothers and their wives were there, too, so there was plenty of conversation. Do you know there are eight kids in that family now? One of Jess' younger brothers and his wife just had another baby a month ago. I told you that, right?"

"Huh?" Dan mumbled through a mouthful of Bella's pot roast.

"One of Jess' younger brothers and his wife has a new baby," Bella repeated for good measure.

"Oh," Dan replied, still chewing.

Bella rolled her eyes and shook her head. _Dan and food - would things never change?_

"Let me know when you're taking a break between mouthfuls, and then maybe we can continue our conversation," Bella intoned.

"Sor-ry," Dan said, swallowing hastily. "I skipped lunch today and I'm starving."

"Why did you skip lunch?"

"There's a big fundraiser coming to town later next year, and we're trying to win the contract to run it. It was all stations go today."

"Sounds exciting."

"Maybe for some of the others, but for me? Not so much. It was run-my-ass-off day trying to stay one step ahead of people but mostly staying two steps behind. Busy day."

"I will admit, you're looking pretty tired, love," Bella said, noticing the dark circles under his eyes.

"Yeah, well. I didn't really sleep all that well on the plane, and I've been up since three a.m. local time, so yeah. I'm beat," he answered before putting yet another forkful of dinner in his mouth.

"You should head off to bed early," Bella suggested. "I can clean up here when we're done."

"No need," Dan said, chewing on his food. "I can help, besides," he said, swallowing his mouthful, "I'd like to have a chat if we could."

"What about?"

"Not now," Dan said, diverting the topic again. "Gotta finish this first. Eat up while it's hot," he said, pointing to Bella's almost untouched plate with his fork.

They continued to chat while they finished their dinner, Dan keeping the topics away from any mention of Cassie's extended family. Dan had gotten up and helped himself to a second serving. Bella sat at the table and watched him, amazed by just how much he could eat and yet not have it show up around his middle. _Oh, the joys of youth_, she mused.

It was only after they had finished their dinner that Dan bravely, yet apprehensively, broached the subject of Edward.

"Mom, that was a great dinner, thanks," Dan started, leading with a compliment.

"You're welcome," Bella said, sitting back in her chair and looking at him through narrowed eyes. "But somehow I have the feeling you have something other than my cooking on your mind tonight. Care to share?"

Dan looked away from his mother's gaze and started fiddling with the beer bottle on the table in front of him. He finally got the nerve to look up into his mother's eyes. What he saw there was curiosity and patience. It made him sick to think that this 'yet to be had' conversation that was hanging over the top of them. He was seriously regretting his second plate of pot roast at this point.

Bella was confused_. Had there been problems with Cassie in L.A.?_ Dan's reluctance to speak unnerved her. _I wonder if he wants to tell me that he wants to move,_ she thought. _Could that be it?_ _Were there problems with Cassie's family while he was over there? Something's bugging him?_ Her thoughts continued in an endless stream, one springing to the surface after another.

"What is it, Dan? You can tell me. I promise to listen."

_What's going on here, love_? she thought, her mind still racing. _The last time he'd been like this…_ She allowed her thoughts to trail off thinking back to their more than awkward conversation in the car after he'd arrived home from Australia.

"I've got something I need to tell you, Mom. And I don't think you're going to find it easy to hear."

"Alright, then," Bella said, looking him in the eye. "I've been forewarned, but no matter what it is, you can tell me, Dan. I'll help you in whatever way I can. You know that." Bella's mind was being flooded with questions. _Did he get himself into trouble over there? Is that why he hadn't called me? Did he and Cassie break up? No,_ she thought to herself, shaking her head slightly. _That doesn't make sense._

"I know," he said quietly. _She doesn't deserve this. I'm going to hurt her all over again. _He took a calming breath and let it out slowly before he said what he had to say. "Mom, I've worked out who Eddie is." _There, I said it. It's out. _

"Oh," Bella said simply, raising her eyebrows. "Oh!"

A moment's silence settled on the table. Dan broke it.

"Is that all you've got to say?"

Bella raised one hand and gestured with a finger, asking him to give her a minute. "Just give me a second here, love. I wasn't expecting that. My mind was on a different track altogether."

Dan did as she asked. He gave her time to collect her thoughts.

Finally she spoke. "When did you find out? How did you find him?" she asked quickly, her mind on a completely different spin now.

"I've been researching on the Net, looking for him since we last spoke about him."

"How long have you known?"

"A while."

"How long is 'a while', Dan?" Bella asked, her tone indicating her impatience with his vague answer.

"A couple of weeks, that's all."

"That's all…" Bella's voice trailed off.

Dan stayed quiet. He could see a myriad of thoughts and emotions reflected in her face. He'd seen a lot of that kind of thing lately.

"What's his name?"

"Edward Cullen."

"OK, then. Well, you have a name. That's a good thing, I suppose," Bella said slowly, looking away from him and coming to terms with what he'd just said. _Edward Cullen. Eddie. Makes sense he would be an Edward. _"And you're sure that this Edward Cullen is your father?"

"Yes. I'm sure," he answered briefly before adding, "there's more, Mom."

Bella looked up quickly at Dan. "What do you mean, 'there's more'?"

Dan took another deep breath before continuing, uttering three words that would change the tone of their conversation. "I've met him."

"You've what?" Bella exclaimed, her face displaying her confusion and shock.

"I've met him."

"When? Where?"

"In L.A. this past weekend."

"I don't believe this," Bella said, getting up abruptly from the table and walking across to the other side of the kitchen.

Dan reacted as well, standing and following his mother. "Mom, I didn't--."

"Don't!" she said fiercely, holding up her hands effectively stopping Dan from coming any closer.

"Mom, I didn't know--," he tried again, but just as before, Bella cut him off.

"Don't!" she said again, even louder this time.

Dan stopped. He stood opposite her in the kitchen with anguish written on his face and distress in his eyes. He felt like pulling his hair out as he waited for her to speak.

Bella leaned back heavily against the counter. Now that Dan had stopped his advance, she could start to think a little. "Do you mean to tell me," she started, her voice strong and holding an undercurrent of anger, "that you not only knew who he was before you left, but that you arranged to meet with him without even bothering to tell me about it?"

"That's not how it happened, Mom. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Please, let me explain things."

Bella looked at her son, all six foot, two inches of him. She was able to see the distress behind his eyes which helped to center her and manage her own responses somewhat.

"Alright, Dan. Let's talk. It sounds like it's about time we do that."

"Would you like to sit down, Mom? Maybe in the living room?"

"I'm fine here, thanks."

Dan flinched at those words. They were too similar to what he had heard just a few days before.

"Right. Well, where do I start?"

"With the truth," his mother suggested, her tone letting him know that she was none too happy that he had withheld information from her.

"OK. Well," Dan struggled with where to begin.

"The truth, Dan," Bella said again.

Dan was hurt by this. She was assuming that he had lied to her about this. He hadn't lied; he'd just omitted to tell her things. That wasn't lying, was it?

Bella was impatient with Dan's delay, so she began to ask him questions.

"How did you find out who he was?"

"I used the information you gave me, his nickname and the band name, and searched Google."

"It was as simple as that?"

"Time-consuming," he clarified, "but essentially…yes."

"How did you find out where he lived?"

"I didn't, exactly."

"But you've met him."

"That was…unplanned."

"How so?"

"I'll get to that bit."

"Well, then, hurry it up." Bella was done with waiting.

"Alright!" Dan said, letting his own frustration show. "Please, Mom. Can't we just sit down? Please?"

"Fine."

Bella went to move out of the kitchen but halted because Dan was blocking her path. She looked up at him with a black look, and he quickly stepped aside, allowing her to pass. He followed her out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Right, Dan. I'm seated. So, spill. What's the story?" Dan recognised that tone of voice. It was the one she used when she had to reprimand one of her students at school. She'd used it on him occasionally, but not for many years.

"I'd found out Edward's name a couple of weeks before I left to go visit Cassie," he said covering old ground. "I hadn't said anything to you about it because I wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue it any further than that."

"Why not?"

"Because of this," he told her honestly, gesturing between the two of them. "Because of what it would do to you if I did."

"But you obviously have, so what changed?"

"Mom, I didn't pursue this. It was as big a shock for me to meet him as it is for you to find out about it."

"I doubt that."

"It's true."

Bella's eyes narrowed, but she said nothing.

"I'd decided that I wanted to talk it through with Cassie – try to work out what I wanted to do."

"Did Cassie know about this?"

"Then? No. Now? Yes."

"I don't understand."

"I'm trying to explain things, Mom. You've gotta give me the chance."

Bella closed her eyes and nodded her head. "I'm sorry," she said, opening her eyes. I'll try to stay quiet. Go on. Tell me the rest of it."

"I hadn't told Cassie anything either. I was planning to get away with her over the weekend to try and work through it all. She didn't know anything at all about it. Not until it all blew up in our faces, anyway."

"Blew up in your faces?" Bella said, repeating his words without really processing them.

Dan looked at her with exasperation.

"Sorry. Sorry," Bella apologised, waving her hands quickly in front of her.

"Cassie and Jasper picked me up from the airport. We got back to her place, and her family started to arrive a couple of hours after that. Pretty soon, nearly everyone was there – Rosalie and her husband Emmett, and Cassie's grandparents, Esmé and Carlisle. We were all getting ready for lunch, but there was one more person still to arrive." Dan took a deep breath now. Bella's reaction to this wasn't going to be good. "It was Edward, Mom. Edward came to Thanksgiving. He's Cassie's uncle."

"He's what? Oh my God. Dan! He's Cassie's uncle? Oh my God."

Bella was on her feet again. She began pacing around the room her hands pressed together covering her mouth and nose.

"Dan! You and Cassie! He's her uncle!" Bella turned to face him. She couldn't contain her thoughts. They just spilled out of her mouth. It was too much for her brain to comprehend.

Dan understood this better than she knew.

"Mom, please. Calm down. Let me explain."

"You're related! What's to explain? Oh my God," she said again, burying her face in her hands as she leaned against the arm of the sofa.

"Mom, please," Dan said loudly, strongly. He got her attention. "It's a long story. You have to listen to me. I'll explain it all, but you've got to listen to me. Please, Mom. Come and sit down. I'll tell you everything, please."

Ever so slowly, Bella lifted her face to look at her son. She could see the anguish in his eyes and the silent plea behind them begging her to listen to what he had to say. She acquiesced, rising to come around and sit on the sofa again. Dan was a good kid; she knew that. She looked into her son's eyes and knew that she had to trust him just like she always had. She needed to give him the chance to explain everything.

"OK, Dan. I'm listening."

So Dan talked. He told her blow by blow, step by step, what happened at Thanksgiving. He did, however, leave out Cassie and his private moments from the beach and the den. Bella didn't need to know that.

For the most part, Bella had sat there listening quietly and saying very little. There were times when she'd brush away an escaped tear as she listened to Dan's heartbreaking story – his vomiting in the garden, his distress when the thought he had lost Cassie and their relief when he was told that Edward was adopted and that they weren't actually blood related. She'd listened as he talked about how Edward had left the house only to return the next day.

As they continued to talk, Dan was starting to feel a little relieved. Bella no longer seemed angry. She was openly upset when Dan had expressed his own distress, and he was relieved to see her cry, knowing that she was feeling his pain. He believed that she was beginning to understand that this was something he hadn't planned on happening; that it was something he hadn't expected to happen.

Bella had eventually asked about Cassie's reactions and that of her family's, as well as about how he'd felt being so alone and in such turmoil. Dan began to feel that maybe, just maybe, bringing Bella up to speed with events wouldn't be as bad as what he had thought.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

As he'd continued to tell his story, he had begun to relax a little. The tension between him and his mother had been getting to Dan. Their relationship wasn't usually like that, and it was unfamiliar territory for them both. Dan had been telling Bella about his car trip with Edward on Friday. His relief at getting the story out caused him to ask a question that definitely could have been worded a little more sensitively. He was relaying their conversation from the hotel, when it seemed that within seconds he and Bella were back to square one.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that you'd left him a note, Mom?"

"Left him a note?" Bella repeated. Her mind was in a whirl. "I…," she started, her voice trailing off.

"He showed me a note you left him, Mom. That morning you took off from his room. It was definitely your note, Mom. You signed the "B" the same way you do now."

"I'd forgotten all about leaving him a note," Bella whispered quietly.

"Well he hasn't. He's still got it."

Bella looked at Dan, trying to process what he was telling her.

"He still has it?"

"Yes."

"You saw it?"

"Yes. Do you remember writing it?"

Bella shook her head just slightly. "I do now, but I had forgotten all about it."

"Seems like a pretty big thing to forget."

Bella looked up sharply into Dan's face.

"I was young, hung over and disgusted with myself, Dan. I had my mind on other things, like getting the hell out of there."

"But you still wrote it."

"Yes, I wrote it. I tried to say I was sorry."

"He was the one who took your virginity."

Bella reacted as if she'd been slapped.

"Yes, but I was the one stupid enough to allow it happen."

"You aren't the only one to have regrets about that night, Mom."

"Oh, what? He has regrets does he? That's nice to know," she said sarcastically.

"His life changed as a result of that night, too, you know."

"Oh, his life changed did it?" Something in Bella had snapped when she'd heard those words. Without a moment's hesitation she unleashed a tirade at her son. "He fell pregnant at eighteen, did he? He had to give up his dream of going home to start college and come to terms having everyone think you were some loose trollop who went behind daddy's back and slept with a string of guys on holiday and wound up pregnant, did he? I'm so glad to know that his life changed, too. What? Did he go celibate for a year and stop banging groupies to ease his conscience?"

Dan stood there, listening to his mother's sudden outburst, too stunned to reply.

"And I suppose he walked around with all the town gossips whispering behind his back, and his own father refusing to speak with him or even sit at the table with him for months on end. Yeah, I'm sure his life changed, big time. Did he make a shopping list with "condoms" on it, did he?"

"Mom, I…"

"You know what, Dan? You've met this guy – a grown man with a sad story to tell about how he got blind drunk one night and screwed some poor little groupie. Now, he finds out that he has a fully-grown son he knew nothing about, and I bet you he's tried to make you feel all sorry for him. Is that what's happened? You feel bad for him?"

Dan was at a loss as to what to say. He was hearing lots of things for the first time, and he was beginning to understand that he wasn't the only one to have kept some things secret here.

"Mom, you've never said anything about any of this before."

"Yeah, well, some things you just want to be able to leave in the past where they should stay, Dan. It doesn't do anyone any good to dredge them up again. The past is the past. Talking about it won't change what happened," she said dismissively, gesturing with a flick of her hand to reinforce the message.

"They could have been, though."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why didn't you go looking for him all those years ago? Things could have been so different if you'd just found him and told him."

"What?" she shrieked at him, her anger well and truly taking hold. "Is that what he told you? It could have all been so different if only he'd known. What? He would have married me? I would have fallen madly in love with him and we would have ridden off into the sunset together, guitar slung over shoulder? Not very damned likely. We would have ended up as one of those teenage statistics that everyone reads about –young, married, kid, no job, and no real income – no way. I made the choices I did to protect the both of us – you and me, Dan, not him. I worked very damned hard to make something out of our lives, something we could both be proud of."

"I know you did, Mom but that's my point," Dan challenged her. "_You_ made the choices. _You_ made the decisions. But don't you see? _Your_ choices affected more than just you and me, Mom. They affected him, too, and he didn't even know about it. He had no choice."

"He had a choice," she said. "He could have chosen not to have sex with teenage groupies."

"And you could have chosen not to have sex with random band members."

He didn't see it coming. He only felt its sting. Bella slapped him. Hard. His cheek burned from its impact.

Bella froze. She'd never hit Dan before. Ever.

She gasped when she realised what she'd done. Her hands flew to her mouth; her eyes were wide with shock. She looked aghast at her son.

His eyes bore into hers - his emotional pain all too evident. He didn't utter a word or make a move.

"Dan, I'm so sorry," Bella whispered.

Dan didn't respond.

"Please, Dan. This is just too much to take in. I wasn't ready for this."

"None of us have been, Mom. But we've all handled it as best we can, just the same."

"I don't know what to think. "

"His life changed, Mom. You and that night have had a big influence on his life. He wants to meet you," Dan said, surprised by the calmness in his voice. "He wants to come out this weekend and meet you."

"Oh, Dan. I can't. I just can't," Bella said, turning her back to him and walking toward the kitchen.

Dan followed her.

"You'll have to meet him, Mom. Cassie and I aren't going to go away. We're together for the long haul. I plan to marry her one day. She'll be my wife. What then? He's part of her family. You won't be able to avoid him," he pressed harder, willing his mother to understand the complexities involved.

"Why are you doing this, Dan?" Bella asked him, her personal pain all too evident. "Why?"

"Because this is no longer just about you and your choices, Mom. This is about all of us. It always has been, but you've never recognised it. He's my father. Edward's my father. The tests have confirmed it."

Bella looked at him quickly. "Tests?"

"Yes. Carlisle organised DNA tests while I was there. The results came back today."

Bella stood silently in the kitchen, her mind reeling from everything she was learning. She felt completely overwhelmed and completely lost.

"I want to get to know him, Mom. I want him to know, me. To know _us_ – you _and_ me. This is our future we're talking about here, Mom."

"But it's _my_ past that's coming back to haunt me, Dan. What's in the past should stay in the past. That's where it belongs. I've worked too hard for too long to have it define who I am now. _My_ future will be formed from what _I_ choose to do with _my_ life. That choice isn't _his_ to make. It's mine and mine alone. _Not his; never his_."

"But what about what_ I_ want, Mom. What about _my_ choices for _my_ future, and what about how they will impact on you? 'Cause they will, you know."

"I don't know. I have no idea."

"This is _my_ future we're talking about here, Mom."

"And it's _my_ past, Dan."

Dan and Bella stood in the kitchen, staring at each other. The silence lingered. It had been a long time since they'd been unable to come to an understanding during a disagreement.

Without a word, Dan spun on his heel and walked away towards the back of the house.

"Dan. Stop. Don't leave. I'm sorry."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm going to get something," he said over his shoulder as he continued walking towards the back of the house.

Bella followed Dan out into the hallway and watched from the kitchen doorway as he bent and began to rummage through his bags where he'd left them by the back door. Remembering that what he was searching for wasn't there, he stood and began shoving his feet roughly into his shoes.

"It's snowing out," Bella said quietly.

"I'll be back in a minute."

Without another word or even a glance in her direction, Dan wrenched open the back door and stomped off down the stairs and out towards his car parked in the garage. Meanwhile, Bella returned to the kitchen and sat at the small table, their dinner plates still where they had left them earlier.

A minute or so later, Dan returned to the kitchen. He wordlessly walked over to where his mother was sitting and placed an envelope on the table in front of her.

"What's this?" she asked.

"It's a letter."

"From whom?"

"Edward," Dan answered. His words were short and clipped.

"Why has he written me a letter?" Bella asked anxiously.

"Read it and find out."

"Do you know what's in it?"

"I haven't read it, but, yes, he told me what he wrote."

"Well, why did he bother then? Why couldn't he just have you tell me what he wanted to say?"

"Mom," Dan began, his voice tired, his patience frayed. "He wrote this letter seventeen years ago. Take a look…it's unopened. He told me what he remembers is in it."

"Seventeen years ago?" Bella repeated incredulously, and then, quietly as if to herself, "why would he write me a letter seventeen years ago?"

"Again, Mom. Read it for yourself and find out. He's a decent guy, and whether you like it or not, he wants to see you – this weekend."

"I don't think I'm ready for that, Dan," Bella said warily. "I don't think I can do that."

"Read the letter, Mom. You might change your mind."

"I don't see how," Bella said, staring at the envelope on the table in front of her.

Dan regarded his mother from his position near the doorway.

"You know? I can't make you read it. That decision is yours. But you need to understand one thing. Your life, our lives, yours and mine," he said, gesturing between the two of them, "weren't the only ones that were changed by that night twenty-two years ago. His did, too. Not in the way yours did, but it changed. That letter will go a long way to explaining things – that is, if you're brave enough to read it."

That was a low blow, and Dan knew it. If his mother was anything, she was brave – and proud.

"I'm going to bed," he said, watching her as she continued to stare at the envelope. "I've had one hell of an emotional weekend and not much sleep. I'm tired. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

Dan left Bella sitting alone in the kitchen. He was well and truly over the emotional rollercoaster of the past few days. His body ached from fatigue. His head hurt and his face was still tender from Bella's slap. He'd had enough and wanted to retreat to his own room and escape from the disaster that the evening had turned into. He'd suspected all along that Bella wouldn't take the news well. He'd understood that she'd probably feel ambushed by these turn of events, but the truth was that he was more than a little annoyed, too. He needed a break from all the turmoil and didn't want to have to deal with it anymore at this point.

He went to his room and collapsed on his bed. He only then remembered that he'd left his toiletries in his bags downstairs_. Too bad_, he thought. He pulled out his cell phone and texted Cassie letting her know he would talk to her in the morning from the car on his way to work. He was even too tired to speak to her tonight. He felt like he just wanted to stretch out and lick his wounds from his encounter with his mother. Moments later, his cell phone chimed and he looked at the screen.

_Rough night, huh? I love you. Sending you hugs. Talk to you in the morning. Cxx_

_Rough night. That sure was one word for it,_ he thought.

Dan didn't know when he'd fallen asleep, but he was awakened by a light tapping on his bedroom door. He pulled himself off his bed, noting that he was still fully dressed and that the light was on. It was two a.m. according to the clock radio on his dresser. He crossed the room and opened the door.

Bella stood there, her face tear stained and her eyes red. The letter from Edward was in her hand.

"Tell him, I'll see him this weekend," she said quietly. "Goodnight, Dan," she added before she turned and crossed the hall to her own room.

"Goodnight, Mom," Dan said, just as quietly. He watched her go before closing his own door and returning to his bed. He lay on his back with his hands tucked behind his head and crossed his ankles. Suddenly, he was wide awake.

_So, Einstein. How are you going to pull this one off?_ he thought. _Thanksgiving's going to seem like a walk in the park compared to this._

* * *

Thanks to my awesome foursome, the great people who are reviewing and to everyone who is reading.

Now, speaking of reviews? How about you leave one? What did you think? Everyone's got a lot to deal with, don't you think?


	22. Chapter 22

Twi characters aren't mine – everything else is. I know of another author who this week had a story copied and pasted elsewhere. If you see that happening to this or any other fic – please report it. It's theft and it's wrong.

* * *

**Chapter 22 – Making a choice**

_Dear Mystery B_

_I am getting married today. I should be finishing my vows, but the words just won't come. I've sat here for what seems like hours, but I can't seem to get them just right._

_I think I know why. I need to let you go. _

_You, My Mysterious B, have influenced my life for many years. I would never have found Tanya without your help._

_You made me choose to be a better person._

_That morning after…the next day…I woke up and couldn't make sense of a thing. It wasn't until an hour or so after I woke that I began to realise what had happened._

_I was disgusted with myself. I went for a walk at the beach along the rocks, you know. I had your note. I couldn't remember much, but what I did remember, the flashes as they were, made me cringe._

_I have no idea who you are, but you changed my life that day. The words you wrote were so simple, so plain. They changed me like nothing else could have._

_I am a better person today, because of what you wrote then. I have what I have today, because of what you made me realise._

_I am so sorry that I did that to you. I took something from you that wasn't mine to take. It should have belonged to someone you loved. Someone you trusted. That wasn't me, and I am so sorry for that._

_I kept your note, you know. I've carried it in my wallet every single day since then. Now, five years later, I have to let it go – put it away – put you away._

_Today, I marry the girl of my dreams. I have you to thank for that. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and the message you left me. You spoke about yourself, but it was as if the words were written by me, about me. _

_I am a different person now. Thank you. You have given me a chance for a wonderful future. I hope the same has happened for you._

_I looked for you, the next day. I asked around. I had my friends look out for you. You were nowhere to be found._

_I wanted to say sorry to you then. I didn't. I am saying it now. _

_Sorry, and thank you. My future wouldn't be the same without you._

_My heart belongs to Tanya. I promise her that later today. _

_You will always remain a part of my memories, but you can't be a part of my future. You are a part of a past that I must let go of now._

_But I needed to say, thanks. I wanted to say thanks. So, now it's done._

_Goodbye, Mystery B._

_Edward_

Bella was lying in her bed on her side facing the window with her back to the bedroom door. She had just finished reading the letter for the umpteenth time. She was curled into a ball with her knees pulled to her chest and Edward's letter still in her hands. It was funny how she had come to think of him as Edward now and not Eddie.

She wiped fresh tears from her cheeks as her eyes once again trailed over the words written on the page in front of her. The words were coming in and out of focus amidst her tears.

She glanced briefly at the clock on her side table. It was seven a.m. She'd phoned her vice principal twenty minutes earlier to let him know that she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be in for work today. He had accepted her explanation without question, because during the time Bella had worked there, she had rarely taken sick leave. Her integrity was without question.

Lost in thought as she was, Bella didn't hear Dan's light tapping on her bedroom door. She was startled to hear him speak as he quietly entered the room.

"Mom?"

Bella rolled slightly in response to the sound of his voice.

"Morning, love," she said quietly.

Dan was taken aback for a number of reasons. His mother looked like she hadn't slept at all during the night. Her eyes were puffy, and her cheeks slightly swollen. It was also unusual for Bella to still be in bed at seven a.m. on a work day.

"Are you OK?" he asked, walking into her room to stand next to the bed. The answer to his question was obvious, but he asked it anyway.

"I've been better," she answered simply, "but I'll be fine. I just need a day to myself that's all."

"You're not going in to work?"

"Not today. I've called Brad, and they'll take care of things from their end. I'll have a day at home, which I think is best for today."

"Can I get you a cup of tea?"

"That would be nice, love. Thanks."

Dan nodded his head but didn't make a move. He stood and looked carefully at his mother with concern for her written all over his face.

"I'll be fine, love. Don't worry about me," Bella said, sitting up in bed and pulling the covers around her. "I just need a day to catch up on some sleep," she said, trying to sound reassuring.

Dan saw the pages of what he assumed to be Edward's letter next to Bella on the bed. His eyes drifted to them and then back to his mother. She watched his gaze but said nothing.

"Mom," Dan started, unsure how to proceed.

"I'm fine," Bella said, watching him. "Or at least, I will be," she clarified. "Rough night," she said, tipping her head towards the letter.

"I'm sorry that the letter hurt you so much," Dan said. "I had no idea it would be so upsetting to you. From what Edward told me, it was a thank you and a goodbye. I thought it would help you to understand that his life had changed, too, after…" he let his voice trail off as a frown formed on his face…"I would have never given it to you if I thought it would upset you so much."

"No, Dan. Please. It was good that you gave me this letter. It's…" Bella's own voice faded away. She was unsure how to explain the effect it had on her. She tried again. "It's given me food for thought."

Dan looked to the letter again. "What did it say?"

Bella paused, reaching over to pick up the letter before folding it and putting it on her side table. "I'll show you one day, I promise. Just not today, OK?"

Dan pulled his lips into a tight line and nodded his head, but said nothing.

"There's nothing bad in it, Dan. Quite the opposite, actually. It's an emotional read."

"I'll get you that cup of tea," Dan said, turning to move out of the room.

"Dan, wait."

The tone in Bella's voice made Dan turn to face her immediately.

"I'm sorry for what I did last night. For what I said. It was just ..."

"A shock," Dan finished for her. "I know," he said, not looking into her eyes. "You have no idea how many times I tried to start that conversation in my own mind. How hard I tried to find some way to tell you without it being so…shocking."

"I still shouldn't have…," again Bella's words trailed away. Even now, she was appalled by her own behaviour but couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"Mom, it's OK."

"No, Dan. It's not. I'm sorry."

Dan crossed the floor to her bedside and leant down to kiss her softly on the top of her head. He never considered such a token of affection as weird. He had grown so quickly as a youngster that kissing her hair on the top of her head rather than her cheek had become habit. He was so tall, and she was just so little.

"It's OK, Mom. I'm sorry, too, for all of it."

"This isn't your fault, Dan. This was unavoidable. I see that now. Well, not exactly _this_ scenario. I should've expected that you'd find your father at some point," she paused, admitting as such to him was easier this morning than it was last night. "I shouldn't have felt so blindsided by it."

"We've all been blindsided by this. Nobody expected _any_ of it. It's definitely a unique situation," Dan offered with a brief smile.

"Dan, what you said about you and Cassie last night," Bella began.

"Yes?"

"Do you really want to marry her?"

"Yes, Mom," he confirmed. "I haven't spoken to her about it directly, yet, but I know that's where I'm hoping this will go. I love her, Mom. She means everything to me. She's my one."

Bella smiled gently at her son. "That's got to be a pretty big head spin for you, then."

"Not really. It just feels right – natural. It's like it's the only way to be for me now. I don't see my future without her. I see everything I want, and she's in it. I can't imagine it any other way."

"I'm happy for you."

Dan looked at his mother, unsure how to interpret the tone of her last words.

"Thanks, Mom, but what is it that you're not saying?"

Bella's forehead creased slightly. "I just don't want this to have to be any harder for you than it already is, love. You already have the whole distance thing working against you, and now this," she said, picking up the letter and waving it softly in her hand. "I can't imagine how you two are managing to deal with it and what Cassie's family thinks of it all," _including what they think about me_, she added in her thoughts without saying them aloud.

"Everyone was pretty great, really, all things considered," Dan said. "It was awkward and weird at times, but overall, nothing we couldn't deal with. After the initial shock of it all wore off and Cassie and I got to talk, I was a bit calmer about things. When she said that we'd work through this together, it was like I could handle things again," he said, "but I told you all this last night." With a sudden moment of clarity, he realised what his mother was getting at without saying it. He moved to sit next to her on her bed.

"Mom, I didn't tell them anything much about you. In fact, I told them nothing at all, really. I told them that it was your story to tell, and that was that. They respected that and didn't ask anything more."

"Oh, Dan, I've met some of these people. This is just so embarrassing."

"No, Mom. Don't feel like that. Alice and Rosalie speak quite highly of you." Dan didn't let on that Rosalie had suggested some quite uncomplimentary things at one point. Bella didn't need to know that. "They were all rather impressed, if I must say so," Dan's voice taking on a tone of self-importance. "They all said that I was a lovely young man and that you have done a wonderful job raising me," he continued, pulling himself up to a sitting position with his thumbs pulling at imaginary suspenders.

"Oh, go on with you," Bella said, playfully pushing him away.

"True. Emmett was even giving me tips on how to manage a Cullen woman. He even called me a 'poor unsuspecting bastard' at one point," Dan said, but when he looked at the shock on Bella's face, he quickly clarified, "but that was before any you-know-what hit the fan."

"He sounds like he has a sense of humour."

"He does, and Carlisle and Esmé are really nice. Carlisle is a very calm and gentle man. I don't think the weekend would have ended up the way it did without his influence."

"I'm glad he was there to help, then," Bella said, her voice wistful and a little sad.

"Mom, this will work out. I know it will," Dan said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Dan, you haven't said much about Edward. How did he respond to all of this?"

"Honestly, at one point it could have gone either way, but I believe he really is a good guy, Mom. I really didn't want to like him much. I was pretty rude and nasty to him at first, but things changed over the course of the weekend. We began to connect a bit. I think he does just want to get to know us."

"Hmmm," Bella sighed and looked down at her quilt, picking at the stitching.

"He's not coming out to cause problems, Mom. He said he just wants to meet you."

"Does he remember me at all?" Bella asked timidly.

Dan shook his head slowly as sadness filled his eyes.

"No, Mom. He doesn't. He remembers bits and pieces about afterward but not much more. Quite like yourself, actually."

Bella said nothing as tears welled up behind her eyes again. She blinked rapidly trying to disperse them, but it didn't work. She sniffled a little as they spilled over on to her cheeks.

"Oh, Mom. Please don't cry," Dan said, reaching for her and pulling her into a hug trying to comfort her.

Bella buried her head in her son's chest and wept silent tears. Her fists closed into balls against her mouth, muffling the sounds that tried to escape.

Dan was upset at the pain he had brought on his mother as he sat there holding her.

"Mom, I am just so sorry," he started again moments later.

"No. No, Dan. Don't you say sorry anymore. This had to happen. I believe it was meant to be," she said, pulling herself upright and wiping her tears away. She looked intently at her son. She didn't want him to blame himself for this. That wasn't right.

"You and Cassie met for a reason. You went to Australia, and out of all the people in the world you could have met, you met her. And then, you fell in love. I have to believe all these things have happened for a reason. I believe that this was meant to be," she said, explaining her thoughts. "Love and happiness are a choice, Dan," Bella continued.

Dan nodded his head. Those exact words were penned in a wall hanging in the kitchen downstairs. "Leo Buscaglia," he said, acknowledging the quote.

"That's right. I have always believed that. No matter the circumstances, I have always believed that happiness and love are there for the choosing." That quote had become Bella's own personal mantra years ago after she read it in a book of quotes her mother had given her not long after Dan was born. "I may not have always made the right choices in life, but I have always chosen my own path. I have never wanted to become a victim of others' choices. You, my dear boy, are the best thing that I ever chosen to do. You have made my life better is so many ways. You are my prize, Dan. You know that."

Too emotional to respond verbally, Dan lowered his eyes and nodded his head.

"So," Bella continued, "I'll just have to suck it up and work my way through all of this. For heaven's sake, I had sex with the man. Meeting him should be a walk in the park," she joked, rolling her eyes and trying to make light of their situation.

Dan laughed aloud, albeit a little awkwardly. He was shocked and a little embarrassed by his mother's admission.

"Go to work already," she said, smiling at him and slapping him gently on the shoulder. "We can talk some more tonight if you like. I know after a day of stewing on things, I'll probably have a lot more questions to bombard you with tonight."

"Are you going to sit here and stew all day?" Dan asked, concerned.

"No, it was just a turn of phrase, love," Bella said gently. "I might give Jess a call for a chat, and I do have a lot of thinking to do. I've got to try and calm myself down. The idea of meeting Edward again after all this time is just…" she left her sentence unfinished and used her hands to suggest what her words couldn't.

"I'll be right here, Mom. You won't be doing this alone."

"I know, love. Thanks," she said, squeezing his hand and exchanging a heartfelt look. "But now, this isn't getting you off to work," she said, the moment between the two of them broken.

"I'll make you that cup of tea, first."

"No need," she said dismissively. "I'm getting up anyway. You go or you'll be late."

"I suppose," Dan conceded, relieved to hear Bella's voice begin to return to normal. "The roads will be a bit slippery this morning. By the way, I shovelled the drive," he said, pushing off from the bed. "Just be careful if you head out today."

"Thanks, love, but I don't plan on heading anywhere today. Home's good for me, I think."

"Alright. I'll see you tonight, then."

"OK. Drive carefully."

"Will do. Bye, Mom."

"Bye, love."

Dan cast his mother one last look before he headed out her bedroom door and down the hallway. Bella watched him go before flopping back against her pillows and looking out her window. There was a light snow falling again, and as she watched the flakes flutter past her window on the breeze, she wondered what her first words to Edward might be when she finally met him again Friday night. _Hello, again. Long time no see _didn't seem quite appropriate.

* * *

**A/N:**

Edward wrote his letter to his Mystery B at two a.m. in the morning on the day he was due to marry Tanya. It's not perfect in any way, shape or form, but then again, he never intended it to be read by anyone – so what did it matter if it was horribly structured and out of sequence?

Thanks to my awesome foursome; Sunfeathers for her continued help and for a few other lovelies who have PM'ed me or emailed me with helpful links and kind words.

I don't have a regular posting schedule because my life doesn't work like that (I wish it would). Thanks for sticking with me. It is a busy time of year here at the moment and my kids are all about to start summer holidays – so it might be a little longer than usual between updates. I promise you, I am working as hard as I can to get chapters to you as soon as I can, but 5 kids, major home renovations and school holidays are all eating into my writing time - severely.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. The last chapter had the highest review count of any chapter so far. I haven't responded to any of those reviews yet (sorry!) because real life has been kicking my butt – but I will, I promise.

Next chapter – Edward and Bella meet…


	23. Chapter 23

Welcome back readers. Here is the chapter all of you have been waiting for.

More AN's at the end.

* * *

**Chapter 23 – Coming Face to Face**

Bella spent most of the days prior to Edward's intended arrival keeping to her usual routine, finding sanctuary in her day-to-day rituals and habits.

She had taken Tuesday off work and used the morning to collect her thoughts and come to terms with all she had learnt the evening before. She'd stayed in her pajamas most of the morning, puttering around the kitchen and reading Edward's letter again and again. She'd cried more tears and had begun to wonder if they would ever stop. She'd also pulled down some of her older photo albums and looked back over Dan's baby pictures and his school photos. Bella had realised that these photographs and precious memories were no longer her property alone. She now had someone with whom she would have to share them. That thought and the uncertainty it brought with it had resulted in a fresh round of tears.

Sharing Dan with his father had never been something she'd ever really considered. Dan's father had always been more of an abstract idea rather than a real person in her mind. Over time, he'd become a nameless, faceless persona. Bella had honestly believed at the time that she had done the right thing in protecting herself and her unborn child by refusing to reveal to anyone the details surrounding his conception.

Bella had finally called Jessica that day just before lunch time to tell that Dan had been searching for and found his father, and shared that she was struggling to come to terms with it. While Bella had gone to shower and make herself presentable for company, Jess had told Mike that she was going to take the rest of the day off work because Bella had called saying that she'd received some shocking news and needed to talk. Mike had no idea what was going on but had learnt long ago that thwarting girl time was never in his best interests. Besides, Jess being out of the shop was going to work out well for him. He still hadn't completed the inventory of the tackle stores out back, and an afternoon without Jess at the store meant that she wasn't going to hound him if he didn't get it done today.

Jess had spent the afternoon listening to Bella's story, and for the first time in her life, Bella didn't hold much back. She shared more about herself and her story with Jess that afternoon than she had ever shared with anyone – from her ill-fated trip to Long Beach and finding out she was pregnant to the aftermath of her decision to keep the baby.

For Bella, it was a cathartic experience. Never before had she been so open and honest about herself and her experiences. For many reasons, Bella had never shared her story and now she found that she needed someone to understand just how hard she had fought for a future for herself and her son. She'd felt a weight lift from her shoulders as she talked. She'd finally let somebody in. Despite the experiences from her youth, she'd found doing so didn't bring pain and righteous judgement upon her, but rather sympathy, admiration and support.

For her part, Jess was a sympathetic listener. She herself had no idea just how much of Bella's past she had never known and never understood. Jessica was amazed by not only how resilient Bella had been in the face of such conjecture and isolation amid the small town, but also how determined she had been to ensure that she and Dan would have a productive future. Jess was in awe of her friend, and she'd provided a comforting shoulder, plenty of coffee and even the odd glass of wine as the afternoon as Bella's story unfolded.

When Dan had phoned on his way home to let Bella know that he would be picking up takeout for dinner that night, Jess had used that as her cue to leave. She'd phoned Mike earlier to ensure that he could pick the kids up from school, and again, Mike hadn't complained or bemoaned the change to the afternoon's routine. He'd played the role of supportive husband and friend with finesse, but then again, he had his own motivations. He'd hoped that if he played his cards right, maybe he'd get lucky that night.

It had been after 5:30 p.m. by the time Jess had finally left, and after bidding farewell to her at the door, Bella had gone upstairs to freshen up. She hadn't wanted Dan to see the toll that the afternoon had taken on her. While talking with Jess had helped Bella enormously, it had still been an emotionally exhausting journey for her.

Once Dan had arrived home with takeout Thai, he and Bella had sat down in the living room and talked again. Bella learned from Dan that Edward's marriage had ended several years before and that he lived alone on the beach in Long Beach.

Bella didn't go to her regular dancing class that Tuesday night. She'd phoned Steve and told him that she had not gone into work that day and while she was feeling better, she didn't feel up to dancing. Steve had offered to come over and visit with her instead of going to class, but Bella feigned that she thought her ills might be contagious. She didn't really bother to reflect on why she wasn't more straightforward with Steve. After having opened that proverbial can of worms once already today, she didn't feel up to having to go through it all over again. She'd decided that conversation with Steve could and would wait.

Bella had ended up going to bed early that night. She'd told Dan that she was exhausted and needed the sleep, which was the truth. The previous twenty-four hours had really left her feeling weary and emotionally drained, and she had fallen asleep relatively quickly. Bella was surprised when she woke the next morning to a light snow falling again. She had slept heavily and couldn't even remember her dreams, which was a sure sign that she had indeed slept soundly.

The next two days sped by without incident, unless, of course, you counted three pet guinea pigs getting loose in the classroom as an incident. _Why did children insist on bringing pets to school for show and tell?_ Bella wondered as she helped corral them before they managed to escape into the hallway and into the schoolyard. She'd never like guinea pigs. She had nothing against them personally, but she just couldn't see how an animal that looked like an overgrown rat and bred like a rabbit could make a cuddly and responsive pet. Still, several of her students thought they were cute, but she just didn't get it.

Bella did go to her dance class on Thursday evening, and she and Steve had danced the night away with their friends. Steve had noted that Bella seemed to be a little distracted at first and not quite so outgoing as she normally was, but he put it down to her lingering ails. As the night got underway, her ready smile returned and he didn't think any more of it.

They had gone out for coffee and cake as usual, and Steve walked her to her car. He'd kissed her goodnight, promising to call her over the weekend. He had a business dinner to attend Saturday evening, and Bella was grateful that he hadn't asked her to go with him. She'd accompanied him to the occasional work function in the past and had met several of his coworkers. This time, however, there were people coming from all over the U.S., and it was strictly a gentleman's evening. That suited her just fine, especially since she hadn't told Steve about Dan's discovery and Edward's upcoming visit.

Before she knew it, Friday was upon her. She'd woken that morning and had known immediately that something about the day was different. Her heart beat a little faster than it usually did, and her morning cup of tea did little to calm her.

Edward was due to arrive in Manchester around four that afternoon. Dan had arranged to get away from work early to pick him up from the airport. Edward had apparently been quite happy to hire a car, something that Bella would have personally preferred. She didn't like the idea of Edward being dependent upon Dan for transportation over the weekend. Dan, however, had been insistent that Edward had no experience driving in these snowy conditions and felt it would be safer for all concerned if he was to pick him up.

Bella had found it difficult to stay focused on work during the day. It was windy and bitterly cold but hadn't begun to snow, yet. The kids were, to coin a teaching phrase, as high as kites. This basically meant that she spent most of the day trying to control them rather than teach them. Because the children had to stay indoors during the lunch break and due to the additional supervision duties, Bella had missed lunch. _Of all days, it had to be like this today_, Bella mused as she struggled to get the children to settle down after their lunch break. _Where is a nice quiet day when you need one?_

Bella was grateful for some small mercies, though. For one, Edward had booked himself a room at a local hotel in town and wasn't staying with them. Bella had sighed with relief that Dan hadn't expected her to house Edward over the weekend. As it turned out, he wasn't even staying the whole weekend. He was flying to New York City on Sunday around lunch time to attend a meeting concerning a work-related project. Dan had explained to her that Edward wrote music, but he hadn't really gone into much detail. It was during the drive home from work that Bella had realised that Dan had really been pretty vague about Edward's work. _Maybe he didn't really know all that much himself? _Bella had reasoned.

She pulled into her driveway and parked her car in the garage just before four o'clock. Going inside, Bella deposited her school bag just inside the back door and made her way to the kitchen. She looked around her tidy home as she went, realising that there was very little in preparation for their guest. _Guest_, she thought narrowing her eyes as she went to replace the filter in the coffee machine. Was he really a guest? He was Dan's father, but they didn't know each other. She swore under her breath as she made a mess changing the filter – something she had done a hundred times before without a problem.

"Of course, it would happen today," she grumbled aloud, and then swore a little louder this time when she realised she had splattered her clothes in the process and would need to change.

After deciding that she may as well shower since she had to change her clothes, it was a little after four-thirty by the time she made it back downstairs. She decided that maybe, considering it was a Friday afternoon and all, a nice glass of wine to calm her nerves might be advantageous. When she bent to retrieve a bottle of chilled Sauvignon Blanc from the fridge, she heard her cell phone ring from elsewhere in the house.

Cursing for the third time that afternoon, she put her bottle of wine on the counter and set off in search of the phone. Following the sound of the ringtone, she located her bag where she had left it by the back door and began to rummage through it trying to get to the phone before it went to voicemail. No such luck. After an annoyed sigh, Bella took the offending bottomless-pit-of-a-bag back to the kitchen where she proceeded to unpack its contents on the table.

"I seriously need a new bag," she said aloud. _Maybe I'll put it on my Christmas list, _her thoughts continued as she pulled out the bag's contents one after the other.

"Got you," she declared triumphantly when she finally located it. She punched in her voicemail password and cradled the phone to her ear as she began to unceremoniously replace everything in her handbag.

The message was from Dan. He'd collected Edward from the airport, and they were on their way home. Apparently, there was one brief stop they needed to make on the way. He thought, all being right with the traffic, they would be home about five-thirty.

Bella ended the call and placed the phone on the table before crossing the kitchen to her bottle of wine. Pouring herself a glass, she looked briefly at the clock as she leant back against the counter.

_Fifty minutes._ _Fifty minutes before I come face to face with my past and the man who fathered my son and whether I like it or not, a man who is bound to become part of my future._

Bella took a sip of her wine and breathed deeply. She took a second sip and looked out the window.

_You can do this, Bella. Suck it up. Remember why you are doing this. It's important to Dan. You owe him this._

She took yet another sip of her wine.

_Dan wants to marry Cassie, Bella. You're going to have a lot to do with Edward and his family in the future. Get it together, girl. He's seen you naked for god's sake._

Another sip.

_What the hell do I say to him? Hi there. Glad you could stop by. Yeah! A son. Fancy that?_

One more sip.

_Shit. What _do _I say about that? Sorry I never told you. I had no interest in finding you. I thought you would amount to nothing more than a deadbeat musician playing around pubs and clubs for the rest of your life. My life was hell enough without having to be forced to marry you. I thought we would be better off on our own._

Bella turned and leant back against her kitchen sink and took another sip of her wine, emptying the glass.

_Shit. It's empty. Great! Now I'm going to meet him drunk all over again. Shit, shit, double shit. I really need to eat something._

She put the empty wine glass on the counter next to the bottle and walked over to the fridge to get an apple. She moved out into the living room, plopped herself down on the sofa, grabbed the TV remote from the coffee table, and bit into her apple. Bella turned on the TV and started scrolling through the channels, staring at the screen but not really processing what she saw. She stopped and went back a few channels. An old rerun of M.A.S.H. was on.

_That'll do._

As Bella settled in to watch it, she realised that it was the episode where Radar had to sacrifice his bunny rabbit, Fluffy, so that Hawkeye could do a pregnancy test for a panic-stricken Margaret.

_Oh! For the love of all that's holy! Dammit. What have I ever done to the universe that has made the planets align this particular way today for pete's sake? Geebuzz._

Bella again picked up the remote in frustration and continued to channel surf, looking for something completely unpregnancy related to watch.

_F__RIENDS__! Bargain! Oh, that would be right. Cue the commercial break. _

Bella watched the series of commercials, laughing out loud at one with a size one supermodel-like creature splashing about in the waves.

_No, I don't want to run on the beach in a bikini joyous that I have my periods but can wear a tampon. What is this crap? It's winter for heaven's sake. _

She was just about to pick up the remote and change channels again when the show came back on.

_Oh, good. Show's on. No! Shit. Rachel's in labor and Joey's there, and everyone at the hospital thinks he's the father. Fuck me. What's a girl to do? _

"Give me a break already!" Bella yelled into the silence of her home.

Consumed by her thoughts, Bella hadn't heard Dan's car arrive. She hadn't heard him walk up the front stairs or open the door and come inside.

"Mom?"

Bella turned quickly, her eyes wide with shock.

Dan stood at the entrance to the living room. Slightly behind him and to his left stood a man, equally as tall as Dan, with dark ruffled hair that was streaked with wisps of gray. He stood there silently, his eyes focused on her and a slight smile on his lips.

_Oh, hell._

"Oh, goodness. Dan. I didn't hear you come in," Bella uttered quickly, attempting to regain her composure as she stood to face the two men.

Dan stood and looked quizzically at his mother, his eyes questioning her and wondering what the hell was going on.

Bella remained behind the sofa and looked briefly from Dan to Edward. If first impressions counted for anything, Bella would have to admit that Edward cut a fine figure in his heavy wool coat, framed by the doorway to her living room. He was holding a plant in his hands. _Why is he holding a plant?_

"Ah, Mom? Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes. I'm fine, love. Just something on the TV, that's all," Bella responded with a light flick of her hand, trying to cover up her little outburst.

"Right," replied Dan, not at all sounding convinced. "Ah, well. Ah, Mom?" he started, turning slightly to look towards his father. "This is Edward." _Slick, Dan. Real slick, but how exactly do you introduce your parents to each other?_

"Hello, Bella," Edward said, not moving from his position near Dan.

"Hello, Edward." _My goodness that's original._

The two regarded each other in silence for a brief moment.

"How was your flight?" _Oh, keep going girl; you're on a roll. _Bella had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Fine, thanks."

"Did you have to wait long for your luggage?" _Where the hell did that come from?_

"No. I only had a carry-on."

"Oh, good." Bella said, nodding her head. She continued to stand where she was, the sofa separating her from Dan and Edward_. What the hell do I say, now? Dan...__help?_

As if sensing his mother's mental questions, Dan spoke to Edward.

"Let me take your coat, Edward. We have the heater on in here."

Edward broke his gaze from Bella's as he turned to acknowledge Dan. "Yes. That would be great, thanks."

Edward made a move to begin to remove his coat when he realised he still held the flowering cactus plant in his hands.

"Oh, I bought you a plant for your window sill," Edward explained. "It's a flowering cactus. According to the lady at the nursery, it's supposedly indestructible, relatively self-sufficient and produces the most amazing blooms."

"Oh, that's lovely," Bella said from her spot behind the sofa. "That's very thoughtful of you," she continued without moving.

"Here, let me take that," Dan said, taking the plant from Edward while giving his mother another quizzical look.

Spurred into action, Bella moved around the sofa towards Dan and Edward. "No, Dan, let me. I'll take it. It's lovely, Edward. Thank you," she said, briefly making eye contact with him. "I'll just go put it in the kitchen," she said, reaching to take the plant from Dan's hands.

"It's fine, Mom. I've got it."

"No, Dan. Please, I'll take it. I know just where I want it to go. You help Edward with his coat. I'll be back in a moment." With a brief smile at the two men, Bella took the plant from Dan's hands and moved past them towards the kitchen.

Edward and Dan watched her go in silence. Once Bella had left the room, Dan turned to face Edward and raised his eyebrows, his expression thoughtful.

"I'm sorry, Dan. I don't mean to be making her so uncomfortable in her own home. Maybe we should have met again on more neutral territory," Edward said thoughtfully. "Maybe I should just go. I can arrange to see you both again tomorrow."

"No, don't go. She'll be all right," Dan said, meaning to reassure Edward but sounding more hopeful than certain. "Give me your coat, and then I'll go check on her."

Edward hesitated momentarily before shrugging his shoulders and letting his coat slip down his arms. He handed it to Dan. "Are you sure this will be all right with your mother?"

Dan avoided answering Edward's question directly. "I'll go check on her. Make yourself comfortable. I won't be long."

Edward nodded briefly before Dan turned and headed out towards the coat rack in the front hall leaving Edward alone in the living room. Dan hung Edward's coat on a hook and moved quietly down the hall in search of his mother.

Bella had, upon reaching the kitchen, let out a breath that she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She'd crossed over to the counter and closed her eyes, hoping to calm her nerves.

Dan reached the kitchen doorway and stopped when he saw her.

Bella was standing with her back to him. The plant sat on the counter in front of her with her hands on either side of it. She was leaning on them with her head hung forward. He was unable to tell if she was crying, but the sight of her looking so forlorn upset him deeply.

"Mom?" he asked quietly.

Bella quickly adjusted her position. She stood upright and pushed herself away from the counter and over to the sink. She turned on the faucet and began to wash her hands, looking over her shoulder at Dan as she rubbed them vigorously.

"Dan, love. That was a nice thought. Edward bringing a gift. It will look lovely over on the sill here, but I may need to repot it. The pot seems a little too big to sit there without falling off."

"Maybe, but yes, it was nice of him. We stopped off on the way home to pick it up. He'd called ahead apparently and organised it all."

"Well, there you go, " said Bella, turning off the faucet and drying her hands.

"Now, what would you like to eat? I can put together an oven-baked pasta dish if you like. It would be ready in about an hour," she said as she moved across the kitchen and opened the fridge. "Have you offered Edward anything to drink? There's beer in here or wine if he'd prefer. There's something stronger in the cabinet in the dining room if he wants something else."

"Ah, no. I haven't. I'll go ask him what he'd like," he responded, watching his mother randomly grab ingredients from the fridge for their dinner. "Mom," Dan said again, softly. "Why don't you just come in and have a drink with us?"

"Oh, I will. Just let me get dinner started," Bella responded, not looking at him as she continued to collect the things she needed from around the kitchen. "I'll be free as soon as it's in the oven."

"Mom, there's no need, really. We can just get takeout."

"Dan, it's really windy and cold outside. It will probably snow at any moment. You don't want to go out driving around in that. It won't take me long, seriously."

"He just wants to meet you again, Mom. He just wants to get to know us, that's all. He's not here to cause trouble."

Bella stopped. She rested the knife and onion she was just about to start peeling and chopping on the cutting board, and looked up at her son. "I understand that, Dan. I was just surprised when you walked in, that's all. I was a little taken aback. I hadn't realised what the time was, and then all of a sudden, you were there." She returned to the onion, cutting off its top and beginning to peel it. "And he was there. I was just surprised; it's no big deal. Now, why don't you go and get Edward that drink while I get underway here."

Dan looked at his mother working furiously, taking out her emotions on the poor, unsuspecting onion. Without another word, he left the kitchen and joined Edward in the living room. Edward was over by the mantle looking at a small collection of framed photographs there. He turned when he heard Dan enter.

"Can I get you something to drink, Edward?" he asked. "We have beer, wine, or something a little stronger if you'd like."

"Am I the only one drinking?" Edward asked.

"No. I'm going to have a beer. I'll get mom another wine while she's cooking."

"Your mother's cooking?"

"Yes. She's insisting on throwing together a pasta dish. I told her not to worry, but she's adamant it won't take long and she'll join us once she's done."

"No, Dan. I didn't come here for your mother to cook for me."

"I know that," Dan said, acknowledging Edward's comments with a smile, "but I think it's helping her to keep herself busy. We caught her off guard before, apparently."

"I really don't want her slaving in the kitchen for me."

"Maybe you can have more luck convincing her. I suggested takeout, but she dismissed that idea."

"Lead the way," Edward said simply, gesturing with his hand.

Dan smiled tightly and turned, showing Edward the way to the kitchen.

Bella didn't raise her head from her work as she heard Dan enter.

"So, did you find out what Edward wanted to drink?" she asked.

"Bella, I don't want you having to work in the kitchen preparing a meal for us. That's not what I expected you to do when I came here tonight."

Bella stopped her cutting and dicing briefly, glancing up when she heard Edward speak unexpectedly. She'd thought Dan had returned to the kitchen alone.

"Oh, it's no problem, really," she responded, returning to her diligent cutting. "It won't take me long. I'll have it ready in no time."

Dan and Edward exchanged a look, Dan's expression saying, _I told you so._

A few moments of quiet filled the kitchen. The only sound was Bella's cutting knife on the chopping board.

"Well, if that's the case then," Edward said, unbuttoning his cuffs and preparing to roll up his sleeves, "give me a job. I know my way around a kitchen."

"Oh, no. There's no need for that. Just go and have a drink with Dan, and I'll join you shortly."

"No deal. You can't have it both ways, Bella. You either let me help out or we order takeout. I don't want you to think you have to be stuck here alone while Dan and I are exchanging stories in the other room."

Bella hesitated just briefly at Edward's choice of words.

"Dan and I can chat just as easily over a beer and vegetables here in the kitchen as we can in the living room," Edward offered, "and you can be part of that with us. Please, Bella," he said a little more slowly. "Let me be involved."

This time, Bella actually stopped her chopping and rested her hands on the counter, closing her eyes briefly.

Dan looked between his mother and Edward, and back again.

Focusing on her, Dan noticed she had opened her eyes and was looking directly at Edward. Dan watched her exhale while she looked at him. He looked towards Edward who was focusing intently on Bella. He could have sworn there was some kind of silent communication happening between the two of them.

Finally, Bella responded.

"The pasta's got to be put on to boil," she said simply, using a slight nod of her head to indicate the packet of dried pasta sitting on the counter top next to the stove. "The pots are in the drawers over there."

"I'm on it," Edward said, moving across to the drawers she had indicated. "Dan, how about you get us those beers?"

"Shall do," Dan responded, sounding relieved and happy at the one time.

"Pour me another glass of wine, will you, love?" Bella asked.

"Sure thing."

"Bella, do you salt your pasta when it comes to the boil?" Edward asked.

"Just a little. The salt's in the container next to the stove."

"Found it," Edward responded before making his way over to the sink to fill the pot with water. "And thank you, Bella," he continued, "for letting me help."

Bella hesitated just slightly before responding, "You're welcome, Edward."

* * *

AN:

Thanks to Sandyk199, Lalina, FatallyObsessed and Grendel - I haven't used the names of my awesome foursome for so long that it was about time I put their awesomeness out there again.

Thanks also to Sunfeathers, without whom I would be spending hours upon hours researching things suitable for New England - the proverbial needle in a haystack and it would take even longer to get my chapters to you all.

I am still behind on my reviews for ch 22 - please forgive me. I thought getting this chapter to you first was more important. I have had a lot of new readers again, so to all of you, "Hi" and to ILWEC and Patch, your reviews on each every chapter as you read made me smile big time, and Rosie, so glad to see you too!!!

And to DazzledTina, thanks in advance - you know what I mean *wink*

Now, the Bellies and Eddies are on...and this fic won't rate in the scheme of things, but for those of you who follow other stories with larger readerships, get on board and nominate your favourites - I have (for my three awesome authors listed above) and you should too. It's a numbers game and those three authors will have the numbers to get them across the line if you all nominate them (and others). GOOD LUCK PEOPLE!!!


	24. Chapter 24

Hello people. Thanks for coming back.

What Edward was thinking after his evening with Bella?

Here it is.

Thanks to the usual goddesses who help me (that seems like such an understatement!)

* * *

**Ch 24 – Collecting his thoughts**

It was after 10 p.m. by the time Edward finally closed the door to his hotel room. Dan had driven him over after they'd finished dinner at Bella's place. He tossed his overnight bag onto the luggage rack before sitting down on the side of the bed to kick off his shoes. He rested his elbows on his thighs and rubbed his hands over the back of his head as he reflected on the events of the last six hours.

Edward had been a little apprehensive himself about meeting Dan again that afternoon at the airport. When Dan had picked him up, he was relieved to find that Dan seemed comfortable enough. Their conversation in the car on the way to Dan's home flowed easily enough. Dan had filled Edward in on the events of the week, including more details regarding his conversations with Bella about his Thanksgiving weekend in California.

Dan had admitted to Edward that he'd been right about Bella being less than impressed that he hadn't told her about discovering Edward's true name before making that fateful weekend trip to see Cassie. When Edward inquired as to how Bella was dealing with coming face to face with him again, Dan tried to reassure him that she was fine with it, but it didn't escape Edward's notice that Dan didn't make eye contact with him during that part of their conversation. He suspected that reality wouldn't quite match up to Dan's hopes and expectations.

Still, nothing had quite prepared Edward for when he first laid eyes on Bella.

She had been sitting with her back to them watching TV with her head just visible above the top of the sofa. It had been the colour of Bella's hair that had made Edward's breath catch in his throat. One of the few clear mental images he had of that night so many years before had been of long, dark, chestnut hair. Bella's hair was much shorter now and styled in a shiny, sleek bob that finished at the nape of her neck. After the shock of realising that she was no longer alone in the room and she had turned to face them both, Edward had noted that the style suited her nicely. It was the cut of a mature woman. He hadn't realised until that moment, despite Alice having shown him a recent picture of Bella, that he'd still expected to see long, brown, wavy hair when they finally met again.

Edward smiled as he pulled himself upright off the bed and made his way to his bag to retrieve his toiletries. His mind continued to return to those first few moments after Bella had realised they were there. She had seemed to use the sofa as some kind of barricade, keeping her distance from them–from him. Dan had obviously been as perplexed by her behaviour as he had been, because Edward had caught a couple of silent but unmistakably questioning looks from Dan to his mother. It hadn't been until Dan had taken the plant from Edward that Bella had finally moved from behind her protective sofa.

The plant, an "I come in peace" token, was a gesture Alice had suggested he take in order to help break the ice. Edward wasn't all that knowledgeable about plants or flowers. Aside from his mother and sisters, he hadn't had cause to send flowers to any woman for years. He'd been at a complete loss as to what flowers Bella might like, so he had called Alice to ask for advice.

"Don't you think flowers are just a little too clichéd, Edward?" she'd asked him when he'd called. "Why not a plant? Some kind of flowering plant that she can put on her window sill and keep for a while. Of course, that's assuming she has more talent than you with greenery and the like."

"My plants survive quite nicely."

"Edward, your plants survive because you pay someone to keep them alive," Alice had chided him.

"That's not true."

"Really?" she'd challenged him. "Tell me, Mr. Green-thumb, what's the name of the flowering plants out by your back door?"

Edward had paused, trying to remember what the gardener had called them the last time he'd cut them back. "Hydra-thinga-muh-bobs," he'd eventually responded, only to hear Alice's laughter on the other end of the phone line.

"I dare you to go to a nursery and ask for some of those," Alice had quipped.

"You're not helping me, Alice."

Still chuckling, Alice had suggested that he call a local nursery or florist near where Bella lived who would be able to help him find an indoor flowering plant that could survive a cold New England winter.

Muttering to himself, he'd hung up the call and gone in search of just what Alice had suggested, finally finding a florist in Manchester who'd told him that a plant known locally as a Christmas cactus would be just the ticket. He'd arranged for the florist to have a plant ready for him to pick up on the way to Bella's place that Friday afternoon.

If Dan had thought it strange that Edward wanted to stop somewhere on the way home, he hadn't let on. When Edward had returned to the car with the dark-green, flat-pronged, spiked-leaf plant, Dan said nothing aloud but had given Edward one of the questioning looks that he now realised Dan had also given Bella later on that same evening.

Moving into the small but tastefully decorated bathroom, Edward prepared to brush his teeth. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and, for the first time in a long time, actually noticed the streaks of gray at his temples. He turned his face this way and that wondering where else the passage of time was making itself known in his features. He wondered what Bella thought of his appearance after all these years. He knew he had little by which to remember her from his own somewhat fuzzy memories, but he had no idea just what Bella remembered of him. Did he even look similar to his old self? _Old_, he laughed at himself as he rinsed his mouth before wiping his face on the towel hanging next to the basin_. Old. Well, I'm not exactly as young as I used to be, but I'm not over the hill yet either._

Leaving the bathroom and crossing to his bed, he pulled back the covers and climbed in, rearranging the pillows in an attempt to make himself comfortable. He felt tired after the morning's early start and nearly a full day's travel. Still, as he lay in bed tossing and turning, he realised that the anticipation of reconnecting again with the young man who was his son and his concern over meeting his mother again after all these years had left him wired.

Bella.

His mind once again drifted towards their first moments together earlier this evening. When they finally came face to face and had greeted each other, albeit a little awkwardly, he realised that it had been the first time he had said her name aloud since the events had unfolded the weekend before. Hearing the sound of her name rolling off his tongue was quite a moment for him. Seeing her and saying her name aloud brought home to him that Bella was a person in her own right and not just "Dan's mother" as he had come to think of her. This woman―this petite, dark-haired woman―had given birth to the young man that had stood next to him.

It had been a sudden moment of clarity for Edward. He'd known all along that by getting to know Dan, he would need to meet and be on friendly terms with his mother. Yet, Edward realised that he not only wanted to get to know her but that he needed to know her story. He wanted to know what life had been like for her and how she'd managed to single-handedly raise such a fine young man as Dan obviously appeared to be.

As Edward had stood there and watched Bella teeter on the edge of embarrassment and uncertainty in her own living room, he'd understood the anger and resentment that he had developed towards her in the past week was being tempered by a desire to know and understand her. It became important for him to know what took place all those years ago once she left the resort after their one-night stand. He needed to know why she never tried to contact him, why she never told him that he had a son, and why she chose to go it alone. Edward realised that behind those large brown eyes that had looked at him with a mixture of anxiety and cautiousness was a deeply loving and protective mother as well as a person of strong character.

His thoughts did nothing to help him get to sleep. In fact, if it was possible, he felt even more alert and charged than he had earlier in the evening at Bella's house.

He was surprised at just how much he had enjoyed the evening as it drew to a close. After preparing their dinner together, following Bella's initial attempts to run and hide in the kitchen, they had cleaned the kitchen before returning to the living room while dinner baked in the oven. A mutual love of cooking had kept the conversation flowing during that time. Edward believed that Bella had been surprised to notice how confident he was in a kitchen. He wondered whether maybe her own experiences with the men in her life had never done much to promote men's potential culinary expertise.

Without elaborating on the reasons, and in an attempt to keep the conversation moving along, he'd told her that when his circumstances had changed and he found himself living alone, he'd decided that he could either spend his life ordering take out or learn to cook himself. He'd chosen the latter and had, over the years, taken classes in a variety of cooking styles. He did have to admit though that because he was so used to cooking for one that he had no idea of how much food was considered enough on the very rare occasions he had to cook for more numbers. Quality he could do, but accurately gauging quantity, not so much.

While in the living room awaiting their dinner, the conversation had again slowed to an uncomfortable trickle, the topic of cooking exhausted. Bella had sipped quietly at her drink, her feet curled up under her on her sofa. She had begun to withdraw from him again, which was obvious from her body language and lack of eye contact. Edward and Dan had continued talking with Dan sometimes throwing the conversation Bella's way in an attempt to include her. Bella's responses, while polite, were brief. She didn't appear keen to elaborate much, if at all. Slowly, Edward could see that she was rebuilding the brick wall around her. It was only after he had asked a question about Dan's early childhood years that Bella began to re-engage in the conversation. She'd suggested that Dan get down some of the old photo albums to show Edward some pictures of him as a toddler. This had become another turning point in the evening.

"So you had blonde hair as a youngster?" Edward had asked as he flipped through some of the pages.

"Yeah. It was blonde and curly. I could never work out how that combination came to be."

Edward smirked at that comment but didn't explain why. "How old were you when it started to darken?"

"I don't know. Mom?"

"When you were about five or six, I suppose. Pull down some of your old school photos if you like. They'll show you a yearly progression."

"Good idea. Where are they?"

"Upstairs in the hall closet."

"OK. I'll go get them," Dan had said before stopping at the bottom of the stairs and asking, "how long 'til dinner's ready?"

Bella had laughed and Edward remembered smiling when he'd heard it. She'd then spoken directly to him, asking him a question of her own. "Did you have an insatiable appetite as a younger man, Edward? I swear to goodness this one has had hollow legs since the age of fourteen."

"My mom always said there was a reason that God had seen fit to give her a boy. I was the one who ensured that she never had to throw away any leftovers – mostly 'cause there weren't any." Bella had laughed again at his response, and Edward had returned her smile, wanting to keep her talking now that he had engaged her once again. "My favourite was always pasta. Still is to tell you the truth."

"Lucky choice for a quick dinner tonight, then," Bella had replied.

"Indeed, but I don't eat as much now as I used to. Old age seems to have tempered my appetite, such as it was."

"There you go, Mom," Dan had said from the bottom of the stairs. He had watched Edward and Bella's exchange with relief. His mom was talking freely again. "Only another twenty odd years and my appetite will be reduced somewhat. Something to look forward to," he'd said before turning and to take the stairs two at a time in search of his old school photos.

"I hope that your appetite will be somebody else's responsibility long before then!" Bella had called loudly at his retreating form. She turned to look back at Edward before continuing. "I swear, sometimes he thinks he will live here indefinitely."

"It is becoming more common for kids to stay home longer these days," Edward had replied.

"He can't afford to move out at the moment. He spent all of his money travelling this year. I know he will move out when he can afford to, but right now, he's trying to save. Cassie living on the other side of the country isn't going to help him out much with that plan."

"Has Dan told you that I'm flying out with the girls just after Christmas for a week? It's my Christmas present to them and a chance for us all to get together again."

"Dan did mention it, yes. That's very generous of you; you must be their favourite uncle."

"I don't know about that, but I am trying to be practical about it all. Cassie's still in college, and Dan's new at his job. So, flying the girls out for the Christmas holiday seemed to kill two birds with one stone."

A moment or two of silence had followed until Dan had called down from the top of the stairs. "Mom? I can't find them. Where exactly in the hall closet?"

Bella had rolled her eyes before responding, "In the box on the top shelf labelled school photos." She had then looked at Edward. "So, do you suffer from male blindness, too?"

Edward smiled to himself as he lay in bed in his hotel room thinking back over that particular exchange.

"Male blindness?" he'd queried, repeating her words.

"Yes. It's a common condition that affects a male's ability to find anything in refrigerators, cupboards and laundry hampers. Seriously. You can Google it."

"And what would I find if I Googled it?"

"Thousands and thousands of pages written by frustrated females who can't for the life of them work out why men can't ever find the things they are looking for without assistance."

"Things such as..?"

"School photographs for one, car keys, cell phones, wallets, food, underwear... you name it...men can't find it."

"Is that a fact?"

"Absolutely."

"So how come I'm here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, following your logic, I would never have been able to leave my house today because I shouldn't have been able to find my car keys, wallet and possibly by extension, my plane ticket."

"Well...," Bella had said, pausing while she came up with an appropriate response, "seeing as you live alone, you would obviously have had to develop the side of your brain that handles those decisions and skills; therefore, you have become more skilled in areas most males fail to."

"So, you think that males fail to develop these skills because they have females in their lives?"

"Women are, by necessity, more organised than men."

"Men are hunters and gathers; women are nurturers."

"My point precisely. Men collect and hoard. Women sort, organise and declutter."

"You think that sorting, organising and decluttering are nurturing qualities?"

"They are things that women have had to become proficient at over time because men aren't."

"But that doesn't answer my question."

"What question?"

"About sorting, organising and decluttering being nurturing qualities."

"Oh, well, women are also survivors. We manage to successfully negotiate experiences that would cause many men to crumble to pieces."

"Now you've lost me. I'm not following you."

"Women have developed skills necessary to manage living with men. Sorting, organising and decluttering are some of them. In order to live in relative harmony with men, most women have developed skills that make up for men's lack there of."

"So, women complement men?"

"Most women organise their men."

"Would you not consider that complementary in nature?"

"No, I just consider that frustrating."

"I see. So, tell me, how come your own son has been allowed to be so skill deficient in these areas, seeing as you're such an expert?"

"That is one of my life's greatest mysteries. I have no idea how he can be so hopeless with such things."

"You've never considered that he hasn't had to develop said skills because he relies on you to have them for him?"

"Despite my best efforts, my son has failed to develop 'said skills' to a proficient level. It is one of my greatest failures as a parent," Bella had said, dramatically raising a palm to her forehead, "but then, I just console myself with the knowledge that being male, he is naturally deficient in such skills – a genetic gap if you like. Even the most skilled women can only do so much in their fight against the gene pool."

Edward had laughed aloud at that comment just as Dan entered the room carrying the box that had started the conversation.

"So, you consider it a lost cause then?" he'd asked.

"It seems so," Bella had concurred. "But the one thing a mother has to look forward to is that one day her son will leave home. Then, karma ensures that he will be forced to develop those skills necessary to manage on his own. Either that, or he finds some poor girl who thinks his lack of organisation and male blindness is cute. Poor pet."

"Is that true, Dan? Does Cassie find your lack of organisational skills cute?"

"Who says I'm disorganised?" Dan had said, looking towards his mother.

"Apparently, it's something all men suffer from, according to Sociology 101, Bella style."

"Are you on about male blindness again, Mom?"

"Amongst other things," Bella had answered.

"Well, I don't know about my male blindness, but I think Cassie finds some other parts of me pretty cute," Dan had said with a wink.

"La, la la la la la la," Bella had replied, putting her hands over her ears and getting up off the couch. "I'm going to check on dinner."

Dan and Edward had laughed out loud at Bella's hasty retreat.

"There's always one sure way to get mom off a topic like male blindness. Introduce something she really doesn't want to hear about. Works every time."

Edward rolled over on his stomach in his bed, smiling as he recalled telling Dan that he would have to remember that little piece of advice for future reference. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on going to sleep. He nestled his head in his forearms on his pillow and willed sleep to come.

It didn't work.

He turned his head the other way, the muscles in his neck tightening as he tried and failed to find a comfortable position. He flopped himself over on to his back and put his hands by his sides over the top of the comforter. He breathed deeply in and out.

Nothing. No sleep. Just more thoughts and recollections from their evening that continued to tumble through his mind.

Dinner at the table.

More awkward moments of silence that were broken by Dan's attempts to keep conversation going.

Cleaning up in the kitchen after dinner, side by side with Dan.

Edward was grateful that Dan seemed comfortable and relaxed in his presence. He could tell that Dan was making a concerted effort during the night to diffuse any tension or discomfort. He'd caught the half smiles and brief moments of eye contact between Bella and Dan during the evening. Edward hoped for that kind of intimacy with Dan – the kind that didn't require words to share a thought or meaning. He believed it would develop over time, and Edward once again vowed to himself that he wouldn't let the geographical distance get in the way of getting to know his son. He was happy that Dan seemed so keen and willing to get to know him, too.

Edward knew Dan wasn't in a financial position to travel out to California regularly, so Edward hoped that he could fly East more often. For years, Edward had baulked at working on the East Coast―New York in particular. New Yorkers were such a different breed to Californians. There had been plenty of work opportunities come his way in recent times, especially since his award nominations and subsequent win, but he had never really seen the need to commute because there was so much work available for him in and around L.A. Maybe now was the time to start seriously thinking about some of the other offers that came his way. His meeting in New York on Sunday afternoon was initially something that he had used as an excuse to justify his trip in his own mind, but now he was contemplating that working in New York would have decided benefits by allowing him to see his son more often.

My son. A week after this revelation, and Edward was amazed by how easily the term now passed through his thoughts. A son. My son.

Two weeks ago, his life had looked so...regular...normal. It had since been turned upside down and, honestly, he'd found it exciting. The future had a whole different view now, and Edward looked forward to it.

He threw his arms over his eyes. He understood that sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon as his mind was racing through one thought after another. He began to think about ways he could become involved in Dan's life. It wasn't going to be as easy as if Dan had been a small child. There wasn't any little league games, high school football or college ball to become involved in. Dan was an adult and at a stage when most young men begin to pull away from their families and establish their own identities, carving out their own futures. Dan was doing that now with his relationship with Cassie.

Edward's mind thought about Dan and Cassie. They had so much to deal with. Cassie was still in college. Dan was at a new job. They lived thousands of miles apart. He wondered if Dan and Cassie had ever discussed their situation and how they would resolve the issues involved. It had been very obvious to everyone back home just how much those two cared for each other. Young love was something to behold, and there was no doubt in Edward's mind at all that Dan and Cassie were very much in love.

He wondered briefly what would happen in the future if Dan and Cassie weren't able to deal with the hurdles they had in front of them. What would happen if they didn't make it? That was something he hadn't thought of before now, and those thoughts concerned him. He wondered if there was anything he could do to help try and solve some of the difficulties facing the young couple. Would Cassie move out here once she finished her teaching degree? Would Dan consider moving West? And if he did, would he be prepared to leave his mother behind in the process? He doubted that. Dan and Bella shared a unique and powerful connection, which was obvious to him. Yet, hadn't Bella herself alluded to her desire for Dan to move out at some point? Wasn't she resigned to the fact that he would indeed move on one day?

Edward continued to lay in the dark room with his eyes wide open. If Dan and Cassie's relationship did fail, what would it mean for Edward and Dan's own fledgling relationship?

There was so much to consider, so much to address as he tried to work out how he could continue to develop a relationship with his son. Would Dan have the time to put towards building a relationship with him? That was something to consider. Edward got the distinct feeling that Dan wanted to get to know him. He definitely wasn't putting up any road blocks along the way, but Edward also suspected that Dan's top priority wasn't their father-son relationship, but rather, his own relationship with Cassie.

_God, this is just so complicated_, Edward thought to himself.

He thought more about Dan and Cassie's situation. Either one could move he reasoned, but he suspected that Dan would be more willing to do so than Cassie. She had spent her entire life on the West Coast, and he couldn't imagine her being quite so keen to leave her family behind. But then again, she had surprised him in so many ways recently.

Cassie had always been a rather indulged young lady. Her parents were grounded people and had ensured Cassie had a good upbringing, but they had spoilt her over the years. He didn't really think most of the time that she appreciated exactly how lucky she was. Her life experience, for example, had been very different to Dan's. Still, Edward had to admit that he had noticed some considerable changes in Cassie in recent times. He had seen her several times since her return from Australia and accurately surmised that Dan had a lot to do with those changes. He was bringing out the best in her, and she was growing up and blossoming under his attentions. She had surprised Edward last weekend with her determination to support Dan. Their devotion to each other had been obvious this last Sunday before Dan had left to fly home. Cassie had tried very hard to hold herself together at the airport, but Dan had been right to think that she would be too upset to travel home safely straight away. Once Dan had gone from sight at the airport, Cassie had broken down and cried in his arms. He'd stayed with her for over an hour letting herself cry herself out before pulling herself together enough to make the drive home.

Edward had realised then just how heavily invested Cassie was in this relationship. He'd mentioned as much to Alice when he had called to let her know that Cassie was on her way home. Alice had surprised him by saying that she expected Cassie and Dan were not only in this together for the long run, but that she thought they would marry young. Edward had asked her if she knew something more than he did, but she just said she had a distinct feeling that they would marry sooner rather than later and wouldn't be at all surprised if it would be done and dusted by the same time next year. Edward could envisage them getting married at one point if they could negotiate their way through their current situations but couldn't see it happening quite so soon. They were both just too young in his mind, but Alice had been adamant saying she had a sixth sense about these things. She suspected that time would prove her right.

Edward wondered what Bella knew of Dan's intentions. Being as close as she and Dan were, Edward suspected that Dan would confide in his mother about things like this. He again caught himself wondering if Dan moved West, would Bella follow?

Edward was startled when his cell phone rang.

Throwing back the covers and getting to his feet, he moved across to the small dresser in his room and fumbled around under his strewn clothing in search of his phone. He picked it up and looked at the caller ID.

Alice.

Of course it would be.

"Hello, Alice," Edward said as he took the call.

"Hi! I wasn't sure you'd pick up. I thought you might still be at Dan and Bella's."

"It's after 11, Alice," Edward said wearily.

"Is it really? Oh, I got the time difference wrong. Sorry."

"No harm done. I wasn't asleep yet."

"So...," Alice started, "how did it go?"

"Are you asking for my version to balance it against Dan's version via Cassie?" Edward replied with a question of his own.

"Cassie's in her room. I assume she's speaking to Dan, but she's not told me anything, yet. So...?"

"It went fine," Edward said, rubbing his eyes and realising that he wasn't going to get out of this conversation anytime soon.

"Fine. That's descriptive," Alice said, not keeping the sarcasm out of her voice.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Well, you could start with how well, or otherwise, Bella coped with seeing you again."

"It was awkward, at first. Still is, really. But all in all, not too bad."

"Oh for goodness sakes, Edward, could you be any vaguer?"

Edward sighed audibly into the phone.

Alice waited silently on the other end, which was no easy feat for her.

"She was nervous," Edward started, filling in the silence.

"Understandably so. I can't imagine how I would begin to handle it if I was in that situation."

"She tried to escape to the kitchen. I think she wanted to hide herself away and just leave the evening to Dan and me."

"Was it? Just you and Dan, I mean?"

"No. Dan told me she was cooking dinner for us so I went after her to try and convince her not to."

"How did that go?"

"I ended up helping her by boiling the pasta."

"I bet that was a test of your skills, huh?"

"Very funny, Alice."

"So, what happened next?"

"We talked."

"About?"

"Dan...and male blindness," Edward said smiling.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

There were a few moments of silence between the two of them.

"So," Alice started again. "Did you get to ask her any questions? Did you ask her why she never bothered to contact you and let you know you were going to be a father?"

"It wasn't that kind of night, Alice. It wasn't that kind of talk."

"So, did you find out anything?"

"Dan had blonde hair as a youngster, and his grandfather used to take him fishing."

"Right."

Silence.

"I couldn't come in all guns blazing, Alice."

"That's a different tone to what you were taking earlier this week," she reminded him.

"I know."

"So what changed?"

"Me. I met her."

"Yeah..."

"She's a real person, Alice."

"Ah, yeah. Got that bit. Met her already, remember?"

Edward smiled at his sister's smart mouth.

"What I mean is...she's real. Her eyes tell a story, but I just don't know what they're saying yet, that's all."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not following you."

Edward took time to collect his thoughts.

"She's not some mean, hard-nosed woman, Alice. She's nice."

"Again, yes. But surely you couldn't have expected anything different. You've met Dan. You know he's a nice kid. That had to come from somewhere, Edward."

"I know."

More silence.

"What is it, Edward. What is it you're not saying?"

More silence.

"Edward?" Alice pressed gently.

Another heavy sigh.

"I want to get to know her, Alice. She's disconcerting. She's compelling. She's real. She's...," Edward left his thoughts hanging.

"She's Dan's mother," Alice finished for him.

"No, Alice. She's Bella."

* * *

AN: This will be my last update prior to Christmas. I hate leaving it at this point (seriously, I do) and I will be writing amid the chaos of Christmas and New Year celebrations but won't be posting again until mid January I guess (that's the plan anyway - my kids deserve some Momma time while they are on holidays.)

I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and that even the littlest things can bring you smiles as this special time of year.

Thank you, all of you, who read, who review, who PM me and who visit the thread. It still amazes me that I am doing this. I never knew I had it in me to bring one of my mental stories to life and doing so has brought me much joy. As have all of you who are reading it. It makes me feel all warm and tingly thinking that something I am writing is being enjoyed by others. I have met some wonderful people through this experience and seeing the names of regulars and newbies pop up in my inbox makes me smile, each and every time.

Merry Christmas

Leisa


	25. Chapter 25

Welcome back – everyone!

SM owns the original twilight characters. This story, the plot, the OOC characters and the words contained herein, are mine. Please respect that and please report any unauthorised copying of this or any other author's work. It's theft and is disrespectful.

Thank you all for your patience over the break. School holidays still aren't finished for my kids yet – they don't go back to school until after the Australia Day which is celebrated on the 26th January each year. I am not sure whether I will get the chance to have another chapter written before then, but I promise to keep working away at things diligently to get one to you as soon as possible. I haven't written review replies to chapter 24 reviews yet. I hope that getting Chapter 25 to you will make up for that.

**Ch 25 – Reaching Out**

Edward was startled awake by a soft yet persistent rapping sound. He lay in his bed; his foggy state making it impossible to process what he was hearing. The darkness of the room did little to help orientate him.

Seconds later, the sound occurred again. Realizing it was someone knocking on the door to his room, Edward tossed back the covers and threw his legs over the side of the bed, sitting himself upright in one fluid movement. He rubbed his eyes trying to rouse himself from sleep before he glanced at the clock on the nightstand.

8 a.m.

_That'll be breakfast_, he thought to himself as he stood upright and stretched. He walked towards the door and grabbing a shirt from his bag, pulled it over his head before opening the door slightly to confirm his suspicions.

After ushering the busboy with the breakfast trolley inside and waiting patiently while the trolley was organized 'just so', Edward signed for the meal before finding his wallet and giving the young man a tip. He then escorted him out and closed the door gently but firmly behind him.

Edward was still barely awake. A late night could do that to a person.

After Alice's phone call the night before, Edward had struggled to get to sleep. Not only had he been overthinking the events of the day, but Alice's call had reminded him of exactly how determined he had been earlier in the week to find out answers to his nagging questions, most of which still remained unanswered.

Meeting Bella had caused Edward to re-evaluate his approach. After spending time with her and Dan the night before, Edward realized that Bella wasn't the person he had imagined her to be in his mind. Rather, she was soft, caring and gentle, and her intense nervousness had caught him off guard.

Edward couldn't equate the woman he'd met last night with the woman he had created in his mind prior to his visit. She wasn't arrogant. She wasn't self-centred. She was...nice.

It was because of this that Edward had decided almost immediately, to change tack and avoid asking all the questions he had been thinking about since learning of Dan's existence just a week before. Edward had decided, while he'd watched Bella flutter nervously around her kitchen organizing their dinner that he would get to know her better, first.

The few minutes Edward had spent alone in Bella's living room had given him time to look around. The room, he'd noted, was tastefully decorated. There had been small picture frames scattered here and there, and knick-knacks, along with other collectables, on the ledge over the fireplace and on the small tables and pieces furniture. As he'd glanced briefly over the photos that displayed evidence of Dan's life – a life Edward himself had never been involved in – he'd felt the now familiar twinges of pain and regret that began to once again encroach on his soul. And yet, the room gave off warmth that had quickly piqued Edward's interest in, rather than his scorn for, the woman who lived there.

Alice's unexpected phone call meant that Edward had spent a couple of hours struggling with how to ask the questions of Bella that he wanted answered. As a result, he'd been awake until sometime after 2 a.m. before falling into a restless sleep only to be woken by what seemed like a few hours later by the knocking on his door.

Edward walked back over to the breakfast trolley and surveyed what he had. He poured himself a coffee, leaving everything else untouched and moved across to the bathroom. Breakfast could wait. He needed a shower. Dan was planning to pick him up at nine. He needed to get himself ready and pull his head together before spending the day with his son.

**********

Dressed and ready, Edward was in the foyer of the hotel when Dan arrived to collect him. He had been reading the paper in one of the single lounge chairs set off to the side. While his eyes were scanning the articles, his mind had been elsewhere.

"My Pop used to say that a newspaper only gave joy when being read by pessimists," Dan said by way of greeting.

Startled for the second time that morning, Edward looked up from his seat into the eyes of his son. "Dan. Good Morning," he said as he smiled up at him while closing his paper.

"Morning, Edward," Dan said, taking a seat opposite him. "Anything good in there?" he asked, indicating the paper.

"Not really. Just a way to pass the time," Edward responded as he folded the paper and put in on the small circular table in front of him nestled between himself and Dan. "Did you say something about your grandfather?"

"Yeah. He believed that newspapers made pessimists happy. He believed he lived the news. He didn't like to read about it twenty-four hours later."

"Really? What did your grandfather do?"

"He was the Police Chief in Forks where we lived – where I grew up," Dan added by way of clarification. "He knew everything that was going on in that town, long before it hit the paper."

"Inside info, then."

"I suppose so," Dan replied, smiling and nodding. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure," Edward said standing. "What have you got planned?"

"Well, I thought I'd take you up to Dartmouth and show you around the campus," Dan said as he started to move over towards the hotel's main doors, Edward falling into step beside him, "and Chris, a friend of mine, is planning on meeting us at the pub for lunch."

"Chris. Wasn't he the one you traveled with?"

"I'm impressed. Good memory."

"Well. I do try, but the brain has had a lot to process lately, so I'm not always going to be accurate."

"You're doing well, so far."

"Thanks. So, will Bella be joining us today?" Edward asked casually as he stepped out into the cold morning air.

"Not today. She said she has things to do," Dan said, equally as casual.

They moved across the car park towards Dan's car.

"Is she still happy to go out for dinner tonight, my treat?" Edward asked as they reached Dan's car, looking at him from across the roof of the car while Dan unlocked it.

"Sure. She did ask this morning what time you wanted to go, but I didn't know the answer. We need to call her today at some point to let her know." Dan pressed the button on the key chain to unlock the car. "It's open. Get in."

Edward climbed into the car and shut the door before rubbing his hands together to warm them.

"It's a bit colder here than California, huh?" Dan said, smirking at Edward's feeble attempt to warm himself.

"One could say it's a bit of a shock to the system."

"Not exactly the beaches and babes that you're used to."

"The beaches...definitely not. And I don't usually notice the _babes_, as you say."

"Don't notice the babes? How can you live on the beach and not notice the babes?"

"I don't look at the _babes_. I look at the view."

"Aren't the babes, the view?"

"Not from where I stand or sit. The _babes_ don't interest me."

"Not even as eye candy?"

"Definitely not as eye candy. Besides, at my age, there are some things that are just too young to consider, and _the babes_ as you say, are definitely one of them.

"You're not that old," Dan said, starting the car.

"Thanks for that," Edward replied, laughing before fastening his seatbelt.

"What I mean is, there's plenty of fish in the ocean, and you live on the ocean..." Dan let his thoughts trail off incomplete.

Edward laughed again more loudly this time.

"Dan, your pop was a fisherman, wasn't he? Surely he taught you that the juveniles get thrown back in. They need a chance to grow up a bit before they can be considered a good catch – a keeper, so to speak."

"But haven't you ever just snuck one? Something that was maybe just a little too young but too good to let go of?"

Edward hesitated briefly before responding.

"Just once."

"See? I knew it," Dan said, hitting the steering wheel with his hand. "So, how did that work out for ya?"

More silence filled the car before Edward responded.

"It's haunted me for years."

Dan frowned at the change in tone of their conversation. He looked at Edward as he pulled the car out of the car park.

"I'm not following..." Dan let his voice trail off. Edward was looking straight ahead, all amusement gone from his features.

Edward turned toward Dan and levelled him with a gaze. "I'm only just beginning to find out about how that's working out for me, Dan."

Dan continued to frown at Edward, trying to sort out to what he was referring. A sudden moment of understanding caused his eyebrows to rise and his mouth to form a silent 'oh' as he focused once again on the slippery road in front of them.

Edward turned his head away from Dan to look out the front windshield of the car. Silence followed, each man lost in his own thoughts.

After several minutes, Edward broke the spell.

"So, Dan. Tell me more about Chris. Is he the really the Neanderthal the girls make him out to be?"

**********

"So, Edward," Chris asked as he returned to the booth with a fresh round of drinks, "what do you think of Dartmouth? Pretty amazing place, huh?" Edward raised his eyebrows and smiled at Chris in thanks as he took the beer that was offered to him.

"Indeed. I believe college life has changed in many respects since I went. There's definitely a lot more technology involved these days. The library, for one, would be almost unrecognizable except for the books."

"So, Dan said you're a musician by trade," Chris said, before taking a swig of his beer.

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it."

"I didn't say he was a musician," Dan said, feeling embarrassed by Chris' usual lack of verbal filter.

"Yes, you did. The other night. You said he has a whole garage of instruments and he plays and writes music and stuff."

Edward concurred, trying to make Dan feel at ease. "It's true. I do play a few instruments and write music."

"And you were in a band once, a long time ago, when you met Bella?" Chris continued.

"True, again. It was a band with a group of college buddies. I quit before my final year, though, and got a bit more serious about the musical composition side of things."

"What was the band called?"

"_Vamp_," both Dan and Edward answered simultaneously. They looked at each other and shared a brief smile.

"You serious? _Vamp_? As in vampires?"

"One in the same."

"How did you come up with that name?"

"Well…" Edward started slowly. "I think it was the end result of a night's worth of heavy drinking and somebody's sense of humor. There was a movie back then called _Vamp_. It seemed like a good idea at the time," he answered with a shrug.

"There was a movie called _Vamp_?" Dan asked.

"Yeah. It came out in the mid-80s and was based around a group of college frat boys who stumbled across a strip club run by vampires. Pretty apt when you think of it – the frat boys part at least. We liked it anyway."

"Unbelievable!" Chris quipped.

"As I said, we were drunk at the time, but the name stuck."

"Did you look like vampires, too?"

Edward smiled in memory and then took another sip of his beer. "Dyed our hair black, painted our faces white and wore red lipstick on stage."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Chris quipped again.

"It was the 80s you know," Edward said. "And besides," he continued, trying to defend himself, "there will no doubt be things that you did while you were at college that you will look back on in the years to come and wonder how you could ever have thought that they were a good idea."

"I'm already there. What the hell was that semester of art appreciation all about?" Chris said looking at Dan and shaking his head.

"Jasmine Cooper."

"Oh, hell yeah. That's right. That was some aesthetic appreciation factor, too," Chris responded with a wink.

"What ever happened to her?"

"A basketball jock."

"Really? Which one?"

"Does it matter?"

"Guess not."

"She was out of your league anyway."

"Says who?"

"Genetics."

"Genetics?"

"She had a modern brain, while yours is apparently stuck back in the Stone Age," Dan said, exchanging a smile with Edward.

"Who says mine is stuck back in the Stone Age?"

"The girls."

"Which girls?"

"Cassie and Sammy," Edward said, finally joining in on the exchange.

"They said my brain is prehistoric?"

"Actually, Sammy described you as a Neanderthal."

"No way!"

"Way," Edward conceded, nodding his head.

"Little Miss 'I-won't-drive-around-in-a-thing-like-that' and 'oh-no-I-don't-use-public-amenities' McCarty. Geez. She's got a pole shoved so far up her –."

"Careful," Edward warned. "That Little Miss, despite the accuracy of your comments, is still my niece. Family associations dictate that I must defend her reputation."

Chris took another swig of his beer.

"Better that she's your relative and not mine, Edward."

"You two got on alright while we were traveling," Dan reminded Chris.

"Yeah. Well, we had to. With you and Cassie all goo-goo eyes at each other, we had to talk."

"We weren't that bad."

"Wanna bet?" Chris said before turning to Edward to continue the conversation. "Edward, those two were all cutesy-cuddly for half the trip. He was so sickly sweet that we didn't ever need to buy syrup for our pancakes."

"We never ate pancakes."

"Well, we wouldn't have needed it if we did."

Edward sat back and watched the light-hearted banter between the two friends. He did have to admit to himself that Chris was a little brutish in his manner but not in a bad way. He just spoke his mind and never left anything unsaid. He reminded him of his brother-in-law, Emmett, in that way.

"Geez, I'm hungry. How much longer 'til they deliver my steak? I could eat a horse."

"Looks like you're in luck," Dan answered as he looked across Edward's shoulder to a server who was bringing over three heavily-laden plates.

"Thank god," Chris sighed in relief. "All this talk of food was beginning to drive my hunger pains over the edge."

"The edge of what?" Edward asked.

"The bottomless pit that's his stomach," Dan answered for him.

"Cretin."

"Neanderthal."

"Truce," declared Edward as their food arrived.

"Deal," Chris said simply as he eyed his big lump of steak on his plate.

"We're in public, Chris. You'll need to use your knife and fork here," Dan reminded him as he watched his friend almost begin to salivate on demand.

Chris looked up from his plate toward Dan. He rolled his eyes while he reached for his knife and fork that had been delivered with his meal and began to unroll them from the napkin that secured them. He waggled them in the air before attacking his steak with gusto.

"Well, that's going to be the last we hear from him for a while," Dan said looking over towards Edward.

"Nawt nesswecerily," Chris replied while chewing on his first mouthful.

"Well, the last we're going to understand for a while at least," Edward responded, and the three men shared a quiet laugh amongst themselves as they dug into their meal.

*************

"So does your mother have a favorite restaurant?" Edward asked as he and Dan pulled out of the pub's parking lot.

"She loves Thai food. There's a restaurant here in Hanover that she likes quite a bit. We used to go there for dinner once in a while when she'd come for a visit."

"Can we call them and make a booking for tonight?" Edward asked, "Or is it going to be too treacherous to drive with the weather?"

"Maybe for out-of-towners like yourself, but for us locals, these are perfectly fine driving conditions, and we're not expecting snow tonight according to the radio. We can stop by if you'd like to check it out. The restaurant's just down the road from here."

"Sounds good to me," Edward responded.

Mai Thai was located on South Main Street, and Dan negotiated his way to it from memory. He and Edward went inside and arranged a booking for 8 o'clock that night. While they had been waiting for the maitre d' to take their booking, Edward had grabbed a menu from the front counter and began to scrutinize the menu.

"Are you familiar with Thai food?" Dan asked him.

"I've eaten it before. We have a range of cuisine in my local area. Thai's not bad. I like it in fact. I was just checking out whether the dishes you offer on this side of the country are similar to what's offered in California."

"And?"

"I know most of these. There are some that are new to me though. They might be where I start tonight."

"Up for a change are you?"

"There's a lot to be said for new discoveries. I'm experiencing that a lot lately, and so far, I'm finding it enjoyable."

"That's good to know," Dan said, smiling back at him.

Edward and Dan headed back to the car and continued to chat amiably as they drove back to Edward's hotel. As they pulled up to the doors, Dan looked to Edward and asked what time he would like to be picked up for dinner.

"I was thinking that I could call a cab and pick you and Bella up tonight. That way we can all have a drink or two and not have to worry about who is going to drive home."

"Oh. Alright, then. What time will you be by our place?"

"Would 7:30 be OK? I need to check on some emails and things, and then get cleaned up for dinner. I'll call the cab from here and swing by your place to pick you up on the way."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll let mom know."

"I'll see you just after 7:30 then," Edward said, starting to open the door. He stopped himself and turned to look at Dan. "Thanks for a great day today. I really enjoyed myself."

"I did, too. It was good to get to spend some time showing you things, including Chris," Dan said with a roll of his eyes.

"Chris is a great guy. He reminds me a lot of a younger Emmett."

"And Rosalie was attracted to that?"

"Rosalie was intrigued by that. That's how he got his foot in the door, so to speak."

"I don't think it's been a case of like-mother-like-daughter though."

"Possibly not, but if Sammy really doesn't like someone, she won't put up with them. She's not one to suffer fools and in that respect, she is very much like her mother. So, I'll see you tonight then."

"We'll be ready."

Edward exited the car and made his way into the foyer of the hotel. He turned to wave as Dan pulled away and then made his way to the elevator and up to his room.

It had been a good day, and he was looking forward to this evening even more.

************

Dressed and, yet again, waiting in the lobby, Edward checked his coat pocket for his wallet and cell phone. He heard rather than felt the piece of paper that was tucked away securely in the inside breast pocket. He wondered whether or not he would have the opportunity to bring it out tonight. As he waited for the cab within the warm foyer of the hotel, Edward was bombarded by conflicting emotions regarding tonight's dinner. On one hand, he was looking forward to going out for the evening with Dan and Bella. He'd had an enjoyable day with his son and liked being able to get to see him interact with his friend, Chris. Despite their intense ribbing of each other, it had been obvious that they did, in fact, share a strong friendship, and he had to admit that he liked Chris quite a bit. And getting to know Dan better, too, was extremely important to Edward. When Dan had taken him on a tour of the famous university where Dan had earned a partial scholarship, Edward had reveled in Dan's recounts of his college days and the stories that went with them.

However, as he now waited for the cab while absentmindedly tapping his left foot and checking the large clock on the wall over the concierge's desk, Edward began feeling the tension that was growing by the minute in his belly. His dinner with Bella at her home the previous night had ended well enough, and the evening, despite its awkward start, had been pleasant. Yet, Edward couldn't help but wonder if tonight's dinner would start off just as awkwardly. He hadn't spoken to Bella all day, and she had opted out of spending the day with him and Dan. Edward hoped that Bella's decision to not join them had not been made because she still felt too uncomfortable with him to spend any more than a few brief hours in his company.

The arrival of the cab drew Edward out into the cold New England air, and he braced himself against its chill deciding not to put on his large woollen overcoat for the few brief steps to the cab's door. Settling in for the ride to their place, Edward could feel the tension in his stomach increase. He wondered what Bella had thought of him last night. He knew he was intrigued by her, but did she like him? Did she find him...nice? These thoughts and others like them continued to float around in his mind as the cab driver made his way through the chilly night toward Bella's door.

A short time later, Edward arrived at Bella and Dan's promptly at 7:30.

_I'll have to remember to tell Alice I made it on time_, he mused to himself.

Instructing the driver to wait for him and his guests, Edward exited the car. This time, he donned his heavy overcoat to protect himself from the increasing chill of the night. He took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm his nerves as he quickly made his way up the small set of steps leading to Bella's front door. He managed to knock confidently. _Step one, accomplished_, he thought to himself.

Moments later, the door opened and Bella greeted him with a polite smile.

"Good evening, Edward. Come in. You're right on time, it seems. Dan, however, isn't. He shouldn't be more than a minute or two, I hope," she said, rolling her eyes as she finished her sentence. "Punctuality has never been one of his strong points.

"That's funny you should say that," Edward said, stepping into the foyer. "My family is always making fun of my apparent inability to run on time. In fact, as I pulled up in the cab, I made a mental note to tell Alice that I got here on time tonight – not that she would believe me without evidence."

"Well, tell her that I'll back up your claims if she needs proof. How is Alice, anyway?" Bella asked, closing the door behind Edward.

"She's fine. I spoke with her last night actually. She called me to see how our evening went."

"Did she, huh?"

"Yes, she did indeed. My sister may be little, but she is not short on sticking her nose into other people's business."

Bella smiled.

"Well, I would think that she has a vested interest in how well you and I are supposedly getting along. Cassie and Alice, in fact, your whole family has been affected by this little…what would you call this? A situation? I really have no words to describe it," Bella finished, her forehead crinkling a little as she thought about how to appropriately phrase the events of the last week.

"Actually, Bella, I don't think any of us have any words to describe this at all," Edward replied politely as he glanced through the window to check on the cab waiting outside. _If this was L.A., the driver would have honked the horn several times by this point._

Bella noted Edward's casual glance out toward the waiting cab.

"Wait here for a moment, Edward. I'm sorry about holding you up. I'll go and see if I can get Dan down here any faster."

"Oh, don't worry too much about it. The cab driver was told to wait for us. Besides, he's unlikely to drive off without his fare."

Bella once again smiled politely at Edward's words and turned, moving across to the bottom of the stairs.

"Dan!" she called to him. "Edward's here and the cab's waiting. Shake a leg."

Edward smiled to himself at Bella's tone of voice. He wondered if it was a teacher thing. She had always been so politely spoken in front of him before now, and this louder, more commanding version was very different to that.

"Sorry 'bout that," Bella said as if responding to his silent thoughts. "Playground teacher's voice. I have to pull it out at home on occasion."

This time, it was Edward's turn to smile politely in response. As he did, Edward caught Bella's eye, and the two of them stood silently regarding each other, a small smile on both their lips. The moment was broken by the sound of hurried footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Alright, I'm ready. Hi, Edward," Dan said hurriedly as he came into range.

"Nice of you to join us, Dan," Bella chided her son.

"Sorry, Mom. I was on the phone with Cassie."

"Well, you can fill us in on that conversation on the way in the cab," Edward said as he made a move towards the door. He stopped just short of opening it when he noticed Bella reaching for her own coat as she passed the racks in the hall.

"Here. Let me help you with that," Edward offered, reaching for the coat and opening it for her, gesturing with his hands for her to turn around.

"Thank you, Edward. I'm usually used to shrugging into this thing on my own." Bella turned herself around and placed her handbag on the hallstand before lowering her arms and allowing Edward to slide the coat on and up over her shoulders. He finished with a gentle, yet firm, two-handed brush over her shoulders as he smoothed her coat for her.

Bella turned once again to face Edward and gave him a soft smile of thanks before reaching for her handbag and tucking it under her arm.

"Ready?" Dan asked as he braced himself to open the door and step out into the cold after putting on his own coat.

"Lead the way," Edward responded while stepping back and allowing Bella to follow her son out the door.

Once the door was securely locked behind them, the trio made their way down the steps and towards the waiting cab.

_Oh, god. Where do I sit?_ Edward wondered to himself as they approached the cab. He hadn't considered this before this moment.

The decision was made seconds later as Dan opened the back door of the cab for his mother and the front door, apparently for himself.

"I'll sit in the front. I know where we're going," he said, allowing no room for argument.

Edward exchanged an awkward smile with Bella and he hesitated only briefly before moving around the back of the cab and over to the other rear door.

The driver looked perplexed as Dan took up his seat in the front of the car and caught Edward's eye in the rear vision mirror, seeking confirmation of his earlier instructions.

"The Mai Thai on South Main Street, thank you driver," Edward said cordially, confirming his earlier request.

"No problem," the driver said, giving Dan yet another brief look before indicating and pulling out.

Dan turned slightly in his seat so that he could look towards both his mother and Edward in the back seat.

"So, Edward. Do you want to know what Cassie told me? She told me that you told Alice that you think Mom is nice. So, last night wasn't as scary as you thought it would be, huh?"

Edward closed his eyes and groaned internally at Dan's casually flippant remark. _I'll kill Alice_, he thought, not for the first time in his life. He also hoped against hope that Bella couldn't see his discomfort in the dark interior of the cab.

Edward could, however, feel Bella's gaze on him as he opened his eyes. A brief look in her direction confirmed his suspicions. Obviously, the interior of the cab wasn't as dark as he'd hoped.

"So, you told her I was 'nice' did you?" Bella asked Edward, a cheeky smile playing on her lips. "That was very nice of you. But, tell me. What were you expecting? A cranky, self-absorbed spinster?"

Edward turned his head sharply at Bella's words and was relieved to see a rather large smile on her face.

"Well, now that you mention it..." Edward started, letting his voice trail off before turning his attention to Dan. "Thanks for that one, Dan. Great way to start off the evening, if I must say so."

"You're welcome," Dan said cheerfully, "but you seem to have recovered rather well."

"No thanks to you."

"Consider it making up for lost time."

"Really? In what way?" Edward questioned.

"A bit of gentle father-son baiting, that's all," Dan responded with a wink.

"Gr-eat," Edward said, dragging it out.

Edward was distracted by Bella's brief but audible laugh from the seat next to him. He looked across to her and couldn't help but smile in return.

"Oh, don't look quite so happy about it, Edward. I've had years' worth of taunting from this one in front. It seems only fair that you get your share now."

Edward pursed his lips and nodded solemnly. Bella was still smiling, but Edward wasn't able to return the gesture at this point. He was, yet again, so innocently it seemed, reminded of how much time he had missed with his son, and it was a growing sore point with him. He tried to push such thoughts from his mind as he turned and looked out the window of the car. Bella and Dan exchanged brief looks trying to work out the cause for the sudden change in Edward's mood as silence fell upon the car for several minutes.

Nearing the restaurant, Dan tried to break the silence by inquiring about their drink selections for the evening. Since we're taking a cab, we're free to have a drink or two tonight," Dan started. "Have you given any thought to what you might like to drink tonight, Mom?"

"Not at all, love."

"I had a look at the wine list on the menu today when we stopped by to make our reservation," Edward said, joining the conversation. "They have a gewürztraminer on the list. That usually complements most Asian dishes nicely."

"I'm really not that familiar with wines. I tend to stick with chardonnays and I don't believe I have tried one of those before," Bella said, smiling at him trying to continue the conversation, "I'm sure your suggestion will be lovely, Edward. ."

"I noticed last night that you were drinking white, so I thought of the gewürztraminer. It's quite refreshing.

"I think it will be a good night to try something different."

"We can look at the drink menu more closely when we get there. "

"That sounds good to me."

The fact that their conversation had lost the light banter from earlier wasn't lost on any of them as they struggled to get back to their earlier ease with each other. Edward's concerns about having an uncomfortable evening seemed to be coming to fruition.

They arrived at the restaurant, and Bella and Dan exited the car while Edward paid the fare. He joined them on the sidewalk, and together they all moved to the entrance of the restaurant.

They were promptly greeted by the maitre d' and shown to their table, Bella reacting just a little at the mention of a reservation under the name Cullen. It was the first time she had heard the name used when referring to anything to do with herself.

Their table was towards the middle of the restaurant. Originally a table set for four, one of the place settings had been removed to accommodate their booking. . The server left them with their menus, promising to come back and take their order once they had time to peruse it. In the meantime, he left them with chilled water to sip at their leisure.

Everything was very polite and cordial and far from comfortable.

All three sat quietly and perused their menus, giving them their almost undivided attention. Almost, their undivided attention. Brief glances were being exchanged between Bella and Dan, and Dan and Edward, but not between Bella and Edward. Those two sets of eyes were steadfastly avoiding one another.

The waiter returned to inquire if they were ready to order. Edward suggested that maybe they needed just a little more time but did ask Bella if she was willing to try the Gewurztraminer they had spoken about on the way there. When she nodded her head silently in answer to his question, Edward ordered a bottle for Bella and a beer for Dan. The server graciously left to fill their drink order, leaving them to their own devices again.

Finally, Edward tried to bridge the silence that was enveloping their table.

"So, Bella. Dan mentioned today that this is a favourite restaurant of yours and that you'd come here from time to time when you'd visit him at Dartmouth."

Grateful for a safe topic of conversation, Bella answered with genuine relief.

"Yes. Friends of mine first introduced me to it not long after we moved here and Dan started college," Bella offered by way of explanation. "Jess loves Thai food, and she told me that this is one of the more authentic places around that serves traditional Thai made here by a Thai family. It's operated by a husband and wife team."

"Their menu looked inviting when we came by to make our reservation for tonight," Edward said before taking a sip from his wine glass. "Is there anything particular from the menu that you would recommend?"

"Well, I am rather partial to their various entrées. Do you like seafood, Edward?"

"I love seafood."

"Well, the fish cakes, Tod Mun Pla, are rather delicious. Then again, so are the Chicken Wings, and the Crying Tiger Beef is rather tasty. It's cooked medium rare, if you like your meat that way."

"It all sounds good to me. Dan? Do you have any preferences?"

"Well, I like the beef, but the Tod Tofu is also pretty good."

"The Tofu? You eat tofu?"

"Not as a meal by itself, but as a side dish, sure," Dan fessed up.

"After the steak I saw you put away today at lunch, I'm surprised that you'd like something as light as tofu."

"I'm full of surprises."

"So I'm finding out."

Their discussion over various menu selections continued for several minutes, and by the time the server returned to take their order, they had agreed on several dishes, mains and sides, with a mix of Jasmine and Sweet rice to accompany them.

"There's a cocktail list here, too, Mom. Why don't you choose a cocktail to have later?" Dan suggested.

"Oh, I don't know, love. I haven't had a cocktail in years."

"Feel free to order one if you'd like one," Edward offered. "Tonight's my treat."

"Thank you, Edward. It really is very kind of you to take us out for dinner."

"You're welcome Bella. It's my pleasure."

For the second time that evening, Bella and Edward exchanged looks, and small smiles were reflected on each of their faces.

"So, Edward. Cassie's pretty excited to be coming out in December. She was saying tonight that she and Sammy are going to go shopping for some heavier winter clothes to bring with them when they come," Dan said, wanting to jump start the conversation again.

"Yes, well. Their usual style definitely won't be suitable for this time of year."

"How long will you and the girls be here, Edward?"

"I managed to get tickets for the afternoon of the 25th and we return again on the 2nd."

"So, you'll be here Christmas Day?" Bella asked.

"Very late that evening," Edward agreed, "but all the tickets for the 26th were gone by the time I booked the trip on Wednesday. Still, I negotiated with the family back home, and if we have Christmas Eve celebrations at my place and everyone stays with me, we can still have a fairly traditional Christmas morning before the girls and I have to leave for the airport."

"Where do you usually celebrate Christmas?"

"Usually, we all meet at my parents' place for Christmas lunch. Mom; Esme," he clarified, looking towards Bella, "cooks a huge spread. We usually stay Christmas night at my parents' place and leave the next day."

"Does everyone have the 26th off work?"

"Mostly. My father, Carlisle, is a doctor. He usually does rounds at some time over the Christmas period, but he's semi-retired now, so he tends to set his own hours. My sisters and their husbands operate their own businesses, so they close things down between Christmas and New Year."

"You come from a highly accomplished family judging by the sounds of it."

"They have all done very well for themselves. Alice and Jasper run an office management firm, and Rosalie and Emmett have a car dealership. We get good deals on cars from them."

"That's handy to know," Dan chipped in.

"It has served us well at times," Edward conceded.

"Where are you going to stay when you come to town for Christmas?" Bella asked.

"Well, I was looking into a few hotels in Manchester, actually. Dan thinks he has to work most of the week between Christmas and New Year, so if we stayed in the city there, the girls and I could do touristy things during the work day and still see Dan after work each day without having to factor travel time into the bargain."

"I thought I'd stay in the city with them that week, Mom, rather than commute."

"I see."

"Why don't you join us in the city that week, Bella? I'm yet to finalize the accommodations, so I'm sure we can we work something out."

"Oh, Edward. That's very nice of you, but it's such an expense. Really, I could just drive down and meet you over the week at some point."

"Why don't you join us, Mom? You have the week or so off work. That way you could get to spend some more time with Cassie and really get to know her better, and we could all get together of a night as such."

"Dan. It really is such an expense that time of year. And I doubt Cassie and Sammy, and even you for that matter, Edward, would want me cramping your style over the week."

"Bella, it would be wonderful if you could join us. Seriously. I think the girls would be thrilled."

"I know Cassie would be, Mom. She asked today if you would be coming down and spending any time with us."

"I really don't know, Dan," Bella said, feeling uncomfortable and looking between him and Edward.

"Mom, it would be a great chance for you to spend time with Cassie. You could play tour guide."

Bella sat at the table, torn between wanting to support her son and his desire for her to get to know Cassie better, and feeling self-conscious as being an added expense for Edward. There was no way Bella could really afford the kind of accommodations that Edward would probably be considering. She sat there, momentarily undecided, looking back and forth between the two gentlemen seated at her table. Finally, she agreed.

Turning to Edward, she said, "Thank you, Edward. Your invitation is very kind, and I would love to spend some time getting to know the girls while you are all out here, and it does make sense to stay in the city and not waste so much time traveling. So, yes. I'd love to be included."

"That's wonderful, Bella. Truly, it is. I'll look into finalizing the accommodations tomorrow before I fly out to New York, and I'll let you know what I've been able to arrange."

"That would be lovely. Thank you."

"OK, that's enough gratitude for one night. Bella, did you make a decision about a cocktail for later?"

"No, I haven't."

"What about a South East Asian Surprise, Mom?"

"Ah, I'm not a big fan of Rum, Dan," Bella said, looking over the menu.

"Well, what about a Puket Blue then?"

"No," Bella said, shaking her head and giving a shiver. "Grapefruit – ugh."

Edward laughed out loud at her response. "Well, what about a Golden Temple?" he suggested. "Triple sec, galliano, O.J., and light cream."

"That, I could probably do," Bella said, nodding her head slightly.

"Done. I'll order it for you when the server brings us our meals."

"Okay. A Golden Temple it is then."

"Great. I think you'll enjoy that one, Bella."

"I hope so. I just don't want you to be carrying me outta here into the cab for the ride home."

"That, I think we could handle if it comes to that," Edward whispered conspiratorially.

"Mr Cullen," Bella said in an obviously mockingly formal voice, "that kind of thinking many years ago is what got us to this point in the first place. I'm not quite so willing to go back to that again are you?"

"Definitely not, Ms Swan," Edward replied, matching her tone, amusement evident in his voice. "But just let me say this," he continued softly, all amusement gone, "this weekend is turning out to be a pleasant surprise; even more so than I'd expected."

"From where I sit, I could say the same, Edward."

"Hell," Dan said, joining in the exchange, "in the span of one week, I've gone from being a single-parent child to a two-parent child with extended family. It's a win-win situation for me, too."

"Well, I'm glad we could help you out, Dan," Edward said, winking at Bella.

"I'm pretty happy about it too, Edward. It's turning into more than I had ever hoped for."

* * *

AN:

The Movie "Vamp" does really exist. It was released in 1986. You can Google it.

The Mai Thai Cuisine Restaurant in Hanover, also really exists as do the menu items (including the cocktails) listed in the chapter. I have no idea if it is run by a husband and wife team though – that was creative licence on my part.

So, what do you think? How is Edward ever going to ask the questions he wants to? I have a plan. BWAH…that seems to be the thing to say in these circumstances.

I get a couple of notices each day saying more people have added either me or my story to their alert lists. That's heartening. Thank you to whoever is rec'ing this fic out there.


	26. Chapter 26

SM owns the canon characters – but I changed them and made them into something a little different. Then I mixed in some characters of my own, a storyline that is also just a little different to many others out there and then, with a whole lot of support from readers who have become on-line friends, I am finding out that I like to write and am having a ball doing it.

Happy Birthday Sunfeathers – hope you like the ending.

To Grendel – forever grateful.

Lalina, Sandy and Autumn – I would never have continued on with this journey without the three of you

**Chapter 26 – Maybe, Someday**

"Bella," Edward started after taking a not so casual sip of his wine. "I was wondering if I could ask you something?"

With their main meals finished, Dan had excused himself from the table to visit the men's room while they waited for their desserts. Edward decided to use the time for a private word with Bella.

Bella became instantly apprehensive. Edward could see the change in her demeanour reflected in her expressive, brown eyes. Dan's eyes looked so much like hers.

"Um. Oh. Sure, Edward. Um," Bella stuttered, suddenly finding the stem of her cocktail glass ultimately fascinating.

"I was wondering if you'd be prepared to tell me -," Edward started awkwardly, only to be cut off by Bella.

"Edward. Look. I know I owe you some answers – an explanation – something...I just don't want to have to do that here; now."

"I understand, Bella. I just want to know if -," Edward started again but was cut off once more.

"Edward, please," Bella pleaded, her eyes meeting his. Her distress was evident. "I can't do this now."

Edward looked into Bella's eyes. He saw the rawness there and knew this was neither the time nor the place for details. He just wanted her to understand that he needed to ask some questions at some point. He tried again.

"I appreciate that, believe me. I just need to know if, at some point soon, we can talk about what happened."

"I know there are things you want to know, but this has been a hell of a week for me. I'm trying really hard to hold it all together right now."

"I can see that, but there are questions I'd like to have the chance to ask. Things I need to understand."

"I get that, but please," she pleaded with him yet again. "Please, not now."

"Fair enough," he conceded, "but when, Bella?" he asked, trying to at least get himself something concrete to work with. Edward realized he was pushing her at this point, but his own emotional exhaustion was catching up with him. "This has been a pretty difficult week or so for me, too. I'm flying by the seat of my pants here. I feel like I've been in free fall."

Neither Edward nor Bella, during their brief exchange, had noticed Dan return to the table.

"What's going on?" Dan asked. On the way back from the men's room, he'd noticed Bella and Edward's postures from across the room. He could see the tension and felt it as he got closer.

"Nothing, love," Bella said, trying to reassure him. "Edward and I were just talking," Bella continued, giving Edward a knowing look. "But I am feeling a little tired," she said, finally letting go of her cocktail glass, "and I think I'd really like to call it a night."

"What did you say to her?" Dan challenged Edward, still standing and not willing to be put off by Bella's polite yet unconvincing words.

"Nothing, Dan. I just asked Bella if -," Edward started, but he was once again cut off mid-sentence, but this time by his son.

"Everything was fine. Everything was going just great. I go to the bathroom and I come back to...what?" Dan said, searching for words.

"It's nothing, love. Let's just call it a night."

"I'll get the check," Edward said, pushing his chair back to stand next to his son. Dessert was forgotten.

Dan glanced between his mother and Edward wordlessly.

"Thank you, Edward," Bella responded, returning to her polite but slightly formal tone from earlier in the evening.

"I'll call for a cab, too," Edward remarked.

"Fine."

Edward turned to make his way over to the maitre d's desk.

Dan stared at his mother.

"What happened?" he asked incredulously. "Everything seemed fine when I went to the bathroom. What did he say to you?"

"Not now, Dan," Bella said quietly but clearly.

Dan recognized the tone of his mother's voice. He stared at her mystified as she pushed back her own chair and stood, collecting her handbag on the way.

"Come, love. Help me with my coat would you?" she directed him before she turned and made her way towards the coat rack near the door.

Dan followed behind his mother, his confusion and annoyance evident on his features. He cast a glance over his shoulder watching Edward at the desk speaking quietly with the maitre d' as he helped Bella into her coat.

"What is it, Mom? What's gone wrong?" His whispered voice altered to match his growing distress.

"Dan. Really, it's nothing. Edward just wants a chance to chat privately, that's all."

"Tonight?"

"No. I don't think so. I don't really know," Bella uttered just as quietly, matching Dan's tone.

"But things were going so well," he responded, almost as if to himself. "I'm sure they were. You were both getting along great," Dan said, thinking back over the events of the evening. "Sure, there had been bumpy bits, but nothing we hadn't been able to move beyond. I just don't understand it. Why now?"

"Dan, please," Bella said, reaching out with her hand and resting it on his forearm. She'd adopted the same tone she had used with Edward earlier. "Let's just go home."

"Are you alright?" Dan asked her, catching her eye.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired and worn out, that's all," she smiled lightly, reassuring him. "Come on. Let's go. Edward's waiting for us," Bella noted, looking past Dan's shoulder and seeing Edward standing by the front door.

Dan stepped back and allowed Bella to pass in front of him as she made her way over to the exit. Edward silently pushed the door open for her, giving her passage. He held it open for Dan who followed his mother but not without giving Edward a black look as he passed by. Without as much as a word to either of them, Edward stepped out of the restaurant and into the cold night air.

As luck would have it, the cab Edward had ordered arrived moments later. There was a taxi rank just around the corner and true to the maitre d's word they hadn't had to wait long.

This time, Dan didn't move to sit in the front seat. He held the rear cab door open for his mother and then climbed into the rear seat with her, leaving the front seat for Edward.

The trip back to Bella and Dan's place was a silent one; the air in the cab full of tension.

When they reached the house, Bella politely thanked the driver before opening her door and stepping out of the cab. Dan, again without a word to Edward, smiled briefly at the driver and followed his mother out the door.

"Rough night?" the cab driver inquired jovially as he looked towards Edward, waiting for the fare.

"Something like that," Edward replied vaguely, handing over enough money to cover the charge.

"Good luck with the rest of it then," the driver quipped as he turned to get the change.

"That's alright. Keep it," Edward stated while reaching for the door.

"Thanks for that," the driver said, preparing to take his leave.

Edward exited the cab without further conversation. He closed the door and turned to face the front of the house. Bella and Dan were at the door; Bella was in the process of unlocking it.

Dan glanced at Edward, surprise registering on his face as he noticed the cab begin to pull away.

He spoke briefly to his mother who nodded in return before opening the door and disappearing quickly inside. As Edward made his way up the front path towards the porch, Dan moved to meet him and waited on the top step, effectively blocking his path to the front door.

"What do you want, Edward?" Dan said, his tone clipped.

"I want to speak with your mother, briefly, before I go."

"Don't you think you've done enough of that already tonight?" Dan challenged.

"Dan, I didn't mean to upset her. I just wanted to talk to her and let her know that I wanted to sit down and have a proper chat about things at some stage."

"Well, you have upset her."

"I know. Again, I didn't mean to."

"Bit late for apologies now. It's done."

"Please, Dan. Just a minute or two so that your mom knows that it wasn't my intention."

"No, Edward. You must have seen the look on her face."

"I did."

"She's not in the mood to talk anymore tonight. You'll have to have your little chat some other time," Dan said, his voice sounding cold, and it wasn't due to the weather conditions that surrounded them.

"Dan I just want to know -," Edward began

"This isn't about what you want, Edward," Dan said, beginning to raise his voice. "This is about my Mom and how you've made her feel. I've seen that look on her face before..."

Edward stood on the top step facing his son, remaining silent as he watched a mix of emotions spread over the younger man's face. Dan's face was an open book, something Edward expected he had inherited from his mother. Edward's appearance remained calm, despite the growing discomfort.

"When, Dan?" Edward asked quietly.

Dan looked lost in his own painful memories for the moment. Edward let his words hang in the air between them.

Finally, Dan answered him.

"When I was a kid and knew things were going on, but I was too young to understand what. When I came back from Australia and told her I wanted to look for you. And again this week when I told her that I'd met you."

Dan was speaking aloud but not directly to Edward. He was speaking for his own benefit – his own sense of clarity and understanding.

"I don't like seeing that look on her face."

"I know, Dan. I didn't like seeing it either. That's why I need her to know that I don't want to push her but that I just really need to be able to talk about things when she's ready."

"She doesn't like revisiting the past, Edward. There are things there that she doesn't like to discuss; things that happened that I don't know about. I'm sure of it. But she won't tell me about them. She always just glosses over it."

"I'm not here to hurt her or you, Dan. Ten days ago, I didn't know about any of this."

Dan looked towards his father.

"I know."

"I'm trying my best to get my head around all of this, too. And there is just so much I don't understand. I really need to begin to process some of what happened so many years ago. Why your mother didn't try to find me and tell me that I was going to be a father for one. Things could have been so different. You wouldn't have had to grow up not knowing me. Bella needn't have been alone all these years."

"She hasn't been alone. She's had me," Dan responded, his anger flaring once again; his moment of self-reflection gone. "I've done my best to make sure that she has never been alone."

"I know you have, son," Edward said, using the term aloud with Dan for the first time.

Dan reacted, but it wasn't in a positive way.

"Don't call me that."

"What? Dan?" Edward started, "I know this is all new to both of us, but Dan, you are my son. I am your father."

"You haven't earned the right to call me 'son' yet," Dan bit back.

"Dan, please. Be reasonable."

"A Father is someone who's been around; done things with their kid. Ridden a bike. Thrown a ball. That's what a father does. You haven't done any of those things."

"And whose fault is that?" Edward retorted, his own voice rising, his emotions finally getting the better of him. "I didn't even know I had a son! For twenty-one years you've been around, and I've had no idea. Nothing. This," he said, gesturing at the awkwardness between Dan and himself, "would never be happening if I'd known you even existed."

"Don't you go blaming my Mom for what's happened," Dan responded, his voice rising even more.

"Why not? She had all the choices here. She's the one who kept me away from you both. She made the decisions for all of us."

"She did the best she could!"

"I gather that. But the point is, she didn't ever have to have to do it alone. I would have been there for you both, Dan. Surely you know that by now. I would have been there," Edward lamented, his own distress clearly evident by this point with the frustration and the residual anger from the last ten days finally boiling over.

"But you weren't."

"Not by choice, Dan. Not mine, anyway."

"I don't want her to hurt any more, Edward. She's had enough pain in her life. She's worked hard. She's done well. Just leave her be."

"I can't do that. I can't just leave things be. There are too many things that have just been left _to be_," Edward argued reasonably.

"You're going to hurt her, Edward. You're going to upset her."

"I don't want to do that. I just really need to understand what happened. I'm entitled to that much at least."

"You're _entitled_ to nothing. So you fathered a kid. So what. That doesn't entitle you to _father-of-the-year_ or anything," Dan answered sarcastically.

"Dan, that's unfair."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"What's unfair," Dan continued, unabated, "is that you show up here a week or so later and play all 'concerned parent'. She didn't ask for this. _I_ did this. _I caused this_."

"No, Dan. You haven't caused this. This started a long time ago."

"Because of me. We wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for me. If I hadn't gone off looking for you; if I hadn't gone off to Australia and met Cassie. None of this would have happened." Dan's anger was dissipating, his self-contempt replacing it.

"This isn't your fault, Dan," Edward reasoned.

"Isn't it?"

"No. You are not to blame here. You've had little or no choice about these things, the same as I have."

"I could have chosen not to look for you. I could have chosen to let things be."

"But that wouldn't have been right for any of us, Dan. You did what you did because it was something you needed to find out. There's nothing wrong with that," Edward responded, his own voice calming as he attempted to reach out emotionally and connect with his son.

The two men, father and son, stood there staring at each other, both lost in the gamut of their own emotions. Neither man noticed Bella inside standing by the window, watching their exchange.

Bella had heard everything. She'd heard Dan's defense of her actions. She'd heard Edward's declarations and his anger. She realized that Dan was taking the brunt of Edward's frustrations in an attempt to protect her from further pain and she knew that was wrong.

Stepping away from the curtain and wiping away the tears that had fallen on her cheeks as she'd witnessed the argument between the two men, she moved to the door and opened it, bracing herself against the chill from outside.

Edward saw the front door open from the corner of his eye. He looked away from his son and over to the woman standing just inside the door way.

Dan followed Edward's gaze and noticed his mother standing in the doorway.

"I've told you before, Dan. None of this has ever been your fault," Bella said quietly, looking directly at her son.

"Mom," Dan said as he moved towards her, stopping just short, unsure whether to reach out to her or not.

"You need to come inside, love," she said softly to him before looking across to Edward. "You both do," she finished a little louder.

"Mom, I -," Dan started, wanting to apologise for what had happened. He could see how upset she was. He suspected she had overheard everything that had been said between himself and Edward.

"Dan, come inside," she said, cutting him off before stepping back and giving him room to pass.

Dan hesitated briefly before glancing back towards Edward and then crossing the threshold.

"You, too, Edward. Please. Come inside out of the cold."

"Are you sure, Bella?" Edward asked. He was indeed feeling the cold now, but it had more to do with the balancing of his extreme emotions and the loss of adrenaline now that he had started to calm down.

"I'm sure, Edward. Please," she said again for good measure.

Edward offered her a polite smile and finally took that last step onto the porch. He stood back, allowing her to enter the house before he did. He then closed the door against the night once he was inside.

The three of them stood in the little foyer of Bella's house, awkward as hell. They were still wearing their coats and no one knew what to do next. After a moment or two of continued silence and uncomfortable glances amongst them, Bella took control.

"Dan, Edward and I need a moment alone, love. Can you give us some time, please?"

"Mom, I don't want you to be any more upset than you already are. I'm sorry that tonight has turned out like this," he said, glancing pointedly at Edward.

"This isn't your fault, love. You've got nothing to apologize for."

"You're upset, Mom."

"Tonight has been a long time coming, Dan. And I shouldn't have let you do what you did out there. Edward's right. We need to talk, and that is how it should be, just Edward and me, at this point. You shouldn't have to be involved in that."

"But I am involved, Mom. You can't keep me out of this. This is all about me."

"No it's not, love. This is about Edward and me, and our past. You're not involved in that."

"How can you say that?"

"Because there are things Edward and I, and just Edward and I, need to talk about."

"But they involve me. I'm not just some errant child you can send to my room, Mom."

Bella reached for her son and placed her hands on his forearms. She knew what she was about to do would hurt him and he so didn't deserve that, but Edward was right. There were things they needed to discuss, and there were things she never wanted Dan to hear.

"I know you're not, love. You never have been. I just need you to do this...for me. Please."

Dan looked stricken. He was torn between wanting to protect his mother from the pain any talk with Edward might bring and wanting to be angry at her for treating him like a child and making him leave the room. He looked from his mother to Edward and back again, trying to gauge the mood of the room and Edward's intentions. What he saw reflected in Edward's eyes was a mixture of pain and sympathy. There was no hostility there anymore.

"Fine," he finally sighed, borrowing a phrase from his mother's repertoire. "I'll be in the kitchen." He wouldn't go to his room.

"Thank you, love," Bella said, squeezing his arm in appreciation.

"You hurt her and I'll be straight back in here," he said to Edward pointedly.

Edward nodded silently. He understood Dan's warning, but he couldn't make any promises to him. He had no control over how Bella would react to his idea.

With a final look at his mother, Dan turned and made his way toward the kitchen, shrugging out of his coat on the way and tossing it haphazardly over the back of the sofa as he passed. Bella and Edward watched him go.

"You have a fine young man there, Bella," Edward said, paying her a compliment. "He loves you very much."

"I know," Bella said softly as she watched Dan move out of sight. "I hate that he's hurting over this."

"I do, too, Bella. It's not what I want. Not at all."

Turning to face him, Bella spoke softly yet again.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"I just need to talk to you, Bella. Nothing more. Just to be given the chance to understand what happened twenty-one years ago."

Bella nodded her head in acceptance.

"Come, sit down. Can I get you a coffee or something?"

"No. I'm alright, thanks."

Edward began to move towards the living room only to stop once he realized he was still wearing his coat. So was Bella.

"Can I take your coat for you?" he asked.

"Yes. Right. Thanks," Bella replied distractedly, and she turned automatically as she began to slip it off her shoulders.

"Here, let me help," Edward said, moving closer and slipping his fingers into the neckline of the dark wool coat to help slip it off her shoulders. Those fingers, the ones Bella had noticed over dinner as he'd held his wine glass so delicately, gently brushed against the soft skin at the back of her neck. She closed her eyes at the sensation of his touch on her skin. She inhaled slowly, trying to calm her nerves and her reaction to that simple touch. It tied knots in her belly that she hadn't expected.

She opened her eyes as Edward gently slipped the coat down her arms and took its weight in his own hands.

"Thank you," she said quietly, glancing briefly over her shoulder before she moved off into the living room to wait for him to join her.

_Breathe Bella_, she told herself as she tried to calm her nerves, exacerbated by the sensation of his touch that still lingered on her neckline. _Get a grip woman_, she scolded herself. _Focus_.

Bella waited for Edward to enter the room before she took a seat in the single chair near the fireplace.

Taking his cue from her, Edward sat in the opposing chair, but instead of sitting back into a relaxed position, he sat forward and balanced his elbows on his knees while resting his chin on his clasped hands.

"I didn't mean to upset you at the restaurant, Bella. I'm sorry for that," he started.

Bella nodded her head in response before finding her voice.

"It's alright, Edward. I've been waring in my head all week about what I need to tell you and what you would want to ask me. There's been a battle going on in my head for days. I just didn't want to let it all out at the restaurant, that's all," Bella said. She was aware of Dan's presence in the kitchen. She deliberately kept her voice low and quiet.

"I know what that feels like – to have that battle going on up here," he said tapping his temple and responding quietly himself. "It's exhausting."

"Yes, it is."

"I didn't expect you to answer my questions at the restaurant, you know," Edward continued. "I really just wanted to let you know that I have some and I'd like to get answers sometime soon, but I understand if this is all too fresh to answer straight away."

"Fresh. Interesting term since, as you pointed out to Dan outside, there has been twenty-one years or so in the interim."

"Only for you, Bella. You've had twenty odd years to deal with all this. Me? I've had about ten days tops."

"I'm sorry."

Edward looked at Bella. He was unsure what she was apologizing for. His expression told her as much.

"I'm sorry that I didn't find you and tell you. I had my reasons, and being sorry now won't change the past, but I am sorry."

"Why didn't you try and find me, Bella?"

"I was young and scared. And it was a couple of months before I put two and two together...pretty stupid, huh?" she smirked in self-deprecation. "Anyway, by that time, I assumed, amongst other things, that you'd be long gone."

"I've always lived in California, Bella. You would have been able to find me easily enough, if you'd tried."

"What? With only a nickname and a band name?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Dan managed to do it."

"But that is now, Edward. Back then, I didn't even have a cell phone, let alone Internet and email. And I wasn't in California. I was back in Forks dealing with...stuff."

"Stuff like an unexpected pregnancy?"

"Among other things."

Edward sensed her hesitation to say anything more, but he tried to encourage her.

"What other things, Bella?"

Bella just shook her head in response, and Edward sighed audibly, unable to hide his disappointment.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I will explain things more, in time, but not now," she said, gesturing with her head towards the kitchen.

Edward nodded silently. He wouldn't push her any more. It was obvious she didn't want Dan to hear anything further at this point.

Silence settled on the room, and Edward returned to resting his chin on his hands, his pointer fingers extending over his lips, his thumbs under his chin. It was his thinking position. After a few moments, he spoke.

"Last night, after Alice's phone call, I couldn't sleep. My brain was in overdrive trying to work through things and all the conflicting emotions I was experiencing. So, I did something my therapist told me to do years ago. I wrote my thoughts down on paper," he said, hedging around what he's wanted to say all night.

Bella was looking at him from her seat. She didn't respond, so Edward continued.

"I wrote down a list of questions I have been mulling over since last weekend. They're not in any set order or priority or list of importance, but they are important to me," he said quietly. "If you're willing, I'd like to leave them here with you. You don't have to answer them straight away or anything," Edward said quickly, raising his hands in a sign of supplication, noting the look of alarm that had appeared on Bella's face, "but maybe you could look them over and email me at some point with some answers? Not all at once or anything like that. Take it a question at a time if you like. But just something, Bella. Anything, so that I can try and begin to understand."

Bella's expression changed from one of alarm to sadness. Her pulse quickened even as she listened to Edward's quiet pleading for information about her past. The idea of having to revisit some of those dark times scared her no end. She never went back to those places if she could help it. Even this week when she had shared her story with Jessica, she hadn't been entirely honest with her – there were some parts she'd deliberately withheld – and Bella intuitively suspected that Edward would be able to see through her attempts to withhold information from him. She tried unsuccessfully to blink back tears and quickly brushed them away with the tips of her fingers as she looked at him and nodded her head, acknowledging his request.

"Bella, please don't cry. I don't want to be the big bad ogre here. Please don't see it that way."

"It's OK, Edward. I get where you are coming from. Like I said earlier, this has been a long time coming. For me at least," she conceded. She continued very quietly, so quietly in fact that Edward had to strain to hear her. "Some things were very difficult for me back then. Dan knows next to nothing of them. It's a dark place to have to revisit."

"I promise you, Bella. Whatever you decide to share with me - whatever part of your story you trust me with - will be kept in complete confidence. I won't tell another soul. Not Dan. Not Alice. Nobody. You can trust me, I promise you that."

Bella looked at Edward and wiped away yet more stray tears.

"I believe that. Thank you, Edward. I'll remember that."

Edward nodded. There seemed little else he could say at this point.

Bella took a deep breath before speaking next.

"Do you have the list on you?"

"The questions?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"May I see them?"

Edward reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved the piece of paper he had placed there before leaving his room earlier tonight. He stood and crossed the room to Bella, silently extending his hand and offering the folded piece of paper to her.

She stood and took it from him before turning her back to him and walking across to the window. She stopped there and leaned back against the sill while she opened the piece of paper.

Edward held his breath without knowing it. He stared at her intently, looking for some sign on her face as her eyes wandered over the list in front of her.

Her eyes did bear witness to her emotions as she read the list. They narrowed and crinkled at the corners just slightly at some questions and opened quite wide while she read others. Edward recognized again that evening that the age old saying was indeed true – the eyes are indeed the window to the soul. And Bella's soul, Edward suspected, was kind, pure and honest but also sad and afraid.

He spoke up.

"Any question...any time...any order. Your choice."

"Thank you," she said simply, still staring at the paper. "Your mind really was all over the place last night, wasn't it?"

"I'll say."

"What did Alice say to you?" Bella inquired, looking at him for the first time.

"It wasn't so much what she said as what she made me remember. Like I said, it's been a tough week for me, too. I've experienced a range of emotions this week, as I suspect you have."

"This is true," she acknowledged. "Can you write your email address down for me?" Bella asked.

"Sure," Edward replied, extending his hand. "I'll put it on the same page if you like."

"That would be good," Bella said, handing him back the paper.

Edward quickly pulled a pen from his pocket and scribbled his email at the top of the page and then handed it back to her.

"I suppose you want mine, too?" Bella asked.

"That would be rather handy wouldn't it?"

"I'll write it down for you." Bella moved to the side table near her sofa and tore off a piece of note paper and wrote down her email address before handing it back to Edward.

"Thank you," he said simply before continuing. "Bella, no doubt you will have questions for me at some point. I don't see this as being a one-way thing. Since you're prepared to share with me, I'll share with you what you want to know about me. It's only fair."

"I suppose. I hadn't really thought about it."

"Dan's our son, Bella. We may never have a close relationship, but it's inevitable that we will have a relationship of some kind, even if it's nothing more than shared parenting."

"You've given this quite a bit of thought haven't you?"

"Yes."

"You're a step ahead of me then."

"Actually, Bella, I feel incredibly behind the eight ball and am just trying desperately to catch up."

Again, Bella nodded her head. There was nothing she could really say to that.

"I meant what I said last night, Bella. I want to be involved in Dan's life from here on out. I want to get to know the man he is and the boy he used to be. It won't be like living it first hand, but it is the best I can hope for at this point. His childhood remains, by and large, a mystery to me. I hope, over time, to learn as much as I can about it. His future, for now, is something I can be a part of."

"For now?" Bella questioned.

"I don't suspect this is going to be plain sailing for any of us. I suspect there are going to be quite a few rough patches along the way. I don't have rose-colored glasses on. It's going to take a lot of work to establish trust and commitment here, but I intend to, with both of you. The thing is, I may not get it right despite my best intentions. I've been alone a long time, Bella. My own niece describes me as a recluse. I don't think I am, but I don't need the company of large numbers of people. I like my own space. I love my family and have a few close friends, but that's about it. This is going to be a challenge for me in more ways than one, too. Chances are I am going to mess things up somewhere along the line."

"Dan seems pretty impressed by you so far, so you're not doing too badly, yet."

"That's good to know, but I suspect tonight will have put quite a dent in the suit of armor I'm wearing."

"I'll talk to him. Explain things."

"I'd appreciate that. He was in protective mode outside and back at the restaurant. I don't think he'd listen to me at the moment, even if I tried."

"He means well."

"I know that, and it is a credit to you that he is so assertive when it comes to you. You know, last weekend, he refused to talk about you to my family at all. Point blank. He said...let me see if I can get this right: "My mother is not the topic of conversation here", or something like that. I have a feeling he would definitely defend you whenever and wherever it was needed."

"Why did he feel the need to defend me last weekend?"

"Some of the others wanted to know a little bit about you, but Dan wouldn't budge. He said your story was yours to tell, and he wouldn't be the one to do it. I had a tough time getting him to talk about you even when it was just him and me. He loves you, Bella. There's no doubt there."

"He's a good kid, except he's not a kid anymore. Yet, when I look at him, I still see a little boy with skinned knees at times."

Edward smiled wistfully at that comment. For him, it was another reminded of the years he had missed out on.

"I'd like to learn about some of those memories, given the chance," he said, a little despondently.

"I promise you, Edward. I will start to look at those questions this week. Some of them will be easier for me to answer than others, but I promise to answer all of them, in time."

"That's all I can ask for, Bella. Thank you," he said softly, offering her a small smile, which she returned in kind.

"Well," he said, rubbing his hands together gently, "It's been a big day, and it's getting late. Since I didn't get much sleep last night, I think I might call it a night."

"I'll see if Dan can give you a lift back to your hotel."

"No, Bella. Don't. Give him his space and some time. I suspect he will be much more interested in seeing if you're alright than he will be in playing chauffer to me. He was going to pick me up in the morning and drive me back to Manchester, but if he doesn't want to do that, I'll understand. Really. Just ask him to call me in the morning."

"Edward, I'm sure he'll want to spend some more time with you tomorrow."

"Yeah. Well, we'll see. I'd like the talk to him if I get the chance, but if it's not to be...," he left his sentence unfinished. "Just give me a minute to call a cab, and then I'll be out of your hair."

Edward turned his back on Bella and used his cell phone to call a cab.

"Shouldn't be long," he said. "I'll just get my coat."

Edward moved off toward the foyer and removed his coat from the coat rack.

He was putting it on when Bella spoke next.

"Edward," Bella said from nearby.

Edward turned to face her and was surprised to find her standing closer than he'd expected.

"I want to thank you. Not only for being respectful to my feelings in all of this, but for also not rejecting Dan outright when you found out who he was. I really can't imagine what that must have been like for it to happen in front of your whole family like that. There are just no words for that kind of thing. I am sorry that you had to find out this way."

Bella looked like she wanted to say something else but held back, so Edward wanted to reassure her of his promise.

He reached up and touched her upper arm with one hand, giving it a gentle squeeze followed by a small rub.

"I meant what I said, Bella. You can trust me. I promise you that. Anything you tell me in confidence will never be repeated to anyone. Ever. I have waited my whole adult life to be a parent, and while this isn't the way I ever expected for it to happen, if this is my one shot at it, I hope to do it as best as I can."

Bella nodded her head and then crossed her arms over her chest, almost as if to ward off a chill. Her fingertips touched Edward's before he let go of her arm, and once again, she felt the unusual tightening in the pit of her stomach at that simple connection. It confused her.

"Will you say goodnight to Dan for me?" Edward asked her.

"Sure."

"There's no need," Dan said, coming into view from around the corner.

Edward looked up to meet his son's gaze as Bella turned to face Dan.

"How long have you been there, Dan," Bella asked, obviously not happy to have been eavesdropped upon.

"Not long, Mom. I heard Edward call for the cab, so I came out to say goodbye."

Dan looked at Edward directly.

"Would you still like me to take you to the airport in the morning?"

"I would, if you don't mind."

"Nah. That's fine. I'll pick you up at ten?"

"Sounds good."

Their brief exchange was interrupted by the sound of a car horn.

"There's my cab," Edward said, not really needing to explain. "I'd best be off."

"I'll see you in the morning, Dan. And Bella? Thank you. Very much. For everything," Edward said, staring at Bella intently.

"Goodnight, Edward. Travel safely."

"''Night, Edward," Dan said, putting a possessive hand on his mother's shoulder as Edward moved towards the door.

"Goodnight," Edward replied, Dan's gesture not lost on Edward.

He stepped out into the cold night air and walked down the front steps towards the waiting cab.

The cab ride back to the hotel was a silent affair, and for that, Edward was grateful.

Once he made his way back to his hotel room, he took off his coat and headed to the bathroom to prepare for bed. While he brushed his teeth, he reflected upon the evening and the turn of events it brought about. A sudden thought entered his mind, and he decided to act on it immediately.

He went to the small desk in his room and turned on his laptop. As it started up, he went in search of his iPod and then connected it, preparing to look for a song he'd thought about.

He found the song and loaded the audio file as an email attachment. He then crossed to his coat to retrieve Bella's email address and typed it in. He hesitated before hitting the send button. He hoped that this song would convey his sincerity and put behind them, once and for all, the awkwardness that arose during their time at the restaurant. It was part apology and part promise. He hoped Bella saw it that way.

Back in her room, unable to sleep, Bella took out Edward's list of questions and began to compose answers to some of them in her head. Deciding there was no time like the present, she decided to begin writing some of her responses down–putting them on paper so to speak. She pulled out her lap top and started it up. For no reason other than habit, she opened her email to see a small list pop up in her inbox.

One was from Edward Cullen.

Bella clicked on the email to read the following message.

* * *

FROM: Edward Cullen

TO: Bella Swan

Subject: My promise with hope for the future

Message: Someday mp3

* * *

There was no text, just a link to an audio file.

Bella clicked on it.

A song, Someday, by Rob Thomas began to play.

Bella listened to it, and the tears came, unbridled.

******************

_**Rob Thomas **_**Someday.**** Atlantic Records (2009)**

You can go  
You can start all over again  
You can try to find a way to  
make another day go by  
You can hide  
Hold all your feelings inside  
You can try to carry on when all  
you want to do is cry

And maybe someday  
We'll figure all this out  
Try to put an end to all our doubt  
Try to find a way to make  
things better now and  
Maybe someday we'll live  
our lives out loud  
We'll be better off somehow Someday

Now wait  
And try to find another mistake  
If you throw it all away  
then maybe you can change  
your mind  
You can run, oh  
And when everything is over and done  
You can shine a little light on  
everything around you  
Man it's good to be someone

And I don't want to wait  
I just want to know  
I just want to hear you tell me so  
Give it to me straight  
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday  
We'll figure all this out  
We'll put an end to all our doubt  
Try to find a way to just  
feel better now and  
Maybe someday we'll live  
our lives out loud  
We'll be better off somehow Someday

Cause sometimes we don't really notice  
Just how good it can get  
So maybe we should start all over  
Start all over again

* * *

AN:

It never ceases to amaze me just how generous many people are in fanficdom. Really, it is a very humbling experience as a first time writer, to have people encourage and support me and be prepared to "chat" with me along the way. Thank you all for reading and thank you to those of you who take the time to PM me or review my story. Reading each and every one is special.

For those of you that aren't familiar with this song, come visit the thread over on twi.

Erica – get well bb. There are a lot of us thinking of you and your family, everyday.

Leis


	27. Chapter 27

Hello everyone. Thanks for you patience.

Kudos to Sandy, Lalina and Grendel.

SM owns...I like to write my own version...

* * *

**Chapter 27 – Opening a door**

Bella sat staring at her computer screen – a war of words was being fought in her head.

_Go on, Bella, hit the send button. You've written it. Now send it._

Careful now, Bella. This could open up a can of worms you've never wanted to deal with.

_That can of worms opened up a week ago. It's time to put the past to bed once and for all. Send it. _

What if he's not prepared to settle for the basics? What if he wants to know more? Dig deeper?

_You've done nothing in your life that you should be ashamed of, Bella. You've made the most of every opportunity presented to you and worked really hard to get to where you are. Apologize to no one for being who you are. Stand up for yourself. Send it._

Do you think he's really going to just accept your explanations so easily?

_Getting angry about things in the past won't change them – he knows that. What's done is done. He just wants to understand what happened, that's all. He's a reasonable man, Bella. He'll understand._

But what if he doesn't?

_So what if he doesn't? The relationship he wants is with Dan, not you. You don't have to have much to do with him if you don't want to. Dan's a big boy. He can handle a relationship with the both of you independently if it comes to that._

Do you really want to put Dan in a position like that? One where he has to tread a fine line between his parents? Do any of you want to be forced to walk that tightrope? Somebody could fall. Somebody could get hurt.

_Haven't you all been hurt enough over the years? Dan's still hurting. Even now, Bella, this is causing him pain. His mind is divided. He wants to be loyal to you, but he wants to get to know his father. He shouldn't have to do one at the expense of the other._

You owe Dan this, Bella. He has paid enough of a price for your decisions. He's grown up without a father, without his dad. Don't make him face the future without him, too. That'd just be cruel.

_You're not cruel, Bella. You're a mom. You've done what you've done because you were trying to protect your child and give him the best future you could provide. Dan loves you. He's not going to walk away from you._

But how's Dan going to feel if he finds out the truth? If he finds out that you resented him and even hated his intrusion into your life and your plans? How's he going to handle that? How's Dan going to feel knowing you thought about terminating the pregnancy or giving him away? What's Edward going to think if he learns how close you came to doing that?

_But you didn't, Bella. You didn't. You loved him, you kept him, and you cherished him. You still do. Dan will understand, Bella. Nobody's perfect. Not even you, despite the high expectations you have of yourself. Everyone has their weak moments, girl. Face them and move on. Send it. It will set you free._

Bella felt as if she was the third party in an argument between two distinctly different parts of her psyche – her ego at war with her id. She could almost imagine two mini-Bellas sitting on either shoulder nattering away. Each had an opinion; each opinion valid.

Bottom line? Bella had to make a decision.

To send or not to send? That was the question.

Bella got up and walked away from her computer. She'd been sitting at the desk in her bedroom in front of the laptop for the last two hours, one hour of which was spent composing her first email to Edward in response to some of his questions from the list he had left with her. The second hour had been spent mediating the duel between her alter egos.

Bella went and stood next to the drapes at her window looking out into the night. It was late Monday night around 11 p.m. She'd had an early dinner with Dan and retired to bed intent on sending her first email to Edward.

Dan had driven Edward back into Manchester Sunday morning as arranged. Bella had been relieved when he'd returned home later that night and told her that the time he had spent with Edward that day hadn't been too awkward. She had been concerned after their confrontation the night before on the front steps of her home that Dan and Edward's newfound connection might have taken quite a hit. Dan had assured her, after she had spoken to him later on that same evening once Edward had left, that he would be civil and respectful when he collected him the next day to drive him to the airport. Bella knew how much Dan wanted to protect her from pain. She also realized and finally accepted that, despite all her assertions to the contrary over the years, Dan still believed he was responsible for some of the hurt in Bella's past. That fact had been driven home to her with remarkable clarity when Edward and Dan had argued.

Dan had told her that he'd gone with Edward to book rooms for all of them at the Radisson Hotel in Manchester for his and the girls' intended visit in December. Edward had booked four rooms on the same floor, which made Bella feel uncomfortable. It wasn't the proximity of the rooms but rather the cost. She had mentioned as much to Edward in her email she had yet to send.

She crossed the room again and stood in front of her computer. Impulsively, and without further deliberation, she reached forward and clicked the Send icon. Bella didn't even re-read the contents of the email. She'd done that plenty in the last hour or so already.

Sighing heavily, Bella walked away and into her bathroom to ready herself for bed.

_What's done is done, now_, a little voice told her.

_It will be alright, Bella. He will understand_, its counterpart consoled her.

_Too bad if he doesn't. The wheels are in motion. The sled's on the slope. The journey has begun._

_This journey began 22 years ago, silly. __It's just come full circle, that's all._

Bella looked at her reflection in the mirror. She fully expected to see these little people perched on her shoulders. She smiled at herself and her own silliness.

"Get over yourself, Bella," she said aloud into the silent room.

************

Edward was in his studio music room. It was an unusually warm evening, despite the time of year, so he worked with the door open.

He stretched and arched his back trying to untie the knots in his shoulders that had developed during the last few hours.

He was working on a new adaptation of an original score. It was the project he had gone to New York to investigate and the excuse he had used to cross the country and reconnect with Bella. The producers for a new Broadway show had asked him to take a look at the classic musical, Oklahoma. They hoped to get the Australian multi-talented actor and singer, Hugh Jackman, to sign on for the project, but knew that Hugh, with his musical background, would want to listen to some of the arrangement before committing to it. Edward was in the early stages of reworking the original, modernizing it without altering the original flow or timbre of the score. It was no easy task and he was tired and achy from having sat still for so long while trying to recreate what he heard in his head onto manuscript.

He walked out into the evening air and let the sound of the water soothe him. It worked its magic like it always did, and within minutes, he could feel the tension ripple away from him. He walked to the edge of his small yard and looked out over the water towards the lights on the horizon that showed where Catalina Island lay.

Edward stood silently watching the twinkling lights and listening to the sounds of the waves lap gently on the shore. He wasn't at all surprised to find his mind drift back towards his weekend with Dan and Bella. He had mixed feelings about his time with them. He was really happy to be able to spend some quality time with Dan and get to see him on his own turf, so to speak. He liked seeing him relax with his friend, Chris, and Edward felt he got to see and know the real Dan during that time. He was somewhat different to the quietly spoken, yet assertive, young man he had met for the first time on that fateful Thanksgiving. Dan remained polite and self-confident, two traits that Edward deeply admired in the young man, but he was also relaxed and seemingly carefree when he was with Chris.

It had upset Edward more than he had expected when he and Dan had argued late on the Saturday night after dinner at the restaurant. Edward hadn't meant to push Bella so hard, and he'd chastised himself for letting his own emotions get the better of him at the time. Dan, not surprisingly, had come to his mother's defense, and really, truth be told, Edward shouldn't have expected anything different.

He'd thought a great deal about that particular disagreement since leaving New England. Dan had reacted to Edward calling him 'son' and that had hurt, too. Again, he shouldn't have been surprised – it was a first for the both of them. Edward had grown used to the idea of having a son and had rehearsed the term over and over in his mind during the week prior. It had slipped out without conscious thought on his part when he and Dan were arguing. Carlisle always used the term when referring to either Edward or his sons-in-law, and it just came with the territory. Edward was accustomed to hearing it. Dan, however, wasn't.

Edward has also been pained to witness first hand just how much Dan considered himself responsible for Bella's anguish. When Edward had tried to reassure Dan that he was in no way accountable for the events of the evening, Dan had brushed his words aside. Deep down, Dan knew things were amiss. Edward wasn't any clearer about what those things were than Dan was, but still, Dan knew there were things from the past affecting his mother, and he blamed himself for causing them.

Edward had been annoyed at Bella for allowing Dan to face the brunt of his frustrations, hiding inside as she had, or so it had seemed at the time. It was almost as if Bella and Dan had reversed roles; Dan becoming the parent and Bella the child. Edward still wondered if this had been a pattern in their relationship over the years and thought that it may go a long way to explaining why Dan appeared mature beyond his 21 years.

When Bella had come out to face them both and then invited him inside, Edward had been relieved to hear that she wasn't at all opposed to talking to him but that she didn't want to have that particular conversation in front of Dan. Bella had intimated that there were things Dan didn't know and things she would never want him to know. Edward didn't understand what those things were, but Bella's admission confirmed for him that Dan's suspicions of a dark time in Bella's past were pretty close to the mark.

It was then that Edward had decided he'd just leave his questions with her, rather than expect her to answer them that weekend. He could see the relief in Bella's eyes when he'd suggested email as a forum for their conversations. Edward hoped that in time their communications wouldn't have to take such a formal or structured tone, but for the time being, email provided an effective and safe way to converse.

When he'd handed Bella his list of questions, he had almost smiled at her surprise when she'd registered not only the length of the list but also their apparent lack of continuity. Edward had to admit that when he had written them after his phone call with Alice his mind had been all over the place and that the list really hadn't been intended for anyone else's eyes at the time. He'd hope to be able to use it as a focus for himself so that he wouldn't forget things. He'd never planned to give it to anyone else, let alone, Bella.

Edward smiled now as he remembered some of the questions on the list. What was Dan's first word? How old was he when he took his first steps? Did he cry on his first day at school? Has he ever broken a limb?

And then there were the other types of questions. How did you manage financially on your own? Did your parents always support you? How did you manage to go through teacher's college and look after a child? And the big one...did you ever try to find me?

Edward kicked at the grass under his feet. That last question still made his guts twist into a knot. Did she? Did she ever try to locate him? Did she ever even consider that he might want to know?

This is where Edward's mixed emotions from the weekend really stemmed. He was torn between wanting to get to know Dan and his mother better, and wanting to hate her for keeping Dan from him for all these years. It didn't help either that he seemed to lose all sense of purpose when he was near her. His anger at their situation, which could build to almost boiling point when he was by himself, would almost dissipate entirely when he was in her presence. Bella unnerved him in ways he hadn't felt in years. Her eyes were expressive; her features so easy to read. There were times over the weekend when he just wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her, reassuring her that he wasn't there to make things harder for any of them. Obviously, there had been enough pain for all of them over the years. He didn't want the future, whatever that may hold for them all, to be filled with more anxiety and anguish. Edward considered his future for the first time in years to be something light and bright. He wanted Bella to feel the same about her future and not see him as some dark cloud looming on the horizon, hanging over them all. That's why he'd sent her the song by Rob Thomas. In his mind, it gave the right message. He hoped that Bella understood its meaning, too.

Edward took one last long, deep breath of cool night air into his lungs before turning and making his way back towards his music studio. He intended to call it a night. He'd worked long enough for the day and his traveling from the weekend left him feeling more than a little tired. He proceeded to pack away the array of instruments he had dabbled with during the course of the evening, and once that was done, he went to his computer to shut it down. That's when he noticed he had a new email message waiting for him in his Inbox.

It was from Bella.

He immediately opened it, all thoughts of locking up and retiring for the evening gone.

* * *

TO: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Hello

Hello, Edward.

I am glad that you had a good day with Dan yesterday and that you made it to your flight to New York on time. As I told you over the weekend, Dan can be notoriously late for things, and aircraft wait for no man. So, I'm glad it worked out.

How did your meeting go? Dan mentioned that you were considering doing more work on this side of the country. I must admit, I am a little vague about what it is that you do exactly. Dan said you are a composer of sorts. What does that mean – a composer of sorts? When I hear the word 'composer', I think of old men with ties in their hair, thick coats, sitting on a piano stool with coat tails flipped out behind them. Oh, and long white socks with black buckled shoes...you don't exactly fit that bill...

Dan also said that you have booked accommodations for your visit in December. Dan is very excited about that trip. He longs to see Cassie again. I don't know how he will ever save the money for another airfare when he spends so much on phone calls, but you can't put a price on modern love, can you?

Speaking of money...I suspect that the rooms at that time of year would be rather expensive. I really would like to be able to contribute towards the cost. It isn't right that you should have to fund that bill yourself. Can you please let me know how much my room will be for the week so that I can arrange to either pay the Radisson directly or forward the money to you? Thanks for that.

Yes...well...onto some of your questions.

I actually sat down Sunday night to begin answering them when I your email came in.

That song was lovely, and so was the sentiment.

"Tell it to me straight...tell it to me slow."

Those words hit home to me...and I promise to do my best.

Now, if you'll bear with me, I'll answer some of the easier ones first...

How old was Dan when he walked? Ten months. Yes, it was early by all accounts, but he was surrounded by other children, most of who were up and walking around, and I guess he was just impatient to get going. I was working part-time at a child care center and took a salary cut in lieu of paying for Dan's his child care so that he could come to work with me. It worked out alright because he could spend the day with me, even if I was working. I didn't actually see his first steps...I was busy changing another child's diaper at the time. I had seen him practice plenty but not actually walk on his own. One of the other assistants there told me that he took five steps unaided. I was upset to have missed it, but then again, not every parent gets to see their child do all their firsts do they?

His first word? "Hello"...actually, it was more like "lello", but I knew what he meant. I used to greet him every time he woke up by going in to him, and the first thing I would say was "Hello little man." Well, I guess, he was trying to say it back to me. He was around eleven months old, I think. I should have written things like this down, but I didn't. I remember it clearly though. He was wearing striped Ernie pajamas (you know, Ernie from Sesame Street?)

Broken limbs? No...touch wood...but he did get stitches once...He was eight, and he stood on a fish hook one time when he went fishing with my Dad. I don't know who was more upset about it to tell you the truth...my Dad or Dan...but still...it had to get cut out 'cause Dad had panicked, and even though he had dealt with fish hooks for most of his life, he pulled it out the wrong way and made things ten times worse...and Dan ended up having to have it removed by a doctor and got four stitches for the effort. I suppose he still has the scar...you should ask him...it's been years since I have been anywhere near Dan's feet...My Dad was distraught...worse than Dan even...the doctor had to give him a sedative in the end. So much for the tough Police Chief, huh? We used to make fun of him about it in the family, but never in front of the towns folk. It was one of the few times in my life I had ever seen my father cry – not that he'd admit to it.

Dan's name? You know...I really don't know...I just liked it. Strong and simple. No one could shorten it...it suited him. I just looked into his eyes that first time, and the name came into my head. It seemed right.

OK, now at this point, I have made a deal with myself...some easy ones first, and a not so easy one next...

Why didn't I tell you I was pregnant? I didn't know you. I couldn't remember your name...in fact, I don't think I ever knew you as anything other than Eddie...I definitely don't remember, Cullen – even now that I know it's your name, it doesn't ring any bells for me. I was a couple of months along before I put anything together...pretty lame huh? But I was young and naive and incredibly stupid it turns out...and there was no way I was going to admit to anyone that I had gotten drunk and smoked dope and lost my virginity to some random band guy. My father would have hunted you down and killed you with his double-barreled shotgun...or at the very least, made you marry me. I was experiencing enough strife without having to deal with that. I never told anyone anything about you. Not my mother, definitely not my father and not the so-called friends that I went away with. Nobody knew and I wanted to keep it that way. In my head, I believed I was doing the right thing. Why compound the situation with more problems?

In hindsight, I made a wrong choice. My parents went to their graves never knowing the truth. That is something I live with to this day. I'd disappointed them enough, especially my father. I believed I was doing the right thing not adding to that.

I am sorry that I never looked for you to tell you. You are right. You had a right to know.

Bella.

* * *

"Wow," Edward said aloud, as he leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

He re-read the email twice before sitting forward wondering if it was appropriate to send a reply immediately. He looked at his watch. It was 10:30 p.m. his time, which meant that it was well after Midnight in Lebanon, N.H.

_Bella wouldn't be up now_, he reasoned with himself. _No need to reply straight away. I can do it in the morning and just let this settle in for a bit._

Edward closed the email program and shut down his computer. He disconnected the cables from the back of it, lamenting yet again that he hadn't bothered to set up a wireless system in his house. He had always reasoned with himself that with an Internet connection in almost every room, it really wasn't necessary, but there were times that cables just annoyed the hell out of him.

Edward locked up his studio and moved through the night back towards his house carrying his laptop with him. He let himself in and locked up behind him before going about his nightly routine and getting ready for bed. The thing was, he was no longer tired. Bella's email had woken him up, and now he was alert and didn't think he would be able to sleep.

Edward decided to go back downstairs and retrieve his laptop from where he had left it on the kitchen counter when he'd passed through the house.

Once he had settled himself into bed, he fired up his laptop and opened the email he'd read just a short time ago. Cursing under his breath, he realized he had left his glasses in the studio.

_Well,_ he thought_, there's one sure way to deal with that_, and he went about enlarging the screen view to 125%. There was no way he was getting out of bed this time of night to go to the studio just for his glasses.

Edward read Bella's email again, noticing for the first time the way the tone of her words seemed to change throughout. At first, she seemed quite formal, but then was almost casual and relaxed when she spoke about Dan. Yet, the last paragraph was almost...what was the word he was looking for...self-deprecating? Was that it?

Edward clicked the Reply button and set about composing a message of his own.

* * *

TO: Isabella Swan

FROM: Edward Cullen

SUBJECT: Re: hello

Bella

I was glad to receive your email tonight. It was wonderful to hear from you, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't checked for an email from you throughout the day, hoping for some word from you, even though I knew you'd be working.

I'm glad you liked the song. I hope that the future for us all will be a positive one. I told you, Bella, that I am not here to make things harder for any of us. I really don't want you to feel threatened by my questions at all, and I realize that some of them may be easier than others for you to answer. And I meant what I said the other day. Whatever you tell me in confidence will stay in confidence. I promise you that, again.

So, Dan's grandfather didn't stay cool and calm under pressure, huh? I laughed at that one. I think it must be a male thing. My father, Carlisle, is a surgeon...always cool, calm and collected you'd think...but no...I saw him lose it terribly one time when my mother had taken ill quite unexpectedly and was rushed to hospital. He held it together through all the examinations and the diagnosis, asking questions and badgering his colleagues, but when she was taken to the OR for surgery, (she had ruptured her appendix) he went off by himself away from the rest of us. I can't say for sure that he cried, but it sure looked like he had by the time he returned to us.

Dan speaks very highly of his grandfather. It is obvious that he has very fond memories of him...but the fact that you think he would have hunted me down with a shotgun makes me think there is more to him than Dan's memories. I don't quite know how to ask this, but you said you'd disappointed them enough...what do you mean by that? And yes, I suppose that is another question you can add to the list that you might be prepared to answer for me one day.

I was an early walker, too, apparently. My mother says it drove her crazy because she had been hoping that she would have had a little bit more time to get things under control with me being a relatively new addition to the family. I, too, walked at ten months. I was six months old when my birth parents were killed in a car accident – a drunk driver ran into them. Esmé and Carlisle were my godparents and I was with them the night my parents were killed. They went from being a two child family to a three child family instantly and I think that took some adjusting to. Esmé says that the day she found me two rungs from the top of a ladder was the day she decided that drinking in the afternoon sometimes had its merits. Carlisle had left a ladder up against the outside of the house after retrieving one of Rosalie's balls from the guttering. And apparently this happened before I could technically walk. I think it's a funny story but Esmé doesn't share my point of view.

I quite like Dan's name. I had wondered if it had any familial significance of any sort, but the fact that it came to you when you saw him for the first time is significant enough, I suppose.

What was that like? Looking at him for the first time after carrying him for nine months? Did you carry him full term? Did you have a trouble free pregnancy? Sorry, there's some more questions for you...all in good time maybe...I hope.

Come to think of it, you haven't asked any questions of me. Is there nothing you wish to know?

As for you not finding me...I don't quite know what to say about that just yet. I appreciate you answering it, but I feel there is just so much more that is still left unsaid. You mention never telling anyone anything about me...ever? Surely somebody must have asked you? What did you say to them? Wouldn't it have been worse for you – not telling anyone the truth about what happened? I admit my behavior was deplorable that night, and the memory of it has been for a very long time the one thing that I have regretted most about my youth – what I did, what I took.

But here I am now, being very honest with you.

I no longer regret it.

I am sorry it happened the way it did. It should never have been like that...happened that way...

But, I won't regret it for a minute more.

It has given me, Dan. Indirectly so, but still, I consider Dan to be an incredible gift in my life.

I do so wish that he could have been conceived under different circumstances, but I will not regret that he was conceived at all. My only regret is not having looked for you harder the next day, 'cause then, maybe our paths could have crossed again sooner, and maybe, just maybe, Dan wouldn't have grown up without his father.

Thank you for your answers Bella. They help me not to feel quite so removed from things.

I wish we didn't live so far away from each other.

Edward.

* * *

Edward read his email just once after he'd finished writing it.

He then sent it immediately.

_Enough time's been wasted so far, _he reasoned to himself_, and I'm not going to be the one responsible for wasting time anymore._

* * *

_AN: _Thank you to everyone who sticks by me and with this story. I love chatting to everyone of you. Normally I try to reply to reviews before posting a new chapter, but yesterday, some darling labourer cut through my computer internet cables amid all my home renovations so I have no internet connection at home at present. I am working on my hubs office computer at the moment. So, I'm sorry but reviewer replies will have to wait for now.

I'd love to hear what everyone thinks about Bella and Edward's first email exchange. Please?

bye for now

Leis


	28. Chapter 28

**Welcome back.**

**Firstly, if you haven't read CHAPTER 27 – S T O P N O W and go back and read it. I replaced the Special Announcement I posted for the Haiti fundraiser with the chapter but basically shot myself in the foot cause it meant that alerts didn't go out. SORRY... MY BAD. **

**If you have read Ch 27... please, continue.. if you haven't...scoot off and come back... Ch 28 will still be here when you return.**

**Now, on to Chapter 28... and more ANs at the end... I have a few thank you's this chapter.**

**As always... SM owns the original characters... I just made them older and parents of a 21 year old.**

* * *

Ch 28 – Making Connections

Emails started flying back and forth late Tuesday afternoon between Lebanon, New Hampshire, and Long Beach, California.

* * *

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Got it thanks

Hi, Edward.

Just wanted to let you know that I got your email earlier today.

I can't respond right now because I am just about to head off to dance class. It's been one of THOSE days – sick kids, cranky parents and meetings galore. I haven't had two seconds other than to read your message. I will try and send you a reply tomorrow night (and hope that tomorrow is less chaotic!)

Bye for now,

Bella

P.S. - I did ask you a question in my email, but you didn't answer it.

* * *

Edward had been about to leave his studio when he decided to check his emails one last time. He was pleased to see a reply from Bella waiting for him, but he frowned when he read the last sentence of Bella's email. _Question? What question?_

He searched back through his emails and found Bella's initial correspondence. He read it briefly.

_Oh_, he thought. _That's what she's referring to?_

Edward returned to Bella's latest email and clicked the Reply option.

* * *

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: RE: Got it thanks

Dear Bella,

Dance classes, huh? What type of dance do you do?

Sorry to hear you had such a hectic day. Mine is still going here, and I'm about to go for a walk on the beach to clear my head before the afternoon gets too cold.

I found the question you asked that I failed to answer. That was deliberate on my part. Christmas is my gift to you both. Please accept it.

Look forward to hearing from you soon. Enjoy dancing.

Edward

* * *

Bella was raking her fingers through her hair when she heard her cell phone ping from on the dresser where she'd left it. When Dan had first bought her the iPhone as his going away present, he'd set up her phone to accept emails so that they could communicate while he was overseas. While most of the world seemed unable to function without emails, Bella still preferred verbal communication; hence, she rarely used her phone to email others. She walked out of her bathroom and picked it up. Gingerly, she touched the screen on the icon that indicated she had one unopened email. The iPhone's touch screen still made Bella nervous. She was getting used to it, but every now and then, she would accidently bump or touch something, and the screen would morph into something quite different from what she had been looking at, which usually managed to unnerve her. _Whatever happened to buttons?_

The email was from Edward. She opened it.

_Hmm_, she thought. _He considers Christmas his present, huh? I don't know how I feel about that._

Bella glanced at the clock next to her bed. She had a moment or two.

Bella looked at the icons at the bottom of the touch screen.

_Which one is the reply one? Heaven help me, there are three with arrows. Good Lord!_ She hit the one second from the left. The Mailboxes screen popped up. _That definitely wasn't a reply function,_ she thought as she quickly tapped the Cancel icon on the screen.

_Maybe this one,_ she guessed, tapping the second to last icon.

Experiencing considerable relief, she smiled as three simple little words: Reply, Forward, Cancel appeared on the screen.

Bella tapped the Reply icon and up popped something that was, at last, familiar to her--an email header and a keyboard.

_Here goes nothing_, she thought, as she began to slowly type out her message, hitting the backspace key on more than one occasion to correct her mistakes.

* * *

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: RE: RE: Got it thanks.

Edward,

While generous, that gift is just too expensive to accept. Please allow me to contribute towards the cost of the week away. It's only right that I do that.

A walk on the beach sounds nice. Better than the icy winds here and the threat of snow tomorrow.

Bella

* * *

Edward was walking along the sand, barefoot, when his phone pinged in his pocket. He automatically reached for it and opened his mail.

He read Bella's brief reply and pursed his lips. He stopped walking and turned to look out to sea composing a reply in his head before typing it out and sending it.

* * *

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Got it thanks

Bella,

I'm very happy to be able to organize the week's accommodation in Manchester and that you can join us. It will make for a wonderful Christmas and New Year celebration. Please consider it a gift. My feelings would be hurt that you'd think otherwise.

Will you have to work tomorrow if it snows? Be careful if you're driving to dance class.

Edward

* * *

Bella was in the front hall buttoning her coat when she heard the now familiar ping coming from her phone.

She opened and read Edward's latest response.

She looked out through the window towards the street. Steve hadn't pulled up yet.

She tapped out her reply.

* * *

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Got it thanks

Edward

Don't wish to hurt your feelings but such an expense makes me uncomfortable. Can we discuss this in more detail later? Am just about to leave.

I'm not driving. A friend is picking me up and the snow's only expected to be light. Shouldn't be too bad. No doubt work will be on tomorrow.

Bella.

* * *

Edward was almost back to his house when Bella's message came through.

_Who's the friend_? he wondered.

* * *

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Got it thanks

Bella

OK. We'll talk about it more, later. Have fun tonight. Good luck at work tomorrow.

Edward.

* * *

Bella was seated in the passenger's seat of Steve's car when she heard the email come in.

She retrieved her phone and read the message.

"Since when have you started reading your emails on your phone?" Steve asked her, curious.

"Just the last day or so," Bella answered vaguely. "You know me. I've never really bothered with it all, but it can be rather convenient, can't it?"

"Most of the modern world seems to think so," replied Steve. He glanced at Bella who had returned to reading the email. "Anything important?" he asked.

"Nah. Nothing that can't wait," Bella responded as she typed out a one-word reply before turning off her phone.

* * *

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Got it thanks

Thanks.

* * *

Edward read Bella's single-worded response and frowned. He wondered if she was on her way to dance class already; that might explain the brevity of her reply. He put his phone back on his desk and stretched over the back of his chair. He'd returned to his music studio, determined to finish a complicated riff he'd been working on but found he was unable to concentrate. His mind was elsewhere. It was focused on a brown-haired, brown-eyed woman across the other side of the country.

He soon realized that there would be no more work for him this evening. He looked at his watch:. It was just before 6 p.m., which meant it was almost 9 p.m. in New Hampshire. He wondered what time Bella's dance class finished and what type of dancing she did.

Edward picked up his laptop and walked out of his studio, locking up after himself. As he made his way towards the house, he thought some more about Bella. She mentioned being picked up by a friend tonight and Edward wondered yet again who that friend might be. Male or female?

_Not that it matters to me_, he reminded himself, but it was a nagging thought in the back of his head.

Over the last two weeks he had given considerable thought to what it would mean to establish a relationship with Bella as well as Dan – just as friends, of course – but now, suddenly, he found himself confronted by another thought. _What if Bella's reaction to the Christmas accommodations wasn't due to the financial issue, but rather that she wanted to bring someone with her? What if she was involved with someone?_

Edward hadn't considered that before now. _What if that was why she wanted to pay for her part of the accommodation – because she wanted to bring her partner?_ She hadn't mentioned anyone over the space of the previous weekend. Dan had never mentioned anyone, either, but that didn't mean there wasn't someone.

This thought sobered Edward. Establishing a relationship with Bella was one thing – but with her partner as well – that was something different entirely. Could this man be a father figure of sorts for Dan?

Edward's mind ran away from him. It took off in so many different directions simultaneously that it went into a spin.

He gave himself a physical shake to stop the process.

_Calm down, man_, he warned himself. _You don't even know who this friend that picked Bella up is. It could be a girlfriend, for heaven's sake._

_A girlfriend?_ his inner voice questioned.

_Don't even go there_, his rational mind thought.

_Geez, Cullen, you need a drink, _a conspiratorial voice whispered in his brain.

_I don't need one, but I think I'll sure as hell have one, _the voice of reason argued back.

Edward entered his house went through to his study. He placed his laptop on the desk and then crossed to the wet bar where he poured himself a scotch – neat, no ice. The ice was in his kitchen, and he decided he could go without it.

He sipped at the amber liquid and caught his breath slightly as it slid down his throat. He walked back to his desk and pulling out the roller chair there, sat down and scooted in. He opened up his lap top and connected the internet cable before firing up his computer. He took another sip of his drink while waiting for the login page. He was startled when the phone on his desk started to ring.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Edward, darling. How are you?"

"Mom. Hi. I'm fine. How about you?"

"Going great, actually. I had lunch with your sisters today."

"That's good."

"Yes, it was."

"Where did you go?"

"Just to a little restaurant up the coast a ways and it had the yummiest seafood crepe."

"Sounds great."

"It was. Alice told me you had a successful trip out to New Hampshire."

"Did she?"

"Yes. So, how was it, really?"

"You mean you're just not going to take Alice's word for it?"

"Well, she did say that you managed to get a chance to talk to Bella privately for a bit."

"Just a moment or two really, Mom."

"And how did that go?"

"Alright. We agreed to keep chatting via emails back and forth, so that's a good thing. I was just about to send another one off to her now, actually."

"Did seeing her in person bring back any memories?"

"None that I want to talk about, Mom."

"Right," Esmé said, sensing that possible line of discussion close down. Changing tack, she asked about Dan.

"He was good, Mom. He is good. He's a very nice young man."

"Yes. I thought the same thing when I met him. Cassie has done well for herself there, I think."

"I happen to be biased now, but yes, I agree with you."

"Did you get to spend time with Dan, too, over the weekend?"

"Yes. I met a friend of his as well. Chris, the other boy that travelled with the girls."

"Oh, really? What was he like? Sammy says he's a bit of a...what is the word she uses? _Ocker_...yes, I think that's it...It's an Australian term apparently. I think it means he's a bit rough around the edges."

"Chris is a great guy, Mom. He and Dan get on really well. It's obvious they're good friends. I had lunch with the two of them at a pub up near Dartmouth on Saturday, and it was very entertaining."

"What else did you do while you were out there?"

"Friday night I met Bella at her and Dan's place. Saturday I spent with Dan and his friend, Chris; Saturday night Dan, Bella and I went out for dinner and then on Sunday, Dan drove me back to the airport to catch the flight to New York."

"Sounds like you were busy."

"I was."

"How was dinner on Saturday night?"

"Fine."

Edward was being deliberately vague and Esmé could sense it. She paused briefly before responding.

"Did something happen?"

It was Edward's turn to pause.

"Not really."

Esmé could hear his breathing down the end of the phone. She waited for him to continue.

"I pushed Bella a little too hard, maybe, over dinner, and she got a bit upset. So did Dan. He confronted me once we got back to their place."

"I see."

"We sorted through it, but I was right about my take on Dan. He is very protective of his mother."

"Most boys are, Edward."

"I know."

"So were you able to sort through the issues that caused the disagreement?"

"Enough that we agreed to keep talking via messages. It's a step in the right direction at least."

"Then I'm glad."

There were a few moments of silence on the phone before Esmé continued.

"Edward, I don't want to seem as if I am speaking out of turn, but..."

"What is it, Mom?"

"Well. I think you just need to tread warily here, that's all. Not push too much."

"I'm trying, Mom. Seriously, I'm trying. It's just tough, you know? And now that I know there is this whole other world of knowledge and experiences out there...things I have missed out on, I'm kinda keen to find out about it."

"I understand that, sweetheart. Really, I do. I just don't want to see you lose something that you've only just found."

"Trust me, I don't want that either."

"Have you made arrangements for the Christmas visit then?"

"Mom, if you've had lunch today with Alice and Rosalie, then I suspect you already know about our travel arrangements."

"Well, they did mention that you've booked accommodations in Manchester at the Radisson. Are you all staying there?"

"That's a point of contention at the moment. Bella's agreed to come but wants to pay her share. I want to gift it to her as a Christmas present, but she's pretty determined not to have that happen."

"Maybe she doesn't want to feel indebted to you."

"Possibly, but that's not my intention. I'm just trying to make up for lost time."

"In what way?"

"Well. She's raised Dan all by herself, and I suspect that hasn't been easy either, personally or financially. I was hoping that this could kind of give her something nice to pay her back."

"What do you mean by 'pay her back'?" Esmé asked for clarification.

"I don't know," Edward said, sounding exasperated. "I just want to be able to do something for them. That's all. I just don't see why it has to be such a big deal."

"Maybe it's such a big deal because Bella's never had the kind of money to stay at a five-star hotel for a week before."

"That's why I want to do it, Mom. To give her something to acknowledge everything she's done, everything she's sacrificed for Dan over the years."

"That's probably why she's so resistant to it, sweetheart. She might not appreciate you swooping in years later and throwing money around."

"I'm not throwing money around, Mom. I'm just doing something I can afford to do."

"And Bella's probably never been able to afford it."

"I know that."

"So that's bound to make her feel threatened."

"How so?"

"Well, think about it like this. She's a single mom who's spent her life working to provide for herself and her son. You're a wealthy and successful musician and composer who lives in a beach house in Los Angeles and who comes in an pays for a week's accommodation for five people without a second's hesitation. She looks at you and sees everything she hasn't managed to give Dan over the years, and despite her best efforts. She may feel ...affronted?" Esmé finished, trying to explain her thoughts accurately.

"That's not what I want, Mom."

"But it may well be what she sees, Edward. Just be conscious of that. That's all I'm trying to say."

Edward sat still in his chair and closed his eyes, trying to push down the feelings of frustration that were simmering just below the surface.

"I wish I could have met her when everyone went to New York. I'm the only one who hasn't, you know," Esmé lamented.

Taken out of his private thoughts, Edward responded, "No you're not, Mom. Dad and the boys haven't met her."

"I'm the only one out of the girls who hasn't met her. Rosalie and Alice spoke very highly of her after they met her in New York a few months back."

"Rosalie was singing a different tune at Thanksgiving."

"Have you spoken to her since then, Edward?"

"No."

"Well, maybe you should. She feels dreadful for reacting the way she did. You know her. She's got a protective streak, and she was just sticking up for her little brother."

"I'm not so little anymore, Mom. She doesn't need to fight my battles for me."

"Old habits die hard, sweetheart. She feels terribly about the way she behaved."

"She could always call me first."

"Now look who _is_ acting like a little boy."

"She was rude to Dan, too. What she said upset Dan quite a bit."

"And both your Father and I, not to mention Emmett, spoke to her about it later, Edward. Trust me. She knows what she said was wrong."

"I'm used to Rosalie, but she might have to be prepared to build a bridge or two with Dan, and if she ever gets to meet Bella again, quite possibly there, too."

"Did Dan tell Bella what Rosalie said?" Esmé asked, sounding shocked.

"I don't know, but I wouldn't think so. He wouldn't deliberately hurt her like that, but you never know."

"Do you think Bella might be prepared to come out here for Cassie's twenty-first in February?"

"I don't know."

"Cassie and Alice want to invite her."

"That's up to Cassie and Alice. If she's going to be Cassie's mother-in-law one day it might be a good move."

"What? Cassie's mother-in-law? Do you know something I don't? Are Cassie and Dan engaged?"

"No, no, no, Mom. Settle down. I just know that Dan believes that Cassie is the one for him. He's not going to go anywhere anytime soon unless, of course, the family can manage to scare him away."

"Well, if Thanksgiving hasn't made him go running for the hills, I doubt anything else will."

"Good point."

"So," Esmé persisted, "do you think Bella will come if she's invited?"

"To Cassie's twenty-first? I have no idea," Edward answered honestly. "We're only just getting to know each other, Mom. Your guess would be as good as mine at this stage."

"It would be nice if she could."

"She works full time, and February is not during school holidays so my guess is that she'd probably have to take time off work. Like I said, who knows? That's up to Alice and Cassie, Mom. I'm not extending that invitation."

"Maybe you're right."

"I think so."

"Are you free to come up for lunch this weekend, sweetheart?"

"When are you thinking?"

"Sunday."

"Yeah, that should be fine."

"Great. I'll tell your father and the girls."

"OK."

"Well, I'll sign off now. _Criminal Minds _is about to come on the TV."

"Is Dad all ready and waiting?"

"Yes. He's just poured himself a brandy."

"Well, enjoy yourselves, and I'll see you Sunday."

"That sounds lovely. And Edward, please, remember what I said about Bella?"

"Which part, Mom?"

"The part about her feeling uncomfortable about the money."

"Yes, Mom. I'll remember that."

"Alright, sweetheart. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mom. See you soon."

Edward disconnected from the call and looked at his laptop sitting on his desk. He logged in and opened his email account. He started to write.

* * *

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: Accommodations

Dear Bella,

I can appreciate your concerns regarding the cost of the accommodations for Christmas.

I know I agreed that we would talk about this later, but it's playing on my mind, and I just need you to understand where I am coming from with this.

Can I please explain things from my point of view?

This Christmas is going to be a first for me. It will be the first Christmas I get to celebrate with a "child" of my own. I know Dan is a man and not a child, but still, this is something I had given up hope of ever experiencing, and to be perfectly honest with you, it is something I am really excited about.

I can't believe it was only two or so weeks ago that I found out I had a son. My perspective on life has changed completely in such a short time.

I'd like this holiday to be something special that we can all look back on and remember with fondness.

I want to be able to spend it with my new family, and from my perspective, that includes you, too.

I want to be able to give Dan and Cassie some time together. From what Dan has told me, and to use his words, "this is it" for him. It upsets me to know that the two of them are separated from each other by so much distance. Cassie sounds so melancholy at times when I speak to her, and she is really excited about the upcoming trip. I think she and Sammy are intending to do quite a bit of shopping and touring while they're there as well. They've never been to New Hampshire. and I'm sure they think they'll run into a member of the Kennedy family if they go to Martha's Vineyard at some point (although, that likelihood is dwindling along with their numbers – sorry, poor joke I suspect!)

I want to be able to spend more time with our son and get to know him better. Dan and Chris were making plans for New Year's Eve the other day over lunch – First Night celebrations in Portsmouth from what they were saying – so, I'm pretty sure that Chris is intending to join us at some point to catch up with both the girls.

And I want to be able to talk to you some more and get to know you and your story better, too.

This is a perfect opportunity for me to achieve all these things.

Please agree to accept this as my Christmas gift to you both. I don't expect you to contribute to the cost of it. Consider it as back payment for years of unpaid child support.

Please, Bella. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I really want to do this.

How about you spring for a dinner or two if that would make you feel better about things? I promise to eat up big if that's any help, and after what I saw Dan and Chris consume at lunch the other day, I think they could contribute to a considerable dinner cost as well. Don't rely on the girls, though. How do women survive on eating so little?

Anyway, I don't wish to sound flippant or dismissive of your concerns. I can appreciate your point of view, but this is very important to me. I would very much appreciate it if you could accept my gift.

Please.

Yours most sincerely,

Edward

* * *

It was after 11 p.m. local time when Bella got home from her dance class and coffee night. She and Steve had talked, amongst other things, in the car on the way home, but she had baulked, yet again, at mentioning anything about Edward or his visit the previous weekend. She didn't understand why she was so reluctant to tell Steve about him; she just knew it was something she wasn't ready to do yet.

She let herself into her house to find Dan sitting in the kitchen sipping on a hot chocolate.

"Hi, Mom. How was dancing?"

"Good, love. Tonight was Salsa night. It might look great, but it's a tough dance to master."

"How's Steve?"

"He's fine. Been busy with work but he's doing well."

"That's a nice, safe answer."

Bella stopped and looked at her son, leveling him with a gaze. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Uh–huh," Bella said, nodding her head slowly. "So, how's Cassie doing? Have you spoken to her tonight?"

"Yeah. She's OK. A bit stressed out over an assignment she's yet to finish, but she's ok."

Bella picked up on Dan's sudden change in mood.

"And you, Dan. Are you, OK, too?"

"I'm alright, Mom. Just tired. That's all," he said, twirling his hot chocolate in his hands.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Bella asked, catching his eyes.

"Yeah. Nah. I...," Dan started haltingly. "Some days are easier than others, you know?"

Bella said nothing as she pulled out a chair and sat opposite Dan, allowing him time and space to talk freely. He took another sip of his hot brew before continuing.

"I just hate being so far away from her. It doesn't feel right not having her close by."

"Have you given any thought as to how you're going to handle this long term, love?" Bella asked him sincerely. She knew he was finding it tough being away from his girl. At times, not that she would ever admit it to Dan, she could hear his frustrations during their late night phone calls, and she'd guess accurately that Cassie was having a rough go of it, too.

"I don't know, Mom. Sometimes, I think I could move there, but then I'd have find a new job and some place to live. So, I think if I can just stick it out here a little bit longer and buy myself some time, Cassie will be finished college in May, and then we might have some more choices."

"Does Cassie intend to work in California?"

"That's her first plan. She's prepared to look elsewhere, but she's pretty tight with her family and doesn't really want to live too far from them."

Bella offered her son a tight smile in response. She'd long suspected that out of the two of them, Dan would be the one to move, and he had all but confirmed it for her tonight.

"You will work out how to handle this. It may not be clear today or the day after, but one day, the answer will come to you, and you'll know when it's right."

"I hope so, Mom, 'cause honestly, this sucks."

"I get that," Bella said, reaching across the small space between the two of them and rubbing Dan's forearm with her hand while offering him a small smile.

"Well, love," she continued after a moment, "I'm going to head up for a shower and then off to bed. It's been a long day and I'm feeling pretty beat."

"Goodnight, Mom. I'll be up in a minute."

"Alright," Bella said before collecting her bag and moving to the doorway where she stopped and turned to look at Dan. "Say hello to Cassie for me," Bella said.

Dan lifted his head to look at his mother.

"How did you...?" he asked incredulously.

"Call it mother's intuition," Bella said, wrinkling her nose at him. "And I'm fairly sure that she'd much rather hear your voice than stare at an assignment that's driving her crazy."

Dan smiled back at his mother.

"Thanks, Mom. 'Night."

"Night. Turn the lights out when you head upstairs, OK?"

"Sure thing."

Bella turned and made her way up the stairs and into her room.

She put her bag on the end of her bed before going into the bathroom and showering. Five minutes later after a quick shower, Bella prepared to climb into bed. Just as she threw back the covers, she remembered that she hadn't put her phone on to charge and rifled around in her bag to find it. She turned it on to check for messages and emails, and was surprised to see another new message from Edward; his third one for the day. Or was it his fourth?

Bella opened the message and read it. As she read, she turned to sit down on the edge of her bed. She felt the weight of Edward's words come to rest heavily on her shoulders. Who was she to deny him his first Christmas with his son, considering she had effectively denied him so many others in the past? And there was no way that she would want to put a downer on Dan and Cassie's reunion by haggling over the hotel rooms. That would be embarrassing for all of them.

She re-read the part about child support. Did Edward really think that she wanted him to back-pay child support? No, that was just wrong. Why would he mention that?

Edward suggested that there was other ways she could contribute towards the weekend. This was true, but why then did she feel so uncomfortable about accepting the cost of a hotel room for the week from him?

She leant over and put the phone on the charger next to her bed before sliding under the covers and pulling them up tight around her.

Come on, Bella. Work it out. Why are you allowing this to bother you so much? she chastised herself as she lay in bed. Edward seems genuine enough in his intentions.

There are other things you could do, Bella, to contribute to the overall cost of the week away. You could take the girls sight-seeing on a day when Dan was at work. Edward mentioned that he thought the girls wanted to go shopping, so you could take them to the malls.

The more Bella thought about it, the more she could see opportunities for her to financially support the week away, which made her feel better about the situation. The accommodations would only be a part of the week's costs – a large part for sure – but still only a part. She could contribute in other ways. She was sure of it.

She reached over to her phone and opened the email, and for the last time that day, tapped Reply and wrote to Edward.

* * *

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: RE Accommodation

Dear Edward,

I understand where you are coming from, and I can appreciate your reasoning, although I would never ask for you to pay back child support. Why would you suggest that?

I thank you for your generosity, and I will accept your gift in the spirit in which it is being given as long as you allow me to reciprocate. I have thought of some ways that I may be able to entertain the girls while they are here, and I would be happy if you would allow me to organize that as my gift to you all.

And like you said, I am sure the boys' appetites will more than adequately contribute to the costs I can help cover during the week.

Oh, by the way, you will need to warn the girls. Kennedy sightings are few and far between these days, or so I've heard

So, again, thank you for your gift. I am not used to such generosity, and I find it a humbling experience to learn to accept such a kind offer. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Will chat again soon,

Bella.

P.S. – You wanted me to ask you a question. Here you go...How did you get into writing musical compositions? I admit it. I Googled you. You were nominated for an Oscar! How does a piano-playing, guitar-strumming, 80s college rock band member morph into a serious composer?

P.P.S. – I think that Christmas will be a good opportunity for all of us to get to know each other a little better, and I think _that_ will be a wonderful Christmas gift for everyone.

B

* * *

**AN:**

**Firstly, to my pre-readers and beta...thank goodness you're on this ride with me.**

**To Cosmogirl7481 – who rec'ed my story on her fic, Retail Therapy. (It's listed in my fav fic's list – go find it!)**

**To SydneyTwiMum and Ladybug's mum who have rec'ed me all over the place, so much so that Aussie readers are now my second largest reading group. You two ladies rock! (Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!)**

**And finally, to all my readers who continue to stick with me and this fic – thank you from the bottom of my little ole Aussie heart. Updates have been slower than I would like and I apologise for that. I thought life would have settled down once I got all the kids back off to school – but alas, at the moment it is more hectic than ever. Anyway, the last chapter saw this fic tumble over the 1K review mark. A very wise fic writer told me once not to pay attention to review numbers to gauge how your fic is being received so I try not to; I really prefer to pay attention to what you all say to me when you review and I try to respond in kind. But I have to admit, (smiling sheepishly here) it was really exciting to pass that milestone.**

**So...speaking of reviews...care to leave me one?**

**Thanks for being here**

**Leis**


	29. Chapter 29

Hello everyone.

Thanks for returning.

Thanks to my wonderful women- Sandy, Lalina and Grendel - my writing is so much better because of you!

My Edward is hereby nicknamed "Specward" - Cristina, one of my readers, loved the way he needed his glasses in one of the previous chapters in order to read Bella's email...she...and in fact, my betas and I, all love the idea of an older, wiser, gray-flecked haired Edward reading from his bed at night wearing glasses...so we have given him his own pseudonym... hope you like!

More ANs at the bottom...

**Ch 29 Step by Step**

Edward had smiled with relief when he'd read Bella's last email. He'd been glad that she had acquiesced to his plea and accepted his offer to pay for their Christmas accommodations. He'd gone to bed that night grateful for this small, yet seemingly significant, progression in their relationship.

Due to the lateness of the hour, he hadn't responded immediately upon receiving her reply. In fact, it had almost been a full 24 hours before he'd had the opportunity.

* * *

To: Isabella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: thank you

Hi Bella.

Sorry for the delay in replying to your gracious email. I had an early morning meeting in L.A. which carried on into a business lunch. One thing led to another, and I arrived home much later than I had originally anticipated. I try to avoid meetings with people in L.A. as much as possible, but this one was unavoidable because I had dodged it for so long already. Ha ha.

Anyway, I am grateful that you have accepted my offer for Christmas and can't believe that it is only a little over ten days or so when we will be able to meet and chat face to face again.

How's Dan doing?

I spoke with him briefly today while I was driving back from L.A., and he didn't quite sound like his usual, cheerful self. Is everything going alright for him? I did ask, but he was at work, so we only spoke for a minute or two.

You asked in your email how I managed to "morph" into a "serious composer"...is that opposed to a comical one? LOL

I suppose your memories of me from twenty-odd years ago wouldn't exactly marry with the image of me now – would they?

So, where to begin...

I came home from THAT holiday determined to make some changes. I enjoyed playing with the band, but the band lifestyle had fast become something I no longer desired. I was fairly disgusted with my own behavior. I'd become too easily influenced by all the hedonistic opportunities that came my way and realized that it wasn't what I wanted my life to be like. I have you to thank for that wake up call, but you know that already.

I came home and quit the band within a few weeks. I also changed some of my electives for the last year of my degree and focused primarily on musical composition. The one thing I realized I enjoyed more than performing was composition. While I played primarily piano and guitar, I had dabbled with a number of different instruments over time and really enjoyed the thought of writing music on a grander scale. That's how it all started.

And boy, did I start small. Trying to get a foot in the door was difficult in L.A. with people putting pieces of paper and manuscripts under agents and producers noses left, right and center.

I ended up getting a contract job writing jingles for television and radio commercials, and things, as they say, went from there. It took quite a few years though for me to gain a reputation for being a person who could bring to life somebody else's musical vision.

I was still a "struggling" musician and composer leading up to and for the first few years of my marriage to Tanya. We were fortunate at that time that she was working as well. I had inherited some of my birth parents' estate when I'd turned 21, but my adoptive parents, Esmé and Carlisle, insisted at the time that I reinvest a fair percentage of it to mature at a later date. They considered me too young (dare I say, immature?) at that age to successfully manage such a large inheritance. They were right to think so, considering the way I'd squandered some of what I'd inherited on the crazy lifestyle and the bar bills on THAT holiday. Anyway, with most of my inheritance locked away securely, my meager earnings back then, combined with Tanya's income from her job, was enough to keep us afloat until my career really started to take off.

Eventually, I didn't have to scout for opportunities. As my reputation, contacts and experience grew, work slowly began to come to me and the projects became more significant. My 'jingle days', as I call them, eventually became a thing of the past as I began to write musical scores for smaller theater productions and television shows. Finally, even larger jobs came my way. That was how I ended up writing for cinema, musical productions and plays.

It sounds all very simple when I replay my journey like this, but it was anything but. Actors aren't the only ones who struggle in this madcap world. It was quite a stressful journey at times, and the ride wasn't always smooth. Looking back on it now, I can see that it placed quite a bit of stress on my marriage. Music wasn't the reason my marriage failed, but it definitely provided me with an opportunity that allowed me to stick my head in the sand and not notice the extent to which some other things were impacting us at the time. But THAT particular story is not for this email.

Wow.

Look at how long I have rambled on. LOL.

I wonder if I've even managed to answer your question successfully.

Anyway. There you have it.

Now, does this mean it's my turn to ask you a question?

Since you've asked about my work, I'll ask you about yours.

How did you manage to finish school and become a teacher while raising a little one?

Oh, and what kind of dancing do you do? I'm curious. Somehow, I don't see you dancing around the room in leg warmers, lyrca hotpants and leotard a la Flashdance. LOL x2

Looking forward to receiving your next email.

Edward.

* * *

Edward sent his email off and then looked at the clock: 10:45 p.m. _Where did the time go?_ His typing wasn't all that fast, but it wasn't too shabby either. Writing that email to Bella had taken him much longer than he'd expected, and he realized that it would now be well after midnight back in N.H.

With little chance of a reply tonight, suspecting that Bella would already be fast asleep, Edward shut down his laptop and prepared to go to bed himself. Tomorrow was another day and another meeting with his agent. He wondered why he even bothered to keep an agent after all this time, but then he remembered the contacts his agent had that would be of help to him once he and Carlisle established the Foundation they hoped to in the New Year. He went to bed feeling tired but content. His last thoughts were of the email he had just sent to Bella as he drifted off to sleep.

Bella woke the next morning and busied herself with her usual morning routine. She met Dan in the kitchen just briefly before he headed off to work.

"Will you be working late tonight, love" she asked as he bent to give her a kiss goodbye.

"Not if I can help it. The drive home is taking longer and longer at the moment, and some people drive like idiots, despite the conditions."

"I was going to put a pot roast in the slow cooker this morning before I go to school so there'll be plenty of dinner ready for when you get home, no matter what the time."

"Sounds great. Thanks."

"Bye, love," Bella said as he left the kitchen and headed towards the back door.

"Bye, Mom," Dan called over his shoulder as he shrugged into his coat.

Bella was pouring herself a cup of coffee when moments later, she heard Dan curse under his breath. She turned just in time to see him rush down the hallway past the kitchen door.

"What did you forget?" she called after him.

"My cell," Dan called back.

"I've left mine in my bedroom," Bella yelled. "Could you grab it for me off the charger?"

"Right-o."

Moments later Dan reappeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Heads up," he said before gently tossing Bella her phone.

"Oh! Dan!" Bella exclaimed as she quickly reached out with both hands to catch the phone.

"Good catch," Dan said, winking at her before he disappeared down the hall for what was hopefully the last time. "Looks like years of my little league training paid off for you."

"Cheeky!" Bella yelled out, louder this time, trying to catch him before he exited the back door. She had no idea if he heard her.

Bella put her cell phone down on the counter and moved about the kitchen collecting the items she would need to put the pot roast on to cook. Fifteen minutes later, the vegetables cut, the meat in the cooker, the water and stock added, Bella began to clean and tidy up. After ensuring that everything was finished, Bella thought she had just enough time to pour herself some coffee to-go in her travel mug before readying herself to leave. She grabbed her cell off the bench and dropped it into her handbag while absentmindedly glancing at her watch as she gathered the last of her things.

Bella stopped dead in her tracks.

"It can't be," she said aloud.

She looked between her watch and the wall clock and back again. One said 7:45 a.m.; the other said 8:10 a.m.

_What the...?_ she thought to herself.

Reaching for her cell phone in her bag, she turned it on to verify the time.

"Oh my God," Bella said.

Once again, she looked at the clock hanging above the doorway in her kitchen. It was the same clock that she had bought many years ago when Dan had been learning to tell time.

The batteries must have stopped.

Bella quickly grabbed her things. She'd only just make it to school before the first bell, and only if there were no traffic problems on the way.

Bella hadn't registered the new email alert that displayed on her cell before she'd tossed it haphazardly into her bag in the rush to get out the door. Even before she'd managed to leave home, it was turning into one of those days. Her cell phone didn't get another look until much later that night.

* * *

With dinner over and the kitchen cleaned, Bella settled in to do some grading at her kitchen table. Marking was the bane of any teacher's life – no matter what the grade level.

Dan was watching some television in the living room, but Bella could hear his mumbled voice and assumed he was talking to Cassie.

Bella got up from the table and poured herself a glass of wine; it was one way to make grading less painful. Ss she settled back down with her glass, she remembered a time when that hadn't been the case. She'd been working with a fellow teacher late one evening, writing the now outdated paper, handwritten, carbon-copied style reports from a few years ago when she'd inadvertently spilled a glass of wine over sixteen out of twenty-five completed reports. That single event had been anything but painless. It had taken her hours to rewrite the reports. She still bristled with frustration when she remembered the school had finally introduced computer=based reporting six months later, thereby significantly cutting down the time involved, especially the rewrites.

An hour or so later, Bella was just finishing her grading when Dan strolled into the kitchen.

"You finishing up?" he ask her.

"Just about," she answered with a smile.

"What was it tonight?"

"Math tests."

"How many?"

"Seventy-three. I'm marking them for the whole grade this time."

"How come?"

"Consistency. Plus, it gives me a general picture of how the other teachers are working with their kids. Chrissie and Suzanne are both relatively new at this. As their supervisor, it gives me a chance to see if and where there might be gaps in what they're teaching."

"That's a lot of marking."

"But at least with math, at this level, they are either right or wrong answers, although you still have to look through the wrong answers to work out why they got it wrong."

"You can do that?"

"Mostly. It's called diagnostic evaluation. If the test is written in the right way, you can use it as a diagnostic tool as well as an evaluative one."

"You've lost me now."

"You might need to go back to year three then."

"Very funny."

"How's Cassie?" Bella asked, changing the topic as she packed away the test papers.

"Speaking of testing, she's got some exams of her own she's studying for."

"Before Christmas?"

"She's got a couple next week, apparently. She says it takes the shine off preparing for her trip here."

"I'll say. What's she got?"

"Psych and some kind of philosophy one."

"Heavy stuff just before Christmas."

"Mmmm."

"Have you spoken to Edward recently?" Bella hedged.

"This afternoon, again, actually. I spoke to him briefly yesterday, too, but things were crazy at work.."

"How is he?"

"Fine, although I would have thought you'd known that. He told me he emailed you again yesterday."

"He did?" queried Bella. "I got one from him the other day about Christmas, and I answered it, but he's sent me another one since?" she asked as she retrieved her bag from the back of the chair and began to rummage through it looking for her phone. "I haven't checked my mail at all today," she continued.

"So how's the email thing been going? You two chatting alright? Getting along?"

"We're not children, Dan," Bella admonished. "We can manage to carry on a civil conversation, even if it's by email."

"Alright. I was just curious. No need to get huffy."

"I'm not huffy," Bella corrected him. "I just think that you need to give Edward and me some credit. It's not like I'm going to be able to bite his head off in an email."

Bella held her mobile up in front of her and entered her password.

"Well, look at that!" she exclaimed. "There is an email from him."

"Told you so. I'm making coffee, Mom. Do you want some?"

"No thanks, love," Bella replied as she opened the email, "and you shouldn't be having one this time of night either. It will keep you awake."

"That's the plan. Cassie was just going off for dinner. I'll call her back shortly."

"Your phone bill is going to equal the cost of an airline ticket soon."

"I've changed my plan. I've got Cassie's number listed as a special deal on part of my new phone plan, and calls to her are locked in at a set cost, no matter how long I talk to her. The longer the better actually. It should help to keep the bill under control."

"Oh, I hadn't realized you could do that," Bella answered as she continued to read through Edward's email.

"Depends on the plan."

A moment's silence descended upon them as Bella continued to read and Dan finished making his late night coffee.

"Dan?" Bella asked.

"Yeah?"

"What does LOL mean when it's written in an email?"

"It can mean a couple of different things, depending on the context," he answered. "Show me..." he said leaning in to look over her shoulder.

Bella showed Dan one of the times Edward had used it in his email.

"In that case, it means _llaughing out loud _but sometimes it can mean something else," he said with a knowing smile.

"Like what?"

"When I use it with Cassie, it means _lots of love_."

"Oh. Right. Of course. That makes sense," Bella said haltingly. "Not in this case, though."

"No, not in that case," Dan said, pointing to her phone.

"So LOL x 2 would mean?" Bella asked, pointing to the second occurrence in the email.

"That he was laughing harder."

Dan looked briefly at the small screen.

"Lyrca hot pants, huh? I can see why he'd be laughing."

"That's enough outta you. Go to bed, mister."

"Sure thing," Dan replied with a wink. "That's an image I really didn't need in my head."

"Goodnight, Dan."

"'Night, Mom," he replied, leaning in to give her a kiss on the top of the head.

"I'll be late tomorrow night; drinks after work."

"Right. Stay safe."

"Will do."

With that, Dan took his coffee and went upstairs, leaving Bella alone in the kitchen. She read Edward's email for a second time before closing it and gathering her things together for the morning. She turned off the lights and walked out into the front hall where she had dropped the rest of her school bags that afternoon. She picked up her laptop bag and slung it over her shoulder before climbing the stairs to her own bedroom. She showered and changed, all the while composing an email to Edward in her head. She always found it easy to think in the shower – she had no idea why.

After she had climbed into bed, she settled in to write her reply to Edward before sending it and closing down her laptop.

It was late for her – not so much for him – but Bella would look for his reply in the morning, if there was one. This time difference really did work to a disadvantage at times. She was beginning to appreciate just how frustrating Dan and Cassie found it. Bella turned off her bedside lamp and snuggled down into bed. She wondered if Edward was up and waiting on her reply.

_At least he'd have it now,_ she thought to herself_. I wonder what he'll think of it._

She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Edward finished his dinner and was standing at the sink washing dishes when he heard his phone chime from his study down the hall. It was amazing how far the sound of that chime traveled in a quiet place.

He rinsed his hands and dried them on a towel before walking to the study to pick up his phone.

He saw the alert and decided to open up his computer to read Bella's email on the larger screen. He crossed to the desk, turned on the laptop and waited somewhat impatiently for it to load. Once he entered his password and opened his email account, he began to read her latest correspondence.

* * *

TO: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Swan

Subject: Re: Thank you

Dear Edward,

I hope I didn't offend you by calling you a "serious" composer. I just didn't know how else to refer to your occupation. I assume that you used to write some of your own music when you were with the band, and I suppose, come to think of it, that you would have been serious about that too(?). But I didn't know how to distinguish between the kind of music you write now and the kind of music you wrote back then. Am I making sense here? I'm not too sure.

Anyway, thank you for sharing that with me. I will admit, while my days are kind of frantic at the moment with everything that's going on at work, I do look forward to getting an email from you. I am also kind of enjoying the conversation we have going on here. Is that weird? Modern pen pals in a way, I suppose, aren't we?

To answer your question about Dan, he is OK. He misses Cassie dreadfully. Sometime, I hear them late at night on the phone. I know that they're both struggling with the distance thing, and I also know that Dan is considering moving out to California at some point after Cassie graduates. He told me as much the other day, but I think we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

He's also working really hard and trying to prove himself to his bosses. He has a good work ethic, and I have his Pop to thank for that. He really spent so much time with Dan as he was growing up, and my father was an old-fashioned kind of man – work hard, be honest. give it your best. That's what he taught Dan from an early age, and it's stuck with him. It was hard on Dan when his Pop died. It was hard on all of us. It broke my mother. She died six months after him of a broken heart, I think. Has Dan told you anything much about them?

Dan was 15 at the time, and he really tried hard to step up to the plate and take over Dad's role in the family. I could see him grow up overnight. One day, he seemed like a typical teenager, and the next minute he was shouldering the responsibility of being the "man" about the house. I have to admit, trying to balance work, parenting and the depression my mother slipped into after Dad's death was exhausting and challenging. I did rely on Dan to help me out quite a bit. Not just with household things but also with trying to sort through my Dad's things and his estate as it was. He left everything to my Mom who was in no state to deal with things. So, Dan and I had to work out what to do with most of his fishing things, tools and the like.

You know, I don't think Dan has ever fished since my Dad died. It was something that the two of them would do, just the two of them, and at other times with some of my Dad's friends. I know some of them invited Dan fishing after Dad died, but I don't think Dan ever went with them. I can't recall a time when he did. I think he felt he was being disloyal to his Pop. And then six months later, after his Nan died, fishing really became a thing of the past. It's strange, you know. I haven't thought about any of this in years.

So, basically, I think Dan is OK. He doesn't go out as much as he used to. I mean, he still sees his friends on the weekend, but he spends his weeknights at home, once he finally gets home that is. The drive seems to be taking longer and longer at the moment because of the weather. The other night it took him two hours because of some accident on the way home. Not that he was in an accident. There was just one that slowed down his journey, that's all.

Now, as for my job. Well, that,too, is a long story.

You know from my earlier emails that I gave up on college when I found out I was pregnant with Dan. After I had him, I went to work at a childcare center and took Dan along. That worked out well since I could work and have Dan with me, but it did eat into my salary considerably since Dan's fees were deducted from my pay. An unskilled childcare worker didn't really earn all that much in those days. Still, it gave me an income and plenty of experience. My mom was in the industry, and she used her contacts to help get me a job at one of the few centers in town. It wasn't like it is these days – child care centers are a dime a dozen now – back then, there were only three in town. My mom worked at one, and she got me a job at another.

Anyway, I worked there for a few years until Dan started school. I still held onto my dream of becoming a teacher. When I was a teenager, I wanted to be an English/History teacher in high school when I planned on going to college, but that didn't work out, for obvious reasons. Working at the center helped me get some experience under my belt, and I realized that working with younger kids wasn't as boring as what I thought it would be – nor as easy. I mistakenly thought that working with older kids – teenagers – would be more challenging and require more skill. I was so wrong. Working with younger children is very hard, and requires specific knowledge and skills to do with that level of age development. That was something that working in the child care center taught me. They had an after school program for kids of working parents. The center ran from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m. five days a week, and I often got to see the "older kids" – you know, seven- to eleven-year-olds – in the afternoon. To cut a long story short, I decided that when Dan started Kindergarten. I would try to go back to college and study to be an elementary school teacher instead of a high school teacher.

It was a good plan and great in theory, but putting it in practice was a bit different. Trying to balance full time college with a young child was a challenge. It took me a year longer than I had anticipated because I had to drop a subject here and there at different times to try and balance everything – but eventually I graduated a qualified teacher.

Dan was in Grade four at the time and I was very proud of myself the day I got my degree. My college years had been a real team effort for the whole family. Mom and Dad had helped out a lot, especially in my final year as the pressure grew. I would never have been able to do it, I don't think, without their support. I was very lucky to have been able to live with them and have them support me and Dan through that time.

I continued to work part-time while I was at college. I couldn't work at the child care center anymore due to my college schedule, so I got a job at the local shopping center at night restocking the shelves after the store closed for the day. It meant that I could spend my afternoons, as much as I could, with Dan and help him with his homework and such. Some nights, Mom and Dad would have to put him to bed for me so that I could go off to work for the night. I tried to work only three or four shifts a week to keep things manageable. After work, I'd sometimes have to come home and work on assignments and the like. There were times I'd pull all-nighters just to get things finished and submitted on time, but every college student has done that at least once, right? I just did it a few more times than others!

Anyway, like I said, the day I graduated was a proud day for all the family. They were all there, and Dan was cheering just as loud as my Dad when I went up to accept my degree.

I lucked out with my first job. I didn't particularly want to move from Forks, so I started by doing substitute teaching - as much as I could get anyway. About halfway into the school year, one of the teachers left on maternity leave. I was offered the position and gladly accepted it. I ended up working at the school until I moved out to New Hampshire with Dan nearly five years ago.

Wow. Five years. That time has flown.

There you have it. Bella's abridged version of Teacher's College; although, by looking at the length of this email, maybe not so abridged?

As far as my dancing is concerned...I go to ballroom classes twice a week. I started them after Dan left for his trip and have met a wonderful group of people. We go out for coffee and supper each night after class, and it's been a fantastic experience for me. I've always wanted to dance but considered myself too clumsy. Having a partner definitely seems to help in that respect. So far, we've learnt the Quickstep, the Waltz, the Foxtrot and have just started some Latin American styles – the Samba is not as easy as it looks! In fact, none of them are. LOL.

And so sorry to disappoint you, but no, I don't think I'd look like Jennifer Beals, Olivia Newton-John or Jane Fonda in spandex. In fact, I'm SURE I wouldn't, and won't ever, 'cause I've never put on spandex in my life, and at my ripe old age, I am not about to start now!

Christmas is getting closer and closer. I need to get my shopping finished, and I bet the stores are getting crazier and crazier. I am looking forward to getting to know Cassie better. She has become a very important part of Dan's life, as have you.

Until next time,

Bella

* * *

Edward sat back in his chair and stared at his computer screen.

There was so much in that letter. So many little bits and pieces of the puzzle that was Isabella Swan.

He read it again, and the same feelings he experienced on his first read through surfaced again when he read about Bella's struggles as she worked her way through teachers' college. Edward expected, despite the relatively positive spin Bella had tried to put on her experiences, that there were indeed many struggles along the way. It made him sad. Very sad. And not for the first time since Bella had re-entered his life, he experienced regret. He wished her past could have been different. He wished that decisions made so long ago would have been different. Again, he wished he could have been there for both her and Dan, and yet this time, for the first time, Edward also realized that he no longer felt anger towards her. That emotion wasn't there. Mixed in with his feelings of remorse and regret was admiration and respect for the woman who had worked so hard to provide a future for herself and their son.

He was pleased that this email seemed to paint more of a positive spin on her parents' involvement in her life. He was aware that she loved her parents very much, which was evident in the way she spoke of them, but he had also been harboring feelings of anger towards Bella's father and the way he first dealt with news of Bella's pregnancy. He was still undecided about Charlie as a person, but he was thankful that Bella had experienced their support and love as she worked hard to raise Dan on her own.

Edward appreciated just how concerned Bella was for their son, and how understanding she was of Dan's commitment to Cassie and their relationship. Those feelings were evident between the lines of what she wrote, and Dan has already raised the issue of moving West. Edward wondered how Bella would cope with that if or when it happened.

And finally, Edward smiled as he read the final paragraphs of Bella's email. This is where he felt he really got to know and understand her better. He could see Bella's sense of humor coming through. It was something that she didn't really let show during their brief weekend together, not that Edward really was surprised by that. The weekend they had shared had been awkward for all of them on so many levels, which made him appreciate all the more now that Bella was beginning to share more of herself with him in each and every email exchange.

Edward continued to smile as he shut down his laptop and rose to leave his study for the evening.

He wouldn't respond to Bella straight away. He wanted to think over everything she'd shared with him thus far. He couldn't put his finger on it exactly, but he was sure, despite their progress over the last week, that Bella was still treading warily as was he. He hoped that they could continue to bring down the walls that existed between them. Dan, after all this time, deserved a family, and while their family was definitely not traditional, Edward prayed that what they could offer him was something that would tie them all together and make them all better people for years to come.

Edward climbed the stairs to his bedroom and readied himself for bed.

This Christmas – their first of many, he hoped – was just around the corner.

* * *

AN: Thank you for your patience. Things in my "real life" are causing me to take longer between updates. In fact, it might be three weeks or so before you see your next chapter...I find this as frustrating as you all do...and I promise to keep working on things as diligently as possible.

Thanks to all of my readers who are leaving me reviews...especially the newbies who have reviewed each and every chapter as they've read this fic...that is amazing to me, and deeply appreciated. I also love seeing the "regulars" review again and again...I hope you appreciate my replies to you all as much as I appreciate your reviews. Speaking of replies, I think I got to nearly everyone this time around...but I have a feeling I may have missed a couple...and I have tried to go back and check, but I got myself lost...so I apologise in advance and hope that I haven't offended anyone.

To the AussieTwiMums who have reviewed my fic on their blog during February...Ladybugs_Mum and SydneyTwiMum...you two are awesome...thanks for raising the profile of this story. I'll toast all of you wonderful women from the ATM site with a glass of red after I post this tonight.

I have the distinct feeling I have forgotten someone I desperately wanted to thank tonight, and I know I should have made notes, but I didn't...so I hope if I have left anyone off my list, I'll catch you up with the next chapter posting.

In case you missed it, I posted a one shot from this fic - Bella's night out - if you didn't read it as part of the Haiti fundraiser, it is available on this site...just look up my profile and you will find the link. It covers that fatefilled night twenty-odd years ago, and gives you an insight into Bella's motivations and why she behaved so out of character - something many of you have wondered about.

Until next time...thanks for reading...and thanks for sticking with me and my story.

Leisa


	30. Chapter 30

Hello all - welcome back.

Here's your next instalment.

SM owns twilight...I on the other hand, have a mortgage.

* * *

**Chapter 30 – Knickers, knots, and a thing called Skyping.**

"Mom? Where's your computer?" Dan called from down the hall.

"On my bed."

"OK."

"Why do you want it?" Bella yelled after him as he dashed past the kitchen door and headed up the stairs.

"I'll bring it down in a minute," Dan called back as his footfalls disappeared once he reached the carpeted floor above.

"Well that didn't answer my question," Bella grumbled to herself as she continued to watch the fettuccine boiling on the stove top.

A few minutes later, Dan reappeared in the kitchen with the laptop under his arm. He crossed to the small kitchen table and fired up the laptop fire it up while connecting a cable that would allow for internet access.

Bella eyed him suspiciously as he started tapping away on her keyboard. She continued to watch Dan carefully while she hovered over the finishing touches to her Carbonara sauce. Eventually, curiosity got the better of her.

"What exactly are you doing to _my_ computer?" she asked.

"I'm going to download Skype. You'll love it."

"What exactly is Skype and why would I love it?"

"I was talking to Edward today, and he asked if you had Skype. I told him I didn't think you did, but I would check it out when I got home and load it for you if need be."

Dan returned his focus to Bella's computer and became engrossed in conducting a net search. He wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to his mother.

"You haven't answered either of my questions," Bella reminded him.

"Huh?" Dan answered absentmindedly. Had he bothered to look in her direction, he would have noticed her brow furrow and her eyes narrow in annoyance.

"Dan," Bella said slowly and with a particular tone of voice that finally gained her son's attention.

"Yes, Mom?" Dan said, sitting back after pressing the Enter key with a flourish and looking pleased with himself.

"What is Skype and why would I like it?" Bella repeated her earlier and seemingly ignored question.

"Skype is an online communication program. It allows you to instant message and make phone calls using the computer. You can even talk to multiple people at the one time and have video calls. It's great!"

"And why would I want to have it on my computer, and what does it have to do with Edward?"

"Mom, the pasta's boiling over."

"Damn it," Bella said, getting annoyed. She quickly mopped up the spilled water before testing the fettuccine to see if it was _al dente_.

"Dinner's ready," Bella declared as she lifted the pot from the stove top and poured its contents into the strainer in the sink.

"Great. I'll just move this off to the side so it can do its thing while we're eating."

Bella shot a quick glare at her son before focusing on putting their dinner on their plates.

A minute or so later, both Dan and Bella were seated at their small four-person kitchen table with a steaming plate of pasta in front of them. Dan proceeded to launch himself into his meal while simultaneously keeping one eye on his mother's computer humming away on the table next to him.

"Mmm. This is good, Mom," Dan said appreciatively.

"Thanks."

Dan scooped another mouthful of pasta before placing his fork on the plate and leaning over to once again start tapping away on Bella's laptop.

"Dan. What are you doing to my computer?" Bella asked for the second time, frustrated that not only was she still in the dark about what it was that Dan was downloading, but also that she wasn't even consulted about the process in the first place.

"Mom. Skype is a great tool to have. Do you have a set of headphones for this?" he asked as he got yet another forkful ready to consume.

"Headphones? No. Why do I want headphones?"

"'Cause that way you can chat with Edward."

"Why would I chat with Edward? We email."

"Right. But with Skype, you can chat."

"As in talk?"

"Yeah."

"But I like the emails."

"Well, now you can chat, and it won't cost you a thing."

"It won't cost me anything? It's free?"

"Yes."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch."

"I don't get it."

"You can talk to Edward, but not until I get you some headphones and a mic."

"Headphones come with a mic?"

"Some of them do. I'll pick them up tomorrow."

"Dan," Bella said, her tone serious. "Edward and I email. That's what we do. And it's been working fine."

"I know. And with Skype you can still email but it will be more like an actual conversation. You can I.M. him."

"I.M. him?"

"Instant message him. It's like email, but more immediate. What you type on the screen appears immediately on his screen as soon as you press Enter."

"Right away?"

"Yeah."

"So, we don't have an actual verbal conversation then?"

"Not if you don't want to, but that's possible, too. That's why I'll get you the headphones with a mic. That way, you can do either."

"I see," Bella said. "And Edward suggested this, did he?"

"He just asked me about it today when I was speaking to him."

"You're speaking to him a lot, aren't you?"

Dan shrugged. "Once a day, I suppose," he said, twirling the last of his pasta onto his fork. "He usually calls in the morning when I'm on my way to work."

"He calls you?"

"Yeah. Usually."

"That's kind of early for him though, isn't it?"

"He goes walking on the beach each morning. He calls me while he's walking."

"He walks that early in the morning?"

"He likes that time of day apparently. Must be a morning person."

"It would be dark, wouldn't it? And kind of cold?"

"I suppose. I've never thought to ask."

"Hmm," Bella uttered, raising her wine glass, deep in thought.

"There. It's done. You're hooked up. What do you want your Skype name to be?"

"My Skype name?"

"Yeah. You can give yourself an alias if you want."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Privacy?"

"Privacy? I don't even know if I'm going to use the thing, so why would I have to be worried about my privacy?"

"It's just a thought, Mom. Don't get snippy."

"I'm not snippy."

"Ya think?"

"Watch it, Dan," Bella warned him.

Dan looked carefully at his mother for the first time since he'd come to the table.

"What's up, Mom?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"That's so not the case."

"Dan," Bella said, her voice warning him he was treading on a slippery slope.

"What is it about Skype that has got your knickers in a knot?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Knickers in a knot? You know, _panties in a twist_?" Dan answered her.

"Wherever did you learn a phrase like that?"

"Aussies use it. I like it better than saying _panties_ to my mother."

"Well, I don't like either."

Dan gave an almost imperceptible shrug.

Bella, however, caught it, and a few moments of disgruntled silence ensued.

"You never answered my question, Mom," Dan eventually asked. What's got you so uptight about using Skype?"

Bella paused momentarily before answering.

"Why does Edward want to use it?"

"I don't know. He just asked if you had it."

Watching her closely, a possible reason for his mother's odd behaviour suddenly dawned on Dan, and he eyed her knowingly.

"Mom, are you worried about actually _talking_ with Edward again?"

Bella pursed her lips.

"No, not really. Do you and Cassie use this Skype thing?" Bella asked, trying to divert the conversation.

"We used to…a lot. But now that I've changed my cell plan, we talk on the phone more."

"Hmm."

"What's up, Mom?"

Bella just looked at Dan as she tried to work out why exactly she _was_ so uptight about the whole thing.

"Mom. You're going to see Edward again in just a couple of days. The day after tomorrow, in fact. You're going to be talking to him face to face then. Surely, the prospect of doing it on the phone can't be that scary, can it?" he asked her, concerned.

"It's just that things have been going along smoothly so far. Small steps. Getting-to-know-you kind of things. I don't want to jinx it."

"And how will actually being able to I.M. him or chat with him jinx that?"

"Oh, Dan, I don't know," Bella exclaimed, frustration and nervousness getting the better of her. "With emails, you can take your time. Really think about the way you want to say things. It wouldn't be like that on this Skype or whatever it is."

"Are you still feeling that guarded with him?" Dan said, reaching for her hand across the table.

"No. Yes. I don't know," Bella responded, giving his hand a slight squeeze before getting up from the table and collecting their plates, effectively ending the conversation.

Dan watched his mother move over towards the sink and begin to clean the dishes; they'd never invested in a dishwasher, being just the two of them. He stayed where he was and watched her closely. He gave her a few moments before he tried again to engage her in conversation.

"You never answered me, Mom. What do you want your Skype name to be?"

"Oh, I don't care, Dan. _Bella Swan_ sounds alright, doesn't it? It's not like I'm going to be talking to anyone else out there on it."

"OK, then. _Bella Swan_ it is."

Bella rested her hands on the sink. She listened to Dan typing away on her keyboard.

"So, that's it then?" she asked. "It's all done?"

"Yep. Just finishing," Dan said. "You're all good to go."

"But I wouldn't know how to use it."

"That's alright. I've hooked Edward's account up to yours already. When you're ready to Skype chat, I'll walk you through it and then I'll leave you two lovebirds alone to chat away."

"That's not funny, Dan."

"What?"

"We're not lovebirds."

"Sorry. Didn't mean anything by it."

"Then why did you say it?"

"I don't know. It's just a turn of phrase."

"Well, I'd prefer you didn't use it."

"OK. Sorry."

"Thank you."

Another awkward silence fell between the two of them.

Dan tried to bridge it.

"I'll dry those dishes, Mom," he offered, crossing the floor to pick up the towel.

"Leave them, Dan. They can air dry."

Dan reached for the towel, undeterred by his mother's attempted brush off.

"I'll do it," Bella said clearly, letting her agitation show. "It will just take a minute."

Dan watched his mother as she continued to focus on the cleaning up while doing her best to ignore the tension in the room.

"Mom, please. I'm sorry."

Bella busied herself wiping down the edge of the sink and the counter.

"Dan, it's alright. I just need to get my head together, that's all."

"You'll be seeing him again in two days, Mom. You're not thinking of backing out are you?" Dan asked, suddenly. The thought hadn't crossed his mind before that second, but at that moment, the idea of it worried him greatly.

"No. No. Nothing like that. It's important for both you and Cassie that Edward and I get along. I understand that. It's just..." Bella left her sentence hanging, unfinished.

"It's what, Mom?" Dan asked quietly.

Bella took a deep breath.

"What if it all goes wrong? What if he really hates me for keeping you from him all these years? What if we can't keep playing nice? What if the past comes back to bite us both on the bum? What if we can't live up to your expectations? What will that do to you and Cassie? How will that affect your relationship with her? What about her family? It's just all such a mess, Dan."

Bella started to cry, tears leaking out unbridled. The stress of the last few weeks was finally getting the better of her.

All of her inner most fears – fears that had been building for weeks - were bubbling their way to the surface, unharnessed.

"Oh, Mom. I love you," Dan said, enveloping her in his arms. "I love you, Mom," he said again for good measure, "and I love Cassie. This will all work out. You'll see. Whatever happens, it isn't all on your shoulders. We're all grown-ups here. We will make this work."

Dan's soothing comments were aimed at trying to break through Bella's thoughts. He realized yet again, just how vulnerable the last few weeks had made his mother. He was used to her being so strong and independent, and it seemed to him recent events had robbed her of some of that strength. He hated to see how insecure she was now. He wondered if she had in fact been like that all along, and if he was now only noticing it for the first time.

Bella returned Dan's embrace, taking comfort in her adult son, the one she had sacrificed so much for but also the one, she now realised, she had denied so much.

"I don't want to be the reason you and Cassie don't make it – if you don't," Bella said, explaining herself quickly. "You two seem pretty determined to make a go of what you have. I don't want to be the reason it fails. I've only ever wanted what's best for you, but I've made mistakes. I don't want to make another one."

"Mom," Dan said, pulling back from her to look her in the eyes. "Cassie and my future is up to the two of us. We will handle what comes our way as best as we can, just like you always have. Sure we want everyone to be able to get on but if things get a bit bumpy, we'll handle it."

Dan searched Bella's eyes wanting to know that she understood what he was trying to tell her.

"And another thing, Mom. Edward doesn't hate you. I think he was angry at first, sure, but I don't sense that anymore. I haven't for weeks, in fact. I think he just really wants to try and make this work for all the same reasons you do. He wants this to work out for all of us, no matter what that ends up being. You're both trying so hard for me. Thank you. I mean it, Mom. Thank you."

Bella sniffled and patted Dan on the upper arms.

"You're welcome, love." She tried to smile reassuringly for him.

"I'll do anything for you, love – except your assignments," she quipped, trying to lighten the moment, "but now that you've finished studying, I no longer have to worry about motivating you to get those done," she continued, winking at him. "Now," she said, brushing her tears away impatiently, "are you going to show me how to use this Skype thing?"

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Absolutely!" Bella said, forcing herself to sound cheerful.

"Let's get started then. I'll even write you some instructions as we go if you like."

"I'll write the instructions; you're handwriting is atrocious."

"It's not that bad," Dan said, rolling his eyes.

"But I can hardly read a thing that you write!"

"So, go get your glasses. I'll wait!"

"Cheeky thing!" Bella returned fire, slapping his shoulder as she walked past him and out into the hall while he settled himself at the table in front of the laptop.

Their moment of seriousness had passed, and for this, Dan was grateful. It worried him to see his mother so vulnerable. It wasn't something he was used to seeing, but it unnerved him considerably.

* * *

Two hours later, with instructions given and her first Skype conversation with Edward underway, Dan left his mother alone. Well, sitting alone in her kitchen anyway.

_EC: So, have you got this under control now?_

_BS: I think so._

_EC: You must have if Dan has left you to fly solo._

_BS: He's gone for a shower and then probably to chat with Cassie. No doubt he'll be worried that I'll wreck things and he'll have to come back and fix it all._

_EC: LOL_

_BS: I know what that means now!_

_EC: What? LOL?_

_BS: Yeah. I had no idea what it meant when you put it in your email. I had to ask Dan what it stood for. LOL x 2_

_EC: I can see that you now understand it and are using it appropriately._

_BS: Kudos for me!_

_EC: You type quick_

_BS: My mother insisted I learn how to touch type while I was at school. She told me that I could always become a secretary if things didn't work out the way I wanted them to._

_EC: Would you have? Become a secretary?_

_BS: I don't know. It was never what I wanted to do. _

_EC: Did you always want to teach?_

_BS: Pretty much. I never really considered anything else._

_EC: You worked hard to put yourself through college._

_BS: This is true. But everyone works hard for the things they want._

_EC: But not usually at college_

_BS: LOL. You're right. Not always at college._

_EC: I didn't work all that hard at college – until my last year that is. I kind of just breezed through._

_BS: Yeah. Well. Our circumstances were different._

_EC: This is true._

There was a brief pause between their communications at this point. Bella changed the subject.

_BS: Did you always want to work in the music industry?_

_EC: Pretty much. I thought I'd be pretty cool and be in a world famous band one day, but the shine wore off that pretty quickly...well maybe not all that quickly, but it definitely wore off over time._

_BS: Do you enjoy what you do now?_

_EC: Yes_

_BS: Do you find it lonely?_

_EC: Working solo?_

_BS: Yes_

_EC: Sometimes. But music is a world within a world. I can get lost in my music. I lose track of time completely when things are flowing. The hours I keep could be considered erratic at best._

_BS: When do you work?_

_EC: Every day as a general rule... sometimes late into the night..._

_BS: Dan says you're an early riser._

_EC: Does he now?_

_BS: He says you call him most mornings on his way to work._

_EC: Usually in the mornings. It's the most convenient for both of us._

_BS: You go walking at that time of day?_

_EC: It's a good way to start the day._

_BS: Fresh air and exercise?_

_EC: Yes. And it's quiet. It's peaceful. I do most of my thinking and my planning when I'm out walking._

_BS: Really?_

_EC: Yes. It's not unusual for me to come home from a walk and work like crazy for the next few hours. I've taken to eating apples as I walk – otherwise I'd forget to eat breakfast entirely – it would be lunch time before I knew it._

_BS: So you go walking with your cell phone and apples? Whatever happened to walking the dog in this modern age?_

_EC: I don't have a dog!_

_BS: Have you ever had a dog?_

_EC: Yes. When I was married. My ex-wife took him in the divorce._

_BS: Oh. Sorry._

_EC: I've never bothered to get another one._

_BS: Don't you find that lonely?_

_EC: What? Being without a dog?_

_BS: and living alone...and spending so much time alone... working alone..._

_EC: I'm used to it._

_BS: Who do you talk to?_

_EC: my family, a couple of friends, my work colleagues, Dan, you. _

_BS: work colleagues?_

_EC: My agent, producers, etc._

_BS: Oh_

_EC: I like my own company – it doesn't bother me_

_BS: I don't think I've ever really been totally alone_

_EC: Really?_

_BS: I grew up in a family – small, just the three of us... and then there was Dan, and he and I have lived together most of his life...even when he went to college, he regularly came home one or two nights a week, and over the weekend at some point (laundry!)_

_EC: You did his laundry for him?_

_BS: No way! He did his own... from an early age...he just needed my machine!!_

_EC: Didn't they have those at the dorms? Or a Laundromat?_

_BS: I suspect so...but I think he used it as an excuse to keep an eye on me to tell you the truth..._

_EC: Are you that unreliable? Sporadic? High maintenance?_

_BS: ABSOLUTELY NOT!_

_EC: Ooh. Shouty capitals! Sorry, I should have put an LOL at the end of that – no offence meant!_

_BS: That's OK...none taken... ;) I hoped you were being sarcastic_

_EC: You've learnt a new smilie, I see... and yes, definitely...sarcastic that is... definitely being sarcastic... I can tell you're not one bit sporadic_

_BS: Now what's that supposed to mean?_

_EC: Oh there I go again! You're an organised person, Bella. Reliable and dependable. I can tell._

_BS: I sound like a car!_

_EC: I never said that!_

_BS: You called me reliable and dependable. It makes me sound boring._

_EC: You're not boring, Bella._

_BS: How do you know? I am the epitome of boring._

_EC: How so?_

_BS: I work, I come home, I work some more, I cook, eat, clean up, go to bed, read and do it all over again the next day...boring personified!_

_EC: That's not boring – that's just a routine. I bet you your work isn't boring._

_BS: No... most days it's anything but._

_EC: See? You're not boring._

_BS: But that's my work. Me? I'm boring!_

_EC: You go dancing._

_BS: Yes, I do._

_EC: You enjoy it?_

_BS: very much_

_EC: Do you dance with the same people each week?_

_BS: Yes – there's a regular group of us._

_EC: Do you change partners each week?_

_BS: I dance with the same person most weeks_

_EC: Who's that?_

_BS: Steve_

_EC: Did you meet Steve at dance class?_

_BS: Yes. We started at about the same time._

_EC: Does he live near you?_

_BS: In the opposite direction actually, but the town in fairly small so it's not that far._

_EC: Is he a good dancer?_

_BS: We're both beginners - but we're getting better!_

_EC: Do you see each other outside of dancing?_

_BS: Sometimes – a group of us go out for coffee after class – but you know that already don't you?_

_EC: Yeah – that's right – I'd forgotten!_

Bella wanted to change the topic.

_BS: Are you organized for your trip over here?_

_EC: Organized might be stretching it a bit – but hey, I'm a guy... a change of clothes, toothpaste and toothbrush will do me just fine!_

_BS: men! LOL_

_EC: women! I've heard all about what the girls are bringing...or are at least planning to!!_

_BS: You've been talking to the girls?_

_EC: No...their fathers – Em and Jasper have both called me to warn me about the pitfalls of traveling with young ladies_

_BS: that's funny!_

_EC: Apparently not!_

_BS: LOL_

_EC: I'm glad you find it so entertaining._

_BS: It will make for an interesting vacation!_

_EC: I expect so._

_BS: So when is all the family arriving at your place?_

_EC: Tomorrow night – we're having Christmas Eve dinner here and then going to church – Midnight Mass._

_BS: You go to church?_

_EC: We're lapse... but yes... Christmas and Easter definitely...do you?_

_BS: Not usually – at least not since my parents died..._

_EC: How come?_

_BS: The first year it was just a bit too tough, you know? And then, after that, things were just...different_

_EC: How will you and Dan be celebrating Christmas?_

_BS: Well, Dan will probably be out Christmas Eve – at least, he usually is... and then Christmas morning we exchange gifts and after that we usually go out for a fancy lunch somewhere...Dan plans that. And then, I suppose this year we will spend the afternoon driving into Manchester and wait for you all to arrive. How is the family dealing with some of you going missing during the day?_

_EC: They're all fine with it. The girls have been off their parents hands for several years now...they've often done their own thing with friends over the break...it's just coming a day earlier._

_BS: Is everyone going to the airport to see you off?_

_EC: I think so. You'd think we were going away indefinitely._

_BS: Maybe everyone is not as au fait with it as you think._

_EC: Or maybe they just want to see me trying to handle two effervescent young ladies on my own_

_BS: That may be so!_

_EC: I called the Radisson the other day btw. You can check in any time from two o'clock._

Bella frowned at the computer.

_BS: btw?_

_EC: sorry…by the way._

_BS: Right. Thanks. _

_EC: Will you check in early?_

_BS: Yes. But probably not at two. We'll be there in time for dinner though._

_EC: They have some nice restaurants there, apparently._

_BS: That will be nice – but I'd be perfectly happy with room service and a good book – I don't think Dan is going to be much company._

_EC: Why not?_

_BS: um... he's a bit impatient to see Cassie again._

_EC: Oh. Of course._

_BS: He's keen to see you, too, I'm sure._

_EC: That's OK, Bella. You don't need to sugar coat it. I can handle being the chaperone._

_BS: Is that what you are?_

_EC: I think that's what Jasper wants me to be_

_BS: Are you going to be? The chaperone, that is?_

_EC: They're adults... what they do in their own room is none of my business._

_BS: Yes. Well. As long as they're careful._

_EC: Do you really want to be discussing our son's sex life Bella?_

_BS: Goodness, no_

_EC: Neither do I_

There was a pause in their typing.

_BS: hmm...that's weird..._

_EC: What is?_

_BS: What you just said._

_EC: I'm not following – the "sex" thing?_

_BS: No...The "our son" thing_

This time, it was Edward who paused before responding.

_EC: He is you know...our son..._

_BS: I know_

_EC: Does it upset you, me saying that?_

_BS: No...it's just...different_

_EC: How so?_

_BS: Learning to share..._

Again, Edward paused, the conversation turning serious.

_EC: Is that a bad thing?_

_BS: No! Not at all... it's just taking some getting used to_

_EC: I'm not taking him away from you, Bella_

Their conversation was altering in a way that Bella had been afraid of all along...

_BS: I know that Edward_

_EC: Then why is it hard?_

_BS: I didn't say it was hard, I just said it was different, that's all._

_EC: Different in a good way?_

_BS: Yes. In a good way._

_EC: I'm glad you think that. Honestly, I am._

_BS: Me too_

There was a longer than expected pause from Edward's end and Bella was worried that maybe their connection had dropped out. Was that even possible? Bella looked at the clock in the corner of the screen. It was well after midnight, her time. Thank goodness she didn't have to work tomorrow.

She peered at the computer screen looking for some telltale sign to determine if Edward was still online, even though she had absolutely no idea what she was actually looking for.

She jumped in her seat as her cell phone started to ring from the kitchen counter, and without thought, she quickly got up and moved to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Edward?"

"Yes. It's me."

"What are you doing...?" Bella started.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I was done with all the typing. You're faster at it than I am."

"Oh."

There was a moments silence between the two of them.

"I've enjoyed chatting with you tonight."

"Me, too. I mean, I've enjoyed it, too, Edward."

"I'm glad."

"Mmm."

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?"

"Oh. Ah. I'm just a little bit surprised, that's all."

"Surprised in a good way?"

"Yes, I think so."

"You think so?"

"I mean, yes. I'm just a bit flustered."

"Why are you flustered? We've been chatting all night?"

"I know... it's just..."

"It's what, Bella?"

"Oh, goodness. You're going to think I'm nuts."

"I won't. Talk to me. What is it?"

"Oh," Bella said, that one word was so full of angst, it was almost measureable.

"Talk to me," Edward encouraged.

"What if we get this wrong?" Bella blurted out. "What if we find out, after some time that there is just too much bitterness and history here? What if you can't forgive me? What if Dan can't?"

"Forgive you for what, Bella?"

"For keeping you apart for all these years for one thing.."

"I see."

There was silence so profound that it made Bella cringe.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

Bella used Edward's own words against him.

"Talk to me."

Edward took a deep breath.

"I don't have those answers, Bella, but I can tell you that I want to try my best. I want to forge a relationship and be a family of sorts. I want that very much."

"I know that you do."

Edward sensed that Bella was struggling with something as yet undiscussed, so he asked her the toughest set of questions so far.

"What are you afraid of, Bella?"

This time is was Bella's turn to breathe deeply.

"I'm not sure."

"Are you being honest with me?"

"I think so."

"Are you being honest with yourself?"

Bella let out a long slow breath.

"I don't know."

"Will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Be honest with yourself?"

"I'm trying, Edward. I'm really trying."

"OK."

Edward let the silence filter through the phone. He could tell that it was his alone, anticipating that Bella's mind was racing.

Finally, he interrupted her thoughts.

"Bella?"

"Yes," her voice was soft, almost shy.

"I want to be a friend to Dan. I'm too late to be a father to him, but I'd like to be his friend."

"I know."

"I want to be a friend to you, too."

Edward heard Bella's voice catch on her end.

"I want us to be able to talk freely with each other and face the issues in our collective pasts together and put them to rest once and for all. It's the only way I can see us creating a future that will work for all of us."

Edward couldn't see Bella leaning up against the kitchen counter in her house. He couldn't see her silently nodding her head in agreement.

"I want you to know that I will do whatever it takes from my end to make that happen. Whatever it takes to make this work out."

"I know that, Edward. You've been very patient and very understanding."

"This is important to me, Bella. The most important thing I've done in my life. It may be the most important thing I will ever do."

"I understand."

"Will you do this with me, Bella? Will you work towards this with me? For Dan's sake? For the sake of our son?"

"Yes. Absolutely," Bella said slowly, yet with determination. "I want this for Dan as much as you do."

Edward smiled into his phone.

"I believe you, Bella."

Bella closed her eyes, her thoughts a mixture of gratefulness and regret.

"You're a good man, Edward."

"I try to be. I want to be."

"Dan is lucky to have you."

"I'm the lucky one here. I recognize that now."

Another brief moment of silence fell between them.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

Her next words came out at barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry."

Edward was surprised at the impact those two words had on him. He was shocked at how overcome he was upon hearing them.

He said the only thing that came to mind.

"Thank you, Bella. Thank you for saying that," he said, his voice broke with his own emotions. "And, thank you, for giving me a son."

Edward could hear Bella's stifled tears through their phone connection.

He met hers with some of his own.

He cleared his throat.

"I'll talk with Dan tomorrow and make arrangements to meet up at the airport Christmas night."

"Alright," Bella replied, quietly collecting herself.

"This will be a wonderful Christmas, Bella. You'll see."

"It will be very special. I'll see you soon."

"For sure. Take care. I'll see you the day after tomorrow."

Remembering the time, Bella smiled into the phone.

"No, you won't. You'll see me tomorrow. It's already Christmas Eve here."

"That just makes it that much sooner, then," Edward said, smiling warmly into the phone he held in his hand.

"Yes, it does."

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward. Merry Christmas."

* * *

AN: Well, thanks as per usual goes to Grendel, Lalina and Sandyk199.

Thanks also to those of you out there who are recing my fic - I am truly grateful.

Speaking of recs, Roselover24 and the girls from So You Think You Can Write (via Sandy) interviewed me about this story and the link for the interview is posted on the thread over on twi (around page 158, I think) and also on my profile over here on FF. If you're interested...go check it out. I was thrilled to be asked and the whole experience was fun (and a little nerve wracking).

Pack your bags people, next chapter West flies East...Dan and Cassie reunite...and so do Bella and Edward...

I love reading reviews (and hopefully I got back to everyone this time around)...Apologies if I missed a reply; I sincerely hope that I haven't - if I have, it was an oversight and not deliberate...I appreciate all reviews and reviewers.

Oh, and btw, FTW, once again, you are the only person to pick up on a future plot point that was introduced the previous chapter. You, my lady, are amazing!

Until next time,

Leisa


	31. Chapter 31

Ok... so here's the thing. This chapter wrote almost wrote itself this week. Who needs a clean house anyway, right?

Well, then I had computer issues and FINALLY got it to my betas who did a world record edit and return...

and then I sat down with a glass of wine (or two...dammit I stopped at three, OK?) and merged their edits...

I then got myself totally confused and ended up so tired and befuddled that I had to send it back to G today with a "please check this over for me I don't know WTH I've done to it" message attached...and she most graciously, (really she was very gracious...no shouty capitals and only the occasional "grammar rule" lesson) re-edited it for me...

So to my G, and L and S, my heartfelt thanks for your love and support (and for putting up with me!)

To Sunfeathers and FTW who have greatly assisted me with research necessary for this chapter (and some of the ones to come).

And to those of you who don't know what First Night is, you can google it... my betas had to! and I found that highly amusing cause I FINALLY knew something they didn't!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 31 - It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas**

After lunch on Christmas Day, Bella found herself sitting comfortably in the car next to Dan as he drove them into Manchester. They'd spent the morning exchanging gifts before making last-minute preparations for their week away in the city and heading off to lunch. As they drove along in companionable silence, it became obvious to Bella that the closer they got to the city, the more excited Dan became. The nervous bouncing of his left leg as he drove his mother's car into town gave it away.

"Did you pack your new sweater, Mom?" he asked her.

"Yes, love. I did. I thought it would be nice to wear out to dinner one evening – maybe even to First Night celebrations next week."

Dan looked briefly at his mother and smiled in acknowledgement.

"Have you given much thought to what you younger ones would want to do on New Year's Eve?" Bella asked. "I can't imagine you'd want to hang around with us oldies," Bella continued, rolling her eyes and smiling back at her son.

"You're not that old," he said, returning her smile, "but no, not really. Chris is coming into town for the night. I thought that maybe we could all head into Boston. First Night there is huge, and there's plenty to do for everyone _of all ages," _he replied, deliberately slowing down his last few words to make a point.

"I've never been to Boston for First Night," Bella commented while looking out the window.

"I know. Maybe this year you could give it a try?" Dan asked, attempting but not succeeding in keeping a beseeching tone from his voice.

Bella turned to look at her son.

"It's a little far, isn't it? From Manchester, I mean?" Bella asked.

"About an hour," Dan concurred, "but the public transport system works alright, even if it is a little crowded on the way home. There's a lot to do – music, theatre, dancing – a whole host of things. You wouldn't be bored."

"I take it you'd really like to go there."

"Hmm," he replied vaguely.

"Well, we'll see. I really don't want to cramp your style," Bella said, lowering her eyes and fluttering her eyelashes at him. "You youngins will probably want to dance and party the night away, anyway."

"You could, too, you know. "

"Oh, I think I'm a little old for all-night partying, love."

"Give me a break. I bet you and Edward could kick up a storm."

"Let's just see how it all plays out, alright? Let's see what everyone wants to do when we all get together. You might be sick of the sight of me by next week and want to spend the night out without your mother in tow."

Sensing that he wasn't going to convince his mom to go with them at this stage, Dan let it drop for now. But it was something he intended to return to soon. He wasn't going to let his mother sit alone in the hotel on New Year's Eve, especially this year.

A few minutes later, and to change the subject, Dan asked another question.

"Mom? Have you finished with that book, yet?"

"The one you got for Edward? Not yet, love. It's taking me longer than I expected to get through it all. I'll finish it tonight and have it ready by the time they arrive. Don't worry."

"That's OK. When do you think we should exchange gifts? It'll be kinda late by the time I get everyone back to the hotel tonight."

"What about over breakfast tomorrow morning? I know it won't be exactly Christmas Day anymore, but still..."

"That's probably the best time, huh?"

"I think so."

"Should we book a reservation for breakfast, then?"

"I don't know. We'll have to check that out once we arrive, I suppose. Talk to the Concierge and see what he says about it all."

"Good plan."

"I do have my moments, you know."

Dan laughed at his mother's sarcasm.

"I know. Everyone once in a while you come up with the odd bit of brilliance," he said, teasing her.

"I call it _a momentary lapse_."

"_Of brilliance_? Yes, I know."

Mother and son shared a quiet laugh at their inside joke.

"There's a quick-stop up here. Do you want anything?"

"How can you possibly eat after that huge lunch?" Bella asked incredulously.

"I'm just a bit thirsty, that's all," Dan replied defensively.

"I couldn't fit in another thing – food or drink."

"Yes. Well, that's you."

"And you're you, and how can I possibly forget that you're always starving?" Bella said, laughing some more, "but I'm fine, thanks. I don't need or want anything."

"Ok, then. I won't be a minute long," Dan replied before parking the car and turning off the ignition.

"Can you leave the motor running so that the heater will stay on?"

"Sure," Dan said, turning the car engine over. "I'll be back in a flash."

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

Bella sat in the car looking out the window. She had to admit that she was looking forward to this week away. For Bella, getting to know Cassie personally was her goal for the week. Dan was seriously smitten with her, and Bella had to acknowledge that, so far, this long-distance relationship seemed to be withstanding the trials and tribulations that came with the territory. There was no doubting that Dan and Cassie seemed committed to each other. They were in constant communication – texts, emails, and even Skyping apparently – now that Bella actually knew what that was. She knew they were working hard to maintain an emotional closeness. Still, she wondered, with Dan living here and Cassie living there, how long their relationship would continue to flourish amidst the challenges of an absentee partner.

Bella was still lost in her thoughts when Dan got back in the car.

"I got some mints. Want one?" Dan offered.

"Thanks, love. That'd be great."

"Cassie just called."

"What? Just now?"

"Yeah, while I was in the shop. They're at the airport waiting to board. Looks like they'll be taking off on time."

"That's good."

Bella smiled again at Dan.

"You miss her a lot, don't you?"

"More than I ever thought was possible, Mom."

"Have you given anymore thought to how you're going to solve the distance thing?"

Bella knew in her heart that one day soon, if things continued developing between him and Cassie, Dan would move. She knew it would hurt, and by talking about it, she was hoping to make it easier for him to consider the possibility of moving without feeling guilty for leaving her behind.

"Not really. Not since we last talked about it anyway," Dan said, feeling uncomfortable. "We've been kinda focusing on this week. It will be the longest time we've spent together since we left Australia last June."

"My bet is Cassie's pretty excited, too."

"Yeah."

"I'm really looking forward to spending some time with her while you're at work next week. It will be great to really get to know her. Talking to her on the phone every now and then is nice, but it will be good to see her in person."

"Yeah." Dan's voice became a little quieter and huskier as he fought with his own emotions.

Bella picked up on his awkwardness and let it slide.

"You two make sure you get plenty of time to yourselves this week. I don't want you thinking that you have to spend your time babysitting me."

Dan looked at Bella out of the corner of his eye.

"You're a bit big for babysitting, Mom."

"You know what I mean," she admonished him.

Dan's eyebrows furrowed together as he glanced at her sideways again.

"Are you actually telling me you _want_ me to spend time alone with my girlfriend?"

Bella guffawed and then laughed out loud.

"Yes," she said, continuing to laugh. "I suppose that's exactly what I am saying," feeling embarrassed that her seemingly innocent comment could have such a double meaning to a – _heaven help me_, she thought – horny twenty-something. "But I was really kind of referring to daytime activities, Dan. I don't really want to know about what else will be going on after hours," she finished, flapping her hands around in front of her as they continued to hurtle on down the highway.

"Ok. That's good, then," Dan said, laughing along, enjoying his mother's embarrassment.

"Oh, God. Turn on the radio or something, will you?"

"What do you want to hear?"

"Anything! I don't care. Just anything so that I can regroup for a minute."

Dan continued to laugh as he turned on the radio, adjusting the station to find one playing Christmas carols. He settled back to concentrate on his driving, looking briefly again at his mother while she looked out the car window, seemingly engrossed in the scenery, a slight smile on her face.

Dan, too, smiled, realizing that he was one lucky guy. He had a cool mom. There weren't too many 21-year-olds he knew who had moms as cool as his.

But then his own train of thought took him down a different track. He was about to have his first -ever Christmas with his mom _and_ his dad.

_His dad_. Two words he never thought he'd say.

_Dad_.

_I wonder_. _I wonder if I will ever actually call him that?_

* * *

A couple of hours later, Dan and Bella had checked into their hotel and were sequestered in their rooms – Dan in his and Cassie's, and Bella in hers.

Dan was catching up on some sleep. He'd been out partying late with some old college friends the night before and knew he'd be in for another late night tonight collecting Cassie, Edward and Sammy from the airport, among other things.

Bella, after unpacking, was working on the book that Dan had prepared for Edward. She looked at her clock. They still had a couple of hours before dinner, and she suspected that she would get plenty of time to rest after that. She really wanted to get this just right for Dan. It was his first Christmas gift for his father.

_His father._

Bella looked out through the gauze window coverings and over the Manchester skyline.

How quickly and unexpectedly their lives had changed.

* * *

Several hours later, Bella was woken from a light sleep by a gentle tapping on her door. She crossed the room and opened the door to find Dan standing on the other side.

"Hi, love. It is time?"

"Yeah. I'm going to head off. If all goes well, we should be back in an hour and a half or so."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"I don't think five of us plus luggage would fit in the car, Mom."

"That's true."

They'd traveled down in Bella's little Honda. It was a great car for her but not for transporting five adults, three of them with luggage.

"Alright, then," she continued. "Drive safely. Give me a call when you leave the airport, and I'll meet you in the foyer when you get back."

"Ok. Thanks, Mom. Love you," Dan said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

Bella could see that Dan was quite eager to get going. His excitement was such that he seemed as if he was about to race down the corridor outside their rooms.

"Love you, too. See you in a bit."

"Shall do."

And with that he was gone, moving off quickly toward the elevator four doors down.

Bella watched him go, waving silently as he turned to look at her before stepping into the open elevator.

She quietly closed the door.

_Here we go_, she thought to herself. _Here we go_.

* * *

Dan was standing near the arrival gates waiting none too patiently for Edward and the girls to arrive.

He was shifting from one foot to another, hands in his pocket, the tail of his overcoat swaying with the movement. He was sincerely regretting the third cup of coffee he'd consumed in quick succession since arriving at the airport. He thought the coffee would help keep him awake and alert. He didn't think about an overriding and ill-timed urge to use the bathroom just as the "Landed" indicator began to flash next to their flight number.

"Dammit," he cursed loudly as he bolted for the men's room. At least, being a boy, he could make it quick.

The necessary ablutions completed, Dan rushed back towards the arrival collection area just as the first stream of people began to emerge.

Using his height to its full advantage, he easily spotted Cassie's blonde bob in the crowd making their way towards him and couldn't contain the huge smile that spread across his face. His hand, moving of its own accord, started waving frantically to gain her attention.

He was rewarded moments later when, upon Edward's direction, Cassie caught sight of him and a smile as large as his own was mirrored back at him.

Impatiently moving against the tide of people Dan kept pushing until he reached his girl. Within seconds, he had her scooped up in his arms, lifting her off the ground with the force of his hug. He buried his head in the nook of her neck as an overwhelming sense of happiness and calmness overtook him.

"Hi, Beautiful," he whispered against her ear before nuzzling her neck ever so gently with his lips.

Cassie giggled.

"Hi, yourself, Handsome."

Dan reluctantly put Cassie's feet on the floor, but he didn't let her go. He pulled back slightly to look into her eyes before giving her a tender kiss on her lips.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said, bending his knees and resting his forehead against hers, maintaining eye contact.

"Me, too."

"Ah...hel-lo!"

"Hi, Sam," Dan said, finally pulling his eyes away from Cassie's but still refusing to let her go.

"Geez. Where's my welcome? After listening to Cassie babble non-stop most of the way here, I at least expect a better welcome than that!"

"Sorry, Sam."

Dan removed one arm from around Cassie's waist and leaned over to give Sammy a kiss on the cheek while squeezing her arm in friendship.

She returned both gestures while smirking at her cousin at the same time.

Stepping back, Dan then looked towards his father who was standing there silently, a thoughtful expression on his face as he watched the easy interactions between the three younger ones.

"Hi, Edward," Dan said, removing his hand from Sammy's upper arm and extending it toward Edward.

"Hello, yourself, Dan. Merry Christmas."

"Oh, yeah! Right! Merry Christmas," Dan said, directing the comment to Edward first, and then to Sammy before using the greeting as another opportunity to quickly kiss Cassie.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered to her. He still hadn't let her go.

The crowd of people moved around the little group. Most paid no attention to the four of them, except for those who had to lift their heads and divert their paths to move around them.

"Let's go," Dan said to the three of them as he moved his hand to hold Cassie's tightly. "This way," he directed as he headed off, Sammy and Edward following in their wake.

"How was your flight?" Dan asked over his shoulder as they walked through the terminal.

"Good."

"Long."

"Too long."

"It wasn't so bad."

"Look who's talking Mr. I-slept-most-of-the-way-here-and-I-didn't-have-to-listen-to-Cassie's-non-stop-jabbering!"

"I wasn't that bad, Sam."

"Wanna bet?" Edward replied to which Sammy shot him a quick glare, narrowing her eyes and realizing something for the first time since they'd left California.

"You were faking?"

"Jasper gave me the heads up. Told me it works for him all the time."

"I can't believe you."

"Don't be jealous that you didn't think of it first, Sam. That's not my fault."

"Ooh!" Sammy exclaimed, sounding exasperated. "Well, you get to sit next to her on the way home. I'm getting the single seat, preferably in a separate section!"

"So, were you talking about me on the way here?" Dan teased Cassie, hugging her to him and kissing the top of her head as they continued walking.

"You. Her. Snow. You. New Year's Eve. You. Sexy lingerie. Sleigh rides. You. Sleeping in. You name it, she mentioned it."

"Sexy lingerie, huh?" Dan whispered in her ear as they awkwardly worked their way through the crowd side-by-side.

Cassie just hunched her shoulders and blushed while snuggling into Dan's shoulder.

"Is your mother here at the airport, Dan?" Edward asked, trying to change the subject. In just two minutes, the conversation already included sexy lingerie. He was screwed at keeping this a G-rated holiday, not that he had any hope of it in the first place, and he'd told Jasper as much.

"Nah. I didn't think we'd all fit in the car with the four of us and your luggage. It's just a little car."

"Speaking of luggage," Edward chimed in, "you should have thought of that while you were packing," Edward retorted.

"I've only got the essentials. There's spare room in it, you know, for the things that I pick up here."

"We'll get charged excess on the way back, I think."

"Not if you don't look like you're trying to lift an elephant when you put it on the scales."

"That was your father, not me. You'll be lifting your own bag. If you can't lift it, you lighten it. New rules."

"Rules? Who said anything about rules?"

"Me. Just now. You want to pack it, you gotta carry it."

"I left my father at home, Uncle Edward."

"Yeah, but he sent me with the manual."

"Toss it out. It doesn't work."

Sammy turned her attention back to Dan. "Which way to the car?"

"This way, but you might want to put your coat on. It's pretty cold out," Dan warned.

"The car's not far away is it?"

"In the parking lot. A couple of minutes walk to it, I suppose."

"I'll be all right."

"You sure, Sam?" Edward asked while buttoning up his own wool coat.

Cassie was already zipping up her large waist-length, thickly-padded coat, not much different from a ski jacket, before pulling out a pair of leather gloves from the pocket.

"I'm good."

"Alright, then. Don't say you weren't warned," Edward chastised her.

The group moved over to the large glass doors, which opened before them and let in a very cold gust of New England winter air.

"Holy Shit!"

"Told ya, so," Edward said, laughing and pushing past Sammy, who had stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the large glass doors.

"Shake a leg, Sam," Dan said as he led the way towards the parking station lot, pulling Cassie's bag in one hand while holding on tightly to her shoulders with the other.

"Give me a minute!" Sammy said as she pulled off to the side and hastily unzipped her bag to pull out a large, heavy winter coat, swearing under her breath the whole time.

With Sammy finally snugly wrapped in her coat, the group made it to the car. Dan awkwardly rearranged the bags to fit in the trunk of Bella's little Honda.

Dan moved around to the driver's seat while Cassie mirrored his movements, looking to sit in the front seat next to Dan.

"Don't mind me, Cass. I'm sure my legs can scrunch up in the back of this just fine," Edward teased his niece.

"Oh. Sorry, Uncle Edward. Would you like to sit in the front?" Ingrained courtesy won out, but the look in Cassie's eyes showed Edward that she'd only give up her position under sufferance.

"No, baby girl," Edward said, using the nickname he had for her since she was a baby. "I'll be fine. It's not actually that far to the hotel, is it?" he asked Dan while opening the door and preparing to squeeze himself into the rear seat behind Cassie.

"Only six miles or so. Not too far. Shouldn't take us long at this time of night," Dan said, getting into the car and closing the door.

"Good. See? I can fit. My knees don't even touch my chin!" Edward said, closing his own door in the process. "And really, we would all be a lot safer if Dan did manage to keep at least one eye on the road for those six miles rather than looking behind him all the time, isn't that right, Sam?"

"Whatever," Sammy said, rolling her eyes. Nobody had even bothered to ask here where she wanted to sit. It had only been twenty minutes, and already it hadn't taken long to become the extra wheel in this arrangement.

"Ready to go?" Dan asked, turning on the ignition.

"Yep!" Cassie replied excitedly, oblivious to her cousin's discontent..

"Let's go."

"Cass? Can you call Mom from my cell and let her know we're on our way? She's going to meet us in the foyer," Dan said, handing his phone to her.

"Sure."

"Bella's still up? She didn't have to stay up for us," Edward said.

"She's fine. She wanted to see you all when you arrived."

Cassie, in the meantime, had dialed Bella's number. She answered on the second ring.

"Hi, love. You got everyone, alright?"

"Hi, Bella. It's Cassie."

"Oh. Hi, Sweetie."

"Dan just wanted me to tell you that we're on our way to the hotel."

"Alright, Cass. I'll meet you all downstairs."

"OK. See you soon."

"Shall do. Bye!"

"Bye."

Cassie disconnected the call.

"Your Mom's on her way downstairs now."

"Good."

"She really didn't have to do that, you know," Edward said again.

"I know. She wanted to."

"That's nice."

"It's Christmas. She just wanted to see everyone on Christmas Day."

"Will we make it?" Edward asked glancing at his watch.

"If we're lucky." It was 11:40 p.m.

"That'd be good."

Pulling up to the Radisson at five minutes to midnight, the three weary but excited travelers and their chauffeur got out of the vehicle. The bellhop collected the keys from Dan and arranged for their bags to be taken up to their rooms while the group quickly made their way out of the winter cold and into the warm interior of the hotel.

"My god, it's cold," Sammy exclaimed.

"It's New Hampshire, Sam. It gets cold here."

"May as well be Alaska."

"Not quite. Look, there's Mom."

Dan pointed the group over to a set of chairs set off to the right. Having seen them pull up, Bella was making her way towards them with a book she'd been reading in her hands.

"Hello everyone," she greeted them, smiling warmly. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Bella," Cassie said, embracing Bella in a hug.

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Cassie. How was the flight?"

"Good."

"That's one opinion," Sammy said, stepping forward to give Bella a quick and polite kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas."

"It's good to see you again, Sammy," Bella said, acknowledging the gesture.

Finally, Bella turned to look directly at Edward.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," Edward intoned, his voice warm, his baritone a completely different sound to the higher pitch of the two girls who had spoken before him. There was a sparkle in his eyes as he looked at Bella, the intensity of the moment, being together with their son on Christmas, was not lost on either of them.

He leaned in to give Bella a brief kiss on the cheek, his right hand moving to hold her left arm at the elbow in order to close the gap between them. He was caught by the softness of her hair against his face in that briefest of moments as he kissed her before pulling back to smile into her eyes, genuine happiness and affection reflected in his own.

Bella almost perfunctorily returned his kiss – almost. Just like the first time he had gotten close to her at her house a few short weeks ago, Bella was struck by the scent of his cologne and the feel of his skin lightly brushing against hers. And again, just like last time, her breath unexpectedly caught in her throat. She had to remind herself to breathe out as he pulled away.

Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, Bella smiled self-consciously at Edward before turning her gaze back to the rest of the small group. The whole exchange had taken no more than a few brief seconds, but why did she feel like time had almost ground to a halt for a moment or two?

"Have you settled into your room?" Edward asked her while she was momentarily dazed. "Bella?" he said, trying to gain her attention.

"Hmm? Sorry? Yes. My room. It's lovely. Thank you," Bella said, trying to focus back on the present and not the feeling of where his hand had been on her arm.

"Good. I'll just go get our keys and be right back," Edward said, smiling before turning on his heel and moving across to the reception desk.

"I've already got our key, babe," Dan whispered in Cassie's ear.

Cassie nodded quietly in response. She could feel the knot in her belly, which had been ever present since the moment she set eyes on Dan at the airport, tighten just a notch.

"You made good time," Bella said to Dan, filling the quiet with polite conversation.

"Yeah. The traffic was minimal."

"That's good. Not too slippery out was it?"

"Nah. Most of the roads were freshly salted."

Bella nodded. She noticed by the way Dan was holding Cassie tightly to his side that his mind was elsewhere.

"So, you've found it pretty cold, hey Sammy?"

"Hell yeah! A popsicle would feel quite at home here."

Bella laughed.

"Only outside. Everywhere else is heated indoors."

"Thank God for that!"

"You get used to it," Bella tried to reassure her.

"I doubt it."

"It does take time," Bella agreed, being polite but wondering what on earth Sammy had expected coming to New Hampshire in the winter.

"Oh, look. Edward's on his way back," Bella noted, trying to direct the conversation to other things.

Edward crossed the room and moved back to the waiting group.

"Right. We're all checked in. Sam, here's your room key. Your bag will be in it by the time you get there."

"Thanks."

"So," Edward started. "Is anyone up for a drink before we call it quits for the night?"

Dan and Cassie looked sideways at each other, trying to communicate silently, but in all honestly, it was about as subtle as a brick. It was Sammy who broke the ice.

"Well, Uncle Edward. To tell you the truth, I'm beat, and these two here look like they're about to spontaneously combust, which wouldn't be all that nice in public. So, I vote that we go our separate ways and regroup in the morning."

At least Dan and Cassie had the courtesy to look abashed.

Bella looked at the two of them, her eyebrows creasing in the middle slightly. Nobody else noticed, except Dan.

"Yeah. Well, it is kinda late, and it has been a really long day," Dan said, catching his mother's eye but not really looking at her.

Cassie remained quiet.

"Well, I suppose if you're all too tired..." Edward started.

"Yeah, tired. I'm sure that's it, isn't it, Cass?" Sammy said.

This time, it was Cassie who discretely shot a warning look in Sammy's direction.

"Yes. Well. Breakfast sounds like a plan. What time do you want to meet up? Seven?"

"A.M!" Sammy exclaimed loudly – so loudly, in fact, that the bellhop looked in their direction as he struggled with the girls' luggage while loading it onto the trolley."

"Too early?" Edward asked innocently.

"If you're me? Yes!" Sammy said emphatically.

Dan and Cassie remained quiet.

"Breakfast is served until ten tomorrow. I inquired today as we checked in."

"Well, how about eight then?"

"Eight-thirty," countered Sammy.

"Nine," said Dan.

Bella looked closely at her son, again.

"Isn't that a bit late?" Edward asked.

"Not for me," Sammy said.

"Fine, then. How does nine sound to you, Bella?" Edward asked.

"Nine's fine," she said, giving Dan yet another knowing look. _Better not be late buddy_, her eyes warned him.

"Nine's good. Well, we'll see you in the morning. 'Night all. Merry Christmas."

"Me, too. I'm off. I'll see you all in the morning."

"Right, then. Well...goodnight," Edward said, a little taken aback at their quick departures.

"Night, kids," Bella said softly as Dan, with Cassie tucked firmly into his side and Sammy next to her, made their way towards the elevators.

"Well. That was quick," Edward said, smiling at Bella. "Should we have expected anything different?"

"Probably not," Bella said, looking at him and raising her eyebrows.

"Do you want to follow their lead and head off up to bed, too?" Edward asked. "It is pretty late."

Bella almost guffawed out loud but managed to contain herself. Why did her mind automatically pick up on a second meaning to Edward's innocent comment? She growled inwardly at herself. _What is it about this man that gets to you, girl? Huh?_

"It's probably a good idea," Bella replied innocently enough, giving nothing of her inner monologue away.

They began to make their way over to the elevators.

"So, how were things at the airport when you left California? Were they as bad as you'd expected?"

"The girls were all excited and giggly, especially Cassie. Emmett just kept trying to give me some kind of hand blessing. I think he's worried for my sanity."

Bella laughed.

"That good, huh?"

"It wasn't too bad," Edward said as they stopped at the elevator doors. "11th floor?" he asked Bella.

"Yes. We're all on the same floor. Adjacent rooms, actually. I asked when we checked in today."

"That should keep things interesting," Edward smirked and raised his eyebrows as the doors opened, holding them ajar to let Bella slip past him.

"Mmm."

Edward laughed.

"Still not wanting to talk about it?"

"Nope. Don't wanna. Not willing."

"I assume you had a bird-and-bees talk with him at some point along the way?" Edward asked sincerely. Bella could tell. His eyebrows were knotting together.

"Yes, and not all that long ago, in fact, and for the second time, I might add," Bella clarified when Edward's eyebrows unknotted and rose up into his hairline instead. "And, my Dad spoke to him years ago before he died."

"So, he should be well-versed in all things, birds-and-bees then."

"I certainly believe so."

"Good."

"You're off the hook," Bella said, looking up at Edward mischievously. "You can owe me one."

"Yes. Well. I'll make sure I do that."

"I'll hold you to it."

"OK."

They both laughed at the tone and the awkwardness of their conversation as the elevator slowly made its way up to the 11th floor.

"So, we don't need to have this conversation ever again?"

"I most certainly hope not."

"Phew. It was harder than I thought."

"You should try it with the son in question."

"Pass."

"Coward."

"I'm still on a learner's permit here. Give me a chance to get the hang of things."

"A parent's always on a learner's permit, Edward. Just when we think we've gotten things under control, something comes out of left field and knocks us out of the ball park again."

"Right."

"Just warning ya."

"I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

They exchanged a conspiratorial smile as the elevator finally stopped and the doors opened, allowing them access to their floor.

"Down here to the left," Bella said, leading the way.

"I'll follow your lead," Edward said, the phrase holding more meaning than just their present conversation.

They walked in companionable silence 'til they reached Bella's door.

"This is me," she said, pointing to her door.

"OK. Well, I'm just across the hall by the looks of it," Edward said, checking the number on his room key.

"Well. Goodnight, Edward. See you at breakfast in the morning."

"Yes. Breakfast at nine sharp," he said, giving her a wink.

"Indeed. Sharp."

"So will you knock on their door or will I?"

"You can do it."

"Great. Thanks," Edward said, rolling his eyes.

"You never know, they might surprise us," Bella suggested.

Edward gave her a knowing look.

"Ya think?" he said, sounding a lot like Sammy.

"Make sure you knock loudly," Bella laughed.

"Will do."

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella. Merry Christmas," he said, reaching up to give her arm a squeeze just like he did downstairs.

"Merry Christmas."

Bella swiped her room key and pushed open her door after hearing the obligatory click.

Edward watched and waited as she stepped into her room before turning to close her door.

"Sweet dreams," he said, quietly.

"You, too," she offered with a slight smile before closing the door on him as he stood in the corridor.

Edward smiled to himself as he turned on his heels and moved across the hallway to his own door. He was rubbing the fingers of his right hand against each other. He wondered why they tingled_. I must be more tired than I think._

* * *

_AN: My kids are on holidays again so I will work hard at getting the next chapter to you as soon as I am able...but I don't have a definite date so won't promise one. And I realise that in my eagerness I have posted this chapter without replying to reviews for the previous one. Forgive me?_

_I'm a religious person, so Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate this religious festival._

_For those not of the Christian faith, I wish you much happiness and joy at this special time of year._

_until next chapter_

_Leisa_


	32. Chapter 32

Here we are again.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 32 – One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.**

Edward woke slowly. He lay on his stomach, his arms encompassing a pillow that looked like it had been beaten into submission at some point during the night. He lifted his head only to turn it over and place it back on the pummelled pillow, his neck muscles straining and stretching from the unwelcomed movement.

He groaned audibly in the quiet room, signaling his body's reluctance to move from its current position. He gradually opened his eyes. Taking a moment or two to focus on his surroundings, he searched for a bedside clock, blinking his eyes into cooperation as he processed the time.

6:45 a.m.

"Awh," he again grumbled aloud as he let his head fall back to the pillow. He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep.

Nothing.

Time passed.

Still nothing.

Sleep wouldn't come.

He turned himself over and tucked his hands under the pillow, propping it further under his head.

_What is it about hotel pillows?_ he wondered.

He turned his head again to scrutinize the clock.

7.09 a.m.

_Well, I'm glad everyone insisted on a later breakfast._

Edward stared at the ceiling and tried to remember his dreams from the night before. They were eerily unreachable, and yet, he remembered them being so vivid that he was aware he'd tossed and turned considerably during the night.

It frustrated him that he couldn't remember. The more he concentrated, the more they seemed to drift just out of reach as feelings of uneasiness and concern began to wash over him.

_Whatever my dreams had been about, they definitely hadn't been happy ones,_ he concluded.

They'd left him feeling warn out and fatigued.

That was an unusual feeling for Edward. He usually awoke feeling refreshed and ready to attack the day; but not this morning, and that was not something he was used to.

Leaving the thoughts about his errant dreams behind him, he focused instead on the events of the previous twenty-four hours.

The day had been long. Midnight Mass with the family, then back to his place for some much needed sleep before spending breakfast and Christmas morning celebrating with all of them. It was unusual, but not unwelcome, to have his normally quiet house alive with the sounds of his loud and raucous extended family.

Breakfast, or brunch as it had turned out, had been casual and entertaining. Everyone had been in high spirits, especially the girls, and Edward had been surprised by just how quickly the morning had flown by.

The chaos at the airport only served to heighten his anticipation for the week ahead. Cassie, in particular, was bouncing around so much he thought she looked like one of those Tigger dolls he had bought her for a present when she was a young child. Emmett's constant, and none too subtle ribbing, accompanied by Jasper's over-anxious parenting, meant that Edward was relieved when he and the girls finally passed through security and were officially on their way towards the East Coast – even if they were yet to take off.

Edward smiled to himself remembering Jasper's restlessness at the airport. In the end, it had been Alice who had told him in no uncertain terms to chill out – much to Cassie and Edward's relief. Heavens, the girl had spent months unaccompanied overseas with Dan, and Edward couldn't understand why this time, Jasper was seemingly so stressed out about it [Maybe it had something to do with the fact that his little girl had grown up. The apple of his eye was an adult now and that realization was tough for Jasper to handle.

Edward smirked at the quietness of his room. He wondered which of the two, either Alice or Jasper, had sat down with Cassie and had the birds-and-the-bees talk. For the life of him, he couldn't imagine that Jasper would have been the one to do it, especially after his behavior at the airport. Just the thought of his daughter visiting her boyfriend made him uneasy.

Edward smiled, remembering his conversation with Bella about the exact same topic. If he had judged the situation accurately from their brief conversation the night before, Bella seemed to have tackled those issues with Dan head on. It appeared to be the exact opposite of the Jasper-and-Cassie state of affairs. Edward couldn't help but admire Bella's attitude toward it, even if she did seem just a little bit uncomfortable coming to terms with what _exactly_ was going on in the nearby room.

Edward's thoughts then drifted to what _he_ might have told Dan if _he'd_ been in the position of having to have _that_ talk with his son. Edward's eyebrows furrowed as he thought about such a conversation – the dos and don'ts, the shoulds and shouldn'ts, about the world of sex and intimacy. The joys and the responsibilities...

Those thoughts sobered Edward.

What would he have said?

_Don't sleep with someone when you're drunk?_

_Sex is great, but intimacy is better?_

_Wear a condom?_

The irony of the situation hit him like a steam train.

If he'd followed his own advice, he wouldn't have Dan in the first place, and even though he now "has" Dan, he didn't have the opportunity for the talk anyway.

_You fucked up on that score buddy_, his subconscious chastised him.

An old, familiar but unwelcomed feeling swept over him.

_Another milestone missed; another moment in time never to be recaptured._

Edward flipped over roughly in bed and pushed those negative thoughts away.

_I have Dan, now. I know Dan, now. The past is of no consequence to my decisions about my future. _

_**Today**__ is my doorway to tomorrow_, he reminded himself.

Edward lay in bed, valiantly trying to put into practice the skills and techniques he had learned during his years of therapy.

Still, it annoyed Edward that the bitter taste of missed experiences kept coming back to haunt him when he least expected it. He'd been working hard to not only establish a relationship with Dan over the last few weeks, but also to reach out to Bella, to try and put to rest her fear of him and his intrusion into her carefully organized and hard fought for life.

His thoughts now turned to Bella. He wondered if she was awake in the room across the hall, lying in bed and thinking about the day ahead.

He had to admit that he'd been pleased that Bella had been genuinely warm and approachable upon their arrival last night. He'd been a little concerned that maybe after the phone call they shared the day before, when things had gotten a little heavy and emotional, that she'd be a little more guarded with him once they met face-to-face again.

_Bella's a hard one to pin down,_ Edward surmised.

On the surface, and from Dan's descriptions of her, she seemed strong and fiercely independent, yet somehow, he felt that her outward demeanour was nothing more than a carefully constructed bluff. From the little time Edward had spent with Bella and getting to know her via email and chats, he suspected that there was also a wounded soul carefully hidden away from view. A soul that was protected by the confident and capable woman who faced the world each day, and who'd fought goodness knows what to single-handedly raise an intelligent, thoughtful and well-mannered young man.

Edward couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was that lead him to this theory. Observing her carefully as he had been, he'd noticed that she always found it easier to talk about Dan or her work or her family rather than herself. It also hadn't escaped Edward's attention that there were still some unanswered questions from some of his earlier emails to her. Again, he'd noted that those questions had been more of a personal nature – questions about her pregnancy and Dan's birth. Edward also now wondered if Bella might be prepared to answer those questions now since they seemed to be a little more comfortable with each other.

_Maybe I just asked those questions too early?_

He thought about this some more.

_Maybe she wasn't avoiding them altogether? Maybe she was just waiting for a more appropriate time to answer them?_

Edward mulled these thoughts over for a few moments longer. He still couldn't exactly put his finger on what led him to think that there was a lot more to Bella's story than what she was prepared to talk about. And this frustrated him.

He thought back to their second meeting – actually, it had been their third – just a few short weeks ago when they'd returned to Bella's house after dinner at the Thai restaurant. She'd said something to him then when they'd been alone together in the living room after Dan had been asked to give them a few moments of privacy.

_What was it that she'd said?_

He thought hard trying to recall their conversation.

"_I will explain things more, in time, but not now_," he recalled.

And there was some more.

"_Some things were very difficult for me back then. Dan knows next to nothing of them. It's a dark place to have to revisit."_

_Yes, that was it!_ Edward reminded himself, feeling happy that he'd finally remembered.

_There are things from her past around the time of the pregnancy that she doesn't like to think about._

Edward unknowingly took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

_I wonder if she will ever trust me enough to let me know what they are?_

He closed his eyes taking a moment or two to think back over these revelations before turning his head to look once more at the bedside clock.

7:47 a.m.

"Better move it, Cullen," he told himself aloud. "You've got a son to rouse."

Edward threw back the covers and heaved himself out of bed. He crossed to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, waiting for the water to heat up. His thoughts drifted to Dan and Cassie. He needed to make sure they made it to breakfast on time. This lead him to wonder when it was that Cassie planned on giving Dan and Bella the present the rest of family had gotten them for Christmas.

Edward grimaced. He wasn't sure how Bella would handle it. He knew from experience just how defensive she could be. Not for the first time, he wondered if counseling Cassie against making the grand gesture would be best for all concerned.

He stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over the back of his head before turning his face into the jets.

_Why do things have to be so damned complicated? _he thought in frustration.

_You know why, buddy,_ his subconscious reminded him. _You didn't use a condom._

* * *

It was a quarter to nine when Bella heard a light knocking on her door. Crossing to it, she peered through the peephole to see who it was on the other side.

"Oh, Edward," she said aloud, through the door. "Just a minute," she continued as she stepped back and unfastened the safety bolt before opening the door.

"Good morning," she welcomed him.

"Morning, Bella. I just thought I'd report in to say that the troops have been roused and will meet us for breakfast promptly at nine."

"You got them up and underway, did you?"

"Yes, I knocked loudly, just as you suggested," he said, giving her a wink, "but there was no need really. Dan was up, showered and dressed, and Cassie was drying her hair."

"Really?"

"Ah-huh. And Sammy was up and about, too. I knocked on that door just 'cause I thought it would be a bit of fun to stir her up."

"Did it work?"

"Like a charm."

Bella laughed.

"I thought I'd see if you were ready to head down to breakfast. I'll walk you down if you like."

"Sure. I'm ready. Just give me a second and I'll get my things."

"No problem."

Edward waited patiently in the hall. Bella returned promptly, carrying with her a handbag and a gift bag.

Edward noticed but didn't comment.

"Shall we go, then?"

"Sure."

"Here, let me get that," Edward offered, reaching for the door as Bella struggled to transfer items to one hand in order to close it with the other. "Have you got your key card?"

"Yes. No. Hang on," Bella replied, putting her back against the door to stop it from closing completely. "I think I put it in my...yep. There it is," she said, reaching her hand into the pocket of her pants and smiling up at Edward.

"Good. Ready?" he clarified before finally making a move to close the door behind her.

"Yes, thank you."

Moving down the hall they waited patiently for the elevator to arrive.

"So, did you sleep well?" Bella asked, making small talk.

"You know, I don't think so. I tossed and turned a lot, and had a few dreams, but I can't remember what they were about."

"I hate nights like those."

"Tell me about it. I'm usually up at the crack of dawn, but this morning, it was all I could do to drag myself out of bed."

"Maybe it was because it was such a long day for you yesterday."

"Could be," Edward answered as the elevator doors opened. "I have no idea what it was," he said, holding his hand against the open door while stepping back to give Bella entrance, "but I hope it's out of my system for tonight, that's for sure."

Bella punched the button for the lobby and watched as the doors closed behind them. "_No rest for the wicked_ is the saying. Have you been very wicked lately? Is that the problem?" Bella joked.

"Oh, Ms. Swan, if only you knew!" Edward said, smiling back at her and enjoying their easy banter.

"Now, don't you go teaching my son anything inappropriate, Mr Cullen," Bella intoned. "He's a good boy, he is, and not to be led astray by the likes of you!" she continued, putting on her best imitation of a Cockney accent.

Edward laughed out loud.

"Why Ms. Swan, I expect Ms. Dolittle would be proud."

"You think? I have no idea where that came from," Bella said, returning his laughter and shaking her head.

"Are you an Audrey Hepburn fan?"

"A fan of musicals to tell you the truth," Bella said.

"Really?"

"I love musicals. I think I've seen _The Sound of Music_ twenty times."

"I think nearly every adult has seen _The Sound of Music_ twenty times."

"Probably," Bella said, still laughing.

"Maybe there's a musical production here in town somewhere. Maybe an amateur theatre show we could catch."

"I don't know. Possibly. But wouldn't that be kind of....."

"Kind of what, Bella?"

"I don't know," Bella said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"What?"

"Below your usual standard," Bella said, finishing her original thought and wishing she'd never started the conversation in the first place.

"What? Amateur theatre?" Edward asked as the door opened up on to the Lobby.

"Yes."

"I love amateur theatre. I think it is the heart and soul of live production."

"Really?"

"There are a lot of talented musicians and actors in amateur theatre, Bella. Lots of people with big dreams, and some of them have the determination, not to mention the talent, to make a go of it."

"Is that how you started? How you first got into it?"

"At college in my final year, sure. But once I graduated I had to earn a living, so I focused my energies elsewhere. That doesn't mean I've lost my love for live production. Not in the slightest."

"Do you play much yourself anymore?" Bella asked as they made their way across to the _Café on the Park,_ the atrium-styled café where breakfast was served each morning.

"Not publically, but for my own ears and relaxation, yes."

"Do you still play keyboard?"

"Yes. And guitar, sometimes."

"Hmm," Bella said quietly, thinking back to a different time.

They walked side-by-side to the entrance of the café. There, they were met by a maitre d' who ushered them to a table. Edward courteously pulled out a chair for Bella before sitting himself opposite her.

"So, Bella. Did you sleep well last night?" Edward asked.

"Mostly."

"That doesn't sound very convincing."

"Let's just say that I think we both had a similar night's sleep," Bella responded.

"Is that so? Maybe we should have had that nightcap after all?"

"Maybe we should have, or quite possibly a camomile. That usually does the trick for me."

"Camomile tea?"

"Yes, I sleep like a log after one of those."

"Maybe we should pick some up today as a back-up plan then, just in case?" Edward suggested.

"Sounds like a plan."

"And if that fails, we can always try that nightcap."

Bella slowly nodded her head.

"Maybe."

* * *

Bella and Edward were enjoying their first cups of coffee when they were joined by their missing trio.

"Here come the kids," Bella commented as she looked over Edward's shoulder toward the entrance of the café.

Edward turned his head and smiled at the approaching threesome, Cassie leading the way.

"Morning," Cassie said as she met them at the table.

"Morning," Bella and Edward responded in sync.

"Hi, Mom, Edward," Dan said as he arrived last having followed Sammy in.

"Morning, love."

"Coffee looks good."

"I need coffee," Sammy moaned.

"Not a morning girl, are you Sam," Edward stated.

"I'm up, showered, dressed, and present," she replied, presenting her case concisely.

"And, oh so gracious."

Sammy shot her uncle a frosty glare. She was most definitely not a morning person.

"You'll be right, Sam. The coffee will perk you right up," Cassie chimed in.

"Did you not sleep well either?" Bella asked, looking at Sammy over the rim of her own coffee cup.

"Who else didn't sleep well?" Dan asked as he signaled to the server who was walking around the restaurant with the coffee pot.

"Your mother and I both seemed to have had a rough night of it."

"I slept like a log," Dan commented. He hadn't had any problem sleeping.

Personally, Sammy didn't think that Dan and Cassie would have gotten much sleep at all the previous night and she exercised great restraint as she hid her eyes behind one hand and leaned forward onto the table. Sammy had been gifted with her father's quick wit, but her mother's acid tongue and at times she had a devil of a job keeping both to herself.

"What's for breakfast?" Cassie chimed in, deftly changing the topic after noticing her cousin's behavior.

"There's a whole array of hot and cold items on the buffet."

"Sounds good to me. You've not gotten anything?" Dan asked, realizing that both his mother's and Edward's plates were still clean.

"Not yet. We were just enjoying our coffee."

"Well, I for one plan to change that right now. How about you, Bella?"

"Absolutely. I'm starving."

"Excellent. We'll try to leave you something," Edward joked as he pushed back his chair and made to move from the table.

"I'll be right there," Dan said before leaning briefly over to catch his mother's attention. "Mom. Did you bring the...?" he whispered in her direction.

"Beside my chair under the table," Bella whispered back conspiratorially, giving him a wink.

"Thanks."

Bella put her hand on her son's shoulder and smiled before leaving the group and walking over to the buffet, Edward having waited to follow her.

"What was that about?" Edward asked her curiously.

"Nothing really, but you'll see," Bella replied cryptically. "Goodness, where do we start?" she said as she eyed the brightly lit display in front of her.

"With a plate."

"Very funny."

"I thought so. Here," Edward said, passing one to Bella. "Meet you on the other side?"

"I always select too much food at these things. A little bit of this and a little bit of that turns into a whole lot of something on my plate by the time I get back to the table."

"I know what you mean. I bet, though, that my whole lot of something can beat yours."

"Probably. You're male."

"True."

Bella and Edward's banter, and its easy style of conversation was fast becoming the norm for them. It continued as they made their way around the buffet. Soon, they had been joined by the others who began piling food onto their plates with gusto. Obviously, they were all very hungry this morning; although, by the size of the selections on Dan' plate, one could assume he was feeding a small tribe rather than only himself.

Having returned to their table, playful conversation was interspersed with moments of silence as the group ate their breakfast and drank their coffees, the server having been beckoned to their table more than once.

Finally, after Dan finished his second full plate of eggs, bacon and hash browns, he sat back and stretched over the back of his chair, no doubt trying to make room for his food to settle.

"Are you full, yet?" Bella asked, an amused twinkle in her eye.

"For the moment," Dan quipped back.

"I couldn't eat another bite," Cassie said.

"Not even for chocolate-filled croissants from this great bakery I know?" Dan asked her.

"Sounds rich."

"Sounds tempting," Sammy chimed in.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Edward asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Shopping," Sammy and Cassie answered simultaneously.

"We need boots, apparently," Cassie went on to explain. "What we brought with us won't do, or so we've been told," she continued in response to Edward's raised eyebrows.

Bella nodded her head, having just taken a sip of her coffee. "Boots are very handy here – a necessity really – especially if you intend to do a lot of walking at this time of year," she replied once she'd swallowed the black brew.

"Where's some good shopping around here?" Edward asked, resigning himself to at least one morning's worth of window shopping and baggage handling.

"We're pretty close to the middle of the shopping district in town," Dan explained. "You wouldn't have noticed it coming in as late as we did last night, but everything's within walking distance of here."

"Boots it is, then."

"Among other things," Sammy hinted as she sipped at her own coffee.

"I'd like to do something else first," Cassie said.

"What's that, Cass?" Bella asked.

"I've got something here for you and Dan from the family for Christmas."

"Oh."

"Cassie," Edward said, trying to catch his niece's eye. He hadn't had the chance this morning to raise his concerns with her over the family's gift.

"Yes?"

Edward realized that he had not only gotten Cassie's attention, but that of the whole table as well.

"Maybe we should do this a little later," he suggested, trying to buy himself some time where he could talk to her about it and silently cursing himself for not having raised it with her at all during the flight the day before.

"I've got a little something here, too, Edward," Dan said, interrupting.

"Oh," Edward replied, sensing the moment was going to move forward whether he wanted it to or not. "Alright, then," he finished, hoping for the best.

"Who's going to go first?" Sammy said, putting down her coffee cup.

"Me!" Dan said, full of excitement at the gift he had prepared for Edward.

"So, what did you get Cassie for Christmas, Dan?" Sammy asked.

"Oh, I got my present last night," Cassie said.

Edward snorted into his coffee.

Bella's eyes widened in shock.

Sammy, this time, couldn't contain herself. "Gawd, Cass. Subtle much?"

"What?" Cassie asked, looking around the table, her own eyes widening as much as Bella's when she realized just how her innocent words had been interpreted.

"No! NO!" she exclaimed, thrusting out her right arm to display a lovely rose gold bracelet dangling from it. "Look! My bracelet! Dan gave me my bracelet last night when we got back to our room!"

Bella shut her eyes trying to regain her composure before reaching delicately for Cassie's arm and admiring the bracelet that hung there. Of course, she'd known about it. Dan had showed it to her a week or so ago and asked for her opinion. _Get your mind out of the gutter, Bella_, she warned herself as she focused on the shiny piece of jewelery in front of her.

"It's lovely, Cassie."

"Thank you, Bella," Cassie replied, looking abashed as her eyes shot to meet Dan's.

Dan smiled at her, glad that she was happy with her gift but embarrassed for the both of them that the whole table had apparently given considerable thought to the activities in their hotel room the night before.

"Well. Ah, Edward," Dan said, reaching for the gift bag nestled against the table leg. "Mom and I put this together for you."

He lifted out from the bag, a rectangular shaped gift covered in Christmas wrapping, tied with blue and silver curling ribbon.

Without another word, he handed it to Edward, who seemed genuinely taken aback at receiving a gift.

"Thank you," Edward said, momentarily lost for words.

He held the gift gently in his hands before turning it over and carefully removing the ties from around it.

Cassie and Edward exchanged meaningful glances as Edward began to unwrap it. Dan had told Cassie of the gift the night before, but she had yet to see since Bella had kept it in her room. Sammy looked on curiously. She had no idea what it was.

Bella, on the other hand, felt suddenly uncomfortable, and her eyes moved back and forth from Edward opening the gift to her hands that rested entwined on the table in front of her. Her heart rate sped up just slightly as her growing unease took hold.

Edward lifted the gift, a hardcover book, away from the paper and dropped the paper to the floor beside his chair. His eyes were transfixed on the glossy cover of the item he held in his hands.

His eyes scanned the title set out in front of them.

_The Life and Times of Dan Swan to date._

Silently, Edward regarded the picture on the front cover. It was a photograph of Dan, smiling back at him, with what seemed to be his backpack on his back.

Edward looked up and met Dan's eyes across the table, a soft smile tugging at the edges of his mouth, before moving them to try and catch Bella's gaze.

She felt his eyes come to rest on her, and she lifted her own gaze and returned his gentle smile before once again diverting her gaze to the inside of her hands as her fingertips played with each other.

Edward returned to looking at the book, carefully opening the front cover as if it were some delicate piece of paper that would tear with rougher handling.

The title page met him.

_Here in lies photographs and recollections of the life story of Dan Swan to date – well, at least the good bits._

_Created for Edward, December 2009._

_Merry Christmas._

Too overcome with emotion to speak, Edward turned the next page to see a photograph of a very pregnant Bella at what looked like a backyard barbeque. She was side on, her face turned slightly toward the camera. The photographed was labeled, _Easter, 1988_.

Cassie and Sammy were straining their necks to see the page from where they were seated.

Dan broke the silence.

"That's a picture taken a few weeks before I was born. You have no idea how hard it was to find a picture of Mom pregnant with me. There weren't any in any of our albums. I found that one in a box of old photographs in the basement. I had to digitally crop it and enlarge it, too. Mom was only a tiny little person among all these other people in it. That's why the resolution isn't quite so good."

Edward looked to Dan as he spoke before, once again, quickly shifting his eyes to catch Bella's, but she wouldn't look in his direction this time. Edward turned the page.

Next was a photograph of a new born baby – dark haired and swaddled in a baby blanket – the typical hospital photograph.

"That's me. One day old. I looked like a prune," Dan said in a self-deprecating tone. The photo was labeled 21st March, 1988.

Next to it, in Bella's handwriting was the following note.

_Dan Swan_

_9lb 3oz_

_22 inches_

_15 hour labor_

"You were a week overdue. Babies that are overdue can look like that. You overstayed your time in the oven."

Bella had spoken quietly, looking to Dan as she did.

"I can't believe somebody can love something that looks like that," he joked as he put his arm around the back of his mother's chair to rub her far shoulder.

"It happens," Bella said simply, "without you even realizing it." Her voice remained unusually quiet.

"Worked out good for me," Dan said, not picking up on his mother's moment of awkwardness. "I sure lucked out on that score."

Bella smiled at her son's response. Unbeknownst to her, Edward had been watching the exchange closely, and he'd noticed that Bella's smile hadn't reached her eyes. In fact, her eyes had barely left the table where she was now playing with some leftover bread crumbs from her toast.

Edward returned his attention to the book in front of him. He turned one page after the other, briefly admiring the obvious work that had gone in to producing such an invaluable gift.

"Uncle Edward. Stop there. What's that one?" Cassie asked, reaching over to stop him from turning any more pages.

"Oh! Look at you!" she cooed. "In a cowboy suit! Was that Halloween?"

"Let me see," Dan said, dropping his arm from behind Bella and leaning over the table to get a better look.

"No, that was a birthday party. Cowboys and Indians. Very politically incorrect these days. Mom wrote about it, I think. Did she say how old I was?"

"Ah...five," Cassie said, reading through Bella's notes that accompanied the picture.

"You look cute...what happened?" Sammy taunted.

Edward smirked.

"I grew into my ears," Dan laughed.

"I can't see your ears under the hat."

"I'm surprised. I had Dumbo ears."

"They weren't that bad," Bella admonished.

"They were shocking! It was either my ears or the haircuts you gave me."

"Oh! What's that one?" Cassie said, pointing to another photo and actually removing the book from Edward's grasp.

"That was my first fish. That's my Grandpa Charlie. He took me out on the lake, and that was my first-ever catch."

The two girls continued to flip through page after page watched by everyone else at the table, including Bella, who smiled as the girls continued to ooh and ahh over different pictures.

Edward looked up from the girls to catch Bella's eye at one point.

_Thank you_, he mouthed silently to her, his eyes conveying the full extent of his gratitude for such a priceless gift. It was worth more to him than any other gift he had ever received.

Bella smiled gently in response, mouthing a silent, _you're welcome_ before returning this time to fidget with the coffee mug in front of her.

_Oh, Bella_, Edward thought, _why are you feeling so uncomfortable_?

As if Bella could read his thoughts, she looked up at him again and smiled a tight smile.

"Wow, this book is just fantastic," Cassie said. "I wish I had a copy."

"You've got the original," Dan told her, winking to reinforce the point. "You don't need the 2D version."

"Very funny! Oh, Look!" she exclaimed for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "There's me!"

Sure enough, the second to last page in the book showed a picture of Dan and Cassie taken together on their trip in Australia. It was annotated with the date and the words, _Me and my girl_.

The last page simply held the following words, as if in promise..._To be continued_.

"Well. My present is just going to pale in comparison to this," Cassie stated as she closed the book and handed it back to Edward.

"The family's present," Sammy corrected Cassie.

"Yes. I meant that," she said, acknowledging her cousin. "Well, Bella. Here it is," and with that, Cassie removed a white envelope from her bag and handed it to Bella. "Merry Christmas from all the family, Bella."

"Thank you, Cassie, but this is truly unexpected."

"That's alright. It was something that my Mom and Grandma came up with, and it seemed like a really practical idea."

"Now you have me intrigued."

"Open it, Mom," Dan urged.

"I'm opening it. I'm opening it."

"Actually, it's for you and Dan, Bella," Cassie clarified.

Bella gently opened the envelope and pulled out a card. Inside it was an invitation and a slip of paper – a note of some sort. Bella read the note carefully, Dan looking over her shoulder the whole time.

"I don't know what to say," Bella said, her voice sounding incredulous and embarrassed at the same time.

"Say, yes, you'll come," Cassie urged.

Bella read the note and the accompanying invitation for a second time. She raised her eyes to Edward. He'd said nothing, but his eyes tried to convey to Bella that he understood her reticence while at the same time, offering her reassurance.

"Cassie, of course, I'd like to come. It's lovely to have been invited, but this is a very expensive undertaking for your family."

"Bella, Mom and Dad have frequent flyer points waiting to be used, and it would please all of us if you could make it out to California for my birthday weekend. You could stay with us or with Uncle Edward," Cassie reasoned, "and the party isn't until that Saturday night, so there would be plenty of time for you to look around and see things. We weren't sure when you would want to travel, so we didn't actually make a booking as such, but the voucher that Mom drew up on the computer is our way of saying that if you can make it, we have a way of getting you there."

"Mom, it would be great. You could meet the rest of Cassie's family. You might have to take a day or so off work since it's not a long weekend at all, but we could fly out late on the Thursday night and fly back on the Monday so you could be back at work by the Tuesday."

"Sounds like you have it all planned out," Bella said. "Did you know this was coming?"

"No. Not really," Dan hedged, "but I had given it some thought as to how I might try to make it out there for the weekend, and that was what I'd planned."

"Please say, you'll come, Bella," Cassie begged. "It would be wonderful to have you there."

"It's a very generous thought, Cassie. Very generous. I will definitely try and work things out from this end, and I'll let you know. Would that be alright?"

"Yeah, that would be great. Really great."

"Good, and thank you, love, and you too, Sammy. I'll write to your mothers and your Grandmother to say thank you for the thought, too."

"Oh, no need. Just telling them that you can make it will be thanks enough."

"We'll see," Bella said, leaving it at that.

"Well," Edward said, aware of Bella's feelings and wanting to end the moment. "Do you think we should make a move and start the rest of the day?"

"I'm up for it," Dan said eagerly.

"Well, that's us two boys in. What about you girls?"

"Yeah. I'm in," Cassie replied."

Sammy concurred. "Me, too."

"Good. Bella?" Edward asked, looking at her directly.

"Hmm. Yes. Of course. What time do you want to leave?"

"How about we regroup in the lobby in about twenty minutes? Will that give everyone enough time to go back to their rooms and do what they need?"

"Works for me."

"Yep."

"Twenty minutes sounds fine," Bella said, collecting her bag from under the table and preparing to stand.

The group rose from their table and began to make their way out of the café and over towards the elevators. The girls were chatting about their intended purchases, Dan holding hands with Cassie just glad to be in her company. Bella and Edward followed a few paces behind.

"Thank you for the book, Bella. A lot of work has gone towards putting it together in such a short space of time."

"Dan worked really hard on it. He spent hours poring through old albums and boxes of photos, and then had to scan them and arrange it in a file. He was pretty worried that it wasn't going to arrive back in time for Christmas. He drove to the photolab and collected it himself on Christmas Eve. I think he nagged the poor shop owner to death, making sure it came through on time."

"I really look forward to spending some time going through it all sometime when the girls aren't around to hijack it."

Bella smiled. "That might be the safest bet."

"Bella?" Edward started, reaching for her arm to slow her down a little and put a bit of distance between the others and themselves.

"Yes?"

"About Cassie's gift..." Edward started but not quite sure how to proceed.

The sound of the elevator doors opening interrupted the moment.

"Are you coming in this one or do you want to wait for the next one?" Dan called from beside the lift.

"We're coming," Bella answered, looking over her shoulder towards him.

"Bella," Edward tried again.

"Edward, they're holding the elevator for us. Can we talk about this later? Please?"

Edward let go of Bella's arm reluctantly and nodded his head. He didn't feel like an audience and there was a ready-made one waiting inside the elevator.

"Alright. Let's go."

Without another word, Bella moved toward the lift with Edward right behind her.

The doors closed, and they made their way to the 11th floor in silence, the only sound being that of the elevator as it hummed its way to its destination.

A ding announced their arrival, and Bella was the first to step out.

"Everyone in the lobby again in fifteen minutes," Edward reminded them.

"I thought we had twenty?" Sammy asked.

"We did," Edward agreed, "but that was five minutes ago."

"Right."

The group parted and each moved to their own rooms.

Bella opened her door and stepped inside.

Edward did the same.

Each turned to close their door, their eyes locked momentarily. Bella offered Edward a slight smile before closing her door.

_Oh Bella_, Edward thought as he closed his own door. _Don't..._

_Don't what?_ he thought...

_Don't be embarrassed?_

_Don't be angry?_

_Don't be upset?_

_Don't be shy?_

_Don't feel railroaded?_

_Nah..._none of that fit what he was most worried about.

_Don't pull away_, he sighed. _Please don't pull away_.

* * *

AN: Thanks to my betas. You three and wonderful people...and who would ever have thought at two simple words like "Morning Tea" could cause 20+ emails and such detailed investigations. LOL! I embrace cultural differences...but the rest of you will be grateful my betas beat the "Aussie" out of my writing.

This story is still attracting new readers, so to those of you out there in ficland who are recommending TTTB to others - my heartfelt thanks. I love getting reviews from first time readers and reading their thoughts on the story.

Hell, I love getting reviews, full stop. Take a moment to leave me one, will you please? They make me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy (well, sometimes that's the wine, but hey, I'll take both...)

Until next time,

Leisa


	33. Chapter 33

Welcome back.

Thanks to Grendel and Lalina for their continued help and support.

This is my longest chapter for quite a while. Grab a coffee or a glass of wine. You might want it.

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END - PLEASE READ.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 33 – Simmering Emotions**

Bella walked away from the door and into her room. She crossed towards the large queen-sized bed and sat down heavily, looking at her reflection in the mirror that adorned the wall above the dresser at the foot of the bed. She regarded herself closely.

_How good's your poker face, girl? _she asked herself.

Bella thought back to breakfast in the café. She'd readied herself, or so she'd thought, for the moment when Dan would give Edward his gift. She'd expected an emotional reaction from Edward, but what she hadn't expected was her own intense feelings as he'd stared in wonder at his gift.

_What happened down there?_ she asked herself, bluntly_. Why couldn't you maintain eye contact with him?_

Bella had taken hours annotating the photographs Dan had selected for the book, and it had been an emotionally charged experience for her. The process had made her face just how much time had been lost to both Dan and Edward during the intervening years and what her decision so long ago had cost them all. The responsibility for the outcome of that decision lay squarely on her shoulders. She had believed for so long that she'd made the right decision at the time. Now that she was being confronted by the ramifications of her choice, she understood that she had erred.

_You can't change the past_, she reminded herself. _What's done is done_.

Bella continued to stare almost coldly at her reflection in the mirror.

Even as she sat alone in her room thinking back over those intense few minutes at breakfast, Bella's heart rate picked up. She gave her shoulders a shake.

_Pull it together, girl_.

Bella looked at her watch. Realizing she had just ten minutes left before she was expected to meet the others in the lobby, she stood and went to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, touched up her lipstick and tucked her hair behind her ears.

_Forward march!_ she thought, willing herself on while once again staring intensely at her reflection. She narrowed her eyes slightly, deliberately staring her innermost, angst-ridden self into submission.

Bella turned on her heels and headed out of the bathroom. She grabbed her purse from the end of her bed and walked towards the door. Inhaling and gathering her courage, she opened the door and stepped out into the corridor. It was empty. She turned and walked towards the elevator, and waited patiently for it to arrive and transport her into the rest of her day.

When Bella emerged from the elevator in the lobby, Edward was at the reception desk talking to the hotel staff. His back was to her, but she recognized him easily. His long coat was draped on the counter next to him, and he was leaning forward resting casually on his forearms, deep in conversation. Bella looked around the lobby for any sign of Dan or the girls, but they were nowhere to be seen. She hesitated, wondering if it was appropriate to make her way over to join Edward and interrupt his conversation.

Bella regarded him closely from her vantage point. He cut a fine figure dressed casually as he was in a cable knit sweater over woollen trousers and black boots.

Bella was startled from her reverie by the sound of a ding as elevator doors opened and Dan and the girls made their way towards her.

"Don't tell me we've beaten Uncle Edward," Sammy exclaimed as they neared Bella.

"No. He's over by the reception desk," Bella answered, gesturing with a brief nod of her head.

"What's he doing?" Dan asked her.

"I've got no idea. I just arrived myself."

"Hmm," Dan replied, watching Edward while simultaneously pulling Cassie to his side. "So, are you ready to go shopping with the girls, Mom?" he asked, turning his attention away from his father and toward his mother.

"Definitely. It will be a new experience for me, shopping with two young ladies," Bella answered politely. "I usually go shopping on my own or occasionally with Dan for his things," she explained to the girls. "Come to think of it, the last time I went shopping with him was for a suit that he never ended up buying."

"Hmm," Dan said again, smiling. "That's right. I'd forgotten about that."

"What happened?" Cassie asked. "Why didn't you end up buying your suit?"

"It was the night Dan told me that he wasn't going to work right after graduation and wanted to go traveling to Australia with Chris and Dean instead," Bella answered for him.

"Really?" Cassie said, turning to face Dan.

"Mmm-mm," Bella said, continuing the story. "I met him at the mall after work one day intending to go shopping, and he dumped that on me while eating a burrito," she said, laughing at the memory. "Here I was thinking that we were going to come home with a suit, and he came home with tourist brochures."

"You told her at the mall?" Cassie asked incredulously.

Dan shrugged. "It was just one of those moments," he conceded. "Still, it turned out to be a fairly auspicious decision really, don't you think? Worked out good for everyone all round, huh?" he concluded, enveloping Cassie in his arms and kissing her on the top of the head.

"Definitely worked out good for me," Cassie said, snuggling back and returning Dan's affectionate embrace.

"Do you hear much from Dean these days?" Sammy asked, genuinely interested.

"Emails mostly. He's working in Sydney and saving money for more travel next year – England's next on his list, apparently."

"I liked Dean. He was nice," Sammy said wistfully.

"Speaking of Dean, Chris called just before. He's going to meet us tonight. I thought we could go out clubbing."

"With Chris?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah. He said he'd be here about six or so. He has a family thing happening today but will come over after that."

"I wonder if he dresses any better here than he did there?" Sammy asked, referring to their time in Australia where Chris lived in mostly mismatched shorts and t-shirts.

"I'm sure he'll scrub up alright for you, Sam," Dan said, once again looking over toward Edward and realizing that he'd finished at the reception desk and was making his way over to the group. "Here comes Edward," Dan said with a nod in his direction.

"So, are we ready for a morning of shopping?" he asked as he joined the group.

"Who said anything about a morning?" Sammy asked. "I don't know about you, but I've never been here before, so a morning sounds like we're limiting things a bit."

"You're here for a week, Sam. There'll be plenty of time for you to make your mark. You don't have to conquer everything in one day," Edward reminded her.

"I know," she said, tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulders and then leveling a gaze at her uncle. "You really don't get girls, do you?"

"Oh, I get that I'm going to be a baggage handler for most of the day," Edward answered her with a smile.

"You got that right."

"At least I've got support," Edward said, nudging Dan.

"We could stop off for a beer with lunch," Dan said back under his breath. "I'm sure that could help things."

Edward laughed.

"Let's move, folks," Cassie said, releasing herself from Dan's arm and reaching for his hand instead. "Time's a wasting."

Without much ado, Dan, Cassie and Sammy led the way out of their hotel and onto the sidewalk. Edward pulled on his coat as he walked beside Bella toward the entrance.

"I was talking to the reception girl about live theatre in the area. There are a couple of possibilities I can check out today if you're still keen on seeing a show. Maybe the kids would like to come, too."

"When are you thinking of? They're going out clubbing tonight with Chris."

"Since when?"

"Ten minutes ago or so, I think."

"So, it's just the two of us tonight then?" Edward asked.

"Looks like it," Bella agreed, "unless of course you want to go clubbing?"

"Not my scene. Music's too loud," Edward said as he stepped back to let Bella pass through the hotel doors.

"Not my scene, either," Bella answered. "Never has been really."

"You never went to clubs much when you were in college?"

"Baby – remember?" Bella said, nodding towards Dan. "Not much opportunity for dancing 'til the wee hours with a baby in tow."

"I suppose not," Edward said quietly, feeling thrown off balance. "I hadn't thought about that. Sorry."

"That's alright," Bella said, brushing his apology aside. "Not your fault."

"Isn't it?" Edward asked her.

"No. My situation. My choice."

"Hmm," Edward said, frowning and pushing his hands deeper into his coat pockets as they followed the others up the sidewalk.

A few moments of awkward silence passed between the two of them. Bella watch the trio in front – they were laughing and chatting contentedly among themselves. She felt momentarily melancholy for herself but happy for her son at the same time.

"Did you ever go out much?" Edward asked her.

"No."

"'Cause of Dan?"

"Because I was a parent _and_ I was working _and _I was studying. There was never much time for anything else."

"But what about your friends?"

Bella shrugged. "My life was different from theirs. We no longer had anything much in common."

Again, Edward processed this information silently before continuing.

"They didn't try to stay in contact with you?"

"Sometimes, but not much. We were in different places."

Edward frowned, wondering whether she meant geographically or emotionally.

"They didn't stay local for college?" he decided to ask.

"Are you kidding me? Most of them took the chance to go somewhere else entirely. And the ones who didn't? Well, we weren't really all that friendly."

Again, Edward appeared to stay quiet – at least outwardly – internally, his mind was a whirl as he tried to picture how different his and Bella's early adult years had been.

When Bella didn't elaborate any further after a few moments, Edward steered the conversation to smoother waters.

"So, if the kids _are_ going out tonight, would you like to try and catch a production somewhere?"

"I suppose. Did you have any particular show in mind?"

"The reception staff suggested some local theatres, so I could try and get tickets today while I'm standing around and twiddling my thumbs."

"Feeling a little superfluous already are you?" Bella smiled.

"I'm predicting something like that."

"Maybe we can sneak off undetected at some point and leave them to it."

"You're not that keen on a day's shopping either?" Edward asked her, sounding surprised.

"Not the whole day," Bella clarified. "It's been a good while since I've been window shopping but a couple of hours will be enough for me."

"Should we have some kind of secret signal then to indicate when we've had enough?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I suspect you'd be no good at poker. I think your face will give you away easily."

"Look who's talking. Your emotions are always written all over your face."

"No, they're not," Bella said.

"Yes, they are," Edward said, looking at her intently. "Like this morning at breakfast. It was easy to see that things became a little uncomfortable for you."

Bella looked up at Edward quickly. "I don't know what you mean," she replied defensively.

Edward regarded her closely. _Oh, Bella, you are so easy to read at times. _He said nothing aloud but simply raised his eyebrows in response.

"Really, Edward..." Bella started, but stopped abruptly when she nearly walked into the back of Cassie and Dan who had stopped ahead of them.

"Do you mind if we take a look in here?" Cassie asked, unaware that she had interrupted a rather tense exchange between Edward and Bella.

Edward hesitated briefly, his gaze lingering on Bella before he responded to his niece.

"Sure. Whatever suits your fancy," he said distractedly. "I'm purely along for the ride today."

"Great!" Cassie said enthusiastically.

Dan merely rolled his eyes in response and then grinned as she shouldered him none too gently.

Sammy led the way into the store, Dan and Cassie following immediately behind her. Edward gallantly stood back and made a sweeping gesture with his arm offering Bella the right of way.

"Thank you," she responded quietly, looking up at him shyly as she passed.

"You're welcome," he replied courteously before following her into the first of many stores for the day.

Several hours and a dozen shopping bags later, the group was sitting down at yet another café taking a mandatory coffee break. Dan was eating again.

"So, what would you all like to do for the rest of the afternoon?" Edward asked, hoping to escape yet more hours of shop-'til-you-drop excitement.

"I think I'd like to go back and get those black boots I saw earlier," Sammy said before sipping her latté

"What? The ones with the five-inch killer heels?" Dan said in disbelief.

"No, the other ones with buckle on the side."

"Ah, the four-inch killer heels," Dan said, nodding knowingly while successfully managing to mock the girls at the same time.

"Oh, I liked those," Cassie concurred. "I told you that you should have gotten them."

"I could wear them out tonight."

"They'd look great with that black fitted dress," Cassie encouraged sipping at her own mocha.

"I'd look great in them wearing that black fitted dress," Sammy said, her voice lowering to suggest that she knew exactly how good she would look.

"Are you dressing to impress someone, Sam?" Dan asked her.

"No one in particular," Sammy answered dismissively. "I dress for myself, but if other people like what they see, that's a bonus," she finished, winking at him.

"Heaven help the men of New England," Dan shot back at her. "I'll pray for their souls before we leave."

"No need. I'm no succubus. I leave them in the same state I find them in – bedazzled," she said, fluttering her eyes femininely.

Edward and Bella exchanged quiet looks but said nothing.

"Nothing like a bit of overconfidence there," Dan chided Sammy.

"Confidence is alluring, Dan," she shot back.

"Yes. Well," Edward interrupted. "I don't know about anyone else, but I'm ready to head back to the hotel. I've got a few phone calls I can make, and my arms sure would appreciate the break," he continued, nodding toward the shopping bags piled around his feet.

"I could do with a rest to tell you the honest truth," Bella said, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. "Oh, pardon me," she apologized, "three late nights in a row are catching up with me, I think."

"How about we head back to the hotel then, and you kids can keep on keeping on 'til your hearts are content," Edward suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Bella answered. "You wouldn't mind if I called it a day?" she asked, directing her question to Cassie.

"No. That's fine," Cassie said. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so tired."

"That's alright, love," Bella said warmly. "It's old age catching up with me."

"You're not old, Bella," Cassie responded kindly. "You're younger than my mom, and she hates it when I think of her as old."

"Yes, I doubt that would earn you any brownie points," Bella agreed, laughing.

"So you're abandoning me then, are you?" Dan asked, directing his question toward his parents.

"She's your girlfriend," Edward countered.

"She's your niece."

"Girlfriend trumps niece."

"Since when?"

"It's in the rule book."

"What rule book? There's no rule book."

"You're right. There's not. Not for our situation, that's for sure. So, I'm writing one."

"You're writing one?"

"Yes. Starting now."

"That's cheating."

Edward shrugged. "Deal with it...and carry your own girlfriend's shopping."

"What about my shopping? Who's going to carry that?" Sammy piped in.

"Go find yourself a bedazzled man," Edward said, laughing.

Everyone at the table joined in.

Having returned to the hotel, Bella bade Edward goodbye at her room. She'd intended to catch a couple of hours sleep and settled in with her book, expecting that she would fall off to sleep momentarily.

It annoyed her when an hour later she was still awake, her mind active and alert despite her body's fatigue.

Not finding any solace in her book, she rose from her bed and crossed to look out over the skyline. Snow clouds loomed on the horizon. She wondered how much fresh snow would fall that evening.

She turned as she heard a knock on her door.

Crossing the room she looked through the peephole and saw Edward standing on the other side.

Upon opening the door, she was met by his smile, and she noted, with interest, the crinkles around his eyes. She liked the way his smile was reflected in his eyes and how they managed to look warm yet mischievous at the same time.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" Edward asked, greeting her.

"No, if only. I've been trying to sleep for the last hour, but the ol' brain," she said tapping her head, "won't seem to switch off."

"Did you try reading?"

"I think that's why it wouldn't switch off."

"Oh?" Edward asked, still standing in the doorway to her room.

"Would you like to come in? I was just about to make a cup of coffee."

"Instant?" Edward asked.

Bella pursed her lips. "Well, I suppose we could order the real stuff from room service," she offered.

"Throw in the real stuff and I'm all yours," Edward said as he stepped into the room.

Edward followed Bella over to the small table in her room.

"Our rooms are very similar; they're a mirror image, basically," Edward said, looking around briefly.

"I hadn't given it much thought," Bella said offhandedly. "Is there something particular you'd like me to order?"

"A mocha or latté is fine with me, thanks."

Bella called room service and ordered their real coffee. With that finished, she turned to face Edward.

"So, what have you been doing while I've been trying to sleep?" she asked.

"Making a few calls actually. There's a production of _Les Miserables_ at the Palace Theatre tonight, and I can get tickets for the eight o'clock show. Are you interested in going?" he asked hopefully, "although considering you haven't managed to sleep, you might be too tired for another late night," he said as an afterthought.

"No. I think a night out at the theatre would be lovely. Thank you for looking it up."

"You're welcome. Do you feel like going out to dinner beforehand?"

"Sure. I wonder what time the kids will be going out? Maybe they'd like to join us?"

"I suspect the girls will still be getting ready to go out by the time we're at the theatre, but we could ask them, I suppose."

"No, you're probably right. Where would you like to eat?"

"There are a couple of places close by and some closer to the theatre. What are you in the mood for?" Edward asked Bella in return. "I know you like Thai."

"I'm not feeling the Thai urge at the moment," Bella answered, pursing her lips. "What about Italian?"

"I can do Italian. There's a restaurant not too far from here that specializes in Italian. I'll give it a call if you like and reserve a table. Say six-ish?"

"What time is it now?" Bella asked.

"Half past four," Edward answered, looking at his watch.

"Six should give us enough time, don't you think?"

"I'll mention that we have a theatre date and see what they say when I make the booking."

"Good idea."

"Do you mind if I call them now? I need to call the theatre back and confirm the tickets, too."

"Be my guest. I need to use the bathroom anyway."

With that, Bella left Edward standing in her room while she excused herself and entered the bathroom. She quietly closed the door behind her and turned to look at her reflection in the mirror.

_Oh my god, bed hair_, she groaned inwardly as she looked at the messy disarray that was her usually sleek bob. _Good one, Bella_.

She reached for her brush and smoothed the wayward strands back into place.

Bella really wanted to use the bathroom for another purpose too, but she was a little embarrassed at needing to do so with Edward in her room. Hotel bathrooms were notoriously echo-y. She'd be mortified if the sounds of nature's call were to reverberate throughout her room while Edward was there. Deciding she couldn't wait any longer (_why the hell have I just ordered my fourth coffee of the day?_) she relieved herself as quietly as possible and then scrunched up her face when the sound of the toilet flushing did in fact echo nosily around the bathroom.

_Get a grip, girl, it happens_, she reminded herself as she tried to steady her beating heart before re-entering the room.

Edward looked up as he heard Bella approach.

"All done," he said, smiling warmly.

Bella smiled nervously, misunderstanding his comment and feeling thoroughly embarrassed.

Edward continued on unabated, oblivious to Bella's embarrassment. "The tickets are booked and the restaurant said they could have us out by 7:30 in time to get to the theatre. It's only a few minutes from there to the Palace, apparently," Edward continued, oblivious to Bella's embarrassment.

"Oh good," Bella replied, still feeling incredibly awkward and self-conscious.

Another knock sounded on her door and Bella moved to answer it.

"That must be our coffee," she said to Edward.

Without bothering to look, she opened the door fully expecting to see a server there with their order. But it wasn't. It was Cassie, Dan and Sammy.

"Mom. Hi. We're back. Oh, hi, Edward," Dan said, spying his father standing inside the room.

"Hello, yourself," Edward responded, an amused expression on his face.

"I hope we haven't interrupted anything," Cassie asked delicately.

"Oh, no, Cass," Bella responded, waving them all into the room and closing the door. She smiled at each of them before addressing Sammy. "Did you go back and buy those boots, Sam?" Bella asked as she came to stand near the group, effectively changing the direction of the conversation.

"Yes, I did. They're just divine. I can't wait to wear them tonight."

Sammy made a scene of opening the box containing her new boots and showing them off for everyone to see.

"My feet would die if I tried to squeeze them into something like that," Bella commented.

"My feet couldn't even squeeze into anything even remotely like that," Edward agreed.

"You'd look funny in a pair of boots like these, Uncle Edward. Not your usual style, are they?" Sammy said teasing her uncle.

"I don't think my legs would look quite as good as yours in them, Sam. That's for sure."

"Oh I don't know, your legs are rather long and lean," Cassie said.

"Cass?" Dan said, his voice registering his shock.

"What? I'm just saying his legs aren't all that bad."

"And when have you seen my legs?" Edward asked incredulously, laughing at Cassie's now growing embarrassment.

"Well you don't exactly swim in long pants, Uncle Edward," Cassie said, blushing.

"Next thing you'll be telling him is that his bum really doesn't look all that big in his pants!" Dan exclaimed, but then realizing what he'd just said, rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Laughter echoed around the room.

_Why couldn't I have waited until now to pee?_ Bella thought to herself.

When the laughter died down somewhat, Bella enquired about the groups plans for the evening.

"What time are you –," Bella started only to be interrupted by yet another knock on the door. "Hold that thought," she continued trying to secure herself some airtime.

"Who could that be? Everyone we know is here," Dan quipped as Bella once again made to open the door. She rolled her eyes at him, mirroring the action she had picked up from the kids during the day.

This time, on the other side, stood a beaming Chris.

"Bella! Hi!"

"Chris! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for the right door, actually. Merry Christmas, Bella," he said, bending to give her a quick peck on the cheek. "I tried Dan's room a couple of minutes ago but there was no answer, and he told me yours was nearby, so I knocked on a couple of doors hoping I'd get the right one," Chris answered by way of explanation. "Oh, good. Everyone's here!" he said, striding into the room.

Bella, with a smile on her face, silently closed the door behind him as he swept past. Chris had become like a second son to her, and she loved him and his enthusiastic approach to life.

"Well, look what the cat's dragged in," Cassie said.

"You're not looking too bad yourself, Sweet Cheeks," Chris said, scooping Cassie into a bear hug.

Putting Cassie down, Chris turned his attentions to Sammy.

"Oh, you are so not doing that to me!" she warned while backing away from him and waggling one finger in the air.

"Oh, come on, Sammy. For ol' time's sake?" Chris teased.

"For nobody's sake you hairy-armed baboon," Sammy said as she stopped moving backwards and held her two arms out straight in what proved to be a feeble attempt to keep him at a distance.

"You don't mean that, Babycakes," he crooned as he easily brushed aside her arms and repeated his embrace. "Got ya."

"Put me down, you oaf!" Sammy chastised, hitting him on the back. "Urgh! You are such a Neanderthal!"

"But I'm a cute one, don't you think?" he asked, placing her feet back on the floor and pulling away from her with a wink.

"Edward," Chris said, turning his attention to Dan's father. "Good to see you again," he continued, extending his hand in his most civilized action to date.

"You too, Chris," Edward said, laughing at the antics of the younger crowd.

"You're here earlier than I thought you'd be," Dan said.

"You know what it's like at my place, man. Great Auntie so-and-so had one too many sherries and decided now was the perfect time to tell Uncle-what's-his-face that the woman he married thirty freakin' years ago was nothing more than a two-bit tramp and that he should've known that some day she was bound to run off with some semi-wealthy banker she met and blah, blah, blah...so, at that point, I decided my extended-family-Christmas-penance was officially over. I kissed my Mom goodbye, and I bolted here faster than a rat up a drainpipe."

Dan stood there in the middle of his family and just shook his head at his friend's colorful explanation of his family's Christmas celebrations. Words couldn't really do Chris, justice. Chris was just Chris – there was no plausible explanation for him.

Another ten minutes of social chit chat and catch up ensued before the group was once again interrupted by a loud knock on Bella's bedroom door.

"Really, this is beyond crazy!" Dan exclaimed, looking around the already crowded room.

"Do you think that's the coffee?" Edward asked hopefully.

"I'm counting on it," Bella replied as she crossed yet again to her door.

"You two ordered room service?" Cassie enquired of her uncle.

"Just coffee. We were trying to make plans for this evening before you lot invaded the room," Edward replied.

"Are you going out?" Sammy asked.

"Well, since you kids are going out on the town, we thought we might, too. There's a live theatre show we'd like to catch and we thought we would do dinner beforehand."

"Oh," Sammy replied, exchanging looks with Dan and Cassie. "We were interrupting something."

"No. Not at all," Bella replied, leading the busboy into the room. "Edward had just finalized the arrangements before you arrived, hadn't you, Edward?"

"Yes. All's done. We were just going to enjoy a quiet coffee."

Bella tipped the busboy, who quickly but quietly exited the crowded room while the conversation continued.

"Well, don't let us stop you," Chris said, looking at Edward with interest. "We can get out of your hair. We've got plans of our own to make," he continued, swinging his arm around Sammy's shoulders.

"I'm not a lamp post. Don't lean on me," she chastised him, swatting his arm away. "What time's the show you're seeing?" Sammy asked, turning toward Edward.

"Eight o'clock at the theatre. We've booked dinner for six," Edward said, looking at his watch. "It's five now. Will that give you enough time, Bella?" he asked looking at her.

"I'll be fine."

"Well, if that's the case, we'd better get a move on out of here. We wouldn't want to make you late," Cassie urged, tugging gently on Dan's arm. "How about we head downstairs for a drink?"

"Sounds like a plan," Chris said happily.

"Yeah. Well. Have a nice night out," Dan said, feeling awkward. His parents were going out together without him to run interference. That was weird.

"Move it, boofhead," Sammy said, hitting Chris on the shoulder to get him to shift from his spot. "And make yourself useful, will ya? Carry these for me."

"Some things never change. I haven't seen you for six months, and already, I'm carrying your shopping bags," Chris retorted.

"Be grateful Uncle Edward brought round one back to the hotel earlier," Sammy fired back. "I doubt you'd be strong enough to lift all the parcels at once."

"Still got your acid tongue I see, Sam," Chris said while being plied with shopping bags.

"I've been working on my skills especially for you, cave man."

"Great! Thanks! Looking forward to it," Chris mumbled as he began to make his way to the door.

"I'll get that," Sammy offered.

"Well that would be generous of you," Chris said sarcastically. "I wouldn't want you to break a nail or hurt your pinky finger or anything."

Bella and Edward watched in amusement as Sammy and Chris continued to bicker their way out the door of Bella's room.

"Have a great time tonight," Cassie said to both of them as she made to pass by.

"We will, love, thanks," Bella replied warmly.

"Yeah. Well. Enjoy the show," Dan said.

"What time are you all going out?" Edward asked, following them to the door.

"I've got no idea. We'll see how it plays out," Dan answered.

"Right. Well. Have a good one. Look after the girls."

"Will do."

"Oh!" Cassie said, turning back to face them both. "What time will we do breakfast in the morning? Same time as today?" she suggested.

"You don't want it any earlier?" Edward questioned.

"Not if we're having a late night," Cassie said, looking to Dan who nodded his agreement.

"Fair enough. See you around nine-ish then."

"OK. Have fun. Enjoy your night," Cassie said, taking Dan's hand and moving to their room.

Dan smiled briefly at his father and mother before adding a, "See you later," to the end of the conversation and walking down the hall toward his and Cassie's room.

Edward stood just outside Bella's door watching them go.

"Bella?" Edward said, turning to face her and preparing to take his leave. "I'll see you at about quarter 'til? Would that be alright?"

"Sure, fine, but what about your coffee?" she asked, looking back toward their untouched coffees.

"Oh. Well, I'll pass. Let you get ready."

"Take it with you," Bella said, returning to the tray that the busboy had left in her room.

She took one of the coffees and handed it to Edward who had followed her back into her room and over to the small table inside.

"I was really kind of looking forward to a nice hot coffee," Edward admitted sheepishly.

"Me, too. Enjoy," Bella said, handing it to him.

"Thanks," he responded, smiling warmly at her. "Are you sure you have enough time to get ready?"

"Plenty. I'm no twenty-year-old. Half hour tops. I'll be ready."

"I'm impressed."

"Really? Why?"

"Cullen women take forever to get ready."

"Well, it's lucky for you that I'm not a Cullen then," Bella smiled at him. "I'll see you at quarter 'til."

"Quarter 'til," Edward repeated. "Thanks for the coffee," he said, lifting the mug to her.

"You're welcome. Now go, or you might cause me to run late," she said, shooing him to the door.

"Can't have that, can we?"

"No, we can't."

Once Edward had left, Bella closed the door behind him and walked back into her room.

_Never a dull moment,_ she thought to herself, smiling. Bella thought back over the chaos of the last half an hour or so. She was glad for Dan that he had his best friend and his girl with him, and she was also happy to see that the four travelers hadn't seemed to let time or distance ruin their camaraderie. It seemed like the friendship they had struck up in Australia had carried over into their day-to-day lives, and it made Bella feel content knowing that her son had developed such close and honest relationships.

_Now, what am I going to wear to dinner and the theatre?_ she mused as her attention finally focused on the evening that lay ahead of her.

Forty-three minutes later Bella was putting the finishing touches to her make-up when there was a polite knock on her door.

"Coming," she called as she hurriedly replaced her make-up back into her toiletry bag.

She crossed to the door, opened it and stepped back, smiling widely.

"You're right on time."

"I didn't have far to travel," Edward replied, returning her smile.

"Good point. I'm ready. Just let me get my bag and my coat."

Edward watched from the doorway as Bella turned and walked toward her bed to collect her belongings. She looked classy and feminine in tailored black pants and a lovely soft green sweater with an unusually cut neckline that buttoned on one shoulder and showed just the slightest hint of bare skin. He was roused out of his musings as Bella turned to face him catching his eye.

"You seem far away there," she said as she walked toward him with her coat and scarf draped over her forearm.

"I was just musing how much my life had changed in the last month or so," he said, covering his wayward observations.

"Hmm," Bella replied. "All of our lives have changed markedly in such a short period of time."

Edward didn't move from his position at the door but rather smiled down at her.

"A change for the better?" Edward asked hopefully, his simple question bringing a level of intensity to the moment that neither had anticipated.

Bella looked him in the eye and gave him a genuine yet soft smile.

"Yes, Edward. Definitely a change for the better. It's all been a bit overwhelming at times but definitely a good thing." She reached for his arm just above his elbow and squeezed it. She felt self-conscious making such an overt action but it also felt right and a natural thing to do. "Thank you," she said simply.

"For what?" he said, a little taken aback while reaching to place his hand on top of hers.

"For being...I don't know how to say this..." she started as she fumbled for the right words, "so understanding...welcoming...willing to...oh I just don't know what it is exactly I'm trying to say," she confessed, feeling exasperated at her own level of ineptitude to accurately express what she felt. She tried again, blushing as she saw the intensity of Edward's gaze willing her to continue. "I appreciate it. I really do. Accepting Dan and all of this," she said, accompanied by the slightest self-conscious shrug of her shoulders. "You could have made it so much more difficult for him and for me, but you haven't. You've been very gracious under the circumstances, and I just want you to know that it's been important to me that you haven't taken any of this out on Dan."

"Why would I have taken things out on Dan, Bella?" Edward asked, regarding her closely, so much so that Bella began to feel uncomfortable and broke her eyes away from his and looked instead toward the collar of his open-necked shirt.

"Oh, I don't know. Shooting the messenger, I suppose."

"Hmm," Edward said, his eyes never leaving her face. "Dan never did anything wrong here, Bella. Dan's the innocent party in all of this," he said, not for the first time. He encased her hand with his own and rubbed as it rested on his arm. He was using his actions to try and prompt her to look back into his eyes. He meant for his words and his actions to be reassuring, but they weren't, or at least, Bella didn't understand them that way.

She had stiffened, infinitesimally. A casual observer may not have noticed, but Edward did. He heard how her breath caught in her throat and saw how her shoulders rose slightly. He felt how her hand on his arm tensed marginally.

"_Nobody_ is to blame here, Bella," he whispered to her, trying not to make her feel any more uncomfortable. "We've been dealt a set of cards and we've each played our hand as best we can. What comes next is up to us and not some set of random circumstances. There are no victims here; we're all winners. At least, that's how I see it," he finished, not removing his eyes from the top of her head and wishing with all his might that she would look at him and see his sincerity.

Bella blinked rapidly but kept her eyes lowered. She nodded her head quickly, not trusting herself to speak.

Edward sensed her discomfort. He frowned but let it pass without further comment.

"Come on," he said, patting her hand before stepping back into the corridor and pulling Bella out of the room with him. "Let's go to dinner and the theatre."

"Yes, let's," Bella replied, regrouping and finally looking at him shyly. Bella reached for the door awkwardly. Edward still had hold of her hand in place on his arm. She fumbled trying to close the door while juggling her coat and scarf as well as her purse in her one free arm.

"Here. Let me," Edward said, reaching across the front of her to close the door successfully.

Bella caught her breath. He was in such close proximity and the reaction it caused took her by surprise. She stepped back slightly trying to rationalize what she'd just experienced. The whole thing took less than five seconds, but Bella was caught completely off guard.

"Oh! I've left my key inside," she said suddenly.

"Really?" Edward questioned. "Well, don't worry about it now. The reception desk always has spares. You're not the first person to leave their key in their room."

"I suppose not," Bella said, silently berating herself for being so careless.

"We can stop by the reception desk on our way back later and pick up the spare then."

"Alright," she said, somewhat appeased.

"After you, madam," Edward said, waving her toward the elevator.

Bella and Edward stood side by side in the elevator somewhat awkwardly. Neither really knew where to look. Edward was still trying to process what had just happened in their brief exchange at her door. He looked down at her and smiled when she gazed up briefly at him. Their discomfort disappeared as the doors opened onto the lobby.

"I called down for a cab before I left my room. Hopefully, they should have one waiting for us," he explained as they made their way toward the front doors.

"That's good, 'cause I actually have absolutely no idea where we're going."

"Trust me."

"I do," she said, glancing shyly up at him.

"Good." Edward smiled, noting that he was already smiling a lot this evening. "Here, let me help you with your coat."

Bella paused and turned slightly to give Edward her coat. Putting her back toward him , she placed her arms behind her so that he could slide her coat onto her shoulders.

_What's going on with me? _Bella questioned herself as she once again became deeply aware of Edward's physical closeness brought about by that simple yet gallant action.

"That's a lovely sweater, Bella," Edward said as he stepped back from her. "The color really suits you."

"Thank you. It was my Christmas gift from Dan."

"He has good taste."

Bella laughed. "I was impressed, too. He must have had help from the sales assistant, I think."

"It means he put effort into it," Edward noted as he ushered Bella through the hotel doors and out toward the waiting taxi cab, the cold New England winter air blasting them as they walked into the night.

"Mr Cullen?" the concierge asked as he crossed to open the car's rear door.

"Yes. This is our cab?" Edward asked, seeking confirmation.

"Yes, Sir."

"Fine, thank you."

"Enjoy your evening, Sir, Mrs Cullen," the young concierge added as they stooped to enter the vehicle, Bella going first.

She hesitated briefly at the concierge's mistaken use of the name but continued on, conscious of Edward following directly behind her. _Why is there no elegant way to get in and out of a cab?_ Bella mused as she shuffled across the seat feeling like all legs and arms in her big heavy coat.

"We will," Edward replied cordially to the concierge, ignoring the slip up and easily sliding into position next to Bella.

_Smooth, but then he didn't have to clamber over to the other side,_ Bella thought to herself as she watched Edward settle next to her.

"Piccola Italia, Elm Street," Edward said in answer to the driver's silent query.

Within ten minutes, Edward and Bella were seated inside the warm and comfortable restaurant, the ride having only taken a few minutes. Still it was better than walking. The night had turned quite cold and those storm clouds Bella had seen forming earlier looked like they would drop a bucket load of snow before the morning.

After perusing the menu and ordering their meal, Bella and Edward sipped leisurely on their wine while waiting for their food to arrive.

"Want to play a game?" Edward asked.

Bella smiled but narrowed her eyes in question. "A game?" she repeated, seeking clarification.

"Yes."

"What kind of game?"

"A getting to know you kind of game."

"A what?"

"A question-and-answer game. We each ask questions of the other, and we have to answer honestly."

"Can't we just do that anyway?"

"Yes, but it could be fun if we didn't know what questions we are going to get."

"Now I'm really not following you."

"Good. I hate being predictable."

"No worries there," Bella replied, sipping on her wine.

"Right," Edward said, waving over the server. "Could we trouble you for a couple of pieces of paper and two pens, please?" he asked. "Oh, and maybe a small bowl or empty ice bucket?"

The server nodded his ascent before leaving to retrieve what Edward had asked for, a puzzled expression on his face.

"What do we need the paper and pens for?" Bella asked, still not having the faintest idea what Edward was planning.

"Well, let's say we each write down, say, ten questions."

"Right," Bella said slowly.

"Then we cut them up and put them in to the bowl, and we each alternate withdrawing a question and asking it of the other."

"Couldn't we just ask each other questions straight out?"

"We could, but just play along with me, ok? It might be fun this way and a little bit more random."

The server returned with the items he had requested and Edward wasted no time in giving Bella a pen and piece of paper.

She looked at him with an amused expression on her face. "So, how do you intend to cut these up?" she asked him, "assuming, of course, that is what you were planning to do?"

"Yes, well, we could... um..."

"How about we just fold the paper like a fan and then tear along the creases?" Bella suggested.

"Creative idea."

"I'm a teacher. I have those from time to time."

"I bet you do."

"So," Bella started. "We each write ten questions..."

"Making sure that they are questions you would be prepared to answer yourself if asked," Edward clarified.

"And then we're going to put them in here and draw out one at a time."

"Yes."

"Any other rules I need to be aware of?"

"I don't know. I'm making this up as we go along," Edward answered.

Bella laughed aloud at this.

"You're having fun, aren't you?" she asked him.

"Yes."

"I never picked you for a games person."

"My family has always played games of one sort or another. We had a _Monopoly_ game that lasted two days once."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. Emmett's good humor didn't last quite as long," Edward said, shrugging and smiling at a private memory. "So, you ready to start writing?"

"What kind of questions do we write?"

"Anything...everything...whatever you want to know and are prepared to answer yourself if need be."

Bella took a deep breath. "Can we keep it light? Nothing too heavy?"

"Of course. This is meant to be fun, Bella," Edward replied, looking across at her.

Bella nodded her head slowly.

"Ok, then," she said as she began folding her paper like a fan.

"Let me know when you're finished."

"I'll race ya," Bella challenged, smiling conspiratorially.

"You're on!"

Five minutes or so later, much to the amusement of the m'aitre de who was watching the middle aged couple at the table with interest, Bella and Edward finished ceremoniously tearing the last of their questions into little strips of paper and putting them into the empty ice bucket that had been set up beside their table.

Bella sat back and looked across at Edward as she sipped her wine.

"What now?" she asked.

"Ladies first?"

"How chivalrous," Bella teased, rolling her eyes.

"I mean," Edward clarified, "you ask the first question. I'll be the guinea pig."

"O-oh," Bella stuttered. She reached forward to retrieve a question from the bucket but then pulled back.

"Question," she said.

"Yes. That is the general idea."

"No. I have a question. What if we don't wish to answer one? Can we choose to veto?"

"Veto? Why would you want to veto?"

"Maybe there's something I don't want to answer..."

"I didn't ask anything that I thought would make you feel uncomfortable," Edward said.

"Can we still veto if we feel the need?"

Edward frowned in frustration. "I thought you said earlier tonight that you trusted me?"

"I do," Bella said quietly.

"So, I don't get the issue," Edward pressed, sitting back and shrugging his shoulders.

Bella looked somewhat torn. She didn't put her thoughts into words.

"Oh, alright. Veto if you must," Edward said while reaching to refill both their wine glasses.

Bella simply nodded her head before leaning forward to retrieve the first slip of paper.

"But, if you get to add the Veto rule, I get to add a rule of my own."

"What's that?"

"We each answer each question."

"Fair enough."

"Good. So, let's go."

Bella opened the first slip of paper.

"Are you reading a book at the moment, and if so, what is it?"

Edward rolled his eyes.

"What?" Bella asked in self-defense. "It's an appropriate question." It was one of hers.

Edward smiled at her lamely.

"The Hobbit," he said simply.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I found it on my bookshelf before I left and I hadn't looked at it in years and years, so I brought it along."

"Hmm," Bella said. She looked at Edward, and he was staring at her curiously. "Oh! Me?"

Edward nodded.

"The Time Traveler's Wife. It's really good."

"Is that the one you were reading today when you couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah. It takes a bit of concentration. A lot of time traveling," Bella paused here and rolled eyes at herself. "Duh...well, obviously," she continued, the wine relaxing her and making her fell less self-conscious than she usually was around Edward. "But seriously...it jumps around a lot...you really have to concentrate to pull all the clues together."

"They turned it into a movie, didn't they?"

"Yes, but I haven't seen it yet. It's on DVD now. I usually prefer to read the book before I see the movie."

"Me, too."

"They're usually better, I find."

"The books?"

"Yeah."

Edward reached forward to retrieve a question. His eyes opened wide and a small laugh escaped.

"What? Is it another one of mine?"

Edward nodded his head and continued smiling. He didn't comment. Instead, he asked the question that was written on the paper.

"How old were you when you realized that the tooth fairy wasn't real?"

Bella laughed, enjoying Edward's reaction to the question and accidently coughed on a bit of wine that went down the wrong way.

"Eleven. The tooth fairy forgot to come and left me a note explaining why...too bad it was in my mother's handwriting."

This time it was Edward's turn to laugh out loud.

The serving staff looked over at the two of them and wondered what was so funny.

"Your mother didn't even attempt to alter her handwriting?"

"Nope."

Edward continued to laugh.

"So, how old were you?" Bella asked, joining in the laughter. It was contagious.

"Nine, I think."

"Nine?"

"I had two older sisters," Edward said, shrugging like it was no big deal. "Besides, it worked out to my benefit in the long run."

"How?"

"Mom was really upset that they told me, so she made them each pay double what the tooth fairy would have left until I finished losing all my baby teeth."

"Smart mother," Bella conceded.

"How old was Dan?" Edward asked.

"Oh, geez. Let me think. Maybe ten...or eleven?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How did he find out?"

"One of the kids at school told him. He was embarrassed as all hell, actually. He was really rather mad that I had let him carry on believing for so long. Apparently, it's not too cool to be the last kid to find out these things."

"That's cruel."

"I didn't mean it!" Bella protested.

"No, not you! The kid at school."

Bella shrugged. "That's just kids. It was a triple blow, too."

Edward looked at Bella, his eyes creasing together, not understanding.

"Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny at the same time," she explained.

"Oh, no!"

"Yeah. It wasn't pretty at our house that night. He was eleven, now that I come to think of it. Jimmy Delaqua. That was the boy who blabbed. Never liked that kid."

"Sounds like a real charmer."

Bella laughed and reached for the next question. "You ready for another one?"

"Sure. Hit me," Edward said, smiling broadly.

The conversation continued this way for the next fifteen minutes – favorite movie, worst childhood holiday, first pet. It was all good fun, and both Bella and Edward found themselves not only laughing regularly but deeply enjoying the experience.

The servers arrived with their meals, both Edward and Bella choosing not to have entreés due to the time constraints in order to make the theatre on time. They paused while the server placed their meals in front of them.

"Are we having a nice evening then?" the server enquired.

"Yes."

"Fantastic."

"You seem like you are having a lot of fun. Lots of laughter here," he continued in broken English, his Italian accent permeating each word.

"Yes."

"You seem like you are enjoying yourselves. Are you from around here or are you visiting from somewhere else?"

"We're on holiday with our son," Edward explained.

"He is with a sitter tonight then? How old is he?"

"No. No sitter. He's twenty-one and out with friends."

"Oh?" the waiter replied, not able to hide his confusion. _Why are they asking question about each other? _he pondered silently_. They should know all these things, shouldn't they? _"Enjoy your meals," he said politely as he excused himself and left the table, feeling thoroughly confused.

"Dinner looks good," Edward said as he collected his cutlery, preparing to eat.

"Smells divine. Lots of garlic in this," Bella commented, the smell wafting from her dinner.

"It will ward off evil spirits," Edward said. "You should be safe from vampires tonight at least."

"Thank heavens. Wouldn't want to run into one of those."

"Don't worry. I'd protect you."

"Really?" Bella said, playing along. "How would you do that exactly?"

"Stake to the heart," Edward said confidently.

"Are you a Buffy fan?"

"Show me any full-blooded male who isn't a fan of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Most men wouldn't mind a bit of one-on-one time with Buffy," Edward answered, sipping his wine while looking over the rim of his glass at her.

"Angel was more my type, although Spike did bring a little...something...to the show."

"Of course he did."

"How did we get onto this topic?" Bella asked confused.

"Garlic," Edward said before helping himself to more of his dinner.

"Right. Well, another question then?"

Edward nodded his assent.

Bella reached for the ice bucket.

"Who was your first kiss? How old? And Where?" Bella looked up from the piece of paper incredulously. "You broke the rules. That's three questions in one."

"We never said anything specific about limiting the number of questions at one time," Edward reminded her. "And I don't know what you're complaining about. I'm the one who has to answer first."

"Well, then, Mr. Smarty Pants. Go on!"

"Sandy Carmichael. I was ten. She was twelve. Behind my parent's house during a family barbeque."

"Oohh. Older woman."

"What can I say? I held a certain appeal to older women."

Bella actually snorted her drink. She was stricken that she would do such a thing, and she was momentarily embarrassed.

Edward laughed. "Go on then, your turn," he said, trying to alleviate her embarrassment but finding it amusing at the same time.

Bella paused and blushed slightly, remembering the moment.

"Tyler Crowley. We were both sixteen. After a school dance."

"How romantic," teased Edward.

"Oh, God. Hardly," Bella cringed at the memory. "We were both dateless. Tyler was a friend. Everyone else had paired up, and we were kind of...well...there...and available. Everyone else was off doing...you know...and well, we just kind of went for it." She visibly shuddered.

"Not that memorable, huh?" Edward asked sympathetically.

"Well, yes and no, but for all the wrong reasons. It was just...ugh...just...definitely not a bells-and-whistles moment."

"So, it wasn't toe curling?" Edward pressed.

"Heavens, no. I'd give him a two...one for availability, and the other for...geographical accurateness...but that's it."

Edward couldn't help laughing loudly at Bella's rating system, and after finally getting his laughter under control, he spoke. "That's dreadful."

"Yep, that about sums it up," Bella said, her head bouncing in agreement and smiling to herself.

"At least you can smile about it now," Edward commiserated.

"I was just glad to get it over with," Bella said. "If you know how many times I was teased for being sweet sixteen and never been kissed," she said, shaking her head. "Of course, I had to pretend for both our sakes that it was just wonderful," she joked, waving her hand around and rolling her eyes. "High school girls can be bitches if they smell blood in the water."

"High school wasn't your favorite time, huh?" Edward asked.

"It wasn't too bad on the whole, but I was glad when it was over...for a while at least," Bella said, the tone of her response changing completely within just a few words.

Edward watched as Bella's face clouded over with some emotion he couldn't place. He'd seen it happen several times now and he believed he'd heard it reflected in her voice over the phone, too. He decided this time that rather than let it slip by, he would tackle it head on.

"Bella?" he asked gently, reaching for her hand across the table. "Where does your mind go when you think about the past?"

Bella looked at Edward, taken aback.

"I'm sorry?" she uttered, pulling her hand back from his and placing it in her lap.

Edward took a deep breath, determined to push on now that he'd opened the door to this conversation.

"There are times when you...when it appears that some memories just seem to overtake you. Sometimes, it can be just the slightest thing, or so it seems, and your whole demeanour changes. One minute you're relaxed and carefree, and the next, a cloud seems to settle on you and your expression changes. You become very introspective and quiet. What happens inside," he said, pointing to his heart, "that can make you feel so...uncomfortable...so quickly?"

Bella looked carefully at Edward, her emotions barely contained. She blinked rapidly, willing her disloyal tears be kept at bay. She was tired of them and their betrayal of late. Usually she was much more guarded with her emotions and better able to keep her feelings about situations and events to herself. As a rule, she was quite adept at dealing with the simple facts pertaining to any given situation. She wasn't a dispassionate person, quite the contrary, but she was often much better at keeping her emotions in check until she was alone and in private.

Bella replaced her hands on the table and fidgeted absentmindedly with the stem of her wine glass.

"It's been a rough month, Edward," Bella replied honestly. She closed her lips tightly together to stop her bottom lip from trembling. It was a battle, it appeared, she was going to lose.

"I understand that," Edward said, trying to be supportive.

"Do you?" Bella challenged, not unkindly.

"I think so. From a different perspective of course, but still, this last month has provided quite a few challenges for me as well," he reminded her.

"Why do I feel like crying all the time?" Bella asked him very quietly, so quietly that Edward wondered if he'd heard her correctly.

Wisely, he didn't try to answer but reached forward once more and just rubbed the tips her fingers with his own.

Bella looked up and into Edward's eyes. What she saw there was genuine warmth and sympathy.

_Maybe he does understand,_ she thought to herself.

"Bella? I know you don't really know me that well, yet, and I suspect that the memories you have of me are less than complimentary, but I am a better person now than I was twenty years ago. I want to let you know that you don't have to do this on your own any more, unless you choose to. If you don't want to confide in me, that's okay. But if you want someone to talk to, I can be that person...if you need me to be."

Bella once again looked at her fingers, but this time she focused on the way Edward's gentle touches seemed to relax the tension she felt in her own hands. Her lips pulled up at the side, slightly. She didn't release her lips from their tight bond; she still didn't trust them to not betray her.

Bella nodded slightly while taking a deep breath in a last ditch attempt to quell her bubbling emotions.

Finally she spoke, looking at Edward as she did.

"Thank you. I..." she said, faltering before regaining her composure. "I find it very hard to talk about some things. I never really have, talked about it, that is...not all of it anyway," she said, trying to explain. "I talked to a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, but even then there were things that I just wouldn't...," Bella's voice trailed off, leaving her sentence unfinished. "It's all been locked away for a very long time, and it's been safe there. But the last month? Everything just keeps overwhelming me at times, often when I least expect it."

"It would help, you know, to talk about it," Edward said, remembering his past experiences when he'd faced his own demons.

"Maybe...I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready."

This time, it was Edward who nodded his head in response.

"I want you to know that if you need to let it all out, you can borrow my ears. They come attached to the rest of me, so it's a package deal I'm afraid," he said, making a sincere offer but trying to lighten the moment just the same. "I won't leave you to deal with it all on your own ever again."

"You didn't leave me last time, Edward. If I remember things correctly, I left you."

"That's true," Edward replied, rubbing her fingers with his a little more firmly and glad to see that Bella was regaining some of her equilibrium. The metaphorical dark cloud that had settled so quickly appeared to be breaking up slightly. "But I suspect you still dealt with a lot of this on your own, and you need to understand that it doesn't have to be that way any more."

Bella sighed and wiped away a single tear that had formed. _Traitorous tears_.

"Being solo is a hard habit to break, I suppose," Bella said, trying to explain.

"It gets comfortable after a while, doesn't it?" he asked her, rhetorically. "You get used to the silence, the being alone in your head, the conversations you have with yourself."

"Honestly, I find it hard being alone," Bella said.

"Then don't be. Pick up the phone. Call me. It wouldn't be quite the same as me being here in person, but at least you'd not be on your own when things get too much."

Again, Bella nodded her head.

"I meant what I said the other night, Edward. You're a good man," Bella said, looking directly at him. "I wish I'd made different decisions all those years ago. Dan could have done with you in his life a lot earlier."

Edward's heart started beating faster at Bella's admission, and not for the first time in recent days, he battled with his own emotions. Bella could do that to him easily, it seemed. It unnerved him.

"What's done is done. There's no changing the past. The future, on the other hand, is up for grabs," Edward said, smiling and winking at her. His tone of voice and its jovial message belied his mixed emotions.

Edward would have preferred nothing more than to continue to sit at this restaurant with Bella. He finally felt that he and Bella were really connecting, and her walls were slowly but surely coming down. He was hoping that maybe she was really beginning to trust him after all.

But time was yet again their enemy. It was with deep regret that he changed the topic of conversation.

"Speaking of time," he said, sighing, "we need to make a move." Edward offered her a weak smile. "We have half an hour before the production starts."

"Really?" Bella said, shocked. She glanced quickly at her watch.

Edward was already trying to catch the eye of the server. He requested the bill and began to scoop up the remaining pieces of paper from the ice bucket.

Bella noticed.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not letting these perfectly good questions go to waste. I've had a great time answering these. We can keep this going some other time, you know."

Bella smiled warmly at Edward.

"I've had a great time, too. I've really enjoyed myself," their intense time just a few minutes before almost forgotten.

"I'm glad," Edward said leaning toward her but then settling back in his seat again almost immediately as the server came with their bill. Edward automatically reached for it, but Bella instantly placed her hand over his to stop him.

"Remember our discussion from a week or so ago? I was to pay for meals as part of the deal," she said, fixing him with one of her classic teacher don't-argue-with-me gazes.

"Bella, I couldn't possibly expect you to pay for...," Edward started but stopped when Bella's gaze turned positively indomitable. Acquiescing, he reluctantly slipped his hand from under hers. He missed its warmth immediately. "It goes against the grain, you know. A lady paying for a man's dinner."

"Get over it," Bella said dismissively. "It's 2010 for goodness' sake. Move with the times. Besides, you already agreed to this."

"I agreed to you paying for the girls, not for me."

"Sit back, smile and look pretty," she told him. "This," she said, pointing to the bill, "is mine."

"You think I look pretty?" Edward teased.

"You're not too shabby," Bella replied, squinting her eyes and pursing her lips while pretending to give him the once over. "You'll do."

"And here I was thinking you looked positively delightful this evening," Edward said, playing along. "I might have to reassess the situation."

"And what would your reassessment be?" Bella said, playing along while retrieving her wallet from her bag.

Edward sat back in his chair and said the first word that came to his mind.

"Enchanting."

Bella smiled at him, blushing slightly.

"That's a nice reassessment."

"You're a nice dinner date."

"Thank you," she said again, feeling hotter by the second.

Edward smiled, secretly pleased by her reaction. She was definitely dropping her guard with him tonight.

"We can pay as we leave," he said, changing the subject and indicating the counter over by the door. "The theatre's not far from here. Would you like to take a cab or do you prefer to walk?"

"It's not snowing out yet, is it?" Bella asked glancing out the window. "In the time we wait for a cab, we would probably be there," she reasoned.

"Let's walk. We've got time if we don't dawdle. It's only a couple of blocks."

Bella paid their bill, and Edward helped her into her coat before they exited the restaurant. Stepping outside, Bella withdrew two black gloves from the pockets of her coat.

"You've come prepared," Edward said as they began to walk in the direction of the theatre.

"Habit. I always keep gloves in my pockets this time of year."

"Smart habit."

Bella smiled.

"I've really had a good time tonight, Edward," Bella said, reinforcing an earlier conversation.

"You sound surprised," Edward commented in return.

Bella proffered a little shrug.

"Did you think you weren't going to? Have a nice night, that is?"

"I guess I was just nervous. We haven't really spent much time alone together," she explained.

"I don't bite, Bella," Edward said, laughing.

"I know," she acknowledged, joining in his laughter.

"And I am really enjoying myself, too," he said, reaching for her hand and grasping it in his own without thinking.

Bella curled her gloved covered fingers around his and smiled.

"I'm glad." She smirked quietly.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked as they continued to stroll hand in hand along the sidewalk.

"Nice move there mister," she said, lifting their conjoined hands. "Is your hand warmer now?" Edward, she'd noted, didn't have gloves.

"Yes, this one's doing just fine, thank you," Edward said, returning her smile. "And its partner is in my coat pocket feeling quite warm but left out."

Bella laughed out loud at the image. Edward was glad to hear it; he liked the sound of her laugh - a lot.

Half a block from the theatre as they walked hand-in-hand, a light snow started falling. Edward stopped and looked skyward, mesmerized by the snowflakes as they wafted down upon them. Bella stood next to him watching his reaction rather than the snow itself.

"It's been a long time since I've stood among falling snowflakes," Edward said quietly, holding out a hand to catch one.

"Not much snow where you come from, huh?" Bella asked. She, too, spoke quietly. There was no need, but it seemed to befit the moment.

"No, not really."

"We call these flurries around here," Bella said, extending her own hand and watching one fall into it.

"You live in a beautiful part of the world, Bella," Edward said, looking at her as flakes settled on her shoulders.

"Yeah, I do, but I suspect that to some of us New Englanders would think that the warm sunshine in California is pretty magnificent, too, especially when we are bunkered down for the winter and have days where we are snowed in and can't see the sun for the clouds."

"You should come for a visit and see California first hand."

Bella smiled at Edward. "I will. For Cassie's twenty-first."

"So, you're going to come?" Edward asked, excitement dancing around the edge of his voice.

Bella nodded slowly, dropping her eyes from Edward's momentarily. "Yes, I think I will. The family's gift this morning was very well–intentioned, and you were right to notice that I felt a bit uncomfortable about it all. I think that this will be important to both Dan and Cassie, and I wouldn't want to spoil it for either of them."

"My family don't mean any harm, Bella," Edward said, catching her eye. "They can be a little overly enthusiastic at times and a bit overzealous, but they mean well."

"I know. That's why I don't want to make a big deal out of it. It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm..." Bella left her sentence unfinished and looked away toward the ground.

"You're what?" Edward questioned, reaching for her free hand with his.

Bella kept her eyes focused on the ground. This was one of those moments when she wished she had thought before she'd started the conversation. She shrugged silently, not answering.

"Bella?" Edward tried again.

Bella looked up, but then closed her eyes. "Sometimes, I feel like we're the poor relations that the family feels they have to look after. You know...the look-what-the-cat-dragged-in people." Bella sneaked a look at Edward's face to gauge his reaction.

"Bella! No!" he started, but she cut him off.

"I know, I know that it's not meant like that, but it's just..." she started before she shrugged again, not finding the words to express what she wanted to say without feeling like she would alienate Edward or his family in the process.

Edward let go of Bella's hands and moved his own to rub her upper arms, and by doing so, indirectly forcing her to look at him.

"Bella. No one in the family thinks of you and Dan like that. No one, least of all, me."

Bella remained stoically silent but pursed her lips together and nodded her head quickly, giving Edward some sign that she'd heard him.

"To tell you the truth, it was my mother's idea. She's rather put out that she's the only one who hasn't met you, yet. She's really cranky that she missed the trip to New York."

Bella smiled, despite still feeling ill at ease.

"I reminded her that none of the boys have met you, but she doesn't count that. The fact that all the girls have, except for her, is enough to make her jealous."

Bella's lips broke into a tentative smile.

"Have you told her that I'm really not that interesting?" she asked.

"Oh, you're plenty interesting. The family hasn't had anything this exciting happen since my divorce."

Bella looked up at Edward quickly. "They considered your divorce exciting?"

"My sister's did. They never really took to Tanya."

"Oh."

This time, Edward shrugged wordlessly.

"We'd better make a move before you start to look like a snowman," he said, dusting snowflakes from her shoulders and the top of her head. "I don't have a carrot on me and that would be a waste."

"Excuse me?" Bella asked, not following his train of thought.

"A carrot. Don't you use carrots for snowmen's noses?"

"Oh, very funny!"

"I thought so."

Edward reached for Bella's hand again and they walked the last few hundred yards to the theatre in silence, each enjoying the night out and almost forgetting about their awkward exchange from a few moments before.

Once they arrived at the theatre, Edward went to collect their tickets while Bella took their coats to the cloak room. They were ushered to their seats along with the two hundred or so other people who braved the winter chill for a night at the theatre. As the audience lights went down and the music came to life, Edward reached for Bella's hand and held it securely within his own.

"Enjoy your musical, Bella," he whispered in her ear.

"Thank you."

"Merry Christmas," he whispered back.

Bella looked at him in the darkened theatre and their eyes met. They regarded each other closely, each offering the other a gentle smile.

Bella realized one thing with absolute clarity at that moment. She and Edward had, despite the odds, become friends, and as she settled back in her chair to watch the performance as the curtain went up, she knew that Dan's trip to Australia, had indeed, worked out well for all of them, her included.

* * *

AN: The next chapter isn't sunshine and rainbows. It will be rough, and the content may upset some readers. Please remember that the next chapter re-tells the story of one woman's journey through some personally dark and challenging times from her past. It is not meant to be a social commentary nor should it be seen as such. The feelings and experiences within the next chapter are not a reflection of anyone's personal journey and are not intended to offend or otherwise distress readers. Any similiarities to anyone's personal journey is purely co-incidental. This is a work of fiction. Please remember that.

The chapter will be posted toward the end of next week all going well and to schedule.

It will a turning point in the story.

I have posted this note here because I am aware that many readers skip ANs at the beginning of chapters. I didn't want anyone not to have forewaring of the content to come.

See you next time.

Leisa

PS...care to leave me a review? please?


	34. Chapter 34

Thanks to G & L for holding my hand with this one.

SM owns twilight and her original characters. The OC characters and this plot are my intellectual property.

**WARNING: Readers may find the content in this chapter distressing. Any similarities to person or persons is coincidental and unintentional. The characters and the storyline are a work of fiction. Please remember that. **

**Oh, and this is a long chapter - very long.**

**A strong coffee or maybe a glass of wine may be in order. **

**

* * *

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**Chapter 34 – Breaking Point**

As the final round of applause died down and theatre goers began to move from their seats, Edward looked across to Bella.

"Did you enjoy that?" he asked.

"Yes," Bella said, stretching her arms out in front of her before putting them back in her lap and smiling gently at him. "Very much. It's an intense story though, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's a pretty emotional journey. The music helps to heighten that intensity, too."

"It must be an amazing experience to be able to create original music like that."

"It is," he said, agreeing with her. "Creating something from nothing is one of the most rewarding parts of my job, but seeing it come to life is something else entirely."

"It must be an incredible rush," she said, moving her knees as the people beside her tried to get past. Bella and Edward were doing a theatre faux-pas...they were blocking the row and preventing the smooth flow of people toward the exit. Usually Bella would have been extremely conscious of such a thing, but tonight she didn't care in the slightest.

Edward, too, shuffled in his seat, allowing people to pass before he answered. The action caused their knees to come to rest touching each other's. Neither moved them.

"Most of the time, when you hear it played by a full orchestra for the first time, it is just so nerve-wracking that you are more worried about the technical aspects of it than you are about enjoying the experience."

"Do you work with the orchestras personally when they start playing your music?"

"It's called a manuscript or score in written form," he informed her politely, "and yes, I do work with entire orchestras from time to time. Usually, I work directly with the conductors once they have their musicians sorted out. While most orchestral groups are fairly stable, there is some musician movement depending on the sound required or the complexity of the score."

"Just listening to you...it's a whole new world for me. I've never taken to appreciating all the bits and pieces involved. It's such a large scale thing."

"That's not unlike how I'd feel if you stuck me in a room full of school children. I'd have no idea what to do or where to even start," he said, nudging her gently. "We each have our own talents, Bella. Music just happens to be mine."

"I'm just...bamboozled by it all. Really. I just had no idea," she said, still trying to wrap her head around the performance and all it encompassed.

Edward watched Bella closely. He loved the way her facial expressions displayed just how much wonderment she was feeling.

"Are you feeling tired?" Edward asked, hoping to prolong their evening together. "Would you like to grab a late night coffee somewhere?"

"Sure." Bella started, having been pulled abruptly out of her thoughts by the change of topic. "I'm not really feeling tired at all. I know I should be, but I'm feeling wide awake at the moment. Better make the most of it," she joked, smiling at him widely, "'cause once this wears off, I'm likely to crash at a moment's notice."

"I'll tuck you into bed if worse comes to worst and you fall asleep in your coffee," Edward whispered back to her.

"You'll do no such thing!" Bella said, hitting his shoulder playfully, "but you might have to be prepared to bodily manhandle me up to my room!"

"Deal."

Bella laughed.

"So, do you think we should move now? The rest of the theatre has cleared."

Bella looked around her.

"Oops."

"Don't worry about it. Somebody's got to be last," he said, winking.

"The cleaning staff will be chomping at the bit to get us out of here," Bella said, standing and collecting her bag.

"There are plenty of other places for them to start. They don't have to start with these two little seats out of the hundreds here."

Bella giggled.

"Mr Cullen. You're corrupting me. Usually, I would have moved on out of here with all the other sheep."

"And then stood around in the foyer and lining up yet again to collect your coat. This way, we should be able to get our things pretty quickly. Even the taxi line shouldn't be too bad."

"Speaking of lining up. I need to use the ladies room. The line was too big at intermission."

"That's always a problem at places like this," Edward agreed. "But then again, it does free the men up to order drinks from the bar – just like the old days – the men get the drinks and the women powder their noses or whatever it is that you do in there."

"Oh, trust me. It's never that exciting. You usually line up, holding doors open for people as you all try to squeeze past each other, giving polite hellos and cautious smiles while bemoaning the fact that the men are outside drinking and the women are stuck in the line. It's a serious miscarriage of justice."

"Miscarriage of justice? How do you work that out?" Edward asked as they walked side-by-side up the stairs toward the exit of the theatre.

"Well, the majority of women will have had their ...insides somewhat ...um...challenged by the...um...issues associated with pregnancy and childbirth," Bella said, trying to explain herself without being too explicit, "so standing in a line, waiting to...relieve oneself while listening to the sound of flushing toilets and running water is the ultimate in cruel."

"Bella, that is the most interesting take on the challenges of a woman's restroom I have ever heard. Alice and Rosalie would appreciate that one, that's for sure. I can't wait to tell them."

"What?" Bella said in disbelief, "don't you dare tell them that! I hardly know your sisters. Don't go telling them I said that."

"Why? They would think it's hilarious."

"Edward, please," Bella begged as they turned the corner into the near empty foyer.

"You're serious," Edward said, raising his eyebrows and reading the discomfort in Bella's eyes.

Bella nodded her head while looking at him anxiously.

"You women get hung up on the weirdest things," he said.

"Women don't do toilet humor. Boys do."

"Is that a fact?"

"Internationally researched and supported by millions of mothers all over the planet. It starts when boys are about eight, and unfortunately, they never grow out of it."

Edward reached around her shoulders and rubbed her arm. "Fine, I won't tell. Now, you go to the bathroom before you burst, 'cause while I suspect that would be far from funny in your eyes, I'd probably die laughing," Edward started but was stopped from making further comment by the incredulous look on Bella's face, "and I'll go get our coats. I'll meet you back here," he said quickly before turning her and pushing her toward the Ladies Room.

Bella walked away, shaking her head and smiling to herself despite her disbelief that Edward would actually say something like that. She was still smiling to herself as she finished up in the bathroom and made her way back to the foyer.

Edward, as promised, was waiting and helped her into her coat before they left the building.

"So? Where to for coffee?" he asked.

"Would the hotel still be open for coffee?" Bella asked. It seems pointless to make an extra stop when a nice warm foyer is ready and waiting for us."

"It should be. It's not midnight yet, so we should be right."

The snow had continued to fall while they were safely tucked inside the theatre. Everything was blanketed in a fresh cover of snow, and the whole city took on a clean, soft appearance.

"This place truly is beautiful," Edward said, admiring the view as they waited for a cab outside the theatre.

"I'm smoking!" Bella said, laughing as her own breath fogged in the cold. It was something that had always amused her and she smiled remembering back to the carefree times of her childhood when she and her friends would pretend to smoke cigarettes by blowing their hot breaths out into the cold winter air.

"I am, too," he said, deliberately blowing out puffs of hot air into the night. He turned to Bella, grinning at her, his boyish looks captivating her attention. "I haven't smoked real smokes for a long time," Edward said, looking at her, "but I used to."

"I know."

"How do you...?"

"I remember. It is one of the things I do remember about you."

"Really?"

"Hmm," Bella said.

"What else do you remember?" It was the first time he had ever asked her that question.

"I remember your hairstyle..."

"Aw gawd," Edward moaned, cringing and covering his eyes with one hand showing his embarrassment at that recollection.

"...and I remember that you played keyboards and guitar, and that your name was Eddie," she started slowly.

"What else?" he asked her quietly.

"I remember you..." _tasted like cigarettes, _she thought silently but didn't say aloud. "I remember you drank Coronas and that we sat outside after the gig."

"What else?" Edward asked her, almost inaudibly, watching her closely.

A ghost of a memory flashed across Bella's features and Edward's eyes creased trying to read what he briefly saw.

Bella pulled herself back to reality abruptly, and in doing so, broke their connection to the past. "Not much."

Edward looked disappointed as their cab pulled up. He offered her a weak smile when he held open the cab door for her.

After giving the driver their destination, they both settled back into the cab, each with their own thoughts. They were interrupted by the jovial taxi driver.

"So? You've had a night at the theatre, have you?" he asked them collectively.

Bella didn't answer but looked to Edward, deferring any response to him.

"Yes," he said, not elaborating.

"What's on there at the moment?"

"Les Miserables."

"That's right. The schedule changes at that theatre pretty regularly. Smaller productions usually. Was it any good?"

"Yes. It was very entertaining," Edward said.

"So, if you're staying at the hotel, I take it you're not from around here?"

_What is it about chatty cab drivers that drives me nuts?_ Bella thought.

"No, we're here on holiday with our son," Edward said for the second time that evening, liking the way it sounded.

"Ah. A night out for mom and dad, huh? I remember those days. They are few and far between. It's best to take them when you get the chance," he said, being friendly.

"Our son is a grown man, now," Edward said, reaching for Bella's hand and wanting to reconnect with her. He sensed, and rightly so, that she was pulling away from him again. "He's twenty-one," Edward said, explaining.

"Oh. That's a whole set of new problems then, huh?" the cab driver remarked. "My sons are in their late twenty's now, but did they ever give me a run for my money in their late teens and early twenties. Heaven help me, and I had their mother all over my ass wanting me to keep tabs on them. But you know, really, boys that age will be boys, if you know what I mean?" he continued, winking at Edward in the rearview mirror. "Still, we got through relatively unscathed. Can't say the same for some of the young ladies around town, but my boys were careful. Taught them to be mindful of things," the driver finished, obviously feeling proud of himself for the job he'd done as a parent. "Oh for the carefree days of your twenties, isn't that right?" he finished, turning his head slightly to look directly at Edward in the back seat.

"Yeah," Edward agreed, smiling to himself and thinking of Dan and the fun he was having at this stage of his life. It reminded him of his own youth and the way he had doggedly pursued Tanya once he'd met her.

The cabbie continued on with a couple of other observations of early adulthood, but Edward wasn't really paying him much attention at this point. Bella had drawn his attention instead. She'd stiffened noticeably next to him and had let go of his hand. Her face was turned away from him, looking determinedly out the window with her lips closed in a tight line. Her features were stone-like.

"Have we much farther to go?" Edward asked the cab driver in order to change the topic.

"Nah. Just up around the corner."

_Thank God_, Edward thought as he put his arm around Bella's shoulders, trying to relax her. He wasn't sure what had happened to make her react so, but Edward assumed it must have been something the cab driver said that she'd taken exception to. It was clear to Edward that she was upset about something, and he was trying to go back over the conversations since they'd gotten into the cab, pinpointing what it might be that could have upset her.

Consumed with his own thoughts, it was a moment before Edward realized that Bella hadn't relaxed into his comforting arm. He looked to her, and the expression he saw on her face made him grimace.

Her eyes were filled with tears. She closed them momentarily, her forehead creasing with the effort it was taking to keep them at bay.

"We're nearly there. We're nearly home," he whispered in her ear, trying to comfort her while simultaneously hoping the driver would just shut up. Without thinking, he kissed her hair above her ear wanting to do nothing more than wipe the last five minutes from their evening.

Pulling up outside the hotel, Edward reached haphazardly into his coat pocket and threw some money at the cab driver.

Bella, just as quickly, moved to open the door. She wanted to flee the confined space as quickly as possible. She swiftly alighted from the cab, leaving Edward to scramble after her.

"Hey, man! Wait for your change!"

"Keep it," Edward said, slamming the door and not paying him any mind.

He followed Bella, catching up to her as she entered the lobby.

"Bella. Wait," he said, reaching for her.

"Edward, please," she said simply, only partially turning toward him, her eyes downcast.

"He was just some stupid cab driver."

"Edward. Let's just call it a night, please," Bella said again, deliberately not making eye contact with him.

"No. Don't let tonight end like this. Don't let it spoil a lovely night out. Come, have that coffee with me. Let's just keep talking."

"I'd really rather just go to bed."

"Bella, don't do this. Don't pull away. I know something he said has upset you. Please don't leave it like this."

Bella finally looked up into Edward's eyes. Her distress was evident and it was also apparent that she was barely holding it together. Her eyes and cheeks were wet with tears, and it looked to Edward like she was about to fall apart at any moment.

He quickly reassessed the situation.

"Let me get your room key. We can go upstairs and just talk privately. We don't need to have a drink down here. We can order coffee from room service again."

Bella didn't trust herself to speak. She knew that if she tried, she would fall apart in a million pieces right there in the middle of the lobby.

"Bella," Edward whispered, his voice clearly carrying his worry. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on with you. Don't shut me out this time. Let me in."

Something Edward said got through to Bella. Something connected with her deep down through the layers of distress she was now so obviously wearing on her sleeve. She looked at him and nodded, uttering three words.

"Not here," she said simply. "Upstairs."

Edward let out a relieved sigh. "Stay here. I'll go get your key."

Without further hesitation, Edward went to the reception desk and requested Bella's key, explaining that she had locked it in there before they'd left and that she was now feeling unwell and he needed to get her up to her room quickly. The girl behind the reception desk looked over Edward's shoulder to Bella and noticed her obvious signs of distress. Without complicating things further by needing to explain that it was against policy to give out keys to anyone other than the room's occupant, she retrieved the key for Mr Cullen and handed it to him. Edward thanked her courteously and immediately crossed back to Bella. He put a gentle arm around her shoulders and led her over to the elevators where he punched the 'up' button none too gently. Glancing at Bella, he noticed she was maintaining her composure – just. He was desperate to save her the embarrassment of breaking down in public, because looking at her now, he was almost certain that she was going to come asunder and he intrinsically knew that she would be mortified if that were to happen in the lobby of the hotel.

The doors to the elevator opened and Edward was caught off guard when Bella pulled abruptly away from him and entered unaided. The doors closed and he chanced a look at her. She was stoic; there was no other word for it. Her tears had disappeared, and in their place was an almost steel-like resolve. He wondered what emotions were driving her now.

Bella didn't look at him but stared straight ahead. Edward felt his nerves tighten in the pit of his stomach. He had no idea what was about to happen when they made it back to her room, but he had the distinct impression that polite conversation wasn't necessarily going to follow.

Edward led the way out of the elevator onto the 11th floor and moved to Bella's door. He used the swipe key to open it and then stood back, silently allowing her to enter. He almost expected her to stop him there – to tell him she had changed her mind – but she didn't. Instead, she strode purposefully into the room, throwing her bag and scarf onto the bed as she passed.

Edward entered the room behind her and closed the door. He watched her with trepidation as she paced around the room looking like a caged lioness desperate for space. He sensed her emotions reaching boiling point.

Shortly, they exploded.

"What the fuck did he mean by _boys will be boys, _the misogynistic bastard," she erupted. "He has no appreciation of what _his boys_ could have done to those _young ladies around town_. No fucking idea."

Edward was speechless. He'd never heard Bella utter a swear word, and yet here she was dropping them like they were part of her everyday dialogue.

"Son of a bitch!" Bella exclaimed vehemently, still pacing around the room. Her outburst having done little to help ease the build up of tension she was feeling.

Edward remained silent. He had no idea what to say.

"Did you hear what he said?" she asked him unnecessarily. "Boys will be boys!" she parroted. "Boys can do whatever the hell they want and that's just fine and dandy!" she continued, throwing her hands up into the air showing just how irate she really was.

Bella stopped suddenly and turned to face Edward.

"How many of those poor _young ladies_ would have ended up having some not-so-carefree times in their twenties, huh?" she continued. "I can tell you, my twenties weren't carefree – my late teens either for that matter. I wonder how many of _those young ladies _lost their youth and their freedom and had to grow old before their time just so his boys could be fucking boys?"

Edward stood in the middle of the room, staying as silent as a church mouse. Seeing Bella in a rage for the first time stunned him. This was not the Bella he had come to know over the last few weeks.

Bella turned and went to look out the window of her room. She tried to reign in her temper and get her breathing back under control. She thought of that imbecile cab driver. What he'd said incensed her to no end, and she struggled to regain her composure. His words had shaken her to her very core. She felt they had accurately mirrored her own situation, and within seconds, old feelings had resurfaced and came very close to dragging her emotionally back into a darker and sadder time.

Yet, while Bella stood in the lobby and waited for Edward to return with her room key, she began to feel something else – anger at the thought that someone could act so flippantly about such a situation. It was that anger that had quickly consumed her and given her something on which to focus. Her anger allowed her to push aside her memories of her darkest moments – memories that had threatened to push their way to the surface and overtake her yet again. She was tired of having to relive emotions from her past. She'd been forced to do that a lot lately, and she'd had enough.

Bella pulled aside the curtain and leaned her head against the cold pane of glass in the window. She focused on the feel of it against her skin, allowing it to override her senses. She closed her eyes and slowly began to calm down. Sucking in big deep breaths, Bella slowed her beating heart and tried to still her frazzled nerves.

As she calmed down, Bella became saddened for a whole new reason. Her outburst in front of Edward had been offensive in the extreme. She had sworn, badly – something she rarely, if ever, did, and to do so in front of him was inexcusable. On the few occasions in her life when Bella had really gotten upset, she had always tried to keep a lid on her emotions until she was alone. But this time she hadn't, and she was embarrassed and very disappointed in herself.

Unbeknownst to her, while Bella had been standing with her head against the window, Edward had quietly walked up behind her. He startled her when he spoke.

"Bella?" he asked gingerly, unsure what her reaction would be.

"Edward," she replied, turning abruptly. "I'm sorry for what just happened. That was inexcusable."

Calm Bella was back.

"Bella, it's alright. You're here in your room. Nobody else need be aware of what just happened."

"Still, that was wrong of me...it's just that...that...man," Bella said, disdain dripping from her tone of voice, "made me so angry. Fancy just brushing off things like that and then thinking he'd done a good job as a parent because he'd told his sons how to be _mindful of things_. Urgh!" she said, shaking her shoulders. "It just makes me so mad!"

"I can see that," Edward said, facing her. "And he was fairly casual in his approach, I'll admit that...but it was just a five-minute cab ride, Bella. I doubt he meant to cause such a reaction."

"Well, he could have just kept his mouth shut. What is it about cab drivers that they think people want to hear their opinions on things anyway? Just drive people... from A to B...no need for the chit-chat...no need for social commentary...just drive the car!" she continued, getting worked up again as she crossed to the table in her room and sat down heavily.

"Bella, it's over. He's gone, never to be seen or heard from again." _Hopefully_, he added in his mind.

"I hope you're right," she said, leaning heavily on one arm and holding her head in her hand.

"Believe me, so am I."

A moment of silence filled the room before Edward interrupted their private thoughts.

"Would you still like that coffee?" he asked wanting to help calm her down.

"Wha...? Oh, coffee? Um...no, I don't think so. I'm a bit worked up for coffee at the moment," she said apologetically. "You order one for yourself though," she added.

"No. I'm not much in the mood for coffee right now either," he replied.

Edward stayed where he was, his fingers lightly tracing along the stitching line on the top of the back of a chair. He was thinking back over events in the lobby. Edward felt certain that when he first stopped Bella down in the lobby, she was about to come unglued emotionally. In fact, he believed he could bet his last dollar on it, and the intensity in which her anger overtook her indicated to him that there had been some monumental shift in her thinking just before she'd entered the elevator. When he'd asked her downstairs to talk to him, he'd believed she'd agreed. _Not here. Upstairs_, she'd said to him. Bella hadn't shown signs of anger at that point. It wasn't until he stood by her at the elevator that he felt rather than noticed her change in attitude. He wondered what reason lay behind her sudden change in mood.

"Bella?" he said, getting her attention. "There's something I want to ask you."

"What is it?" she enquired, almost offhandedly.

"Downstairs, before we came up in the elevator, you seemed really...distressed...quite upset...but then things changed once we got inside to come upstairs."

"Hmm," Bella said, noncommittally.

"What happened? Why the change?"

"I don't know, Edward. I got really annoyed at that man's attitude, that's all. It's no biggie," Bella said, borrowing a phrase of Dan's.

Aware of Bella's attempted brush off, Edward pressed on.

"What happened, Bella?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"What happened to make you go from broken china to a fiery dragon so suddenly?"

"I was a dragon, huh?" she asked, avoiding the question.

"I wouldn't have wanted to fight you," he said, glad to get her talking reasonably, "but you still didn't answer my question."

"And what was that?" Bella stalled, giving herself more time to come up with an appropriate and plausible reply.

"What changed?"

"What do you mean, what changed?"

"Don't play games with me, Bella," Edward said, feeling exasperated. "You know exactly what I am talking about. You were down there, tears rolling down your cheeks and you finally agreed to talk to me, to tell me what's going on with you, and the next minute you're carrying on like there's no tomorrow over some unfortunate comment some stupid local made – a comment that's no doubt been uttered by hundreds of people around the world at one time or another. I just don't get it. What happened?"

Bella rose from her seat and headed back over towards the window, successfully ending the conversation.

Edward sighed heavily. Bella was doing what she always seemed to do when things got too personal. She shut up shop and withdrew, effectively disengaging herself from those around her – from him.

Momentarily, Edward crossed the room and stood silently next to her by the window. They shared that space for several minutes before either of them spoke. In what was becoming a pattern, it was Edward who broke the silence.

"Look how fresh everything looks out there. All the snow covering everything, leaving it all clean and white." Edward was trying to shift their focus. He didn't want to end a lovely evening with a disagreement.

Bella remained silent. When she finally did speak, her voice sounded very different from the one she had used just moments before – it was heavier, weighed down, flat.

"It only looks clean and white. The mud and the dirt are still underneath. It's just covered up, hidden from view."

Edward thought carefully about what Bella had just said. _Was there a hidden meaning in there?_

He spoke next, choosing his words very carefully.

"Mud's just a part of the cycle, Bella. When the snow melts, water mixes with dirt, but even the mud eventually gets washed away. It's not a permanent thing."

Bella paused, taking a deep breath. Edward looked at her closely. He wondered if maybe she, too, was choosing her words carefully.

"It leaves stains though," she said, "on the carpets, on your shoes, everywhere you go if you're not careful enough. And it always comes back year after year." Bella's voice had taken on a wistful quality. Edward was certain this time that she was referring to more than just the snow.

"But after a while, don't you just get used to it?" Edward asked. "Don't you just accept that it's part of the process and manage to work with it as best as you can?"

Bella didn't reply verbally. She merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Mud's not impenetrable, Bella. It can be broken down and cleaned up. It's doesn't have to leave a stain forever."

Bella exhaled quickly through her nose, the ensuing noise sounding much like a dismissive snort of sorts.

Edward let the silence linger for a moment longer before he spoke again.

"Bella? Why were you crying in the lobby?" he asked her softly.

Bella lowered her eyes from the window and stared at her feet, physically shaking her head from side to side as if to deflect Edward's question.

"Please don't pull away from me again, Bella," Edward implored. "You were finally going to open up to me. I know you were. You said you would, and now you're doing what you always do. You're shutting down. You're flipping a switch, and I'm left standing here more confused than ever."

Bella sniffled audibly, and upon closer inspection, Edward became aware that she was crying again.

"Why, Bella? Why do you do that?"

Bella composed herself before answering him.

"I don't like talking about some things, Edward. You know that."

"I know that you keep hiding from things for whatever the reason."

"Is that what you think I'm doing?" she challenged him, turning and looking him directly in the eyes. "Hiding from things? I can never hide from things, Edward," she said, shaking her head. "They confront me every single day – in some way, shape or form, every single day – especially lately."

"Since I've come on the scene, you mean?" he questioned her.

"Yes."

"What things, Bella?"

"No." Her voice sounded determined.

He pushed on regardless.

"What things?" he pressed her again.

"I said, _no_!"

"Dammit, Bella!" Edward cursed, losing his own temper. "I'm trying. I really am. I so want us to be able to move past this, but you won't talk to me," he said, slowing down the last few words in order to emphasize his point. "You won't let us deal with whatever it is to let us move forward. I've tried to be patient, to wait for you to open up to me in your own time, but every time I think we are getting closer to really talking, you pull away. It's frustrating as all hell."

"Sorry that you find dealing with me just too frustrating for you to handle, Edward," Bella said sarcastically. "Maybe you should just toddle off back to your side of the country and leave me and my frustrating behavior be."

"That's not what I want and you know it. Hell, Bella. I thought that we had finally become friends despite all of this. "

Bella felt herself tearing up. She'd believed that too. Tonight at the theatre, she'd really believed she found a friend in Edward.

_But he doesn't know the real you yet, does he Bella?_ her inner voice chided her.

"You won't like me if you find out all about me," she whispered under her breath, turning herself toward the window again.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. We can't be friends, Edward. That's just not in the cards for us."

"Who says?"

Bella didn't answer; she just shrugged.

"Why can't we be friends, Bella? What's stopping us from being friends?"

Again, Bella didn't respond. She just shook her head halfheartedly from side to side.

"Bella, talk to me!" Edward demanded, grabbing her by the shoulders and spinning her around to face him.

_Go on, Bella. Tell him what he wants to know. Let him see the real you – what you're really like on the inside. _

"I'm not a good person, Edward."

"Bullshit," Edward replied bluntly. "You're a great person. You're a wonderful mother and you're kind and..."

Bella cut Edward off with a self-deprecating laugh.

"I'm a wonderful mother?" she repeated. "No... no I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You've done a fabulous job with Dan."

Bella shook her head again, even more violently this time.

"Bella, stop that. Stop doing that. What's going on?"

"A wonderful mother...? A wonderful mother would never have done some of the things I did."

"What do you mean?"

Bella continued as if she didn't hear the last question.

"A wonderful mother would never have felt some of the things I've felt."

"Bella, I don't..." Edward started. He was still holding her by the upper arms, but she wouldn't make eye contact with him.

"I'm not a good person, Edward," she said, interrupting him again.

That was the second time Bella had said that, and it was the second time she had cut him off mid-sentence. Edward had no idea what she was referring to.

"Why, Bella?" he asked her. "Why aren't you a good person?"

The room was silent until Bella began to cry, her tears trailing down her cheeks unchecked.

Edward used his grip on her arms to shake her gently, trying to rouse her into some form of response. Her chin bobbed up and down as if she was a rag doll.

Bella's tears started to flow harder. They wouldn't stop. She squeezed her eyes together and pushed her fists into them, but they refused to still.

"Bella, talk to me," Edward begged, his voice breaking as he laid bare his own emotions in response to what was unfolding around him.

Bella tore herself away from Edward's grasp and put several feet of distance between the two of them.

"You'll hate me," she choked. "You won't want anything to do with me."

"Bella, I'd never feel that way. I promise you."

"Don't make promises you won't keep, Edward," she warned him.

"Don't keep telling me what I will and won't feel, Bella," he countered, his voice rising, his own emotions at the breaking point. "What's so bad that you think it would stop me from wanting to be friends with the mother of my son?" he asked her. "What could possibly be so bad...?"

Edward never finished that sentence. Bella's next outburst silenced him.

"I hated him!" she screamed, her emotions finally erupting. "I hated him!"

Edward had no idea who she was talking about. _Could it have been Charlie?_ Edward had long suspected that Bella's father had been much less that supportive during her pregnancy.

He posed his question out loud.

"Who, Bella? Was it Charlie?"

"Huh!" she exclaimed, her voice sounding foreign to his ears.

"If not Charlie, then who, Bella? I'm lost. I don't understand."

Bella turned her tear stained and contempt-ridden face toward Edward. What he saw in her eyes, the level of self-loathing they held, shocked him.

"Dan, Edward," her gutted voice said. "Our son, Dan. I never wanted him. I hated him," she finished.

"Bella?" Edward said slowly. "You don't mean that."

"Oh..ho..ho...ho...ho. But I do, Edward. You have no idea how much."

Edward stood across the room from Bella, not knowing how to respond. He had no idea what to say, and the emotions barely contained in her voice stunned him into inaction. He stood there silently trying to regroup.

Bella, too, stood there quietly, watching Edward closely as a mix of emotions ghosted across his features. Her stance seemed to be challenging him – daring him to live out her predictions_. You'll hate me_. Bella knew deep in her heart what her declaration would mean. She knew that Edward would no longer see her as the caring and attentive mother he believed her to be. She knew that he would begin to see her as she saw herself – a selfish, horrid old woman.

The emotional trauma she was experiencing combined with her mind and body's undeniable fatigue began to overtake Bella. Her body started to react of its own accord. Her hands began to shake and her fingertips started to feel numb. Bella crossed her arms over her chest. It was a reflex action –something her body did to try and maintain warmth and circulation. Subconsciously, she began rubbing her hands up and down her upper arms. Her jaw, previously taut and locked in position, started to wobble involuntarily. She could hear her blood pounding in her ears.

Bella was frozen to the spot – her body's response to such intense emotions and underlying trauma taking her by surprise. She sucked in a ragged breath between her chattering teeth, her body needing large amounts of oxygen to support the adrenaline surging through it.

It was a moment or two before Bella consciously thought about what she'd just said.

She closed her eyes. Relief overwhelmed her. She'd finally said it. After all these years, she'd finally said aloud what only she'd known was true. She'd admitted what she'd felt all those years ago but had never expressed to anyone – ever.

Bella then began to feel yet another familiar emotion spread throughout her body. Shame. It, too, was welcoming. It was something she could deal with. It felt normal to her. Shame was something she had lived with for a long time. _What kind of mother was she that she could have hated her own child with such passion?_

Edward heard Bella suck in loud breath. He instinctively reacted to it, and he was roused out of his own trancelike state. He looked up just as Bella started to teeter and sway where she stood.

He crossed the floor to her in three long strides, reaching out for her as her knees started to fail.

"I've got you. I've got you," he said, taking her weight and gently lowering both of them to the floor.

Except for the sound of Bella's forced breaths as her body fought for supremacy over her emotions, they sat together on the floor in her room in silence.

Bella didn't cry at first. Edward sat with her, supporting most of her trembling body in his lap. He cradled her and rocked her as anyone would a small child. He whispered soothing words, none of them really making sense to Bella in her present state.

Bella was curled into as tight a ball as her body would allow. Her feet and hands were cold and numb, and tucked as she was against Edward's body, the only warmth she felt came from him. Her own body felt cold as ice.

After what seemed like a considerable length of time, Edward shifted Bella's body weight just marginally and tried to get her to look at him.

"Bella?" he whispered quietly.

He pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes were closed. He was unsure if she'd even heard him.

He tried again.

"Bella?"

This time, reacting to the use of her name, Bella opened her eyes. They were glassy and unfocused, staring off into space.

Edward wondered what she was seeing in her mind's eye.

"We need to talk," he said hesitantly.

Hearing this, Bella once again closed her eyes tightly. She shook her head so slightly it was almost unnoticeable.

"Bella," Edward started again. He kept his voice low and soft.

Bella didn't know that Edward understood all too well where she was emotionally at that moment. He'd been there himself years ago, when during counseling and therapy after the loss of his and Tanya's unborn children, and the subsequent breakdown of his marriage, he had come apart in his therapist's office. He knew what it was like for your body to react of its own accord and lose control over it. It was scary as hell.

"I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. Breathe, Bella. Just breathe."

To Bella, Edward's voice sounded a million miles away, and yet somehow, she instinctively knew she was safe. She was aware that he was holding her and not letting go. That grounding, that sense of touch, was what she needed. It helped keep her mind rooted in reality.

Several more minutes passed before eventually, Bella felt her body begin to unwind. It started with her head and neck. Aware of the dissipating tension, she tentatively and ever so slowly concentrated on relaxing her muscles. They complied. She ached all over and felt extremely tired and very, very heavy. Her eyes also felt weighed down and refused to open.

"Bella?" Edward asked softly, trying to gain her attention.

Bella moved slightly. Edward knew he had reached her.

"Bella, just try and move a little. Stretch out a bit and sit up when you feel you can," Edward said, continuing to speak in hushed tones. He used his own body, numb from supporting Bella's weight for so long, to gently encourage her movements.

"Open your eyes, Bella. Look at me."

As if emerging from a dense fog, Bella cautiously opened her eyes and slowly focused on her surroundings.

"Look at me, Bella," Edward encouraged. "I'm here. You're safe. Everything's alright."

Bella's mind felt like it was thinking at half its normal pace.

She gingerly sat herself up and supported her own weight, Edward's hands falling to the floor as she did. She looked at him, her expression marked by lines of incomprehension.

"Bella?" Edward asked. "Can you stand?"

"Yes," she said. Her voice sounded weak and scratchy.

"Here, let me help you." Edward pushed himself upwards from the floor, his own muscles relishing the chance to stretch and be released from their previous positions. He extended his hand to help Bella off the floor. "Come, sit down," he said, directing her to a chair at the small round table in her room. "Can I get you a glass of water?"

"Yes, please." Bella didn't recognize her voice. She coughed quietly, attempting to clear it.

Edward crossed to the small kitchenette and filled a glass at the sink.

Bella sat at the table and rested her head in her hands. Everything hurt – her head, her body, her heart.

"Thanks," she said, looking up briefly as Edward placed the glass of water on the table in front of her along with a box of tissues.

Bella reached for a tissue and blew her nose.

Edward watched her silently.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"I know."

Edward took a deep breath. He didn't know where to start. It was one thing being in a therapist's chair and needing to talk. It was another thing entirely trying to get someone to talk.

He decided to honor the truth.

"I don't hate you, Bella."

Those simple words, so plain and yet so powerful, broke through Bella's remaining resolve. She began to cry and Edward let her. Silently, he offered her another tissue, which she took without looking at him.

"I feel immense pain and heartache, but there's no hate here," he said, reinforcing his earlier statement.

Bella lowered her head onto the table and cried in earnest. This time, Edward intentionally didn't touch her.

Often seen as being an action that provides comfort and support, touch can also unintentionally cause people to stifle the free expression of their emotions. Touch, accompanied as it regularly is in times of stress by well intentioned _shushes and hushes_, can inadvertently prevent others from accepting and owning what they feel. Edward knew this from personal experience, and he accurately guessed from tonight's events that Bella was well practiced in suppressing her emotions.

For her own good, it had to stop.

"You've been keeping some things deeply buried for a very long time, haven't you?" he asked her, when her crying eased a little.

Bella pushed herself up off the top of the table and rested her forearms on it. She nodded her head while she fiddled with the wet tissue in her fingertips.

"There's no need for you to do that anymore," Edward encouraged.

"Dan can never know," Bella blurted out.

"He will never hear it from me," he said, reaching gently for her hand to reinforce the promise.

Bella nodded her head. "Thank you."

"I told you a month ago, Bella, that anything you shared with me would be kept in confidence if that's what you wanted. That hasn't changed."

Again, Bella just nodded. Her lips were held together in a tight line. Edward wondered how many more emotions were trying to escape those confines.

"I think we really need to talk a bit about what's happened."

Bella looked at him, her eyes pleading and looking very tired and forlorn.

"I know you're tired, Bella. But no matter how tired you're feeling right now, your body wouldn't let you rest anyway. Let's talk some things out first. Let's give your mind a chance to debrief and settle down a little. It won't be as hard now. The hardest part is over."

Edward didn't know that couldn't have been more wrong.

"How do you know that?"

"Because you've finally opened the door, Bella, and that's the hardest part. It won't be smooth sailing or easy from here, but the hardest part was undoing the lock on that door."

"You sound so confident. You have no idea what else is in here," she said, pointing to her chest.

"Whatever it is, it's something we can handle together, if you decided to let me in."

Bella spoke while continuing to fiddle with the crumpled tissue in her hand. "Why are you doing this? I don't understand."

"I owe you twenty-two years worth of emotional support, Bella. I wasn't here before, but I am now."

Bella shook her head, not accepting his explanation. She couldn't believe he was sitting there across from her, talking so calmly to her.

"I just told you that I hated our son...that I never wanted him," she said, watching for his reaction as he listened to those words for a second time.

Edward closed his eyes briefly but opened them to look Bella straight in the eye.

"And I know for a fact that is no longer true. Whatever you felt in the past belongs in the past, Bella. It isn't who you are now. You have to stop letting it color everything you do. You aren't that person anymore. I know you're not that person anymore."

Bella sniffled, unable to hold back her tears once again. She didn't feel worthy of such compassion and understanding. They were two emotions she had never allowed herself.

Edward silently passed her another tissue before he continued.

"We have to look at all of this and examine it, and then put it away for good. What you will learn about yourself by doing that will give you the power you need to put it behind you where it belongs."

Bella looked at him in disbelief.

"I'm no therapist, Bella, but I've spent my fair share of time in a chair in front of one," he said, trying to explain.

This time, Bella looked at him skeptically.

Edward raised his eyebrows and offered her a self-conscious smile.

"Four miscarriages and years of shutting myself off from the person who loved me was what ultimately culminated in the breakdown of my marriage. Experiencing something like that can cause a person to have to deal with a few issues," he explained. "The thing is, Bella," he said regrouping, "you don't have to let your past dictate how you play out your future. I learned that. Maybe you can, too."

"Miscarriages?" Bella repeated. She realized for the first time that she knew next to nothing about Edward's marriage.

"We had four of them, and at the end of the day, it was something neither of us could come to terms with. By the time we realized that, our marriage was already past the point of no return," he said simply. What Edward didn't admit to were the years of torment he experienced during and after such tragic events and the long hard road he had chosen to take in order to win back his pride and a better sense of self.

"I'm sorry," Bella said genuinely.

"Thank you." Edward smiled, to himself. "You know, once, I would never have been able to say that. Somebody would have offered me their condolences after the divorce and I would have brushed it aside or pretended it didn't really affect me all that much. The truth was, I was lying to myself and to the people around me who were trying to help me. It was an arrogant thing to do and I was none the better for it. It only made things harder to deal with in the end." He looked at Bella. "Don't make the same mistakes I did," he implored her. "You're here, now. You've started. Don't stop. Be brave enough to face it so you can move on...so we all can move on."

"I'm scared," she said.

"I know," he replied, reaching forward to take her hand in his. "So, just talk to me."

"About what?"

"Anything. Just start."

"I don't know where."

Edward took a long slow breath of his own before giving her a starting point. He had no idea that in doing so, he would tear the lid right off Bella's personal Pandora 's Box.

"How long before you knew you were pregnant?"

Bella closed her eyes. Within seconds she was a scared eighteen-year-old teenager sitting on her bed alone in her bedroom with a diary in her hands. She opened her eyes.

"It was the middle of August. I was due to start college the next month, and I was looking at my diary to try and work out dates for things like shopping and packing and moving and the like." She took another calming breath, but her voice betrayed her and her emotions when she continued to speak. "I was...," another breath, "flipping through the pages, and," another breath, "I realized I hadn't marked any dates in my diary, for, you know," she said, looking up at Edward.

He nodded in silent response.

Bella continued.

"And I started to," she closed her eyes, her actions that day replaying like an old video behind them, "count days, and then I realized that...things weren't right...and then... I...," Bella halted, her face was scrunched up as she recalled her actions and the feelings that went with them.

"Did you tell anyone once you worked out you were pregnant?"

"No!" Bella said, her head shooting up straight away. "I didn't even really know for sure. I just kind of kidded myself that maybe things were just a bit haywire and that it didn't really mean anything...that things would just come right again over the next week or so."

"But they didn't."

"No, they didn't."

"So, how long until you actually had it confirmed that you were pregnant?"

"By a doctor?"

Edward nodded his head.

"Another couple of weeks or so after that. Of course, I knew for sure then that I was."

"How?"

Bella sighed, recalling another memory.

"About a week after I finally realized I had missed my period, I came up with an excuse to drive into Port Angeles by myself, except I didn't drive to Port Angeles. I drove to Olympia instead. I went to a drugstore and bought a home pregnancy test," she explained. "It wasn't like I could just go anonymously into the local drugstore in Forks, or even Port Angeles for that matter; too many people knew me as The Chief's daughter."

Edward offered her a sympathetic smile.

"So, I found the smallest, dingiest little drugstore in some out-of-the-way place, put on dark sunglasses and a cap, and went in and bought one." Bella laughed at her own image. "I must have looked so...," she said, shaking her head.

"Scared?" Edward finished for her.

"Probably. I remember the man behind the counter. He had on a checked shirt, dark pants and brown shoes. I couldn't even look him in the eye. I was just so embarrassed, but I remember thinking _why would anyone wear brown shoes with dark pants_?"

Edward smirked at her observation, seeming so out of place with what being discussed. "What happened next?" he asked her.

"I drove to a local mall, went to a bathroom stall and did the test."

"And it was positive."

"Obviously. I found out I was pregnant in the stall of a public restroom at a shopping mall," she confirmed, once again shaking her head. "Not exactly romantic, huh?"

"I'd say not," Edward frowned, thinking of Bella alone in a stall with that little stick in her hands.

"I knew deep down that I was, but I kept hoping...you know? I just kept hoping that it was all just one big mistake."

Edward rubbed her hand, empathizing with her.

"When did you tell your parents?"

"Not for a week or so after that. The date for me going to college was coming up quickly and I thought about just going away and not telling them, and then trying to hide it all while I was away but..."

"Where were you planning to go?"

"To college?"

"Yeah."

"Western Washington University in Bellingham."

Edward raised his eyebrows, impressed.

Bella smirked. "I was a good student. I got good grades. I'd been saving my money, and my parents had some put away. We couldn't afford anything too far away, but I was getting out of Forks, and I was going to live in a dorm on campus but..." Bella didn't finish her sentence. She simply shrugged her shoulders to portray what was left of a past dream that never came to fruition.

"So, what happened?"

Bella leaned forward on her elbows and rested her face in her hands. The memories of the next few weeks in her life were tough to face. She couldn't look at Edward as she began to recall those horrible weeks where she battled with herself between wanting her dreams and facing her reality.

Edward waited patiently for Bella to continue her story. She didn't. Instead, he heard her quiet cries from behind her hand.

He reached for her, and gently pulled one of her hands from her face. She allowed him to take it and she squeezed his hand, trying to draw strength from him in order tell what happened next. He encased her hand in both of his and returned the pressure, willing her to go on.

She lifted her face toward him and blinked away her tears. She reached for yet another tissue with her free hand and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said, breaking into a fresh set of tears.

"I know," he whispered back.

"I really didn't..."

"It's OK, Bella. You can trust me."

She looked at him and spoke through her tears, her voice cracking and torn with emotions that were swarming around her, threatening to engulf her.

"I thought that maybe I could...lose it...that I could do something to make it go away...I... I... stopped eating... I," she paused, sucking in a harsh breath. "I thought that if I could starve it, maybe I could lose it," she finished. Her contempt for her eighteen-year-old self and its naiveté could be heard in each word.

It wasn't lost on Edward that she referred to Dan as an 'it'. It cut him to the core inside, but he didn't comment. Instead, he continued to rub her hand in his as she wiped at her eyes. He realized that Bella was talking about harming herself in order to harm the baby and cause it to miscarry. It gutted him to think that she would deliberately try to lose a child, and intense pain erupted in his chest thinking of the hurt and anguish he and Tanya had suffered when they had fought tooth and nail to prevent that exact thing from happening.

"I did other things, too," Bella admitted. "Stupid things."

Edward simply raised his eyebrows, not brave enough to attempt to speak should his own intense feelings betray him.

"I took really hot baths...really hot...," she continued. "And I..." Bella shook her head at the memory, "and I hit myself in the stomach over and over and over...," she couldn't continue. She broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. She laid her head in her arms on the table and cried.

At this point, it all became too much for Edward, too. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on the back of her head. There the two of them cried over the potential loss of their child. Bella was buried in grief and shame so deep that it felt like her chest was being repeatedly stabbed with each breath she took.

Edward, also overcome, was surprised by the intensity of his own sense of loss. He understood now, more than ever before, just what the last month had brought him. He was an entirely different person now from the one he had been a month ago, and he was now mourning the possible loss of a child that just five short weeks before he had never known even existed. The emotional pain he was now experiencing was as real as if it Bella's retelling of events was happening at that very moment. Edward now understood that Dan had, in this short space of time, become the cornerstone in his life. A life without Dan in it was impossible to imagine.

It was several minutes before either of them was ready to move, let alone speak. Eventually, Edward lifted himself from Bella's hair. He removed one of his hands from hers and smoothed it over the back of her head before running it over his face and jaw. He then dragged it backwards through his hair before he used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes.

Bella remained where she was, her eyes turned away from Edward, not brave enough to look him in the eye, scared of what she might see.

Edward softly rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Bella replied, still not looking at him.

Edward concentrated on the regular rhythm of his breathing, using the time to compose himself.

"You had a pretty rough time of it, huh?" he said, eventually. He had no idea what else to say. Her admissions had shaken him deeply. He couldn't, for now, make sense of his own feelings; they would have to be dealt with later. For now, he would contend himself with trying to get Bella talking again.

It wasn't going to be an easy job. Despite her efforts so far, she had grown silent again and still wouldn't make eye contact with him.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that on your own," Edward said quietly.

With her face turned away from him as it was, Edward didn't see Bella's eyes shut tightly.

Her continued silence led him to ask another question.

"How long before other people became aware of what was going on?"

Bella pushed herself up off the table, letting go of Edward's hand as she wiped at her eyes.

"A week or two more. My mother thought I was sick at first. I was vomiting a lot – some of it I came to realize was morning sickness, and other times...well...I was putting my plan into action. I stopped eating as much as I dared in front of people...and the rest of the time, when I had to eat something, I brought it back up afterwards."

"Oh, Bella!" Edward said, his voice full of disappointment.

"I know... I."

"No. Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's OK, Edward. I've lived with the memories of this for a very long time. I get what an awful thing that was to do."

"It was an awful thing for you to have to experience," he countered.

Bella pressed her lips together and raised her eyebrows, silently acknowledging that truth.

"Sorry. Go on. You were saying? Your mother?"

"Mom. She thought I was sick – and maybe that I was developing an eating disorder," Bella cringed at the memory. "That's why I had to make sure I was eating in front of them."

Edward nodded. He forced himself to stay quiet.

"So, anyway," Bella said, regrouping. "About a week or so after I found out for sure, I made an appointment to see a doctor in Seattle."

"A doctor?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I thought he might be able to help me."

Edward frowned. "Help you...?" he repeated, his voice trailing off as it dawned on him what that could possibly mean. "Bella?"

"I used a phone book from the post office and tore out a few pages...and tried to make a few anonymous phone calls...and..."

"You found a doctor who you thought would help you with a...termination?" Edward's voice faltered on the last word.

Bella hung her head. "Yes."

"Oh, Bella. Why?"

"Why?" she asked him, her voice rising. "Why?" She shook her head at him, not believing he couldn't automatically understand why. "I was eighteen. A few weeks from my nineteenth birthday. I was pregnant with a child I didn't want. I was _supposed_ to be going to college. I was _supposed_ to be getting out of that stingy little town. I was _supposed_ to be getting a chance at living a life. I didn't _want_ to be stuck with some kid in a deadend job 'cause I'd gotten knocked up and never finished my education. I had _plans_, Edward. Plans for me. Plans that didn't involve giving up everything to look after a child." Bella got up from her position at the table. "I had _dreams_, Edward. And being pregnant meant throwing all of those away."

Edward cringed at the picture she painted – a scared, upset girl with her world falling apart around her – and he was to blame but had no idea at the time.

"I know. I mean, I get that," he stammered, running his hands through his hair. "It's just a lot to take in, you know?"

"Try coming to terms with it when you're eighteen and all alone."

Edward stood in front of Bella, his head hanging from his shoulders, bobbing up and down.

"I get it. I'm sorry," he said, not knowing what else to say.

After a moment or two, he looked up at her.

"You were that determined to go through with it then? The termination?"

Bella nodded her head. "Yes."

"Well, then, what stopped you?" he challenged, bitterness creeping into his voice despite his best attempts at controlling his emotions.

"I was getting to that part."

"What part?"

"The part where my mother found me on the side of the road, having run out of gas on the way to Seattle."

"What?"

"Yeah. Pretty dumb, huh?" Her voice, once again laden with contempt. "I was so preoccupied with planning to do what I was going to do that I forgot to put gas in the truck. I ran out of gas fifteen miles out of town. I didn't even make it off the Peninsula."

Edward looked at Bella, dumbstruck.

"Have you ever considered it was fate intervening?" he asked her quietly.

She answered with one word. "Often."

Edward stood silently in the room as the events from the last few hours swirled around in his mind. He was floored by the fact that one of the reasons Dan was alive today was because Bella had run out of gas. It was all too much to process. He was feeling numb and finding it difficult to form a coherent thought – everything in his mind was jumbled and disoriented.

"So, your mother found you on the side of the road?" he clarified.

"Yes."

"What did you tell her about you being there?"

Bella's forehead wrinkled as she thought back to that meeting.

"One look at me and she knew something was terribly wrong," Bella started. "I'd been there for fifteen minutes or so, and worked myself up to quite a state by that time. I must have been a real sight, and I should be grateful that nobody else stopped to help me. The first person to come along and find me was my mother. I believe now that fate was really working in my favor that day." Bella looked up to catch Edward raising his eyebrows but not looking at her, his mouth held in a taut line. She once again lowered her own gaze. She found it impossible to look at him while she related her story. "She asked me what was wrong, and I told her I'd run out of gas, but she knew something else was going on and told me so. I tried to hedge around things, but I just couldn't keep it a secret any longer...it was eating me up inside."

"How did she take it?" Edward asked, turning his face to look at her.

"I was surprised, really. Then again, I was so upset myself that I probably didn't really take it all in. I was crying, sitting in the front seat of my truck, and my mother was standing on the roadside, her back against the open driver's door. She just said, _Oh, Bella_, and gave me the biggest hug. I lost it completely and cried like I'd never stop."

"Did you tell her where you were off to?"

"No."

"Did you ever?"

"No. I couldn't," she said, shaking her head. "Looking back, I think that maybe, deep down, I really didn't want to do it, and it would have killed my mother knowing what I was planning to do... and I was just so embarrassed and felt so stupid for not even thinking about the practicalities like gas...I couldn't even manage the most basic of things and here I was pregnant with a child," she continued, sarcasm once again permeating her words, "and I..." Bella's voice trailed off thinking about how her father's reaction had been nothing like her mother's and the terrible weeks and months that followed. "There was a lot to deal with once the news became public. I just wanted to hide away from the world. I was mortified by what people were saying, sometimes even right to my face, let alone what was being said behind my back."

"Didn't your family support you?"

"My mom was, in one word, incredible. I really don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there for me...not that I actually appreciated it at the time. I was just so angry and horrible to everyone," she said, shaking her head at her disturbing memories.

"What about your dad?"

Bella took a deep breath. The Charlie she knew and loved as an adult was a far cry from the Charlie she remembered as a teenager.

"My dad didn't cope with things all that well, especially since I wouldn't tell them any of the details surrounding it all."

"I don't understand," Edward commented. "Why wouldn't you tell them?"

"Edward, you didn't know my father back then. He was _The Chief_. He was stern and strong and formidable. His word was law in and around the town, and in our house," Bella explained. "Before all of this, I was Daddy's Little Girl...Miss Goody-two-shoes...and I rarely put a foot out of place...I towed the line...did what was expected of me. My getting pregnant was the ultimate betrayal of everything he had tried to instil in me. I was a failure in his eyes. I'd let him down terribly." Bella was surprised at how unemotional she was retelling this part of the story. She absentmindedly wondered if maybe she had no tears left to shed.

Edward thought about what Bella just told him. He couldn't understand his own father acting in such a way. It seemed incomprehensible to him.

"I can't believe he didn't support you."

"He did, in his own way. I lived at home. He could have kicked me out, but he didn't."

"That would have been appalling."

"Still, it could have played out like that. My mom was my staunchest supporter. Really, it wasn't a happy time in our household. I tried to stay away from everyone. I basically lived out of my room. I ate when I was told to, Mom made sure I ate well enough, even though I didn't have much of an appetite."

"'Cause of morning sickness?"

"It ended up being all-day sickness, at least for a while. Things got better eventually, but it was more than that. My head wasn't in a good place. I was angry and bitter and volatile and ...urgh! not a nice person to be around, at all."

"Who took care of you medically?"

"The local hospital had a clinic. Mom would drag me along there for all my appointments. I hated it. I was mortified to be there. Everyone knew me, and I used to cringe if people wanted to try and talk to me. Again, thinking back on it all, I probably blew the whole thing out of proportion, but some people, especially kids from school, were just so...," Bella gave a little shudder, "horrible," she finally said. "They'd come back for vacations, and I'd see them laughing at me or whispering behind their hands. I hated leaving the house. I would have preferred to stay in my room 24/7 and read all day...lose myself in somebody else's story rather than have to live my own."

Bella painted a very clear visual image for Edward. He didn't like what he could see.

"All of that still doesn't explain why you wouldn't tell anybody about what happened in Long Beach."

"Oh, Edward. Can't you understand? I was ostracized even in my own home. My father wouldn't talk to me...he wouldn't even sit in the same room as me! My parents were fighting all the time – over me. Do you have any idea how much worse that would have been if he'd known that I'd gotten drunk and smoked dope and slept with some guy whose name I couldn't even remember properly?"

"But I could have helped, Bella."

"How? How could you have helped, Edward? You were a college student. Think about what you're saying."

"I am. I could have left college and gotten a job. I had money from my inheritance. I could have set us up in a place."

"But then what? You'd never have finished college. You would have had me, a girl you didn't know, and a child to look after, with next to no skills other than being a member of a college band who played gigs around the nightclub circuit. It would have been hideous."

"It might not have played out like that," he said defensively.

"It very well could have. You were smoking dope. How was I to know that it wasn't your modus operandi? How was I to know that you didn't get stoned every night and that I wasn't going to have to sit at home with a kid while you were out drinking and doing god knows what with other groupies? Don't you see, I had no idea what kind of person you were and whether you were even fit to be a parent."

"You never even gave me a chance!"

"I know," she said, her face crumpling. "Don't you think I've gone back over this time and time again in my head since meeting you? Don't you think I have come up with every _what if_ scenario possible? _What if_ I'd found you? _What if_ you'd supported us? _What if_ we'd managed to make a go of it? _What if_ we'd fallen in love? _What if_ Dan hadn't grown up knowing he was a little boy without a father? _What if_ Dan hadn't been teased about his mother not knowing who his father was? _What if_ Dan hadn't had to grow old before his time? _What if_ Dan had the financial support you could have given him? " Bella's voice was rising with each question. She was losing her grip on her emotions as she struggled yet again with the new found knowledge of Edward and his successful life. "Don't you think that I haven't berated myself over and over about how bad my decisions were back then and what they've cost all of us? I've said, _I'm sorry_, Edward. I don't know what else I can do!" she cried pitifully. "I can't take it all back. I wish I could, but I can't!"

Edward had raised his hands to the back of his head while Bella had been speaking, almost as if he was trying to use them to block out what she was saying. He knew that what she'd said was perfectly reasonable given the circumstances, but reason and emotions often did not work well together, and this was definitely one of those times.

The two of them stood there, each lost in their own thoughts, edged with pain and grief.

"You thought your life and Dan's would be better without me in it," Edward said finally, his voice monotone and devoid of emotion.

"Yes, eventually. At first, I was just really too angry to give a damn about your rights in all of this, and..." Bella paused, worried how Edward might respond to the next bit of news, "I didn't plan on keeping Dan after the birth anyway. I was planning on giving him up for adoption."

"What?" Edward head jerked up.

Intense emotions crossed Bella's features. "I didn't tell anyone. I kept it to myself, but I was planning on leaving him at the hospital after I'd had him. I was going to sign papers to have him adopted out. I just wanted to get it all over and done with and go on with the rest of my life."

Edward frowned deeply. "As if it had never happened?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

Edward was hit with another emotional punch. Termination hadn't been her only option. She'd considered adoption, too. She still hadn't wanted anything to do with the baby.

"Why?"

"I didn't want a baby, Edward. I've told you that."

"But you carried the pregnancy. You didn't go through with the abortion."

"I didn't go through with it because of my mom, not because I'd decided I wanted the baby."

"Oh," he said, trying to process the new information. "When did things change?"

"When did I decide to keep him?"

Edward didn't speak. He simply nodded his head while fighting new waves of emotions that were bombarding him and threatening to drag him under.

"After he was born. But not right away. I didn't even want to look at him after he was born," Bella said, her heart breaking at the memory. "I...it was a terrible delivery, not that I had anything to measure it by...but I was young and small, and my body wasn't ready...and he was so big and...it was horrible, and I just wanted it out of there. I hated it and I hated me...It felt like the labor was my punishment for everything I'd done." Bella was crying again now, her tears falling down her cheeks. She swiped at them roughly, brushing them away. "My mom was there through it all. She was so worried for me and the baby. She couldn't believe that I didn't want to look at it. She tried over and over again in the few hours after he was born, but I just refused to open my eyes if she brought him anywhere near me. I remember thinking it was ironic that I got a boy. A little girl that could have looked like me was one thing, but a boy? It just made me even more bitter."

Edward was aghast at what he was hearing. He'd heard all kinds of stories of mother-child bonding post delivery and hadn't in his wildest dreams ever imagined how a mother could reject her baby. But then he had a strange thought, _It happens in nature. Animals can reject their offspring._

He was brought back to the present by Bella continuing her story.

"Anyway. She stayed in the room with him and me. She wrapped him. She held him. She talked to him and gave him his first drink, and the whole time I was just wishing she would take him away. I think the nursing staff was getting pretty concerned because a few of them came in and tried to get me to hold him or just look at him, but I wouldn't." Bella's tears continued to fall. Her pain and self-contempt were evident in every word she uttered.

"So what happened?" Edward asked, surprised by the sound of his own voice. It was crackly and raspy.

"About fifteen or so hours after he was born, I woke up to find him pushed up next to me in one of those hospital cribs. It was just him and me. Nobody else. I looked at him and something happened. It wasn't love...not at all...more like curiosity. He was asleep, and I very gingerly reached out and tried to touch his face with my finger. I was surprised by how sore I was. I ached all over, and I couldn't stretch that far without feeling a lot of pain. My mom entered the room just as I was trying to prop myself up in bed to try and reach him." Bella's eyes closed as she replayed that event in her head.

_Stay there, love, you must be sore. I'll get him for you. He's been very sleepy. He's had a big day of it, haven't you little one?_ Renee cooed as she reached to pick up the sleeping child from the crib. _Lay back there, love, and I can put him next to you just like this, _she'd said as she'd laid him on the bed next to her._ Put your arm here, just like that. He won't fall that way. He's beautiful, isn't he? And look at all that hair. You had a mop of hair just like that._

Bella had been relaying the experience aloud to Edward as she remembered her mother's gentle coaxing_. You won't hurt him, love. He's been through rougher than that just being born. Look at his nose and those lips. Little rose buds they are._

"I guess you could say that I wasn't quite as fearful of him," Bella said, continuing her story, her mind very much now in the present.

"You told me you named him when you held him for the first time," Edward said quietly.

Bella nodded her head, wiping away stray tears. "I brushed his face with my finger, and I remember feeling how soft he was, and I can't explain it, the name just came to me. Dan." Bella's face crumpled again, as she started to cry heavily. "He became real to me at that moment. He wasn't an _it_...he was a little boy...he was Dan." Bella buried her face in her hands, and momentarily, she felt two arms wrap around her in a strong embrace.

Bella buried her head in Edward's chest and sobbed. He rested his head on top of her and cried along with her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she chanted. "I'm so sorry."

Edward tried to speak, but his own voice came out as nothing more than a choked breath. His shoulders shook as his emotions finally got the better of him, and he fell apart while holding her.

It was several minutes before either of them was in enough control to break the embrace. Slowly, Edward released his arms from around her in response to her gentle pushing on his chest.

Bella wiped her hands across her eyes. Edward mirrored the gesture.

They looked at each other, both faces lined with grief and fatigue.

"I wish...I wish I'd been a better person back then, Edward," she said haltingly. "We all deserved so much better than that."

Edward reached for Bella's hand and held it. He had come to understand just how tough a time Bella had experienced, and he was deeply sad for her. She was right. She had lost her youth and her innocence because of their carelessness. It was a huge price to pay.

"We have gotten better, now, Bella, and so much more. We've got a future," he said, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing the inside of her palm. "I can't marry my life from a month ago to the one I have now," he said honestly, and surprised that his own voice could sound so calm. "Nothing can wipe away the pain of the past, but you sharing it with me is a gift that I'm very grateful for." He held her hand to his chest. "I'm really sorry that you've had to cope with so much. I can't put into words all the things I am feeling at the moment...it's all just so much to deal with, but I will be forever grateful that you've finally trusted me enough to confide in me."

"I've never told anyone the things I've told you tonight," she said, looking at her hand that was being securely held on his chest.

"I know."

"I didn't think I'd ever tell anyone."

"I know."

Bella took a deep breath.

"I'm glad I have, finally."

"I am, too. Very much."

Bella smiled weakly and looked up into his eyes.

"Thank you for being here, Edward."

"There's no place at this moment in time I would rather be."

"And thank you for not hating me."

Edward smiled gently back at her.

"Of all the things I am feeling tonight, Bella, hate is definitely no longer one of them."

* * *

I'll be hiding somewhere between the thread on twi, twitter and the review page.

I value each and every one of my readers.

Thank you for all for sticking with me and my fic and for coming to care so deeply for my characters.

Until next time

Leisa


	35. Chapter 35

Thank you all for the response to the last chapter. I did try to respond to all of you but some of you had your PMs disabled, so please realize that if I didn't get back to you, I tried.

Onwards...

SM owns twilight. This story however, is mine.

* * *

**Chapter 35 – It's a matter of Trust.**

"You look like you need to sleep," Edward said to her softly while still holding her hand against his chest.

"Urgh. I must look dreadful," Bella bemoaned, rubbing her free hand over her eyes.

Edward smiled gently at her.

"You look like a mother who loves her son very much."

Bella closed her eyes, a small crease formed in between her brows. She nodded her head.

"You're tired, Bella. You need to get some rest."

"I don't know if I could sleep, even if I wanted to," she answered honestly, looking up at him. Despite her body's weariness and her brain's exhaustion, her mind was still a whirlpool of mixed emotions.

"Have you got that camomile you bought this morning?" Edward asked her. "I could make you a cup of that."

"It's over by the kettle, I think," Bella answered, looking in that direction. Her hand was still on Edward's chest. He hadn't let it go, and she hadn't removed it.

"Why don't you go and get changed for bed, and I'll put the kettle on."

"You don't need to do that," she said, finally removing her hand from his chest before raking both of hers through her hair. Edward watched her and again noticed how tired and worn out she looked. "I can put the kettle on," she said, turning away from him.

Edward reached for her elbow and stopped her mid movement.

"Bella," he said softly, "I'll put the kettle on. I'll make you your cup of tea."

Bella's shoulders sagged just a little.

"It's OK to let someone help out every once in a while," Edward continued. "You're not on your own anymore. At least, not while I'm here. You don't have to do everything, you know."

Bella's exhaustion was toying with her emotions. She couldn't explain the silent tears that escaped her eyes and began to run down her cheeks.

"Just let me do this for you. You go and get ready for bed," he suggested kindly. "I'll take care of things here."

Bella took a steadying breath.

"Alright. Thank you," she said, turning to look at him and giving him a weak smile.

"Good," Edward replied, dropping her elbow.

Bella began to make her way to the bathroom, but she stopped and turned to face Edward when she heard him speak.

"Is this it?" he asked her, holding up a small yellow box.

"Yes."

"Any special instructions for these?" he asked again, looking at the sides of the box and turning it over in his hands.

Bella smiled as she watched him pull the box away to try and focus better on the fine print written on it.

"You just need to let it steep for five minutes of so, once you add the boiling water."

"Right," Edward said, looking at her and smiling. "That doesn't sound so tough."

"Have you ever made tea before?" she asked him.

"Not in recent memory," he said smiling, "but it doesn't seem like rocket science. I think I can handle it."

Bella returned his smile. Edward liked the way it brightened her face, and for a moment, he saw the Bella he had seen earlier in the night – the one who had laughed her way through most of their dinner together.

"Go get changed. It should be ready by the time you get out."

"Are you going to have one?"

"I've never tried it before."

"It might help you get some rest, too, you know. You look pretty beat, yourself."

Edward looked at his watch.

"What time is it?" Bella asked him.

"A little after three."

"Oh my God, is it?"

Edward looked up and nodded at her.

"You need to get to bed yourself," she told him. "Leave that."

"It's alright, Bella. I'll make you a cup while you get changed, and I'll head off after that."

"I'll be quick," Bella said, entering the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

"It needs five minutes," he said after her, turning to focus again on reading the instructions on the side of the box.

Bella stared at her reflection in the mirror of the bathroom.

A very tired, blotchy-eyed, makeup-streaked woman was staring back at her. She reached to grab her face wash and began to wash away what was left of her public face. When she finished, she looked yet again at her reflection. _I look like crap but at least I don't look like a crying clown anymore,_ she thought to herself. Bella changed quickly, conscious of the fact that Edward was waiting for her in the room. She donned her _Tweety Bird_ pajamas and brushed her teeth.

It wasn't until she stepped out into the room and saw Edward that she realized it probably would have been wise to put on one of those hotel robes as well.

Edward kept his back to Bella even though he heard her re-enter the room.

Bella looked down at herself and mentally shrugged. She was more covered now than she had been earlier in the evening so she quietly made her way over to Edward's side, trying to ignore the uneasiness she felt at Edward seeing her in her nightwear.

"Tea's nearly finished," Edward said, still not looking at her directly.

"Timing's perfect," Bella responded.

Edward chanced a slight sideways glance at Bella and chided himself for being so silly. _Of course she'd be decently dressed, you idiot. _"Do you take sweetener in this?" he asked, focusing back on the tea.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Not with camomile."

"OK."

"I'm glad you've made one for yourself," Bella said, noticing two cups on the counter in front of him.

"I've taken your advice and decided to give one a try."

Edward removed the tea bags from their cups and placed them in the waste basket near his feet. He turned to Bella and handed her a cup, facing her completely for the first time.

Bella, still feeling more than a little self conscious standing in front of Edward in pajamas, lowered her eyes and focused on the cup instead.

"Thank you," she said quietly, her eyes very briefly flicking to his before looking away and taking a sip. "You've done this very well for a first timer," she said, complimenting him.

"Why thank you, madam," Edward replied ceremoniously.

"Do you want to come and sit down? I know it's late, or early, as the case may be, but I need to finish this before I can go to bed."

Edward hesitated for just a moment before asking, "Are there any drinking rules for tea that I should be aware of?" he asked, following her across to the small table where the two of them had been sitting earlier.

"No, but drinking with company is always nice."

"Then I'm happy to oblige," he said, taking his seat opposite her.

They both sipped their teas in silence for a minute or two. So much had happened in the last few hours that had brought them undeniably closer, and yet, they both sensed some kind of awkwardness settle between them.

They started to speak at the same time.

"Edward, I..."

"Bella, I..."

They both laughed quietly at the coincidence.

"You first," Edward said.

Bella smiled. "I just wanted to say, thank you, for...listening to me tonight. It can't have been what you had in mind when you suggested we go to the theatre, but I want you to know that I really appreciate you being here. You've been very supportive. Thank you."

Edward smiled softly at her and looked at her over the rim of his cup of tea.

"How do you feel?"

"Honestly, kinda weird...but in a good way," she clarified. "I feel...relieved...lighter...I don't know. I don't think I can put it into words," she continued, nursing her own cup.

"That definitely wasn't an easy thing you did tonight," Edward responded, stating the obvious. "I can't imagine what it has been like for you all these years having that locked up inside of you," he said honestly and shaking his head slightly from side to side. "It must have been truly overwhelming at times."

Bella took a sip of her tea, buying herself some time to find the right words.

"It's weird, Edward. It's not in here," she said pointing to her heart, "anymore. It's there. It's out there," she continued, pushing her hand out in front of her as if she was hitting at some imaginary object between the two of them. "It's like it's not a just a part of _me_ any longer, but rather it's a _thing_..." Bella let her voice trail off, unable to grasp the words she wanted to accurately describe her feelings at the present time.

"That's a good thing, you know," Edward said, "not feeling like it's in you any longer. If it's apart from you, you can deal with it more objectively...treat it like a _thing_...something that can be dealt with."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. I can't shake the feeling that I feel lighter...like there's some kind of big hole in my chest now that wasn't there before...it's like I don't feel bound so tightly as I was before."

"They're all good things to feel, Bella. All good things."

Bella looked directly at Edward and held his gaze.

"But what about you?" she asked him. "How do you feel?"

"I'll be alright," he answered, deliberately avoiding her question.

Bella continued to regard him closely.

"You'll be alright," she parroted. She took another sip of her tea. "Does that mean you aren't OK now, but you will be?"

Edward, too, continued to sip at his tea, buying himself some time.

"That was a lot to take in."

"I know. I mean, that's what I'm getting at. How can you possibly say you're alright after everything that's just happened? After everything I just dumped in your lap?"

Edward shrugged in response, raising his eyebrows at the same time as he pulled his lips into a tight line.

"Edward, I'm so sor..."

He cut Bella off.

"Don't say it. Don't say that you're sorry," he told her sternly.

"But I am sor..."

"Bella. Don't," he repeated, putting his cup down on the table. "Do you have any idea how many times in the last month I had wished you'd just talk to me? Tell me what happened and what things were like for you? Do you have any idea how much I've wanted to know what went on? My mind has been a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions this past month, but nothing I ever thought about even came close to what you were describing to me earlier on. Nothing. I...," Edward paused, "I have no words to describe how I felt when you were telling me what happened...what you went through...what you...did..." Edward stopped talking. He was shaking his head from side to side as he recalled many of Bella's admissions from earlier that evening. He looked up at her in earnest. "I wanted to know, Bella. I wanted to understand. I wanted you to be honest with me. So many times, so...many...times," he said, closing his eyes at the memories, "I felt you were hiding things from me, deliberately keeping the truth out of my reach..." He opened his eyes to look at her, "and that was just so frustrating. Please, don't apologize for finally being brave enough to give me what I needed most...to give me the truth."

Bella was tearing up again.

"But Edward, I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to go back and live through all that again. I've spent so long and so much energy trying to put all that behind me...and then to find out that you and your wife..." Bella's voice cracked, and she coughed slightly trying to clear her throat.

Edward leaned forward on his elbows and pulled his hands through his hair at the mention of Tanya and their history.

"I'm just so sorry that I..." Bella tried to continue, but she couldn't – not because of the tears she was determined to hold back this time, but because she couldn't bring herself to say those words again.

"Bella, I don't want to go back over it all again. I just can't right now."

"I know. Me either. I'm s..." Bella stopped herself midsentence when Edward looked up at her abruptly and fixed her with a steady gaze.

He took a calming breath and reached for her hands on the table. He held one of hers in each of his and gently rubbed his thumbs across the backs of her hands.

"I know. I know you are," he said quietly.

Bella nodded.

She spoke a moment later.

"I had no idea about your story," Bella started, wanting to speak her mind but trying to choose her words very carefully so as not to upset either of them any further. "I've been so lost in my own hurts with all of this that I hadn't even considered you and your story. I've realized tonight that the whole time you've been trying to get to know me and Dan, I've learned next to nothing about you. I'm sor..." she began, but stopped herself this time. "I need to change that. You're Dan's father, and he needs to know as much about you as you're prepared to share."

"I'm pretty much an open book, Bella. There's not too much of interest here."

"Oh, I don't believe that for a minute. You're a wonderful, fascinating person, Edward. You're smart and funny and caring and selfless. There is a lot to know about you, and it's about time I stopped thinking just about me and more about you and how you're faring in all of this. I...," Bella paused as a slow smile crept across her face. "I've really had my head up my ass this whole time," she finished, and Edward returned her smile with one of his own.

"You've had reason to," he responded generously.

"No, I've been the opposite of what I should have been. I regret that deeply now."

"We're getting there, Bella. Little by little, we're getting there."

"Yes, we are."

Bella and Edward smiled at each other, still holding each other's hands, neither considered letting go.

"You need to get some sleep."

"We both do."

"Lucky for me, my bed is right next door."

"Mine's closer."

"Lucky you. Cute pajamas by the way."

Bella looked down at her sleeves.

"Another part of my Christmas gift from Dan."

"You have a thing for _Tweety Bird_?"

"Dan had a thing for _Tweety Bird_," Bella said laughing. "He could never say it right. He saw these in the shops and thought of me, or so he said," she continued.

"Your son loves you very much."

"Our son, Edward," she said, smiling at him, "and yes he does. I'm very lucky, even if sometimes I believed that I never deserved it."

"You're a wonderful mother, Bella. You deserve it and so much more."

She smiled tentatively at him. "Thank you."

"Well," Edward said, finally letting go of Bella's hands. "I believe it is time for us to call it a night."

"I think maybe you're right," Bella replied, pushing herself up from the table, mirroring Edward's actions.

"Do you think you'll sleep well, now?" Edward asked, looking down at her.

"I think I'll sleep better now that I've gotten to talk to you a bit more." She looked at him, the moment turning serious again. "I mean it, Edward. Dan's lucky to have you in his life now. He's not too old for a father. He's got a lot of living left to do, and he'd be lucky to have you help guide him through things."

Edward smiled at Bella warmly.

"I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say it."

Without thinking, Edward reached up and gently cupped the back of Bella's head with his hand, caressing her hair. "It's wonderful that you have. Thank you."

Bella, also without hesitation, stepped forward and embraced Edward, pulling him into a tight hug. He was momentarily taken aback but quickly returned the embrace, resting his cheek against the top of her hair.

"Thank you, Edward. For everything. Thank you so very much."

"You're welcome," he whispered back to her as he gently swayed her in their embrace.

Pulling away from her slightly, he held her by the shoulders and looked Bella in the eye.

"I'm in awe of you, you know. You're one brave lady, and I'm so glad that you're the mother of my son."

Bella couldn't speak. She just pulled herself back into his embrace and tried to use her arms to express the depth of the emotions she was feeling. She felt warm and safe while encased in Edward's arms. It felt right and a natural place to be.

"It's time for bed brave lady," Edward said quietly, finally breaking their hug. "I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Breakfast. Right," Bella said, regrouping.

"Do you want me to stop by and walk you to breakfast? If you don't think you'll feel up to it, you can always skip it."

"No, I wouldn't do that. How about one of us calls the other if we haven't spoken already by eight thirty. Just in case we both sleep in and don't wake up in time."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Alright."

"But what if we're both still asleep at eight thirty?" Edward asked.

"Then I guess the kids will come wake us up at some point once they realize we're not there."

"Wouldn't live that down, would we?"

"I'd think not."

"I'll speak to you in the morning then."

"In a couple of hours from now."

"Yes."

"Goodnight Edward."

"Good morning, Bella," he replied before reaching down and kissing her softly on her cheek. "Sleep well."

"You too," she replied, softly placing her hand on his forearm and returning the gesture.

They each smiled at the other before Edward turned and let himself out of the room, with a last look at Bella as he closed the door behind him.

Bella crossed to the door and latched the safety chain before turning to walk towards her bed and pulling back the covers.

She was startled by a soft yet persistent knocking on her door.

Looking through the peep hole, she saw Edward standing there. She opened the door to see him standing and looking just a tad embarrassed.

"I've left my coat here with my key in it," he explained quietly in response to Bella's quizzical look.

"Oh! " she replied, leaving the door ajar as she moved back into the room and noticed Edward's coat draped across the back of the loveseat. She went to collect it and turned to take it back to Edward only to notice him dart quickly into her room and quietly close the door.

"Ssshhh," he whispered to her, putting his finger to his lips.

Bella gave Edward yet another quizzical look.

"The kids," Edward pointed towards the door while whispering quietly.

"They're just getting home?" Bella asked just as quietly while walking toward him as he peered through the peephole in time to see Dan and Cassie, along with Chris and Sammy stumble up the corridor past Bella's room. The noise they were making, however, couldn't be missed.

"Sounds like they've had quite the night out," Bella whispered behind Edward's back as he crouched down to look through the peephole yet again.

"I guess we won't be the only ones tired at breakfast. Chris is still with them."

"Chris? Really? Where will he stay?"

Edward turned to look at Bella and just raised his eyebrows.

"Sammy?" Bella said a little louder than she'd expected.

"Ssshhh," Edward reminded her.

"Oh they won't hear us over the noise they're making," she admonished him, albeit a little more quietly while hitting him playfully on the shoulder.

Edward returned to looking out the peephole. They both strained to hear any further noise coming from the hall.

"Have they gone?" Bella asked him.

"I think so, but I can't see anything."

"Are you brave enough to open the door and see?"

"You do it. I don't want to have to explain why I'm hiding in your room at three thirty in the morning."

"Good point. Move," Bella instructed, pushing him gently out of the way while handing him his coat.

Carefully, Bella opened the door to her room and stealthily looked out into the hallway. All was quiet.

"You're in the clear," she said, opening the door wider.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you big scaredy cat," Bella said, laughing quietly at Edward's worried facial expression.

"I've never had to hide from my son and niece before," Edward said. "Give me a break. I'm new at this."

"I've never had to do it before either, and that excuse is going to get pretty old, pretty quick," Bella responded, pushing him through the door.

"But I am new at this," he protested.

"Baptism by fire. Get used to it."

"I'll say. See you in the morning."

"See you soon," Bella responded, smiling.

Edward was standing in the hallway, returning her smile with one of his own.

"Hurry up!" she reminded him. "You don't want to get caught out there."

"Right. Later," Edward whispered back, giving her a wink before turning and going to his own room across the hall.

Bella held her door open and waited until he had unlocked his own and stepped inside. They both smiled conspiratorially at each other before closing their respective doors.

_That would have taken some explaining_, Bella thought to herself, smiling like a teenager as she made her way to her bed.

_Geez. That was close_, Edward reflected as he made his way into his room, throwing his coat over the back of a chair. _How the hell would I have explained that?_

That night, both Bella and Edward settled into bed with smiles on their faces thinking over the events of the last few minutes they were together. Each was revelling in their deepening friendship. The evening they had spent together had been a momentous one. They had both ended up with emotional battle scars that would take time to heal and yet, each instinctively knew that in the other, they had found someone they could trust implicitly. And despite sharing such intense and emotionally painful memories that evening, Edward and Bella's new found trust in each other was their most important connection to date; one would prove to be a stepping stone to happiness for the both of them.

* * *

Breakfast turned out to be a rather quiet affair – at least, at first.

As promised, Bella called Edward just before eight thirty. She's set her alarm for eight fifteen and had taken a couple of minutes to drag her wearied mind into semi-consciousness before calling Edward to ensure he was awake.

He hadn't been. Events from the night before, the good and the not so good, had replayed in his mind and he'd found it difficult to get to sleep. It was nearly 5am before he drifted off into a restless, light sleep.

Edward had been grateful for Bella's wakeup call and he'd met her outside her room just before nine looking entirely presentable but definitely weary.

Bella hadn't commented on his appearance and she'd returned his platonic morning kiss on the cheek with genuine warmth and affection. She was relieved beyond words that Edward hadn't berated her or walked out on her last night when she'd finally let go her darkest secrets from her past. She realized she owed this man so much, not just for the night before, but for the way he had conducted himself since they had become reacquainted and she was determined to start making up for that today.

They had chatted amiably on their way to breakfast and settled at their table, ordering coffee while waiting for the kids, as they had become collectively known, to join them. That took a while. It was nearly twenty past nine before they stumbled in looking rather fatigued themselves. Bella and Edward pretended to be surprised to see Chris still with them but Sammy had been quick to point out that Chris had spent the night on the spare bed in her room. She wished to dispel any innuendo before it started.

"He didn't even get changed. He just flopped on the bed and passed out," she said in a huff.

"What would you want me to do? Strip down to my boxers in front of you?" Chris retorted.

"Well...no," replied a flustered Sammy, "but you literally collapsed face down on the bed and didn't move."

"That's what you think. I got up later and used the bathroom once you were asleep."

"Oh."

"Didn't know that, did ya?"

"No."

"And you didn't even notice that I left the toilet lid down for ya, did ya?"

"Eww...breakfast time! Too much information!"

"Just don't go making it sound like I'm some inconsiderate idiot. I'm not."

"Alright!"

"So I can see a late night has done wonders for everyone's sense of humour this morning," Edward interrupted to stop the bickering.

"We weren't that late," protested Dan.

"You think?" Bella interjected.

Dan and Cassie both looked over toward Bella.

"You were rather noisy when you stumbled home last night," Bella explained.

"Did you hear us?" Cassie asked, sounding worried.

"I think most of the floor heard you," Edward said, supporting Bella.

"You heard us, too?"

Edward and Bella exchanged very brief glances.

"Hmm mmm."

"Oh, sorry," Cassie said, feeling abashed.

"Just take it a bit quieter next time," Edward suggested to Dan with a wink.

"Shall do," he said, giving his mother an apologetic smile.

It was about half an hour later, while the group were still seated at the table that discussion turned toward the day's future activities.

"So what are you all planning on doing today?" Edward asked.

"We thought we might go skiing," Cassie answered.

"Really?"

"There was all that fresh snow last night and the day is meant to be beautiful so we thought we could hit McIntyre's in time for lunch and ski the afternoon," Dan explained. "Do you want to come?" he asked his parents, looking between the both of them.

"Oh, I'm not sure I'm up for an afternoon of skiing, love," Bella answered. "That's a little bit too energetic for how I'm feeling, I'm afraid."

"Do you ski, Bella?" Edward asked her.

"She's not too bad," Dan said, replying for her. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"I'm really not up for it today, love," she said, not wanting to put a downer on the day but knowing that she would be way too tired to take on a full afternoon's skiing. "But you should all go," she said, directing her comment to Edward. "Don't let me stop you."

"What would you do instead?" Edward asked her.

"Oh, I don't know. I might even go wander around the Science Center. We've got an excursion planned for there towards the end of the semester so it might be a good chance to check it over."

"Would you like some company?" he asked her.

"Sure, if you want to. But why don't you go skiing with the kids? McIntyre's is as good as any around here. Don't let me spoil your afternoon."

Edward frowned. "There'll be another chance to ski this week, won't there?" he asked the group.

"I suppose we could do a night ski, they're fun," Dan said. "I do have to work this week, so I won't be able to join you until later."

"See?" Edward said, looking at Bella. "We can ski again later in the week if we want to. The Science Center sounds like it could be interesting, if you don't mind me tagging along, that is."

"No. I don't mind. Not at all."

"Good. That's settled then. You can all go ski and Bella and I will have a quieter afternoon checking out all things sciency."

"Sciency?" Cassie queried.

Edward shrugged.

"Well, will we meet up for dinner then?" Sammy asked the group.

"I can't. I'll have to head off after skiing, but I can catch up with you all during the week and maybe hit the town again one night," Chris said.

"Sounds good," Dan said, catching his eye.

"What about dinner tonight then?" Sammy repeated her earlier unanswered query.

"How about you call us when you're done skiing and we make arrangements then. There's plenty of places around here we can grab a bite and you'll want to come home and change after you've been skiing anyway," Bella suggested.

"Good point," Cassie said.

"Sounds like a plan," Edward said.

"So are we all done?" Dan said, sitting back and rubbing his stomach. "I'm kinda keen to work this lot off."

"Maybe if you didn't eat so much you wouldn't have to," Bella chided him.

"Growing boy, Mom."

"You stopped growing at eighteen."

"You were this tall at eighteen?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. Head and shoulders above some kids in my class I was. It had its advantages and disadvantages."

"What were some of the advantages?"

"I could always see at the football."

Edward smiled in response to that.

"Disadvantages?" Cassie asked him.

"He'd get caught out easily if he did something wrong. There's no hiding in crowds when you're that tall," Bella answered for him.

Dan smiled sheepishly.

"What did you get caught out doing?" Cassie asked him.

"Never you mind," he told her.

"What was it?" she pestered.

Dan and Bella exchanged knowing looks. Bella challenged him silently to admit to one of his teenage foibles.

Dan smiled and met his mother's challenged – albeit a little embarrassed.

"The louvers in the girls' change rooms might have been within easy reach for me," he said.

"Oh, you didn't!" Cassie exclaimed.

Edward laughed.

Bella smiled wryly.

"That's terrible!" Cassie continued.

"But funny," Chris added, laughing out loud.

"Not if you're one of the girls in the change rooms," Sammy quipped.

"And not if you're his mother who got called up to see the Assistant Principal."

Dan ducked his head, remembering the verbal lashing he received after that particular stunt.

"How much trouble did you get in?" Cassie asked him.

"At school or with Mom?" Dan asked.

"Both," Cassie said, laughing cause she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"School? A week's suspension. Mom? Two months allowance and double study time."

"And..." Bella added.

"And a two thousand word essay on the rights of and respect for women."

"From your school?"

"No...from Mom."

"Oh..." Edward was laughing so hard he had to wipe tears from the corner of his eyes.

"Well, he had to do something with all that extra study time," Bella said, justifying herself.

"I think that is priceless!" Edward said still laughing.

Everyone was laughing, Dan and Bella included.

"I was a pretty cool Mom though," Bella added, wiping at her own tears.

"How so?" Edward asked.

"I also bought him an anatomy book."

Bella's last comment almost put a stop to the whole morning's conversation. Everyone was laughing so hard that even the remaining diners from the tables around them looked on entertained.

"Buddy, with a mom like that, I'm surprised you didn't become a doctor," Chris laughed.

"Are you kidding me? After some of the things I saw in that book? No way!"

"Pity you didn't know Edward then, Dan," Chris piped up again. "He would have at least bought you girlie magazines."

"I thought about it," Bella said, sparing with Chris one on one, "but the girls in those things aren't correctly proportioned. No real woman looks like that."

Edward had his elbows on the table and his head in his hands laughing so hard that shoulders were shaking.

Bella was laughing right along with him, her eyes bright and happy.

Dan shrugged his shoulders sipped at his yet to be finished coffee.

Cassie leaned over and gave Dan a kiss on his cheek.

Sammy and Chris were in quiet conversation sharing a private joke, no doubt at Dan's expense.

To everyone around them, their group looked like a typical family enjoying a typical holiday breakfast.

But to Edward and Bella, this was something they had both spent most of their adult lives wanting to experience – the simple joys of family life. The thing was neither of them knew just how much the other had always craved it.

Bella smiled at Edward as he sat back and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes. He hadn't laughed that hard in a very long time, and as his eyes met Bella's, she noticed that he looked relaxed and happy. Bella's smile widened even further.

"I'm glad you find it all so amusing," she joked with him.

"You've got to admit, it's a pretty funny story," he replied.

"It is..." Bella agreed, nodding her head. "But at the time..."

Edward smiled warmly at Bella, and for the very first time, she noticed the creases that formed around his eyes when he smiled. They were very appealing and added character to his face.

"Two thousand words..." Edward's voice trailed off. "That's a lot of respect."

"_That_ was the point," Bella answered.

"A point obviously well made."

"So... we might make a move on then," Dan said, unaware that he was interrupting his parent's conversation.

Edward and Bella both faced their son.

"You're heading off now?" Edward asked.

"Probably in an hour or so. We've got to rent ski gear for the girls."

"Have fun," Bella said, smiling at Cassie.

"We will."

"Don't forget to give us a call when you're done," Bella reminded them.

"Edward," Chris said, standing and extending his hand, reaching across the table toward him. "I'll see you during the week no doubt."

"Absolutely. Enjoy yourself today, Chris. Nice to see you again."

"Plan to. See you later, Bella."

"OK, Chris," Bella replied, smiling at him.

"Will you two head off soon?" Dan asked, looking between Edward and Bella.

"In a while," Bella answered. "There's no rush."

"Are you OK, Mom?" Dan asked Bella, noticing for the first time how tired she looked.

"Fine, love. Really. I'm just a little too tired for skiing, but I'm fine."

"Look after her, hey Edward?" Dan asked.

"Will do, Dan."

"Alright. Have a good day then, we'll see you later," Dan said, bidding them farewell.

"Bye."

"Enjoy yourselves."

Edward and Bella watched as the foursome moved out of the cafe and into the lobby, both sipping on their coffees.

Finally, Edward turned toward Bella.

"That was one of the best mornings I have had in recent memory," he said, smiling broadly.

Bella returned his smile.

"You seem very relaxed this morning," she said. "I don't think I've seen you smile as much as you have this morning."

"I don't know," Edward said, "I seem to recall smiling a lot last night at the restaurant and again at the theatre."

Bella's smile faded just marginally, and Edward instinctively knew that she was thinking about events after the theatre.

"I wouldn't swap _any part_ of last night with anyone…ever," Edward said, wanting to reassure her.

Bella closed her eyes in response to what Edward said. The mood at their table had changed significantly in a matter of seconds.

Edward reached across the table to touch her hand.

"Don't go closing yourself off from me," he warned her. "Bella. Look at me."

Bella opened her eyes and looked directly into his. His eyes were boring fixedly into hers. There was an intensity there she had never seen before.

"We are both better people because of what we shared last night. Don't you dare go back into wherever it was that you used to hide. Your story is safe with me," he reminded her. "I will never break your confidence, and I will never betray you. I am your friend, Bella, and you've entrusted me with your secret. This is where it will stay," he said, indicating his chest, "forever."

Bella tilted her head to the side, her eyes instantly brimming with unshed tears.

"No more tears, either," Edward said, "not unless they're happy ones," he clarified.

A smile toyed at the edge of Bella's lips. Edward wanted to see it return completely.

"Come on," he said standing and pulling her hand with him. "We have a Sciency thing to see."

Bella smiled wider.

"It could be really quite uninteresting, you know."

"Rubbish. Science is very interesting to scientists."

"Are you a scientist now, Mr Cullen?

"Not at all, Ms Swan," he said as he waited for her to gather her bag from the table. "But as a little boy, I once toyed with the idea."

"You caught caterpillars in bug catchers, did you?" Bella teased.

"How ever did you guess?" Edward asked, pretending to be shocked.

"Just lucky, I suppose," Bella said as Edward placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her though the tables towards the exit of the cafe.

They walked side by side towards the elevator.

"What time do you want to leave?" Edward asked.

"Any time you like really. We don't have to watch the clock, and the kids won't be back for hours."

"True. How far away is it?"

"The Center?" Bella questioned. "Not far. Half a mile or so, I guess," she answered.

"Will we walk?"

"Sounds like a good idea to me. The weather's nice, and it might help me still fit into my clothes by the end of the week if I can exercise off some of this food we're eating."

"You look fine to me, Bella," Edward said, looking at her as he stood aside to let her enter the elevator.

"I won't stay that way if I keep eating as much as I am at the moment," she responded as she pressed the button for their floor.

Edward leaned back against the elevator wall and crossed his legs in front of him. "We'll have to make sure we take a walk together everyday then, while I'm here."

"I'll probably not be able to keep up with you. Your legs go on forever. Look at them. Your hip bones line up with my waist."

"I'll shorten my stride, if you can't keep up," he joked with her, playing along.

"That might help," Bella laughed.

"Happy to oblige. How long will you need to get ready?" Edward asked as the elevator stopped at their floor.

"Can you give me half an hour? I kind of left in a rush this morning, and I've got a few things I'd like to straighten up," Bella said, stepping out into the corridor.

"No problem. I should probably check my emails anyway. How about I pick you up in thirty minutes?"

"Pick me up?" Bella questioned, laughing.

"Stop by your door?" Edward corrected.

"That sounds more like it."

"By your door it is then. Thirty minutes."

"It's a date."

"Indeed."

They stopped outside Bella's room, and Edward waited while Bella unlocked her door and pushed it open.

"Don't be late," he warned her before turning to unlock his own door.

"I'll do my best," she answered.

"See you soon," he said, looking at her over his shoulder as he stepped inside his room.

"I'm looking forward to it," Bella whispered, smiling softly to herself before she closed her door.

_Me, too_, Edward responded silently. _Me too._

* * *

_AN: _Thank you to G, for without her, this chapter would have been far less than acceptable. She pushed me with this one and I am truly grateful. It took quite a while for my head to get back into the game after the last chapter and my first efforts at this one were severely substandard.

Thanks also to L. She is finishing up her latest story and still finds the time to read my drafts and question me and makes me think things through.

A Cullen Wannabe has written a review of TTTB over at The Writer's Coffee Shop. Please go check it out. She is a respected writer herself, and for her to review this fic has been a real thrill. The link is in my profile.

Also, I have written a non-TTTB related oneshot for the FicsforNashville fundraiser. An online friend of mine has been affected the flooding in that area and I wrote it to show support for her and her real life friends. Bella is an uppity movie star...and Edward is her busboy...who teaches her a valuable lesson. The link for this fundraiser, to instructions on how you can participate, is also in my profile over here on FF.

Thank you to whomever else is pimping my fic out there. I am hopeless at self-promotion, and am very grateful to those of you who suggest to others that they come along on this journey.

Until next time - probably in a fortnight (I have guests staying this weekend, and my twin's birthdays as well as a school fair to get through in the next two weeks after that. Things are a tad busy at the moment.)

Leisa


	36. Chapter 36

Here you go folks...

A week ahead of schedule...my kids didn't really need to eat this week...so all's good! And I am fail at review replies for the last chapter. Sorry...it's either get this chapter to you today or do review replies and not get this one out until Monday after my crazy upcoming weekend. I hope I'm forgiven.

SM owns twilight. This story, however, is mine.

* * *

**Chapter 36 – Relaxing into You**

It was amazing to both Edward and Bella just how easily their little group formed a routine over the next few days.

Each morning, they would gather for breakfast, albeit a little earlier than they had on the weekend. Eating together before Dan would begrudgingly leave for work, Edward, Bella and the girls would take on the role of tourists for the remainder of the day. Some days they stayed closer to Manchester and visited some of the local sites, while on other days, they traveled farther afield. One such day, Bella drove them north to Concord and then up to Lake Winnipesaukee, and on another, she drove them east to Hampton Beach thinking that the girls would like the opportunity to check out the coastline on the opposite side of the country from where they lived.

Initially, Bella had been a little worried about spending so much time with the younger two women. She had wondered if she would be able to keep them satisfactorily entertained while Dan was at work, but her worries had been unnecessary. Bella found that she really enjoyed Cassie and Sammy's company, and she truly appreciated the opportunity to get to know the girl who had won her son's heart.

Cassie, Bella noted, was a lovely young woman. She was polite and respectful, and didn't treat Bella like she was her boyfriend's tiresome, middle-aged mother. Bella also really loved watching the interactions between Cassie and Sammy. What Dan had said was true. They did interact more like sisters than cousins, and despite their differing personalities, it was obvious that they knew each other intimately and cared for one another deeply.

The work week also brought about other benefits. There were many occasions when the two girls went off by themselves to shop or explore, leaving Bella and Edward alone. In fact, Bella and Edward spent many hours of the week together, just the two of them. They would visit museums or coffee shops or galleries, and spent considerable time deep in conversation sharing stories along with their likes and dislikes. Their time together was not infused with awkwardness or discomfort. The more they got to know each other, the more they relaxed in each other's presence. They were becoming good friends. It was obvious to everyone, especially Dan.

Dan was secretly thrilled that his parents were getting along so well. He had given considerable thought to what the future might hold for them all if Edward and Bella had been unable to bridge the gap created since their briefly shared history. It relieved Dan to see just how comfortable his parents were becoming around each other. His proudest moment to date came when the girls and his parents had come to visit him at work during the lunch hour, and he had introduced Edward and Bella to his boss and work colleagues as _his parents_ – the first time he had ever used the term. In Dan's young life, Bella had always been introduced to people as "my mother". Bella and Dan had only just become accustomed to using the term "father" when speaking of Edward to other people. So, to use "my parents" for the first time ever was a defining moment in his life.

It was for Edward and Bella, too. They'd both felt it. When Dan had introduced them, Bella had become acutely aware of Edward's physical closeness. She'd been standing between Dan and Edward in the office area, and Edward had moved slightly behind Bella, intimately placing his left hand against the small of her back to gently usher her forward to meet and greet Dan's boss. Bella had shaken hands with him fully aware of Edward's hand resting gently against her back. He didn't remove it either when he, in turn, extended his right hand to formally acknowledge Dan's employer. Bella had looked up at Edward and noticed how he'd beamed with pride at being introduced as Dan's father. It was a moment all three of them were unlikely to ever forget.

Edward and Bella also spent an evening together at the movies. Chris, as promised, had stopped by one night, and the four younger ones had gone out partying, leaving Edward and Bella with a night to themselves. They'd gone out to dinner and a movie, and as they had strolled back to the hotel later that night and then shared a late night coffee, they'd ended up discussing the demise of Edward and Tanya's marriage.

Bella had been shocked to learn that Edward and Tanya had never told their families about the miscarriages. The first, apparently, had happened quite early in the first trimester before they had even announced their pregnancy to anyone. The second time around, conscious of what happened before, they had decided to not tell anyone about the pregnancy until they'd passed that crucial timeframe. Again, it never got that far.

It was after the second miscarriage that Edward and Tanya started visiting doctors and specialists, all the while keeping their painful and difficult journey private. The specialists determined that while becoming pregnant was not the issue, Tanya's ability to carry a pregnancy to term was. There were a number of tests and investigative procedures undertaken, and when they'd gotten pregnant for the third time, they'd once again kept the pregnancy secret. This time, Tanya carried the pregnancy to its fourteenth week. They had believed they'd achieved a viable pregnancy and were organizing a family barbeque to announce the good news the following weekend when she'd begun to bleed. There was nothing that could have been done to save the baby.

They'd both been devastated, and Edward was adamant that they shouldn't try for any more. He and Tanya had fought about the possibility of another pregnancy. It was a terrible time in their marriage. In the end, Edward admitted to Bella that, unbeknownst to Tanya, he was actively trying to avoid a pregnancy, resorting to all kinds of wives' tales and bar stories to lessen the likelihood. Tanya, however, was determined to try again, and short of avoiding sex entirely, wearing a condom or being secretly sterilized, Edward had little chance of success.

While all of this had been going on, Edward and Tanya's marriage was slowly disintegrating. Hindsight being what it is, Edward told Bella he now understood that there had been cracks and fissures in their marriage since the beginning, and that the stress associated with the failed pregnancies had just served to open them even wider.

By the time of their fourth miscarriage at thirteen weeks, there was little left of their original intimacy to salvage their marriage. Edward knew he'd failed her and their marriage, but he had no idea how to fix it. Not only was Tanya trying to come to terms with her own body's betrayal, but she was forced to deal with a husband whose own grief made him distant and aloof. It was too much for her to deal with, and it was with deep pain and regret that Edward watched an emotionally distraught Tanya pack her bags and leave.

Edward had also told Bella that it usually took considerable effort for him to be a talker. He explained that he'd always been an introverted kind of guy and that talking about his problems with anyone, ever, had never been easy. Instead of being completely honest with Tanya about his concerns during their marriage, let alone during their failed pregnancies, he had withdrawn and pulled away from her emotionally and physically. He accurately guessed that was why he never found it challenging to be on his own even now, years later. It wasn't that he wasn't a social person; it was just that he preferred to keep to himself. He found it a hard habit to break, and that was why the last month had been so draining for him. Despite his desire to get to know his new found son, it took a determined effort to put himself out there emotionally with people whom he didn't know. It wasn't something he was used to doing.

Listening to Edward retell his story, Bella realized again just how much effort he'd been putting into building a relationship with not only Dan, but her, too. She felt humbled that he'd made such an effort to move out of his comfort zone, and she'd told him so before finally leaning forward and giving him a warm and affectionate kiss on the cheek, offering him her heartfelt thanks.

It was that moment Bella thought about as she lay in her bed in her hotel room on Thursday evening. It was after ten, and Dan and the girls had gone out for drinks with some of Dan's work colleagues. Bella had decided to go to bed early knowing that the following evening they would be up well into the wee hours of the morning, seeing as they were all traveling into Boston for First Night celebrations to welcome in the New Year.

Bella had tried to read her book but found it too upsetting. Having not had much opportunity for quiet time during the week, she was still reading _The Time Traveler's Wife,_ and the section she was up to was telling of the characters' own struggles with multiple miscarriages. She had closed the book, too upset to continue, and had cried for Edward and Tanya and their lost children.

Looking for some form of distraction, Bella finally resorted to watching television from the comfort of her bed. As the shows flickered on the screen, she paid them little or no attention. She was thinking about Edward and all he'd lost, and about what having Dan in his life now meant to him.

She was also thinking about herself. During the previous few days, she'd come to realize that she'd begun to look forward to her alone time with Edward. She felt like they were kindred souls on a shared journey of discovery. She felt comfortable with him – almost inexplicably so - and this confused her.

Bella was still seeing Steve, socially, and on occasion, they continued to go out on what could be best described as dates. Yet, Bella finally admitted to herself what she had known for weeks – she had begun to withdraw from him. She realized that it had started to happen around the same time that Edward entered her life. Bella still hadn't told Steve a word about Edward and his relationship to Dan. Prior to this week, Bella had told herself the reason she didn't was because she believed Edward would be a distant figure in her life. He would be Dan's father, but he'd be living on the other side of the country and, as such, would have little or no impact on her.

She now appreciated that wouldn't be the case at all.

After she'd told Edward her deepest and darkest secrets, and he'd been nothing short of incredible in the way he'd supported her the previous Saturday night, Bella had continued to build an emotionally intimate friendship with him. She knew his favorite ice cream and his most embarrassing childhood memory, and he knew hers – courtesy of those questions from the restaurant that Edward had fished out once again a day or so ago.

With clarity, Bella realized that Edward was going to play a much bigger part in her life than she had ever considered. Edward had, in the space of the last few days, become her closest confidante.

Bella related easily to Edward's confession that he preferred his own company to that of a large social network. Bella was the same. Over the years, she had developed friendships – Jessica and Mike were perfect examples – but she also now understood that she'd always kept a part of herself hidden from everyone. That was until just a few days ago.

Edward didn't know everything about Bella, but he knew her better than any other person, and that thought made her smile. She liked it. She felt confident that Edward would remain her friend for many years to come, which was important to her, especially now that they were sharing a son.

_Sharing a son._

Bella understood just how far she'd come in the last few weeks. Initially, the thought of sharing Dan with Edward had scared her. She'd never had to share Dan before. Never had to think about another person's expectations and desires with respect to her son. Bella now realized that Dan was no longer hers to share. He was his own man, and she now had to share him with not only his father but also with the incredible young woman he had decided to love and share his life with.

This was to be Bella's next big challenge, or so she thought. She was going to have to let Dan go to move on with the rest of his life, and she with hers.

Little did Bella know just how completely her life was about to change.

~~~~ooOOoo~~~~

Edward had also retired early for the evening. He, too, was looking forward to catching an early night. Since arriving in Manchester very late on Christmas Day, he'd had several late nights. Those in and of themselves may not have been an issue for him, but combined with the emotional rollercoaster of the last month or so, as well as the week's events, Edward was beginning to feel fatigue take its toll on him.

He'd decided that he would check his email before retiring to watch a movie, so he settled down with his laptop and a neat scotch from the mini-bar in his room. With his glasses perched on his nose, he read the twenty or so emails that had arrived since his last login and responded as needed. Among them were two from Alice and one from Rosalie. Both his sisters were wondering how the week was going.

_How was the week going?_ He wondered. _Better than I could have anticipated._

Edward sat back and rubbed the back of his neck. _Would his sisters be happy enough to receive an identical email?_ _Too bad_, he thought to himself, and he began to type.

* * *

TO: Rosalie McCarty; Alice Whitlock

FROM: Edward Cullen

SUBJECT: How's it going?

DATE: Thurs 30th Dec 2009

Dear Rose and Alice,

It was great to get your emails. Rest assured, everything here is going fine.

The kids are having a great time. Chris, the guy who traveled through Australia with Dan and the girls, is here quite a bit, too. The four of them go out regularly.

Bella is good. She says hello.

Yes, Alice. Bella is going to come to Cassie's 21st. Not sure when she is flying out. She has to work that out with her boss to see if she can get some time off. She was very touched and a little embarrassed by your grand gesture (I told you she would be btw).

Dan and Cassie are having a great time together. Sammy isn't being left out. They include her in just about everything.

Bella has taken us on some wonderful sightseeing trips in the last few days.

Tomorrow night we are all off to First Night Celebrations in Boston. It's about an hour from here. I think we're using public transport. Not really sure come to think of it.

Bella and I went to the theatre the other night, and we've seen that new George Clooney film, too.

Hope you are all well.

See you when we get back.

Edward

* * *

Edward sat back and read the email, checking for typos before he clicked Send.

Once it had gone, he re-read it again.

He sat back, lost in thought.

There was so much more going on this week than what he had let on to his sisters.

So far, the week had been nothing short of amazing.

Edward couldn't help but be more and more impressed with Dan the more time he spent with him. He was a responsible and capable young man; a credit to his mother and a loving companion to his niece. Cassie was lucky to have found him.

They both were.

Edward considered himself very fortunate to have a son who not only wanted to know him but also wanted him to be a part of his life.

He could ask for nothing more, and the very idea of a long future with this young man in it was like seeing his deepest desire come to life.

_How much life can change in a few short weeks_, he mused to himself while sipping on his scotch.

A chime from his computer brought him out of his musings.

Alice had replied to his email.

* * *

TO: Edward Cullen

FROM: Alice Whitlock

CC: Rosalie McCarty

SUBJECT: Re: How's it going?

DATE: Thurs 30th Dec 2009

Dearest Brother

Your eloquence on the finer details of your week away leaves me breathless.

You should have sent a postcard. I might have gotten more from the picture.

Alice

* * *

Edward smirked at his sister's short but pointed reply.

He adjusted his glasses and typed an equally short response.

* * *

TO: Alice Whitlock

FROM: Edward Cullen

CC: Rosalie McCarty

SUBJECT: Re: Re: How's it going?

DATE: Thurs 30th Dec 2009

Dearest sister,

The postcards from here at the moment are mostly of snow. Plenty of white. Not much else.

Beautiful on the surface but even more so underneath.

Edward

* * *

Edward knew that Alice would have absolutely no idea what that message meant. But Edward did.

He sent the email and then sat back in quiet contemplation. His message was very accurate. Not only did it summarize the events of this week but spoke of the beauty found below the surface as his relationships with Dan and Bella deepened. He thought back over some of his most treasured memories of this week: He and Dan sharing a drink, man-to-man at the bar; Cassie and Dan being so caring and demonstrative with each other; Bella trusting him and opening up to him so completely; and Dan calling him "my father" when introducing him to his boss.

Being introduced to an unrelated third-party as a father had rendered him almost speechless. Thank goodness for common courtesy and standard protocol in such situations. Edward had been able to respond automatically while his mind came to terms with what had just happened. He remembered reaching for Bella during the exchange and resting his hand gently on her back, connecting with her at such an important time in their lives. At that moment, more than any other time, he felt they were truly becoming a family – albeit a unique one. Dan had accepted him completely into his life. He was a father.

Edward removed his glasses and wiped at the tears that had formed with those recollections.

_How can I explain that in an email?_ _It's just not possible to put that kind of emotion into words._

Edward closed down his laptop before Alice had a chance to respond to his cryptic reply. He moved over to the bed and stretched out on it, collecting his book from the side table, and settled in to read.

Half an hour later and only a dozen or so pages turned, Edward put the book away and took his glasses off. He stretched his arms before placing both hands under his head and looked up towards the ceiling.

His book hadn't been able to hold his attention tonight. His mind kept drifting to alternative answers to his sisters' original emails.

He smiled as he recalled some of his conversations with Bella. Truth be told, prior to this holiday, he had been more than a little anxious about spending so much time with her. His anxiety had proved unfounded. Bella had finally let her guard down and trusted him like she'd never trusted another. He felt privileged to have earned such trust and would be forever grateful that she had chosen him to unburden her soul. He suspected Bella still had a long way to go before she could say that she had completely put the past behind her, knowing instinctively that she would need continued support over time as she worked through her emotions. And he was prepared to be that support person for her. He was drawn to her. He couldn't explain how or why, but he was.

It seemed natural to him now to link her arm in his as they walked along or to offer her a chaste kiss goodnight as they parted for the day. He also had to admit that he looked forward to spending time alone with Bella each day, even going so far as to try and orchestrate extra time together. Emmett had been right. Traveling with two young ladies could be physically exhausting. Edward relished the time he and Bella could just sit and relax with a coffee during the day.

Edward also looked forward to their walks – more like strolls – together each afternoon before meeting the younger ones for dinner. It suited all of them for varying reasons. It gave Cassie and Dan some private time after he came home from work each day, and Sammy never seemed unhappy for some extra pampering time, having ordered several massages and beauty treatments during their stay for that particular time of day.

On their walks, Edward and Bella would talk effortlessly about a whole range of things. Edward found that he had spoken more with Bella than he had with any other person in recent history. He lamented that in just a few days he and the girls would be leaving for home, and he would have to content himself with emails and phone calls at odd hours working between their schedules. Edward knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would continue his conversations with Bella. They had only just scratched the surface over the last few days, and he could never imagine growing tired of talking to her.

Edward appreciated Bella's intelligence and her common-sense approach to life. She was pragmatic. Her life to this point had necessitated it. He hoped that, in time, she would allow him to spoil her somewhat – little opportunities to let her know just how much he valued all that she had done single-handedly for their son during the years he was unknowingly absent from Dan's life.

And that absence was something else that Edward found he was able to deal with so much more easily. Bella had been right. While he couldn't condone the choices she had made so many years before, he understood her logic. He had been a dope-smoking, alcohol-binging band member. On first inspection, he wouldn't have made a very good candidate for father-of-the-year, and after all she had shared with him and the depth of her own despair at the change in her circumstances, he had to admire her eventual courage and willingness to pull herself together for the sake of their son.

Bella was a unique and strong individual. She was someone worth knowing and someone he was developing deep feelings for.

Edward frowned.

_What am I feeling towards her? Friendship? For sure. Respect? Most definitely. Concern? Absolutely._

Edward mulled over these thoughts for a few minutes longer.

Glancing towards the clock, he looked at the time and wondered if Bella was still awake. He looked at the empty scotch tumbler next to his bed. He didn't feel like another scotch, but he was too alert to sleep.

_Maybe I could call Bella and ask for a camomile?_

Edward swung his legs off the bed and crossed to table. He picked up his wallet, phone and room key, and made his way to the door. He let himself out, but instead of knocking on Bella's door, he made his way to the elevator and punched the button that would take him to the ground floor and out into the lobby.

Ten minutes later, the elevator opened back up onto the 11th floor, and Edward stepped out holding a brown paper bag in one hand. He turned and made his way toward his room, pausing at his door. He leaned against it, resting his forehead against the timber paneling and drew in a long steady breath. He pulled out his cell phone and called Bella's number. She answered on the second ring.

"Edward?"

"Yeah. Hi. It's me. I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked quietly as he stood in the corridor between their two rooms.

"No. Not at all. I'm watching a movie."

"What about the early night you were going to have?"

"I had trouble getting to sleep; hence, the movie."

Edward hesitated, not knowing whether to ask Bella his question or not.

Bella picked up on it.

"Edward? What is it?"

Edward bit the bullet.

"I've had trouble relaxing, too. I've just been to the bar and convinced the bar tender to sell me a bottle of Baileys. Would you like to share a night cap with me?"

"Now?"

"Yes."

"I'm in my pajamas."

"Nothing I haven't seen before," Edward said offhandedly.

"True," Bella laughed, remembering his reaction to her _Tweety Bird_ pajamas.

"So, how about it?"

"Where?"

"I can come to your room if you'd like," Edward offered, feeling too self-conscious inviting Bella to his own.

Bella hesitated slightly before agreeing. "Sure."

"Really?" Edward questioned.

"Yeah. Why not?"

"I'll be right there," Edward said, crossing the six feet to her door before knocking softly on it.

"Is that you?" Bella asked incredulously, scooting out of her bed and making her way to her door.

"Yes."

"Where were you?" she asked into the phone as she undid the lock.

"Out in the corridor," Edward answered as she opened the door and looked directly at him speaking to her on his phone.

They both laughed quietly at the silliness of it all and disconnected their call before Bella stood aside to usher Edward into her room.

"So, you couldn't sleep either, huh?" she asked him as he made his way past her.

"Not really. I'm mean. I didn't really try to go to sleep – I'm still dressed," he said, stating the obvious while gesturing to his clothed form. "I answered some emails and then tried to read some, but my mind wasn't about to settle down anytime soon, and I don't like to drink alone...so here I am. Alice and Rosalie say _hello_ by the way," he finished as he pulled the bottle of Baileys from the brown paper bag.

"Have you been talking to them?" Bella asked, trying to reach for two glasses from the top shelf above the fridge in her room.

"No. Emails," Edward said, briefly watching her. "Here, let me," he said, easily reaching above her to the shelf that seemed to taunt Bella, mocking her for her petiteness.

"Thanks," Bella said graciously, while collecting herself as her senses were bombarded by Edward's close proximity.

"What movie were you watching?" Edward asked as he uncapped the bottle and poured them each a small amount of Baileys.

"Oh. Um...ahh..._The Bourne Ultimatum,"_ Bella said, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Matt Damon."

Edward smirked at her. "Eye candy?"

"Yes," Bella said, laughing.

"Not my type, I'm afraid, although I'd love to be able to handle a car like that."

"I'm glad about that...that he's not your type, I mean," she clarified.

"Really?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrows and jesting with her. "So what_ is_ your type?" he asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Is Matt Damon your type?" Edward asked while flicking his eyes toward the television.

"Ah...well..." Bella stammered. "He does have gorgeous eyes."

"So you're an eyes gal, then?"

"Among other things."

"Like what?" Edward asked, enjoying seeing Bella's growing discomfort.

"Like a...good intellect and a cheeky smile"

"Oh, you like smiles, too."

"Smiling is important."

"Agreed."

"Everyone should do more of it."

"Agreed again."

"That's why we're friends. 'Cause you agree with me. I like that in a man."

"So, you like a man who has great eyes, a cheeky smile, can hold his own in a conversation, and agrees with you all the time?"

"Not all the time."

"But most of the time..."

"No...I mean... I wouldn't know...I haven't dated many men."

"Really?"

"Can we change the subject?"

"What about that guy you go dancing with...what's his name? Steve? What about him?"

"What about him?"

"Aren't you dating, Steve? I kinda gathered from your emails that you and he were an item."

"An item?" Bella said, deliberately trying to deflect this line of questioning.

"A couple?" Edward hedged. He really didn't know how the conversation ended up down this track, and he had no idea why he was doggedly asking her about Steve. He frowned at himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry," he said, apologizing for his behavior, sensing Bella's quietness. "Forgive me?" he asked boyishly, taking a sip from his Baileys.

"Nothing to forgive," Bella responded, dismissing it as if it were nothing. "Come on. Let's sit down."

Bella lead the way to the small table they had sat at earlier in the week and pulled out a chair. She sat down quietly, looking at the drink she held in her hands.

Edward, too, sat down while regarding Bella closely. He took another sip of his drink before reaching for her hand with his fingertips.

"I really am sorry, Bella. I don't know why I pressed you like that."

"It's OK," she said. "It's just interesting timing, that's all."

"How so?"

"I was just thinking about Steve a little while ago."

"Oh?"

Bella shrugged.

"Where is he at the moment?"

"Visiting his family for Christmas out of state," Bella didn't elaborate any further.

"Have you spoken to him since he left?"

"No."

"Does that surprise you?"

"I've kinda been avoiding talking to him to tell you the truth," she admitted. "He called the other day, and I let it go to voicemail."

"Why?"

Again, Bella shrugged.

"Bella?"

She looked up at Edward. Truth time. "I haven't told him about you."

"At all?"

"No."

"Why?"

"'Cause he and Dan barely know each other. I started seeing him when Dan was away, and their paths haven't really crossed all that much, and when you turned up," Bella said, looking at him sheepishly, "or rather, Dan found you..."

"You mean when Dan literally stumbled across me?"

"Yes. Well, after that...things have just moved so quickly if you know what I mean?" she asked, wanting to see some kind of understanding in Edward's eyes.

He nodded to her, so she continued.

"And I really wasn't ready to have to explain it all to him, and I was trying to avoid the whole _you-didn't-know-who-his-father-was_ kind of scene...then one thing lead to another...and here we are," she summarized briefly.

Edward took a deep breath.

"So, he really doesn't know about me?"

"No."

"How did you explain the weekend I came to visit then?"

"Steve had a business function that weekend. He was otherwise occupied."

Edward frowned at Bella.

"I think I'm crossing the line here, but that doesn't really sound like a relationship that's going anywhere to me."

It was Bella's turn to sigh. "I think you're right. That's what I was thinking about tonight. It was one of the reasons I couldn't get to sleep."

"One of the reasons?"

"One of many," Bella confirmed.

"What were the others? If you don't mind me asking."

Bella played with her glass of Baileys. "I was thinking about how much of a surprise this week has been to me, how well things have turned out. And I was wondering how it's all going to be once we're all living on opposite sides of the country again," she answered him honestly.

"Great minds," Edward said simply.

"Huh?" Bella said, less than articulately.

"I was having similar thoughts myself."

"You were?"

"Yeah. I was thinking how much I would miss this," he said, gesturing between the two of them, "the chatting and the talking...I've really started looking forward to being with you and talking about anything and everything. I'm going to miss this. Very much."

"Me, too."

"It's going to be a pain trying to work around each others' schedules and the time difference. It won't be the same as face-to-face, but if we use Skype, we can still talk often enough."

"Dan got me some headphones with a microphone for that."

"Did he now?"

"Mmm. He must be psychic."

"If he is, he doesn't get it from my side of the family."

"Nobody in your family has any sixth sense of anything like that?" Bella asked, feeling comfortable in the conversation once again.

"Alice likes to think she can see the future, but really, I just think she uses it as a way to meddle in other people's business."

"Really?" Bella spluttered, laughing.

"Don't tell her I said that, 'cause I'll deny it."

"Don't tell me that Edward Cullen...all six-foot-something of you...is afraid of his pint-sized sister?"

"That pint-sized sister throws a hell of a punch when she needs to."

Bella laughed out loud this time. "You have a very entertaining family by the sounds of it."

"I do," Edward said, nodding his head, the conversation turning serious. "I was incredibly lucky that Carlisle and Esmé adopted me when my parents died. Very lucky, indeed."

"I'm sure they feel the same way, Edward," Bella said warmly. "Lucky for all of us, really. Can you imagine if you hadn't been adopted and you were a blood relative? I mean...what a tragic mess this all could have been."

"You're referring to Dan and Cassie?"

"Yes. What are the chances? I mean, really. He goes halfway 'round the world only to fall in love with his cousin?"

"Cousin on paper."

"Yes, on paper. That's what I mean," Bella continued in amazement.

"I know. That day..." Edward said, shaking his head and thinking back to that fateful Thanksgiving lunch, "I was in shock, and so was everyone else. And I've got to admit I wasn't proud of my actions that day. It took me a good while and some time alone to get my head together."

"I can't imagine what that would have been like for you," Bella said very quietly.

Edward's eyes momentarily glazed over before he snapped them back to the present.

"It's the past, Bella, and it's brought me to you and Dan. So, it's a good thing. Let's leave the not-so-good bits where they belong, huh? Here, let me fill your glass again."

"Thanks," Bella said, surprised that she had already gotten to the bottom of her glass. She offered it to Edward as he rose before he crossed back to the counter to refill their glasses.

"How do you think Dan and Cassie are going to handle it?" Bella asked from her seat.

"You mean separating again?" Edward asked, catching her eye as he poured their drinks.

"Yes."

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea. They've grown incredibly close this past week, even more so than they already were," he answered once again, recapping the bottle and making his way back to Bella.

"You've noticed it too, huh?"

"Blind Freddy could have noticed it."

They both sipped at their drinks.

"I can't imagine either of them is going to handle it well," Edward said. "I'm not looking forward to that plane trip home, I can tell you."

"Me either...the car trip, I mean." Bella twirled her glass in her hands. "I can't imagine Dan will want to hang around here too much longer, not after he's been living with Cassie like he has this past week."

"They were together in Australia," Edward reminded her.

"Yes, but not like this."

"True."

"You know, they never...you know...while they were away."

"I didn't know that," Edward said, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yeah. Dan was pretty particular about not having a holiday romance."

"I see," Edward said, pulling his lips into a tight line. A brief interlude of silence followed that remark. "Still, it seems to have worked out for them though," he said, regrouping.

"They've handled themselves pretty responsibly from what I can tell," Bella agreed.

"Do _you_ think they're a permanent thing?"

"Yeah. I know Dan's fallen hard and believes Cassie's it for him."

"I know."

"Do you worry that maybe they're a bit young?"

Edward shrugged. "Dan seems a lot older than what he is at times, Bella. And this relationship has brought out a maturity in Cassie I didn't know was there. Maybe with help and support from all of us when they need it, they'll make it through."

"I think he'll end up moving to the West Coast sooner rather than later, especially after this holiday."

Edward looked at Bella closely. "How do you feel about that?"

"Honestly? I'm trying to put on my big girl panties and convince myself that this is what I've spent his entire life preparing him for – to go it alone, to live his own life, be his own man. But I have to admit, it scares me senseless."

"What? Him moving away?"

"No...letting him go." Bella teared up. "God, I'm sick of crying," she exclaimed, frustrated at her own see-sawing emotions. "I feel like I've done nothing but cry recently."

"That's not true," Edward said, reaching for her hand. "It's just an emotional time for all of us, that's all."

"I know," Bella said, brushing away her errant tears. "I'm trying to be all logical about it, but it's tough, you know?"

"I'm beginning to understand that. I'm beginning to understand the pull a parent feels towards a child."

Bella looked up at him.

"I'm glad. Not that you're being pulled, but that you're feeling it," she said before shaking her head. "Am I making any sense here at all?"

"Perfect sense."

"Maybe it's just the Baileys talking?"

"Maybe it's the Baileys that's helping my hearing."

Bella laughed. "Maybe," she concurred.

"Come on," Edward said, "enough of his heavy talk. Let's watch a movie. You game?"

"Sure. What's on?"

"No idea. Let's channel surf."

"Good idea," Bella said, getting up from the table and crossing to the bed where she'd left the remote earlier in the evening.

"What can you find?" Edward asked, standing to move behind her while looking at the television.

"Nah...nah...nah...Oh...Ocean's Eleven."

"That's got Mr. Cheeky Smile himself in it, hasn't it?"

"And Julia Roberts," Bella said, defending her choice.

"Good point."

"Ok. Settle in, then," Bella said, sitting down and swinging her legs onto the bed and shuffling backwards so her back rested against the headboard.

Edward hesitated, looking around the room, wondering where he should sit. Bella noticed his hesitation.

"Oh, come on. Sit down. There's no other way you can watch the television but from this angle."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Just take your shoes off. I don't want grit on the comforter."

Once again, Edward hesitated just briefly until Bella leveled him with one of her don't-challenge-me-I'm-a-teacher looks and he acquiesced, moving around to the other side of the bed and slipping his shoes off.

"Are you sure this is alright?" he asked her again.

"Stay on top of the bed if you're so worried, but I'm good. I promise I won't take advantage of you. I've got Mr. Cheeky Smile to distract me."

"Fair enough," Edward said, settling himself on top of Bella's bed.

"Do you need an extra pillow to make yourself comfortable?"

"No, I'm good."

"Right. You ready?"

"Yup."

"OK. Here we go," Bella said, hitting the play button as they both settled in to watch the movie.

Sometime later, Bella looked at Edward and said, "You look at bit like him, you know."

"Who?"

"George Clooney."

"Really?"

"Yeah. The hair and the crinkles around the eyes...and the jaw line," Bella said, appraising his face.

"Is that a compliment?"

"I think George is hot," Bella said, focusing her attention back to the television.

"I thought you liked Mr. Cheeky Smile?"

"Yes, I do. But that doesn't mean that I can't find other people attractive. Everyone's gotta have their list of favorites."

"List of favorites?"

"Yeah. The all-bets-are-off list."

"You mean...?"

"The list of people you'd do it with if you got the chance."

"Your get-out-of-jail-free-card list?"

"That's the one!"

"OK...who's on your list?"

"Well, Matt, obviously. George and..."

"Tom Cruise?"

"Ewww!"

"Brad Pitt?"

"Once upon time, but now, with the beard? Ewww..." Bella said, adding a shudder for emphasis.

"You're not into beards?"

"I don't mind beards...not at all. In fact, they look very good on some men. Johnny Depp, for example, looks great with a beard. But that ratty thing Brad's sporting at the moment? No way."

"So would Johnny Depp round off you top three then?"

Bella nodded thoughtfully. "Yes. I say he would."

"Hmm."

"What's your top three?"

"Do I have to have three?"

"Let's keep it balanced, shall we. Name your three."

"Salma Hayek."

"Mmm."

"Cameron Diaz."

"Now they are two extremes!"

"Yes, but Cameron's legs..." Edward said, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, TMI! TMI!" Bella laughed, quoting one of Sammy's phrases and mockingly holding her hands over her ears.

Edward laughed. "And...Sandra Bullock or Jessica Alba. I can't make up my mind which."

"That's four!"

"Well, there's nothing stopping you from picking another one."

"Viggo Mortenson."

"The long-haired dude from Lord of the Rings?"

"Oh, yeah."

"You've got quite a little eclectic group there yourself, young lady," he said, nudging her sideways with his shoulder.

"A girl can dream."

Edward smiled and looked over at her warmly.

"Dreams are good."

"Yes, they are," Bella said, winking.

Edward laughed, and Bella sat up and stretched.

"You alright?" he asked her.

"Yeah. Just my back is a little stiff. I've been sitting crooked."

"Here," Edward gestured, lifting his arm and encouraging her to nestle into his side.

"You sure?"

"If you'll be more comfortable."

"Ok," Bella said, leaning into his side and relaxing against the warmth of his body.

"Better?"

"Yes. Much. Thank you," she said, hesitating over where she should put her hands.

"Here," Edward said again, noticing her discomfort and taking one of her hands in his own. He held their entwined hands against his chest, and Bella felt silly for thinking there was anything more in it than that.

"Thanks," Bella said, snuggling into his side.

They settled in again to watch some more of the movie.

Within minutes, however, Bella was becoming decidedly drowsy. She struggled to keep her eyes open, each blink getting slower and slower.

Edward noticed.

"You're getting tired," he said softly to her. "I should get going."

"No. It's alright. Stay and watch the movie. If I nod off, take it as a compliment. It's the first time I've really felt really drowsy all week."

"I should take that as a compliment?"

"You relax me. That's the compliment," she said sleepily.

"You relax me, too," he whispered into her hair.

"You won't take advantage of me, will you Mr. Cullen?" she said dreamily with her eyes closed.

"No, Ms. Swan. I will never take advantage of you," he replied, adding _again_ in his mind.

"OK," she sighed as she drifted off to sleep in Edward's arms, her head on his chest.

Edward was no longer focused on the movie in front of him. He was concentrating entirely on Bella – her breathing, the way she felt snuggled into his side, the way they just seemed to fit together effortlessly.

_Oh Cullen, what's going on?_ he questioned himself.

_You're falling for her, man_, his conscience whispered to him.

He smiled softly to himself and closed his eyes as he kissed the top of her head gently.

_Yes, I believe I am, _he admitted as he rubbed his cheek softly over the top of her hair, enjoying the feel of it under his skin.

_What are you going to do about it?_ his conscience questioned him.

_I have absolutely no idea_, he answered honestly. And with that final thought, Edward slowly drifted off to sleep. The woman who had become such an integral part of his life during the last few weeks was tucked securely in his arms.

* * *

Thank you to my support crew. You're marvellous.

And to LBM who pimps me out like there is no tomorrow...gracie!

Don't forget to check out my profile regarding the fandom efforts to help those in Nashville.

And to those of you who have asked... I support the FGB as a pledger... there are so many fantastic writers contributing to this effort, and I know that many, many loyal and devoted TTTB readers are already contributing to the global effort via either writing themselves or pledging financial support to other writers' projects. I am conscious that in this tough financial time there is only so much money to go around. As a result, I am not putting a TTTB outake into the effort... I don't want people to have to choose to split their available funds. This is a combined effort by all of us in the fandom to achieve a common goal. Please, support the FGB and Alex's Lemonade Stand as best as you are able. I, like many of you, will be hoping that my financial contributions in support of other writers will make a real difference to the lives of many... (and to those of you who haven't noticed, Specward is referenced on a coffee mug and t-shirt that has been designed - see the UoEM thread or my profile for more details. I'm getting a coffee mug and maybe a t-shirt to wear to bed to keep Specward and some of the other 'wards close to my heart where they belong.)

Until next time (and it will more than likely be two weeks until the next chapter - entitled New Year's Eve - *wink wink)

Yours most sincerely

Leisa


	37. Chapter 37

Hello everyone.

Thanks for your patience.

SM owns the twilight original characters. I don't... enough said.

more notes at the end (as if there ever isn't...huh?)

* * *

**Chapter 37 - New Year's Eve – a night of firsts**

Edward was sleeping soundly. His head was bent at a weird angle, and his neck muscles were pulled tight as they fought to support it. He dreamed he was losing his grip on something, and in the midst of his deep sleep, his body jerked in response, his arms automatically tightening their hold on what was slipping away. The suddenness of the action woke him. It took him a moment or two to orientate himself. He looked down to see Bella asleep in his arms, her head no longer on his chest but rather lower down on his abdomen. He inhaled deeply trying to wake himself fully. He looked from Bella to the television in front of them. It showed a bright blue screen indicating that the movie they'd been watching had long since finished. He glanced at the bedside clock. It glowed a crimson 2:33 a.m.

Edward looked back toward the sleeping Bella in his arms. He hated to wake her, but he knew he must. It would do neither of them any good to spend the night in such an awkward position.

"Bella," he whispered, trying not to startle her while gently nudging her with his upper body. Bella stirred slightly but was otherwise unresponsive. He tried again.

"Bella," he whispered a little louder this time, allowing his fingers to trail gently along her arm.

"Huh?" Bella grunted, rousing slowly from her position and awkwardly pushing herself up from her resting place.

"Sorry," Edward continued in a whisper so as not to startle her. "We both fell asleep watching the movie. I really should be going."

"Hmm?" Bella questioned drowsily, looking at him. Her eyes were heavily lidded, and she was finding it difficult to focus. She'd been sleeping soundly, and as her body slowly woke, she realized her neck and shoulders were stiff and a little sore from the awkward position she'd been in.

"I need to get up," Edward explained again patiently.

"Oh," Bella replied, gradually beginning to process what was happening.

"We both fell asleep. I need to get back to my room."

"What time is it?" Bella asked, rubbing her tired eyes with her fingers.

"Two-thirty, give or take."

"Oh," Bella replied again. She wasn't very talkative in her present state.

Bella looked at Edward, still trying to comprehend their current position. She remembered that she'd been cuddled up against his chest. She looked at his chest and felt the warmness of her cheek with her fingers before letting her eyes drift down his body.

"Oh, my goodness! I'm so sorry," she blurted while simultaneously reaching out with her hand and wiping at his shirt. Bella had dribbled slightly in her sleep, and she was mortified beyond words.

"What?" Edward said, startled by her actions as he watched what she was doing.

"Oh, my God. How embarrassing," Bella continued on unabated.

"Bella, it's alright," Edward said softly to her, brushing away her haphazard attempts to dry him off.

"No, Edward. I'm sorry. Oh, good grief," she muttered under her breath. Bella was wide awake now. And humiliated.

Edward laughed softly. "Bella, it's fine. Stop it," he said, finally grabbing her hand and holding it still.

She looked at him, her eyes beseeching.

"Edward, I'm just so sorry."

"It's fine," he offered warmly, smiling at her. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh, God," Bella said, lowering her head to avoid looking at him.

"Hey," he said, releasing her hand and gently placing his fingers under her chin, lifting her face to him so he could look her in the eyes. "It's OK," he said, looking at her intensely.

"I dribbled on you," she said, stating the obvious.

"I don't care."

Bella creased her eyebrows together. "How can you not care?" she asked doubtfully.

"'Cause I just don't."

Bella closed her eyes and screwed up her features.

"Look at me."

Bella refused to comply.

He repeated his instruction. "Bella, look at me," he said, removing his fingers from under her chin to gently cup the side of her face in the palm of his hand. The sensation of that movement caused Bella to involuntary sigh. She opened her eyes.

Edward was looking at her intently. "It's alright," he said slowly, his gaze boring into hers.

Bella was lost for words. She was taken aback by the color of his eyes and the way he was looking right into hers. He was focused on her.

Both of them remained silent for a moment or two as they regarded each other closely.

"I need to go," Edward finally whispered to her. He was yet to let go of her face.

Bella responded by nodding infinitesimally, her eyes drifting over his face, noticing his features, taking in everything as if she was seeing him for the first time.

Still, they didn't move. Each sat there lost in each other's gaze until finally Edward's lips spread in a gentle smile.

"You need to get back to sleep," he said quietly.

"So do you," she replied before continuing. "You must be cold. You've been on top of the covers all this time."

His smile broadened, even though he regrettably let go of his hold on her face. "I've had somebody nice and warm snuggled up against me. I wasn't cold at all."

Bella smiled back at him.

"Thanks for being a makeshift pillow. You're pretty comfortable you know. You're not lumpy and bumpy at all."

"Why, thanks for the compliment," Edward said, stretching and preparing to stand. "It must be all the extra padding I carry around these days."

"You don't have any extra padding," she said, stretching and mirroring his actions.

"I have more padding than I used to," he said, pushing himself to his feet.

"I think you padded out just right." Bella said without thinking before suddenly feeling terribly self-conscious.

Edward turned to face her and raised his eyebrows in response.

"Oh, God. It's two-thirty in the morning. I'm not responsible for what I'm saying," she said, putting her hand over her face.

Edward smiled at her. "I think you're lovely, two-thirty in the morning or not," he said.

"And now you're just being polite."

"No, I'm not. I mean it. You're perfect the way you are, Bella."

"So you like blubbering idiots at this time of morning, do you?" she replied, laughing.

"Most definitely," Edward said, gazing at her warmly.

Bella looked back at him with equal appreciation.

"Well, I'm off," he said, breaking the moment as he turned to pick up his coat and make his way to the door. "I'll see you in the morning for breakfast."

"Right," Bella said as she began to follow him.

"I'll come get you?" he asked, referring to what was now their habit of walking down to breakfast together.

"Sure."

"OK. Goodnight, Bella," he said, turning to her and reaching to gently cup the back of her head with his hand before bending down to kiss her tenderly on her forehead.

Bella was momentarily startled. Edward usually kissed her goodnight on the cheek. This felt very different, more intimate somehow.

"Goodnight," she whispered quickly, realizing she hadn't responded.

"Go back to bed," he whispered against her skin before releasing her. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes," she said, looking up at him.

Edward smiled softly before turning and opening the door. He looked briefly up and down the hallway before stepping out and turning to look at her intently as he closed the door. "Bed," he whispered again as Bella stood there mutely, only moving once the click of the door closing stirred her from her thoughts.

"Right. Yes. Bed," she said aloud to herself as she turned and crossed back to her rumpled bed. She climbed back into it and pulled the covers up snugly around her. She rolled onto her side and curled herself into a ball wanting to feel the warmth she had felt as she'd snuggled into Edward, realizing that the cold cotton sheets would fail to do the job.

Bella lay in bed thinking. _Something's different_, she mused. Her mind drifted to Edward, and his face materialized in her vision. She closed her eyes, and his image became clearer. _Yes, something's very different._

* * *

Breakfast was a jovial affair. Everyone was seated in their usual positions, all chatting excitedly about the plans for New Year's Eve.

Boston's First Night celebrations were well known and highly regarded in the local area and even though it might take them up to an hour and a half to travel there by car, depending on the traffic, the group was determined to make a night of it.

Since festivities started in the early afternoon, Edward and Bella decided to drive Bella's car into Boston and park at one of the many parking garages around the city. First Night activities were situated all around central Boston. Going early would hopefully ensure them a parking spot relatively close to the hub of the action and together they intended to spend many hours moving from one scheduled event to another while they waited for Dan, Cassie, Sammy and Chris to join them. With Dan and Chris both having to work until mid-afternoon, the girls decided to stay in Manchester and spend their afternoon taking it easy before traveling into Boston via train with the boys after they'd finished work for the day. Dan had gone online days before and had purchased their "First Night Buttons", which were their passes that allowed them into all First Night activities. He'd told Cassie where to find them amongst his things so that Bella and Edward could get theirs before heading off into the city.

After Dan had made a hasty exit from breakfast, Cassie and Sammy excused themelves as they went about their morning. Despite their assurances of a quiet day, both Bella and Edward suspected that their day would entail more shopping as they waited for the boys to finish work. With a smile and wave, the two girls disappeared from the café, leaving Edward and Bella sipping their morning coffees.

"So what do you plan to do this morning, Ms. Swan?" Edward asked as he replaced his coffee cup on the white linen tablecloth.

"Honestly? Not much. I'm a bit tired to tell you the truth, so a lazy morning before this afternoon's schedule might be warranted."

"Didn't you sleep well?" he enquired.

"Not once you'd left."

"Really?" Edward asked.

" I just couldn't seem to settle."

"Wasn't your pillow any good?" he teased.

"That must have been it," Bella said, nodding and playing along. "I had this really comfortable one, but then it disappeared, and I got this fluffy thing that I just couldn't bash into shape no matter how hard I tried."

"Poor pillow," Edward replied, laughing.

"It survived," Bella smirked as she took a final sip of her coffee.

"I'm glad to hear it."

"What are you planning to do this morning?"

"Nothing much either to tell you the truth."

"Do you want to do nothing much together then?"

"That's doable," Edward said, leaning back in his chair. "I've downloaded the list of events for First Night onto my laptop. Apparently the Ice Sculptures are something we ought not to miss. How about we check out what events are going on and make a plan of attack?"

"That sounds like something I'd do. Dan's forever telling me just to go with the flow, but I always like to know what's going on so I don't miss things that I'd really like to see."

"It's the younger generation, I think," Edward agreed. "And besides, I've never been before, so I'd like to see as much as I can."

"Me, too. I've never been to First Night either."

"You haven't?"

"No. This is only my fourth New Years' Eve here...or is it my fifth? I'm not really sure..." Bella said, her voice trailing off as she tried to recall her previous New Years on the East Coast. "Anyway," she continued on, "I've always tended to stick closer to home. Boston is a bit too far for me to travel on my own from Lebanon, and I've tended to either go to a friend's house or just stayed home."

"Do you usually stay up 'til midnight?"

"Sometimes, but not always," she answered with a shrug. "What about you?"

"It's kind of inevitable where I live. People walk along the beach at all hours, and there are fireworks over the water. The family often comes down to my place, so yeah, most times I ring in the New Year."

"We're making a big day of it today then," Bella said, referring to the plan that she and Edward were going to leave just after lunch and make their way into Boston.

"One advantage of having the car will be if we don't want to stay until midnight, we can leave and avoid the mass exodus later on. I assume the kids will want to stay."

"You should too, if you want to experience it all," Bella said, "and it will be your first New Year's with Dan, so that should give you extra incentive to stay awake."

"Oh, I think Dan and Cassie will only have eyes for each other come midnight," Edward said, looking directly at Bella and raising his eyebrows. "I don't really think he'll notice if I'm there or not."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll want to bring in the New Year with you," Bella said, wanting to be reassuring.

"There'll be a whole day of it tomorrow if that's the case...once everyone wakes up that is."

"True."

"If they intend to stay after the midnight fireworks and then catch the train home like they were saying, they won't get in before two or maybe even three. I doubt breakfast tomorrow will be an early affair."

Bella laughed along.

"Obviously, the hotel doesn't expect too many early risers either. Did you notice they adjusted breakfast times for tomorrow? They're serving breakfast up until 11:30."

"I did notice that."

"Pressure's off, at least. We won't have to knock on anyone's door tomorrow at five to nine, that's for sure."

Edward laughed.

"True. Are you ready to go?" Edward asked. "We can check out the website now if you like?"

"Sure," Bella said while reaching for her bag that was hanging over the back of her chair.

"What's the weather supposed to be like for tonight? Have you heard?" Edward inquired as he pulled her chair back for her as she went to stand.

"Fine. Cold. No Snow," Bella answered.

"At least there's no rain."

"Or sleet. It should make for a pleasant evening as long as the wind doesn't start up."

"What do I need to wear for something like this?"

"Gloves, coat, scarf, beanie – the usual," Bella smirked as she lead them out of the café.

"The usual for you, you mean."

"Yes. How much did you have to buy before coming over here?"

"Not too much, really," Edward answered. "Maybe the beanie. I've never had a beanie except for skiing, and the one I had was a bit old and ratty. The rest of it I had buried around the house for the most part."

Edward and Bella continued to chat amiably as they made their way across the lobby and over to the elevators. Once they made it to their floor, they parted briefly to finish their own morning routines before meeting again just before ten-thirty in Edward's room, where they spent the next hour or so carefully considering their itinerary for the day. They ordered room service for lunch and ate casually at the small table and chairs over by his window. The weather report was accurate so far. As they looked out across the landscape below them, the blue sky made an attractive backdrop against the snow-covered ground. The sun shone brightly and people could be seen out and about enjoying a rare break from the gray tones of winter. It was a promising omen for the end of one year and the introduction of the next. Truth be told, both Bella and Edward were looking forward to the prospects the New Year could bring their way. At the same time, they quietly lamented the passing of their all but too brief New England holiday.

It was closer to two o'clock by the time Edward and Bella left the hotel to head into Boston. Cassie and Sammy had returned from their morning's excursion, which, as Edward had predicted, included another round of shopping. Leaving the girls to their own devices for the afternoon, Edward nestled himself comfortably in Bella's car as she drove them the hour or so into Boston. As had become habit during their week together, their conversation flowed easily. Bella inquired more about Edward's usual New Year's Eve traditions, and Edward asked more about Bella and Dan's lifestyle prior to their move to the East Coast.

Before they had realized it, they were in the center of Boston negotiating their way through the busy city traffic to their predetermined parking area – Edward navigating; Bella driving.

"On your right, Bella...no, not that right, I mean your other right," Edward laughed, chiding her. She'd indicated to turn left instead of right as she became flustered while trying to follow his instructions. Bella wasn't terribly familiar with Boston, having only visited it once or twice herself in the time she had lived in New Hampshire.

"Keep your shirt on," she told him as she looked in her mirrors before attempting to change lanes.

"Do you want me to drive?"

"No."

"I could you know."

"I suspect you could, but there's no need. I've got it under control."

"We should have turned there."

"Where?"

"Back there."

"Well, why didn't you say something?"

"I just did."

"_Before_ the turn, not when we're on top of it!"

"I thought you knew where we were going?"

"I said I had an idea of where we were headed, not that I knew exactly how to get there."

"Let me drive."

"No."

"Pull over."

"No. Just read the map."

"I can read it just fine."

"Then would you mind telling me where to go, please?"

"With pleasure," Edward said, smirking at her.

"Behave," Bella warned.

"You'll need to go around this block."

"Which way?"

"Huh?"

"Right or left?"

"Right. I mean left."

"Which is it?"

"Right and then right again."

"Are you sure?" Bella asked, signaling to turn.

"Yes."

"Doubly sure?"

"Yes. Turn here."

"Ok," Bella said, doing as she was told. "Geez, bossy much?"

"You wanted the instructions," Edward said, laughing at her.

"Where to now?" Bella said, completing the last of the turns Edward had said.

"Up here on the left, I think," he added quietly as he once again regarded the map turning it to determine he was giving her the correct directions.

Bella laughed.

"I thought it was women who had difficulty with direction."

"I don't use maps at home. I have one of those navigation systems."

"I don't have one of those."

"I've noticed."

"I've never needed one."

"That seems like an obsolete statement now, doesn't it?" Edward quipped while looking at the map and reorientating himself.

"Maybe I should have been the one to navigate?" Bella suggested.

"Done. You can navigate our way out of here tonight. I'll drive."

"You're pretty determined to get behind the wheel, aren't you?"

"At the rate you drive, I could get us home in half the time."

"Well, if you didn't consistently get us lost, it wouldn't have taken us twice as long," she said, returning fire.

"I'll get it right tonight. I've got my bearings now," Edward said as Bella pulled into the underground parking garage.

"Really? Famous last words, I suspect," she said, stirring him.

"Well, you'll be the one giving the directions tonight," Edward reminded her as she took the printed ticket from the machine. Bella passed the ticket to him silently as she rolled away from the boom gates.

"We'll be sure to make it out of here promptly, then," she agreed. "'Cause map reading isn't all that difficult you know. Women actually look at the things, rather than just guessing at the destination."

"Oh, you are in fine form today."

"And just you remember it, buddy."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Don't you Ma'am me, you...you..."

"What?"

"Boofhead."

"What?"

"It's an Aussie term. Dan taught me."

"Say it again?"

"Boofhead."

"What's it mean?"

"I'm not too sure, but I think it suits the situation."

"Is that so?"

Bella just shrugged her shoulders in response before adding, "If the word fits, use it."

Edward laughed. "Aussie's speak weird."

"Apparently so."

"Hmm. Boofhead. I'll have to remember that one."

"Who would you use it with?"

"Emmett."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It sounds like it would suit him perfectly."

Bella laughed along with Edward while finally locating a park a couple of levels down after multiple false starts.

"So, Ms. Swan," Edward said as they alighted from the vehicle. "Are you ready for your first-ever First Night in Boston?"

"I'm as ready as you are, Mr. Cullen. Lead the way."

"Oh, after you, m'lady. I'd hate to be accused of leading you the wrong way around town."

"Good then. Well, this way," Bella said, smiling as she moved to her left.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"To the elevators."

"They're over this way," Edward said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Oh. Yes. Well, right then," Bella said, laughing at herself.

"We're so screwed getting out of here tonight, aren't we?" Edward said, laughing along.

"Maybe...maybe not... but you'd better not lose that map just in case."

"I'll guard it with my life."

"I think you should," she said, looking at him before extending her hand. " Give it to me. Statistically speaking, women live longer than men. It will be safer with me. Statistically speaking, that is."

"Statistically speaking," Edward said, silently handing over the map in question while smirking at her unusual train of thought.

"Besides, I'm the one with the large handbag."

"Good point."

"Glad you see things my way."

Edward and Bella walked companionably side by side toward the elevator that would take them up to ground level.

"You're an entertaining woman, Ms. Swan."

"You're not half bad yourself, Mr. Cullen."

"I'm very happy to be sharing my last day of 2009 with you," Edward said, extending the crook of his arm to her.

"And I'm very happy to be sharing the beginning of a new year with you," Bella replied, placing her hand inside his elbow.

"Happy New Year, Ms. Swan."

"You're a little early aren't you, Mr. Cullen?"

"I just don't want to miss my chance."

"Your chance for what?"

"To wish you every happiness for the year ahead."

"I think the year ahead of us is going to bring us all much happiness, Edward, especially since the end of the current one is turning out so well."

"It is, isn't it?" he asked her.

"Yes, it is. Very much so," she said, looking up at him as they stood side by side, waiting for the lift.

"I think so, too," he said simply before leaning over to kiss her temple along her hairline.

"Happy New Year, Edward."

"It will be, Bella."

* * *

Several hours later, and since most of the events and activities lasted no longer than 45 minutes, Edward and Bella had managed a trip to a museum as well as a few short theatrical and musical productions , including a marionette production of _Sleeping Beauty_. After such a busy afternoon, Bella and Edward were making their way down Arlington Street toward the Park Plaza Hotel where they had agreed to meet Dan, Chris and the girls. The crowds had grown consistently throughout the afternoon as many families with small children made the most of the beautiful weather.

After meeting up with the kids, the group strolled toward the Boston Common, stopping to buy something to eat along the way from one of the many street vendors. Their immediate goals were two-fold – to position themselves suitably to catch the end of the Metro Grande Parade as it made its way down Boylston Street, and then to secure a vantage point from which to watch the first of the firework displays, designed for families with young children that were scheduled to begin at seven o'clock.

Bella and Edward were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Each smiled and laughed as they chatted with the younger ones. To the casual observer, they appeared as an ordinary middle-aged couple out for the evening with their grown children. There was no apparent awkwardness, no discontent. The tone of their afternoon and evening together was a true testament to all the progress they had made as friends during the previous week.

And Edward was relishing these moments with Bella. Several times during the afternoon, he'd sought Bella's hand with his or positioned her gently in front of him, resting his hands on her shoulders while they stood to watch people and activities on display. He was acutely conscious of her the entire afternoon, and he could feel himself mystically pulled toward her. He wanted to be next to her. He wanted to hold her hand and feel her body in close proximity to his. For the better part of the day, Edward had forced himself to refrain from touching her in ways that could only be described as more intimate. Several times he'd caught himself as he was about to hold her by the hips instead of her shoulders as she'd stood in front of him or brush hair away from her face as it fell out from under the beret she wore as the afternoon sun began to set.

Edward's mind was urging caution while his senses were encouraging much less measured interactions.

After his epiphany from the night before and as Edward continued to become more aware of his attraction to Bella, he began to second guess his desires. He became conscious of every movement and gesture. While he was thoroughly enjoying their time together, he was growing increasingly anxious. Anxious as to how she was interpreting his subtle signs of affection. Anxious about how overtly he was displaying such signs. Anxious about what their impending separation would mean for them as a family unit. Being in close proximity as they had been for the last week or so, Edward was intimately aware of just how far their relationship, if it could be called that, had progressed. He and Bella had become friends, but now, Edward realized, and on his part at least, there was more to it than that. He was enthralled by her. He was captivated by her. He was attracted to her. Try as he might during the afternoon to just relax and enjoy their time together, he ended up worrying more and more about what the future held in store for all of them and how his growing feelings for Bella might upset the delicate balance they had all just recently achieved.

For her part, Bella was enjoying the afternoon and evening immensely. She took enormous pride in how Dan conducted himself with Cassie and his friends, and also with Edward. It was one of those times when a parent could feel justifiably satisfied for a job well done. Dan cared for Cassie deeply – that much was obvious. The way he held her, spoke to her and looked after her was indicative of a very loving and intimate relationship. Dan also showed a great deal of respect for Sammy and her relationship with her cousin. Time and time again during the course of the evening, and throughout the week already spent, Dan had gone out of his way to ensure that Sammy was included in their activities. No doubt, his efforts were helped by the presence of Chris who seemingly paired off with Sammy quite happily despite their regular bickering. Bella often wondered if maybe there was a little more behind their constant quarreling. She also closely watched the developing relationship between Dan and Edward. Since that afternoon earlier in the week when Dan had introduced Edward for the first time as _his father_, it appeared to Bella as if their relationship had developed to a whole new level. What surprised her more than anything was that she no longer felt any jealousy when she would see Edward and Dan enjoying private conversations man-to-man. It reinforced to Bella just how much Dan had to gain by having a man like Edward in his life and how much Edward could share with Dan about life from a grown man's perspective. Something she, as his mother, could never do.

Bella also delighted in her time with Edward. Despite the ups and downs of their week together, her mind drifted back over the happy events of the week. While they waited for the floats in the parade to pass by, she realized that she had begun to look forward more and more to her alone time with him. It offered the chance for her to be someone other than Dan's mother – to be a woman in her own right. Edward valued her as well as her thoughts and ideas and stories. She believed that he wanted to spend as much time with her as she did with him. To her, he had become someone other than Dan's father. He had become a true friend and confidant – someone she had allowed to see the real Bella– and he hadn't run. He'd done the opposite. He'd held her as she'd cried and then had cried along with her. Bella knew that the reason for her positive outlook on the future was solely because of Edward's acceptance of her and her past. She would be forever thankful to him for that, and she doubted that she could ever express the depth of her gratitude to him.

It was while she was engaged in her private thoughts as the parade moved slowly past that she felt Edward's hands come to rest lightly on her shoulders. She leaned back into him slightly and smiled softly.

"You're terribly quiet," he said to her privately, his voice next to her ear.

"I've just been thinking back over the last week," Bella replied just as quietly.

Dan, Cassie, Sammy, and Chris were near them, but the noise of the crowd cheering on the parade all but drowned out Bella and Edward's hushed words. It was as if they were in their own little bubble.

"What about the last week?" Edward asked her, keeping his voice low.

Bella raised one gloved hand to place it over one of Edward's that rested on her shoulder.

"I've had an incredible time. Much better than I ever thought was possible," Bella explained. "I'm feeling a little melancholy about it coming to an end."

Edward squeezed her shoulders with his hands.

"I understand what you mean. I'm not looking forward to saying _goodbye_ either."

Bella looked over her shoulder and up into his eyes. She drew a sad, tight smile, which Edward returned in kind.

"It won't be _goodbye_, you know," he said, looking at her intently. "This is only just the beginning for all of us. You know that, right?"

Bella didn't reply. He voice caught in her throat. She briefly nodded her ascent to let him know she had heard him. Bella was taken aback by the sudden rush of emotion that caught her off guard.

"Cassie's twenty-first is in a month and a half, and I'm sure I can swing a trip over this way in the meantime."

"Really?" Bella said. She was surprised by the note of hopefulness in her voice.

It was Edward's turn to nod this time. "I think I may have to meet with the producers face-to-face at some point. Not everything can be communicated effectively over the phone. If I had to come to New York at some point, would you come down and meet me?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course," Bella said without hesitation. "Dan and I would definitely meet you."

Edward noted that Bella automatically included Dan in the equation. What surprised him was that he hadn't.

"Great," Edward replied, giving nothing away as he squeezed her shoulders before they both fixed their attention back to the floats in front of them.

Half an hour later as the last of the parade headed toward its destination, the sky above them erupted in a myriad of color as the fireworks lit up the sky. Everyone's attention was drawn toward the display erupting across the sky, and the families with young children all around them _oohed _and _ahhed _at the spectacle.

Bella stood next to Edward during the twelve-minute display, and at one point, she looked over to him to see that his attention was drawn toward a young father with his young son perched on his shoulders. In the flashes of light given off by the fireworks overhead, Bella could see Edward's gaze, and what she saw was a mixture of longing and regret. She reached for his hand and squeezed it softly with her own.

The action, undetected by anyone else, drew Edward's gaze from the father and son and down to their two hands clasped together. He raised his eyes to hers and smiled tenderly at her. In response, Bella leaned into Edward's side, and using her free hand, began to rub Edward's upper arm. She hoped that he would understand her silent display of understanding and support.

Edward reached to hold her free hand in his, halting her actions. He gently raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it before repeating the gesture to her forehead while holding their hands together on his chest over his heart.

The fact that so much could be communicated between the two of them without words spoke volumes of the newfound intimacy in their relationship. They were indeed confidants and shared a level of friendship that could only be born out of intense pain and shared experiences. It was something they both knew they would be forever thankful for.

After the seven o'clock fireworks display ended, their group went their separate ways for a while. The kids went off on their own for the remaining few hours until midnight. Bella and Edward caught the T, Boston's underground subway, to take them to several other locations around the city that were hosting First Night activities.

It was nearly eleven-thirty before the group was to meet up again, and their efforts involved several confusing phone calls between cell phones while they were trying to locate each other in the crowded Long Wharf on Boston Harbor. Once they were all together, they stood in a small huddle sharing jokes and stories as the countdown to midnight began.

When the announcers started rousing the crowd with five minutes to go, the level of excitement increased exponentially, and despite Bella and Edward's weariness, they too joined in the vocal whistling and chanting that swept through the crowd.

When the final minute to midnight began, Edward reached for Bella and pulled her in front of him after some big burly man positioned himself right in front of her. He casually placed his hands on her shoulders, something he had done multiple times during the day, and this time, for him, it felt different. He couldn't explain why. Maybe it was the nighttime or the darkness making things appear more intimate, or maybe it was being surrounded by other couples. Whatever it was, Edward felt more closely connected to Bella than he ever had before.

Together with Dan and Cassie, and Chris and Sammy, they counted down the last ten seconds and cheered along with the rest of the crowd as the New Year was finally announced. Couples and families, young and not so young, yelled messages of Happy New Year as people everywhere embraced and kissed.

Edward hugged Bella tightly against his body and leaned his head around and over her shoulder. He wished her a Happy New Year before kissing her resoundingly on her cheek. Bella smiled warmly and returned his wishes, looking over her shoulder toward him. Without hesitation, Edward planted a warm and gentle kiss directly to Bella's lips. It was over in an instant, but for Bella, the feeling of his lips on hers, even for just that brief second, left her feeling completely at sea.

She was startled back to reality by Edward letting go of her while she was pulled into a hug by Cassie who yelled, _Happy New Year, Bella_, a little over enthusiastically right into her ear. Cassie released Bella and it was only seconds before Dan encased his mother in his arms and lifted her off the ground with yet another loud, _Happy New Year, Mom_, yelled in her direction. After being plopped back onto the ground, a solid arm folded around her shoulders, and she was again being wished _Happy New Year_, but this time by Chris who planted a noisy kiss on her cheek. And next, only seconds later, Sammy approached her and kissed her other cheek before squeezing her tightly in a quick hug.

This whole time, Bella acted like she was on autopilot. As she moved from one embrace to the next, her mind was remembering the feelings that had been awoken by her first New Year's kiss – the one that Edward had given her. She wondered for a moment if she'd stopped breathing, because it was as if she was in a scene from a movie where time for her stood still while the rest of the world buzzed on around her regardless.

Bella sucked in a deep breath trying to focus her thoughts when she was wrapped in yet another set of arms.

But these arms she knew. They were warm and soft and inviting. They made her feel safe. These arms belonged to Edward.

"Hey," he said quietly into her ear from his position behind her. "You ok?"

"Yeah," Bella said, relaxing against him, resting her own hands on top of his.

"You sure?" he asked, regarding her closely.

"Yeah," Bella replied again, less than eloquently.

The fireworks created a kaleidoscope of color above them, which was mirrored on the waters of the harbor below. It was a breath-taking sight that caught the attention of the thousands of people who had waited all year for this moment, and as the crowd watched the fireworks light the night sky, there were two people amongst them who were more aware of each other than the fireworks.

As Bella leaned back against Edward's body, he softly began to sway the two of them from side to side. Their bodies moved in sync with one another. Edward, after a day of denying himself such close contact, leaned the side of his face against Bella's and was relieved beyond words when he felt her return gentle pressure of her own.

Unseen by Edward, Bella closed her eyes. She allowed herself to focus entirely upon the feel of his rough stubble against the skin of her face. It felt right. There was no other way she could describe it.

They stayed this way, safe in their own little bubble, for the remainder of the display. When it finished ten minutes later, their intimate time together was broken by the movement of people around them. Reluctantly, Edward straightened up, releasing his tight hold on Bella and putting just a little distance between the two of them. Both of them immediately felt the loss of warmth between their bodies. Bella shivered a little as a result.

"That was great, wasn't it?" Cassie asked, looking at Bella for the first time since the display had finished.

"Yes, love. It was beautiful."

"Some of those rockets were fast. Did you see how high some of them went?" Chris stated, sounding like a ten-year-old boy.

"The whirly ones were my favorites," Sammy chimed in. "And the ones that changed color midway through...how do they do that?"

"I have no idea," Edward replied.

"That was just so good," Dan added, cuddling into Cassie.

"So where to from here?" Chris asked.

"Back into town?" Dan suggested.

"How about we go to another club?" Sammy asked. "I'm not ready to call it a night yet."

"What about you two?" Dan asked, directing his question to Bella and Edward. "Do you feel like partying on?"

"I don't think so," Bella said, laughing. "We've been here since just after three. I don't know about you," she said, turning to Edward, "but I'm beat."

"I don't think I'm up for too much more," Edward agreed.

"Oh, come on. The night's still young!" Chris declared.

"And so are you, but I'm a bit too old and a bit too tired for all-night partying," Bella said, pushing him playfully.

"And when you get a bit older, you'll notice the body doesn't bounce back as fast in the morning as it used to," Edward concurred.

"Never!" Chris replied, sounding horrified.

"It will happen to you too one day. Mark my words," Bella teased.

"So are you going to head off back home then?" Cassie asked, referring to their hotel in Manchester.

"Yeah. Well, we've got to make our way back to the car first, and then back to the hotel. It will still be an hour and a half at least before we get back there, and that's not too bad for ole-timers like us," Edward said, winking at Chris.

"If you stay and party, how will you get back to the hotel?" Bella asked the group, pragmatic as ever.

"Chris ended up driving his car in," Sammy piped up.

"Did you?" Bella asked in surprise.

"Ah huh."

"Well who's driving then? You've all been drinking."

"I'm driving home, Bella. No worries. I won't drink again tonight. Midnight was my curfew."

Bella eyed Chris, carefully."Are you sure? You don't want to be driving if you've been drinking," she reminded him.

"All's good. Really, Bella. I've only had two drinks all night. I'm the designated driver and I won't have another drop. Promise."

"I'll keep him to that, Bella," Sammy said. "Don't worry."

"If you're sure," Bella said in mother mode while giving Chris a knowing look. He nodded at her and gave her a wink, letting her know he understood her silent but clear message.

"So, where do you need to go to get your car, Mom?" Dan asked.

Slowly turning her attention away from Chris and back to Dan, she responded. "We'll get back on the T and head toward the Common. We parked in a garage off Stuart Street."

"I'm impressed," Edward said, nudging her shoulder with his own.

"Shut up you," Bella laughed, nudging him back.

The four younger ones watched this exchanged but didn't understand it.

"What was that about?"

"Your mother got us hopelessly lost on the way in here," Edward said.

"I wasn't the one with the map!" Bell exclaimed in mock horror. "I was simply following your lousy instructions."

"Sounds like an interesting trip in," Dan said.

"And quite possibly home," Chris finished for him.

"Well. We'll never get there unless we get going," Edward said, bringing their current conversation to a close. "You all be careful out tonight," he warned them before leaning in to kiss the girls farewell.

"Watch out for each other," Bella said, following Edward's lead and kissing Dan and Cassie goodnight.

"Stay together," Edward added as he shook hands with Dan and Chris in turn.

"And watch out for idiots on the road. You all might be safe, but you don't know what other idiots will be out there in the wee hours," she reminded them before kissing Sammy and then Chris goodnight.

"We will. We'll be fine," Chris reassured her again.

"Be careful," she said, looking at each boy in turn.

"Go, Mom. Relax. It's all good," Dan said, wanting to ease his mother's mind but also being slightly annoyed that she was pushing things so far.

"Come on, Bella. They've gotten the message," Edward said quietly to her, picking up on Dan's feelings.

"Well, then. Enjoy the rest of your night. We'll see you tomorrow sometime," Bella said, bidding them farewell.

"Maybe in time for lunch?" Dan said.

"They're serving breakfast 'til 11:30 tomorrow," Edward told him.

"Maybe a very late breakfast then," Dan said, putting his arm around Cassie again.

"Goodnight everyone. Happy New Year," Edward said before he turned to usher Bella away.

"Happy New Year," they all replied discordantly.

"Drive safely," Chris added cheekily.

Bella looked over her shoulder and gave him the evil eye in response to his cheekiness, before laughing and giving him a wink of her own.

Edward and Bella left the group and strolled off together from the wharf and toward the closest T station. They walked side by side, Bella's hand tucked into the nook of Edward's arm as it had been for most of the day, but this time was different for her. Throughout the day it had been an action of companionable friendship, but now, it was something much more intimate. She was acutely aware of her stride alongside Edward's – the way she rested her hand on his arm, the way their shoulders bumped into each other as they walked, the way her body seemed to be overly sensitive to each movement he made.

"You're quiet," he said to her as they neared the T station.

"Hmm. Just tired, I suppose."

"Have you had a nice day?"

"A fantastic day. I can't remember enjoying a day like this since...well...forever."

Edward smiled at that. "I've had a great day, too. My best one in a long time."

"I'm glad that you got to spend New Year's with Dan. That's an important milestone for you both."

"Yes, it is," Edward agreed, "but I'm glad I got to spend New Year's with you, too, Bella."

Bella's heart began to beat just a little bit faster, and it had nothing to do with the cold night air or the brisk pace they were setting as they walked to the subway.

"I'm glad I got to spend it with you, too," she said softly, sounding a little short of breath.

Edward squeezed her hand affectionately, and she smiled at him in response.

As they descended the stairs to the subway and waited on the platform for the next train, Edward deliberately kept in close proximity to Bella. Since stealing a not-quite-so-chaste kiss from her at midnight and holding her close while they watched the fireworks, he was feeling slightly bolder about demonstrating the growing depth of his feelings for her. As he'd watched the fireworks with Bella in his arms, his revelation from the night before was even more solidified in his mind. His feelings for her were more than affection for the mother of his son. This beautiful, petite, smart, sassy woman next to him was consuming his thoughts more and more. He was totally fascinated by her, and it was clear to him that his body was responding to her of its own accord. There had been several times during the day when he had needed to adjust himself surreptitiously, his body's instincts leading his mind to what it should have recognized all along. She was capturing his heart, his mind and his body, and yet, it seemed that she was unaware of the effect she was having on him.

Edward and Bella were back at the parking garage within twenty minutes of having left the wharf. They located Bella's car, and she wordlessly offered Edward the keys, remembering their conversation from earlier in the evening. Edward gallantly opened the passenger's door for Bella who was a little shocked because she'd never before had a man honor her in such a way. She smiled at him politely as she settled herself in the car while Edward walked around to the driver's door, opened it and sat down. She retrieved the map from her bag and began to look for the quickest and most direct route out of town.

"We're not going to have any problems here are we, Ms. Swan?" Edward asked when he saw what she was doing.

"Not if you follow instructions well, Mr. Cullen," she answered, not looking at him.

"Mmm. So, have you worked out how to get out of here?"

"Starting the car might work."

Edward lowered his chin and raised his eyebrows at her in response. Had he been wearing his glasses, he would have been looking at her over the top of his rims.

Bella grinned at him and mirrored his actions. They stared at each other this way for a few seconds.

"Alright. You win," Edward said, breaking his stare as he realized Bella was going to hold her own in the situation.

"Good. Now drive," she said, swatting his upper arm with the back of her hand.

Edward started the car and backed it out of the parking spot.

"Are you always this much trouble?" he asked.

"I don't know. Me, myself and I tend to agree on most things so we don't argue much. It's a benefit of being single, you know."

"Touché," he laughed.

For the next fifteen minutes, much to his chagrin, Bella navigated Edward through the traffic until they were successfully out of town and headed back toward Manchester.

"Why don't you settle back and rest your eyes for a bit. It's a straightforward drive from here," Edward suggested kindly. He'd noticed that Bella had begun to rub her eyes once they'd left town and hit the highway.

"No, that's not right. I'll be fine," she answered.

"Bella, you're tired."

"But what about you?"

"I'm more than alert for the two of us. Trust me. I'll have us back at the hotel in under an hour. Rest up for a bit. I'll wake you when we get there."

"That doesn't seem right," Bella protested.

"It's OK. I promise you I won't fall asleep. Rest up."

"No. I'll keep you company."

"You don't have to."

"I'll be fine," Bella said unconvincingly, yawning in the process.

Edward looked at her briefly before returning his eyes to the road in front of them.

"I'll give you ten minutes before you're out cold."

It only took five.

* * *

A little over an hour later, Edward gently woke Bella as she sat sleeping in the passenger's seat.

"Bella?" Edward said quietly while shaking her shoulder gently.

"Mmm?"

"We're here. Wake up."

"Hmm? At the hotel?"

"Yeah."

"That was quick," Bella commented before sitting upright in the car and rubbing her eyes.

"It took me over an hour. I traveled a little slower 'cause I was a bit worried about ice on the roads."

"Wow. We're really here?" she said sleepily.

Edward laughed. "You're really not that good at waking up, are you?" he asked.

"Oh...shut up," Bella said.

Edward chuckled under his breath.

"Come on, sleepy head. Up you get," he said, standing up from his crouched position next to the opened car door while extending both of his hands to Bella to help her out of the seat.

Bella looked to his hand and then placed hers in his as she went to stand, only to be stopped by the seatbelt she had yet to unfasten.

"Oh," she said and she was kept pinned to her seat.

"Hang on a minute. Here. Let me," Edward said, leaning back into the car and across Bella to unclip her seatbelt.

Bella leaned back in her seat, Edward's close proximity awakening her and her senses more than she'd expected.

"Let's try that again," he said, moving back from her and extending his hands once more.

"Ok."

Edward helped Bella out of the car and nodded to the attendant who moved around to the driver's door to valet park the car in the underground parking garage.

"Come on," Edward said, putting his arm around her shoulder. "Let's get you up to bed."

"How long did I last?" Bella asked.

"Less than five minutes, I think."

"I'm sorry," she replied.

"Don't be. I told you I'd be fine."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Edward held Bella close to his side as they waited for the elevator. Once inside, he pressed the button for the 11th floor and nestled her against him, secretly enjoying the feel of her leaning against his body.

When the elevator doors opened, they walked out of it hand-in-hand as Edward led the way to Bella's door.

"Here we are," Edward said. "Where's your key?"

"In my bag," Bella said, foraging around in her large oversized handbag. "Got it!" she said, triumphantly holding it aloft.

She pushed the key card into the lock, and the light changed from red to green as the door clicked open.

"Well," she said, pushing the door ajar. "I'll see you in the morning for a late breakfast."

"Yeah. I'll call you to see when you're ready."

"Sounds good," Bella said shyly, noticing for the first time the small amount of chest hair that was visible above the top button of Edward's shirt. She frowned briefly, wondering why she hadn't noticed it at all before now.

"Well, then...goodnight, Bella," Edward said quietly. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," Bella repeated, still trying to work out why Edward's chest hair was noticeable now and not earlier..._His scarf...he's removed his scarf!_

"Sleep tight," Edward said as he leaned into kiss her good night.

Bella, finally pulling her attention away from the sight of the hair peeking out from his shirt, raised her head and looked into his eyes.

Edward, on the spur of the moment, decided to throw caution to the wind. For him, the day had been one of measured emotions and tentative demonstrations of his growing affection toward her, and he wasn't about to let a moment like this pass him by.

As Bella's eye's locked with his, he closed the distance between them and kissed her softly on the lips. Their kiss lasted only few seconds before he pulled back and kissed her once again on the forehead, and then bid her a quiet, _Good night_ stepping away from her.

Bella stood still, momentarily looking like a deer caught in headlights before she regrouped and repeated his final words and stepped inside her room, closing the door quietly behind her. She leaned against it and closed her eyes, thinking back over their final moments together. For the second time that day, her mind was sent into a flurry after a kiss from Edward.

_Oh, girl. What's going on here? _she asked herself silently.

In the meantime, Edward turned and walked across the corridor to his own room. In those three short strides, he came to three important decisions.

First, he knew he was no longer falling for Bella Swan. He'd already fallen…hard.

Second, he planned to change his and the girls' departure times on the second of January. He wanted to catch the late afternoon flight instead of the morning one. He planned on maximizing the time they all had left together.

And third, he promised himself that no matter what, he wouldn't repeat the mistakes of the past. He was due to leave in less than thirty-six hours...and he wouldn't love her then leave her.

Bella deserved much better than that.

* * *

AN:

Well everyone... I believe I got to most of the reviews this time around. If you didn't hear from me that's cause you've gotten your PMs disabled... or I inadvertently missed one... sorry!

This chapter proved difficult to write and I hope that everyone can appreciate that I am trying to keep this as "real" as possible... they're not going to jump each other just yet...and it would have been a disservice to the characters and the story to allow that to happen...yet...

To Grendel and Lalina...as always, my heartfelt gratitude.

To EMCxo... who read my "Boston Section" to verify that I got things as accurate as possible.

To Sunfeathers and FindTheWill...who months ago, gave me the knowledge and the wherewithall to find the information I needed for this chapter...I am indebted to the both of you...

And to everyone out there who is recing this story...my heart felt thanks.

Now... the people who visit the thread will already know this...

I won't be in a position to update for the next three to four weeks. I am taking my family on a much needed holiday to see the "in-laws" interstate...We are leaving this week and driving there (heaven help us all!) armed with multiple DVD players, computer games, books and my lap-top which I hope to be using when I'm not driving my share of the 4000km journey.

In the meantime, I would like to recommend a fic written by the lovely Anais Mark called Metaphysics. It is listed amonst my favourites here on FF (as well as quite a few others you might like to investigate). Metaphysics is a vamp fic and absolutely wonderful. She is a talented writer and a lovely person to boot! The story contains mystery and intrigue...all the kinds of things I like in a fic. It has a period aspect to it and the corresponding sections of writing are in keeping with that era - which is a talent in itself. I highly recommend it. Tell her I sent you.

I hope that you can forgive me for the break in posting. I will have the next chapter to you within a month - and that's a promise.

Until next time

Leisa


	38. Chapter 38

Hi Everyone.

Thanks for your patience.

Here you go.

SM owns. I enjoying making them different.

* * *

**Chapter 38 – Confusing Emotions **

It was just before ten the next morning when Edward called Bella to see what time she would like to have breakfast.

Agreeing to meet him in half an hour, she wasted no time getting herself ready. Promptly at ten-thirty, there was a knock on Bella's door announcing Edward's arrival. She grabbed her bag before opening it and greeted him warmly.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too," he responded in kind.

"You're right on time, as usual."

Edward laughed. It was something Bella was getting quite used to hearing.

"My family would never believe it. Seriously, I'm known for my tardiness. My sister's have complained about it for years. When they got married they each took it upon themselves to call me constantly to ensure I made it to the church on time," he recalled with a smile.

Bella stepped out into the corridor and pulled the door closed behind her.

"And did you make it to their weddings on time?"

"Mostly," Edward summarized. "Although for Rosalie's wedding it was literally like that scene from that movie…what was it? The one with that British guy where he was running to the church and the bridesmaid had her backside hanging out of the back of her dress."

"_Four Weddings and a Funeral_," Bella said, answering his question. "And which one, by the way, were you? Hugh Grant or the bridesmaid?" she asked as they began to walk toward the elevator.

Edward chortled. "Is that his name? And I'll have you know my dress wasn't as bad as hers, and it did set off the color of my eyes," he said, fluttering his eyelashes at her.

"Green then, was it?" Bella quipped, playing along.

"You noticed," Edward said. "My eyes, that is."

"Of course," Bella said.

"And yours are dark brown. Brown eyes. Dan's are just like them."

Bella's eyes narrowed, Edward's words triggering a long distant and previously forgotten memory. She stopped in her tracks as her mind flashed back to the past.

"What is it?" Edward asked her, halting alongside her.

"You called me that," Bella replied, furrowing her brows while concentrating on her scant memories.

"I called you what?"

"Brown Eyes. The night we met at the bar. You called me Brown Eyes."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Bella answered quietly.

"I don't remember that," Edward

"I hadn't either…until just now."

"Can you remember anything else?" Edward asked her, genuinely intrigued. He reached for her upper arm. He was desperate to connect with her and her memories of the past since he could recall very little of his own.

"I drank Coronas. I never drink Coronas," Bella said, still lost in the memory.

"Coronas were my standard fare back then," Edward whispered quietly as they stood facing each other in the corridor. "Anything else?" he asked again, filled with trepidation. Not having his own memories to draw upon, he feared finding out Bella's in case her vague recollections gave him cause for even deeper regret.

"You had a mullet," she giggled.

"Oh, gawd. Of all the things you could possibly remember about me, you remember that?"

"I always remembered you had a mullet," she admitted. "I'm just pulling your leg."

"Gee. Great. Thanks for that."

Bella started moving toward the elevator, and Edward fell into step beside her.

"So what about your own wedding?" she said, deftly redirecting their conversation. "Were you on time for that?"

Briefly taken aback by the sudden change of topic, Edward regrouped and laughed in response.

"Yes. I slept at my parent's place the night before and everyone had me up bright and early. I was dressed in my penguin suit three hours beforehand and had to hang around until the ceremony with my mother stressing about me spilling something on myself. We ended up playing pool in my father's study until we had to have photos taken."

"You must have looked very dapper in your penguin suit," Bella suggested.

"I scrubbed up all right," Edward replied, leaning forward to punch the button at the elevator.

"You must have made a striking couple."

"We didn't look too bad," Edward agreed vaguely.

The doors to the elevator opened and they stepped inside. There were five other people in it, and Bella and Edward smiled at them politely and rode the rest of the way to the lobby in silence.

Once they stepped out of the elevator, they made their way to the café for a late breakfast.

"Have you spoken to the kids this morning?" Bella asked as they neared the entrance where they were met by the smiling maître d'.

Both Bella and Edward bid good morning to the young lady before they were lead into the café.

"I called Dan and Cassie's room after you. They'll be joining us but not until eleven or so, I think," Edward said over Bella's shoulder as he followed her to their table.

"I thought they'd be a bit slow off the mark this morning," Bella concurred.

Helping Bella into her seat before taking his own, they then settled in with two piping hot coffees. Neither was in a hurry to get to the breakfast buffet this morning. It was while enjoying their coffee that Bella continued her line of questions from earlier.

"If you don't mind me asking, what was Tanya like?"

"You mean, what did she look like?" Edward asked.

"Yes," Bella said, sipping her coffee.

"Why?"

"Curiosity?"

Bella's question caught Edward off guard. He sipped slowly at his coffee while he contemplated his answer.

"Tanya was tall. Long blonde hair with a slight wave in it. She was fairly sporty, I suppose. She liked to exercise and kept herself pretty fit."

"Where did you meet?"

"At a college party."

"Was she into music?"

"Not the way I suspect you're thinking. She liked dancing and dance music, but playing music as in an instrument? No. The only music she played came out of a stereo."

Bella smiled at that.

Edward looked at her closely.

"What's with all the questions about Tanya?"

"I don't know," Bella said, not really wanting to admit that she was curious about Edward's previous relationship. _Relationship or relationships_ she wondered to herself. _Has he had more than one serious relationship? I've never thought to ask._

"Bella?"

"I'm just curious, you know?" she said, trying to explain her sudden interest in Edward's ex-wife.

"She's not a part of my life anymore."

"I know."

"Then why…"

Bella shrugged. "I'm just trying to get an idea of what you were like when you were younger, that's all. It dawned on me that you know a lot more about me as a younger person than I do about you."

"Fair enough…but why ask about Tanya?"

"I don't know…I'm sorry I brought it up."

"No, no. Don't be. It's fine. I told you I'm an open book. Ask me anything you like."

Bella took another sip of her coffee. Feeling inexplicably brave she blurted out her next question.

"I've just been wondering…why me?" she said, looking at him shyly.

"Excuse me?" Edward asked. He was growing more confused by the minute from Bella's questions.

"Why you slept with me all those years ago? I'm obviously not your type."

Edward drew his eyebrows together into a frown. He had absolutely no idea where these questions were coming from.

"What makes you think you're not my type?" he asked her.

"Well, I'm nothing like how you described Tanya, and I never have been…so I was wondering what it was that made you pick me out of all the people in that bar that night."

Edward sighed heavily. He placed his coffee cup on the table and looked directly at Bella. Bella's line of questioning worried him, and he couldn't explain why.

"I don't know, Bella. I really don't know. I have next to no memory of that night at all. I don't remember anything really until I woke up the next morning alone in my room. I didn't even really put together what had gone on until later in the morning. I…" Edward said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "I was stoned and drunk," he said, grimacing at the memory of his own behavior.

"So, you picked me up for no reason other than you thought I'd be an easy lay?"

"What? No!" Edward answered vehemently.

"But you just said you don't remember anything."

"I don't. But I…Bella," Edward said, stumbling through his words. "I would never think that of you."

"Not now, maybe, but then?" she said, looking at him directly.

"Oh, Bella. Please. Don't do this. My behavior back then was inexcusable. I was a selfish, drunk, dope-smoking college student. I …"

This morning's yet to be started breakfast was turning into a complete disaster. His residual excitement from the night before regarding his tentative demonstrations of his feelings for Bella was being washed away by a tide of bewilderment and anxiety.

Bella shut her eyes and tried to erase the images that were forming behind her lids.

She, too, was at a loss to explain her actions or her thoughts. This wasn't how she'd planned to start what was supposed to be their last morning together.

"Edward, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just too tired. I shouldn't have come down for breakfast this morning. I should just go back to my room and let you have breakfast with the kids, alone."

"No," he said, reaching for her hand across the table. "I don't want that."

Bella shrugged, drawing her lips together into a thin line before she removed her hand from his and went to gather her things. She didn't look at him.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked her in alarm.

"I'm just going to head back to my room for a bit. I don't really think I need breakfast this morning anyway and a bit of quiet time to pull my head together wouldn't hurt."

"Bella. I've got no idea where all this is coming from, but why do you have to go? Can't we just sit here and talk?"

"Oh, Edward…I'm feeling a bit…I don't know…out of sorts this morning," she said, trying to explain while not really understanding what was going on herself. "I really don't think I'll be good company. Let me catch up with you a bit later."

"Bella…"

"Hmm," she said, looking up at him, finally meeting his gaze.

"I thought we were past this."

"Past what?"

"Past you running away. Past you hiding your feelings from me. I thought you trusted me."

"I do," she said, still unable to put into words what she was feeling. How could she explain to Edward the doubts and fears that began to slowly meander through her mind after he kissed her goodnight last night? How could she explain that she felt somewhat thrilled but scared at the same time? How could she explain that what she was feeling unnerved her and undermined her newly-acquired confidence in their friendship?

"Then why run away?"

"I'm not."

"Aren't you?" he asked, looking at her closely while his mind desperately searched for reasons to make her stay. Edward was perplexed to say the least. He had no idea what had brought about Bella's sudden interest in Tanya. Punctuality…wedding talk…Tanya. He could see the link in their conversation but not whatever it was that led Bella to ask her final question.

Bella looked at Edward and frowned, hesitating. _Does he have a point? Do I really want to go back and revisit the past again? _

Edward picked up on her hesitation. He wanted to seize the moment. They had both come too far in the last week to fall back into old patterns of behavior.

"Come on, Bella. Let's go talk somewhere private. We can go for a walk if you like. Just let's talk this through. Please."

The war of words in Bella's mind continued to crescendo to a loud buzz. _Should I? Shouldn't I? Why should I?_

She looked to Edward and saw his beseeching expression.

"Please," he said quietly, sensing her continued indecision.

Bella agreed, nodding her head silently.

Without another word, Edward got up from his chair and stood behind Bella to help her from hers. He ushered her out of the café to the confused looks from the m'aitre d who'd gotten used to them being a regular fixture at breakfast each day. Edward offered her a curt smile as he silently led Bella past the entrance and out into the lobby.

"Where would you like to go?"

"I don't have my coat," Bella said.

"All right. Well, we can go upstairs and get it, and then go for a walk."

"All right."

Edward placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her over to the elevators, hoping with all his might that they wouldn't run into Dan, Cassie and Sammy on their way down to breakfast.

Fortunately, when the elevator doors opened, they were nowhere to be seen. After waiting for the elevator to empty, Bella and Edward entered, and he pushed the button for their floor.

Edward couldn't stop the flashbacks of memories that entered his mind, mirroring a similar situation just a week before.

_What's made her think back to that night in the nightclub? _he thought to himself, wanting desperately to believe that whatever was upsetting Bella this morning they could deal with together.

When he'd fallen asleep the night before, Edward had been worried that maybe his sneaky yet heartfelt parting kiss might have made things awkward between them this morning. He'd been grateful that it hadn't seemed the case…until the conversation had turned to Tanya, and then their ill-fated first night together…_what had been the link between those thoughts?_ He still failed to make a connection.

Bella and Edward traveled in silence to their floor. When the doors opened, once again, he gently ushered Bella out of the elevator and down the corridor towards their rooms.

"Are you all right enough to grab your coat?" he asked her quietly. "I'll meet you back out here."

"Do you mind if we talk here instead?" she asked, when they reached her door. "I don't really feel like going for a walk."

"Fine. If that's what you want to do."

She looked at him briefly, and a mixture of worry and uncertainty crossing her features as she reached into her bag to retrieve her key. Edward tried to smile reassuringly as she stepped past him and unlocked the door. Wordlessly, he followed her into her room and closed the door behind them before making his way to the table. Pulling out a chair, he sat down and watched as Bella as she fidgeted nervously with the buttons of her cardigan.

"Bella," he started, his voice strong and friendly. "What's upsetting that gorgeous head of yours? What's made you go back to the past?"

"I don't know, really," Bella said, turning to face him and stalling for time.

"I think you do," he said, regarding her closely. "We've gotten past keeping secrets. You can tell me anything," he reminded her.

"It's silly really," Bella said, trying to brush the whole thing aside.

"Then let's laugh at it together, shall we?" he said to her quietly, knowing full well that whatever was bugging her wouldn't be silly at all.

Bella looked at him, uncertainty written all over her face.

"Come on, Bella. Let's do what we do best together…talk things through. We've made huge strides in our friendship with each other this week. Let's keep that going forward."

Bella took a deep breath, finding an opening with Edward's words.

"I think that's what's taken me by surprise," she said, honestly. "This," she said, pointing back and forth between the two of them. "I hadn't expected this," she said, continuing her hand movements.

"What? Our friendship?"

"Yes."

"That we've become friends?"

"It's more than that. You've become someone who knows me…more than I've let anyone ever before. Even people who have known me for years don't know things you do now."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"No." Bella said quickly. "No, not at all. It's just that…I didn't expect to feel this way I feel now," she clarified. "And when we were talking about your wedding, I realized that even though you know me, I really don't know much about you and that made me think about your life before all of this…and what it was like. And then out of no where, the memory of you calling me Brown Eyes hits me. Then you described Tanya and what she was like…and I'm nothing like her. The complete opposite by the sounds of it. And that made me wonder what it was that attracted you to me in the first place, that night in the bar…and why you even bothered with somebody like me when there were so many other people there." Bella spoke in a rush, her thoughts trailing rapidly from one to another. "My mind went into a bit of a tailspin, and it's freaked me out a little bit knowing that our friendship has become so important to me…"

She trailed off, finishing her verbal vomit with an incomplete thought.

"Our friendship has become important to you?" Edward asked quietly, his mind grabbing hold of that thought, and his heart soaring upon hearing those words.

"Yes," she answered simply. "I mean, I feel closer to you than I have to anyone in a long time."

Bella crossed to the small table and sat opposite Edward before she continued.

"I've always been…I don't know…guarded, I suppose…with people. Always tending to keep to the sidelines by not ever really putting myself out there. And now you," she said, looking at him directly in the eyes, "you know so much about me…and you sense when I'm freaking out…and you calm me. You go out of your way to challenge me and talk to me…when you could just so easily walk away," she explained, raising her eyebrows almost daring him to tell her differently. "I'm not your concern here…Dan is," she continued. "Dan is your focus…and yet it seems like you are just as focused on me and our friendship as much as you are on Dan, and that is, well, it's lovely and special and…nice…but I don't understand why you'd do that. And yet I know that if you stopped…I'd miss it," she explained, her gaze now on the remnant of a small scrap of paper that had been left on the table in front of her, which she absentmindedly pushed around with her forefinger.

Edward watched her closely, his mind racing from all the things Bella had just told him.

_Is it possible that she's starting to feel for me what I feel for her?_

Excitement began to build in his chest, and he had to force himself to attend to what she was saying rather than his spiralling emotions.

"And now it seems," Bella continued on, drawing a deep breath and completely unaware of Edward's musings, "it seems like all of a sudden, you're leaving…and before we know it, you'll be back across the other side of the country, and…I'm going to miss this," she said honestly, gesturing between the two of them again. "I'm going to miss you being here to talk to…to share things with. It's like, in a day or so, I'm going to have to put this Bella away again and bring out the old Bella…the one that wears the suit of armour…and go back to my life the way it was before." Bella took another deep breath. "It scares me to think that once you go home…we'll lose all of this."

Edward reached across the table for her hands and held them in his own. He didn't speak aloud, however, the look he gave her spoke volumes. He understood her concerns, for he, too, had been silently dreading the same things.

Edward's actions gave Bella the strength to admit something to him that she had only just really worked out for herself.

"I think you're the first real friend I've had in a very long time…and you're leaving…just after I've found you…or you found me…or Dan found you…or whatever the hell has gone on the last month or so," Bella said, trying to make humor lessen the impact of her words.

"Bella," Edward whispered her name quietly. After her admissions, he was struggling to keep his feelings for her in check. He rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs in what had become a familiar caress to them both. Edward did momentarily consider telling her that his feelings for her ran deeper than what she thought, but he was worried that Bella's reaction to such a declaration would negatively affect their friendship; a case of too much, too soon. So, he answered as honestly as he could at this point.

"I'm Dan's father, but I've also become your friend, and I will remain your friend, first and foremost. I promise you that. I can be both. I can do both."

She looked up at him, tears in the corners of her eyes. Edward couldn't tell if they were tears of sadness or relief.

"I don't want to lose what we've found here either," Edward explained. "And I really respect the trust you have placed in me this week. I will keep your confidences sacred, and I will never discuss your most private memories or thoughts with another – ever."

Bella offered Edward the gentlest of smiles, and in a completely unsolicited response, showing the true depth of his feelings for her, Edward reached up and used his thumb to wipe away a stray tear that had begun to slide down her cheek. As he did, his fingertips gently bushed along the hairline at the back of her neck, and Bella closed her eyes against the sensation, her stomach clenching in response providing her with yet more evidence that her feelings for Edward were changing significantly.

Edward tried to measure his actions. Bella deserved so much more than someone who would love her then leave her. He had to remind himself again of the promise he had made to himself the night before. Bella spoke the truth. In a day's time, he would be leaving and flying back to his home across the other side of the country. He wouldn't allow history to repeat itself. He was a grown man now and fully understood the consequences of his actions. While he desperately wanted to show her the feelings he had for her, any physical intimacy, even if just a kiss, would only complicate their parting, and they both knew that there would be enough for everyone to contend when their group parted the next day without having to add yet more emotional pain into the mix.

Edward removed his hand from her face and once again took both of hers in his.

"I want to talk about what happened at the night club that night," he said quietly.

Bella closed her eyes and shook her head slightly from side to side.

"Edward. Please…really…there's no need. It was stupid of me to bring it up this morning," she said.

"What you said before is true," he said, ignoring her protest. "You don't really know much about my life back then."

"I'm really embarrassed I brought it up," Bella said. "Let's not go back over old details. It won't serve any purpose, and it has no bearing on who we are now as people."

"You wouldn't have brought it up unless something about it was bothering you, Bella."

Bella went to interrupt again to stop the conversation from going any further but Edward sensed it and stopped her before she could start. He squeezed her hands in his and held her gaze when she looked at him.

"Let me tell you a bit about myself from back then," Edward said. "Please."

Bella looked at him and pulled her lips into a tight line. She did deeply regret her momentary lapse from earlier in the morning when she had asked Edward if she had been nothing more than an easy lay.

"It's important to me that you understand some things."

Bella didn't know if she was going to like what she was going to hear, but Edward's earnest pleas wore down her resolve. He had listened to her and her deepest, darkest secrets. She owed him the same.

Bella nodded her head and looked at Edward.

"All right."

"Good. Well…where do I start?" Edward said to himself trying to order his thoughts. "That summer, only a week or two before that trip, I inherited a large amount of money from my birth parents' estate. I had just turned twenty-one, and under the terms of their wills, money from their estate was to be held in trust until that time. My parents, Esmé and Carlisle," he said, clarifying to avoid any confusion on her part, "had never reared me any differently from either of the girls, but then, when I turned twenty-one, I suddenly had access to all this money that I hadn't even known about until a few months before that. They had been rightly worried about the effect inheriting that money would have on me. I'd been a rebellious teenager for quite a while, and with the formation of the band and my independent streak, combined with my less than stellar attitude, I felt I had the world at my feet and could do anything I wanted. Honestly, my behavior was way out of control that night. I'd had a steady girlfriend for some of the time I was at college but we'd broken up before that trip. I wasn't in the habit of picking and choosing from the groupies that hung around the band. Some other members of the band weren't quite so discerning though, and it was usually me that ended up finding someplace to crash for the night while they bought random girls back to our room. I started to drink heavily that trip, and the money from my inheritance meant that I didn't have to watch my dough that holiday, that's for sure," he laughed to himself, remembering his miserly ways during his earliest college years. "Anyway, for whatever the reason, I cut lose that night. I remember that I started drinking earlier in the afternoon, and by the time we started to play, I was well and truly on my way. I don't remember when we got the dope, and I don't really remember meeting you. I don't have any clear recollections of us going back to my room."

"What do you remember?"

"I remember waking up the next day with the hangover from hell. I remember trying to recall what the hell went on, and then I remember…" he continued before his voice trailed off.

"What?"

"I remember finding the bloodstains on the sheets and not realizing at first what that meant. At first, I thought that'd maybe I'd fallen down and hurt myself on the way back to my room." He guffawed wryly, and then took his hands from hers and held them over his face, effectively hiding himself from view.

Bella, too, hung her head, that particular memory bringing with it deep shame and regret.

Edward took a deep breath and removed his hands from his face to look at her.

"Bella, I am just so sorry for that. I…there are just no words for how I felt when I began to get flashbacks as to what happened."

Bella didn't look up at him. Her head still hung low, shielding her eyes from view.

"Please, Bella. Look at me."

When Bella didn't respond, Edward tried again.

"Please," he said simply, while taking one of her hands in his and squeezing it gently.

She looked up at him. In her eyes, he saw pain and embarrassment.

"What made you come back to my room? Why did you?"

It was Bella's turn to breath deeply, steading herself for even more revelations.

"I was tired of being Daddy's little good girl. Everyone else was out having fun, and I was always toeing the line…doing the right thing…being the good girl. I just wanted to have some fun. I just wanted to be like everyone else."

"I am so sorry I did that you, Bella. Your first time shouldn't have been at the selfish hands of a drunk."

"Honestly, I don't remember much of it. I'd had quite a bit to drink myself by that point. I don't really remember anything after leaving the bar at the end of the gig, and even that is decidedly blurry."

Some silence settled between them before Edward asked his next question.

"What do you remember?"

Edward had asked Bella that question a couple of times already this trip, and each time she had managed to avoid answering it. Not this time.

"I remember you tasted like cigarettes," she said softly. "That's my strongest recollection, aside from the hair," she smiled.

Edward exhaled slowly.

"I remember you had long brown hair and that your skin was soft and smooth," he offered in a whisper.

Bella closed her eyes.

"I was so embarrassed when I woke up in the morning. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I slipped out of the bed and tried to find my clothes around the room hoping like crazy you wouldn't wake up so I could just sneak away. I was silently berating myself for being so stupid, and I felt like…" Bella didn't finish that sentence. She couldn't. "I'd forgotten all about writing that note. I didn't remember it at all until Dan came home and told me you still had it and that he'd seen it, and then I was embarrassed all over again."

"When I found the note, it didn't make any sense to me. It wasn't until a little while later after the painkillers had kicked in and my mind started to clear that it dawned on me what it was all about." Edward spoke from the heart with his next sentence. "You changed my life that night Bella. In more ways than one, and I could never have expected that single night could have such far reaching consequences."

"Me either," Bella said, agreeing. "I just wanted to get out of there and put it behind me…but that wasn't meant to be."

"Bella, I need you to know. I wasn't that guy. Not deep down…I wasn't the sex-driven band guy you met that night…not really. I was a stupid guy who'd been trying to be someone he wasn't. You woke me up to that. You brought about more change in my life that one night than any other event in my life…and now you've done it again. My life will never be the same, and I don't want to ever go back to being the lonely and isolated man I had become up until last Thanksgiving. You've brought out the better man in me. You experienced the worst and have now helped me find the man I've always wanted to be. I don't want to lose that nor what we've found. I don't want to surrender our friendship and our new found trust to the tyranny of distance and time. I want to keep what we have and see what the future has in store for us – you, me and Dan, together. I want us to be able to share in our son's future, and I want us to continue to be close – to give our son everything the past has never provided him – two loving parents who are there for their son and each other whenever we're needed."

Edward was even more perilously close to laying the full depth of his feelings on the table in front of them. He had to hold himself back from reaching for her and pulling her to him. His belly and chest ached from the emotions he fought valiantly to keep in check. He knew he'd said enough for one morning. He instinctively knew that putting too much out there could scare Bella away.

Edward was wise enough to realize that there were very few times when life gave you second chances, especially when you had so frivolously thwarted the first. He understood now that time could be their greatest ally rather than their enemy. He would give Bella the time needed to adjust to his role in their lives. He would give himself time to sort through his feelings for her, and he would give their relationship the time it needed to develop naturally and strengthen along the way as he was sure it would. Edward was certain that with time and trust and honesty, he would get the chance to have everything he ever wanted - to be a loving father in a loving relationship. He just had to be patient enough to allow time to do its job, to let it reveal their future slowly and to cherish each moment in the journey along the way.

"I'd like that," Bella responded.

Edward sucked in a quick breath before reminding himself that Bella was responding to what he had said, and not what he'd been thinking.

"Me, too," he said, recovering and smiling at her.

"Thank you," Bella said simply.

"For what?" Edward replied, taken aback.

"For being you, for caring."

"How could I not?" Edward asked her sincerely. "When what I have to care about is you and Dan."

"You make it all sound so simple."

"In my mind, now, it is."

Bella looked into his eyes and smiled at him, a smile that he returned from his heart and soul.

Their moment, however, was broken by the sound of Edward's stomach growling loudly.

"Excuse me," he said, laughing to cover his embarrassment.

"Are you hungry there, Mr. Cullen?"

"It seems so, Ms. Swan."

"The kids must surely be at breakfast by now and wondering where the devil we are."

"Probably."

"Sounds like we should be joining them."

"Are you up for that?" Edward asked her, concerned that maybe she needed more time to deal with everything they had spoken about.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely," Bella said, sounding positive and determined. "Forget my momentary lapse this morning. It was just a bit of silliness," she said, waving it away with her hand.

"Never."

Bella looked at Edward quizzically.

"What you think and how you feel is important to me. Keeping things to yourself won't help any of us move on from here. Honesty and trust is what we have built this week, and we can't let that slip, even with the distance between us."

"OK."

"OK?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"And so do I. I promise to always be honest and true with you. No secrets," he added for good measure.

"No secrets," Bella agreed.

Edward smiled warmly at her. "And I believe this is called progress."

"Indeed it is."

They both smiled. They were doing that a lot nowadays.

"Breakfast?"

"Or what's left of it by now."

"Let's go," Edward said, standing and holding out his hand for Bella, "and grab your coat. If there's not much left, we might have to go out for a bite."

"Right," Bella answered, looking around the room for her coat while holding onto Edward's hand. "It's there," she said, pointing to the love seat in her room.

Edward dropped her hand and crossed to collect it while Bella picked up her bag.

They made their way to the door, Edward, as always, stepping aside to let Bella through first before closing the door behind him.

"Give me a minute, and I'll get my coat," he said as he crossed the hall to his door.

"Take your time," Bella offered as he slipped inside.

Moments later, they were standing side by side at the elevator doors waiting for a ride to the lobby. When the doors opened, they were met by several astonished sets of eyes.

"Where have you been?" Dan questioned his parents. "We got down to breakfast, and the maitre d' said that you'd been and gone but hadn't eaten. Breakfast's all but over," he continued as he, Cassie, Sam and Chris stepped out of the elevator to meet them.

"Is everything all right?" Cassie asked thoughtfully.

"Everything's fine, Cass," Edward replied looking at her and then Dan. "Bella needed to come back upstairs to get her coat 'cause we thought we might like to go out for a walk after breakfast, and we started chatting and lost track of the time, I suppose," Edward said, trying to explain their unexpected absence from breakfast without revealing any of the specific reasons as to why. He glanced at his wristwatch briefly to reinforce the point.

Edward, focusing his attention on Dan and Cassie, didn't notice Sammy's shrewd look at the two of them, but Bella did. She smiled at Sammy, trying to back up the innocence of Edward's story, and while Sammy returned her smile, Bella didn't believe she bought the explanation.

"So, I take it you all have eaten then?" Edward asked, redirecting the conversation.

"Yeah," Dan replied. "I doubt there'd be much left down there now though."

"Not to worry," Edward replied nonchalantly. "We can go to a café down the road. Do you have plans for the morning?" he asked the group.

"Ah, well, we thought we'd just hang around really," Cassie said, "seeing as we're leaving so early in the morning."

"Yes. About that. I was wanting to tell you all at breakfast, but we seem to have missed that boat. I called the airlines this morning and changed our flights. We're on the 5 P.M. flight, instead of the 5 A.M. one. I thought everyone might appreciate having another day together."

"Really?" Cassie exclaimed.

"You did?" Bella questioned, wondering why he hadn't mentioned anything to her before now.

"That's great!" Dan declared, reaching out and putting his arm around Cassie's shoulders.

Edward was grinning broadly, glad that his actions were met with such obvious happiness. Sammy and Chris were yet to say much, but Bella, already alerted to Sammy's nonvocal reactions, noticed a brief, yet definite, silent exchange between the two. She also noticed Chris reposition himself so that he was standing next to Sammy – in very close proximity. She wondered briefly whether or not he had whispered something to her, but if he had, she hadn't caught it.

"I called your parents, too, and despite your father's grumbling about a late night pick up, Sam, they're all meeting us at the airport when we arrive. You won't get home until after midnight, but it gives us all another day together here, so I thought it was a good idea."

"A very good idea," Dan said, looking down at Cassie.

"And we have a late check out, too. I spoke to the front desk this morning, and we don't need to be out of our rooms until two o'clock tomorrow afternoon, so the breakfast we can do breakfast together tomorrow morning, " Edward concluded, looking to Bella and giving her the quickest of winks.

The kids were chatting excitedly among themselves at this extra piece of news, so Bella took the moment to draw Edward's attention.

"You have been busy this morning, haven't you?"

"It's a new year with a new start, Bella. I didn't seem any point in wasting any of it," he whispered to her quietly while looking at her intently.

"So," Edward said loudly, looking back towards the kids and gaining everyone's attention again. "Plans for today, since we have more time up our sleeves than you thought?"

"I don't know…" Cassie said, thinking aloud.

"Lunch?" quipped Chris, who received a none-too-gentle elbow to the stomach from Cassie in response.

"Well," Edward said, directing the conversation again, "I was wondering if anyone would like to go ice skating?"

"Ice skating?" Sammy repeated, her attention moved from Chris who was exaggeratingly rubbing his stomach.

"Ah-huh," Edward confirmed.

"I haven't been ice skating in years," Sammy said, her voice reflecting a mixture of excitement and alarm.

"It's simple, babe. Keep your bum off the ground and your feet on the ice, and I'll pull you around. Too easy!" Chris said from his new position tucked behind her, where she couldn't elbow him again quite so readily.

"And you can skate, I suppose," Sammy said, sounding snarky and looking over her shoulder at him.

"New Hampshire boy," Chris said, confirming the obvious. "I was born with skates on!"

"Your poor mother," Sammy retorted.

"You don't know the half of it," Dan said, verbally sledging Chris.

"Shut up," Chris replied, rolling his eyes.

"She's got a couple more just like him at home, Sam," Dan reminded her.

"It's lucky the woman's still sane," she said.

Both Edward and Bella chuckled under their breaths at that last comment. While Bella had only met Chris' entire family once or twice, they were a force unto themselves. In Bella's opinion, Sammy really had no appreciation of just how true a comment that was.

"So, are we skating or what?" Edward asked. "We can't spend our time standing in the corridor all day discussing the emotional fortitude of Chris' mom."

"I'm in," Chris piped up immediately.

"Us, too," Cassie answered for both she and Dan.

"OK. Me, too," Bella answered, smiling and looking at Dan and Cassie, noticing again just how close the two of them had become. Dan had moved to wrap his arms around Cassie, his chin resting gently on her shoulder. She leaned back into him and had her hands resting naturally on top of his that rested on her stomach. They were the epitome of togetherness, and she knew in her heart that her son would hurt dreadfully when he and his girl were to separate tomorrow.

"Sam?" Edward asked, looking over to the one member of their group who had yet to commit.

Everyone else in the group followed suit.

"Oh. All right," Sammy agreed.

"You'll be right, babe. I got your back," Chris said, wanting to sound encouraging.

"It's not my back I'm worried about," Sammy grumbled under her breath at him.

"Then I'll take care of that bit, too," Chris retorted, and using both hands, slapped Sammy's butt cheeks noisily.

"Hey!" Sammy said, spinning around to hit Chris on the shoulder.

Bella actually guffawed aloud at Chris' brashness, and yet, his actions provided confirmation that Chris and Sammy had, in fact, started a little holiday romance of their own over the last week.

Dan and Cassie didn't hide their own amusement, both of them laughing loudly.

Edward, too, smirked at the events playing out before him while his mind automatically began to wonder just how complicated tomorrow afternoon's airport farewell was going to become.

And so, two hours later, after Bella and Edward had caught a very late morning coffee and croissant at a local café nearby, the group found themselves lacing up their rented skates at the JFK Memorial Coliseum, an ice-skating rink in Manchester. Both Dan and Chris took charge of the girls as they led them out onto the ice, eager as always to get moving. With raucous laughter, Cassie and Sammy slowly found their skating legs – well, at the very least, they learned how to maintain their balance.

Bella, not unfamiliar with skating but not what one could call proficient, managed to stay on her feet and had a wonderful time. She and Edward, who proved quite competent himself, completed slow circuits of the rink, skating hand in hand. They chatted and joked like the firm friends they had become, and shared smiles and quips with each of the kids as they passed by.

All-in-all, it was an enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours. Chris and Dan mucked around on the ice a little here and there, even racing each other at one point and regularly made the girls squeal in their attempts to trip them over. The boys thought these activities were hilarious but such hilarity wasn't always mirrored by the girls.

Hot Coffees and chocolates with some warmed Danish pastries after skating topped off a relaxing afternoon and it was a little after four when the group finally made their way back to the hotel to prepare to go out for a last night dinner Edward had organized at a local restaurant. Forever observant, Bella wondered what clothes Chris would wear, but it became apparent that he had packed some extras. When the group met again in the lobby at six o'clock, he was changed and dressed to impress.

After enjoying pre-dinner drinks in the bar before heading out to waiting taxis, they made their way to the restaurant where they dined on a range of dishes and drank their way through a couple of bottles of wine. The six of them had a lovely evening, everyone silently pushing away the intrusive thoughts that this was their last chance for an evening meal together.

As they left the restaurant to return to the hotel, the kids decided to catch a cab, eager to spend time alone together, but Edward and Bella decided to take one last late night stroll. The group parted with promises to meet for breakfast at nine in the morning, and Edward and Bella, in their coats, gloves and scarves, waved goodnight to the foursome as their cab pulled away.

"So, Ms. Swan," Edward said, reaching for her hand and tucking it into his arm.

"So, Mr. Cullen," Bella responded in kind.

"Do you know which way we're headed?"

Bella laughed. "No idea. I thought you knew!"

He leaned close to her and whispered in her ear. "If I lead, will you follow?" he asked her quietly, the conversation taking on an entirely different intensity in a matter of moments.

Bella pulled back and looked at him in the eyes. "I trust you, Edward."

"As I do you, Bella."

He leaned in and gave her a chaste but meaningful kiss on her forehead. Pulling back, he gently guided her down the sidewalk.

"We've come a long way this past week, haven't we?" he asked her, striking up their conversation.

"We most certainly have."

"This morning, you said that our friendship has become very important to you. I want you to know that it has become extremely important to me, too."

Bella nudged his side, acknowledging his words but finding it difficult at the moment to form her own.

"This isn't just about Dan anymore," Edward continued, "not for me."

Bella remained silent as they walked side by side, but she rubbed his upper arm with her free hand. She couldn't believe after all the talking they had done this past week that words were failing her now.

Edward allowed the comfortable silence to settle between them. He was enjoying her little show of affections – her silent touches, her shy but meaning-filled glances in his direction, her gentle and reassuring smiles.

It was several minutes later when Bella finally spoke.

"Have you given any thought as to how we manage things at the airport tomorrow?"

Edward sighed heavily. "I've thought about it. I've run a couple of scenarios through my head, but no matter how I see it, it's going to be tough."

"I know. I'm kind of dreading it actually."

"It can't be avoided," he said, squeezing her hand that rested on his arm.

"I know," she agreed again, "especially now that Chris and Sammy seem to have hooked up."

"That always seemed inevitable to me," Edward said.

"Really?"

"The lady doth protest too much," Edward paraphrased. "Chris is a lot like Emmett in many ways. I thought there was a spark there early on, before we came out, even."

Bella looked up at him and raised her eyebrows, silently encouraging him to continue.

"She used to describe him as a Neanderthal. I know they were more or less forced to spend a lot of time together when they traveled, but I kinda gathered that there was a bit of a spark then, too."

"You're very perceptive for a man."

"Now that sounds like a back-handed compliment, if ever I've heard one," Edward said, nudging her shoulder.

"It wasn't meant to be," Bella said, apologizing. "It's just that you're very in touch with your feelings and that's not something that I expect for a guy. Guys are usually the strong, silent type, are they?"

"It's taken me a long time to learn to open up emotionally, Bella. Open up the right way, that is," he said, silently remembering his rebellious teenage years. "And I'm still a work in progress. I told you this morning. I'm a different man now than I was a month and a half ago. You've given that to me. You've brought that out in me, and it feels good. I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time."

Bella's emotions, already so close to the surface, refused to be held back any longer. She stopped walking, and Edward moved around to face her. She lowered her face, trying to mask her tears.

"What is it?" he asked her quietly.

"You say the darndest things sometimes," she said, sniffling.

"What?" he said, reaching for her chin and lifting her eyes to meet his.

"You're happy?" she croaked.

Edward smiled at her.

"Very."

She smiled back at him.

"So am I."

"Oh, Bella," he sighed as he reached for her and cradled her face in both his hands, his thumbs brushing away her errant tears.

"And I'm sad, too."

"Why are you sad?" he asked her gently.

"'Cause tomorrow all this ends and you go home and…" her voice trailed off.

Edward rubbed her cheeks again with his thumbs.

"And what, Bella?"

Bella shook her head slightly in his hand.

Edward used the one phrase that always seemed to resonate with her.

"Talk to me," he whispered quietly.

Bella closed her eyes and took a steadying breath before she opened them to look directly into Edward's. She struggled to conceal her growing feelings for him. He was leaving tomorrow, and she would not expose herself to that kind of situation, ever again, no matter whom it was with.

"Dan's had a traditional family for the very first time: a mom and a dad," she started quietly, willing her voice to cooperate. "And he's had Cassie and he's just been so happy. He's positively beaming, and tomorrow all that disappears for him, and it's breaking my heart knowing how sad he's going to be and I can't do a thing to stop it."

Edward listened to what Bella said. To be honest, he experienced a flash of disappointment. He'd hoped that maybe she'd admit that she was going to miss him and had she done that, he knew he would have been hard pressed not to kiss her openly where they stood.

It took him the briefest of moments to regroup and push that personal disappointment away. Of course, Bella's first concern would be for her son. She was a mother after all, and he knew from experience of his own mother's ultimate concern for her children time and time again. Bella was no different, and understanding this part of her was vital to understanding Bella the woman.

"We'll help them, Bella. They'll get through this. They've been separated before," he said, caressing the back of her head with one hand as he tried to reassure her.

"But it will be different this time. They're so much closer."

"I know."

"They love each other, Edward."

"And they'll work this out. They're only young. They've got time on their side and their families," he added as his hands came to rest of her shoulders.

"It just makes me so sad," Bella said, fresh tears forming.

"I know," he said, pulling her into his arms and allowing himself the intimacy of kissing the top of her head. "I know."

Bella nestled in Edward's embrace and tried as she might, the tears continued to spill.

_How can I explain everything that I'm feeling when I don't really understand all of it myself?_ she thought as she stood there being comforted by the man whom she realized had come to be so much more than just her friend and Dan's father.

"The future is more than just tomorrow, Bella," he said, rocking her gently from side to side. "Tomorrow is just another day on the journey. Let's handle it when we get there, OK?"

Bella nodded her head against his chest.

He gave her a moment longer to collect herself. He was enjoying the feel of holding her in his arms, and he knew that this moment would have to be enough for him – for now.

Finally, he pulled away slightly and brushed some stray strands of hair from her eyes.

"Do you want to walk some more or do you just want to grab a cab?"

"Can we get a cab? I'm feeling a little chilly all of a sudden." It was true. Bella felt goosebumps form along the hairline at the back of her neck. She wondered silently if they were caused by her leaving Edward's embrace.

"Sure. Let's try and flag one down," he answered, reaching for her hand as he turned and started to scan the street and the passing traffic. They walked silently side by side along the sidewalk toward the next major intersection. It took only a further minute or two before they were seated in the back of a cab and headed toward their hotel.

They traveled in relative silence, each with their own private thoughts. Bella was surprised when they pulled up at their hotel only minutes after getting into the cab.

"I've got this," Edward said unnecessarily while handing cash forward to the driver. He'd paid for every cab ride they had taken during their stay, and Bella hadn't even thought about retrieving her wallet from her bag.

They alighted from the cab and silently made their way into the lobby and over to the elevator. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, though. They both instinctively felt that words weren't needed to maintain their connection.

As they stepped into the elevator, and Bella pushed the button for their floor, they looked at each other and the atmosphere changed. They both felt it. For the first time in a while, awkward smiles were exchanged, neither really knowing what to say to the other.

Their awkwardness was interrupted by the ping of the elevator as the doors opened up onto their floor. They stepped out, and Edward reached for Bella's hand as they moved off down the corridor toward their rooms. He squeezed her hand trying to re-establish the intimate connection they had just minutes before, and Bella returned his pressure wordlessly.

They stopped outside Bella's door.

"Well, I suppose this is goodnight," Bella said, looking up at him.

"Yes, it is."

"I've had a lovely time this evening," Bella said, cringing as the words left her mouth. _This isn't a date, Bella._

"I've had a wonderful week," Edward returned, not letting go of her hand.

"Me, too." _Don't cry, Bella, don't you dare cry again,_ she warned herself.

"I'll pick you up for breakfast?" he asked, unnecessarily. He always walked her to breakfast.

"That would be lovely." _How formal did that sound, you twat! Oh God, could this get any more awkward? Just say goodnight._

"Have you got your key?"

"Yes," Bella replied snapping out from her internal musings. She rustled through her bag and retrieved it.

"Allow me," Edward said, reaching for it and gently removing it from her fingertips.

"Thank you," Bella said, trying to not be overwhelmed by his closeness as he leaned across in front of her and swiped her room key in the lock.

"There. All done," Edward said, pushing forward to open the door and then leaning back slightly but not far enough.

His breath brushed against her hair, making her nerves tremble as a result and the butterflies in her stomach erupt. She smiled weakly, focusing on the button at the top of his coat. She couldn't look at him at the moment. She knew that would be her undoing.

"Goodnight," she said quietly, so quietly that had he been any further away, he might not have heard it.

"Goodnight, Bella," he said, and leaning in just a fraction more, he kissed her hair just behind her ear. In doing so, his cheek nuzzled against the side of her face. She closed her eyes to the sensation. It was their most intimate moment to date, and she held her breath, overwhelmed by him.

Edward hesitated for the briefest of moments before pulling away and squeezing her hand then releasing it for the night.

Bella opened her eyes, looked to him and smiled softly as she used her weight to further open the door.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said, finally stepping back from her and allowing her to move into her room and gently close the door.

Edward stood in the corridor and put a hand up against the doorframe, leaning against it. He breathed deeply, focusing his eyes on the slit at the bottom of the door and watching the light escaping from it change in intensity as Bella began to move into her room, turning on more lights as she went.

_You've_ _done the right thing, man_, his inner voice consoled him. _Bella deserves more than what you can give her right now._

_Then why does it suck so much? _His alter ego argued.

'_Cause the good things in life worth having are worth waiting for, _his good-guy self reasoned_. And Bella's worth it._

* * *

_AN: _To G and L - major cuddles for this one.

I am going to rec a story again. Have you ever wondered what might have happened if Edward hadn't been able to save Bella at the end of the first book?_That Pain to Miss_ by HelenahJay - the link is in my profile. It's another vamp fic and it's almost complete. It's uniquely different and she has woven aspects of canon into it but in different ways to the original. Tell her I say "Hi".

Thanks again for sticking with me during my break. I hope to have the next chapter up within a fortnight. We're coming to the twelve month anniversary of this fic. I posted the first chapter on July 19 last year. If anyone had told me I'D STILL BE WRITING IT twelve months later, I would have told them NO WAY...but here I am, still writing, and here you are, still reading. I hope you can stick it out with me 'til the end.

Until next time

Leisa


	39. Chapter 39

Hi everyone. Here's the latest chapter.

SM owns - I play - you know the drill by now.

and btw, there is a set of 6 consecutive text messages in the middle of this chapter that no matter how I tried to format them (and I have made seven seperate attemtps at it), FF wouldn't display them as I'd set them out... so I have tried to distinguish between them by alternating between italics and bold font. Don't ask me what's gone wrong - obviously it is for a mind greater than mine to determine and solve!

Enjoy

* * *

**Chapter 39 – Back to Routine**

Bella had just turned onto the highway heading towards home when she heard her phone chime from its position in the phone holder on the dash of her car. She reached for it and opened her text messages. There was a new one from Edward.

**Cassie's OK now.**

**About to board the plane.**

**How's Dan doing?**

**And U**?

Bella glanced quickly at the clock in her car. She checked her mirrors and pulled over to the side of the road. Hastily, she tapped out a reply.

**Glad to hear Cassie's OK.**

**Chris has taken Dan to get drunk, I think.**

**He's bringing him home later.**

**I'm on my way home.**

**Travel safe.**

After sending it off, she waited patiently to see if there was a reply coming. She didn't have to wait long.

**You're alone? Drive safe.**

**Can you text when u get home?**

**That way I'll know u got there OK**

**Dan's getting drunk? **

**He's gotta work 2morrow!**

Bella smiled at the message. She answered him just as promptly.

**I know! Chris said he'd look after him.**

**U can't get texts on planes, can u?**

His reply came within seconds.

**Doesn't sound good.**

**Yes. Can get texts.**

**So text. Please?**

_Hmmp_, Bella thought to herself. _You do learn something new every day._

**OK. Will do.**

Thinking that was the end of their texting, Bella replaced her phone and prepared to pull back out onto the road. She was surprised when the phone chimed again.

**Where are you now?**

Throwing the car back into Park, Bella answered quickly. She was much more capable with her phone now that she'd had it for a several months.

**Trying to pull back out onto the h'way.**

**I'll never get home at this rate. LOL.**

**U?**

This time Bella waited, for she was sure he would respond.

**Just in the line to board.**

**Will await your text.**

**Be safe.**

Briefly, she replied.

**OK! Promise to text.**

**Will be home in an hour or so.**

**Now get on that plane.**

Edward's response was very quick.

**Doing that now.**

**Talk soon.**

Bella smiled again while reading the last brief message and then, after replacing it in its holder for the final time, pulled back onto the highway and set off for home.

As she drove, her mind drifted back over the day's events. Breakfast had been a subdued affair. Edward and Bella had tried hard to maintain the buoyancy of the previous week but fought a losing battle. After breakfast, each couple had gone their separate ways. Chris and Sammy , the brightest of the group, had decided to go bowling, while Dan and Cassie headed out on their own.

Bella had been a little disappointed for Edward's sake that Dan wasn't spending a lot of time with him on their last morning together. When she'd mentioned as much to Edward, he'd said he didn't mind – he'd more or less expected it.

Bella had spent her morning helping Edward do some last minute souvenir shopping for his family–his mother and sisters in particular–apparently, his father and brothers-in-law weren't really into souvenirs. Bella had felt a little awkward buying something for women she didn't really know, especially Edward's mother to whom she'd never even spoken before. As they had shopped side by side, Edward talked a little bit about each person, and Bella had begun to get a better understanding of them. He'd spoken warmly of his family, and Bella had realized that she was very much looking forward to meeting them in February when she and Dan flew out for Cassie's 21st birthday.

Bella recalled her conversation with Edward about her impending trip.

"About that, Edward," she'd said as they were looking at some crystal ornaments. "How do I go about letting Alice know when I can travel? I'd feel a little weird calling her and giving dates that I'd like a ticket booked for me."

Edward's answer had been simple.

"Let me know," he'd replied. "I'll sort it out with Alice."

"You just wouldn't go and book the ticket yourself then, would you?" she'd questioned him, expecting full well that Edward would go and do something just like that.

"I think you remember how afraid I am of my pint-sized sister," he'd laughed, recalling one of their earlier conversations during the week. "No. I promise I'll give all the details to Alice and let her handle things. When do you think you might know? About your travel dates, that is?" he'd asked her.

"I'll go back and talk to my principal this week. It shouldn't be a problem and I've been thinking about Dan's plan. If we did leave on the Thursday afternoon, we'd arrive late Thursday night your time, and then if we left again Monday morning, we'd be home by Monday late afternoon my time, ready for work on Tuesday. I think that's probably the best option. That way we can get in three full days and make the trip worth it."

"You and Dan can stay at my place that Thursday night. I'm closer to LAX than they are, and we can head up Friday morning."

"You won't have to work?" she'd asked him.

"If you're taking time off, so can I," he'd assured her. "Besides, I work for myself, so I can arrange my commitments to suit."

"OK."

"Sounds like we have a plan."

"Maybe, but let me work it out with my boss here before you say anything official to Alice, OK?"

"Deal."

As Bella continued her drive home, keeping note of the exits she passed on the way, she thought back to her and Edward's private goodbye in her room. Lunch that day had been a quick bite on the run, and it had been just before one-thirty when Edward had knocked on Bella's door to make sure she was ready to head downstairs to check out. Edward had waited with Bella in her room while the hotel staff came to collect their bags and take them to the reception area in the lobby. After they'd gone, Edward had remained behind to talk to Bella in private.

"I'd like to say our goodbyes here, if that's alright," Edward had started. "I think there'll be enough to manage once we get to the airport."

"Me, too," Bella had said, suddenly feeling extremely nervous.

"I really want to thank you for an incredible week, Bella. It has been just absolutely...incredible," Edward repeated, struggling himself to find words adequate enough to explain his experience.

"I know. It's been gr-eat," Bella had stuttered as she too found it difficult to speak.

The two of them had regarded each other with a mixture of affection, admiration and guardedness in an entirely awkward moment, as neither realized how to say goodbye.

"Come here," Edward had laughed finally, finding humor in their current situation. He'd opened his arms to her, and with only the slightest hesitation, Bella had moved forward and into them.

He'd encased her in a warm hug and had rested his cheek on the top of her head as he gently swayed her to and fro.

"I'm going to miss you, Ms. Swan," he'd said as he'd held her.

"I'm going to miss you, too, Mr. Cullen," she'd replied, burying her face in his chest to try and control her simmering emotions.

"We've done alright, you and I," he'd continued. "We're going to be fine. All of us, together. We'll be fine."

Bella had smiled against his chest before pulling herself back to look into his eyes.

"You've gone and become a fortune teller overnight, have you?" she'd joked with him.

"Call it instinct," he'd shot back. "I have a good feeling in me bones about this one," he'd finished, putting on a pirate's voice.

"A pirate?" Bella had laughed.

"Didn't you say that Johnny Depp was one of your list guys?"

"That I did," she'd smiled, remembering.

"Well, there you go. You tell me I look a bit like George Clooney, and I throw Johnny Depp in for free. You can't do better than that!" he'd laughed.

"No. I don't think I can," she'd beamed back at him.

Time slowed. Edward had looked at her with such a force of emotions at that point that Bella had held her breath wondering if he might close the small gap between them and kiss her. For a moment or two, she'd felt sure that he would, but then his expression had changed just a fraction and when he did lean down to kiss her goodbye, it hadn't been on the lips. Bella closed her eyes when his lips pressed firmly on her forehead. He'd held that kiss for several seconds. The whole time, Bella's heart had beat in her chest rapidly. She'd felt sure that had she been pressed up against Edward more closely at the time, he would have felt it hammering away.

When he'd finally released her and she'd opened her eyes, the moisture she saw reflected in his was enough to spill her own unshed tears down her cheeks. Edward had responded by pulling her back into his arms and holding her tightly once more.

"Soon," she heard him say.

Even now, as Bella looked for the off ramp that would take her only a few minutes from home, she was unclear as to exactly what he'd meant.

Bella eventually pulled into her driveway and pressed the automatic garage door button. The drive had taken her longer than expected. Traffic had been heavier with people returning home from the holidays and the radio warnings about numerous accidents caused by ice on the roads had made her extra cautious. Once she was parked securely inside, she turned off the engine and got out, grabbing both her phone and her bag. She retrieved her suitcase from the trunk, and then half carried, half pulled it across the snow dusted lawn to the rear door of the house. Letting herself in, she left the suitcase in the laundry room and walked through the quiet home, turning on lights as she went. She made her way to the kitchen, dumping her bag, keys and phone on the table where she noticed a stack of mail. Her neighbor, Mrs. Lednerg, had a key to Bella's house, and she'd been collecting the mail for them while they'd been away. Bella made a mental note while sorting through the mail to buy her some flowers as a thank you.

Bella crossed the small kitchen and proceed to put on a pot of coffee. She looked at the clock on the wall. 7.10 p.m.

_Edward would be over two hours into his flight by now,_ she mused. _Edward!_

Realizing she hadn't yet texted him about her safe arrival, Bella grabbed her phone and opened it, intending to send a message immediately. It was only then that she saw that her phone had died on the way home. Sighing aloud, Bella placed the offending piece of technology back on the table and headed to the laundry. Finding her phone charger would now necessitate rifling through her suitcase. As she opened it on the laundry floor, she also realized that Dan's suitcase was still in her car, and a brief look out through the window to the garage confirmed that she had indeed left the trunk open and the garage door up.

Swearing quietly to herself, Bella trudged out of the house and through the backyard. She retrieved Dan's bag, slamming the trunk shut for good measure. She half-carried and half-dragged his bag to the house and up the small set of stairs. Dumping it on the floor of the laundry next to hers, Bella reached up and pressed the garage door button that was positioned on the wall near the back door. She watched as the door closed slowly, and once it was securely in place, she turned to look at the two offending bags that now lay on the laundry floor.

Ten minutes later, a load of her and Dan's clothes were in the washing machine. Bella poured herself a coffee and sat at the table taking a few minutes to relax after her drive home. She wondered how Dan was fairing and how long it would be until he arrived home. She glanced to her left and saw her phone.

_Dammit_, she swore for the second time that evening and pushed herself up from the table to go back to the laundry room to look for her phone charger that was buried somewhere in the bottomless pit that was her suitcase.

Several disgruntled minutes later when she was finally starting to think that maybe she had left it in the hotel room, Bella found the missing charger in an internal side zipper pocket of the suitcase. Triumphantly, she returned to the kitchen and plugged the charger into the socket and then her phone into the charger. She turned it on and waited impatiently for her phone to come to life.

When it did she found had six new text messages.

"Oh, no", she said aloud, more than a little worried.

There was one from Chris and five from Edward.

**Hope you've made it home safely.**

**Waiting for your text.**

_Thought you'd be home by now._

_Text me when you get this._

**Dan's OK, Bella.**

**Should have him home by 9**

_Why haven't you texted yet?_

_Is everything alright?_

**I'm getting worried.**

**Text me.**

_I'm texting Dan._

_Shit_, Bella swore – again.

She immediately began to text a reply to Edward.

**Am home safe and sound.**

**Phone went dead & I didn't realize.**

**Got distracted with chores.**

**Sorry. Didn't mean to worry you.**

**Dan not home yet.**

**Should be soon.**

**Sorry x 2**

Just as Bella was about to press the Send button, her phone rang. It was Dan.

"Hello."

"Mom? Is that you? Are you alright?" Dan asked, his voice louder than usual to make himself heard over the noise in the bar where he and Chris were.

"Yes, love. It's me. I'm fine."

"Edward texted me saying he couldn't get a hold of you."

"I know. I know. I'm just about to text him back and let him know I'm OK."

"Where have you been?" Dan asked, worried.

"I've been home half an hour or so. The traffic was bad, and I didn't realize that my phone died. I just got all of Edward's texts now."

"So, you're alright, then?"

"Yes. Fine."

Dan nodded silently on his end of the line.

"What time will you be coming home?" Bella asked him.

"In a little while."

"Where are you?"

"I'm in Lebanon, Mom. At Monty's. S'all good. Don't worry. I'll be home soon."

"OK."

"You'd better text Edward. He seemed pretty worried."

"I'll do it now."

"OK. See you soon."

"Bye, love," Bella said, finishing her call. After she pressed the End Call icon, her unsent message to Edward popped up. She sent it, hoping that her message would indeed make it through cyberspace to Edward's phone somewhere over the middle of the country. She left the phone on the counter to charge and went back to the laundry to collect her toiletries bag. She intended to take a long hot shower and relax after her drive home before giving some thought to school and her plans for the classroom tomorrow.

Bella had only just made it to the bottom of the stairs when her phone chimed. She went back to the kitchen, and grabbed it and the charger in order to take them upstairs. She opened her message.

**Thank goodness you're home.**

**I was really worried.**

**Dan's still out?**

**Cassie's asleep. **

**Tears have stopped, mostly.**

Bella read the message a couple of times. She felt very sad for Cassie because she hadn't handled things terribly well at the airport. She'd had tears in her eyes as they'd gotten out of Chris' car, and Bella had suspected that Cassie had cried most of the way there by the look of uneasiness on Dan's face. Bella and Edward had driven to the airport in Bella's car with most of the luggage, while Chris had driven the other three with the girls' carry-on. It was fortunate that Chris and his car had been in town over the weekend as there was no way the five of them plus luggage would have fit into Bella's little car.

Before starting her shower, Bella quickly replied to Edward.

**Dan's a big boy. **

**I think he needs to chill for a bit.**

**I feel for Cassie. **

**She took going home hard.**

**At least they'll see each other again in 6 wks.**

**Not too long this time.**

Bella was in the middle of undressing for her shower when she received Edward's latest message.

**Long enough I suspect.**

**How are you? Tired?**

She tapped out her reply.

**Exhausted. Just about to jump in shower.**

**Have planning to do for tomorrow then off to bed.**

**How are you?**

A short space of time elapsed before she got Edward's answer.

**Tired too.**

**Would love to get some sleep.**

**Don't think it's going to happen.**

**Have melody stuck in my head.**

**About to pull out comp to write it down.**

**Sleep tight. Talk tomorrow night?**

Bella smiled.

**Sounds like a plan.**

**Happy melody writing.**

**I'll be home around 6 my time – meetings.**

**Night.**

A two word response came within seconds.

**Night beautiful**

Showered and ready for bed, Bella made her way down to the kitchen with her planner and laptop. She made herself a hot chocolate and settled at the table to plan the week's lessons. She'd been working for an hour when she heard a car pull up in the driveway. She rose from her chair and crossed to look out the kitchen window, which allowed her a view of the driveway that led down the side of the house. She saw Dan get out of Chris' car and wave him off before he began to walk down the drive and toward the back of the house. Wanting to greet him, Bella made her way to the laundry and met him as he opened the door.

"Mom! Hi!"

"Hi, love."

"You're still up?"

"I've been doing some planning. How was your night?"

"OK," Dan answered wearily. He didn't elaborate any further, and Bella sensed that she wasn't going to get a lot from him this evening.

"I brought your bag in from the car, and I've put in some laundry for you," Bella said as she watched her son remove his shoes and toss them into the corner of the room.

"Thanks, Mom," he replied, sounding tired and somewhat melancholy.

"I'm having a hot chocolate. Would you like one?"

Dan looked up at his mother and offered her a weak smile.

"Not tonight, thanks, Mom. I think I'll just go shower and head off to bed."

Bella's heart took on some of the weight of her son's emotions, and she offered him a sympathetic smile in return.

"What time do you have to leave for work in the morning?"

"The usual – around seven," he said, ushering her out of the laundry and down the hall toward the kitchen and the stairs that led to the bedrooms.

"Do you want me to wake you?"

"I'll set my alarm, but if you don't hear me by half past six, can you come check on me?"

"Sure thing, love."

"Thanks."

Bella paused at the bottom of the stairs. She wanted to console her son. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and hug him and tell him that everything would be alright – that he'd see Cassie again, soon. But she also knew that this was an inevitable part of their relationship. That being apart was something they were just going to have to deal with for now. It hurt Bella to see Dan so sad, but he was his own man. He was choosing his own path now, and she had to let him deal with things as best as he saw fit.

It was a learning curve for both of them.

"'Night, Mom," Dan said, leaning down to give her a quick peck on the cheek.

"'Night, love," she replied, returning the gesture and standing back to watch him trudge up the stairs toward his room. He cut a lonely and somewhat dejected figure as he moved away from her, and Bella felt a lump form in her chest. Struggling against her maternal instincts to protect her own, Bella turned and made her way back to the kitchen. She sat at the table and stared at her computer screen for several minutes, her mind distracted by Dan's arrival and his demeanor. Realizing she wasn't going to achieve much more that evening, Bella closed down the laptop, rinsed out her coffee cup and turned out the lights. She made her way to her bedroom, pausing briefly outside Dan's door. She hadn't really expected to hear any noise from within, but it was a habit after years of parenting that she found difficult to break. She settled into her bed intending to read a book, but her cell phone charging on the side table caught her eye. Bella reached for it and held it in her hands for a moment or two while her mind argued with itself. Finally, she took action.

She typed out a message.

**Dan's home. He's OK but sad.**

**My heart's torn for him.**

**He's gone to bed. I am now too.**

**Just wanted to let you know he was home safe.**

Bella waited for a minute or two, but she received no immediate response. So, she turned off her night light and settled down to sleep. Just as she was starting to doze, her phone chimed.

**Thanks for the message. I fell asleep it seems.**

**Cassie's quiet. Some fresh tears. **

**She's texting. **

**Dan?**

**Sleep tight. **

The working week brought with it some much needed routine for everyone. Their brief Christmas-New Year holiday at an end, Dan and Bella returned to their daily habits and schedules. Cassie returned to college to complete her final semester, and Edward threw himself into his final arrangements for the Oklahoma score he'd been working on.

Dan and Cassie continued to speak to each other daily, usually late at night Dan's time after he'd finished work. Their conversations often included plans for Dan and Bella's intended visit in February. Cassie was very excited for Dan to meet as many of her friends as possible on the next trip to California. She was keen to show off her guy, which wouldn't be difficult because of the huge party that she and her parents were planning at the boat club. Bella had overhead Dan and Cassie squabble on the phone once or twice, and she'd accurately guessed that both were struggling to re-adapt to their separation.

Bella and Edward continued to find the time to speak to each other, too. Sometimes, it was a simple text or two, other times an email or a phone call. While they didn't speak to each other daily, there were in regular contact. Bella found that she'd started to check her phone more often than she had previously just in case there had been some kind of text or message from Edward. She'd chided herself more than once about the fact that he had a real life to live in California and that messaging his long-lost-son's mother wasn't going to be at the top of his daily to do list. Still, she couldn't help the flutter she felt each time her phone chimed, nor the smile that came to her lips when she saw that she had a new message from Edward.

Bella's first week back also provided her with other challenges, too. Feigning that she was too busy for her regular Tuesday night dance class, she instead stayed home, worrying about how she was going to handle breaking off her relationship with Steve. Steve was a good guy and a really dependable, charming man. But Bella had to be honest with herself. She couldn't see her relationship with Steve developing into anything more than just friendship. She could kid herself and continue to see him, but that would be selling both of them short. Steve deserved someone who was interested in him as more than just a friend and dance partner. Bella knew she didn't feel for Steve what she needed to – what he deserved – so, it was with a heavy heart and a little guilt that she called him on Wednesday evening and told him that while she would like to remain friends with him that she didn't want to date him anymore.

Being a mature guy in his mid-forties, Steve didn't throw a tantrum or make a fuss. He did, however, ask Bella if there was any other reason that she didn't want to see him anymore, hinting that maybe there might have been someone else replacing him in her affections.

Bella had denied that she was seeing anyone else, and for her, that was the truth. She wasn't seeing anyone, not in her real life anyway...but how could she explain to Steve that there was a man who was capturing more and more of her attention whether she saw him or not? For the honest truth was that Bella was seeing Edward everywhere – in her memories of morning coffees shared over a breakfast table, in a George Clooney poster that smiled at her from a bus shelter she passed on the way to work, in a late night Baileys on ice that she started imbibing in before bed – even in the way her son smiled at her when he returned home after a day's work, his eye's crinkling just like his father's.

Bella also found herself daydreaming, her mind drifting back over shared afternoon walks or memories of their quick and easy banter that always felt so effortless and non-contrived. She fell asleep at night remembering the way Edward would chastely kiss her on the cheek and eventually on the forehead, only now realizing that she wished it had been so much more.

Bella's first week back to work was full of routine, and while she welcomed that, she also realized she missed the spontaneity and the freedom that her week with Edward and the girls had provided. She had stepped back into her regular life just the way things were intended after a holiday – except that now, she longed for the Bella that Edward had helped her discover and she could feel her slipping away little by little each day as her real world enclosed her like a familiar blanket. All-in-all, she had a productive week, but her heart felt a little heavier than even she had expected, and that took her by surprise.

Bella had also approached her boss and had requested time off to visit California in February. He'd granted her the leave, and she'd spoken to Edward briefly about it to confirm the details. He'd then promised to pass the information on to Alice. Bella was yet to hear anything further about it.

Dan also appeared to settle back into his work routine well enough, but gone was the spring in his step, the easy smile and the twinkle in his eyes. As Bella had suspected, he was taking his separation from Cassie hard and it showed. It made Bella's heart feel even heavier.

Cassie was having similar issues apparently, not that Dan went into much detail. What Bella learned, she learned from Edward. He'd told her that he'd been speaking with Alice and that Cassie was being quite short-tempered and snarky at home, and that Alice thought it had nothing to do with a bad case of PMS.

Dan spent most of the following weekend catching up with friends and drinking at one of the local hotels. He stayed at Chris', and Bella wondered whether he was avoiding having to spend too much time at home, preferring to fill his weekend up with non-stop activity.

At least he wasn't brooding, and as far as Bella was concerned, that was a good thing.

It was on a Saturday night, a little after seven, when Bella's phone rang. She smiled when she saw the caller ID.

"Hello there. What are you doing calling me on a Saturday night? Shouldn't you be out enjoying the L.A. night life?"

"The only L.A. night life I see is what walks along the beach none too quietly around 2 a.m. or so," Edward said, laughing. "How are you, Bella?"

"I'm good. You?"

"I'm good. What are you up to?"

"I'm just settling in for the night with a new book."

"Exciting!" Edward said, sarcasm dripping from that single word.

"Don't I know it!" Bella replied, playing along. "This book should keep me up 'til all of nine-thirty before my eyelids droop to a close and I'm out cold."

"Rivetting!"

"Well, what are your evening plans Mr. Smarty Pants?"

"It's only late afternoon here for me. I've got a dinner to go to tonight."

"Really? What for?"

"I'm having dinner with my parents and a business associate. We had a meeting this afternoon but haven't wrapped everything up, so it's carrying on over into dinner."

"Are you at home?"

"I'm on my way back there now," Edward explained. "We've been in L.A. most of the afternoon, but my parents are staying over tonight, so we're having dinner at a restaurant in Long Beach."

"Are you in the car? I thought the line sounded noisy."

"Hang on."

Bella heard some background noise for a moment or two before Edward came through, louder and clearer than before.

"Is that any better?"

"Much."

"I've been out and about and I had my ear piece in. I just changed back to the car's Bluetooth through the stereo system."

"Sounds like you've had a busy day," Bella said, restarting their earlier conversation and letting Edward's last comment slide. She didn't understand Bluetooth.

"I have but it's been productive."

"How so?" Bella asked, settling back on her sofa and tucking her knees under her.

"Did I ever mention that Carlisle and I have been working on putting a Foundation together?"

"No."

"We've been working on the idea over the last six months or so. Basically, we want to combine my interest in music and his in medicine."

"What? Like music therapy or something?"

"Not exactly, although that could be part of what we aim for. _My_ initial plans were focused on pediatrics. Basically, some kids are in the hospital for extended periods of time, and my goal was to get them playing music while they're in there – a keyboard, a recorder, a guitar – whatever we can work. It would mean getting music teachers in there on a regular basis, and if the kids aren't well enough to go to the in-hospital school, the teachers and the instruments would go to them – bedside."

"Sounds like an interesting idea."

"The hospital where Carlisle works is more or less on board – in as much as the Board is prepared to give it a go if we can raise the funds to run the program, find the staff, purchase the instruments, and so on. Carlisle really wants to try and get the program, or something similar, into aged-care facilities, too. He's adamant that there would be many benefits for the elderly who used to play once but haven't for years, or others who've never picked up an instrument in their lives."

"So how do you go about arranging something like that?"

"That's what we've been ironing out all day today. Like I said, we've been planning it for a while and we think we've finally got somebody on board who can spearhead the whole thing. There's a lot to iron out yet and legal work to do to establish the Foundation. Then we can start raising funds and put everything into motion."

"Sounds huge."

"It is."

"And exciting."

"Absolutely. Today, I really saw this all coming together. It's happening."

"You sound pleased."

"I'm thrilled."

"I can't believe you didn't mention this at all over Christmas."

"You know," Edward said, pausing, "I have no idea why I didn't...it just never came up, and really, we'd kind of lost hope for this particular guy to come on board, but he called us at the start of this week and said yes, so things have moved along pretty quickly since then."

"Who is he?"

"Eleazar Delgado. I doubt you would have heard of him. Carlisle's known him for a while, and he's been on the board of some fairly large Foundations here in L.A. over the years. We heard he was looking for something new to take on so we approached him. He's kind of excited to be coming in on something from the ground up."

"So, is he who you are having dinner with tonight?"

"Yes. And my parents and Alex, our lawyer. Anyway, I just thought I'd call 'cause I had an idea today and I'd like to discuss it with you a bit more tomorrow when I've got a bit more time. Are you free tomorrow so we can chat?"

"Tomorrow's a long day. Can you narrow it down for me? Morning or afternoon?"

"Either."

"I'm going out with Jessica in the afternoon, but I'm free 'til midday."

"Great."

"What's this about?"

"Just an idea I had...and I don't...well..."

"What Edward?"

"I don't know if it's a good idea or not, and I wanted to run it by you to get your take on it."

"You want my advice?"

"I want your thoughts."

"OK."

"So, can I call you tomorrow then?"

"Sure."

"Ten your time?"

"Fine. If that's not too early for you?"

"You know me...earlier riser. I'm sorry to rush this, but I've got to go. I'm just pulling in at home. I'll talk to you in the morning, OK?"

"Yeah, that'd be fine."

"Thanks, Bella."

"Don't thank me yet. I haven't done anything."

"You're you. That's enough."

"How big is this favor if you're buttering me up like that?"

"It's not a favor...it's...well, I'll talk to you about it tomorrow."

"Now I'm scared."

"Don't be."

"Easy for you to say."

"I won't let anything bad happen to you, ever."

"You're not setting me up for a fall then, huh?" Bella said, laughing.

"No."

"And you're not expecting me to learn an instrument are you?"

"No."

"OK. Well, then, we're good. I'll talk to you in the morning. Enjoy your dinner."

"Will do. I talk to you soon. Bye, beautiful."

"Bye, Edward."

Bella hung up the phone, smiling.

_He called me, Beautiful_, she thought, and as she reached out for her book and settled down into the couch, she found it difficult to focus on the print on the page.

_Hmm_, she sighed to herself.

She was still smiling.

* * *

**AN:** Thanks to Sandy, Grendel and Lalina who worked hard on this chapter for me.

Looks like it's going to be a fortnightly updating schedule for a while - I will try to get things to you as quickly as possible but life is being a tad busier than normal right now.

I do try to keep people updated on the thread over on Twi re posting schedules, and I do post teasers there. I also tweet, but never anything interesting, and I don't tweet teasers 'cause some people don't like to know what's coming.

So, until next time.

Thanks for reading.

Leisa


	40. Chapter 40

Welcome back.

To AllyinPerth and Monamour...I pray for both of you, your health and your happiness, each and every day.

So...here you go...it ended differently to where I had originally planned - but I like it...and so do my betas...so it's what you get...

Thanks Sandy, Lalina and Grendel... without you...this would be crappy!

SM owns...I wish I did (or could at least play with a few of the boys on the set)

Waterproof mascara warning (for those of you who get cranky at me when I don't tell ya that!)

* * *

**Chapter 40 – Times are a-changing**

Edward tossed and turned in bed. It was early – just after six in the morning. He'd had a restless night's sleep after dinner the previous evening with his parents, Eleazar Delgado and their lawyer. Edward had felt buoyed and confident after many hours talking about the establishment of and initial direction for the Cullen Foundation. Their dinner had gone late into the evening, and it had been close to midnight when Edward and his parents had finally returned home.

Esmé had retired to bed almost immediately, but Carlisle and Edward had sat up for another hour or so to discuss the establishment of the Foundation. One topic of conversation focused on staffing needs and Edward's initial plan to solve this. While Carlisle had understood his son's motivations and his reasoning behind his suggestions at dinner, he'd cautioned Edward against getting his hopes up. _Not everyone sees the same thing the same way_, Carlisle had explained.

It was this advice that had caused Edward's sleepless night. Once his initial enthusiasm for his idea had waned, and in the solace of his bedroom in the early hours of the morning, Edward had begun to question his decision. He'd also regretted calling Bella. He'd allowed his enthusiasm to get the better of him, and wished now that he hadn't acted so impetuously the afternoon before and arranged to speak with her later this morning. He realized that while his plan may solve many problems, it could also undoubtedly create new ones, and he wondered just how effectively these potential problems could be managed, if at all.

Truth be told, Edward was torn. No matter how he looked at it, he could see someone getting hurt.

_Do something...or do nothing?_ It was a question he found impossible to answer.

Edward shook himself out of his daydreaming. He pushed himself up in bed and ran a hand over his face before dragging his fingernails across his stubble. He ambled out of bed and into the bathroom to start his morning routine, his thoughts consumed as they had been each day with memories of his week away and secret desires for his future.

Fifteen minutes later, showered, dressed, but unshaven, he made his way quietly down the hall past one of the guest bedrooms where his parents were sleeping and into the kitchen. He sighed gratefully at the smell of freshly brewed coffee Esmé had prepared the previous night before going to bed and let himself out the front door to collect the morning paper before returning to the kitchen. He grabbed an apple from the fridge, poured himself a steaming hot cup of coffee and, with the newspaper tucked securely under his arm, moved across to the sunroom intending to enjoy a quiet moment or two before he had to place his call to Bella.

Edward scanned the paper but found that he was unable to focus on the headlines in front of him. His mind was consumed with the imminent conversation. Part of him felt proud that he wanted to do something to try and help out his son; his first fatherly act as it was. But a larger part of him felt guilty for the inevitable unhappiness he knew it would cause Bella.

He placed the newspaper on the table and looked out through the glass windows towards the ocean beyond. Edward's mind was in turmoil.

As he sat in his chair, he, again, questioned his motives. _Am I really doing this just for Dan and Cassie? _

Edward's mind began to run away from him again_. Maybe if Dan agreed to move to the West coast, Bella would follow, and that way we could all be together – be a family. Maybe she could live in the house with me, at first, after she moved. Maybe she might never move away..._

Edward took another sip of his coffee and admonished himself for his daydreaming.

_This isn't just about Dan and Cassie, _he finally admitted honestly to himself. _If Dan moved here, I could finally get to play a real role in his life. I could truly be his father. I could try and make up for lost time._

Edward closed his eyes_. _

_Is that how Bella would see it? _he wondered._ Would Bella see this as me taking Dan away from her? And is she really willing to let him go so easily, despite what she's said?_

Edward continued to sip at his coffee.

_What is it I want here? _

His answer was automatic.

_Dan and Bella on this side of the country. Would Bella stay in New Hampshire? Would she be prepared to move to L.A. with Dan? That would be the best case scenario, for sure. For them both to move to California._

He closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples.

_Will Bella see this as nothing more than manipulation on my part? I win, she loses?_

Edward leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He raked his hands through his hair and rested them on the back of his head, his actions reflecting his inner turmoil.

He was still in this position when his mother found him a few minutes later.

Esmé sighed quietly to herself. She knew that posture. She hadn't seen it for years, not since the breakdown of his marriage to Tanya. It worried her greatly to see her only son, the boy she had raised as her very own, once again so agitated.

"Morning, Edward," Esmé said quietly as she came to stand by his side, coffee cup in one hand. She placed her free hand lovingly across the top of his shoulders and rubbed them soothingly.

Edward looked up and smiled tenderly at his mother.

"Morning, Mom. You're up early."

"As are you."

"I'm an early riser, Mom. You know that."

"I know," Esmé agreed, moving to a chair next to him and sitting down.

They both sipped at their coffees in companionable silence for a few moments.

Esmé regarded her son closely. It was obvious to her he had much on his mind.

"You and your father stayed up for a while longer last night after we got home."

"Yeah," he answered vaguely.

"Was it productive?"

Edward looked across at his mother as he answered her. "We hashed out a few more ideas."

"Hmm," Esmé replied thoughtfully. "Anything in particular?"

Edward narrowed his eyes, suspecting he knew exactly what his mother was asking about.

"What's Dad said to you?" Edward asked.

Esmé shrugged and offered her son a sheepish smile.

"Just that you seemed to have your heart really set on offering Dan the P.A. position with Eleazar. He's a little worried that maybe things won't work out the way you hope."

"You mean that Dan won't want the job?"

Again, Esmé shrugged. "Or maybe that he won't want to leave his mother alone in New Hampshire."

Edward sipped at his coffee before he responded. "I know. I've been thinking about nothing else since last night."

"I don't really know him, Edward, but he seems like he's very close to his mom."

"He is."

"So, do you really think he would be prepared to leave her behind?"

"I don't know," Edward said, his voice tinged with emotion. "Part of me thinks that Bella will be OK with it. She's hinted often enough that it's what she expects to happen, that it's the next logical step for him."

"But...?" Esmé inquired.

"But part of me feels that, by suggesting this, I'm taking her only family away from her."

"Do you think Bella would move to California if Dan did?"

"That seems like the next practical step to me, but Bella is such an independent woman, I just don't know if she would."

"She's moved across country once before, hasn't she? When Dan went off to college?"

"Mmm, she did. But that doesn't mean she'd be prepared to do it again."

Esmé regarded her son closely.

"What made you think of the idea in the first place?" she asked him.

"What? Offering Dan the job?"

Esmé nodded in response.

"I thought it would finally give him and Cassie a chance to be together. They've both been miserable since they've come home. I can hear it in his voice every time I talk to him and you've spoken to Alice. She says the same thing about Cassie."

"I know," Esmé agreed. "I saw Cassie the other day. She seems to have lost her sparkle."

"Bella's saying the same kind of thing about Dan. I just thought that this job would be right for him. It's the kind of thing he studied for, and it's the perfect opportunity for him to work with someone who has a lot of experience in his field. Plus, he's a member of the family. He'd be learning the ins-and-outs of a foundation from the ground up. That kind of knowledge will prove invaluable over time."

"That's all true and very practical, but I suspect there's more to it than that," Esmé added before taking another sip of her coffee and letting the ensuing silence settle between them.

"You're right," Edward answered finally, his attention on the coffee cup in his hands.

Esmé remained silent, but when her son looked up at her, she held his gaze and wordlessly encouraged him to continue.

"It's also the first chance I've gotten to do something for him as his father."

Esmé reached out her hand and gently squeezed her son's forearm.

"And that reason is just as important as all the selling points you rattled off."

Edward leaned forward and put his coffee cup back on the table before rubbing his face with his hands.

"But what about Bella, Mom? What is something like this going to do to her?"

Esmé took a moment to mentally prepare her response. She was used to counseling clients in therapy sessions. It was something different entirely when you were working with your own family.

"Bottom line? What Bella makes of this situation is up to Bella. That's not in your control. The same as what Dan decides to do is up to Dan. There are things that need to be taken into consideration, for sure, but each person is responsible for their own decisions in life, Edward. How somebody chooses to react to a situation is their responsibility and theirs alone."

"But what if I'm the cause? What if, by me offering Dan the job, I cause Bella to be unhappy?"

"Dan leaving home is going to be an emotional experience for Bella, regardless of when it happens or who instigates it. When children grow up, parents have to learn to take a step back and let them go to lead their own independent lives. It's part of the job that we parents have to do. It doesn't mean we ever stop caring, but it does mean that we aren't responsible for the decisions our adult children make."

"That's all good in theory, Mom. But Dan is all Bella has."

"That's not true. Bella is more than just the sum of Dan's life. Bella is her own person, and by the sound of it, she has worked very hard for a long time to get where she is. She's bigger than this, and it also seems, from what you've said, that she's been preparing herself for something like this for a while now."

"She says she has."

"Then why doubt her?"

"I don't."

"Don't you? You're taking on responsibility for her feelings, her reactions, her reality. Trust her to manage her own affairs. She seems to have done a fairly good job of things so far."

"I know it looks that way, Mom. But she's been hurting for a long time. She just doesn't let the world know it."

Esmé once again regarded her son closely.

"It seems like you and Bella have struck up quite a close friendship."

"We have."

Esmé smiled affectionately at her son.

"You care for her quite deeply, don't you?"

"She's an amazing woman, Mom."

"And you don't want to hurt her."

It was a statement, not a question.

"No. I don't ever want to hurt her again."

Esmé frowned at this.

"When have you hurt her before, Edward?"

Edward shook his head ridding himself of mental images of a young, pregnant Bella, crying and alone.

"I'm responsible for a lot of the pain in her past, Mom, from when she was younger."

Esmé was thinking hard. She was trying to piece together the things that he was not saying.

"You mean when she was young and pregnant?"

Edward suddenly found it difficult to speak. He just nodded his head in response.

Again, Esmé paused, selecting her words carefully.

"What Bella may have gone through might have been difficult, and yes, you were partly responsible for the pregnancy. Had you have known at the time, things may very well have been different. But you didn't know. You can't hold yourself responsible for things that happened that you had no knowledge of."

"I should have known better. I should have been more careful. I should have been more responsible."

"Edward. Stop this. Right now."

Edward raised his head and looked at his mother, startled by her abrupt tone.

"If you had acted differently...if you had been more responsible...you wouldn't have your son and your life would be very different at this point in time," she told him logically. "You've changed in the last month or so. Incredibly. You're a completely different person. You're...you're _you_, again," she said, searching for words. "You're the man I always knew was in there, but he's been lost somewhere. It's like you've come back to us from some lonely, deserted island. I can see it," she said, reaching for him and placing her hand on his forearm, squeezing it gently. "Everyone can see it – you father, your sisters. We've all noticed it. Don't go regretting the past when the past is what has brought you to _now_," she implored.

Edward smirked. "Is that Esmé the psychologist talking?"

"No," she replied, winking at him. "It's your mother talking. I haven't seen you this happy or this relaxed in a very long time...and I know you're worrying about this...about what offering Dan the job will do to the future and how it will affect Bella. But just remember your motivation, your reasons for doing this. And don't sell Bella short. She might actually be happy that if Dan is going to move away from home, at least he's moving toward family and not away from it," she said wisely.

Again, at a loss for words, Edward nodded his head silently.

"And besides, friends help each other. You'll help Bella through this, 'cause that's what good friends do. They care for each other in the good times and the bumpier times in life," she added, deliberately avoiding the use of the word 'bad'.

Edward looked at his mother, wondering just how much she had suspected about his feelings for Bella.

"Thanks, Mom," he said, moving off his chair to give his mother a brief kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, too, Edward," she said.

Edward stood tall and collected his used coffee cup.

"Are you off somewhere?" she asked him.

"Yeah. I told Bella I'd call her this morning at ten."

"But it's only seven," Esmé said, checking her watch.

"Ten her time. It's about that now. I think I'll go for a walk and call her."

"Alright, love," Esmé replied warmly. "Will you say _hello_ to her for me and tell her that I'm really looking forward to meeting her in February?"

"I will."

Mother and son exchanged brief smiles.

"I'll see you in a while. There's plenty of food here for breakfast," he added as he went to leave the sunroom.

"We'll be fine. We can help ourselves."

"I'm counting on it."

"See you in a bit, then," Esmé said in farewell. "Good luck with your call."

"Thanks."

"Things will work out. You'll see."

"You've become a fortune teller overnight, have you?" Edward said, smiling at a private memory.

"Excuse me?"

"Nevermind."

With a small wave in his mother's direction, Edward moved into the kitchen and deposited his cup in the sink. He crossed to the back door and, letting himself out into the yard, moved across the grass to the small rock ledge and set of steps that lead directly onto the beach. He stopped to roll up the legs of his jeans and then walked down onto the sand, setting off along the beach with no particular destination in mind. He loved the feel of the sand under his feet and the sea breeze on his skin. This was one place in the world that never failed to sooth him. After taking a few deep breaths of fresh air into his lungs, he pulled out his cell phone from his back pocket and called Bella.

"Hello."

"Hi. It's me."

"Hi, you. I knew it was you."

"Yeah?"

"Caller I.D."

"Oh."

"And the time. You're right on time again, Mr. Cullen. You really are breaking old habits, aren't you?"

"Apparently you're not the only one to notice."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. So, how are you?"

"I'm OK, but I've been kind of perplexed about this phone call."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I can't for the life of me think about what you would want my opinion on."

"Oh."

Edward paused. Bella was leading them straight into the conversation he was dreading. He took a deep breath.

"Edward?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you?"

"I'm on the beach, going for a walk."

"Well, you know what they say about California – sunshine and beaches and all that!"

"True."

Silence settled on the line for a moment or two.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"What's up?" Bella asked intuitively. She sensed that something was bothering him. He wasn't his usual playful self.

"Nothing."

Bella paused at her end of the line. She didn't buy that. She decided to turn his own words back on him.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Talk to me."

Edward took another deep breath. He couldn't avoid the reason for his call any longer.

"I've had an idea."

"For the Foundation?"

"Yeah."

"And you want my opinion on it?"

"Ahh..." Edward said aloud into the phone. "Not really...kind of...I..."

"What is it, Edward? This isn't like you. What's up?"

Edward took another deep breath and launched into it.

"OK. Well...the Foundation is about to get off the ground."

"That's exciting!"

"Yes, it is...and well, we need to staff it. Only a couple of people at first – well, just two really, in addition to Carlisle and myself and…well..."

"Didn't you say you had another gentleman on board already?" Bella asked.

"Yes, we do. His name is Eleazar Delgado. He's in his mid-sixties and really smart, but he needs someone to help him. Someone to do the leg work, assist him and manage the paper trail."

"OK."

"And...well..."

Bella picked up on the hesitation in Edward's voice.

"Well...what?"

Another deep breath allowed Edward to get the words out.

"I was thinking that it would be the perfect job for Dan."

A very brief period of silence followed before Bella spoke.

"Oh."

Edward drew his lips into a tight line at her less than enthusiastic response.

"Yes. Technically, the position would be for a P.A., but we would need someone who has a background in P.R. and a head for business development, since effectively that is what we'd be doing – building the Foundation from the ground up."

"I see."

More silence followed.

Edward's heart was racing, and not from his walk.

"Bella?"

"Yes."

"What are you thinking?"

"Honestly?"

Edward winced.

"Yes. That's what we promised each other."

It was Bella's turn to take a deep breath.

"I was wondering why it was that you called me about this."

"I don't understand."

"This conversation should be happening between you and Dan, not you and me."

Edward was confused.

"But Bella, how can you ask me that? This decision affects you...will affect you."

"I know. But this is Dan's decision to make, not mine."

"I understand that, but I didn't want to talk to Dan about it until I had spoken to you first because it would mean big changes for the both of you."

"That may be true, but it's still Dan's decision, Edward."

"I know."

"So, why haven't you spoken to him first?"

"I wanted to speak to you about it."

"Why?"

"I wanted to know if you would be alright with it."

Bella took a moment to collect her thoughts.

"Edward," she started. "If you were offering this position to someone else, would you be calling his or her mother to check if she was alright with it first?"

"No, but I..."

"And if you were advertising externally for this position, would you be concerned over the applicant's need to relocate in order to take on the role?"

"No, but..."

"So, don't you see? This isn't my decision to make, and my opinion shouldn't factor into your decision to offer Dan the job."

"But, Bella, it does."

"It shouldn't."

"Bella…If Dan moves here, and you stay there, you'll be all alone."

"No, I won't. I have friends here."

"But that's not the same."

"This is my home, Edward."

"It's where you live, Bella."

"And it's where I work and where I have friends and a life."

"But Dan is a big part of your life."

Bella sat on the sofa in her living room and closed her eyes trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Yes, he is," she answered softly, "but that doesn't give me the right to control his life anymore than it gives him the right to dictate to mine. He's a big boy now, Edward."

"I know," Edward said, stopping in his tracks and kicking at the sand at his feet. "But I'm worried about what it will mean for you if Dan moves here."

"I've suspected for a while now that he would do that sooner rather than later. We've even talked about this, you and I."

"I know, but it wasn't a reality at that point. Now it could well be."

"It's always been part of my reality, Edward. There was always going to come a time when my son would leave home. I've known that for a long time."

"But now it might actually happen."

Bella sighed heavily. "I know."

"And you'd be OK with that?"

"Really, Edward? What choice do I have except to be OK with that? He's found the girl he wants to settle down with. He's just got to find a way to make that come about, and if you offering him a job will allow him to achieve his dream, then who am I to stand in the way of that? I wouldn't be doing my job as his mother if I tried to stop him."

Edward sat down heavily on the sand and let out a whoosh of air.

Bella heard it on her end of the line.

"If he moved here, would you?"

"To California?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Edward."

"What?"

"It's time for Dan to lead his own life. He doesn't need his mother hanging onto his shirt tails refusing to let go."

"But that's not what you'd be doing. You could come here, and we could be a family. We could all be together – you, me and Dan."

Bella felt unexpected tears form behind her eyes.

"Edward. It's not as easy as that."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I have a life here. I work here."

"You could teach here."

"But my house is here. My home is here. Everyone I know is here."

"That's not true. You know me. I'm here."

"Oh, Edward," Bella sighed into the phone. "It's so much more complicated than that." She paused before she added, "I've started seeing someone."

"What?" Edward exclaimed loudly.

"After everything that happened while we were away and after everything we went through, I realized I had a lot to deal with – things that I hadn't ever bothered to come to terms with. So, I spoke with the guidance counselor at work who was able to put me in touch with a counselor, and I got in on a cancellation this week. I'm seeing someone to help me deal with everything, and we had a really successful first meeting. I've got another one scheduled for this coming week. It's going to be a weekly appointment from now on for a while. You said that counseling helped you find out who you were and that it helped you deal with everything you went through with Tanya. Well, I want that for me, too. I feel like I've got to get to know the real me – not just Bella the Teacher or Bella the Mother, but me, Bella the person. I don't think I really know who she is, and I want to find out."

"Oh, Bella," Edward said, blinking away tears and wishing with all his might that she was next to him at this very moment so he could hold her in his arms.

Silence stretched out between them, and they both let it settle there, neither feeling the need to talk.

"Edward," Bella started, finally. "I appreciate why you wanted to talk to me about this, I really do. But this has to be between you and Dan. It can't involve me. It shouldn't involve me. Yes, it will be hard to watch Dan go, but knowing that he's going to you and your family will make it that much easier to handle."

"Bella. I don't want to be the one to take Dan away from you."

"You're not," Bella answered bravely. "Dan will make his own decision. You're giving him the opportunity of a lifetime, and as his mother, I am grateful that his father is able to do that for him."

Edward roughly brushed away at the tears that were now coursing down his face. After he pulled himself together, he continued their conversation.

"If things work out, will you consider moving here one day?"

"Let's just take the future one day at a time, huh? Never say never and all that."

Edward nodded his head on his end of the line.

Bella continued. "I really feel I need to be here, right now, that's all. I've got a few things to deal with, and I feel comfortable doing that here."

Again, Edward nodded.

"Edward?"

"Yeah," Edward answered roughly, his voice filled with unexpressed emotions.

"When are you going to talk to Dan about all this?"

"Ahh...this afternoon, maybe?"

"That's good. He'll be excited, I expect."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Absolutely. He might actually even crack a smile, which would be nice to see."

Edward rightly sensed that Bella was feeling more emotional than she was letting on.

"Bella...I...are you sure about this?"

"Yes."

Edward played in the sand with his fingertips. The certainty in her voice, and the trust in him that it conveyed, humbled him.

"I'll look after him," he promised her.

Bella began to tear up, her emotions finally getting the better of her.

"I know you will," she replied honestly. "He's lucky to have you."

"Bella...I..." Edward started before stopping mid-sentence. _Now's not the right time_.

"Hmm?"

"I'll call you tonight, after I've spoken with Dan."

"OK."

Edward smiled. "Take care of you."

"I am. You take care of you, too," she replied, smiling into the phone.

"Bye, Beautiful."

"Bye."

After Bella finished her call to Edward, she sat back on her lounge, hugged her knees to her chest and cried. She would not allow herself to do so within ear shot of Edward, and definitely not in front of Dan, so she spent the next twenty minutes releasing, without restraint, the whirlpool of emotions that swirled within her.

In her mind, she wasn't saying goodbye to her son, but rather, goodbye to this part of her life. While she would always be his mother, her mothering days as she saw them were fast drawing to a close. It was, in a way, an end of an era and the dawn of a new time in her life – a time where she could finally set goals for herself, strike out on her own and plan her future without having to put her child's needs ahead of her own.

Bella reminded herself of the promises she had made when Dan had left to travel overseas last May only eight months prior. Many, many things had changed in that relatively short period of time, and Bella now realized that all these changes were changes for the better. In the spirit of this revelation, she knew that Dan's inevitable move to the West Coast would bring about further changes in all their lives and that, with the right approach and continued loved and support, they would be changes that would benefit them all.

Privately, Bella was convinced that she needed to spend some time getting to know herself better, getting to know who she was as a person and what she wanted and needed in her life. She also realized that Dan's departure would provide a good opportunity for such self-reflection. What Bella failed to comprehend was something that many others around her already knew. Bella was a loving mother, a selfless friend and a confident woman. While there were inevitably things from her past that she had to learn to let go of, she was already a woman that many others respected and admired. She just had to learn to look at herself in the same way.

After her tears had subsided and she had composed herself and her thoughts to some degree, Bella went upstairs to shower and dress for her afternoon with Jess. She already knew she wouldn't discuss Edward's phone call with her friend over the course of the afternoon. She would keep her own counsel until she returned home and had the opportunity to discuss things with Dan. With that in mind, Bella set off a little after twelve noon for a movie and an afternoon with her friend.

It was just before six when Bella pulled into the driveway of her house. She wasn't surprised to see the lights on. She'd expected Dan to be home. As she parked and got out of her car, she mentally prepared herself for the conversation that was to come. Her support of whatever decision Dan was to make would be her gift to him. She would just need to wait and see what he wanted to do and then back him one hundred percent.

Bella let herself in the back door and was removing her coat when Dan approached from down the hall.

"Hi, Mom! Did you have a good afternoon?"

"Hi, love. Yes, I did. How about you? I've hardly seen you all weekend."

"I told you I was crashing at Chris' right?" Dan asked as Bella removed her shoes and put on her house slippers that she kept inside the door.

"Yeah. No problems there. I suppose I got used to seeing you quite a bit while we were away, and I've hardly seen you at all, it seems, since we've come home."

"It's a bit like that, huh. I just got myself a beer. Would you like a wine or something? I got takeout Chinese for dinner."

"Really?" Bella said, sounding surprised.

"I picked it up on my way home. Wine?" he asked again as he walked back toward the kitchen.

"Sure. That would be great," Bella replied, following him down the hall. _Edward's obviously called him. He wants to talk. _"Do I need to heat anything up?"

"I don't think so. I only got home five minutes before you. Here you go," Dan said, handing Bella her wine.

"Thanks, love. So, what's news?" Bella hedged.

Dan started putting the takeout cartons on the table along with their plates and cutlery.

"I had a phone call from Edward this afternoon."

"Really?" Bella replied, feigning innocence.

Dan leveled her with a stare.

"I know you know, Mom. Edward told me he'd spoken to you."

"Oh!" Bella said, her mouth forming a perfect O as her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline.

Dan laughed.

"So, you tell me, Mom. How much do you know?"

"Unfair! It's your job offer. You should be telling me the details!"

"I don't know what you know."

"Well, that makes two of us...so spill," Bella said unceremoniously, pulling out her chair and taking a seat. "Tell me all about it."

"OK," Dan replied, mirroring his mother's actions while a smile lit his face. "Well," he started as he scooped noodles onto his plate, "the Foundation is brand new, and it's being headed by a guy Carlisle knows. I would be his P.A. of sorts, working side-by-side with him to establish the Foundation. We'd be finding sponsors and raising funds as well as the Foundation's public profile and so forth."

"Listen to you, Mr. Businessman!"

"It's a pretty exciting idea, really, to come in on the beginning of something like that."

"Did Edward tell you anything much about this friend of Carlisle's? Eleazar somebody or other?"

"Delgado," Dan finished for her. "He told me that he's worked on the board of foundations and charities for a long time, and was looking for one more project to take on before her retires in a few years time."

"So, it would just be the two of you?"

"Initially. There is a board that Edward and Carlisle will both be on, their lawyer, Alex, I think his name is, and a representative from the hospital that we would answer to."

"When would they want you to start?"

"Within a month."

"A month?"

"Maybe sooner? Edward wants to organize a conference call between Carlisle, Eleazar and me for tomorrow night."

"Like an interview?"

"Yeah, I suppose so. Neither of them really knows me, so Edward's keen to get us talking and see if we gel, and I suppose Eleazar would want to work out if I can be what he needs."

"How do you feel about that?"

"The conference call?"

"Hmm," Bella replied in between mouthfuls.

"It's cool."

"It's hard to make a good impression over the phone."

"I'll just have to prepare, that's all. Ask the right kind of questions, that sort of thing."

"You sound confident."

"Don't worry, Mom. I know it's not a done deal or anything. I'll do my best."

Bella and Dan busied themselves with eating for a few minutes before conversation picked up again.

"So," Bella started. "What you haven't really said is whether or not you want the job."

Dan looked at his mother, his demeanor serious.

"I want the job, Mom."

"I thought you might."

"It means that Cassie and I will be almost in the same place."

"I know. That will be good for the both of you."

"Yeah. But what I'm most interested in is if I take this and move to California, will you come, too?"

"Dan..." Bella started. "This is your job, your life. I'm not about to stomp all over it."

"But it's a long way away, Mom."

"I know that."

"If you don't come, you'll be here all alone."

"No, I won't."

"But I'll be there."

"Yes, you will be. But I have a life, you know. I'm not some spinster who sits at home with her knitting needles and rocks herself to sleep each night in a rocking chair. Did I waste away when you went overseas?"

"No."

"See? I am perfectly capable of living on my own and looking after myself. Don't forget who is the parent here, love."

"I don't want you to be by yourself."

"Dan, look at me. I'm a grown woman who has raised a son, and now that son is ready to leave home. Millions of mothers all over the world have managed to cope with this exact situation time and time again, and I will be no different. This is your time in life to spread your wings and go after what you want. If Cassie and living in California is something you want, then go for it."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be right here. And who knows what the future holds? I might just sell everything up one day and move in with the two of you. Cassie would just love that, I'm sure."

Dan laughed.

"It wouldn't be so bad."

"I'm not talking from personal experience, obviously, but most mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws usually get on better if they are separated by a bit of distance. I could always be the exception of course since I am just _so_ perfect, but you never know...living in the shadow of such perfection might actually upset Cassie just a little, given time," she said, looking at him from under her eyelashes, tongue firmly in cheek.

"Mom, stop it."

Dan and Bella both laughed and smiled at each other with affection.

"Seriously, love. I mean it. You go and start living your life. I'll be fine, and we don't know what the future will hold. If you find yourself staying permanently in L.A. then maybe one day I may move, but for now...I'm perfectly happy to stay put. I followed you across country once. I'm not going to pack up and move again just 'cause you've decided you prefer the sunshine to snow."

Dan looked carefully at his mother.

"Are you sure you're OK with this?" he asked her.

"Yes. This is your time, Dan. Make the most of the opportunities that are presented to you. Chase your dreams."

Dan looked at his mother, his adoration for her clearly visible.

"Thanks, Mom," he said, his voice full of affection.

Bella smiled. "I love you, too, Dan."

They smiled at each other before Dan refocused on his plate and began eating with gusto.

"Have you thought about where you might live?" Bella asked him.

"Edward said I could live with him. I don't have much, and he's got plenty of room. Long Beach isn't too far from L.A., so the commute shouldn't be too bad."

"So you would be based in L.A.?"

"Eleazar has an office at his house apparently. We'd be based from there initially, I think."

"Sounds like things are really coming along."

"Maybe."

"Have you thought about your job here? When are you going to tell them?"

"I haven't got the job, yet, Mom. I have to wait until after tomorrow night's conference call. Edward said they'd call me back the following day after they've had a chance to meet privately."

"Have you told Cassie yet?"

"No! And I don't want to. Not yet. Not until after I find out the outcome of the interview."

"Fair enough. No point in getting her hopes up."

"That's the way I see it."

"Hmm."

"Mom?"

"Yes, love."

"If I take this job, chances are I'll be out there before Cassie's 21st."

"That's right. I hadn't thought of that, but you're right."

"Will you be alright coming out on your own?"

"Dan," Bella said, sighing and looking at him cross-eyed. "Unless they expect me to fly the plane, I'm sure I won't get lost getting on a plane here and getting off one there."

"I'd meet you at the airport," he offered.

"Well, that would be nice, seeing as I would have traveled goodness knows how many hours to get to you."

"Ohhh. Sarcasm," Dan joked.

Bella smiled and then her face turned serious.

"Wow. This could all really happen that quickly. In just over a couple of weeks, you could be living in California."

"I know."

"Wow."

Dan looked over at his mother, a concerned expression on his face.

"Don't you go giving me that look," she warned him. "It's just that this time last year, you hadn't even told me you wanted to go on a holiday...and now look at us. You've been overseas, met Cassie, found your father, and now you're planning on moving to the other side of the country. If somebody would have told me all that would happen in less than twelve months I would have told them they were dreaming."

"It's been a crazy year, hasn't it?" Dan agreed.

"That it has," Bella said. She looked at her son. "Tell me, Dan, even though I believe I know the answer. Are you happy? Is this what you really want?"

Dan looked at his mother seriously. "More than anything, Mom."

"Well, good. You're obviously making the right decision."

Dan smiled at her.

"What about you, Mom? Are you happy?"

Bella reached for her son's face and stroked his cheek lovingly. "Yes, love. I'm happy. We've done well, you and I, and now it's time for us to move on to bigger and brighter futures."

Dan left his chair and hugged his mother.

"I love you, Mom."

She hugged him back, even more tightly that he held her.

"I love you, too, Dan."

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of activity.

The day after his successful conference call, Dan had formally accepted the position with the Cullen Foundation. From that moment on, life had charged ahead full speed.

Dan had given notice at his current job and had started packing up life as he knew it in New Hampshire. Bella helped him each night after work, sorting through the bits and pieces he'd accumulated in recent years, discarding things he felt he would not want to take with him and carefully packing the things that he did.

Cassie had been beside herself with excitement at the news of Dan's impending move, and even Bella found it difficult not to be swept up in the general enthusiasm that surrounded the event. There were several impromptu gatherings for Dan with various groups of friends – old college buddies and colleagues to name a few. Chris, once again, became a regular visitor in the two weeks leading up to Dan's departure, helping his friend box up his gear while teasing him mercilessly for being prepared to leave the cold for the warmth of the West Coast - and Bella had accurately suspected that the California sun wasn't the only warmth to which Chris was referring.

Moving in with Edward provided Dan many advantages. He'd sold his car because Edward was happy to let Dan drive his second car, an older model Volvo that he'd loved and kept in storage in his garage, never having been able to part with it even after he'd upgraded to his Audi. Since Dan also didn't have to worry about establishing himself in a new home, apart from the cost of his airfare, there also wasn't much in the way of additional expenses associated with his move, aside from the cost of transporting his meagre possessions to California. He'd organized to have his mail redirected to Edward's address in Long Beach and intended to open new bank accounts once he was settled and have his money, what little of it he had, transferred.

Throughout the next few weeks, Bella and Edward had been in daily contact. Bella could tell that Edward was beyond excited at the prospect of having his son come to live with him. He asked Bella all kinds of questions from what kind of toothpaste Dan used to what his favorite type of beer was. Bella answered each phone call and each question with good grace. She was happy for both men and knew that having this kind of close relationship was long overdue for both of them.

Bella managed to keep her nagging sadness at bay via her counseling sessions. Dan's move had precipitated a slight shift in her immediate counseling needs while Bella worked out how to deal with her conflicting emotions. But as the counselor pointed out to her, this was all part of getting to know who Bella the person is, which, after all, was Bella's primary goal.

Edward, too, was very aware of Bella's emotions during this period, and this formed part of the reason for his daily calls and emails. Sometimes, he asked her questions just for the sake of it, to keep her talking and to help her feel a part of what was happening. The last thing Edward wanted was for Bella to feel left out or cast aside. It still tore him up inside to know that Bella was going to have to deal with this separation as a result of things he had instigated, and he was doing his best to support her, just like his mother had intimated. He'd promised to be her friend, first and foremost, and if time had other plans for them at the moment, then he would be the best friend he could be.

Bella and Edward's phone calls weren't always restricted to discussions about Dan. Bella would share with Edward things she had learned from her counseling sessions, either about herself or, more generally, about a person's ability to express and deal with emotions. Bella had believed she had a fairly thorough grounding in psychology through her teacher training, but as she told Edward, she was learning more and more each time she and her counselor met. It was turning out to be a very successful, if not emotionally taxing, journey for Bella, and even after only four sessions, she believed she was reaping the rewards of a fresh perspective and increased self-awareness.

Edward was extremely proud of Bella and her determined attitude to make the most of the current circumstances. He admired her tenacity and upbeat approach to life as well as her willingness to step out of her comfort zone and face challenges head on. This was definitely a different Bella to the one he had met on his first visit to New Hampshire. Thinking back on that time, he remembered her quiet but steely determination to protect her son from the secrets in her past, and he now grimaced when he remembered how angry and upset he'd been when he'd been so determined to confront her and demand to know why she'd never bothered to find him and tell him he'd had a son.

The weeks that Dan prepared himself to move cross-country had also given Edward the opportunity to reflect upon just how close he and Bella had become in recent months and how much the thought of Bella being left on her own across the other side of the country unsettled him.

And as the time of Dan's departure grew nearer, he was still unable to reconcile himself with that thought.

Before any of them knew it, Saturday morning had arrived. The previous twenty-four hours had seen Dan work his final day and drive home to Lebanon for the final time. Dan and Bella had opted for home delivered, take-out Thai for his last meal at home, Bella preferring not to eat out in public in case she couldn't keep her emotions in check.

As it turned out, their last meal together became a rather rowdy affair. Jess and Mike had arrived, determined to not only send Dan off with a bang but keep Bella from becoming too melancholy. Chris, who also wasn't prepared to let his best friend go without a big send-off, crashed the impromptu party and then had decided, at Bella's insistence due to his party-happy state, to sleep overnight.

It was a little after nine the next morning when Chris and Dan finally stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen to greet Bella.

"Morning, Mom," Dan moaned at her as he crossed the kitchen to the coffee pot.

Bella laughed under her breath at her son.

"So, I take it tequila shots at two a.m. have made you a bit slow off the mark this morning, huh?" she said, smiling into her coffee.

"Was it two?" asked Chris, silently reaching out and taking the cup of coffee Dan had just poured from his grasp. "I thought it was three?"

Dan sneered at Chris but said nothing before he poured himself another cup.

"I fell asleep just after two. It could well have been three by the time you finished up. I really have no idea."

Dan sipped at the steaming cup of black brew he held reverently in his hands.

"How bad's the mess in the living room?" Dan asked between sips.

"Let's just say it's lucky it was your last night home. I've cleaned it up already. Consider it a parting gift."

"Thanks, Mom," Dan said, feeling guilty.

"You're welcome. Are you boys ready for breakfast?"

"How much grease do you have in the fridge?" Chris asked.

"Bacon and eggs with hash browns sound alright?" Bella shot back.

Chris sighed into his coffee cup.

"I love you, Bella."

"I'm sure you do," she said, answering Chris. "Why don't you two go and make yourselves look somewhat respectable while I get a start on things."

"You don't have to do that, Mom. Chris and I can cook breakfast."

This time it was Chris who gave Dan a withering stare, which Dan readily ignored, but made Bella laugh.

"It's fine. You've got fifteen minutes."

"Deal," Chris said, without hesitation before he made his way out of the kitchen.

Bella again laughed at Chris' antics as she watched him make his way up the stairs. Dan remained in the kitchen.

"You'd better get a move on, love," she said to Dan, "or Chris will be back here and eating your share of breakfast before you know it."

Dan smiled lovingly at his mother and crossed to the table to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Eww!" Bella exclaimed, pushing her son away as the smell of alcohol overwhelmed her. "How's the head?" she asked, unnecessarily.

"Where's the Tylenol?"

"There's some under the bathroom cabinet, I think - if Chris hasn't beaten you to them," Bella teased.

"Thanks."

"Scoot. You've got thirteen minutes left before I serve up breakfast."

"I'm going. I'm going," Dan uttered as Bella pushed him from the room.

Two hours later, Dan was making a last sweep of his room.

"Have you got everything?" Bella asked him from the doorway.

"I think so."

"Whatever you've left behind, I can forward on," she said helpfully.

"Thanks." Dan looked to his mother and gave her a tight lipped smile. "Are you sure you're alright about Chris driving me to the airport?"

"Absolutely. Honestly, I'm happy for him to take you – no crazy parking man waving me off for standing too long in the drop-off zone."

"I'll text you when I'm about to board."

"You'd better."

"And again as we approach L.A."

"Good," Bella said, deliberately keeping her answers brief to hold back her emotions. A moment later, as she watched Dan survey his room for the umpteenth time she asked, "You're going to stay in L.A. tonight with Cassie?"

"Yeah," Dan answered distractedly as he lifted up the comforter to check the floor under his bed one last time. "Edward doesn't get back in until after midnight, so we'll head out to his place to meet him in the morning."

"Did he say where he was going on such short notice?" Bella asked perplexed. She was a little put out that Edward wouldn't be there to meet Dan when he arrived in L.A.

"No. He just said he had a last minute thing for work he had to take care of and that was fine with me. It gives Cassie and I some alone time, seeing as I'll start work on Monday."

"Ok," Bella answered. If Dan was alright with it, who was she to question things. _Let go, Bella. Let him go._

"Well. I'm all done here by the looks of it."

"Looks like it," Bella agreed. She stepped backwards out of his room and made her way down the stairs. She took a deep but silent breath, pushing her emotions way, way down to be dealt with later. She heard Dan walking down the stairs behind her and made her way into the kitchen to see Chris' backside sticking out of the fridge as he foraged for food. His head popped up when he heard them enter.

"You all ready?" he asked as he stood, a container holding left over cheesecake that Jessica had brought with her the night before in his hands.

"Yeah, but it looks like you'll be a while yet," Dan said, following his mother into the kitchen.

"Give me five and I'll be ready," Chris answered with a wink in Bella's direction as he crossed to the sink and opened the container. He then grabbed a fork and began to eat directly from it as he leaned back against the sink.

Bella merely rolled her eyes and smiled quietly to herself before she turned to face Dan.

"How long's your stop-over in Cleveland?"

"I don't know really. I haven't bothered to check. I'll get into LAX in time for dinner West Coast time."

"Hmm," Bella replied, nodding her head and feeling terribly self-conscious and ill-at-ease.

"I'll just go out and throw this last lot into the back of your car," Dan said, looking at Chris.

"No need. I'm done," Chris said with a mouthful of food while he reached and place the now empty container into the sink. "And we should get going, Bud, just in case we get stuck somewhere. We don't want you missing your flight and having to come back home again...not when your mother has plans to gut your room this afternoon and turn it into a yoga room."

"A what?" Dan questioned, turning to look in disbelief at his mother.

"Don't listen to him," Bella said, swatting Chris on the shoulder as he grabbed Dan's bag and went to move past her.

"What about a meditation room? Or a games room? I know... you could get yourself one of those _Wii Fits_ and turn it into an exercise room," Chris continued as he backed his way down the hall towards the front door with Bella and Dan following him.

"A study is probably the best idea," Bella said laughing. "I'd have more use for that than anything else you've so thoughtfully suggested."

"Right," Chris said, stopping at the door. "Probably...but give the _Wii Fit_ some thought...it looks like fun," he said, winking at her again for good measure. "OK. I'm off to the car. Take care of yourself, Bella, and I'll see you around."

"Shall do. Thanks for taking him to the airport for me, Chris," she said as he leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek, which she returned.

"No worries. Gotta make sure this brute gets on the plane an' all. Meet you at the car, big guy," Chris said before turning and heading off down the small set of front steps at Bella's front porch.

Bella turned to look at her fully-grown son. _Why do I see the man but remember the little boy?_ she wondered to herself as she prepared to let him go.

"So...Mom..." Dan began uneasily. "I guess this is it."

"I'd say so," Bella answered, smiling at him, but the smile not quite reaching her eyes.

"I don't know quite what to say, Mom."

Bella blinked back her tears.

"How about, _see you in a few weeks_?" she kindly suggested.

"Yeah," Dan said, his voice breaking with emotion. "See you in a few weeks," he parroted back at her, his voice choking on the words.

"You go, love," Bella said, reaching up to embrace him and hold him close one more time, her own tears running down her cheeks.

Dan, too emotional for words, wrapped his arms around his mother and buried his face into her neck and nodded his head.

"You're doing the right thing here," Bella continued as she held and gently swayed with her son. "You go have fun and start a wonderful life in California."

Again Dan just nodded, his face still buried in her neck.

"And don't make me kick your ass by messing this up," she said finally, pulling away from him and smiling at him through her tears. "You've got a good thing going here. Don't mess it up."

Dan smiled back at his mother. "I won't, Mom. Promise."

"Good," she said, slapping his shoulder for good measure and then resting her hands on his upper arms. "Now," she said, reaching up to kiss his cheek, "you head off and don't worry about me. Make sure you get on that plane and sit back and enjoy the flight. You've got a big week ahead of you by the sounds of it."

Dan stood tall, holding his mother by her waist and nodding to acknowledge her words. He smiled at her, his face full of emotion. "I will," before adding, "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Dan," Bella squeaked as she embraced him once more briefly, which Dan happily returned.

"Now, go!" Bella ordered.

"Yes, Ma'am," Dan said cheekily stepping back from her. "I'll call you from the airport."

"A text will be fine," Bella said, knowing that her emotions may still be too raw to actually speak to him without tears again.

"OK. Bye, Mom."

"Bye, love." And Bella watched as her son walked down the steps and away from her home for the last time as a resident. As of the next day, he would have a new home and a new life – one she would happily participate in, albeit from afar.

Dan turned to wave briefly before he sat down in the passenger's seat and shut the door.

Chris offered Bella the smallest of waves before he backed the car out the drive and started to slowly cruise off down the road, Dan waving all the way, his head and shoulders hanging out the window until Chris turned the corner and pulled out of sight.

Bella waved continuously until she could no longer see the car, tears falling unchecked down her face. She cut a solitary figure on her front porch, one arm wrapped protectively around her middle as the other waved farewell. When she could no longer see the car, she wiped at her tears and then hugged both arms to her middle. She turned and made her way back into her house, closing the door quietly behind her.

Neither Dan nor Bella, in those intense final moments together, noticed the silver car parked diagonally down the street or the occupant inside who wiped away at his own tears as he watched the two people he had come to love say goodbye to each other.

Edward sat there and decided that he would give Bella a moment of privacy to compose herself before he knocked on her door. He knew he owed her that much.

* * *

AN:

There have been quite a few new readers who have come on board the TTTB ship lately...thanks...and thanks also to those of you who rec this story out there in fic land. I appreciate it.

I aim to update in a fortnight, but I have a few speedbumps on the road in my private life at the moment and they are out of my control, so I will do my best, but I can't guarantee.

Until next time

Leisa


	41. Chapter 41

**Welcome Back Everyone**

I have many things to be grateful for in my life. A loving husband, wonderful children, a great family, and many new friends I have made who I suspect I will never meet, but for whom I am so grateful, just the same.

SM owns twilight... I love what I do with her characters with a few of my own thrown in.

Lalina - you never cease to challenge me and tell me when I need to tweak things to make them right. I am forever grateful that you didn't think I was some kind of horrible-pain-in-the-ass reader and you befriended me instead.

Grendel - you are one amazingly intelligent and supportive lady and I am so glad that you took this nutty Aussie under your wing.

Sandy - you have your own special news to share and I hope I can blast it from the rafters next chapter release!

without further ado...here you go

* * *

**Ch 41 - A Promise of Tomorrow**

Edward got out of the silver rental car, locked it, crossed the street, and headed towards Bella's house. His thoughts were focus solely upon the woman inside. He was worried for her. He was worried about her. He was worried about what would he find once he was inside.

As Edward walked up her drive and bounded up the steps toward the front door, his only thought was about holding her tight and close.

He knocked rapidly and then stood with his hands in his pockets, rocking up and down on the balls of his feet. His actions displayed his impatience.

While he waited what felt like an eternity for the door to open, his eyes widened as new and unwelcomed questions invaded his thoughts.

_What if she doesn't want any visitors?_

_What if she doesn't want to see me?_

_What if she's angry that I'm here?_

Edward didn't have any time to process his answers as Bella, having heard the rapid knocking, hastily wiped the tears from her eyes and crossed to the door. She looked through the peep hole and was stunned to see Edward standing there. She immediately unhooked the safety chain and swung open the door to greet a now anxious Edward.

"Edward?" Bella asked, almost not believing what she was seeing. "What are you doing here?" It then took only the briefest of moments, as she looked at him, for fear to suddenly grip menacingly at her heart. Within a split second, it was mirrored in her expression. "Where's Dan? What's wrong?" she questioned, her eyes darting from left to right as if she were looking for an injured Dan or some other obvious explanation as to why Edward was suddenly standing, unannounced, at her front door.

Taken aback and confused by Bella's burst of rapid questions and the tortured expression on her face, Edward did his best to answer them.

"Nothing's wrong, Bella. Dan's just left. He's on his way to the airport with Chris," he replied, gesturing over his shoulder and down the street.

Somewhat relieved that Dan seemed to be nowhere in sight, Bella turned her attention back to Edward.

"I know he's on his way to the airport," Bella said irritably.

Edward, a little dismayed by her abrupt and dismissive tone, watched her as her eyes once again darted briefly around him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him again.

"I came to see if you were alright," he said quietly.

Bella stopped her hurried scanning of the front yard and looked up at Edward. "What?" Bella said, her brow wrinkling and her attention finally back on him.

"I came to see...if you were alright," he repeated, more hesitantly this time as he looked at the frown on her features.

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" Bella asked him, her brow creases deepening.

"I wanted to see that you were OK," Edward said, deliberately avoiding her question.

Bella didn't respond. She stood there and shook her head slightly from side to side as she tried to process what Edward was saying.

"Bella? May I come in?" Edward asked tentatively, reaching for her elbow with one hand.

"What?" she asked again, still not taking everything in. She looked at Edward's intense but gentle eyes and finally remembered her manners. "Oh, yes, of course. Sorry," Bella said, her eyebrows still knitted together as she stepped back to allow Edward entrance. "Come in."

Edward moved quietly into the house. He waited silently, giving Bella time to close the door behind them and join him before he ushered her into the living room, his hand resting gently on her lower back.

"I still don't understand why you're here," Bella stated finally, putting an end to the silence that had fallen between them.

Edward regarded her closely. It was obvious to him that she'd been crying. Her eyes displayed the telltale signs, and her skin didn't have its usual smooth sheen.

"I came to see for myself that you were OK," he answered honestly.

Bella nodded. The shock of seeing Edward at her front door was beginning to wear off, and she was feeling confused and a little agitated.

"Why wouldn't you think that I'd be OK?" she asked him.

Edward shrugged. He didn't know what to say to her.

"What did you expect to find?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"Well, you must have had some idea," she challenged him, feeling annoyed that he was being so evasive. "When did you arrive? How long have you been here?"

Edward smiled somewhat patiently at Bella. He could tell she was feeling more than a little bewildered at his unexpected arrival and while it hadn't been the greeting he had hoped for, he tried to understand her reaction.

"My flight arrived in Manchester this morning, and then I rented a car and drove here."

Once again, Bella nodded her head slowly as she processed what he told her. "How long have you been here?" she asked, annoyed that he didn't seem to be answering all of her questions.

"In Lebanon?" he clarified, raising his eyebrows at her. When she nodded her head in response, he answered with a shrug of his shoulders. "Half an hour or so."

"Have you been outside the whole time?"

"Yes."

"So you saw..."

"I saw Dan leave. Yes."

"I didn't see you."

"I was in a car parked just down the street."

Bella pursed her lips and thought about this and what Edward would have witnessed.

"Did Dan know?"

"That I was here?"

"Yes."

"No."

Bella couldn't properly determine how she was feeling. She felt a variety of things—anger, annoyance, frustration, gladness.

"Did he know you were coming here?" she asked, continuing to question him as she tried to work out whether or not Dan had a hand in this little surprise.

"No."

"So, he had no idea..." Bella continued, leading Edward into further explanation.

"No, Bella," Edward replied calmly. "Dan had no idea I was coming."

Bella shook her head again. "I can't believe that you flew across the country just to see if I was alright," she reasoned. _Why would he do that unless he expected me to be a blubbering mess?_

"Why not?"

"Why not? Because it's crazy, that's why not," she said, her voice elevating. "People just don't fly across the country at the drop of a hat." _People without money to spare, that is. I've never had the kind of money to be so whimsical, _she thought disparagingly_. _

"I needed to know you were alright," Edward said, repeating his earlier explanation.

"So you've said. But as I've said, what did you expect to see? Me, wailing and throwing my arms about?" she said, demonstrating the action for him. "Or, I know," she continued, "me, collapsed on the floor and sobbing?" Bella squared off to face Edward. "Oh, of course. Now I know", she said, allowing contempt to enter every word she uttered. "Me, sitting on the front steps, tears rolling down my cheeks and wondering what I was going to do with my life now that my one and only reason for living had just driven off down the street?" Bella's voice continued to rise with each and every scenario. Her arms punctuated each statement with a variety of demonstrative actions. She realized now, that more than anything else, she was angry. Angry with Edward for having thought so little of her that he'd believe she would actually create a public spectacle of herself with her son in their last few moments together.

"Bella," Edward said, his voice tinged heavily with reprimand.

Bella leveled him with her well-practiced teacher-like stare. "I'm a big girl, Edward. I told you I'd be alright," she reminded him, her eyebrows raising and challenging him to disagree.

"I know you did."

"Then why the need to fly out and check up on me?"

"I haven't."

"You're standing right here," she yelled incredulously.

Edward took a deep breath and tried to calm his own quickly rising emotions. He tried hard not to react to her negative tone. It worked, marginally.

"I came because I wanted to be with you," he stated clearly while deliberately slowing and accenting his words. "I didn't want you to be here alone. I wanted to support you as you said goodbye."

Bella drew her lips together tightly as she tried to calm her own highly-strung emotions. She looked carefully at Edward. She suspected she was being unreasonable, but his whole visit threw her off guard, and she really couldn't read the emotions she saw displayed on his face. "There are some things I just need to do on my own," she said finally, matter-of-factly.

Edward counted to ten before he responded. "And you did. I didn't intrude. I waited to see you until after Dan had left."

Bella closed her eyes, at last accepting the truth of what Edward had just said. "I was never going to cause a scene, you know," she admonished him quietly, giving him one last reminder that she was better than that.

"I knew you wouldn't," he answered her softly. His fingers flexed by his sides. He wanted to reach for her, but he didn't know how she would respond. So far today, he hadn't gauged things too well at all.

Bella's tempter spiked again, unexpectedly. "You seem to think you know a lot, don't you?"

Edward winced. For a brief moment, he thought that she was over being confrontational. Obviously, she wasn't. "Bella," Edward said exasperatedly, "I wanted to be here - _for you_."

Bella opened her eyes and looked into Edward's. Her breath caught in her chest. "For me?" she uttered quietly, and for the first time, she allowed herself to consider that maybe Edward had come for no other reason other than to support her and be a friend when she needed one most. Edward smiled at her. He knew, at last, he had reached beyond her insecurities. "Yes."

Bella closed her eyes again. She tried in vain to hide her feelings from him. "You didn't come just to check up on me?"

"No," he answered, still smiling, even though she couldn't see.

"And not because you thought I wouldn't cope?"

"No. I wanted to be here to share this _with_ you. I wanted to reassure myself that you're as strong as I think you are, and I wanted to hold you and let you know that despite the distance that will separate us, you are still a very important part of our lives."

Bella shoulders sagged, and she felt tears spring up behind her eyes. She raised one hand to her lips, her fingertips gently squeezing them closed-a subconscious effort to keep her emotions in check. Bella took a deliberate breath as she fought the inevitable.

"I would never forgive myself if you had needed me now and I wasn't here for you," he told her, keeping his place despite his body aching to hold her and comfort her.

"Oh," Bella said, her face crumpling as the tears began cascading down her cheeks.

"Come here," Edward said, reaching for her and pulling her into his arms. He held her securely with his cheek, coming to rest on the top of her head.

Bella, her defenses finally down, allowed herself to be held and rocked gently. She buried her head into his chest before bringing her cheek to rest there. She hugged him back, feeling for the first time that she didn't have to keep her emotions in check. Now, in Edward's arms, she could be Bella, the mother who just said goodbye to her son.

Her tears continued to flow, one set of almost silent tears after the other. She released one arm from around Edward's torso and wiped at her face again and again. The hot tears streaked her face and smeared what was left of her make-up as she brushed them away.

Edward said nothing. He was finally doing what he had wanted to do for the last hour or so – even longer – he reminded himself. He'd wanted to hold Bella again since he'd left her at the airport in Manchester in early January. Despite the circumstances, he felt good. Things felt right.

"You really get to see me in all my best moments, don't you?" Bella joked as she relished the warmth of his embrace.

Edward smiled warmly and kissed the top of her head. "I don't mind. I kinda like the predictability of it," he joked back at her.

"I'm not usually like this you know," she said, pulling back to look up at him. "It's only been since I've met you."

"Is that a compliment?" he asked her.

"I don't know," she said, part-frowning and part-smiling.

Edward pulled her back into his chest and nestled her there again. "I'll take it as one."

"How so?" she queried.

"I'll consider it a compliment because I must be the one person you can truly let your guard down with."

Bella smiled. "I think you may be right."

"Told you it was a compliment."

Bella guffawed into his chest. "If you think that getting to see me all make-up streaked and blotchy and sniffily is a good thing, that is."

"I enjoy seeing you every chance I get, Bella. I don't care how the packaging looks."

"Now that makes me sound…urgh…horrible," she said turning her head so that her forehead rested on his chest, hiding her face from view.

Edward rested his chin on her head. "You're a beautiful person inside and out. That's what I see when I look at you," he said quietly.

"Then you can't have taken a good look at me today 'cause I was anything but beautiful a few minutes ago," she replied, brushing his compliment away. "I'm sorry I was so out of line."

Edward swayed her gently as he continued to rest his chin against her head. When he spoke next, he pulled up a little to make it easier to speak.

"I will admit, it wasn't quite the greeting I'd been hoping for."

"What had you been hoping for?"

"I don't really know, but I'd be lying if I said that the idea of being your knight in shining armor and having you rush into my arms the minute you saw me standing there would have been unwelcomed."

"Knight in shining armor?" she giggled.

"The car I hired is silver," he shot back at her.

"Then that would make you The Lone Ranger. His horse was Silver."

"His horse was called, Silver. It wasn't silver colored."

Bella pulled back and looked up into his face. "Are you brewing for a fight, Mr. Cullen?"

"I don't believe I am, Ms. Swan, but I do enjoy your quick wit more than your tears."

"I'm sorry about the tears," Bella said, brushing at her cheeks.

"Don't be."

"I do seem to cry a lot around you, don't I?"

"Like I said, I take it as a compliment."

Bella smiled. "Who do you cry around, Edward?"

Edward's face became serious. "I supposed I used to cry into my whiskey glass," he answered her honestly.

Bella looked at him with concern. She hadn't expected that answer.

"But that was a long time ago. A very long time ago, and I haven't had much of a reason to cry lately. In fact, it feels like I have done nothing but smile for months now," he said, looking down at her.

"I'm sorry that you were so alone," she said to him.

"I wasn't alone, Bella. I was surrounded by family and friends, but I just chose to be an ass and not let any of them in."

Bella offered Edward a weak smile. "I wish I had known you then."

"If I had known you then, we wouldn't have had the then or the now," he told her wisely. "A very smart person told me recently to stop regretting the past and to remember it is the past that brings you your now. You just have to stop letting it dictate your future."

"That is a very wise person, indeed, by the sounds of it. Who was it, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My mother – the counselor," Edward said, raising his eyebrows.

"Esme's a counselor? I never knew."

"She's good, apparently. She dispenses good advice."

"Such as?" Bella asked. Neither of them had noticed that they were still holding each other close and hadn't let go.

"Such as not to sell you short and to trust in you and the decisions you make."

"She told you that…about me?"

"Ah huh. She also said that she suspected you'd be happy that Dan was moving to family who could support him."

"You're right. She is good."

"I've learned a lot from her."

"Sounds like I could learn a lot from her, too."

"She's dying to meet you, you know," Edward said, his eyes reflecting his joy at the idea.

"We will, in a couple of weeks."

"Everything's moving pretty quickly, isn't it?" he said, acknowledging the truth of the situation.

"I'll say," Bella concurred. "My head is spinning and has been for months it seems. It wasn't even a year ago that Dan told me he wanted to travel. And now look at us and what's happened."

"It's been frenetic, that's for sure."

"I feel like I need time to catch my breath and process it all."

"I understand that, truly, I do," Edward said, finally moving his hands from behind her back to rest them on her upper arms. Bella mirrored his actions yet brought her hands to rest lightly on his hips.

"How about I make you a coffee and we continue to talk? I suspect you might be feeling a little dehydrated after your efforts today, Ms. Swan."

"Ha…ha…" Bella replied. "You stay there. I can get it," Bella offered, dropping her arms from his waist.

"No need. I remember where the kitchen is. You take a moment to freshen up, and I'll have coffee poured and waiting," he suggested, rubbing her upper arms with his hands before adding, "You do have coffee on, don't you?"

"Yes," Bella said, laughing. "On the counter."

"Thank God for that," Edward said, stepping back and turning toward the kitchen. "Otherwise, it would have been a trip Starbucks. I don't do instant if I can avoid it."

"Me either, unless I'm desperate," Bella said, moving to the mirror above the hallstand. "Oh, my God," she said, looking at her appearance closely for the first time. "I'm a fright for sore eyes."

Edward backed out of the kitchen doorway and looked toward Bella checking out her reflection. "My eyes see you just fine, and to me, you're beautiful, inside and out, just like I said."

"Schmoozer," she replied, brushing aside his compliment for the second time.

"Beautiful," Edward whispered again as he watched her try in vain to removed the smudged mascara from under her eyes.

"Sorry?" Bella said, turning to look at him briefly before refocusing her efforts on her ruined make-up.

"Milk?" Edward said, trying to cover up his previous utterance.

"In the fridge. And two sugars, please."

"Do you have a sweet tooth today?" Edward asked from the kitchen as he crossed to the fridge.

"I think I need the pick me up," she called back to him from the hallway.

Edward smiled as he bent into the fridge to retrieve the milk. "I'd love to pick you up, Ms. Swan," he whispered very quietly this time. _One day,_ he promised himself silently. _Soon._

Edward had just over two hours to spend with Bella that afternoon. His return flight was scheduled to leave from Manchester at five o'clock, and he had to allow for driving time and security checks, even though he only had a carry-on. Edward and Bella had used their time talking and playing a game of Scrabble on their iPhones. Edward had the game amongst his applications and had shown Bella when his phone had pinged alerting him that it was his turn to move in the game he was currently playing with Emmett. Edward had been a little embarrassed by some of the words that he and Emmett had played. Boys being boys, or men being men who used to be boys, they had played many dubious words that they found amusing. Bella was surprised that the rules allowed some of them to be played.

"I can't believe it had allowed you to play penises," Bella had said to him. "Is that even a word?"

"Well, what did you think was the plural of penis?" Edward had asked her.

"I've never given it much thought, or ever had a need to use it…but…penai…maybe?" she'd suggested.

"Nope! Penises or Penes."

"Seriously? Well, I have learned something new, but I doubt I'll ever use it," she'd laughed.

Bella had heard from Dan via text twice during the afternoon. The first time was to let her know he was at the airport and had checked in his baggage. The second was to tell her he was about to board the plane and that the next time she would hear from him, he would have landed in California. Bella replied to each text after sharing them with Edward. They both smiled when reading Dan's messages but for different reasons: Edward smiled because he it was obvious to him how much their son loved his mother; Bella smiled simply because she loved their son.

Several times during the afternoon, Bella found herself watching Edward closely when he was concentrating on making a move in their Scrabble game. She'd caught herself wondering what it would be like to run her fingers along the stubble that seemed to form on his face before her very eyes. She'd watch the way his Adam's apple would bob up and down in this throat as he swallowed and the way his eyebrows knitted together when he was perplexed or stumped while trying to make a move in their game.

Sometimes, Edward would catch her studying him, and she would try to hide her embarrassment by sipping on her coffee or making a quick quip about his word skills, but during the course of the afternoon, Bella admitted one thing to herself. She had much more than just a platonic interest in Edward. He was Dan's father and her friend, but he was also becoming something much more.

Bella found that she tried to instigate little touches here and there. A gentle hand on his shoulder as she passed by the back of the sofa on her way to the kitchen. A hand on top of his hand while she was sharing a story as if to emphasize a point when really she was trying to make physical contact with him any way she could.

Edward, throughout the course of the afternoon, had noticed Bella's little intimate gestures and allowed himself to cheer inwardly that she seemed to be willing to share such moments with him. He'd hoped fervently since their separation in early January that Bella did have feelings for him, and her apparent willingness to display some of this during their afternoon together made him believe that a real relationship might be a distinct possibility for them in the future. He'd heard Bella's comments during the day about her need for time to process everything that had happened in the last twelve months and for her desire to continue with her counseling sessions. He respected her and her decisions enough to know that she wouldn't say anything she didn't mean, and so, if he was to give her anything he could, he would give her time and his affection – even if it was to remain from a distance for the time being.

It didn't stop Edward, however, from once again broaching the subject of Bella moving to the West Coast at some point in the future.

Edward and Bella had been sitting opposite each other in her living room with the coffee table between them. As the time drew nearer to when Edward had to depart, he'd risen from his seat and gone to sit next to Bella.

The mood between the two of them changed significantly in that moment. The air became charged, and Bella instinctively drew a breath and held it.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about something," Edward started.

"What is it?" she said a little breathlessly.

"I know we've talked about this before, and I understand you're not ready to make such a commitment now, but, in the future, sometime further on from now, might you be prepared to move to the West Coast if Dan decides to settle there permanently?"

Bella let out a large breath. She turned in her seat so that she was facing Edward, her legged tucked up in front of her. She held onto her shin with both hands and looked him in the eye.

"Honestly, I can't imagine being so far away from Dan permanently. It seems so unreal to me to think that he'd be there and I'd be here with so much distance between us."

Edward smiled despite himself. "So does that mean you'd move eventually?" Edward asked, realizing just how much he hoped her answer would be a yes.

"Possibly. I don't want to miss out on things like grandchildren and all that. I know there are plenty of other families out there who manage the distance thing, but I just can't see myself handling it that well."

"Grandchildren…" Edward mused aloud.

"Don't tell me you haven't ever thought about grandchildren?" she asked him in all seriousness.

"I've only just gotten used to the idea of being a father, Bella. I haven't really given any consideration to grandchildren."

"I wouldn't expect them anytime soon, mind you," Bella said, feeling suddenly embarrassed. _What the hell woman!_ her mind screamed at her, but her mouth ran on regardless. "Dan's still quite young, and while I suspect that he and Cassie are a done deal, there is still a lot of water to pass under that bridge, I think. They're both still very young."

"Grandchildren…" Edward repeated again, astounded that he had never really contemplated the idea before now.

"Well, nevermind. You'll probably have more children before grandchildren come along, anyway," she said, reaching to put her hand on his leg. _Oh, you stupid twat! Shut the hell up!_

"Excuse me?" he said, looking from her hand to her eyes.

"Children," Bella stated matter-of-factly while wondering who was exactly controling her verbal skills at the moment. "You're young enough to have more children. You've just got to meet yourself a nice younger lady who wants kids and there you go. You can have everything that has been denied you so far." Bella felt her own heart pick up speed, and she felt sick in the pit of her stomach. _Yes, Edward could meet someone young enough to give him a whole brood of noisy children, something you yourself denied him by never finding him when you knew you were pregnant. Serves yourself right, you silly old cow,_ Bella reprimanded herself_. Edward can have a whole new family, and you can just be the-older-son's-mother, where you belong,_ she thought, continuing to admonish herself.

"Who said I wanted more children?" Edward asked her, confused by the course of the conversation. _How did this go from me asking Bella about moving to California to me having more children with someone else?_

"No one….well…I just thought…that you'd want to meet someone who could give you the young family you've never had…and you've still got plenty of time for that." _Bella, I'm warning you…shut-the-hell-up!_

"But what about you?" Edward blurted out without thinking. "Have you never wanted more children?"

"More children have never been in my cards," Bella said, feeling even more uncomfortable now that the conversation had been turned back on her. "I mean, you'd have to be in a relationship to have children, and I've never been in a relationship like that so it was never really something I've ever considered. And now," she said, waving her hand around, "I'm a bit old to be taking on that kind of commitment. And like I said, I'd have to be in a relationship, and that's also not in the cards for me, so I think my childrearing days are well and truly over." Bella was trying her best to sound off-handed and unaffected by the discussion when truth be told, her heart was racing and her mind was whirling_. Shut up you stupid fool, _she told herself_. Stop it. You've all but admitted that you've never had a relationship in your life and that you're an old infertile cow who should be put out to pasture while the stud bull over there can go and take his pick from any good looking, spritely young heifer in the field. Oh God. Stop me!_

"You're younger than me, Bella," Edward reminded her.

"Yes. But women have a use–by-date," Bella responded and then cringed visibly.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked, noticing her expression.

"No. Yes. Oh God," Bella said, feeling completely humiliated and hiding her head in her hands.

"Bella?" Edward said, reaching for her.

"Can we just forget the last few minutes?" she implored. "I don't know who the hell just controlled my brain and my mouth, but it wasn't me," she explained.

"Bella," Edward said, trying to pull her hands away from her face. Bella resisted his movements, so he continued speaking to the top of her head. "You're not too old to have more children if that's what you really want," he told her.

"Oh God," Bella said, muffled between her hands.

"You could, you know. If you met the right guy. You could have another baby, or even babies."

"Oh, Edward, please stop. This is just so…" Bella let her words trail off. She was too embarrassed to continue.

"What, Bella…so what?"

Bella sighed, dramatically. "Over."

"Over?" repeated Edward. "How can you say at forty that part of your life is over?"

""Cause it…Oh, please, Edward….can't we just forget this conversation ever started?" Bella still wouldn't look at him.

"How did it start?" Edward asked genuinely. He had no idea how they got to this present point in time.

"I don't know," Bella said exasperatedly. "My mouth just started and my brain didn't keep up and the next thing you know, we're talking about things I have never discussed with anyone! Hell, I seem to do that a lot with you anyway. Why should my sex life and my female abilities, or lack there of, be any different? Oh, God. If the earth could only swallow me up right now, I'd be happy," Bella lamented, slowly looking up to meet Edward's gaze.

"Bella," Edward said warmly, feeling for her and not wanting to add to her embarrassment.

"Oh, don't you Bella me!" she said.

"Nothing you could ever say would make me…want to be anywhere else."

"Don't bet on it."

"Why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Put yourself down like that?"

"I don't."

"Yes, you do."

Bella smirked.

"Bella…"

"And there we are back at the beginning," Bella joked to break the tension.

Edward smirked back at Bella. "Touché," he said, giving way. He smiled at her and reached forward to gently rub her knee that was so close to his own. His mind shifted focus. Once again, it was back on the intimacy of the moment they were sharing. He suddenly realized that his time was now. "Bella," he started, and then smiled to himself. After so much time and so many rehearsals in his mind, it seemed like he was unable to get the words out. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I know you want time and that you need to be able to sort through things in your own way, but going back to what I think was the start of this wayward conversation, is it right for me to think that one day, somewhere in the future, you might move to California?"

Bella tilted her head and looked to Edward. Her lips smiled gently. "Yes. I'd say that's a fair assumption. I can't imagine living the rest of my life so far away from my son and what is important to him. I need to give him some time to establish himself, and I need to give myself some time to work out some things…but yes…one day I see myself, if all things work out, living on the West Coast."

Those words, so simple yet packed with so much meaning, caused a lump in Edward's throat. He cleared it once again before responding. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you've said that," he started. "I told you once before that this is not just about Dan and Cassie for me. It's about our family – you, me and Dan. Bella, for what it's worth, I can't wait for you to move. I know that it won't be straight away, but I hope, with all my heart, that you will join us sometime soon." He reached this time for her hand and held it in both of his. He took a deep breath and willed himself to get the next words out without mistake. "Bella, you're in my life now," he said. "I thank God each and every day that Dan stumbled into my life and that he brought us together. I can't imagine our futures not being intertwined." He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her hands. "My future looks very different to me now than what it did a couple of months ago. I see it, and I see us all together and happy. I'm prepared to wait for as long as you need, but when you're ready, I'll be waiting to help you join us so that we can be a family and start to build a new future for all of us."

Bella was speechless. She knew that she should say something, but when she opened her mouth, for the first time in a long time, she couldn't form words. She tried a couple of times to no avail.

Edward watched her reactions and as he waited for her to say something, he stared into her eyes. What he saw there was a mixture of emotions – happiness, fear, trepidation, anxiety – but he also saw affection. It was unmistakeable.

Slowly, very slowly, he reached up with one hand to cup the side of her face. He gently stroked her cheekbone with his thumb and sighed with relief when Bella, closed her eyes in response. He smiled with joy when she dipped her head into his hand and nuzzled him gently, a small smile appearing on her lips.

"Bella," he whispered, causing her to open her eyes and look directly into his. "As long as you need."

And yet another tear slipped from Bella's eyes, but this time, it wasn't a tear of sadness but one of gratitude and joy. "I don't know what I've done to deserve you in my life," she told him. "But whatever it was, despite all the mistakes I've made, I am very, very grateful."

Edward drew a big breath and exhaled through his nose. It would be nothing at this moment for him to grab her and draw her into his arms. He wanted to kiss her passionately and show her just how grateful he was for everything she had brought to his life and for everything she meant to him, but he knew, deep down, that the timing wasn't right. He knew one day, it would be…but for now, after yet another soothing breath, he leaned forward, and with all the restraint he possessed, kissed her gently on the forehead.

Edward heard Bella's sharp intake of breath and wondered for a moment if she thought he might have kissed her properly for the first time. He almost faltered, giving into what he suspected was both their desires, but he let his lips linger on her forehead before he allowed his nose to drift softly across her hairline – back and forth, back and forth – and with each passing he made a silent promise to himself as well as to her. _I promise to love you 'til the day I die._

He knew that one day, he would promise those words to her aloud. He knew it in his bones, in his mind and in his heart. For now, they would remain unspoken, but he vowed to himself that it would not remain that way for long.

Edward left for the airport shortly after. There was no traumatic goodbye, no sad farewell, but rather a peaceful and heartfelt "see you soon" in their final embrace, and as Edward drove away, Bella stood on her front lawn waving. He watched her from the rearview mirror with a smile on his face until he turned the corner and lost sight of her.

His phone chimed moments later.

_**See you in a few weeks**__, _it read.

_**I'll be waiting,**_ he replied.

* * *

AN: so last chapter saw me surpass the 2000 mark in reviews. That was a milestone. Thank you, each and every one of you who reviews what I write.

Thank you also to the people who rec my fic. I am hopeless at self-promotion...I couldn't sell a heater to an eskimo! seriously, I hopeless at it...just ask Raizie and Ladybugs_mum...so I am very thankful to those of you who promote my fic out in the wider fic community.

I suspect there was something else I wanted to say, and I should really make myself notes...but hell, I've had a couple of too many wines tonight and a tough day, so I'm feeling very relaxed now and my brain is no longer functioning (so any mistakes in this fic are my sole responsibility and not the responsibility of my betas 'cause I suspect they will kick my ass - arse - if they see any!)

Review anyone? Oh...and btw... there is a great combo of Clooney and Robporn over on the thread if anyone's interested.

Until next time...

Leisa


	42. Chapter 42

SM owns the rights to the canon characters – sadly, I don't.

Thanks to Lalina and Grendel. Without them, I wouldn't know that a sentence I wrote didn't work _"because it needed a comma after the prepositional phrase." _Heaven help me! If only I knew what a prepositional phrase was! LOL…and I promise next time to spell nevermind as one word the first time I write it.

More notes at the end.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 42 – L.A. - at last**

Two and a half weeks worth of phone calls, emails and texts between East and West coasts later, Bella was sitting alone in her newly revamped study on Wednesday night and working on the lesson plans that she intended to leave for the substitute teacher on Friday. She was plowing through her program and looking over a science worksheet when her phone rang. Noticing the caller ID, she was surprised to see Dan's name on the screen. It was only four in the afternoon in California. Dan didn't usually call so early.

"Hi, love," Bella said, answering the call. "This is a surprise."

"Not as much of a surprise as what I'm about to tell you," he answered her, dispensing with his usual greeting.

"Why? What's happened?"

"The boat club burned down."

"What?" Bella exclaimed. "Cassie's boat club? The one for her twenty-first?"

"Yep," Dan replied, confirming the worst.

"Oh, my goodness. When?"

"Earlier today."

"How?"

"It started in the kitchen apparently. A plumber was soldering this morning before it opened, and something went wrong and the fire started in there and spread fast – or at least that's what the news is reporting."

"Was anyone killed?"

"Nah. Mind you, I think Alice wants to kill someone right about now…maybe a smoke-tinged plumber if she can find him."

"Dan, don't go joking about things like that."

"What, Mom? It's true. Alice lost it big time, apparently."

"How's Cassie taking it?"

"She kinda followed her Mom's lead."

"That's not good. What are they going to do?"

"I'm not really sure at the moment. There's some kind of family meeting tonight up at Alice and Jasper's. That's why I'm calling now. Edward and I are heading up there shortly. We should be there by six or so our time. I'll be able to fill you in more after that, but at this stage and by the sound of it, Alice is going to have the party at their place instead."

"Really? That's not much time to pull it all together."

"Hence the family meeting from what I can tell. I'm kinda new to all this."

"Baptism by fire?" Bella suggested, tongue in cheek.

"I thought you said not to make jokes at a time like this?"

"Oh come on…you've got to admit that was kind of funny," Bella chided him.

"For you, Mom, it was pretty good," Dan conceded, laughing.

"Oh, compliments abound!" Bella said, sarcasm evident in her tone. "So, you're heading up there shortly, huh?" she asked, changing the topic back to their most immediate concern.

"Yeah."

"And is Edward driving?"

"What can I say? He likes his car."

"So do you, by the sound of things."

"Mom, an Audi convertible? Come on…what's not to like?"

Bella ignored that comment. "How is Alice going to get it all organized in time?" Bella said, wondering aloud.

"They're a pretty tight-knit family, Mom. There've been phone calls flying around all afternoon. I'm sure things will be more or less sorted by the time we get there. Esmé went over earlier this afternoon with Rosalie. Those three together are a pretty formidable team. The guys say they just stay out of their way when they're planning something."

"Oh," Bella said, laughing. "OK then." There was silence on the line for a moment or two before Bella restarted the conversation. "Will you let Alice know I'll do anything I can to help?"

"Sure thing. My guess is that we'll be heading up there again on Friday morning to help pull things together. Cassie says that her Dad's taking the day off, and I'm pretty sure everyone else will, too."

Bella was nodding her head on her end of the line. "So, how is Cassie taking this, really?"

"She's OK. She freaked out a bit at first. But she's a lot calmer about things now that it looks like something is going to work out, even if it's not a big party at the boat club."

"It'll probably be even better," Bella consoled.

"That's what I told her."

"Great minds."

"Must be," he said, smiling into the phone and missing his mom. "I'm going to have to go, Mom. Edward will be here soon, and I've got a couple of things to wrap up here before I can go."

"Alright, love."

"We'll call you later tonight and let you know what's happening."

"OK. But don't worry if you can't. I'll talk to you during the day tomorrow and find out what the go is."

"OK"

"And don't forget to tell Alice what I said."

"I won't, but I don't think they'd expect you to do anything, Mom."

"Well, I'm not going to sit there on my butt while everyone else is running around doing things."

"I'll let her know...OK?"

"Good. Take care, love. Say _hi_ to everyone for me."

"Will do. Bye, Mom."

"Bye."

Bella disconnected the call and took a deep breath. That was definitely not the phone call she'd expected to receive prior to her trip to L.A. She wondered how the sudden change in venue might affect other aspects of their weekend.

With forced concentration, Bella returned to work and finished her planning. After that, she checked over the last of her packing for the weekend away and decided to throw in a set of "work clothes" she could use if she needed to help Alice and the family work around the house in preparation for the party on Saturday night. After packing a few more last minute items, Bella closed the suitcase and carried it downstairs to leave it, along with her work bag and laptop, by the back door for the morning. The only thing Bella had left to do was leave a nice bottle of wine on the table for Mrs. Lednerg, her neighbor who was going to watch over the house in her absence.

It was a little after eleven-thirty when Bella finally settled into her bed for the evening. She read for a little while but was so exhausted that she quickly discarded her book and switched off the light. Sleep, however, proved difficult to come by. Bella was very excited by her impending trip west, and as she tossed and turned trying to let sleep overcome her, her mind continually focused on what the weekend had in store. She'd only just dozed off to sleep when she was woken by the sound of her cell phone.

"Hello?" she answered groggily.

"Hi. Did I wake you?" the voice on the other end asked quietly.

"Not really," she answered, her voice sounding husky but warm.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I was hoping you'd call."

"Really?"

"I've kind of gotten used to it," she said, smiling into the phone.

"I'm glad."

"Are you now?"

"Yes."

"You hadn't called me today, yet."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. You've had a lot on your plate from what I hear," she said, stretching. "So, how's the family meeting coming along?"

"Things seem under control at this point," Edward answered quietly. "At least, lots of lists are being made."

Bella laughed throatily. "Do you have a list?"

"Oh, we all have a list!"

"So, what's yours got on it?"

"You'll have to come visit to see!"

Bella laughed. "That could be arranged."

"Really? Any timeframe in mind?"

"Oh, twenty hours or so, give or take."

"Sounds perfect."

Bella giggled. "How's everyone holding up?"

"Honestly, after the initial panic, I think everyone's pretty happy with the way things are turning out."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

Bella heard a bit of muffled noise and could hear Edward speaking to someone in the background. She wondered if he was holding his hand over the mouthpiece of his phone.

"Alice...no...piss off...oh shit..."

She heard a lot of noise that sounded like scuffling and then was surprised by the next voice she heard.

"Bella? Hi! It's Alice!"

"Hi, Alice," Bella replied, laughing quietly under her breath.

"I wondered where Edward had snuck off to. How are you? Geez, it must be late there," Alice stated matter-of-factly.

"Yes. Just after midnight."

"Oh, my God!" Bella heard Alice exclaim followed by what she was sure was the sound of a heavy-handed slap. "What are you doing calling Bella after midnight?"

Bella felt certain that last question was directed towards Edward. She then heard some more muffled conversation through the phone before Alice came back on the line.

"Bella? I'm going to hand you back over to my brother. We're really looking forward to seeing you on Friday."

"Me, too, Alice. Keep some jobs for me. I'll help out however I can."

"Tell her she can do lemonade and lunches," Bella heard Edward intone. He'd obviously been listening in.

"I can do more than just lemonade and lunches!" Bella shot back. "Tell Edward I'm capable of more than that!"

"Alright, alright," Alice laughed into the phone as Edward began to try and wrestle it from her. "I get it! More than that! Sure! Here's my brother...bye!"

Bella heard more laughter and indistinct conversation before Edward finally came back on the line.

"Hello?" he asked.

"I'm here," Bella confirmed.

"So...where were we?"

"Quite frankly, I have no idea," Bella smiled into the phone.

"Right," Edward smiled back warmly. A moment or two of quiet settled on the line. "So," he started finally, "I suppose you need to get back to sleep, huh?"

"If you actually want me to look semi-decent when I arrive in L.A. after working all day and then flying part of the night, it might not be a bad idea."

"Do you want me to sing you to sleep?"

"You'd do that?"

"If you needed me to," he answered.

"What would you sing?"

"Maybe sing isn't the right word, but I could hum you a line or two of something I've written recently," he offered.

"Anything special?" she asked him.

"I think so."

"You've piqued my interest," she answered.

"Well, maybe I might have to see if I can do it in person when you're here?"

"Promises, promises," Bella yawned into the phone.

"You're tired," Edward observed.

"Just a bit."

"You need to go to sleep."

"Maybe," Bella yawned again.

"Go to sleep, Beautiful," Edward whispered softly into the phone.

"Mmm...alright."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Will you be picking me up?" she asked.

"Actually, I think Dan wants to do it on his own. Prove to you that he's a local now and knows his way around and all that."

"Right," Bella said, smiling sleepily. After a moment or two of silence she asked, "You do have GPS in your car, don't you?"

"Yes, I've got GPS," Edward laughed in reply, "unlike someone I know."

"I don't need it here," she retorted.

"So you say!"

"Hardy har har."

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up! I'm tired. I'm not responsible for what I'm saying."

"So, go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"At your place?"

"At my place."

"Alright."

"Goodnight, Beautiful."

"'Night, Handsome."

"Sweet dreams."

"Hmm...'night," Bella said quietly as she signed off.

"'Night," Edward whispered back to her, smiling just before he heard her disconnect.

Edward pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it in his hand, a gentle smile pulling at his mouth. He pushed off from the counter and left the kitchen to rejoin his family in the next room, but all the while his mind was centered on the woman to whom he'd just spoken. He couldn't wait for the weekend to arrive.

Bella disembarked at LAX feeling quite apprehensive and more than a little lost in the crowds. She moved with the mass of people toward the baggage collection area, and after finally locating her case amongst the hundreds of bags on the turnstile, made her way toward the exit, following both Dan and Edward's directions as best she could. She just hoped that she ended up in the right place.

The flight had been relatively uneventful, and yet, Bella's anxiety had increased exponentially the closer she got to L.A. It wasn't that she wasn't looking forward to seeing Dan and Edward again, in fact, it was exactly the opposite. Bottom line, she was becoming more and more apprehensive about meeting Edward's extended family. Sure, she had met his sisters briefly months ago in New York and had spoken on the phone with Alice on several occasions, but this time she would meet the whole family, including his parents. Deep down, Bella began to fret about what their reaction to her might be. She'd discussed this with her counselor during her most recent session and what her counselor had advised her was true. There was no way that either Dan or Edward would knowingly or willing allow Bella to be hurt and it was this that Bella tried to remember as her stomach began doing flip flops the closer she got to L.A.

Stepping out of the airport and into the relative darkness of the night, Bella tried to focus on her surroundings. She located the area Dan had described to her and moved to it, pulling her suitcase with her. There, as they had agreed, she waited patiently and dialed Dan's cell phone to let him know of her arrival.

Just shy of ten minutes later, an Audi convertible pulled up curbside. Bella eyed it with suspicion. _Surely not..._

Dan got out of the driver's seat and hurried across to his astonished mother.

"Mom!" he called toward her as he got closer before scooping her into a bear hug.

"Hi!" Bella returned cheerfully, returning his hug with almost as much pressure. "Oh, I've missed you!"

"I've missed you, too, Mom," he replied before letting her go.

Bella beamed up at her son, holding his upper arms before looking around his torso toward the car. "Nice ride," she commented, raising an eyebrow.

Dan giggled, almost like a girl. "Edward told me to bring it."

"Of course he did," Bella said, nodding her head but not believing a word of it.

"It's true!" Dan said, reaching for her bag. "It's a bit cool to drive with the top down tonight, but tomorrow he can, and let the L.A. sunshine and wind get in your hair."

"And turn up at Alice's looking like Bridget Jones? Nice!"

"You'll enjoy it, Mom."

"But what about all the infamous L.A. smog?"

"You'll survive," he said, putting his arm around her and leading her to the car.

After putting Bella's bag in the trunk and seating her in the passenger's seat, Dan moved around to the driver's side and slipped in behind the wheel.

"This is certainly different than my little car," Bella whispered under her breath.

"Pardon?"

"Nevermind," Bella said, shaking her head incredulously. _Welcome to L.A. little city gal,_ she joked with herself.

Dan pulled out into the busy traffic that buzzed around the airport and headed off for Edward's place in Long Beach. They chatted away incessantly; Dan's almost daily phone calls had really only given Bella a snippet of his new day-to-day life in California. Bella listened intently, her anxiety over meeting Edward's relatives soon all but forgotten, for now. One thing Bella couldn't get over was the amount of traffic on the roads so late at night, and when she commented as such to Dan, he reminded her that this was L.A. and that the L.A. nightlife continued on through the night, every night. Bella was amazed. Having grown up in a relatively small town, she'd never really experienced anything like this, and on such a huge scale. She wondered whether her head might fall off from all the rubbernecking she was doing.

It was just over an hour later when Dan proudly, and without having gotten lost, pulled into the street where Edward lived. Bella looked around her in absolute amazement. Even in the dark of night these houses looked impressive.

"Edward lives _here_?"

"Yep."

"Oh. My. God."

"Nice places, huh?"

"Ya think?" Bella replied, borrowing a phrase from her son's repertoire.

"Edward's place is just up here on the right," Dan explained as he slowed and prepared to turn into the drive.

Bella was stunned into silence. Having only met Edward on her own turf, she'd never really pictured him in his own environment. She was completely overwhelmed. Edward had never seemed out of place in her home, but she was already feeling completely out of depth in his.

The front lights were on and Dan had no sooner turned off the engine than the door opened and Edward was crossing to meet Bella.

"Hello, there. Welcome to California," he said, greeting her and offering his hand to help her from his car.

Looking up into Edward's obviously happy face, Bella momentarily forgot her discomfort and smiled back at him. "That's what the announcer on the plane said," she joked with him as she stood to face him.

"And here I am thinking I was being original," Edward laughed and exaggeratingly rolled his eyes.

Bella continued to smile at him, Dan's presence temporarily forgotten. "You're forgiven," she said.

"That's good," he said, looking down at her. Edward leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. "How was the flight?"

"Good. Uneventful. The car trip here has been more interesting."

"You got to see some of the L.A. nightlife did you?"

"You should have seen her, Edward. Her head was bobbing all over the place!"

"Shut up, you," Bella told her son, looking over her shoulder at him.

"It was! I don't think you've ever seen so many people in one place at one time, have you, Mom?" Dan continued, unabashed.

"I'm not that much of a country bumpkin," Bella admonished him. It was bad enough she was feeling so out of her depth without her know-it-all son rubbing it in.

"Dan, leave your mother be. It can be an overwhelming experience coming to L.A. for the first time."

"But it's not your first time, is it? You two met down here, didn't you?" Dan reminded them both.

Bella glanced up at Edward awkwardly.

"Yes, but that was a long time ago and things have changed somewhat," Edward said in Bella's defense.

"Not that much, surely," Dan said, not believing them.

"Let's go inside, shall we?" Edward suggested, effectively ending the conversation. He had his hand resting in the middle of Bella's shoulder blades. He sensed her growing discomfort in the dark and could kick Dan for not picking up on it.

"I'll get the bag," Dan offered, still completely oblivious.

"We'll meet you inside," Edward stated and directed Bella toward the front door. She walked quietly beside him as they made their way up the path and to the two small steps that lead inside.

"You have an impressive house here, Edward," Bella said, trying to make polite conversation. Dan's nonchalant reference to her and Edward's brief first meeting so many years had thrown her for a loop.

"Thanks," he answered simply, leading her inside.

If Bella thought the outside was impressive, nothing prepared her for the inside.

"Wow," she said, stunned and forgetting her manners.

"What?" Edward asked her.

"This...it's just so...wow," she said lost for words. Bella was desperately trying to regroup and get her reactions under control. _How could I have been so dumb?_ she thought to herself. _He's an award-winning composer who is famous all over the U.S. Why wouldn't he have a house to match that status?_ Bella felt completely blindsided. Edward, until this moment, had just been Dan's father and her friend, and maybe, in her mind at least, something a little more than that. And now, here she was in his home and feeling completely uncomfortable. She wondered how he ever managed to look so at ease in her own meager home when this was what he was used to living in.

"Thank you," Edward replied, feeling a little unsettled. "Come on in. The living room's this way."

"Thanks." Bella now felt more than a little embarrassed. There was an awkwardness that had settled between her and Edward that hadn't been there in months. _Regroup woman_, she told herself sternly. _Get a grip_. _You're embarrassing yourself as well as him. _"It really is a lovely home, Edward. How long have you had it?" she asked, trying to make small talk and feeling incredibly awkward doing it.

"I bought it after Tanya and I divorced; about twelve years or so," he answered honestly.

"Have you done much work to the place?"

"Bits and pieces, here and there, but nothing much after the initial renovations. I had the music room out back built from scratch. I can show you in the morning if you like."

"That would be great." Bella was cringing at the formality in their tones. She wished she could redo the whole arrival scene and not make such a fool of herself.

"I'll put your bag in your room, Mom," Dan called as he bustled into the house and moved past them down a hallway to their right.

"Thanks, love," she called after him before turning to look at Edward. "Dan sure seems to know his way around."

"He's been here over two weeks, Bella. He should by now; although, he still can't manage to remember where the can opener is kept," Edward said, laughing, "or how to wash up after himself."

"Oh, don't let him get away with that," Bella warned him. "He's been cleaning up after himself since he was a kid. Don't let him pull that one over you."

And just like that, Bella and Edward's easy rapport was restored.

"Oh, I don't mind," Edward replied.

"You're spoiling him," Bella chastised.

"It's fun. I'm enjoying it," he answered sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Don't indulge him too much," she warned him again, but then smiled warmly at him. "But I'm glad," she said, resting her hand on Edward's upper arm and rubbing it softly.

"So am I," he answered, placing his hand over hers and squeezing it gently while looking deeply into her eyes.

"So! Who's up for a drink?" Dan asked, re-entering the room and breaking the quiet moment being shared between his parents.

"I'll have one. Bella?" Edward said, smiling down at her. "Would you like some wine? I know it's late for you, but I have a nice Verdelho on chill in the fridge."

"Wine would be lovely," she answered him, and for the next forty minutes or so, despite the lateness of the hour, Bella, Edward and Dan sat and chatted and caught up over a cheese platter and a late night drink. They also discussed their plans for the weekend ahead.

Finally, Dan announced that he needed to go to bed.

"What time are you heading up to Cassie's, love?" Bella asked him from her position on the loveseat next to Edward.

"I'm going to leave here around six, I think," he answered her. "You and Edward won't need to leave that early though."

Bella looked to Edward for further explanation.

"We'll probably leave about eight-thirty or so. By the time we get into L.A., the stores should be open, and we can get everything on Alice's list and still make it to their place for a late lunch."

"And everything we need to get is on Alice's list?" she asked.

"Yeah, as well as addresses and phone numbers and opening hours."

"She sounds organized."

"You have no idea," Edward concurred. "She might be small, but she's a whirlwind of productivity."

Bella laughed quietly.

"Do you need anything, Mom, before I go to bed?"

"I don't think so, love. I'm fine."

"I'll show your mom where everything is, Dan."

Dan nodded in response. "Right. Well, I'm off then. 'Night, Mom," he said, coming over to kiss her on the cheek. "I'll see you at Alice's tomorrow."

"I'll get up and see you off in the morning, love."

"No need. It will be early," he told her.

"That's OK."

"You'll be sound asleep I bet."

"I'll prove you wrong."

"Whatever," Dan said, rolling his eyes. "'Night, Edward."

"'Night, Dan."

Bella and Edward watched Dan leave the room before continuing their conversation.

"He seems to have settled in well," Bella observed turning to face Edward.

"Hmm. I think so. He's definitely got the path between here and Cassie's well worn," he answered, mirroring her position. The two of them were now seated facing each other, one of Edward's legs bent and casually resting between them.

"How much time is he spending up there? Too much?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

"Nah. I don't think so," Edward answered her, shaking his head. "I mean, come on, Bella. They're young and in love, and he's just moved here from across the country. I'm surprised I'm seeing as much of him as I am."

"He's managing to balance work and Cassie, though, isn't he?"

"Yeah. No problems there," he said, sipping at his wine. "He's a good kid. He's got his head on straight, and Eleazar speaks highly of him and his attention to detail."

"So, that relationship's working out well, too? I mean, I gathered it was from the way Dan's been speaking, and he seems to be enjoying the work. He tells me he's been learning a lot."

"Eleazar's a very experienced guy. The Foundation's in good hands. We meet once a week, and Eleazar and Dan give us feedback on what they've been doing and what their plans are next. We give a bit of input and then off we all go again. Dan's only been on the job a couple of weeks, but he seems to have a clear understanding of it all so far."

"Everything's working out then," Bella said, trying to keep the wistfulness out of her voice before taking another sip of wine.

"Yes," Edward said, watching her closely. A moment later he asked, "But what about you? How are you doing? Really..."

"I'm OK."

"That's what you keep saying."

"'Cause it's the truth."

"You're not just putting up a brave front?"

Bella shrugged.

"You don't have to put up a brave front with me," he reminded her.

"I know," Bella said, looking at Edward with genuine warmth and affection, "it's just that I don't want Dan over here, worrying about me over there," she went on to explain. "I miss him like crazy, but I'm not going to spoil it for him. I've told you that," Bella reminded Edward.

"I know you did, but that doesn't mean that you can't confide in me."

"I have. You listened to me the other night after I had a shitty day."

"That's not what I mean."

"Well I'm not about to go all emo on you, either," she leveled him with her gaze. "This is meant to be an exciting time for the both of you, and I'm not going to be the one to put a damper on it."

"Stop being so magnanimous."

"Excuse me?" Bella asked, her voice rising slightly.

"Stop trying to be so considerate of everyone else's feelings all the time."

"Why? Just 'cause I won't break down and cry on your shoulder every time I have a bad day or am feeling a little lonely?"

"That's not what I meant."

"I'm working on things, Edward. I'm seeing my counselor. I'm in tune with what's going on with me."

"But I'm not. I worry about you."

"Don't."

"It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I..." Edward started, but then checked his thoughts. Taking a breath he tried again. "'Cause I told you ages ago that this isn't just about Dan for me, Bella. You're important to me, too, and the fact that you're alone and on the other side of the country just eats at me," he explained, "more than you know," he added quietly.

"Edward, I'm a big girl. How am I going to get Dan to stop worrying if you can't...or won't?"

"We care about you, Bella. It's part of the deal."

"Please don't. I'll be alright."

"You keep saying that," he sighed aloud. "_I'll be alright_...not that you _are_ alright...just that you _will be_," he observed.

"Edward..." Bella replied, reaching for the side of his face with her palm, her tone a mixture of reprimand and affection.

Edward closed his eyes at the sensation of her skin on his. Without thought, he tilted his head and pressed into her hand. When he opened his eyes again, moments later, Bella was looking at him intently, her concern for him clearly evident.

"I don't like the idea of you hurting over there," he told her. "I don't like the idea of you hurting at all."

Bella dared to rub the side of his face with her thumb, his stubble evident even on a face that was shaved just that morning. Bella was well aware of her own heart beating faster and louder than it had a few moments before. For her, this was a very bold move. She'd never really instigated any physical closeness between the two of them. While she was definitely becoming more aware of her own feelings for Edward, she usually let him be the one to initiate contact between them. This was new territory for her. It thrilled her inwardly that she was becoming bolder but it scared her just the same.

"I'm OK," she told him quietly as she continued to pass her thumb along the ridge of his cheek bone.

Edward, feeling completely vulnerable from such a simple touch, gently nodded his head, acknowledging her words. He didn't want to break their contact. He was secretly thrilled that Bella had reached for him of her own accord. He looked deeply into her eyes and wondered if she could read everything he was trying to convey to her without saying the actual words.

She smiled softly at him and repeated her assertion. "I'm OK."

Edward reached for her hand and gently took it in his. He pulled it around to his lips and, ever so lightly, kissed the inside of her palm before encasing her hand tightly in his and holding it against his chest. Bella's eyes followed his movements, and her breath caught at the intimate gesture. She looked into his eyes and was amazed by the intensity of the emotion she saw there. Her heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings.

"Promise me that you'll tell me whenever you're not," he whispered at her huskily. "Promise me that you'll talk to me."

"I promise," she answered him, for her mind could not come up with any other response.

The two of them sat there looking at each other, both silently offering the other a level of trust and loyalty that a few short months ago neither could have anticipated. A slight smile came to each of their lips, and a silence settled between them that neither felt the need to break, until of course, Bella's failed attempt at stifling a yawn did it for them.

"You're tired."

"A bit," she conceded, finally pulling her hand away from his and covering her mouth with it as she attempted to hold back another yawn.

"You need to go to bed."

"Mmm," she agreed reluctantly as the yawn grew in intensity.

"Come on, you," Edward said, pushing himself off the seat and extending his hand to her. "Up you get."

Bella placed her hand in his and rose to stand next to him.

"I'll take that," he said, removing her wine glass from her hand.

"No need. I can do it," replied the ever-efficient Bella who automatically switched into domestic mode once she realized what Edward was doing.

"My house. I'll clean up," he said, smiling and moving away from her and back toward the kitchen with their two empty glasses.

"I can help," she pressed, picking up the almost empty cheese platter and following him.

"You need to go to bed," he told her again, glancing over his shoulder as he noticed her following him.

"I will...in a minute."

They walked into the kitchen, and Edward rinsed the glasses before putting them in the drainer beside the sink.

"We can take care of this in the morning," he announced. "Right now, I'm getting you to bed."

"It won't take a minute," Bella said, not looking at him. Her heart continued to flutter away madly. The sound of the word _bed_ causing it to maintain its rapid rhythm. _Get a grip, woman_.

"Bella, I said we can do it in the morning," Edward chastised, his tone leaving little room for argument. "Come on. Let me show you to your room," he insisted, putting a hand on each of her shoulders and giving them a subtle squeeze as he began to maneuver her out of the kitchen.

Bella allowed herself to be propelled toward the hallway that Dan had disappeared down earlier.

"Dan's room is down the end of the hall," Edward explained quietly as he walked her toward her room. "His room has a bathroom. Sorry. It used to be the guest room, but I let him use it. It just made more sense since he was going to be living here fulltime," he continued. They stopped outside Bella's bedroom door. "I've put you in there," he whispered, pointing to a closed bedroom door. He spoke quietly so as not to wake Dan, the gentle rumbling of whom could be heard from farther down the hall. "There's another bathroom just here," Edward indicated, continuing to whisper as he pointed to the closed door across from them. "I've put a towel and shower things in there for you."

"Thank you," she replied, touched by this thoughtfulness.

Edward reached around Bella and turned the door knob to the bedroom before pushing the door open and turning on the light. Bella's eyes widened as she stepped into the room amazed by its size. A large queen-sized bed stood in the middle. It was covered with a beautifully hand-stitched quilt. Next to the bed was a small,, circular table covered in a lace cloth that fell to the floor. A reading lamp was perched on top and off to the side was a single wing-backed reading chair. A small chest of drawers, which was against the wall opposite the bed, and a large mirrored wardrobe finished off the room. Her bag, obviously placed there earlier by Dan, sat on the end of the bed.

Edward stood by silently as Bella surveyed the room. She was not to know that he had enlisted his mother's help to give the room a new look in preparation for Bella's arrival.

"Edward, it's lovely."

"I hope everything's all right," he said, continuing to whisper his voice coming from directly behind her very close to her ear.

"It's beautiful," she whispered in return.

"I'm glad you like it," he whispered back. He was close. He wasn't touching her, but her body could sense his.

Turning around, she looked up to him totally and utterly aware of how physically close they were. "You shouldn't have gone so much trouble. I'm only here for a night or two."

"No trouble," Edward said, smiling down at her. "I wanted you to feel comfortable here."

"I do," she said instantly.

Edward continued to smile. His eyes twinkled in an entirely delicious way. "Good," he replied, obviously relieved. "Well," he started. He knew he was stalling for time. He knew he was about to bid her goodnight, but he didn't want to – not at all. "I'd better let you get some sleep," he finally continued while reaching up to put his hands on tops of her shoulders and rub them gently. "You're exhausted."

"Mmm."

For the life of her, the last thing Bella was thinking about now was her fatigue. She felt stupid standing there and smiling up at him, lost for words, but it seemed like there was nothing else her body could do at that precise moment. Once again, she took in the features of his face, her eyes settling, as they had so many times that evening, on his own.

Edward reached up with one finger and gently brushed aside her bangs. He then let it drift to the side of her face before lifting it away.

"Goodnight, Bella. Sleep tight," he whispered, and then, ever so slowly, he bent to kiss her goodnight.

This goodnight kiss, however, proved to be completely different from any kiss Bella and Edward had ever shared before.

As he bent toward her, he didn't move to the side to brush his lips against her cheek as he customarily did. Rather, he gently and quite tentatively pressed his lips directly to hers. He'd kissed her on the lips before, but not even the brief kiss they'd shared at New Years, or similar ones after that, had been like this.

When the warmth of Edward's slightly parted lips touched hers, he held them there perfectly still while he used the pressure of his fingertips on her shoulders to signify his desires. Edward was nervous. He knew, having finally plucked up the courage to demonstrate his feelings for her in such an overt way, he needed to gauge her reaction to his boldness.

With neither pause nor thought, Bella pressed her lips to his in return, pushing them forward and parting them slightly, responding solely on instinct. She closed her eyes as she leaned into him, giving Edward, much to his joy, not only an intimate kiss in return but also complete acceptance of his advance.

Their kiss lasted only a few brief seconds before he pulled back. As he withdrew, while inwardly letting out a whoop of joy, Bella's lips had continued to search for his, their absence entirely noticeable for her.

When she finally opened her eyes, it was to see his shining back at her.

In that moment, both Edward and Bella knew that something significant had changed. They'd both finally crossed the line between being friends and something much more. It was a powerfully intimate moment.

"Goodnight," Bella whispered completely amazed by what had just happened.

"I'll see you in the morning," Edward uttered tenderly as his fingers continued to knead gently on the tips of her shoulders.

"See you in the morning," Bella parroted back, unable to believe that such a simple kiss could leave her unable to form her own independent thoughts.

With a final soft squeeze of her shoulders, Edward stepped back and continued to walk backward towards the door of the room, not taking his eyes from hers. "Don't let the bed bugs bite," he said in parting and with a cheeky wink and a smile, he slowly turned and left her standing alone in the center of the room.

Stunned into action, Bella crossed to the door and shut it before resting her head against the painted timber surface and closing her eyes. She exhaled deliberately, her heart racing and the sound of her blood pumping in her ears. _Oh. My. God,_ she thought. _Holy cow._

_Yes!_ Edward cheered silently to himself, allowing himself the indulgence of a fist pump as he walked down the hallway. _Yes!_

* * *

**AN:** So…

Thanks for reading…

Thegr8stofthese and Pipelynn – you have your PMs disabled so I don't get to reply to you. Thank you both so much. Your words were just lovely.

Thanks to Volexi for her hysterical reviews and tweets (and I am sorry, after FINALLY getting the courage to read this that you were sobbing so badly after the end of one of the chapters that the drinks waiter at the poolside bar brought you tissues and asked you if you were OK). Thanks also to Demons4eva who recently joined the group and left me a review after each and every chapter. You two ladies have significantly improved my review count!

Speaking of awards (well, I wasn't, cause TTTB and I never get nominated for any awards but anyway, not to digress) there are a large number of awards at the moment, and some of the loveliest people and their stories have been nominated.

Lalina (Let's Get Physical), QuietRuby (A Matter of Trust), Flubbles (A Form of Escapism) are just a few of the wonderful writers and stories that have been nominated in the awards that are currently underway. Please support them. These women write great stories and deserve to be recognized.

I wrote a one shot for this fic a while ago for the fundraiser to help the flood victims of Nashville. I only mention it again because I don't think everyone has seen it. You can find a link to it under my profile over on FF. It's the only look you'll get into the life of a pre-pregnant, teenage Bella.

I'd like to say that I'll update within a fortnight…that is the plan…but considering last week involved four sick children and two separate trips to hospitals (including an unexpected overnight stay for me), who knows what the next week or two will bring? So please be patient. I promise I won't let you down.

And Ally and Trayce…keep on keeping on and I'll try to keep tabs on you both!

Until next time

Leisa


	43. Chapter 43

**Welcome back, folks.**

**SM owns. I don't.**

**No review replies this week. Sorry! I'm really pushed for time and it was either put the chapter out today or wait until the end of the week. I hope you all understand.**

**Lalina and Grendel - a one night turn around...thanks ladies!**

**Now, on with the show.**

**

* * *

****Chapter 43 – It's Kind of A Buzz**

Bella woke to muffled sounds from outside her room. She stretched lazily, her body not yet ready to be roused from its slumber. A long day at work and the plane flight followed by late night drinks with Edward had exhausted her. Sleep, however, hadn't come easily. Smiling to herself as she rolled over and snuggled back into her pillow, Bella remembered the sensations she'd felt as Edward had kissed her goodnight. Even now, hours later, her stomach filled with butterflies as she relived those few, precious seconds. If Bella hadn't been sure of her feelings for him before then, she certainly was now. Her body was screaming them at her.

_You love him._

She said the words over and over to herself as she snuggled deeper into her covers_. You love him. You love him. _

She smiled.

"I love you," she whispered aloud into her pillow. Hearing the words helped Bella internalize them. "I love you," she repeated and let the feeling associated with saying them wash over her. _Wow, girl,_ she told herself. _So this is what it feels like,_ she continued. Bella smiled and then giggled at the silliness of it all. She felt like some immature teenage school girl with her first boy crush. She wriggled further into the bed and was surprised at the sensations that stirred within her body.

Frustrated and aching, she flopped over onto her back. During the night, fantasies of Edward and intimate moments with him dominated her drowsy mind. She guessed it had been around three-thirty when she'd finally fallen asleep. She'd been up nearly a whole twenty-four hours by that point, and her body was now feeling the aftereffects of such a long day.

As she lay there with one hand flung over her eyes, the other trailed down her body over the top of her pajamas. She let it come to rest low down on her abdomen and lost herself in thoughts of Edward. Smiling wistfully, she closed her eyes, and as her fingers began to spread and move across her belly, kneading it gently, her body responded to her touch. Her hand moved lower, the protected and private fantasy world that lived in her mind allowed her to imagine that her hand was Edward's. She began lighty rubbing herself through her clothes first, around and around, over and over, she pressed and played until minutes later, no longer satisfied with the dull sensations that promised so much yet fell short of fulfillment, she lifted her hand and pushed her fingers under the elastic waist of her pajama bottoms and into her panties. She pulled and raked the hair with her nails before she ventured even further, her fingertips coming into contact with hidden folds of skin. She groaned softly as she let her fingertips slide up and down the slit between her legs, conscious of the moisture she found there. It felt like every molecule, every cell was alive and tightly coiled, waiting to spring. _Ungh,_ she moaned as she ground her hips into her hand, enjoying the warm yet tantalizingly out-of-reach feelings such an action created.

It had been a while since Bella had pleasured herself this way. Sex had never been a big part of her life. She could count on one hand the number of intimate experiences she'd had with members of the opposite sex, and that included her first time with Edward. She'd been intimate with Steve a couple of times, but the experiences had left her feeling underwhelmed. She didn't really consider it a fault of his. Aside from what she'd read in romance novels or seen in movies, Bella really had very little experience with intercourse. Most of her sexual pleasure over the years had come from her own hands or a very handy little rabbit that she'd ordered online many years ago and that she kept well hidden in her bathroom vanity. It was partially broken now, but she'd never managed to replace it. She lacked the confidence to go into a shop to buy one over the counter, and after she'd tried to replace it online and found that particular model was no longer in production, she persisted with it since it still got the job done. She supposed, one day, that she'd have to replace it, but for now, since she knew exactly how to hold it and where to put it to give her successive, multiple orgasms, she couldn't bring herself to part with it.

Bella lay in bed and continued to enjoy the feel of her hand on her hidden skin. She rarely found that she could bring herself to orgasm without her rabbit, but that never stopped her from enjoying what she could do to herself. With one arm still thrown over her face, Bella bit her bottom lip as her hips began to search for more friction. She imagined Edward there, looking up at her from between her legs as he sucked and licked and nibbled her to orgasm. For someone who had never experienced the joy of oral sex, she used the descriptions from her reading to create her visuals, and she liked what she could see.

Her hips began to move with increasing urgency, and she was surprised to feel the muscles in her stomach begin to tighten, the first tell-tale sign that she was indeed approaching orgasm. She worked her fingers harder, her nails drawing across her folds causing her to whimper quietly while experiencing a surprising mixture of pleasure and pain. Her hand worked furiously as the muscles in her legs began to tense all the way down to the tips of her toes. She finally felt her insides squeeze and held her breath as waves of bliss rolled over her and through her. She kept a tight hold on her lower lip with her teeth, something she had learned to do years before so that Dan would never know what his mother was doing in the privacy of her own room. As she arched her back and stretched her neck, milking her unexpected orgasm for all its worth, she imagined Edward looking down on her and envisioned the weight of his body falling on hers as he finally prepared to push himself inside her. The image was enough for Bella to continue playing with her already sensitive flesh, and once again, with a series of highly erotic pictures moving through her mind, she brought herself to orgasm once more, relishing the fact that for the first time ever, she had manually brought herself to not only one but two orgasms.

Rolling onto her side and bringing her knees to her chest, she hugged them tightly, cherishing the high she experienced from her orgasms. The happy exhaustion she felt caressed her body, and she dozed where she lay, a soft smile on her lips and happy thoughts filling her mind.

Moments later, a loud, crashing sound brought Bella back to consciousness. She looked around her to look at the time on the digital alarm clock. 6:55.

"Shit," she cursed under her breath as she hastily threw back the covers. Hurrying, she let herself out of her room and crossed the hall to the bathroom. Quickly taking care of her morning ablutions, Bella walked out into the kitchen in time to see Dan and Edward picking up what appeared to be an array of broken china.

"What happened?" she asked, moving forward to help them.

"Don't step here, Bella," Edward warned her. "You don't have shoes on," he explained as he held out a hand to stop her advance.

"The handle broke," Dan said, looking up at his mom, but when she looked at him in total confusion added, "on the bag that I'd packed the platters into. Sorry I woke you."

"Oh, that's alright. I was kind of dozing anyway. Did either of you cut yourselves?"

"No. We're fine," Edward replied.

"Can't say the same for the platters, though," Dan chipped in.

"It's alright, Dan. Wasn't your fault."

"I should have picked the bag up flat instead of by the handles."

"If it didn't happen here, it would have happened when you arrived at Alice's. Don't stress about it. We can get more platters when your mother and I head out today. Alice doesn't need them before tomorrow night."

"Are all these yours?" Bella asked, feeling a little surprised. _What middle-aged man has so many platters?_

"They were," Edward said good naturedly, bumping Dan's shoulder as the two worked side by side picking up all the larger pieces.

"That's a lot of platters," Bella observed.

"Old wedding presents. Nothing important," Edward said off-handedly.

_Oh!_ Bella said to herself. _Well, that explains it._ "Where's your vacuum cleaner?"

"In the cupboard under the stairs," Edward answered her.

"I'll get it," Bella said, starting to move off before being halted abruptly.

"Bella! Would you please go put some shoes on first? There are shards of glass and china all over the place."

"Alright. Keep your shirt on."

"I just don't want you to cut yourself," he said, looking at her intently.

"OK. I get it," she said, sounding frustrated before finally offering him a half smile. "And thanks. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

Edward smiled at her in return. "And I didn't mean to be sharp with you either."

They exchanged private smiles.

"I'll go get some shoes and the vacuum cleaner. I'll be back in a minute."

With that, Bella left the kitchen and returned to her room. Putting on a pair of sneakers she threw in at the last minute, she reflected on her and Edward's brief interaction in the kitchen. Well, at least there was no awkwardness. Bella had been on too much of an emotional high from the night before, and again from her epiphany and her self-entertainment this morning, to consider that maybe Edward might have regretted last night's impromptu kiss. It hadn't been until she rushed down the hallway to see what the noise was that she briefly considered the possibility. Luckily, the commotion in the kitchen seemed to have diffused any potential problem.

Fifteen minutes later, with the floor vacuumed and the broken platters and glass in the trash, Bella and Edward walked Dan to the front door..

"Tell Alice we'll bring more platters when we come," Edward told Dan.

"Will do," Dan answered cheerily as he walked toward the Audi parked on the drive.

"I thought he was taking the Volvo," Bella said, turning her face to look up at Edward, who was standing in the doorway slightly behind her. "Change of plans. I think we'll fit everything in the Volvo more easily than we will in the Audi."

"Oh. OK."

"Are you disappointed? We can drive the Audi back if you like," Edward said, reaching up and placing his right arm around her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze.

"No…no…that's fine," Bella said, more aware of his arm around her than she was of their conversation at this point.

"So," Dan announced, slamming the trunk of the car and crossing to stand at the bottom of the two steps that led up to Edward's front door. "I'll see you two just after lunch then?"

"Maybe in time for it? I'm not real sure, depending on how much traffic we hit."

Dan nodded his head in response. "Speaking of that, I'd better get a move on. Bye, Mom," Dan said, stepping up to give Bella kiss goodbye.

Bella bent down to accept it, the action causing Edward's arm to fall back to his side. "Bye, love. Drive safe."

"Will do," Dan said, rolling his eyes at his mother's constant concern for his safety.

"Hey! Don't do that to your mother," Edward chastised.

"It's just a thing we do. S'OK, Edward," Dan answered back, smiling and shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't think so," Edward responded just as quickly.

His voice was quickly followed by Bella's. "Don't talk back to Edward, Dan," she warned him in that certain voice she used to show she meant business.

He paused momentarily. "What is it with you two?" he asked, eyeing his parents suspiciously. "Did you get together last night and decided to gang up on me? I'm nearly twenty-two, you know."

Bella and Edward looked at each other briefly before Edward turned to Dan and replied, "Yes. We know that, and no, we didn't. But just because you don't live with your mother anymore doesn't mean you get to dismiss her concern for you."

Bella looked at Edward, grateful for his support. After years of solo parenting, it was a lovely experience to have someone back her up. She hadn't had that since her parents died. She smiled at him in appreciation.

"I didn't mean anything by it," Dan persisted, more than a little taken aback and looking between his mother and father.

"I know you didn't, love," Bella responded kindly, "but it can still come across as insolent and more than a little rude."

"OK…" Dan answered, "I get it." He sounded totally chastised, much like he did when he was a teenager and his grandfather used to give him an earful when he'd been disrespectful. Dan was feeling a little befuddled. It had been years since his mother had really chastised him about his behavior. She usually preferred to talk with him privately about issues as they arose. He wasn't used to being called out publically, and especially not by Edward.

"Will you give us a call when you get there?" Bella asked, trying to bridge the awkwardness.

"Yeah…sure," he replied, smiling. He knew his mother loved him and that she only acted out of concern, but it was a big weekend for Dan in so many ways, and he was antsy to get it underway. "Give me a call yourself when you're leaving L.A., huh, and I'll let the others know."

"Will do," Bella smiled in answer, their momentary squabble brushed aside.

With a final wave, Dan walked to the car, and Bella and Edward watched as their son backed out of the drive and headed off down the road. As Bella waved goodbye, Edward brought his arm back around her shoulders and squeezed her affectionately as they watched their son leave. Bella relished the intimate contact, and she leaned back against him. It was a very homey scene, and she enjoyed the supposed domesticity of it.

Turning her face to look at Edward's after Dan had disappeared from view, she felt her heart begin to beat rapidly when Edward's eyes met hers. His eyes were glassy but she didn't think his unshed tears were tears of sadness; he looked too happy for that.

"Are you alright?" she asked him softly.

Edward cleared his throat before replying, not trusting his voice to sound unbroken. "Yeah. I'm fine," he answered, giving her a smile that made her heart skip a beat. "Come on inside and let me get you some breakfast."

"Have we got time for breakfast? We can get something on the way if we need to get on the road."

"No. We're fine," he said, ushering her into the house and closing the door behind them. "If we leave a little after nine, the traffic into the city shouldn't be as bad as peak hour. I mean, it's always bad, but it won't be as bad if we wait 'til then."

"You're the boss," she said cheerily as she led him through the house.

"So, Ms. Swan. What would you like for breakfast?" Edward asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Cereal's fine."

"Just cereal? I could cook you something if you'd like."

"I think I'll be eating more than enough over the course of the next few days," she laughed. "Cereal will do me this morning, thanks anyway. What you have on the counter is good," she continued as Bella noticed the cereal box and bowls that Dan had left on the table.

"Coffee?"

"Mmm. Please."

Bella proceeded to fix her breakfast and momentarily looked up to see Edward smiling at her from over by the coffee maker. She looked at him, confusion evident on her face. "What are you smiling at?"

"You."

Bella scoffed under her breath. "Why?"

"Nevermind," Edward said, shaking his head before returning his attention to preparing their coffees.

Bella frowned. "Come on. Spill Mr. Cullen."

Edward crossed the small space that separated them and handed Bella her coffee.

"No. You're going to think I'm nuts."

"No, I won't" she responded.

Again, Edward just shook his head. How could he tell her that the sight of her in her pajamas in his kitchen pouring her breakfast cereal was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen?

Bella felt knots begin to form in the bottom of her stomach. _He's acting all kinds of weird since Dan left. I wonder if he's uncomfortable about last night?_ she worried. _Is that what's behind this? _She frowned and turned her attention to her cereal; the high from her early morning activities dissipating quickly. _He regrets last night's kiss, _she surmised._ Bella, how could you be so dumb?_

"Come and sit down at the breakfast bar," Edward suggested. "You don't need to stand here. That's just something Dan does 'cause he's always in a rush."

"Tell me about it," Bella answered, trying to ignore the tightening knots in her stomach that made her want to tip her uneaten cereal down the sink.

Bella moved around the counter and sat on a stool at the breakfast bar. Edward sat next to her. "You're not eating?" she asked him.

"No. I ate with Dan while you were still sleeping."

"Oh," Bella said, blushing and realizing that she probably hadn't been asleep at all when they'd been eating breakfast. _Stupid, Bella_, she chastised herself. _Getting yourself all worked up over Edward when he's clearly uncomfortable about last night. _

Had Bella been thinking clearly, she would have noted that there were already plenty of signs that Edward was indeed not regretting their actions from the night before, but she was panicking. _Too good to be true_, she told herself. _Fall in love with your son's father…who could be so stupid?_

"Yoo-hoo…Bella?" Edward called, trying to gain her attention.

"Hmm?" she answered, snapping out of her self-flagellation.

"Where were you?"

"I was just distracted for a minute. Sorry."

"What's on your mind, Beautiful?" he asked her, full of concern.

Bella shook her head. _How do I possibly tell him what's on my mind?_

"Tell me," Edward persisted.

"You wouldn't tell me what was on your mind a few minutes ago," she countered.

Edward looked down at his coffee cup. The last thing he wanted was the awkwardness that was settling between them. _Grow a pair, man. _"If I tell you what I was thinking about, will you tell me yours?"

Bella didn't speak. Inwardly, she was still panicking. She drew her lips into a tight line, simply raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders in a maybe-maybe-not kind of way. It was the best she could do. She'd gotten herself so worked up that if she opened her mouth at this point, she might cry.

Edward took that as a yes, so he steadied himself with a deep breath and let his thoughts out in one go. "I was thinking how wonderful it was to see you in my kitchen in your pajamas and looking so at home."

Bella frowned at him "Really?" she asked, more than a little shocked.

Edward nodded. Since he'd now opened the gate, he took the chance to tell her something else. "It's great to have you here. Saying goodbye to Dan this morning at the front door, waving him off down the street with you by my side…it just felt so…normal…so natural…like it was something we do every day. I…" Edward stopped and took another breath. "And then watching you in my kitchen getting your breakfast while I made the coffee…it just felt…right."

"_That's_ what you were thinking?" Bella asked in amazement.

Edward nodded his head. "Hmm."

Bella took a steadying breath of her own. _Oh, my God_, she thought. Her inner voice was cheering in a loud, high-pitched kind of way. Her heart was racing, and now she was panicking for a completely different reason.

"Your turn," Edward said, drawing her attention back to him.

"Oh! Um…I was…thinking about last night."

Edward stared at her intently. "What about last night?" he asked, leading her.

"Um…I was thinking about…when you kissed me goodnight," she said, blushing and unable to maintain eye contact.

"What about when I kissed you goodnight?"

Bella took a breath. She put her spoon back in the bowl. Her fingers were trembling, and she took a breath to try and calm her nerves. _Say it girl_, her inner voice demanded. Another breath. "I was wondering if you regretted our kiss," she said softly, her voice so low that it was almost too quiet to hear.

There was a second's pause. It felt like an eternity to Bella.

"No."

There. That did it. Bella's breath actually caught in her throat. Her mind was doing a happy dance, and her inner voice started squealing at a completely different level in her head. Bella tried to shut it down because it was really annoying, but she couldn't. She looked up at Edward. "You don't?"

Edward didn't answer out loud, but rather, he stared at her intently and shook his head from side to side. He was trying to gauge her reaction.

"And you really like the thought of me being here in your home?" she questioned quietly.

"Yes," he answered, his voice deep and undeniably sexy. Her girlie bits did flip-flops.

Bella allowed a smile to play at the corner of her mouth, and ever so slowly, she reached up with one trembling hand and let her fingers brush through his hair just above his ear. She watched her fingertips disappear in it. Edward stared intently at her as Bella removed her fingers only to replace them moments later and begin stroking his scalp again. He closed his eyes, delighting in her touch. He was ecstatic, and his body was responding to her even though he had taken care of that particular problem once before finally falling asleep and again this morning as he showered.

With his eyes closed, he didn't see Bella move toward him, but he sensed her nearness. At the last second, he opened his eyes. Bella lips were only inches away from his. She paused but then completed her journey, her mouth finally connecting with his. The touch of her lips was tentative but warm. And this time, it was Edward's lips that sought hers. It was he who deepened their kiss. Bella's fingers stilled in Edward's hair, and he brought his hand up to cup the side of her head as he held her in place, his lips slowly but deliberately moving in time with hers.

That was until a phone call interrupted them.

Shocked by the unexpected sound, Bella pulled back abruptly, and Edward swore in his mind. He was very unhappy with the interruption.

He looked for the offending phone on the counter and picked it up to see Alice's caller ID. He answered the call gruffly. He could do that to his sister.

"Hello."

"Edward. Hi! It's me."

"What do you want?" he asked abruptly. He was all too conscious of Bella pulling away from him and returning to her seat.

"Good morning to you, too!" came Alice's indignant reply.

Resigned that their moment was slipping through his fingers, Edward focused on Alice's call. "Sorry. Good morning. How are you?" he said, turning away slightly.

"I'm OK, but you sound a little grumpy. Something wrong?"

"No."

_Hmm_, Alice thought on the other end of the phone line. "How's Bella?"

"She's fine. We're just here having breakfast."

"Oh." _Oh!_ she thought. "Was I interrupting something?"

"Something like that," Edward said, aware that Bella wouldn't be able to hear Alice's end of the phone conversation since she had started to collect her bowl and coffee mug and move around the other side of the kitchen to the sink.

"Oh, Edward. I'm sorry," Alice said, drawing out her words.

"Don't worry about it," Edward said, however, the tone of his voice suggested otherwise.

"You didn't have to answer the call, you know," she said.

"Yes, I did 'cause you interrupted our conversation," he told her while looking across to Bella who swiftly made eye contact with him before focusing her attention on stacking the dishwasher. Edward sighed heavily in frustration.

"I'm sorry," his sister pleaded.

"What do you need, Alice?" he asked her, still too annoyed at her poor timing to forgive her quite so readily.

Edward listened to his sister for a moment or two as she explained the reason for her call. Bella watched him closely as he nodded his head while he listened.

"So, you've sent it through now?" Bella heard him ask. "Right. I'll go look for it and print it out. This will make us a bit later."

Again, Bella watched Edward frown as he listened to his sister. "But Alice, that's half an hour from now!" he exclaimed, looking at his watch. "We're not ready to leave. Bella hasn't even showered, yet," he said in reply to whatever it was that Alice told him.

Bella tried to get his attention from where she stood. She signaled that she'd head off to the shower, but Edward shook his head firmly at her.

"Alice, you'll just have to call them back and tell them that we won't be there before nine at the earliest," Edward persisted.

Bella stood in the kitchen uncertain how to proceed. It was obvious that they had extra things to do this morning and that some things needed to be done sooner rather than later.

"Well, that's their fault for not getting things up to you yesterday as they'd promised," he continued gruffly into the phone. "And we need to stop and get some more platters, too. The ones Dan was bringing were broken this morning." Edward listened some more. "The handle on the bag they were in broke." More listening. "Right. Good, then that will save us some time."

Bella indicated again that she was going to go shower, and Edward, again, signaled for her to wait. This time, Bella shook her head and turned to leave the kitchen and headed towards her room. Frustrated, Edward turned his attention back to the phone call. Alice and Edward spoke for a couple more minutes before finishing their call. Edward was more than annoyed at his big sister even though she had no idea what she was interrupting by her call. His excitement by Bella's initiation of a kiss and her response to him when he kissed her more deeply was now soured by the lost opportunity. He left the kitchen and walked down the hall toward his study. This meant he had to pass by Bella's door. It was open, but she was nowhere to be found. The sound of running water from the bathroom told him that Bella was showering.

He stopped outside the closed door and rested his head against it. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine the scene on the other side. His semi-erection began making itself felt again as he created images in his mind of a naked Bella in the shower, water cascading over her hair and down her breasts. His fingers itched to turn the doorknob, but he restrained himself. It was far too early for that. Bella had only just initiated their first real kiss. There was no way he could just walk into her shower unannounced, no matter how much he wanted to.

Edward cursed his sister's name under his breath once again and then pushed away from the door and made his way towards his study to print off the amended list that they now had to work from. _Fucking couriers_, he swore_. Doesn't anyone work to timetables anymore?_ he thought as he crossed to the computer and opened the email Alice had sent through.

Bella joined Edward half an hour later in the kitchen. He was wearing his glasses and was sitting at the breakfast bar reading Alice's list. Bella had never seen Edward in his glasses. They were rimless and suited him. He looked very debonair.

"Whatcha reading?" she asked.

Edward looked up over the rim of his glasses and smiled at Bella. He was still quietly simmering over his sister's earlier interruption and reading her blasted list again wasn't improving his mood, but having Bella close by helped turn things around a little.

"Alice's list," he answered her, holding it out for her to read. Bella came and stood by him taking the list from his hand and perusing it quickly. None if it really meant anything to her. "We've got a few extra things we need to get. Something about things not being ready in time for delivery, and she's worried that unless we pick them up this morning, they won't get them in time and blah, blah, blah…" he said, sounding as irritable as he felt.

"That's kind of what I gathered from the phone call, and that's why I went and showered. It sounded like we have to get a move on."

"We do," he said, moving his hand to gently brush his fingertips against her lower back. "I'm sorry about that," he said, apologizing for more than just the extra stops they had to make.

"Don't worry about it. I've got my bag packed and ready to put in the car. Will we have enough room with the extra things we have t pick up, or do you want me to try and downsize a little?" Bella asked. She was trying hard to concentrate on the task at hand and on what Edward's fingers were doing on her lower back. It was a difficult battle.

"Nah. We'll be fine," Edward said.

Bella looked at him appraisingly. "You look good in your glasses," she said. "I've never seen you wear them before."

"Not at Christmas?" Edward questioned.

"I don't think so," Bella answered, frowning as she concentrated on her memories. "At least, not that I can remember."

A smile played on Edward's face, and Bella found it even more difficult to concentrate now. "You think I look good in my glasses?" Edward asked her, deliberately trying to make her blush. He wanted to return to their kiss from before, but he sensed somehow that the moment had passed for now, but that didn't stop him from trying to recreate it.

"Yes," Bella replied, smiling at him and his cheeky ways. "Yes, I think you look good in your glasses." She loved to see the playful twinkle in his eyes as he stared at her.

"That's good to know. I should wear them more often."

"Do you need them for much?"

"Only reading and computer work. The joy of getting old," he answered, rolling his eyes.

"You're not old, Mr. Cullen," she answered back, trying hard to concentrate. He was still doing that thing with his fingers on her lower back. "You're just nicely matured."

"Makes me sound like cheese," he laughed.

"Or a fine wine," Bella teased him back. "I happen to like both."

"Do you, now?" Edward asked, knowing they were talking about a lot more than just cheese and wine.

"Absolutely," she answered, smiling while staring at him keenly.

"That's good to know."

They smiled at each other.

_Kiss her dammit, _he ordered himself.

_Let her make the first move again_, his alter-ego instructed. _She did it once. She'll do it again._

_What if she doesn't? _the first voice answered back.

_She will. Play it cool. You know she's into you. _

"So, do we need to get going then?" Bella asked, bringing Edward out of his internal ramblings.

"Yeah, I suppose we should," he said, removing his hand from her back and taking the piece paper from her.

"I'll get my bag," she offered as she turned away from him.

"No, I'll get it," he said, reaching for her hand to stop her. "Can you just make sure that I've closed the windows in the sunroom? That's the only place I haven't done yet."

"Sure," she replied, and with a brief squeeze to her wrist, they passed each other and set about to do their jobs.

Bella made her way through the kitchen to the sunlit area that she guessed was the sunroom. Looking out through the windows and seeing the ocean view for the first time, she was amazed once again by the house Edward lived in. _Wow, that's some view_, she thought. _Fancy waking up to that every day._

Bella checked the latches on the windows before joining Edward back in the kitchen.

"Ready?"

"Whenever you are," she answered him. "Do you have the list?"

"Yep," he replied, hitting his top pocket of his shirt.

"OK. Let's go."

Edward stepped back to allow Bella to pass by him. As she moved across in front of him, suddenly feeling bold, he reached for her arm again and stopped her in her tracks. She turned to look at him and mirrored the smile on his face.

"What?" she asked.

"A traveler?" he asked quickly.

"Huh?"

"One for the road?" he smirked.

"One what?" she asked in return.

"One of these." And with that, Edward swooped down unexpectedly and kissed her. Once again, it was a close-lipped kiss, but forceful. When he pulled back, he took delight in seeing that it left Bella more than a little flustered. "It's going to be a pretty busy day on all accounts. That'll probably give me enough gas in the tank to see me through," he said with a wink.

Bella guffawed and then laughed. She felt all kinds of giddy and lightheaded and school-girlish. He seemed to bring out that side of her with little or no effort at times.

"Come on," he said, delighting in her flustered response. "Let's go before staying here and picking up where we left off a little while ago becomes too enticing."

Bella's smile and laugh became bigger and brighter. She may have even giggled.

"Enticing, huh?" she teased, poking him in his side.

"Oh, Ms. Swan, you have no idea!" he replied as he gently pushed her ahead of him.

This time it was Bella who gave an imaginary fist pump and quite possibly a little swagger as she led Edward to his front door. She was grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat and was so happy and excited that she felt like skipping her way down the hall. Until that moment, she'd never had any idea that being considered desirable could be such a thrill.

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AN: I'm leaving for two weeks holidays with my husband and the kids at the end of the week. I won't have internet access (I believe) where we are staying. I will do plenty of writing...so...I hope you forgive my lack of posting during this time but I promise to have a couple of chapters ready to send to my betas when I get back...and no, this is not the trip to Italy I'm having in October...there will be another break around that time...and no, my life really ISN'T this exciting usually...it's just the way things have worked out at the moment. Believe me, it's more hectic than even I can handle!

If I can manage to get a couple of chapters ahead, hopefully my betas will be able to post for me when I am overseas so you guys won't have to go too long without an update.

Thanks for reading. Care to leave me a review? I'm sure Bella would love to hear what you think of her...um..activities!

Until next time

Leisa


	44. Chapter 44

**A more detailed AN note can be found at the end.**

**Thanks for your patience.**

**Lalina, Sandy and Grendel...you have all held my hand and pushed me hard when I've needed it. Thanks will never be enough.**

**SM owns...you know the drill.**

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* * *

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**Chapter 44 – Live, Love, Potato, Potahto**

Edward and Bella spent the morning driving around L.A. systematically crossing off items from Alice's list as they went. Sometimes, much to Bella's consternation, Edward would double park while she ran into a shop or bakery to collect what was on the list. Twice, when by chance he'd secured a parking spot near one of their destinations, Edward and Bella had walked hand-in-hand, each enjoying the other's company. It had been nearly two months since they'd been able to spend time together like that, and now the experience held an entirely different significance than it had previously. While Edward had been fairly certain of his feelings toward Bella in January, Bella's epiphany earlier that morning had colored the rest of her day. Each touch and each gesture shared between the two of them took on a whole new meaning.

Throughout the morning, and buoyed by their stolen kisses at his home, Edward hadn't hesitated to touch her. He'd held her hand; he'd put his arm around her shoulders; he'd tucked her hair behind her ear. Secretly, Bella had treasured each moment. As the day had progressed, she'd also lost many of her own inhibitions. She'd reached for his hand as they had driven through the traffic. She'd fussed over the collar of his shirt, and smiled and snuggled into his side when he'd wrapped his arm around her as they'd waited on the sidewalk to cross the road.

It was close to midday by the time Edward and Bella had completed their list and were ready to drive north toward Santa Barbara. With over an hour's drive ahead of them, they wasted no time getting on the road, deciding to grab a bite to eat from one of the roadside cafés just outside L.A.

Since their morning had been focused primarily on getting the items on Alice's list, their conversations hadn't broached on anything too personal. That changed once they were in the car after lunch.

"I've had a really great morning," Bella said, reaching for Edward's upper arm as he drove.

He glanced at her and smiled as he negotiated the traffic. "Me, too."

"It was nice to be able to get some time alone, just the two of us," she added quietly, not taking her eyes from his profile. She liked being able to study his features as he drove. Since Edward was more or less forced to keep his eyes on the road ahead, Bella was able to take her time studying his strong jawline, the ridge of his nose, and the way Adam's apple bobbed up and down in his throat.

Edward glanced several times in her direction, and each time, their brief eye contact made Bella's belly jolt as if sparked by some electrical current. He eventually removed his hand from the wheel and reached for hers. Bringing it to his lips, he kissed the back of it. "I've missed my time alone with you. That was one of the hardest things about coming back home after Christmas. I'd become used to spending my days with you. You have no idea how much I missed it."

Bella squeezed his hand in reply. "I missed you, too," she admitted. "I was surprised by how much." Bella gave his hand another squeeze before she released it. They then drove on in comfortable silence for a minute or two.

"I knew I was falling for you before I left Manchester," Edward said, breaking the silence and looking over in her direction.

_Falling for me…falling for me…does that mean…?_ her mind screamed at her. Her private musings so consumed her that she didn't realize she hadn't responded to his semi-declaration.

"I suspected it was going to be hard coming home and not seeing you," he continued. "I just never appreciated how tough it was going to be."

Bella's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. Her mind was going a million miles an hour while she remained audibly mute, still failing to acknowledge any of his words.

"Hey? You alright?" he asked, looking over to her and reaching for her hand. He silently worried that he might have said too much, too soon.

"Yes. I'm good," she smiled, placing her free hand on top of his, sandwiching it between her own. She realized she was yet to give him some idea of how much she'd missed him, too. "You know, I waited up every night hoping you'd call."

Edward smiled widely when he heard that. "You did, huh?" he teased.

Bella nodded her head quickly. "Yeah."

"Why?" he asked, deciding to play devil's advocate.

"Because it made me happy to know that you'd been thinking of me and…I love hearing the sound of your voice."

There it was. The word. _The_ word.

Bella literally bit her tongue. Edward's inner man, in the meantime, was running the length of an imaginary football field for a Super Bowl winning touch down. If he was a soccer player, he'd be running around with his shirt pulled over his head.

"You love the sound of my voice, huh?" he teased again, his exterior calmness belying the excitement he felt building in his chest.

"Yes, amongst other things." _Good God, woman. Cheesy much?_

"What other things?" he asked playfully. He hoped he was managing to conceal just how much he was hanging on every word she'd offer in reply. His heart at this point was almost matching the rhythm of his car engine.

Bella took her time formulating a reply. Her fingers started to play with the dusting of hair on the back of his hand, and as a result, Edward found it incredibly difficult to continue concentrating on the road ahead. The whole situation was made even more challenging when he realized that his pants began to feel quite uncomfortable, and he was in no position to surreptitiously manage the situation.

Bella sighed. If she noticed Edward's predicament, she didn't draw attention to it. "I loved the way you'd listen to me when I rambled on about anything and everything. And the way you always seemed to sense when I was feeling a bit down or when you'd tell me stories about the things you used to get up to when you were younger. I…" Bella paused there. Her mouth was on autopilot, and she tried to rein it in, wondering how wise it was to go any further.

"You what, Bella?" Edward prompted softly.

"I feel like you don't hold anything back from me. That you'd tell me anything I wanted to know about you with no reservations at all."

"I would."

Bella simply nodded her head, her face pensive.

Edward chanced another glance in her direction. "What is it?" he asked, squeezing her hand.

She looked at him and decided that honesty was the best way to repay his trust in her. "This whole communication thing. I'm not all that good at it."

"Yes, you are," he told her quickly, even if a small part of him agreed with her assessment.

"No, I'm not. This," she said, removing one of her hands and gesturing between the two of them. "I know we've been getting better at talking to each other, not holding back and everything, but it's still unfamiliar territory for me. I've never been one to share my feelings with others, and well, after Christmas, when I settled back into my routine at home and work, I felt myself slipping into old habits. It was your phone calls that kept me talking. It was as if you knew I'd clam up again and you weren't about to let that happen. I usually spend so much time alone with myself in my head that it's a regular way of life for me."

"Is this something you've talked about with your counselor?" he asked her, genuinely interested.

"In a roundabout way, kind of," she said vaguely.

He shook his head slightly while keeping his eyes on the road. "I don't understand," he responded thoughtfully.

"I told her that I don't find it easy to share my feelings and that I've never really been in a situation—in a relationship," she clarified, "where I've had to. Even when my parents were alive, there was a complete side of me that I never shared with them, never spoke to them about."

"You mean about me being Dan's father?"

"Well, yes, but not just that. I never really told anyone about my wants or my needs. I never really had anyone in my life who was just mine and with whom I could share things, I suppose. My counselor did say that she believes I may have compensated by making sure that the needs of the people around me were met before my own – Dan, my parents, the kids I teach. I never really spend much time focused on me and what I want. Even college was a means to an end for me, so it seems."

"What do you mean that college was a means to an end?"

"I went to college so that I could provide Dan with a secure future. I'd always intended to go to college, but by the time I got there, I was intent on getting the best grades I could so I could have a chance for a better standard of living in the long term for Dan. College wasn't about me. It wasn't about having fun or being frivolous. It was about me needing to succeed so that Dan could have what he deserved."

As Edward drove, he reflected on what Bella had said. Until now, he'd believed that he'd understood what she'd gone through in Dan's early years. Listening to her, however, he realized that he'd only scratched the surface of what she'd experienced, and to him, it seemed like her counseling sessions were helping Bella understand the extent to which she'd denied her own needs over the years.

"So, it seems like counseling is opening up a whole new set of things that you haven't considered before," he said, finally understanding why she'd been so adamant that she wouldn't consider moving to the West Coast at this point.

"It seems so," she answered.

Edward knew from experience that it wasn't easy for Bella to open up to people. It had taken her quite a bit of effort to finally share much of her story with him over Christmas, and he'd seen firsthand just how much of a toll it had taken on her. He was grateful that Bella had found a counselor with whom she could relax and relate to, and even though it was obviously a positive experience for her, he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of jealousy toward this nameless, faceless person. _Edward _wanted to be the one she could trust and rely on wholeheartedly. _He_ wanted to be the person she would turn to when she needed to talk things through. _He _wanted to share Bella's confidence, to know her innermost fears and desires. When you loved someone, it was part of the deal. Edward knew that, and yet he sensed that he had to continue to prove to her that he could be that person for her. He decided then and there that he needed to prove it over and over again until she believed it, until she realized that she no longer had to face the world alone.

It was with love and commitment, therefore, that he asked her, "What is it that _you_ want, Bella?"

Bella teared up. _Why is it that he can always make me cry?_ she wondered. She turned her head to look out the window and wiped at her cheeks as she felt the heat from her tears on them. She shook her head but couldn't get the words out. She wanted to tell him, but she didn't trust herself enough to bare her soul to anyone just yet.

"Tell me. It's me. You can tell me anything," he reminded her. _Come on, Bella. Let me know what you want most? Anything…it's yours._

Again Bella shook her head. She rested her elbow on the door of the car and pulled nervously at her lips with her fingertips, her gaze fixed on the never-ending stream of color that passed by.

Edward sighed, unable to contain his disappointment_. She doesn't trust you enough yet, _his inner voice chided. He looked in her direction. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Bella croaked, glancing at him quickly.

Edward took his free hand from hers and brushed her hair behind her ear, one eye on her and one on the road. "Whatever it is, Beautiful, you can tell me. When you're ready, I'll be here. I promise."

This time Bella silently nodded her head before reaching for his hand and bringing it to the side of her face. She held it there and nuzzled into it before Edward responded and used his thumb to stroke her cheek lovingly.

"Are you tired?" he asked her, concerned. It seemed to him that her mind was far away.

"A bit," she admitted.

"Why don't you put the chair back and sleep for a while. I'll wake you before we get there. You could catch forty minutes or so."

Bella eyed him directly. Edward knew that look.

"Don't worry about me; I'm alright to drive. I didn't have as big a day as you did yesterday. Relax. Get some sleep."

"You sure?" she asked him, relaxing and grateful for the reprieve from having to say anything more for the moment.

"Absolutely."

Bella nodded and settled back in her chair.

"Sleep, Beautiful," he whispered to her, and with a final stroke of his thumb against her cheek, he let go of her hand and turned some music on in the car. He shuffled through the CD stacker and found something classical.

"Thanks," she said, smiling with her eyes closed.

"Anytime."

Fifty minutes later, Edward gently roused Bella.

"Bella. Beautiful. Wake up," he coaxed while brushing his fingertips along her hairline.

Bella stirred and began to shuffle in her seat.

"Mmm. Where are we? Are we here?" she asked, looking around while trying to get her bearings.

"No. We're about ten minutes away," Edward answered soothingly as he continued to stroke the hairline along her temple.

"Why did you stop?" she asked him as she stretched and sat up a little straighter.

"'Cause I thought you might need a few minutes to get yourself ready."

"Mmm," Bella repeated as she rubbed her hands across the back of her neck. It felt sore from the awkward way she'd been sleeping.

"Are you a little stiff?"

"A bit."

"I'm not surprised. Your neck was bent at a pretty weird angle. I tried to get you to move at one point, but you were too out of it."

"I didn't snore, did I?" Bella asked, laughing and stretching in her seat.

"Not loudly, no," Edward replied.

Bella looked at him in shock. "You're kidding me, right?"

Edward winked in reply, saying nothing aloud.

"You're a tease, Edward Cullen," she said, pushing him on the shoulder before they both laughed at their shared camaraderie.

"Are you ready to get back on the road?" Edward finally asked her.

"Yes, go ahead. I'll fix my lipstick as we go."

Edward went to restart the car but paused mid-action. He'd spent the best part of the last hour watching Bella as she'd slept. He'd never before had to chance to observe her unawares for such a length of time and in such close quarters. Her hair, a tapered bob that had been recently cut for her trip west, framed her face delicately and was tucked neatly behind her ears. Her eyelashes, which were long and thick and curved at the ends, were enhanced by a small amount of mascara. Her lips still bore the slightest tinge of lipstick, which she'd applied earlier that morning.

Edward turned to face her once more, and Bella, having become aware of his renewed scrutiny, looked at him. They regarded each other silently for a moment or two before Edward moved to close the distance between them. Bella's heart had time to thump rapidly for half a dozen beats or so before his lips descended upon hers. She closed her eyes as the initial gentleness of his touch registered, and she returned his kiss. Within moments, however, the kiss changed.

No longer happy to share chaste kisses, Edward reached for the back of Bella's head and cupped it. He increased the pressure of his lips and began to move them, willing Bella to reciprocate, and reciprocate she did. Bella opened her mouth to his, and their kiss deepened. She reached for his face to hold him in place, their kiss continuing with sounds of pleasure, relief and desire escaping from the two of them.

When they finally pulled apart, Edward rested his forehead against Bella's and sighed contentedly. "I've wanted to do that for months," he admitted to her quietly, "ever since New Year's."

"I might have combusted at New Year's had you kissed me like that."

"And now?"

"I'm glad I'm sitting down," she giggled quietly. "I'm too young for menopause, right?" she said, pulling back slightly and pretending to fan herself, "'cause I'm feeling rather hot all of a sudden."

Edward laughed quietly. "You're not that old, Ms. Swan, and believe me, flustered or not, you're stunning."

Bella was happy and grateful and shy and self-conscious all at once. "You're a wonderful man, Mr. Cullen," she sighed.

"So, you don't mind me kissing you then?" he asked.

"Oh, no. Never."

"Can I do it again?"

Bella smiled and without answering him, closed the distance between the two of them and initiated a kiss of her own. This time, Edward reached for her and pulled her toward him. It was no easy feat to close the distance between them with the bucket seats and the handbrake in the way. Still, despite the awkwardness of their position, their upper bodies met, and Edward felt Bella's breasts through their clothes as they pressed against his chest. The contact made him groan, and he became increasing aware of his body's instinctive reaction to this woman who had so completely turned his life upside down within the span of a few short months.

Pulling apart this time was bittersweet. Both Edward and Bella were aware that they were expected at Alice's shortly, and both knew that these increasingly intimate kisses couldn't lead to anything else for the moment. When they separated this time, they shared several brief kisses, neither wanting to give up their private time together.

"I've daydreamed about kissing you," Bella admitted sheepishly.

"You have?"

Too embarrassed by her admission, Bella simply nodded her head, her eyes closed so she couldn't see his reaction.

"I have, too…about kissing you, that is." Truth was, and not unlike Bella, Edward had daydreamed about much more than just kissing, but he wasn't prepared to admit that just yet.

Bella opened her eyes and giggled. "Why do you make me feel like a school girl on a first date?" she asked him. "For heaven's sake, I'm giggling," she said, rolling her eyes as her giggles morphed into outright laughter.

"I love to hear you giggle and laugh," Edward admitted, joining her. "But I've got to admit there are some other sounds, like the ones you made just before, that I prefer to hear."

"Oh, Edward," she said, feeling more than a little awkward.

"What? You sounded as sexy as hell."

Bella was now blushing scarlet. "It's your fault, you know."

"Oh really?" he said, sitting back and looking at her. "How do you work that out?"

Bella closed her lips and pulled them tight as she tried to work out a response that didn't make her sound completely insane. In the end, she went with the truth. "Edward, as cheesy as this sounds, I've never felt like this before. What you make me feel…it's all new to me."

"Oh, Bella," he said, reaching for her and kissing her on the forehead. "You're not the only one." He knew that he had loved Tanya, but the love he felt for Bella was different. Smoldering, yet increasingly fiery and passionate, it was a mature love born from sharing a painful history and a newfound respect and admiration for each other.

He closed his eyes as his lips rested on her. _Tell her, man. Now's your perfect chance._

Bella pulled back. Feeling completely stunned by events from the last few minutes, part of her was doing a high school cheer with batons and pom-poms while another part was wondering how she was going to be able to focus on meeting some of Edward's extended family for the first time. She voiced as much to Edward.

"As much as I'd like to continue this," she said, her innate shyness taking over, "we've got to go meet your family. They'll be waiting for us," she reminded him.

Edward drew his lips into a tight line. He nodded his head. "My timing, as usual, seems to suck."

"Why do you say that? I think you're timing's bang on."

Laughing at Bella's enthusiastic response, he replied. "Because, if I had the guts I would have done this ages ago."

"When?"

"I told you…New Year's."

Bella blushed. "I don't know if I could have handled this at New Year's."

"You couldn't have handled this?" Edward repeated, completely confused.

"I don't know if I'd have been ready to handle all these emotions. I had so much going on at the time; it might have all been too much," she said honestly. "Please don't be mad," she begged. "I was attracted to you then, too. I just really didn't appreciate exactly how much until later."

"I wanted to kiss you," he admitted, "But I talked myself out of it every time. I guessed that you weren't ready. Maybe I was right."

"From the beginning, you've been so patient with me. You've dealt with me and all my emotional baggage with a great deal of grace under the circumstances. You've been so tolerant."

"You're not the only one with emotional baggage, Bella. And I haven't been tolerant. I've been…" _falling in love with you…say it man…falling in love with you…it's not that hard._

"You've been what?" Bella asked, her heart in her throat.

Edward couldn't do it. He wanted it to be special, roses and chocolates special. In a car on the side of the highway when they were due at his family's home wasn't when he wanted this moment to be.

So instead, looking intently into her eyes, he answered with a watered down version of the truth. "I've been learning to live again." _Live, love, potato, potahto,_ his inner man shrugged.

Bella sighed wistfully. She'd wished so much that he'd said something else. She needed so much to hear it, and it was what she wanted more than anything at this point.

Reluctantly, however, she understood his reticence. Just over an hour ago, he'd asked her what _she'd_ wanted from life, and she hadn't been able to voice it. How could she expect him to say what she wanted to hear when she couldn't tell him what it was that she wanted most?

They were at an impasse.

"I'm happy for you. Really, I am," Bella admitted.

"You're the reason; you and Dan," Edward explained needlessly. "You've given my life meaning again."

"And you're more than I ever expected." _Or ever hoped for._

Edward's heart soared. "Can we talk about this some more later?" he asked, kissing her forehead again. "There's more I want to say," he continued, "but not now, not like this when we've got the clock on us."

Bella felt instantly relieved. "Of course, we can talk more later."

"I've got much I want to tell you, Bella."

"Ditto," she said with a cheeky smile.

Edward returned her smile, relieved beyond words. There was no way he wanted to bare his soul now, but the promise of later was exactly what he needed.

"Later then? Tonight? After we've finished at Alice's?"

"Sounds perfect."

Both Bella and Edward felt yet another shift in their relationship at that point. While they knew there was much still to discuss, they were both on the same page, and this made them incredibly happy. Edward gave Bella another intimate kiss. This time, he brushed his tongue against her lips, and she willingly accepted him. They delicately and intimately explored each other's mouths, and silently sealed their promise of further communication. There was no going back from this point for either of them.

After Edward pulled out onto the road, the two of them rode in companionable silence for several minutes. Bella's head was still spinning from the events of the day thus far, and it was still only early afternoon. She sat back in her seat and looked out the window. She'd never been to this part of California, and the new scenery gave her a much needed distraction. Her mind continued to race over everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, and she wondered what the next forty-eight hours might bring. It was this train of though that re-ignited her nerves at meeting Edward's extended family, and her knee started to bounce rapidly in response.

Edward noticed.

"You alright?" he asked her as he turned off the highway and headed the last few minutes to their destination.

"Yes," Bella replied, turning to look at him.

"What's with the knee bounce then?" he questioned.

Bella smirked. "You don't miss much, do you?" she said, avoiding answering him.

"When it comes to you? No."

Bella rubbed her hands from her thighs to her knees and back again.

Edward noticed that, too.

"What is it?"

Bella sighed. "I'm just a bit nervous about meeting the rest of your family, especially since what's come to light since I met your sisters."

"Don't be nervous. They're all really looking forward to seeing you."

"I know. It's just…I don't know…unusual, that's all."

Edward didn't understand, and his expression told her as much.

"Well, come on. It's not like everyday a family meets the girl who got knocked up by their son or brother, and who produced a son who is currently dating their daughter, granddaughter or niece."

"True."

"And I've single-handedly managed to affect all of their lives in one way or another over the last few months."

"Again, true."

"Geez! You're really helping me here!"

"Bella," Edward said, laughing offhandedly. "Stop worrying. So what if your introduction to the family has been a little unorthodox. They've heard so much about you from me, as well as Cassie and Sammy, and not to mention, Dan…"

"Oh, great! You're not making things any better!"

"Bella. It will be fine. They'll love you, just like I do," Edward said, the words slipping out without thinking as he pulled into Alice's street.

Bella's eyes widened. She tried to cover her reaction, but it was quite difficult since her inner self had thrown away the pom-poms and was now doing back flips on the sidelines.

Edward, aware of the slip, looked at Bella and her hastily covered reaction and thought, _What the hell._ "It's true, Bella," he whispered. "They'll love you, too."

"Edward…" she began but stopped as he turned the car into a drive in front of a large, two-story home.

Edward pulled on the brake and shut off the engine before turning in his seat to look at her. "Surprise!" he said, smiling and once again staring intently into her eyes. "I guess now is later."

"Edward…"

Edward's eyes flickered catching something in the background. "Too late," he said, gesturing over her shoulder. "Here they come. They must have been waiting for us."

Bella turned to look out the window and saw Cassie leading the way down the front steps of the home. Turning quickly back toward Edward and knowing she was running out of time, she reached for his hand and held it tightly in her own.

"It's alright, Beautiful. We'll talk some more tonight, I promise." With that, he quickly lifted Bella's hand to his lips and kissed it before letting it go. "Remember, they'll love you, too. Come on," he said with a smile and a wink. "Come meet the family."

* * *

**AN:** Well, where do I begin? The last month has seen me have several confidence crises with my writing (for various reasons); two weeks without internet access; then a fried motherboard that took a couple of days to resolve; family issues; massive planning and coordinating for my overseas trip (so that my young family and my husband will survive being at home without me); and today, to top it all off, my house flooded after several days of heavy rain - every room downstairs was covered with water and sludge. Chaos, in my life at the moment, is an understatement.

Due to recent stresses, I haven't replied to reviews. Most of you know that this very unusual for me. I really try to respond to reviews to acknowledge my readers. I need to let you know that for the next four weeks, I will not be in a position to respond as I will be traveling with my sister, my mother and a couple of friends through Italy on the trip of a lifetime (well, my lifetime anyway!)

So...this chapter was originally 15K words...I've broken it up into two chapters for a couple of reasons...you may agree or disagree with my decision but it's a done deal now. The following two chapters (each around 10K words) are in the hands of my extremely capable and talented betas and will be posted during my absence while I am visiting the sights of Italy (and meeting up with a special reader of mine in Florence!) The timetabling of the posts will be up to my betas. I have inundated them with over 25K words in the last week as well as several rewrites of those words...I am lucky they are still speaking to me and willing to post on my behalf. Please don't badger them for updates. They are as commited as I am for TTTB to continue its journey but won't let a chapter leave their hands without it being as perfect as it can be (while working with my limited skills as a first time writer!)

Rest assured, I will eagerly devour each and every review upon my return...so please take the time to leave me a message at some point.

On another note...recently, I have had several requests from people to follow me on twitter. Yes, I tweet, but my tweets are private and can only be viewed if I accept you as a follower. This is to protect myself and my family. Recently, I have become aware, through the experiences of others, that twitter, while being a wonderful place, can also be a very painful place. If you read my fic, and we have conversed via reviews or PMs before, I am happy to have you follow me...but please, if you have a different twitter name, let me know what it is and who you are via a review or a PM - otherwise, I won't accept your request. My privacy and my online friendships are something I treasure and I have become very aware recently of people who have had their trust in internet friendships come back to "bite them on the bum." I don't wish to be one of them.

So, I hope you enjoy the next few chapters in my absence.

Until next time we speak,

with best wishes

Leisa


	45. Chapter 45

*clears throat* Hi, Lalina here! Leisa is away traipsing in Italy but was much too kind to make you wait for a chapter when she returned. I have been dispatched to do the job! Chapter 46 will be posted next weekend. Till then, Enjoy!

Much thanks to our lovely Beta BWG for getting this chapter ready for posting :))

* * *

**Chapter 45 – I Want You.**

_They'll love you, too_.

These were the words Bella was still processing when, mere seconds later, her passenger's door was pulled open.

"Bella! Hi!" Cassie greeted her. "Hi, Uncle Edward," she continued as she bent down to look across Bella toward Edward, who was still sitting in the driver's seat.

"Hi, Cassie," Edward replied, who was quickly followed by Bella with her own greeting. She was desperately trying to drag her mind back to the present and away from its current non-stop loop: _They'll love you, too…They'll love you, too…They'll love you, too. _

"Did you get everything?" Cassie asked eagerly as she stood back to give Bella room.

"I think so," Bella answered, glancing quickly at Edward before she got out of the car still feeling more than a little distracted by what had been said moments before.

"I'm glad you're here," Cassie said warmly. She leaned forward and gave Bella a brief hug and kiss on the cheek. "Did you have a good trip?"

"Yes," Bella responded. "The traffic was bad but it wasn't horrendous, not by L.A. standards apparently," she added, remembering something that Edward had told her earlier in their day.

"Hi, Mom," Dan called, as he waved and walked toward her from the side of the house.

"Hi, love," she called in response and waved back.

"Bella! Welcome!"

Bella turned to meet the voice she'd just heard. Alice was moving quickly across to where she stood.

"Hello, Alice," Bella smiled, greeting her host warmly. "It's nice to be here."

"Oh, for heaven's sake…don't be so formal," Alice chastised, stepping forward to extract a hug. She kissed Bella briefly on the cheek before pulling away to look at her brother. "Hello, you. How did you do with my list?"

"Everything and everyone present and accounted for, ma'am," Edward replied, winking in her general direction. "Hi, Mom, Dad. Hi, Rose," he continued, looking beyond Alice and acknowledging the other members of his family who'd come to stand behind his sister.

Bella smiled, focusing beyond Alice and to the two older people who stood side-by-side next to Rosalie.

"Bella, let me introduce you to a few people who have been dying to meet you. This is our mother, Esmé, and our father, Carlisle," Alice said, introducing each one in turn.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Bella," Esme enthused, giving her a welcome kiss on the cheek. "I've been so looking forward to it."

"You don't know the half of it," Carlisle said, following his wife's lead and not giving Bella much time to answer. He, too, kissed Bella in greeting. "This one's been a little impatient waiting for you to arrive," he said as he playfully nudged his wife.

"Seriously? Mom?" Edward groaned, embarrassed. Until that moment, Bella had been unaware that Edward had come to join her. He placed an encouraging hand on her lower back privately wanting to maintain their physical connection as surreptitiously as possible.

"Oh, hush, you," Esme admonished her son. "It's alright for you. You got to spend the whole morning with her."

"And you know, Rosalie, of course," Alice continued on, ignoring her mother.

"Hi, Rosalie," Bella smiled politely at the remaining sister.

"It's good to see you again, Bella."

"And this wonderful specimen is my husband, Jasper," Alice finished, pulling a blonde haired, middle-aged man to her side. Amid all the confusion, Bella hadn't noticed Jasper appear among the group.

"Hello, Bella," Jasper said politely, his Texas accent still evident despite spending the last twenty-five years or so in California. "Welcome to our home," he continued offering her a gallant tip of the head and a lopsided but genuine smile.

"Thank you, Jasper. It's wonderful to finally meet you all," Bella replied, looking around to all the family members. "Edward's told me so much about you," she continued.

"Hello!"

The entire family turned to face the direction of the booming voice.

"And that," Alice said, shading her eyes from the sun, "is Emmett."

"Hi, Bella! I'm Emmett!"

"Hello!" Bella called back trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh.

"Emmett?" Edward called. "What are you doing on the roof?"

"Alice's list, buddy. She's been holding me to ransom. Clean the gutters or there's no food…so here I am!"

"He's been up there all morning," Esme added.

"Why do you having him cleaning the gutters?" Edward asked his sister.

"Well, we have to hang the fairy lights, and it's no use hanging them if it rains and the gutters overflow and the water short circuits everything," Alice explained.

Edward raised his eyebrows at his sister and then looked across to Jasper.

"Don't ask me…she's your sister. You've known her longer than I have," Jasper said in his own defense, raising both hands in surrender. "Besides, I've learned never to argue with her when she has a list."

"Don't worry!" Emmett called from his position on the roof. "I'm nearly finished. Ten minutes or so and I'll be down to greet you properly," he said, waving madly.

Bella waved back, shyly. Edward's previous descriptions of Emmett seemed accurate, and he was an imposing sight even though she was seeing him from a distance.

"I thought you said just before these guys arrived that you had at least an hour to go," Alice yelled back at him.

"That was before Edward got here, short stuff. Next thing on my list is cleaning out the garage, and there was no way I was going into that chaos without backup. Now Eddie boy's here, I'll be down in ten."

Edward laughed.

Alice swore under her breath – well, not really under her breath.

"Alice," Esme chastised.

"Oh for Pete's sake, Mom."

"Come on, everyone. Let's get this car unpacked and Bella into the house. She hasn't even made it off the drive yet," Carlisle said, redirecting the conversation.

Upon his suggestion, everyone began to move to various points around Edward's car, each collecting something and moving off toward the house – all except Carlisle that is – who had chivalrously taken Bella by the arm and escorted her up the drive.

"The crafty, old devil," Jasper said, noting his father-in-law's actions. "He's got the girl and not the goods. Well I'll be damned."

"With age comes wisdom, and wisdom has its benefits, son" he called back over his shoulder. " Just you remember it."

Bella glanced back to see Edward watching her and his father walk toward the house. He gave her an affectionate smile and the briefest of winks before he went back to retrieving things from the trunk. Bella felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Edward's words in the car just before the family descended upon them were, once again, replaying on a loop inside her head. Even now, minutes later, she felt a little flustered and her heart fluttered in response.

As they neared the front steps, Bella realized there was one person missing. "Where's Sammy?"

"She had a few things going on today that she couldn't get out of. She'll be up here later this afternoon," Carlisle replied, stepping aside to allow Bella to pass him and move into the house. "When you're young and new to a job, you don't have the same flexibility as the rest of us."

"Lucky Dan's working for the family then, huh?" Bella said a little wryly.

"In his case, it has worked to his advantage, for sure," Carlisle answered, intuitively picking up on her concerns, "but in his defense, Bella, he has worked many late nights, even in the few short weeks he's been here. He's been putting in long hours, and we're all quite impressed by him."

"That's good to know."

"He's a lovely young man, Bella. You should feel very proud of him. He conducts himself well, and he's got Eleazar on his side, too, and that's no easy feat. Eleazar's an experienced man who doesn't suffer fools, so it's a great testament to Dan's abilities."

"Thank you, Carlisle. That's lovely to hear," she said as she turned to face him in the foyer.

"You've done a wonderful job raising him, if I may say so, and you don't think me too bold," he continued.

"Again, Carlisle. Thank you," Bella said, tipping her head slightly in acknowledgement.

"Look out, Dad. Coming through," Rosalie said without preamble as she walked into the house carrying one of the many boxes that Edward and Bella had loaded into the car throughout their morning.

"Oh. Right, Sweetheart. Sorry," Carlisle replied, stepping out of Rose's way and gently pulling Bella with him.

"Where do you want this stuff, Alice?" Rosalie called over her shoulder.

"Take it through to the dining room, and we'll sort it all out there," Alice replied as she followed Rose into the house.

"It definitely seems like all-systems-go," Bella said as she watched the procession of people carrying things.

"You have no idea, Sweetheart," Jasper drawled as he walked past her.

Esme and Cassie followed next with Edward and Dan bringing up the rear.

"Is that it?" Carlisle asked Edward.

"Not quite. There are a few more things to go."

"I'll need to get my bag," Bella said in Edward's direction.

"I left it in the car. I didn't think you'd need it until tonight," he replied, stopping in front of her.

"I'd like to get changed into some other clothes," she said, indicating her current selection. She'd dressed nicely for the trip, but from the look of everyone else in house clothes, she was way overdressed.

"Oh, right. I hadn't thought of that."

"No, problem," she said kindly.

"I can get it, Mom," Dan offered.

"No, it's alright, love. I only need a couple of things. I'll just go and grab them."

"Give me a chance to put this down and I'll come out with you. I'll get some clothes for myself, too. If the garage is next on the list, I think I'd better change."

Bella watched Edward walk off through the house with Dan hot on his heels following the path the others had taken.

"I'll go help out in the dining room," Carlisle said, placing a gentle hand on Bella's back. "It is truly wonderful to meet you, Bella. I look forward to spending time with you this weekend once all the work is out of the way."

"Me, too," Bella said in response.

"I'll see you in a bit," Carlisle said in parting before he turned and almost bumped into Edward. "Oh, sorry, son," he apologized, slapping him on the shoulder.

"No worries, Dad. We'll be back in a minute," Edward explained as he went to usher Bella back outside.

"Take your time. No doubt we've got plenty to keep us occupied in here for the next few minutes or so," Carlisle offered good-naturedly.

Edward and Bella stepped out into the bright sunshine of the early afternoon. He grabbed her hand and held it as they headed across to the trunk of the car.

"Now that wasn't too scary, was it?" he asked.

Bella smiled silently, feeling a little embarrassed that she'd been so worried about meeting Edward's family. However, this quickly passed as holding Edward's hand had given her other things to think about. Tingles that started in her palm made their way up her arm and down her spine before finally resting deep in her belly. She was amazed by their intensity. She'd held his hand numerous times before, but she'd never experienced anything like this. Squeezing his hand tightly, she tried to let her simple action convey what she didn't trust her voice to say.

As they reached the opened trunk, Edward stopped and looked down at their joined hands, and then up into Bella's face. Her eyes held so much emotion – relief, affection, happiness – and he felt a deep sense of pride and love as he looked at her.

"I told you they'd love you, too," he said quietly.

"Oh, Edward," she replied, more than a little overpowered by all the emotions she was experiencing.

"Come here," he said, pulling her and drawing her into his arms. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head while he gently rocked her side to side, thrilled that her body melted without hesitation into his. Bella smiled into his chest before raising her chin. Stretching up on her toes, she lifted her face to him, and following her lead, Edward bent to kiss her.

The activity at the trunk of Edward's car was being obscured from view for those inside who were furtively trying to watch what was happening outside. Alice, Rosalie and Esme were at the dining room windows. Between them and the car in question was a rather large hedge.

"I told Jasper we should have trimmed that hedge," Alice said, standing on her tip toes trying to get a better view.

"You shouldn't be spying on them anyway," Esme admonished from her position.

"Says you who just happens to be standing behind me," Alice observed.

"Oh, Mom. You're just as curious as the rest of us," Rosalie said while moving from left to right to try and improve her view.

"I'm just relieved to see him happy again after all this time," Esme said, justifying her actions.

The girls didn't hear Carlisle enter the room.

"What are you ladies staring at, or need I ask?" Carlisle said, startling them.

All three turned around quickly and smiled sheepishly.

"Leave them alone," he warned them all.

"Do you think Dan's aware of what's going on between them?" Rosalie said.

"I have no idea, but it's none of our business," he answered seriously.

"Where are Dan and Cassie for that matter?" Alice asked, chancing a glance back outside the window.

"Dan and Jasper headed out the back to go get Emmett. Cassie just passed me and was on her way upstairs. By the way, you'd better feed Emmett before you make him and the others tackle that garage, Sweetheart," Carlisle answered.

"Right," Alice said, sounding terribly irritated that she needed to move away from the window.

"And you keep your nose out of your brother's business," he said as she walked past him. "Let him live his life as he chooses. He's had a lot to deal with lately, so leave him be."

Esme and Rosalie also left the window and moved back to the table where all the boxes and packages from the car had been placed.

"I was just telling the girls the same thing," Esme said.

"Of course you were, Darling," Carlisle answered, smiling sweetly at his wife before rolling his eyes.

"Well you can't blame a mother for getting a bit excited," Esme uttered under her breath. "It's been so long since I've seen him smile so much."

"It's been a long time since we've seen him so much, period," Rose answered.

"That too," Esme agreed, smiling at her daughter and glad they were on the same wavelength.

"Alice?" Carlisle called loudly from the dining room so his voice reached the kitchen. "Do you want all of us in here or have you got other plans?" he asked as he looked over all the parcels and boxes.

"Why don't you boys start making space in the garage and we'll join you once we've got all this sorted," Alice called back from the kitchen. "The tent people are coming at three and the cool room's being delivered sometime after four and I'd like to get the lights up this afternoon so we get the chance to give them a trial run tonight."

"Right," Carlisle called back.

With that, Carlisle kissed his wife on the forehead before making his way out of the room to find the rest of the family and head toward the garage. Esme and Rose, meanwhile, started unpacking various items onto the dining room table to see exactly what it was that Alice had Edward and Bella collect from L.A. that morning.

Outside, Edward and Bella had finished their brief kiss at the car and were in deep but hushed conversation.

"I just think we should be a little careful around the family at the moment, that's all," Bella said.

"Why?"

"Because you and I haven't really even had a chance to talk about things, and I don't want Dan finding out second hand. I'd really like to talk to him myself before this becomes public knowledge."

"Why?" Edward asked again. "It's not a big scandal or anything. Or, don't you think he'd approve?" he queried, sounding a little put out.

"No. It's not that," Bella answered, resting a reassuring hand on Edward's forearm. "It's just that I think we deserve to let him be the first to know that we're…" Bella trailed off, not knowing quite how to finish that sentence.

"That we're what?"

"That we're…this…" she said, gesturing between the two of them. "That we're involved."

"Are we? Involved?" he asked, his tone serious yet mocking her choice of word at the same time.

Bella started to get a little frustrated with Edward's seemingly never-ending questions and his almost cavalier attitude toward the "outing" of their fledgling romance. Bella was conscious of the fact that they'd been at the car for several minutes and thought that their prolonged absence would definitely be noticed by those inside.

"I just don't want Dan finding out about us from anyone else…and, besides, we've still got to talk things through, too. Please," she said, "for me…as much as I'd like to stop everything now and work this out, now's not the right time."

"Tonight?" he asked, his eyes full of eager anticipation.

Bella smiled. The expression on Edward's face was just too much for her. "Yes, Mr. Impatient. Tonight."

"Right," he said, kissing her soundly on the lips once more before taking a step back and placing his hand on his heart. "So, I hereby promise and declare not to kiss you or otherwise embarrass you or give away our little secret until after you and I have had a chance to be alone together to talk things through," he said with a cheeky grin on his face. Edward was happy. The last eighteen hours or so had been the happiest he'd felt in a long time, and the mixture of joy and excitement was causing him to act like a horny school boy.

Bella laughed. "What am I going to do with you?" she teased, putting her hand on his chest.

"My dear, Ms. Swan, you are not the first person to ask that very question," he teased back, grinning broadly while encasing her hand in his own.

"Oh, your poor mother," she shot back, rolling her eyes.

"Or that statement," he quipped, raising his eyebrows.

Bella laughed again. Edward loved the sound.

"Come on. Let's go inside before Alice sends out a search party."

"That, Beautiful, is not too far out of the realm of possibility," he said, letting go of her and standing back to close the trunk of the Volvo.

"Well, let's move!" she said, turning toward the house.

Edward quickly fell into step beside her. Each of them held a change of clothes in one arm, and without thinking, Edward put his free arm around Bella's shoulders – his newfound sense of joyous anticipation for the evening ahead overtaking him.

"Edward," Bella said under her breath, reminding him of his declaration just moments before.

"What? Oh, yeah…right," he said, reluctantly letting go of her shoulders.

Together, they made their way up the front steps and into the house just in time to see Carlisle heading out toward the backyard.

"Dad!" Edward called, gaining his father's attention.

"Oh, there you are," he said, smiling broadly at his son. "We men folk have been given the job of sorting out the garage. Go get yourself changed and meet us out there in a few. If we survive, apparently they're serving pizza for dinner," he laughed. Edward joined him. "Bella, Alice is in the kitchen. I'm sure she's got something lined up for you, so just go in there and make yourself at home. The girls are keen to have the chance to get to know you a bit better," he said. His words were meant to sound encouraging, but to Bella they made her insides tighten nervously.

"I'll take Bella through to the kitchen and meet you out back. Just let me check that the sharks aren't circling first," Edward said, enjoying the banter with his father.

"Ugh," Bella groaned. She thought she'd been silent, but by Edward and Carlisle's reaction, she was even more embarrassed to find that maybe she hadn't been.

"You'll be fine," Carlisle said, acknowledging her discomfort. "They really are a harmless bunch. We had their teeth removed years ago," he joked, picking up on Edward's description of their women folk. "Nothing much gets past them, mind you," he winked, "but they'll always have your best interests at heart." And with a smile, Carlisle turned and left.

Edward took the opportunity to kiss Bella's temple. "They're not that bad, really," he assured her.

"That's easy for you to say," she whispered back.

"Come on. I'll take you through. They'll love you, too, remember," he whispered.

Bella halted on the spot and looked up into the face of the man she loved.

"You're infectious, what can I say?" he said, shrugging his shoulders and winking at her.

Bella's heart skipped yet another beat. There it was again, Edward's semi-declaration and there it happened again, her girlie bits reacting to it. It was a thrill she was fast becoming used to. "You people sure do a lot of winking," she laughed, feeling happy and giddy at the same time. And so, it was only moments later, when Bella walked into the kitchen smiling and slightly ahead of Edward to see Alice putting the final touches on a platter of food.

"Hello again, you two. I was about to send out a search party."

"Sorry," Edward apologized. "Dad waylaid us."

"That'd be right," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Here. Make yourself useful and take this out to the boys."

"Will do. I want to get changed, but I may as well do that out the back, seeing as I'll be working in the garage," he said to his sister. "Bella wants to get changed, too. Can you show her where?"

"Sure thing."

"Good. Then, I'll be off. See you soon if we survive clearing out the garage, that is." Edward moved automatically to kiss Bella goodbye but corrected himself just in time. He settled for a knowing look in her direction before collecting Alice's freshly prepared platter in one hand and with his clothes in the other, made his way out the back door.

Ten minutes later, Bella had changed and was working side by side with the Cullen women in the dining room. True to Edward's word, his mother and sisters were friendly and kind, and Bella had begun to feel silly that she'd worried about it being otherwise. It had been her own insecurities that had led her to believe that she'd be less than welcomed in the Cullen household. Even now as a fully grown, forty-year-old woman, there were still times in Bella's life when she felt like that isolated, pregnant nineteen-year-old who knew the town gossips were gossiping behind her back. This, had been one of those times. She wasn't naïve enough to think that the Cullen's hadn't spoken in great detail about her or Dan prior to their arrival on the West Coast, but to their credit, they appeared to neither have judged nor castigated her. For this, she was extremely grateful and as she relaxed, she enjoyed her afternoon immensely, especially when it became apparent that no one was going to question her about her relationship with Edward. In fact, it was a topic Bella felt that everyone was steadfastly avoiding.

Throughout the afternoon, Bella observed the special bond the Cullen girls had with their mother. They laughed often and spoke warmly to each other, and it was obvious to her that there was a great deal of respect among the women. Still, that didn't stop the girls from making fun of their mother's 'old fashioned' ways, and as 'modern' as Esme tried to be, it was apparent at times that there was a generational difference. Still, after years of feeling so alone with no living relatives of her own, it was nice to pretend to be a member of a family again. Bella joined in wholeheartedly to their conversations, giving as good as she got when the occasion arose. She was having a great time.

Bella was surprised at how fast time seemed to fly by. Once they'd finished in the dining room, the women took some beers out to the boys who were all holed up in the garage trying to create space amongst the chaos there. Bella, feeling more than a little guilty, was relieved to know that even a family as seemingly perfect as the Cullen's had their weak spots – and for Alice and Jasper, it seemed to be their garage. It had been over a year since both Alice and Jasper had been able to fit their cars inside it. Boxes and a variety of other items had gradually filled the available space. The boys' job was to create enough room inside it that it could be used as a temporary kitchen for the party.

Despite the fire at their own premises, the boat club's caterers had agreed to cater the function, but after checking out Alice's kitchen, they informed her that they'd need additional space in order to prepare and heat the food. The facilities in her kitchen alone weren't sufficient for the job. Since the only practical place to house this makeshift kitchen was the garage because it had its own power and hot and cold water supply, it would need a good clean out, and that job was given to the men of the family.

Edward had always enjoyed spending time with his father and brothers-in-law. This time round it had extra special meaning for him – for his own son would be there, too. By the time Edward had arrived with the tray of food for Emmett and then changed quickly into his own version of work clothes – board shorts and a t-shirt - Jasper and Dan were still nowhere to be seen. As perplexing as this was, Edward wasn't given much time to consider their whereabouts.

"So, Edward," Emmett said between mouthfuls of sandwich, "how long have you and Bella been…" Emmett didn't finish off his sentence with words. Another bite of a long-overdue sandwich meant that Emmett used a certain hip action to say what words didn't.

A little taken aback, and with Bella's words at the car still ringing in his ears, Edward frowned at his brother-in-law. He was trying to formulate an appropriate response when his father came to his defense.

"Emmett, not you, too."

"What do you mean, not you, too?" Edward asked his father, shock evident on his face.

Ignoring Edward for the moment, Carlisle continued, directing his comment to Emmett. "You're as bad as the girls."

"What?" Emmett said, with a mouthful of food, raising his hands to protest his innocence.

"It's none of our business."

"Well, he was the one making out with her by the car."

Edward felt like he was a spectator at a tennis match. His head was moving back and forth between his father and his brother-in-law. This soon ended.

"You were kissing her by the car?" Carlisle asked his son. "Geez. I'm glad the girls didn't see that."

Edward suddenly felt like a fish out of water. He hoped he didn't look like he was gasping for air, but he sure felt like it.

"It wasn't a really big one or anything like that," Emmett clarified, "but a kiss is a kiss, and it was way more than the kind of kiss you'd give great-aunt Joan, that's for sure," he finished with a wink.

_Bella was right, his family did wink a lot_. Edward finally spoke up. "The girls didn't see it?" he asked, seeking confirmation from his father.

"I don't think so," Carlisle answered. "I walked in on them trying to spy on the two of you from the dining room windows, but Alice was lamenting that she couldn't see anything because of the hedge."

Edward breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's the problem? So you kissed her. Big deal!" Emmett said.

"Emmett, it's more complicated than that."

"Of course it's more complicated than that – _you're_ involved!"

Carlisle laughed, despite trying to maintain his statesman-like composure. "Come on, now, Em. Give him a break."

"Why? He likes her. He kisses her. Nothing complicated about that," Emmett said in his usual blunt manner.

"Dan doesn't know," Edward blurted out, "yet."

Emmett eye's opened wide. "And now we get to the bottom of it. Dan doesn't know that his mommy and daddy are having a nice little round of slap and tickle on the side."

"Emmett," Edward said gruffly.

"He's a big boy. You're grown ups. I still don't see the issue."

"It's new, alright?" Edward said, losing his patience with Emmett's constant pushing and prodding into his personal life. "Dan doesn't know 'cause Bella and I haven't even talked things through yet.

"Do you love her?" he asked frankly. Emmett wasn't into emotional bullshit. To him, a spade was a spade, not a shovel by another name. He'd never understood the emotional rollercoaster so many people chose to ride in their relationships. Emmett and Rose had a vocal and sometimes verbally volatile relationship but they never hid their feelings from each other – ever.

Edward hesitated. He hadn't even said those exact words to Bella yet. _Shouldn't she be the first to know? _

Carlisle watched on with interest, but he already knew the answer. His son's hesitation gave it away.

"Yes," Edward finally admitted. In his mind, the only chance he had of honoring Bella's desire to keep a lid on things for the time being would be to admit the truth in front of Emmett and his father and hope that Emmett could keep his mouth shut. Deep down, he knew Emmett was way more intuitive than the cavalier façade he so often displayed and he was relying on that now, more than he ever had before.

Edward's straight-forward declaration stopped Emmett in his tracks. He let go a long slow whistle.

"Yeah," Edward said, looking at his brother-in-law.

"Wow. And Dan has no idea?"

"I don't think so. I think his head's been too full of moving and Cassie and the party to notice much of anything else. And besides, Bella and I…well…like I said…it's only new."

"And Bella feels the same way?" Emmett asked quietly.

"I think so. Like I said, we haven't really sat down and talked about it yet."

"What's there to talk about?" Emmett asked genuinely intrigued.

"Emmett," Carlisle interjected.

"There's a lot to sort through, Em. Bella lives there. I'm here. Dan's involved. It's just complicated, that's all."

Emmett walked up to Edward and placed a brotherly hand on his shoulder. "Don't make it be more complicated than what it needs to be. You love her. Take it from there. You've been alone too long to let obstacles get in the way," he told him kindly. Edward breathed a sigh of relief. He was grateful that Emmett was no longer being flippant.

However, Emmett's lack of flippancy only lasted moments. "Now, I promise I won't say a thing to let junior in on daddy's little secret, but you're too much of a stud to be out on the open market. I, for one, am glad that you've closed the door on that little fire sale."

This time, Carlisle openly laughed out loud and Edward joined in.

"Trust me, if I had to answer one more question from an eligible lady about town as to why you were still single and whether or not you were gay, I was about to take out an add in the paper like what's his face did years ago."

"I'd forgotten about that. What was his name? That actor?" Carlisle asked.

"Richard Gere," Emmett answered, remembering that finer detail.

"That's him!" Carlisle said.

"People think I'm gay?" Edward asked.

"Not any more," Emmett said, slapping Edward on the back, "well, not once you and Bella come out of the closet, that is," he laughed.

"Emmett," Edward groaned. "You promise you'll keep a lid on this?"

"Until you say the word, Bro. No worries."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, help me start cleaning out this shit," he said, gesturing around him. "If we start throwing things away before Jasper lands in here and gets all emo over stuff, we stand a good chance of them never knowing what was here in the first place."

"Sounds like a plan."

"What does?" Jasper said, entering the garage with Dan hot on his heels.

"And there goes the perfect opportunity!" Emmett said, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm holding you to blame," he said, pointing his finger at Edward. "It's all your fault."

"Deal," Edward said, raising his eyebrows and finishing off with a wink. "Happy to oblige."

"What did I miss?" Jasper asked.

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about," Emmett said.

"Oh! Just something your beef and brawn can handle then?" Jasper shot back. "No need for my brains."

"Brains? You're nothing more than a pretty boy with a faux-suave accent."

"Faux-suave? I'll give you faux-suave," Jasper joked before flipping his brother-in-law the bird.

"Oh. One little finger and you've got me shaking in my boots!" Emmett said.

Jasper made to charge Emmett, who conveniently stepped behind a group of boxes.

"Come here you big bit of brawn," Jasper threatened.

"I would if all these boxes weren't in my way. What have you got in all this shit? Every birthday card Cassie has ever gotten?" Emmett joked as he pretended to dodge in and around the boxes that were separating him from Jasper.

And that is how the afternoon progressed - jokes, laughter and a fair bit of good-natured teasing between all the men. By the time the women joined them, the boys had managed to create quite a bit of space in the garage. Much to Emmett's delight, he'd also found an old box of colored party lights amidst all the trash and treasures they unearthed. He was thrilled when he turned them on and found that, despite their age, they still worked. Cassie, however, was less than impressed that Emmett intended to hang them across the front of the house.

"But we've got fairy lights," Cassie argued.

"Honey, these make more of a statement than any stupid twinkle lights."

"The only statement they make is about your age, Uncle Em."

The two of them bickered back and forth for the rest of the afternoon until a truce was struck. Jasper suggested the lights be hung in such a way that they led to the area that would house the additional portable toilets being used for the evening. This appeased Cassie because they would on display in a more or less out of the way location. It also appealed to Emmett's sense of humor.

"Hell, they'll look just light a set of landing lights. I can see it now, great-aunt Joan's larger than life ass waddling off down the runway." The mental image made everyone, including Cassie laugh and the family wondered whether or not they would ever look at another set of colored lights the same way, ever again, let alone great-aunt Joan's ass.

After a hectic and chaotic afternoon, they all sat down to pizza, wine and beer a little after seven. Sammy had joined them just before five, and after greeting everyone, helped to hang the last of the fairy lights in and around trees and plants the garden beds. Jasper, not trusting Emmett to do the job, had hung even more lights across the guttering on the front of the house. In the meantime, Emmett had busied himself working on what had become colloquially known as 'the landing strip' although Alice had put a stop to him putting up hastily prepared signs with pictures of photoshopped mangoes on them that read _Man-goes_ and _No Man-goes_ to identify which toilets belonged to which sex.

"I still can't believe out of all the guys you dated, Rose, you kept him," Alice said as she walked back into the house with the signs in question.

Rosalie, Bella and Esme had been in the kitchen counting glassware when Alice had come in. "He's a man of many and varied talents, and technically speaking, he's far superior in his attention to more _intimate_ details," Rosalie said, batting her eyelashes, "and besides, not all thoroughbreds are fast finishers, you know. Some are definitely bred for distance and not speed," she finished, her tongue definitely in her cheek.

"Eww! TMI TMI TMI," Alice yelled as she covered her ears. "Somebody'd better fetch me the brain bleach!"

"Rose!"

"Oh, Mom. Get over it. And besides, as if you can still expect us to believe that the special _reading chair_ in your bedroom is actually used for reading! Pl-ease! We're no longer that naïve. Sting's not just known for his music, you know."

Esme appeared momentarily flustered but then burst out laughing when Alice snorted so loudly at her sister's boldness that she snuffled some wine from her glass and started coughing and spluttering all over the place.

Bella couldn't remember an afternoon where she'd enjoyed herself more. By the time they'd all sat down to pizza, she truly felt at home and privileged to have been welcomed so easily into the obviously tight-knit group. Throughout the afternoon, she'd had the chance to watch, not only Edward and the way he relaxed around his family, but also Dan. She noted the way Edward's family included him in their lives and she was grateful for their warm acceptance of him. Bella also spent time watching Dan and Cassie together. They were a well-matched pair. They were openly affectionate with each other without being all lovey-dovey. Each was obviously confident in their relationship and they weren't at all afraid to show that confidence in front of their family. It reinforced for Bella that Dan's life was now firmly planted on the West Coast and that his move to California was indeed a good thing for his future on all fronts.

When Edward and Bella had crossed paths during the day, there had been several small signs of affection shared between the two; a lingering hand here, a gentle brush there. They thought they were being subtle and that their intimate actions were going by mostly unobserved. They weren't, on either count. In fact, the only ones who seemed completely oblivious to it all were Dan and Cassie. They, it seemed, only had eyes for each other. Even Emmett wondered if it would take a brick or a large chunk of wood across the back of Dan's head before he came to realize what was going on between his parents. Still, everyone played dumb and pretended not to notice anything, even if Carlisle's repeated whispered reminders to a grinning Esme to "rein it in a little," fell on deaf ears.

After several large pizzas, even more beers and a few bottles of wine, Edward was the first to announce that he and Bella were going to call it quits for the night and leave for their hotel. While it was customary for all the family to stay overnight at Alice and Jasper's for family events, this time, nearly everyone had made alternative arrangements. After the last minute reshuffle caused by the fire, Edward, Rose and Emmett had decided not to stay with the Whitlock's.

"There'll be enough chaos at your place without having to bed all of us as well," Rose had explained to her sister. "And really, you're welcome to all the late night dance music and loud twenty-somethings at two on Sunday morning. I think I'll more than appreciate my nice, quiet hotel room at that point."

"Mom and Dad are still staying," Alice had retorted.

"Well, good luck to Mom and Dad. We'll make sure we bring plenty of extra hot, strong black coffees round the next morning after my six to eight hours of nice, uninterrupted sleep." And that was how Rose ended the negotiations for sleeping arrangements for the weekend.

In the end, Rose and Emmett decided to travel the forty minute drive home on the Friday night and only book accommodation for Saturday, the night of the party. Edward, on the other hand, booked separate accommodations for both he and Bella at a hotel for both nights. The hotel he booked was only ten minutes from Alice's which remained convenient but still far enough to be away from the fray.

Edward and Bella said their goodbyes to the family with promises to see them all bright and early in the morning. There was still plenty to do before the party. While the tent now stood erected in the backyard and much of the caterer's equipment had arrived, there were still many more deliveries expected, and it would be a case of all hands on deck to ensure everything would be ready in time.

After Edward settled Bella in his car, she sat there feeling exhausted and happy. She'd had a thoroughly enjoyable day from the moment she'd gotten up. She smiled wearily at Edward as he sat in the driver's seat and turned over the engine before backing out the drive, and with a final wave to the family, drove down the road and into the night.

They drove for a minute or two, each enjoying the other's nearness but not really knowing how to start their conversation. Their _later_ had become_ now_, and they were each a little nervous.

"You tired?" he asked her finally while holding her hand gently in his own.

"Yeah," she said, "but it's a good kind of tired, if you know what I mean. I've had a really wonderful day. Really good," she explained.

"I'm glad," he said before pulling her hand to his lips and kissing her palm, "but I've missed you," he said, looking at her briefly before focusing his attention back on the road. Bella felt her breath catch.

"We've seen each other all day," she said quietly.

"That's not what I meant," he said, looking at her intently for a moment.

Bella's belly tingled. She felt it – that physical sensation that began deep inside her and worked it way down to settle in the area between her legs.

"I've missed you, too."

Edward's heart rate increased. He'd tried all day to keep a tight rein in his feelings and to stop himself from demonstrating them openly in front of his family. But now, here in the car, there was no one else around. The thrill of that realization brought him to his senses. He looked quickly into the rear vision before indicating and pulling into a side street off the main road. He stopped the car abruptly, the suddenness of his actions taking Bella a little by surprise.

Without so much as a word, Edward closed the distance between them and kissed her. This wasn't any ordinary kiss. This was a toe-curling, heart-stopping, butterfly-inducing kiss. The kind of kiss that left no girl wondering whether or not a guy was serious.

Bella, excited and overwhelmed, nervous and thrilled, kissed him back, hard. Her hands cupped the side of his face before entangling them in his hair. She pulled him to her, meeting his passion with her own. She was both shocked and a little surprised by her lack of reserve. _Maybe this is what happens after a day filled with sexual tension,_ she thought. _Whatever the hell it is, I like it_.

When they finally pulled apart, breathless and marginally satiated, Edward brought his forehead to rest against hers.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he said honestly.

"Mmm," Bella replied. She wasn't yet able to form coherent thoughts. That skill seemed to have died at about the same time Edward had kissed her.

Edward kissed her again. It was just like the first one.

"God, you taste good," he said, throwing all caution to the wind.

Bella responded by kissing him back. She thought he tasted good, too, but she wasn't about to waste more time telling him when she could show him what she thought_. You go, girl_, her inner voice cheered. _About freakin' time! _

This time, it wasn't Edward who stopped their kiss. It was Bella. Gradually she brought their lips to a slow caress, and finally, she pulled away. She had that just kissed look. Her lips felt slightly swollen and her eyes were heavily lidded like she was drunk from the high of her feelings. "Wow," she managed to say.

"You can say that, again."

"Wow."

Edward laughed quietly. "What's gotten into you, Ms. Swan?"

Bella sighed. "I'm happy, Mr. Cullen. I'm happy and relaxed and have spent a wonderful day with wonderful people who made me feel welcomed and a part of their family."

He took a moment to study her. "You look beautiful," he said, gazing into her eyes. "Your eyes are shining."

"I feel great, and I'm over always being so serious and worried. I just want to seize the moment. No more worrying. No more self doubt." She looked directly into Edward's eyes. "I want us."

"Oh, God, Bella," Edward managed to get out before he kissed her passionately. If Bella thought Edward's first kiss was a good one, it held nothing on this. He kissed her with such intensity that Bella felt herself go limp in his arms. She curled her own arms around his neck and let herself melt into his embrace. Their tongues touched and flirted and teased and explored. It was liberating.

"Bella. I love you," Edward said when he finished their kiss. He was feeling completely at ease in the moment. He'd long wanted things to be perfect when he professed his love for Bella. He'd wanted chocolates and roses and candlelight and romance for this incredible woman, but here, at this moment, in the front seat of his car, on the side of the road and after a long day being surrounded by family and cleaning and moving and lifting, it felt right. It was perfect.

Bella allowed her traitorous tears build up and overflow. This time, she didn't care; she let them flow unchecked. She'd hoped all day that this would be what Edward would tell her. She was overjoyed.

She closed her eyes and then wiped at her tears. She then smiled her largest smile, one that Edward returned, wholeheartedly. "Can you believe it? Here, I am. _Me_. And you know me exactly as I am and you love me anyway," she said, smiling through her tears.

Edward cupped the side of her face and wiped her tears away with his thumb. He was teary himself. This moment in time, albeit in the front seat of his car, would be one they'd each treasure for the rest of their lives. "Of course I love you. You're the center my world now."

Bella spilled fresh tears. She took a deep breath trying to steady her breath before speaking again. "This morning," she started, but faltered as her tears continued to fall. She tried again. "This morning, you asked me what I wanted. This…this is what I always wanted," she hiccupped. "I wanted somebody to love me, and I wanted somebody to love." She smiled through her tears.

They kissed again. This kiss was a culmination of everything that had brought them to this point and a reflection of the depth of their feelings for each other. Bella closed the distance between the two of them, pulling herself to him. She'd suddenly felt that she was too far from Edward and he from her. The problem was there was a handbrake in the way.

"Ow!" she said, breaking off their kiss, suddenly. "Handbrake."

Edward and Bella both looked down and laughed at their predicament.

"My God. I feel like I'm some love sick teenager necking in the front seat of my father's car on a Saturday night," Edward laughed. Looking back into her eyes, he said, "Believe it or not, this is not how I had planned to do things at all."

Bella giggled. "Well, I'm no teenager, and it's a Friday night, so quite frankly, I can't see the similarities."

"Very funny!" Edward retorted, kissing the tip of her nose.

"I try," she said, shrugging.

"I love you," Edward sighed. Saying it out loud at long last left him feeling indestructible.

"I love you, too." Bella said, repeating his words and looking him directly in the eye.

Edward leaned forward and chastely kissed Bella on the lips. "This so isn't how I envisioned telling you," he admitted, "and me being all smelly and dirty was definitely not part of the equation."

"I don't care how you look or smell," she told him honestly, and then feeling completely bold, she dared to say, "Besides, I could help you take care of that back at the hotel, you know." Once the words left her mouth, Bella bit her bottom lip. _What the hell, woman?_ she chided herself. _What did you just say? _

Edward sat back a little and looked at her closely. "Bella…" he started, "what?" Edward hadn't been expecting that. He was a little shocked, but not unhappily so – quite the opposite, in fact.

Bella's heart was racing. Edward's eyes were burning into hers. The intensity she saw was like nothing she had ever seen. It made her insides melt and the sensation was felt right between her legs. She wondered again if she might spontaneously combust in the front seat of his car. _Come on, girl. Don't back out now._

"I said," she started, clearing her throat before she continued, "that maybe we could take care of that back at the hotel."

"And how do you plan we could do that?" he asked her, the fire in his eyes further fueling the flame in her belly.

_Deep breath, girl._ "Maybe we could take a shower, together," she suggested, her voice sounding a lot huskier than she remembered it.

Edward breathed deeply. "Are you sure that is something you want?" he asked.

_Oh God, yes._ Bella closed her eyes and nodded her head. "Yes," she said, opening her eyes and reaching up to cup his face in her two hands. "I'm very sure."

Edward response was to kiss her. It was soft at first, tentative, as if he was testing to see if she would baulk from him; however, seconds later that tentativeness disappeared. That one kiss left Bella feeling completely ablaze from head to toe and everywhere in between.

Finishing with a gentle, closed lipped kiss to her lips, Edward sat back and looked at her. "Let's go," he said.

"OK."

He started the car and did a u-turn before pulling back out onto the road that would take them to their hotel. He reached for her hand and held it, resting it between them. He let his thumb drift back and forth over her palm relishing the relaxed and yet electrically charged moment they were sharing.

A random thought suddenly crossed his mind.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" she answered.

"I don't know how to ask this…but um…" he hesitated again, pulling his lips together and he tried to work out how best to phrase what he needed to say.

"What is it?" Bella asked, completely curious.

_For goodness sake, man. Spit it out. You're both grownups._ "Well, I didn't expect that we would get to this point this weekend," Edward started, wanting to explain. "I really kind of hoped that we would get closer, but I felt it was a little presumptuous to kind of look like I was expecting it. I mean, had we been at home, there'd be no problem, but I didn't bring any with me, and I'd booked us separate hotel rooms."

Bella didn't understand what Edward was trying to say. Had he not kissed her almost senseless just a few minutes before, she might have been a bit more alert, but as it was, her mind was in a spin from his kiss and her own bold suggestion. She looked at him blankly. She was too distracted by her own thoughts about what was to come to be making sense of his ineloquent explanation.

"Oh, God," he said, frustrated by his unexpected nervousness. "Bella," he started again. "I don't have any condoms with me."

Bella's eyes opened wide, finally understanding what he'd been hedging around.

"I don't suppose you have any with you?" he said, wincing as he asked the question. _Yeah, good one, you idiot. You know she's not had that many boyfriends over the years. So, yeah, she's so likely to be packing her own condoms for a weekend trip to meet her son's father and his family for her son's girlfriend's twenty-first. Yeah. They would have been top of her packing list._

"Um, no," Bella answered, and then with intense discomfort said, "I've never really had much of a need for them, and then when I did, um…well…I didn't have them. Um, the guy had –"

"It's alright, Beautiful," he rushed in, wanting to stop her from having to justify herself and her choices. "You don't have to say anymore. I understand," he said, instantly apologetic. He kissed the back of her hand, wanting to reassure her and let her know that everything was all right. _Good one, idiot. Way to go._ "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make you feel self-conscious."

Bella shook her head. "No. No. You're right. It's something we should take care of. It's just that I've never…" she left that sentence trail off unfinished when Edward squeezed her hand. She remained silent for a few seconds before she added. "I suppose with our track record, we really shouldn't take any chances," she laughed lightly under her breath.

Edward laughed, too, grateful that she didn't seem upset with him even if he hadn't forgiven himself quite so quickly. "That would be a story and a half to explain," he said, glancing at her and raising his eyebrows. "Fancy having to tell Dan that we made the same mistake twice."

Bella bristled at the use of the word, mistake.

"Edward," she said, her voice immediately serious. "Dan's the biggest and best surprise of my life. He's not a mistake. He's my prize. One, for many reasons, I felt that I never deserved. But he's my prize, nonetheless."

Edward closed his eyes. _Strike two, you fucking idiot._ "I'm sorry," he said, feeling even more awful than he had a few moments before. "Of course. I'm sorry," he repeated for good measure. "It was just a careless choice of words. I didn't think."

Bella nodded her head. She knew Edward hadn't meant anything by it, but after years of self-loathing and guilt for her feelings surrounding her unexpected pregnancy, it was the one way she had tried to make it up to Dan. She'd never allowed him to feel responsible for the changes his coming into her life had brought.

"It's OK," she said, smiling at him. "I should be the one to apologize. It was an innocent enough comment. I get that. It's me who has an issue with that particular term and that's not your fault."

Edward winced. "God, I've fucked this up, well and truly," he said aloud, but under his breath while turning to look out the window.

"No. You haven't," Bella said, pulling his hand she still held toward her. "Not at all."

"Well, the moment has certainly come and gone," he said wryly.

"What makes you say that?"

"Come on, Bella. First, I make you feel awful about your lack of experience, and then I call our son a mistake."

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" he said gruffly, looking to her but still annoyed at himself.

"Pull over."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Edward, more than a little perplexed, looked at Bella strangely but complied. Once he'd stopped the car, he turned in his seat to look at her. Without hesitation, and feeling rather proud of herself for taking the initiative in this instance, she leaned over to him and kissed him. Despite the awkwardness of their positions, she placed both her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. She kissed him with as much passion as she could muster for there was no way she wanted Edward to think that her earlier decision was now null and void. When she pulled back from him, it thrilled her to see Edward looking more than a little dazed. _That's one for the books_, she thought to herself while her inner alter ego shook her pompoms and did a few high kicks for good measure. "Now shut up and drive," she ordered, sitting back in her seat. "Go find us a place to get some condoms."

Edward sat back in his seat and grinned at her. "Yes, ma'am," he said, his eyes sparkling. "And just so you know? I like this Bella that's shown up this weekend."

Bella smiled at him. It was almost a smirk. "It's the same ole Bella," she answered, lifting her eyebrows, "except that she's finally feeling brave enough to come out of her shell and go after what she wants."

"Oh!" Edward was smiling to himself except it wasn't really a smile, either – it was more like a huge Jim-Carey-like grin. "And what is it you want, Ms. Swan?" he asked as he pulled out onto the road.

"You, Mr. Cullen," she said, staring directly at him. "I want you."


	46. Chapter 46

**Hallo! Lalina here again, this will be my last scheduled post before Leisa returns. Hope you enjoy the chapter! **

**Thank you to BWG for her work and support!**

* * *

Chapter 46 - Condoms, Tampons, Some Mints, Magazine And A Coke

Edward pulled into the parking lot of the gas station that was around the corner from their hotel. Both he and Bella had been fairly silent for the last few minutes. Bella's heart had been racing the whole way and so had her mind.

_It's alright. You'll be fine,_ her alter ego coached. _Just go with your instincts. Stop panicking! _

_How can I stop panicking? I just told the guy I'd shower with him. _

_He'll see you naked in bed anyway, _her alter ego said, rolling her eyes_. Besides, the_ _shower could be fun_.

_God! Where would I look?_

_Where wouldn't you look?_ _For heaven's sakes. It's not like you haven't fantasized about what it'd look like!_

On and on Bella's internal monologue went. She'd been so distracted by her private musings that she didn't notice that Edward had been intently watching the rearview mirror.

After he turned off the engine, he looked at Bella. "Guess what?" he asked, but then continued without waiting for an answer. "Emmett and Rosalie have just pulled in behind us."

"Oh, God!"

"Don't panic."

"But we're here to get condoms!"

Edward smiled reassuringly at her. "That's OK. I'll handle it."

"But they'll know what we're doing!"

"And you think _they're_ not going home to have sex?" Edward asked her, trying to make light of the situation.

"But they're married! They're supposed to have sex!" Bella exclaimed, turning around in her seat to see both Emmett and Rosalie approaching their car. She turned back around abruptly, her heart sounding like a time bomb counting down its final seconds.

Edward frowned, taken aback by Bella's distress. "It'll be all right," he assured her.

"Ugh," Bella replied, feeling completely flustered. Her face showed several emotions in mere seconds – embarrassment, uncertainty, anxiety, concern – and in doing so, Edward finally understood just how distressing this moment was for her.

"Stay in the car," he said before opening his door and standing to greet his sister and her husband.

"Fancy meeting you here!" Emmett said as he slapped the roof of the car. It made Bella jump in her seat.

"Hi, Em, Rose," Edward greeted them. He watched as Rosalie peeled off around the other side of the car to where Bella sat. _Uh-oh!_

"We thought you'd be miles ahead of us," Emmett continued on, oblivious to Edward watching Rosalie as she tapped on Bella's closed window.

"Hi, Bella," Rosalie smiled as Bella tried to lower the window. With the ignition off, however, the window wouldn't scroll down, and Bella had little choice but to open the door and stand up to greet Rose face-to-face.

"Hello, Rose," Bella said as she got out of the car before glancing in Edward's direction.

Edward was talking to Emmett, and Bella overheard only the last line. "Bella wanted to get a soda."

"Rose wants chocolate! What our women want, our women get, hey?" Emmett joked.

Edward ignored the inference and looked across to Bella. "Is it a Coke you want, Bella?"

"Please," she agreed, hoping that Emmett and Rose would just go about their shopping and leave them be.

"I'll get it," Rosalie offered. "I'll grab it as I get my chocolate bar. What do you like? Straight, diet, Zero?"

"Ah…diet, please," Bella said, looking to Edward and silently asking for help.

"No worries," Rose answered as she began to move away from the car.

Thinking quickly, Bella asked Rose to stop. "Wait up. I'll come in anyway. There are a couple of other things I need to get."

"Oh, OK," Rose answered, waiting while Bella retrieved her purse and closed the door. When Bella joined her, Rose turned to look at the two men. "We'll be back in a minute."

Rose moved off, Bella keeping pace with her. She looked back over her shoulder to catch Edward's eye and raised her eyebrows. Edward couldn't tell if it was a plea to wish her luck or a plea for backup, but with Emmett keeping him engaged in conversation, he reasoned that the situation could only get worse if he went into the shop and took Emmett with him. He gave Bella what he hoped would be interpreted as a _good luck, I'm sorry_ kind of expression and watched as she stepped inside the glass doors and disappeared from view.

Once inside the store, Rose made her way to the candy shelves while Bella crossed to the large refrigerators to retrieve her unneeded Diet Coke. On her way back, she zigzagged through the displays looking for the appropriate section. Once she located it, a quick look around showed her that Rose was still pouring over the chocolate selections, so Bella bent down lower and tried to surreptitiously scan the items in front of her.

_Damn. I knew there were lots of different kinds, but who the hell knew there were so many to choose from?_ _Ribbed_, _colored, extra-strong, _Bella read from the boxes as the perused the shelves. _Glow-in-the-dark,_ Bella laughed under her breath. _Now that would be something to see!_ She was so occupied looking at the boxes that she didn't notice Rosalie come to stand next to her.

"Have you found what you're looking for?" she asked Bella.

Bella jumped and stood bolt upright.

"Um…yeah," she stumbled, feeling her face heat up and knowing full well that she was turning a brilliant shade of red. She returned her attention to the shelves and picked up a brightly colored packet of tampons that was on a shelf to the right of the condoms. She held the packet aloft to Rose, not bothering to explain any further.

"Bad timing, huh?" Rose said, looking at Bella shrewdly. "Oh, well. Better luck next time, I s'pose," she added with a wink, "but I find these do the job quite nicely." Without looking directly at Bella, she selected a box of condoms from the shelf and dropped them into Bella's hands before walking away toward the register without a backward glance.

Bella stood transfixed to the spot. She was speechless. She didn't know what to do either. Should she keep up the pretense and buy the tampons as well as the condoms? She was all kinds of flustered until a baby-faced teenager came and stood next to her and checked out the shelves. Bella quickly moved to the counter. When she went to pay, she realized she still had the tampons in her hand. _That'll keep 'em guessing,_ she thought wryly as she handed them over to the attendant without making eye contact. Still feeling completely uncomfortable, her inner self once again chastised her. _You're not some pimply-faced teenager; for goodness sakes, woman. Most people suspect that somebody your age has sex. The guy behind the till won't be giving a hoot about what you're buying. _

She waited somewhat impatiently for the attendant to ring up her purchases. "Would you like a bag?" he asked.

"Oh! Yes, I would like a bag," she answered, "and this magazine and these mints, too, please," she said, tossing a gossip magazine and a couple of packets of mints onto the counter for good measure. _Yeah. That will hide the evidence nicely in those see through plastic bags they use…not!_ her inner self laughed at her. Bella rolled her eyes in response to her own sarcasm. The attendant, more interested in watching the television screen at the back of the store than the customer, didn't even notice.

After paying for her purchases, Bella left the store and walked back to Edward, who was waiting anxiously at the car.

"That's more than just a Diet Coke," Emmett observed.

"I took the chance to pick up a couple of things," Bella answered softly, shooting Rose a brief look. Rosalie didn't react at all – not even a blink. Bella was grateful.

"So, I guess we'll see you both in the morning then, huh?" Edward said, eager to bring their impromptu gathering to an end.

"Sure. We'll see you then," Rosalie answered for both of them, pulling Emmett by the arm and moving them in the direction of their car.

"Looks like we're off. See you, you two!"

"'Night, Em. 'Night, Rose," Edward called after them.

Edward looked across to Bella over the roof of the car. Without a word, Bella opened the door and slid into the passenger's seat. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"You OK?" he asked.

Bella shook her head and couldn't quite believe the situation she'd just found herself in. While Edward looked on, unsure about whether she was upset or not, she burst out laughing. Relieved that she didn't seem to be upset, Edward began to laugh with her.

"What's so funny? What happened?" he asked, starting the engine.

"Let's just get out of here, and I'll tell you," she laughed, wiping at her eyes.

Edward backed out of the parking lot and listened as Bella retold her story.

"So, let me get this right," Edward said, pulling into the drive of the hotel where they were staying. "We've got two packets of mints, a gossip mag, a box of tampons, and the condoms."

"Uh-huh."

"And how much did all that cost?"

"$28.65."

Edward laughed loudly. "And Rose caught you looking at the condoms?"

"Hence, the tampons."

Edward shook his head, still laughing. "I'm so sorry," he apologized sincerely, trying to rein in his laughter.

"Don't be. I think it's kind of funny, too. Until I meet Rosalie again in the morning, that is. I don't think I'll be able to look her in the eye."

"Just ask her for some Tylenol to cover your tracks," Edward joked.

"Good thinking," Bella laughed. "And maybe Alice has a hot water bottle or a heat pack I could use."

Edward guffawed. He looked at her once more and apologized again. "I am sorry, Beautiful. I didn't mean for you to go into the store, and I really didn't understand just how uncomfortable you were until I saw the look on your face as Emmett and Rose were walking to the car."

"It's alright," Bella said. "Overall, it was a good thing for me," she said, shaking her head. "I often take myself way too seriously and at least I can chock it up for another first," she laughed, looking on the bright side, "plus, it's unlikely to be an experience I'll ever forget."

Edward leaned over and kissed her delicately on the lips. "I seem to be the cause of quite a few of those memories for you," he said seriously.

Bella reached toward his hair and gently traced the shape of his hairline around his ear. "I hope that you'll be the cause of quite a few more," she said. Her heart was beating fast again, and she was experiencing a range of feelings – shyness and self-consciousness included – but behind those emotions there was a degree of boldness, too. She wanted Edward, and she wanted a relationship with him. To have both, she would have to be prepared to give more of herself than she ever had before. She believed, with his help, she was ready for that.

"I love you," Edward said, her delicate touch reigniting the fire in his belly.

"And I'm in love with you."

Edward kissed her again. Once he pulled away, he sat back and looked at her steadily. "If you're not ready for this or you've changed your mind, that's OK. We've got all the time in the world. You don't have to rush into anything you're not ready for."

Bella let her fingertips trail down his jaw line and come to rest on his lips. "I'm ready," she said simply, sounding braver than she felt, the butterflies in her stomach taking flight.

Edward smiled at her and kissed her briefly once more. "Come on. Let's go check in," and with a final wink, he got out of the car. Bella followed his lead and met him near the trunk. Edward collected their bags before handing the keys to the parking attendant. "I'm afraid this place isn't quite as plush as the hotel in Manchester."

"I don't care," Bella said, smiling up at him.

Edward kissed her forehead in response and walked with her through the front doors of the hotel. "Wait here," he said, leaving her in some comfortable chairs in the lobby while he went to the reservations desk. Five minutes later, Edward rejoined her. "Ready?" he asked.

Bella smiled to herself at his choice of words. She stood and walked with him to the elevators. As they had only a small amount of baggage, Edward had declined the use of a busboy. He preferred to carry the luggage himself rather than have a third-party escort them to their room.

As they arrived on their floor, Edward guided them to their room. Putting their bags down, he unlocked the door and held it back allowing Bella to enter before him. With a nervous smile, she walked into the room, Edward following behind with their bags.

Bella quickly surveyed their room. A large, king-sized bed dominated the room. A small table with two chairs were over by the window and a large and opulently decked bathroom was on the right as they'd walked in, opposite a small closet and mini-bar.

"It's nice," Bella said, not knowing really what to say. Suddenly, she was feeling very self-conscious. The brave lady that had come out to play so many times that day was nowhere to be seen.

Edward placed their bags on the luggage rack and turned to face her. He, too, felt the intensity of the moment. He could have cut the sexual tension in the room with a knife. Standing still, he looked at the woman who'd so boldly and so confidently suggested they take their relationship forward. What he saw now, however, was a woman overcome with shyness and nerves. He wasn't sure how to put her at ease. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel anything other than his complete adoration for her. She needed to know that their being together as a couple was incredibly important to him – even more so than the sex he hoped they'd have. He moved toward her and, ever so gently, rested his hands on the tops of her shoulders.

Bella tensed slightly at his touch. She hated herself for it. The last thing she wanted was to come across as uncertain or scared. She was nervous, pure and simple. Aside from Steve, it had been many years since she had been intimate with a man and even those experiences had been nothing more than failed one-night stands. Both times, before Steve, Bella had offered herself with the hope of things turning into something more. She'd been sadly disappointed on each occasion when she'd turned out to be nothing more than a night's entertainment or a short-term fling. She'd hoped for something different with Steve, and it had been, but it still hadn't been right. After reconnecting with Edward, she'd known why.

But now - tonight - on her first real night with Edward, she knew she was with the man of her dreams and her future. She also knew that on some basic level it meant she shouldn't feel so nervous or so inhibited, but all of a sudden, she was. She worried about the superficial things like her soft tummy, her dimply thighs, and her gravity-affected breasts. She wondered if Edward would find the effects of the war that time had waged on her body as a turnoff rather than a turn-on. Inexperienced as she was with such matters, her thoughts made her feel insecure, and they unnerved her. Her bravado was gone. _Where are you now my inner sex kitten? Huh? Abandon me when it counts why don't ya?_

Edward watched a kaleidoscope of expressions pass across Bella's features. He needed to put a stop to it. Ever so slowly, he raised his hand and allowed his fingertips to trace the outline of her lips. In response, Bella sucked in a breath, her lips parting slightly in the process. Edward let his middle finger drag at her full bottom lip until it popped back into place. He leaned forward and kissed her – slowly, delicately, teasingly—until he felt her arms snake up around his body. Only then did he increase his pressure. Her lips matched his movements, their kiss taking on a life of its own as they embraced and explored each other's mouths. Bella's hips instinctively pushed into his, and Edward inwardly sighed, glad that she was finally allowing the needs of her body to override her mind. He placed his hand on her bottom and pulled her even further toward him, letting her know in no uncertain terms that he wanted her.

When their kiss drew to a natural close, Edward looked at his beloved Bella and let a grateful smile tweak at the corner of his lips.

"You said something earlier about a shower," he reminded her.

Bella swallowed nervously and nodded her head but managed to maintain eye contact. She was proud of herself for that small mercy.

"Yes."

She reached up on her toes to kiss Edward briefly, but he wouldn't let her go quite so quickly. Once again, he kissed her, pulling her towards him while simultaneously, pushing against her so that she bent back slightly over his arms that were slung around her lower back. She held his face in her hands as she kissed him until finally pulling away and taking a step back. With strength and daring she didn't realize she possessed until that moment, she silently took his hand in hers and led him to the bathroom. Her heart was thumping in her chest. She momentarily closed her eyes as they neared the room, willing her nerves to settle so that she could make the most of this moment – so that it could be something she would look back on and feel proud of, not embarrassed about. From somewhere deep inside her, her sex kitten alter ego woke and stretched her limbs. _You'll do fine, girl. Let's go have some fun. _

As they entered the room, Bella caught a glimpse of their reflection – Edward standing tall behind her, his eyes searching for hers in the mirror. She smiled shyly before turning her back on her reflection and facing Edward. She looked at his chest and focused on the stripes that ran horizontally across his t-shirt as they moved with each breath he took. She stood there gathering her remaining courage and willing herself to take the lead.

Edward placed his hands gently on her upper arms and caressed them slowly. He gradually moved them up and over her shoulders to either side of her neck and used his thumbs to gently tilt her face to his. He brought their lips together, kissing her gently before running his nose along the length of hers. His actions were slow and soft – caresses filled with promise. He then kissed her cheekbone before trailing even more kisses down the side of her face and her neck, his hands returning to her shoulders where he kneaded and squeezed them, willing her to relax. Edward could sense her tension, and he wanted to dispel it completely.

He hadn't been with a woman since before Thanksgiving. There had been a few casual acquaintances in the last few years, but no one he had considered seeing seriously. Usually, any liaisons had been more out of necessity than anything he had willing instigated. Even though he wasn't the traditional L.A. social type, Edward sometimes attended functions where it was recommended he have a date. He nearly always managed to find someone to accompany him on such occasions, and occasionally, these hookups would spill over into something more, but they never lasted long. As desirable a man as most women considered him to be, Edward had more or less given up on the idea of finding another love. His experience with Tanya had left him feeling unworthy of such an ideal, and he'd chosen his music, his instruments and his solitary life in Long Beach as a poor substitute.

All that had changed for him upon meeting Bella in New Hampshire. She'd captured his attention that very first weekend, and although he hadn't understood it at the time, he'd felt compelled to stay connected to her. As he'd gradually chipped away at her defenses, she'd just as surely melted his own. He knew he was a different man now as compared to what he'd been before, and he never wanted to go back. He wanted this beautiful woman with him by his side forever more. And while he suspected he would have to wait for that dream to come true, now that he'd finally told her how he felt, he wanted to show her and wrap her securely in the kind of love he believed she'd deserved in her life all along.

Bella sighed audibly. Her neck arched in response to Edward's attention, and she raised her hands to rest them tentatively on his chest. She could feel the shape of his pecs through his shirt and the hardness of his nipples under the palms of her hands.

Edward's lips retraced their path up her neck and across her cheek to finish on the tip of her nose. They were both breathing deeply, instinctively in sync with one another.

Taking one last deep breath and biting the proverbial bullet, Bella stepped slightly away from him. Not allowing her eyes to leave his, she reached up to undo the buttons of her blouse. Edward didn't move. In tune with her emotions as he was, he sensed she was wanting to take the lead, so he kept his eyes locked on hers as one by one she undid her buttons before slowly peeling her blouse away from her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.

As tempting as it was to look down at her, he didn't. He continued to hold her gaze and match his breathing to hers. Their eyes shared everything words at this moment couldn't convey. It was what Bella needed most to help her feel confident and something that Edward was only too happy to give.

Moments later, and maintaining eye contact with her for as long as he could, he reached down, crossing his arms in front of him, and lifted the hem of his shirt. In one fluid movement, he pulled it up and over his head before dropping it to the floor beside him.

The two soon-to-be lovers remained silent. Words weren't needed now. Bella reached behind her and undid her bra. She brought her hands forward and removed the straps from her shoulders before it, too, joined her blouse on the floor. Now she stood, for the first time as an adult, partially naked in front of Edward. He was yet to touch her, but for Bella, this was the sexiest moment she had ever experienced in her life. His eyes bore into hers with fierce intensity. Her body responded. Her nipples hardened, and she felt moisture gather between her thighs.

Bella continued with her impromptu striptease. Undoing the button of her Capri pants, and still without breaking eye contact with Edward, slid the fabric over her hips and down her thighs before shrugging them down her calves and finally stepping out of them. She'd used the vanity in the bathroom for support, not yet brave enough to touch Edward. In her mind, it was probably the least sexy movement of all, but she was captured by Edward's gaze and breaking it was not an option for her.

Bella stood before Edward, clad in nothing other than her panties. She was yet to look at his exposed chest, just as he was yet to look at her.

Finally, Bella's nerves got the better of her, and she turned away from him to push back the shower curtain and reach for the faucets. Bella focused on the temperature of the water flowing from the shower. She held her hand under it and adjusted the faucets to a comfortable temperature. Even though she could see her image reflected back at her in her peripheral vision, she steadfastly refused to look at herself in the mirror. Had she, she would have noticed Edward push down the shorts he was wearing. Without her knowing it, he was now standing fully naked behind her, and he was openly admiring the curve of her back and the apparent smoothness of her skin.

Once she was satisfied with the water temperature, and with her back still to Edward, Bella lowered her hand and hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her panties, preparing to remove them.

"Wait."

Bella's breath caught in her throat, and she closed her eyes. She didn't move. She sensed Edward come closer to her and felt his hands come to rest on top of hers.

"Beautiful," he whispered in her ear as he stood closer to her still, the evidence of his desire for her pressed against her lower back. "Look at me. Please."

With her eyes closed, Edward's voice seemed to wrap around her like some kind of warm blanket. She leaned back against him, the naked skin of her back coming into contact with his torso for the first time. Her breath caught again as she felt the wiry hair of his chest against her shoulder blades. Bella's senses were being overwhelmed, and she exhaled, the sound escaping in a long sigh.

"Beautiful, look at us," Edward whispered again, his lips brushing against her ear, sending shivers up and down her spine. He stepped back and pulled her with him, and even with her eyes closed, she knew they were now facing the mirror.

Edward set about trailing one slow, open-mouthed kiss after the other down her neck and across her left shoulder. The sensation melted her resolve, and she opened her eyes.

What she saw took her breath away.

Edward stopped and looked up to meet Bella's eyes in the mirror. From his position behind her, he enclosed her in his arms – one snaking around her, his hand rising up between her breasts, his fingertips coming to rest on her collarbone, the other embracing her around her middle. He pulled her gently against him, and Bella let her head fall against his shoulder. Once again she closed her eyes, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. She reached back with her own hands and rested her palms flat against his thighs.

"No. Don't close your eyes."

Bella opened them.

"You're beautiful," he whispered against her skin. "You're the most incredible thing I've ever seen," he continued, squeezing her tight in his embrace.

Bella's heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She was sure that Edward could feel its rapid beating under his arm as he held her so securely. His eyes still burned into hers as they looked at each other in the mirror. Looking at the two of them, Bella noted the differences in their skin tones; his tanned forearms were a stark contrast to the paleness of her torso and breasts.

The room was starting to steam up from the heat of the shower. The mist started to cloud the mirror, and Bella felt a twinge of disappointment at the loss of the visual image. She felt sexy. She felt beautiful, and for the first time in her life, she felt completely desirable and uninhibited. She turned in his arms, and reaching up, she wrapped hers around his neck and pulled him down to her. She kissed him with as much emotion as she could muster, and Edward groaned in response, pulling her to him and holding her flush against him.

They pulled apart, breathless, each of them completely driven by their desire for the other.

In one final act of disrobing, Edward kissed Bella briefly on the lips before he slowly ventured down her body, his fingertips trailing down her sides until he came in contact with the top of her panties. Hooking his fingers in them, he continued his descent. Bella sucked in her breath as she felt the last vestige of modesty slip from her hips and down her thighs to land at her feet. She placed her hands on Edward's shoulders as he knelt in front of her and helped her step out of them before he tossed them aside.

With the room becoming foggier and foggier, Edward remained kneeling at Bella's feet. He ran his fingers up her legs, tracing the outlines of her calves and thighs before bringing his palms up and over her buttocks, and marveled at her soft skin. He kneaded her gently as he brought his face to the skin of Bella's stomach. There, he ran the tip of his nose across her belly, inhaling the scent of her deeply before finally placing a kiss just below her navel.

A whimper escaped Bella's lips, and Edward turned his head and squeezed her in the tightest of hugs that he held for several seconds before releasing her and rising to stand once again in front of her.

"I love you," she said, her hands running up and down his chest. "So much."

Edward kissed her. "And I adore you," he said against her lips before kissing her once more for good measure.

With the room almost completely fogged, Bella finally stood back, and with freshly discovered confidence, took Edward by the hand.

"I promised you a shower," she said sexily. "Let's not waste what's left of the hot water," she teased, raising her eyebrows at him.

Edward smirked at her cheekiness. "I have no intention of wasting any of my time with you this weekend."

"I'm banking on it," she answered as she stepped up and into the shower, pulling him behind her. She paused, turning slightly to place a hand on his chest. "Make sure you grab the soap," she said, indicating the vanity with a nod in its direction.

Looking from Bella's hand that was placed squarely in the center of his chest, to the small circular bar of soap on the vanity, Edward took a step back and grabbed it before stepping into the shower and drawing the curtain closed behind him.

Having turned to face the spray, Bella stood with her back to him. Once again, he looked at her bare back and following the curve of her spine with his eyes, they came to rest of the swell of her bottom. His finger reached up of its own accord and traced the path his eyes had just traveled. When he reached her lower curves, he took a step closer and brought their bodies together, his erection sandwiched between the two of them. Letting his hands rest gently on her hips, he bent his head into the spray and kissed the top of her shoulder before grazing his way behind her ear, his stubble scratching her skin as he went. Bella groaned at the sensation. She let her head fall forward while she pushed her bottom back and ground herself into his erection, enjoying the feeling of hard against soft.

Edward leaned back and watched where their bodies touched. The sight of his skin against hers, his erection rubbing against her butt cheeks, made his stomach tighten and his knees bend slightly as he instinctively sought more friction. He was fully aroused, and his mind was filled with images of him taking her and thrusting into her with abandon as she arched against him. His dick twitched in response, and he mentally fought to bring his mind back to the present, for he knew he would not take Bella here in the shower. She deserved a bed and comfort for their first time together.

Logically, Edward knew that this wasn't their first time, but in his mind, it would be. He still had next to no memories of their previous encounter twenty-two years before, and the shame that knowledge brought settled on him like a wet blanket. He closed his eyes and shook the images from his mind. Tonight was his chance to make it up to her. He would do his best to bring her as much fulfillment and happiness as he possibly could, starting right this second.

He reached around her and let his fingers come to rest low on her stomach, just above the line of hair that covered her most private of places. He teased her, slowly sliding his finger in ever-increasing circles until he was reaching further and further down towards the apex of her legs.

"Lean back, Bella," he said, encouraging her.

Intoxicated by the sensations she'd been feeling, Bella had rested both her hands on the wall of the shower in front of her as she'd continued to arch herself against Edward's erection. The position, however, made it difficult for Edward to touch her the way he wanted. Releasing one hand, he brought it up to between her breasts and gently pulled her back to him. He moved his hand slightly so that he cupped one of her breasts for the first time, and Bella's hands fell to her sides as new nerves awoke within her.

Edward continued to kiss and suck at the base of her neck, and Bella elicited a moan as one of his hands massaged her breast while the other one traveled down to the space between her legs. He drew his fingers along the line of her outer lips and groaned himself as he felt the slickness that was nestled there. Pushing his fingers further, he entered her soft folds and found it difficult to contain the desire that flooded through him as he felt her warmth. He bit gently on her shoulder before swiping the exact spot with his tongue. Bella's legs buckled slightly beneath her, and Edward removed his hand from her breast and tightened his grip around her middle, keeping her supported.

"I've got you," he said, pulling more of her weight against him as his hands explored further, finally pushing one finger inside her.

Awash with sensation, Bella felt as if her body was being bombarded from all sides, the most incredible of which, at this point, was her mind. With her eyes closed, her other senses were heightened, and those sensations combined with the visual images she was creating as Edward explored her body overpowered her. Edward's breathing was just as measured as hers. Each exhalation he made flowed over her skin, and the sound of it worked magic right at her center. She was more aroused than she had ever been in her entire life, and as Edward pushed a second finger into her, her gasp was a reward he cherished.

Bella reached up and wrapped her fingers around the back of his head wordlessly giving him permission to explore further. She pulled his mouth onto her neck, and he sucked and licked at her skin, delighting in the response she was giving him. He moved the arm that held her to him so that his hand again cupped her breast, and he began to play with her taut nipple. Simultaneously, he pushed his fingers deeper inside her.

"Oh, God," Bella uttered as she felt his fingers begin to circle and explore.

Edward was trying to get to know the skin he couldn't see. He was feeling for the change in texture of the skin against her front wall; skin that would let him know exactly where he could press and tease to bring her the greatest pleasure. As his fingers explored he continued to nip and suck at her neck and when his thumb circled her clit, Bella's legs completely buckled. She hadn't expected that response. Her clit had become so sensitive that Edward's touch shot through her like a current. She was amazed by the reaction.

"I've got you. I've got you," he said as he quickly removed his fingers and wrapped both his arms around her securely.

Despite Bella's labored breathing, it took a moment or two for Bella to feel like she'd regained control of her legs. For his part, Edward was in awe of what had just happened. If Bella was so sensitive to being touched and massaged, he wondered what her reaction would be like when he did finally manage to bring her to orgasm as he intended to as often as he could.

Her breathing back under control, Bella rested the back of her head against Edward's upper chest. Her eyes were still closed. "Oh, God. I've never experienced anything like that," she whispered.

"That's only the tip of the iceberg," Edward promised, talking quietly into her ear.

"It was just so different to what I'm used to. I never imagined just being touched could be so…good," she said honestly, crossing her arms over his that still held her securely against him.

Edward played with her earlobe as he processed what she'd just said. A troubling thought just occurred to him, but the problem was how to raise it.

Bella smiled as she began to realize her body was capable of greater responses than she'd ever experienced. "I had no idea," she said, reaching for his thighs with her hands and rubbing them.

Edward hugged her tightly to him and caressed her neck with his lips. "Sweetheart," he started carefully, and because he knew no other way to phrase it, asked her directly, "Have you ever had an orgasm?"

Bella turned her head slightly to the side and tried to nuzzle against him. _Be honest with him, Bella. _"Yes," she said, "but never during sex – and only ever by myself - never with anyone else." The last words were whispered so quietly Edward wasn't sure he'd heard them correctly.

"Never?"

Bella's forehead creased as she shook her head.

"Oh, Sweetheart. I promise you we'll get you there." His heart nearly burst at that moment. He had so much that he wanted to give to this woman, and her first real experience of love-making was now at the top of his list.

"I've a toy that I use – a vibrator," Bella clarified unnecessarily. I've rarely had one any other way."

"We'll work on it together. You tell me what feels good for you, and I'll make it happen."

Bella smiled. Edward's words were so sincere, so heartfelt, that she didn't doubt for a second that wouldn't be the case. He was already awakening feelings and sensations in her that she didn't know existed. She was putty in his hands and felt a level of trust with him she never had with anyone else. "Promise?"

"I promise." For Edward, the thought of Bella living her life for so long without someone meeting her needs upset him terribly. Selfishly, however, he was glad he'd be the one to open her life to the wonders of sex, and he couldn't wait to see, over time, just how far they would explore that frontier.

"I've never told anyone that," she said, turning in his arms and nestling her cheek against his chest.

"It's nothing to feel bad about," he reassured her.

"I've always felt so weird, so awful about it."

"Why?"

Bella hugged him tighter. "Because I've always thought there was something wrong with me."

"Wrong with you?"

"Yeah. Like I was somehow made wrong. That is was something I'd never be able to have with someone else."

"Oh, Beautiful. No," he whispered. "There's nothing wrong with you. There was something wrong with the dickheads who were too selfish to look after you properly, but there's nothing wrong with you."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked.

"Look at me." He waited until she'd complied. "If you can orgasm with a toy, you can orgasm during sex," he reassured her. "There's nothing wrong with you. And besides, I'm kind of glad that I'll be the one to make it happen."

"You sound pretty confident of yourself there, Mr. Cullen," she said, hugging him again.

"After the way your body just responded to me, Ms. Swan, I have no doubt I can make you see stars."

"Sounds pretty," she said, smiling against his chest.

"Pretty amazing is right," he confirmed as he held her and swayed with her under the shower.

Bella relaxed. She'd shared more about her most private fear with Edward than she had with anyone ever before, and he hadn't turned away from her. He hadn't scorned her or made fun of her or her inexperience. Rather, he promised her fulfillment, and she longed to let her body be awoken by his touch.

As they cuddled in the shower, Bella remembered why she'd suggested the shower in the first place. She'd wanted the chance to get to know Edward's body, yet, here she was, cuddling him after he'd taken time exploring hers. She hadn't even begun to discover his.

"I thought this shower was supposed to be about you," she said, snuggling into him some more.

"All in good time," he answered, kissing the top of her head. "I've quite enjoyed myself so far."

Bella smiled. "Me, too," but then, remembering her original goal, she pulled back a little and asked without preamble. "Where's the soap?"

"I honestly have no idea," Edward said, looking down at her.

"I'll find it," she replied as she began to look around the floor of the shower. Edward stood back, more than a little bemused at her sudden change of tack. "There it is," Bella said, pointing to a spot on the floor just behind Edward but finding that her eyes were instead focusing on the rather large erection that stood proudly at attention between the two of them.

Edward noticed her looking at him and smiled ruefully. His sex-driven alter ego, who sounded disturbingly like Emmett, growled in his mind, _It's all for you, baby. _

The experience actually freaked him out a little, but refocusing his attention, he located the soap and scooped down to pick it up. Silently, and still a little usurped from his Emmett-cloning experience, he handed it silently to Bella.

She smiled and thanked him huskily before she told him directly, "Keep your hands by your sides until I tell you otherwise."

Edward smirked and was more than a little intrigued and turned on by her authoritative voice. His reaction to it was obvious as his dick twitched between them.

Bella noticed. But then, not taking her eyes from his, she smiled cheekily while rubbing her hands together to create a rich lather of foam. Leaving the soap in the palm of one hand, she reached up and pressed her hands to his chest. She started to rub them in circles, gradually covering more and more of his chest with each pass. As she passed her hands over his nipples, she rubbed them tantalizingly with her thumbs and was rewarded with a definite sign against her stomach that Edward was enjoying the experience.

Her hands didn't restrict themselves to just his chest. As her circuit increased, she included his shoulders and upper arms, her fingers leaving a trail that Edward could sense long after they'd passed. True to her instructions, he left his hands by his side, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for them to remain so. His fingers itched to reach forward and take hold of her hips. Of course, it wasn't helped by the fact that every so often she pressed her belly forward ever so slightly, connecting her soft skin with the head of his dick.

"Turn around," she eventually said softly but with such authority that he never thought for a moment not to obey. It was a slippery prospect in the confines of the hotel shower. Their forward and backward movements up to this point hadn't been too challenging, but with Edward's larger frame and the slipperiness created by the soap, spinning around had become a little precarious. Bella giggled quietly as he turned awkwardly to face away from her.

"Ready?" she asked, lathering her hands again before she touched him.

"Yes, Ma'am."

At least he thought he'd been. He'd expected Bella to touch his shoulders. She hadn't. Instead, she'd started at his lower back, her thumbs pressed against his spine with her fingers splayed outwards similar to the way a masseuse would work. Her touch had made him jump.

Slowly, she pushed her hands up, working her way towards his shoulders. When they reached their destination, she let them traipse across and then down his arms that still hung obediently by his sides. Her fingertips ran down the length of his forearms and dusted against the back of his hands before returning to their starting place. Six, seven, eight passes she made, each one stoking the fire Edward felt growing deep inside.

When she finished with his back and shoulders, she massaged his backside. Each stroke caused Edward to involuntarily push his hips forward. He tried to control his reactions but failed and reached forward, placing his hands on the wall of the shower to steady himself.

Edward's change in position and his deep breathing gave Bella all the feedback she needed. Her alter ego shook out her shoulders and really loosened up. Bella smirked.

As Bella continued her teasing, Edward's head lolled back as he soaked up the intense feelings he was enjoying, especially when she let her fingers trail along the outside of the crack between his butt cheeks. He was lucky that she only made a few circuits of that flesh, and it was with a deep sigh and shudder that he let go of the breath he'd been holding as she turned her focus onto his legs.

Bending down, Bella soaped her hands again before placing them on the back of his right leg. Running her palms down it, she gently massaged the soft skin at the back of his knee before moving toward the ankle. Parting her hands, she ran them back up his front and inside his leg. His erection bounced around in response, and he groaned as she teased him, never connecting with the part of his body he wanted her to touch most. When she finished paying attention to one leg, she switched to the other, repeating the process. Edward was beside himself with longing. He'd never experienced a shower like this in his life, and he really thought he would burst into flames if he had to remain still for much longer.

When Bella finished with his legs, she stood and prepared herself for what she'd secretly longed for. Her alter ego had been right. She was working purely on instinct, doing a combination of what felt good for her and what he appeared to enjoy. Rubbing her hands together she pressed her hands to his sides and ran them up to his underarms, gently running her fingers through the hair she found there before stepping up to him and pressing the front of her body against his back. She brought her arms across his chest and told him, ever so quietly, to put his arms down.

The sensation of her body coming into contact with his made Edward's stomach flip. He slowly brought his arms down, trapping hers against his side and they both breathed deeply as they physically connected in an entirely new way. He reached behind him, wanting to place his hands on her anywhere he could, but sliding her arms out from between their bodies, she pulled away from him and created some distance between them once more.

"Uh-uh," she teased. "Not yet." Bella enjoyed letting her alter ego take the lead and toying with this previously undiscovered side of her personality. She felt brave and playful, and quite wanton. She wanted to be in charge of this little shower scene, and while she wasn't sure how far she could push Edward at this point, she sure wanted to find out.

Edward groaned in response but returned his hands to his side.

"Soon," Bella promised, pushing her arms back to where they'd been and stepping forward once again to press her body to his.

"God, Bella," Edward said, leaning his head back, besieged by the sensation of them joined once more.

"Shh," she whispered against his back as she gently, with butterfly touches, let her hands drift down over his stomach. Bella heard him suck in a breath, and she smiled as her fingers wandered further, finally coming into the zone that Edward longed for her to touch. She let her fingers rake through the hair that lead from his stomach to his groin, following the trail and allowing her fingers to gently touch his hardened shaft. Edward shuddered and leaned forward, reaching for the wall of the shower again as she pressed herself more deliberately against his back.

Edward could feel her breasts pressed on either side of his spine. He could feel the soft mound of her belly pressed against his buttocks, but neither sensation could match the one he felt as she delicately and tentatively stroked his length for the first time. Once again, he groaned audibly, and Bella made a similar sound deep in her own throat.

Bella stroked him over and over, alternating between her fingertips and her hands. Edward could remain still no longer. With each pass of her hands or fingertips, he pushed forward and enjoyed being able to move in time with her. He breathed heavily, trying to measure his reactions, but it was a losing battle. This incredible woman and her amazing body were making him respond like he was an inexperienced teenager. His only consolation was that if he was a teenager, he would probably have already blown his load by now.

Edward believed he was doing all right. He thought he was managing the increased level of his arousal admirably. That was until Bella cupped his balls in the palm of her hands. He nearly lost it then and there.

"Oh, God, Bella," Edward groaned.

"Is this OK?" she asked, genuinely interested. She suspected that he was satisfied with what she was doing, but being new to this, she really didn't know. Her alter ego, however, gave her a thumbs-up.

"You have no idea," he said, pushing back off the wall and reaching behind for her. He found her lower back and pressed her even closer to him. His change in position pushed out his chest, and he arched his lower back against her, increasing the intensity of their contact.

Bella reached for his chest with one hand and teased his nipples while her other hand returned to his erection and stroked it purposefully.

"Oh, Bella. You've got to stop. I can't hold back much longer," he groaned.

Bella smiled into his back. "Don't," she said simply.

Edward closed his eyes and screwed his forehead in concentration. "Bella. I can't," he moaned, fighting the urge to just let go and give into the well of sensations about to burst.

Bella continued to pump his shaft. The hand that had been on his chest returned to cup his balls and massage them.

"Careful," he instructed. "Not too tight," he grunted.

"Sorry," she said as she relaxed the pressure with which she cupped him.

"Don't be…it's just…" he said, not finishing.

"It's just what?" she asked, as she continued to tease and massage him.

Edward groaned. "It feels so damned good," he said, reaching down to squeeze her ass between his hands.

"Edward. I want you to come," she said, almost inaudibly over the noise of the shower.

"I don't want to," he said, releasing his grip on her and returning his hands to the shower wall, concentrating all his effort on not giving into his release then and there.

"Edward, please," Bella begged. "I've never…"

Edward grunted with the effort it took to restrain himself. "You've never what?"

Bella closed her eyes. "I've never seen it happen."

Edward thrust into Bella's hands once more before halting completely. His face was furrowed in concentration as he tried to make sense of what Bella had said.

"Bella, I want to make love to you."

"You can."

"It's not that simple," he said, thrusting in her hand one more time, against his better judgment.

"Please?" Bella pleaded.

"Bella," he groaned, feeling his opposition already slipping.

"Just let go."

He let out a ragged breath. "Let me face you."

Bella instantly withdrew her hands, and without the clumsy and awkward movements that accompanied his previous about face, Edward spun almost on the spot to claim Bella's lips with his. After several minutes of Bella's teasing and taunting and touching and tantalizing, Edward dominated the kiss, wanting to reclaim the moment. He pulled her against him and held her body close as he powered his way through their kiss.

He finished the opposite to how he started it, and finally slowed his lips to a gentle caress before he pulled away from her. His erection still stood proudly between them as he looked into her eyes. She looked thoroughly blissed out and maybe even a little kiss-drunk.

"I'm not as young as I used to be," he said, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs, his fingers buried in her hairline at the nape of her neck. "If we do this, it's going to take me a while to regroup," he warned her.

Bella blushed amid the heat and the steam of the shower. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked," she said, lowering her eyes.

"No!" Edward said, tilting her head back and forcing her to look at him. "Don't ever be afraid to tell me what you want."

"Does it really make that much of a difference whether it's you pleasuring me or me pleasuring you?" she asked him as her hands massaged his chest.

Edward pulled his lips tight. He couldn't argue with her logic, but when Bella saw the conflict and indecision written all over his face, her resolve crumbled. "Oh, God. I should never have said anything," she lamented, closing her eyes.

It hurt Edward to see Bella looking so unsure of herself, and it was all his fault. _What am I doing?_ he asked himself. _She only wants to do something for you that you'd do for her in a heartbeat. What's your problem here, man?_ He knew he had his answer.

"Bella. Look at me." He waited until she complied, and he was upset to see tears of doubt in her eyes. He decided to be completely honest with her. "I've dreamed of making love to you everyday since Christmas."

Bella's eyes widened in shock.

"It's true," he continued. "You've owned me body and soul since then. And nearly every time I thought about making love to you, I've had to handle things myself with just my memories of you to make it seem real." He smiled as he watched her process what he'd just told her while the water cascaded over the top of them. "But I've never thought about this scenario, and tonight you've surprised me at every turn."

Bella reached up onto her toes and pulled on his neck. He bent to her and, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulled her to him. This time, it was Bella who kissed him, hard. She ground her hips against him and lifted her leg to wrap it around his thigh, pushing herself onto his leg.

Edward groaned again at the feeling of her soft center grinding against his leg. "Careful, Sweetheart," he said, breaking their kiss. "Any more of that and we both might miss out on what we want."

Bella reluctantly replaced her leg, and they both looked down between their inflamed bodies. Edward held her hips in his hands and watched as she tentatively reached for his erection. She began to stroke it slowly, first with one hand and then with two. She kept her eyes focused on what she was doing but smiled when she heard Edward suck in a breath and hold it.

"This will be a first for me, too, you know," he whispered.

Bella increased the pressure of her hands.

"Oh, shit. Just like that," Edward said, as he began thrusting his hips to meet the movements of her hands.

Bella caressed the head of his shaft, spreading his pre-cum as the water of the shower bounced off her back. She gripped his erection harder still and moved in time with him while she cupped his balls again with her other hand.

Edward was panting heavily now. "Look at me," he demanded.

Without hesitation, Bella lifted her face to his. Edward's eyes were heavily lidded, but he claimed her lips roughly with his. Bella kept pumping him, working faster and harder than she had before, and Edward groaned into her mouth. "I'm so close," he said between her lips.

Bella moaned, too, but then gasped. She'd felt his balls tighten in her hand, and she broke their kiss to look down in time to see Edward thrusting wildly.

He grunted as he released into the space between them.

Bella gasped as she watched him come, his hips thrusting forcibly as he orgasmed. Within seconds, however, her eyes were no longer on Edward's penis. He'd grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her to him roughly, kissing her desperately, her body molding instantly to his. Even though Edward knew Bella couldn't get pregnant this way, as he'd finally let go and given her what she'd asked for, he'd closed his eyes and a number of images had flashed through his mind - images of Bella with young children – their children. The force of his orgasm was nothing compared to the emotions that burst forth from his heart. He realized that he wanted more children with her, and he instantly saw a possibility for that in their future.

Edward smiled against her lips as he came down from his high. "You are my past, present and future," he told her with as much love as he could inject into that statement. "I love you."

Bella clung to him, her hands somehow having ended up around his neck.

"I'm yours," she said over and over, pressing her body into his.

They kissed some more, neither wanting to lose contact with the other before Edward finally came up for air.

"We have to wash off, Beautiful."

"Haven't we been under the water enough, already?" she asked, giggling.

"Not quite," Edward said, pushing her back into the corner of the shower and letting the water cascade between their bodies.

Bella watched the water fall, washing away the evidence of their passion and creating a distance of sorts between them. She looked up at him through the spray and smiled.

"So," he asked her. "Was it what you expected?"

"I can't imagine what it's like to have your body do that," she answered.

"It's good," he said wriggling his eyebrows at her.

"And I did it right?" she asked him, cheekily. She already had her answer.

Edward laughed out loud at her brashness. "That, Ms. Swan, was so much better than my solo efforts," he said, making her blush.

He quickly rinsed off what was remaining of the soap on his back and pulled back the shower curtain.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for round two," Edward said, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. Bella stood there behind the stream of water, a startled look on her face. "Give me a minute or two and then turn the water off. I'll be waiting," he said before he pulled the shower curtain closed.

Bella pulled the curtain back. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere," he assured her. "I just need a couple of minutes to do something. Now, finish your shower but don't get out until I tell you to," he said. Edward had liked Bossy Bella from earlier. _Let's see how she well she handles some of her own medicine,_ he thought as he pulled the shower curtain closed for a second time.

"So you're a man of mystery all of a sudden?" Bella asked from behind the curtain. When she failed to get an answer, she peered out to see nothing but a steam-filled bathroom and no Edward. "Hmph," she said aloud before closing the curtain again and finishing her shower as Edward had told her to.

A minute later, feeling like a wrinkly prune, Bella turned off the water and pulled back the curtain only to get a fright as she saw Edward standing there, holding a towel aloft.

"Finished?" he asked.

"Ah-huh," Bella answered, and for the briefest of moments, she was amazed by her own progress. There she was standing completely naked in front of Edward and feeling nothing other than excitement and anticipation.

"Well, come here, then," he growled while gesturing with the towel that he held between his hands. He smirked at her, the crooked smile making Bella's insides knot with expectation. "It's my turn, now."


	47. Chapter 47

SM owns. I don't.

Now...where were we?

from chapter 46...

_A minute later, feeling like a wrinkly prune, Bella turned off the water and pulled back the curtain only to get a fright as she saw Edward standing there, holding a towel aloft._

_"Finished?" he asked._

_"Ah-huh," Bella answered, and for the briefest of moments, she was amazed by her own progress. There she was standing completely naked in front of Edward and feeling nothing other than excitement and anticipation._

_"Well, come here, then," he growled while gesturing with the towel that he held between his hands. He smirked at her, the crooked smile making Bella's insides knot with expectation. "It's my turn, now."_

* * *

**Chapter 47 - Payback**

Without taking her eyes from Edward's, Bella offered him a flirtatious smile while tilting her head just slightly. She didn't, however, step toward him.

Edward's hands remained outstretched, holding on to her towel. He lowered his chin just a little, pursed his lips and questioningly raised his eyebrows in response.

Bella, somewhat cheekily, mirrored his actions.

Edward narrowed his eyes. "Playing hard to get now, are we?" he challenged, a smile teetering at the edges of his lips.

"Is it working?"

Edward tried unsuccessfully to bite back a laugh at an errant thought that went through his head.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Nothing," he answered simply, shaking his head.

"That," Bella said, raising one hand and pointing at him, "was not nothing."

Edward smirked and proffered the towel again. "Come here," he beckoned.

"Not until you explain to me what just happened," she countered, putting her hands on her hips.

"Look at you. Little Miss Bossy," Edward teased. "I might even have taken you seriously if you weren't standing there in the buff."

Bella, uncharacteristically, had completely forgotten about her nakedness. Edward's reference to it made her immediately, although a little belatedly, attempt to cover herself with her hands.

"Too late," Edward said, smiling broadly once more and waggling his eyebrows. "I saw the opening act."

Bella laughed out loud and shook her head at the silliness of her actions.

"Come here," he beckoned yet again.

Continuing to smirk at herself, Bella stepped out of the shower and into Edward's arms. He wrapped the towel around her and pulled her close. When she buried her face into his chest, she was immediately struck by his scent and his warmth. She was quite content to stay there for the moment, and as she pulled herself into him even further, Edward lowered his head and placed his cheek on top of her hair, cradling her securely in his embrace.

"Nice shower?" he asked.

In her little warmth bubble against Edward's chest, Bella's only response was to purr; she thought it had been inaudible.

"I take it that's a yes?"

Bella hunched her shoulders and giggled into his chest, nodding her head. "Was it good for you, too?"

This time, it was Edward's turn to smirk. He may have even giggled a little himself.

"Why yes, Ms. Swan. You could say it was."

Bella's only response was to squeeze him even tighter.

After a moment or two, Edward pulled back slightly, but Bella fought against it, refusing to loosen her grip.

"Let me dry you, Beautiful, before you catch cold."

"I'm not cold."

"You're still wet."

"I don't care. I'm happy here."

"Please?"

Bella paused, pretending to consider his request. "Only if you tell me what you were smirking about a moment or so ago."

Rolling his eyes, Edward gently rubbed the towel over her back. "It really wasn't that funny. It just sounded funny in my head, that's all."

"What did?"

"You really want to know?"

"Uh-huh" she replied, once again nodding her head against his chest but not looking up at him.

"Well," he started, feeling a little self-conscious, "You said, _Is it working?, _and the first thing that came to mind was, _Not just yet, but soon_."

Bella chuckled.

"I'm glad I amuse you," he responded wryly, resting his chin atop her head.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. But it was funny."

Edward again, ran his hands over her back. "You really should dry off, you know. I'm happy to do the honors."

Bella pulled back to look Edward in the eye. "Are you now?" she teased.

"Absolutely."

"Sounds tempting."

"Let yourself be tempted," Edward led, provocatively.

Bella pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes slightly. "A girl could get used to such things."

"That'd be fine by me," he replied with a wicked grin that made Bella's girlie bits tingle. "Lift your arms."

Slowly and silently, Bella complied.

As she did, Edward pulled the towel away from her back and began to dry her. He worked from her hands, stretched way above her head, down both arms before paying intimate attention to her breasts, stomach and backside, never letting his eyes leave her body. When he crouched down to dry her legs, Bella silently placed her hands on his shoulders and watched as he gently, but confidently, dried the water from her skin. He paid careful attention to her feet, lifting each one in turn and placing it on his thigh to dry it before putting it back on the floor.

After completing the task he'd set for himself, Edward nuzzled Bella's stomach. He kissed it gently before looking up at her through the space between her breasts. Bella was touched by the utterly personal, if somewhat unusual, gesture. She smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair, gently dragging her fingernails against his scalp before pulling at it. Edward closed his eyes and kissed her belly once more before he pushed himself upright. She remembered back to a little earlier in their evening when Edward had also hugged her around her middle and kissed her gently on the stomach. She wondered, momentarily, if he had a thing for soft tummies.

Her train of thought was distracted when Edward reverently reached up and began to gently towel dry her hair. She closed her eyes at the intimacy of the moment and wondered how something so mundane, so ordinary, could suddenly seem so sensual.

"Have you got a brush or a comb?" he asked her softly.

"Mmm," she murmured throatily.

"Bella?" he asked again, trying to get an answer out of her.

"In my bag, I think," she replied without opening her eyes.

Edward stopped his scalp massage and kissed her lovingly on the forehead. "How about we go get it?"

Bella opened her eyes when she felt Edward reach around her with her towel and secure it below her shoulder blades.

"Oh," Bella mumbled, startled; her mind slow to process what was happening. "I can do it."

"I don't mind. Either way," he replied, casually while leaning back to look at her. "But it's going to get awfully tangled if we don't brush it out a little first."

A curious smile formed at the edge of Bella's lips as she played along. "Tangled, you say?"

"Tangled."

"Goodness. Whatever have you got in mind?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I suspect I would," she said, trying to level him with her gaze.

"All in good time, Ms. Swan," he said, before brushing her lips with a gentle kiss. "Now then. Where's that hairbrush?"

Stepping back slightly while holding her towel in place across her chest, Bella offered Edward a knowing smile before she moved past him and walked out of the bathroom. He followed her silently, but as she headed for her bag, she stopped short when she noticed what Edward had done to the room.

The bed had been turned down, and several pillows, more than what she'd remembered seeing, had been arranged on it. The main overhead lights had been switched off, and a delicate glow from the one bedside lamp lit the room. Low, soft, classical music from the television added to the mood. It was a simple, yet thoughtful, attempt at working with what they had, and Bella's emotions swelled at his attentiveness.

Turning to face him, she reached up and put one hand around the back of his neck. Pulling him to her, she boldly whispered, "I really don't give a damn about my hair." She then kissed him. Softly, at first, before her desire for him changed the kiss to something else entirely.

Responding in kind, Edward kissed her back just as purposefully, pulling her into him, their bodies melding together.

"As you wish," he said moments later as he half pushed, half walked her to the bed, kissing her on the way.

When the backs of her knees met the side of the bed, Bella slowly lowered herself to sit on the edge. Edward leaned down as he continued to kiss her, his hands resting on the bed on either side of her. Breaking their kiss, he whispered quietly, "Scoot back and roll over."

Bella looked at him quizzically.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her.

She answered without hesitation. "Absolutely."

"Then scoot back," he insisted again, "roll over and close your eyes."

Doing as she was told, Bella wriggled backwards up the bed. The towel Edward had so carefully wrapped around her body threatened to come away, and she skillfully held onto it with one hand while she repositioned herself. With one final look in his direction, she lay back and rolled onto her front while subtly trying to cover her backside when the ends of the towel parted and exposed her rounded flesh.

Edward stood at the end of the bed watching as she followed his instructions. He smiled inwardly at her feeble attempts at modesty. While it was true he'd found it incredibly sexy when Bella had overcome many of her inhibitions this night, his heart also responded to the private woman who was obviously still a significant part of who she was. The fact that she'd still try to cover herself in his presence displayed the more demure aspects of her personality, and it was a side of her that he found equally attractive and alluring. True to his experiences of her thus far, she was a bewildering combination of opposites – assertive but at times, bashful, confident yet apprehensive. And still, despite her complexities, he suspected that he would never tire of trying to unravel the mystery that was Bella Swan.

When Bella laid her head to one side and finally seemed to settle with her eyes closed, Edward looked at her trusting form and was once again amazed that their relationship had changed so quickly. He'd hoped for it for months, of course, since Christmas really, but now that their moment was here, he realized just how far the two of them had come since Thanksgiving, just a few short months ago. And it was those thoughts that literally made him rock slightly on his feet.

Rousing himself from his reflections, he gently reached out and touched the soft arch of her foot.

Bella's eyes flew open and her legs jumped slightly at the unexpected caress.

"Ssshh," Edward whispered quietly. "Close your eyes and relax," he told her as he bent forward and slowly placed his hands on the soles of her feet. He softly massaged her arches with his thumbs while his fingers moved lightly over her insteps.

"What are you doing?" Bella whispered, equally as quiet.

"Payback," Edward answered as he moved his hands from her feet to her ankles.

"Oh!"

"Enjoy," he encouraged, as his fingers caressed the soft, paper-thin skin.

_Oh. My. God._ Bella thought as she fought to stop her legs from twitching while Edward's gentle pressure worked its magic. She'd never before realized a person's ankles could be an erogenous zone.

Edward was distracted by the job at hand, and with her head turned to the side away from him, he wasn't paying close attention to Bella's facial expressions. Had he been, he might have seen the briefest of smirks that soon played at the corner of Bella's lips when she inwardly cheered herself for having remembered to shave her legs before her trip West.

Mesmerized by every inch of her skin, his fingers traveled enticingly along the length of her legs toward her towel-covered body. Her skin was supple and smooth, yet underneath, he felt the distinct form of her muscles, especially those around her calves. Teasingly, he drew the tiniest of spirals there before moving his fingers on. Bending down, he left a trail of kisses along the skin his fingers had just passed.

Bella's wholebody gave an involuntary quiver. He wasn't even up to her knees yet, but her flesh was breaking out in wave after wave of goose pimples, responding to his touch. When he traced delicate patterns on the skin behind her knees, and then quickly followed them with a swipe of his tongue, Bella groaned audibly and wriggled her toes in delight.

"Is Madam enjoying her massage?"

"Mmm."

Edward slowly transferred his weight completely onto the bed, his knees coming to rest on either side of Bella's lower legs. Still wearing his own towel, he pulled haphazardly at it, trying to give himself more freedom of movement. Edward fully intended to take his time exploring Bella's body so there was really no need for him to expose himself to her again just yet. Bella was still covered, so he chose to remain so as well, and as far as he was concerned, they had all night if that's the way they wanted it.

He glanced toward the condoms and the small bottle of hotel-provided moisturizer that he'd placed on the nightstand next to the bed while Bella had finished her shower. Deciding to wait until he'd exposed her back, he returned his gaze to his hands that were now spread across the back of Bella's legs. He kneaded her skin; his thumbs applying pressure to the inside of her thighs. He liked the way his thumbs disappeared from view as they massaged closer to, but never touching, her center.

Bella groaned loudly in response, frustrated that Edward's current position astride her legs prevented her from opening them to him. She was desperate for him to touch her more intimately, and the moisture she felt pooling between her legs was testament to that.

Momentarily distracted, Edward allowed himself a private smile when his dick responded to Bella's throaty groan. _Welcome back_, he greeted it silently, _glad you could make it_.

Tantalizingly, he moved his hands up and under the towel that covered Bella's backside. Still careful so as not to touch her where he suspected she wanted it most, Edward let his thumbs and fingers make a few slow circuits of her delicate, slightly-padded bum. With each pass, he let his fingertips move closer and closer to where her hips lay flush against the bed. He was spellbound by the way her skin felt under his hands and by its gentle movement in response to his pressure. He wondered if any of her previous lovers had ever taken the time to discover the ways in which her body responded to a man's touch. From the little she'd shared with him about her history, he doubted that any of them had ever touched her like he was, and the thought made him twitch again. He could probably take her now, if he'd wanted to, but that was not in the game plan. He hadn't even started to play with her body yet – he was still in the exploration phase.

Seconds later, Bella tried once again to move, Edward's tortuous massage driving her crazy with longing. Circling her hips, she did as best she could to try and create some much needed friction while she wordlessly attempted to encourage his efforts.

Edward unmistakably got the message, but teasingly, he removed his hands from her body.

Not understanding what was happening, Bella frowned as she felt Edward's weight shift, and she opened her eyes to see him lean across to the nightstand where he picked up a small bottle.

"Moisturizer," he said to her unasked question, briefly showing her the bottle. "I thought you might like a whole body massage," he continued.

"Oh."

"Is that alright?" he asked.

"Yes," Bella croaked in reply, wondering silently whether whole body actually meant _whole body_. She sure as hell hoped it did.

"Good. Relax."

Being relaxed seemed to be a central theme for the night from Edward's point of view.

Determined to comply and let the night unfold on its own, Bella took a deep breath before momentarily wondering whether some Marvin Gaye might have been a better choice of music than the classical she could still hear playing in the background. This moment in time, as far as she was concerned, just oozed with promise of extraordinary sex, and she could just imagine swinging and swaying (amongst other things) to a bit of Marvin's music. When Edward returned his attention to her back and gently pulled at the towel that hid her from him, all thoughts as to the choice of music selection promptly drifted away. Bella was just about ready to swing and sway, or rock and roll, to anything at this point. Music be damned.

Edward squeezed a little moisturizer into the palm of his hands and proceeded to massage Bella's back. Starting at the base of her spine and applying pressure with his thumbs, he pushed his hands slowly along her body's central line all the way to the base of her neck. There, he let his fingertips trail across the tips of her shoulders and then down her sides to return to their starting point. Each pass he made was slightly different, either in pressure or path, and drove Bella to complete distraction, especially when his fingertips began to brush the sides of her breasts.

After Edward positioned himself over the top of her thighs, more or less pinning her pelvis to the bed, she had to content herself to a small amount of limited grinding against the sheets in an attempt to satisfy the smoldering fire deep in her belly.

Edward was breathing deeply. He was determined to arouse Bella as much as possible before he made love to her. He wanted this time with him to be more than she had ever experienced with another. He frowned when he reminded himself that her past experiences also included the tryst of their youth. He mentally fought against the twin emotions of self-loathing and gratefulness that had been regularly warring in his psyche over recent months. Of course, he knew that without their inauspicious beginning, there would be no now, and for that fact alone, he was grateful. And yet, there was a significant part of him that was deeply ashamed of his behavior all those years ago – that his night of throwing caution to the wind had resulted in Bella's years of struggle and heartache.

By way of silent apology for his previous transgression, he began to kiss her shoulder blades mid-circuit as his fingers trailed down her sides. As he worked on her body, part of him wondered if he'd ever forgive himself completely for the pain he'd inadvertently caused her. It was something, even now, he found difficult to come to terms with. They'd both paid a heavy price for a youthful folly. Bella had her son, but had lost her youth. Edward had lost Dan's youth, but now could share in his future.

The past had cost them all so much.

As Edward continued to massage her skin, he tried to push such dark thoughts from his mind and focus only on the here and now – this beautiful woman, this incredible mother, his wonderful lover, laid out before him and offering herself to him like she had to no man before. Of this he was sure. She'd never opened her heart to another – she'd told him that. And so, from now on, he'd do everything in his power to hold her, protect her and love her to the best of his ability. Their future was beckoning them into a world of shared joys and responsibilities. It was a future Edward was intending to grasp hold of and never let go.

Unaware of Edward's musings, Bella had been moving her torso attempting to encourage his hands under her body to more thoroughly touch her breasts. Completely frustrated, and on his eighth pass, she'd finally had enough.

Quickly pushing up on her hands, she arched her back and turned her head to seek Edward's lips with her own. Although a little taken aback by her sudden and forceful movement, he responded without hesitation, and leaned forward to kiss her passionately.

Grabbing her around the waist, he lifted himself from her legs and pulled her back toward him. She ended up in a kneeling position on her haunches, his thighs spread wide, encasing hers. Back to chest, they continued to kiss, Bella reaching up and placing her hands on the back of his head, her fingers knotting in his hair while Edward's hands cupped her breasts, pulling and massaging, and never once staying still. Moans of unbridled pleasure escaped from both of them. Edward's slow burn had erupted into flames that neither were prepared to extinguish.

Their kiss broke apart abruptly, Bella no longer able to maintain that position. She quickly turned to face him and knelt up to take his lips with hers again. Gone were her inhibitions. Gone was her insecurity. This was Bella, filled with desire and throwing caution to the wind.

Edward held her to him. He pressed himself against her and was rewarded with even more throaty sounds of approval. He'd wanted to take things slowly with Bella, get to know her body and what she responded to, but all that was gone now. He wanted her – badly. He couldn't get enough of her.

Pushing her onto the bed, they became a mess of tangled legs and arms as they reached for each other, overtaken by their desires. Edward pulled roughly at his towel, eagerly assisted by Bella, and as the last remnant of their foreplay disappeared, he pressed his weight fully onto her, ravaging her lips, throat and neck with his kisses.

Sounds of their shared passion filled the space around them and drove them on, pushing and pulling in their need to connect with each other. Bella wound her legs through Edward's, grinding herself against him.

In the back of Edward's mind, a little voice reminded him that he'd wanted this night to be about Bella's enjoyment and Bella's fulfillment, so he broke their heated kisses to take a moment to look down on her. Her eyes were hooded with lust, and her lips were red and full. His dick twitched in response. He slowed his breathing, trying to regain control of the moment.

"Slow down, Beautiful. We don't need to rush this."

"I want you," she replied simply, kissing him and pulling him back to her.

They kissed some more while Edward pushed his hardened erection against her pelvic bone. "I want you, too," he said, between kisses.

"Now," she begged, one word containing her heartfelt plea.

Kiss.

"Not, yet."

"Yes."

Kiss.

"No."

Kiss.

"I want to feel you inside me," she begged some more, longing dripping from every word.

Kiss.

"And I want to make you come, first."

"Ugh," she moaned, part frustrated, part excited. _After all, why would a girl argue with that?_

"Don't rush this, Sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere," he whispered into her ear.

Kiss. Kiss. Nibble.

"Awh."

It seemed at this point that Bella was past being able to form a coherent counterargument.

Edward began to move down her neck, kissing every inch or so as he went. He then traced his tongue along her collar bone from one side to the next, Bella squirming under him as he worked, her hands buried in his hair. When he returned to the hollow at the base of her throat, he trailed his tongue down between her breasts, kissing her skin briefly before traveling back up the path he'd just taken.

Bella arched her back, pushing her chest and her breasts up to him, offering as much of herself as she was able. Her eyes were closed as she lost herself in the sensations Edward was creating. She didn't care what he did at this point just as long as he kept doing it.

It didn't take much for Edward to turn his head to the side and suck one of her nipples into his mouth. He sucked and teased it into a peak before turning to start work on its partner. His heavy breathing was interspersed with moans of pleasure from them both, and when he finally sat back on his haunches to admire his handy work, the sight of Bella, lying aroused beneath him, her eyes closed, head turned to the side and her bottom lip held between her teeth sent bolts of electricity straight to his groin.

"God, you're beautiful," he said, worshipping her, watching his hands pull at the peaks he'd just created with his mouth. "You're gorgeous."

Bella didn't reply aloud, she merely pushed her chest into his hands again, silently willing him on.

_I'm going to make you come so hard you won't even have the energy to scream_, he thought as he looked down her body, his fingertips following the path of his eyes. He reached under her and half lifted, half dragged her so that her backside came to rest on his thighs, her legs bent and spread on either side of him. For the first time, he got a look at the flesh hidden beneath her curls, and without conscious thought, his thumbs began to stroke her slowly, gently exposing her more and more to him. His breath caught as he admired what he saw, and when he pushed a thumb into her, he gasped aloud at the feeling of her skin closing around it, the moisture drenching him, right up to his knuckle.

Bella, too, gasped. Finally, he was touching her where her mind and body craved it most.

As Edward continued to push his thumb in and out of her, his fingers raked her curls while his other hand rubbed at the tendons at the top of her left thigh, his hands working in perfect timing together. Bella sighed her approval, and Edward broke his gaze to look at her face. At that moment, Bella opened her eyes and looked directly at him. A smile played at the corner of her lips.

"More," she said simply, before closing her eyes and grinding herself against his hands.

Edward was only too happy to comply.

Placing his two thumbs side by side, he pushed both into her gently and watched while her body expanded as it accepted him. He ached with need but focused on controlling his desperate craving to bury himself in her completely. His fingers continued to alternate between pulling and playing with her curls and massaging the soft hollow and stretched tendons at the top of her legs as his thumbs worked their way in and out of her warm, velvety skin.

Sounds of Bella's approval, mixed with longing filled the room as Edward watched her push herself to meet his hands. At one point, she reached for his forearms and held them, encouraging him to quicken his pace while trying to show him how much force felt good. After several harder thrusts, he withdrew them altogether but quickly replaced them with two fingers as he worked to feel deeper inside of her. He located her clit and began to tease it with the pad of his moistened thumb. Her legs started to twitch and tremble, and her voice audibly caught in her throat as she moaned time and time again in response.

"You're so beautiful," he said aloud as he watched her begin to let go entirely, her body thrusting to meet his fingers.

"Awh," Bella replied, her voice rising and her hips moving harder, demanding more friction with each movement.

Edward began feeling for the section of skin he had tried to find earlier in the shower. He curled his fingers and played until he found it, a change in the pitch of her constant mewling giving it away.

A smile pulled at the edge of his lips. "That's it, Sweetheart."

"Awhh," Bella replied, her brow furrowed, as she worked with him to seek the one thing her previous experiences had never afforded her.

Listening to her sounds and watching her body's responses, Edward concentrated on getting her there. Just as if he was playing a treasured instrument, he changed his pace or his pressure to match her need and before long, he was rewarded with the sounds he wanted to hear from her most.

As her orgasm began to build, her breathing came in short, sharp bursts and her legs tensed, stretching out directly behind him. Her toes curled back in preparation as she focused all her energy into the moment. She made one last attempt to push herself onto his fingers and ride on the crest of the wave for as long as she could, but her legs went to jelly as her blood supply rushed to the muscles contracting in her core, her body beginning its freefall into bliss.

Bella's accompanying drawn-out moan made Edward smile, and not wanting to miss a moment of what he had created for her, his eyes dueled between watching her face and focusing on where his fingers remained buried inside her.

Edward was a proud man. He'd done it - something that no one else before him had ever done for her. He'd brought her to orgasm. While a younger man might boast of such a conquest to his buddies at a local bar late one night, Edward knew that this intensely private moment would be his precious, treasured and entirely personal memory - one that he would take to his grave.

As her orgasm ebbed, he played inside her a little more, twisting and rubbing and circling; pushing in and pulling out. He wanted to prolong her pleasure to not let it die off completely and to bring her back to the brink. She'd been beautiful to watch – utterly uninhibited and primal – if that was an appropriate description. He needed to see it again.

A long contented sigh escaped Bella's lips as she floated into consciousness. She opened her eyes and met Edward's. "Thank you," she whispered, a blissful smile on her lips, her eyes shining with moisture.

Placing his free hand on the bed beside her head, he leaned over her and kissed her while his fingers continued to arouse her.

"That was wonderful," she said between kisses.

Finally, Edward spoke. "I'm not finished with you, yet."

"Mmm," Bella purred, raking her hands through his hair while rubbing her thighs against his. "I hope not."

"You're going to come, again."

"Promise?"

Kiss.

"Absolutely."

Kiss.

"I want you inside me," she said without embarrassment or shyness.

Kiss.

"Soon."

Kiss.

"Now."

Kiss.

"I can wait."

"I don't want to."

Kiss. Kiss.

"But there's more I want to do," he explained, before nibbling on her neck.

"Next time," she said, arching her neck for him. "I want to feel you in me."

"Sweetheart, I want to see you come again."

Kiss.

"I want you to come with me. In me. On top of me."

This time, it was Edward who groaned.

"Make love to me, Edward," Bella said, matter-of-factly.

Edward pulled his fingers away from her center and placed his hand next to her head, repositioning himself over her but not putting his weight on her. He looked into her eyes, and saw her determination and her desire in their depths.

As if to reinforce the point, Bella flattened her feet on the bed and pushed her hips up to try and connect with his now rock-hard erection. "Please?"

"Are you sure about this?"

"I need you," she said, grabbing his dick and placing it at her entrance. "Here."

Edward closed his eyes. Bella's hand and her moist, heated body against his sensitive skin sapping the last of his resistance. He rocked his hips slowly, his tip briefly pressing into her before he pulled back. But Bella refused to let him go. She gently pulled him toward her, and he followed her lead, pushing himself forward and gasping quietly as she closed in around him. He shuddered slightly and paused before withdrawing from her slowly.

"Don't stop," she begged, her hand pulling gently at him once more.

"Sweetheart," he said, bending toward her and kissing her on the hollow under her ear. "I've got to get a condom."

"Awh," she moaned, her voice filled with disappointment. She released him, knowing ultimately that he was right but already mourning the loss of feeling him inside her.

Edward kissed her again, understanding her disappointment but not willing to make the same error in judgment twice.

He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed impatiently for a condom. He sat back and tore at the wrapper. Bella watched as he slowly rolled it on. She reached up to touch him once it was covered, the latex of the condom feeling foreign and already unfamiliar. His eyes met hers and in them she saw empathy, for he, too, was regretting the physical barrier that was to become between them.

"It's only for the short-term, Sweetheart. We can sort something else out soon enough," he offered, trying to make the moment better.

Bella nodded silently, not wanting to make any more of an issue of it. They were both grown-ups here, and both shared responsibility for their actions this time round.

"I love you," she whispered, her fingers reaching up to trace his jawline.

"Oh, God. I love you," he answered, before turning his face to capture her fingertips between his teeth. He bit on them gently, and ran his tongue over them, causing Bella to suck in a quick breath.

"Show me."

Little by little, with Edward supporting his weight on his arms, he pushed his way into her, Bella opening her legs wide before finally welcoming him completely. She pinned him to her with her legs, her ankles locked behind his back while with one hand, she caressed the back of his head, running her fingernails along his scalp. The other, she ran up and down his spine. Now that their time was here, their movements were slow and purposeful.

Edward groaned as he buried himself in her. The feeling of it engulfing him, and he leaned forward to kiss her tenderly when he was in as deep as he could possibly go. He rocked back and forward, enjoying the feel of her body moving in time with his, and he soon broke away from their kissing to look down at their bodies finally joined together. He continued to watch as he slowly thrust in and out of her, thoroughly turned on by the sight of him disappearing inside her only to reappear again moments later.

Bella's sigh of pleasure roused him, and he looked at her. Her eyes were closed, and the white silkiness of her throat was exposed and begging to be taken. Leaning down, he kissed her there eliciting deep sounds of approval. He focused his attention on that translucent skin and nibbled and sucked his way to her ear where he whispered lovingly to her before taking her earlobe into his mouth.

Bella's body responded, and she hugged him to her tightly. She audibly gasped each time he pushed into her, and his pace began to quicken, spurred on by her encouragement. She unlocked her feet from behind his back and placed them flat on the bed next to his thighs. She pushed her hips up, trying to meet him thrust for thrust. Gone were their slow movements from earlier. This was now nothing more than building, fast, furious passion.

Transferring his weight to one elbow, he felt for where their bodies were joined and he applied gentle pressure on the very soft and sensitive skin of her perineum. It was difficult for him to maintain this for long in their current position, but he was still determined to make this experience as electrifying as possible for her. Bella halted her hips, enjoying the new pressure Edward was applying, which was entirely foreign but far from unwelcomed.

After several thrusts this way, he returned his arm to rest on the bed near her head, and he pushed himself up so only their hips remained in close contact. He ground into her, trying to create as much friction as he could on her clit. All the while, he watched Bella's breasts bounce in time with the force of his movements, her nipples darkening under his gaze. He was beginning to fight his own imminent release, the pressure of which was building up with each minute that passed. He briefly stopped thrusting and withdrew from her altogether to allow him to take her nipples into his mouth – first one then the other. He sucked on each one hungrily, pulling at them before flicking them with his tongue as he held them between his teeth.

Bella's increasing gasps and utterances made little sense. She was being driven to the edge of reason by her responses to what Edward's body was doing to her. Never in her life had she expected that sex would ever be this good. Now, finally, she knew what others wrote about, or filmed about. Finally, she knew what it meant to be loved well.

Edward lifted his head from her chest and watched her reaction as he found her entrance again and drove himself into her in one fluid action. For a split second, Bella's eyes opened wide but then closed again with pleasure as Edward repeated the movement, over and over. Wrapping her legs around him yet again, she tried to match him but ended up just hanging on, holding on to him while he worked the both of them hard.

Just as Edward felt his own climax begin to peak, he reached for her tender, swollen clit and rubbed it deftly with his middle finger. He was almost immediately rewarded with a loud, single cry that was soon replaced by a series of low, almost guttural sounds as he felt her unravel. He held out for as long as he could until, with a final thrust, he let himself come, his sounds matching hers.

Bella held him to her while he rode out the last of his orgasm, the long, slow remnants of her own still quaking inside her.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear.

Seconds later, a spent but incredibly happy Edward replied with an emotion-filled kiss. He took his time, his kiss becoming more like an intimate massage than a just a sign of enduring affection. Bella instinctively responded and ground her hips into his again, delighting in the feeling the added pressure gave her. She moaned aloud, the seemingly never-ending sensations between her legs once again rendering her speechless.

"You're beautiful," he whispered into her ear as he tried valiantly to push into her once more. He knew it was not possible for him to go another round at this point, but he suspected that even if he made love to her every day for the rest of his life, he would never get enough of wanting to be connected to her in this way.

"That was just…" Bella started, trying to regain her power of speech while continuing to rub herself against what was left of his erection.

"Careful, Sweetheart," he whispered, as he regrettably began to slide out of her, securing the condom around his softening dick. Being their only form of protection, and despite his earlier vivid images of a shared future with children, he didn't want to run the risk of another accidental pregnancy.

Bella moaned in disappointment as he removed his weight from her.

"I'll be back in a minute, promise," he said, kissing her quickly before leaving their bed.

Closing her eyes, Bella rolled onto her side and squeezed her legs together before tucking them to her, the pressure doing something to relieve the sense of loss she was feeling. She heard the sound of running water from the bathroom, and then, only moments later, felt Edward slipping back into bed. He tucked himself around her, his arm draped across her body. She wriggled back into him, delighting in the return of his warmth against hers. He kissed her shoulder blade and nibbled on the back of her neck.

"I love you," he said as he hugged her close to him.

Words, sometimes, seemed just so inadequate.

Bella smiled and squeezed his arm that lay across her torso. She twisted her head to capture his lips in a kiss but soon turned her body to meet his and threw her leg over the top of his hip.

"Thank you," she whispered, as she nuzzled his throat.

"You're welcome," he answered, smiling against her cheek.

Bella giggled.

Edward pulled her closer.

Bella relaxed and sighed.

"Are you tired?" he asked her, gently pushing her chaotic hair away from her face.

"Hmm," she murmured.

"Sleep then."

"You, too?"

"Yes. Me, too."

"I'm so grateful I have you," she said against his skin.

"And I, you, Beautiful," he said, kissing her on her forehead. "Are you alright?" he whispered against her skin. "You're not sore?"

"Uh-huh. I feel wonderful."

"You sure?"

Bella nodded her head. "I love you," she whispered sleepily.

"I love you, too," he said, smiling against her. "Now go to sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

"Mmm. Ok," Bella said, letting sleep begin to take her.

Moments later, however, with her tired, heavy eyes still closed, Bella spoke. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I know it looks all cuddly in the movies, but I don't think I can sleep like this."

Edward laughed. "Roll over," he said, as he pushed her gently away from him before spooning her and holding her close once more. "Is this any better?"

Bella smiled. "I think so. Thanks," she said, squeezing his arm and entwining her fingers in his.

"Anytime."

"'Night," she whispered.

"Goodnight, Beautiful."

And there, wrapped around each other, and both feeling more secure and more loved than either had ever felt before, they finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

AN:

This chapter has been seriously delayed because, basically, what I first wrote was so pitiful that my incredibly supportive and honest betas sent it back to me with a "you can't possibly give your readers this *_insert appropriate bad word here_* after making them wait 47 chapters! (OK, they were much nicer than that, but you get the message!)

Bottom line, they were right. I had rushed writing the original chapter because I have been extremely short of time and put myself under a lot of pressure to get something to you, my readers, without delay.

Thank goodness they stopped me from making a dreadful mistake. You have no idea how much I appreciate their honesty and how hard they work with me to make sure each and every chapter you get is the best I can write.

The downside was that the chapter sat on my computer for a further two weeks before I could find the time to look at it and edit/rewrite...life has been beyond crazy for me lately. Some of you who follow me on twitter or on the thread knew of the reason for the delay, but many of you may have thought I was AWOL...I just wanted to explain why its taken me so long to get it to you.

Following on the same line, the next chapter may not appear for several weeks. This is unfortunate and inconvenient to you, and I understand that...but my family's needs have to take priority at the moment and while I will continue to write as often as I can, with my young family starting school holidays, I can't commit to a fortnightly updates at this point. TTTB does have a way to go yet, and I am completely committed to "getting it finished" - I just need you to give me a little grace to try and balance my RL with my fic-life for the next month or so. Bottom line, right now, my kids need me, and they must be my priority. I will update as often as I can...that is a promise.

Having said that, and if you're not too upset with me, I would really appreciate your help. **TTTB has been nominated in The Sparkleteer Rare Gem Awards for Most Original Plot. **Thank you to whomever nominated the story. It is TTTB's first ever nomination and it is indeed a real thrill. **Voting closes 1ST DECEMBER.** There is a link to the voting page on my profile page and over on the thread on Twilighted(dot)net. I would be ever so grateful if you would consider voting for TTTB. Thanks to some incredible readers who have voted regularly, TTTB is just in front. After over 350K words, and 18 months of hard work, it would be a wonderful vote of support and acknowledgment for me and my betas. Thesparkleteerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com

Thanks so much for reading and for sticking with me and my fic.

I hope, after waiting 47 chapters for these two to finally be together, I managed to "get it right."

Until next time

Leisa


	48. Chapter 48

**Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it. Happy Holidays to those from other faiths who don't share in this Christian tradition. **

SM owns. I don't. But thanks to those of you who voted, TTTB did win "Most Original Story: Rare Gems" in the Sparkleteer Awards! Thank you! As a gift, I've gotten this chapter to you in time for Christmas.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 48 – Shared Understanding**

"Morning," Bella groaned, lying on her stomach while her head rested heavily on her pillow, her eyes barely open.

"Morning," Edward whispered back, sounding a lot more alert than she did.

"Have you been awake for a while?" she asked as she stretched her back and legs without lifting her head.

"A little while. Earlier riser, remember?"

"Mmm," she replied, closing her eyes.

"I take it you're not a morning person?"

"Hmm? I am on weekdays. Work 'n' all," she mumbled with her eyes still shut.

Edward smiled as he lay on his side and reached up to brush her hair away from her face. "But today's not a work day, is that it?"

Bella smiled, too, but still didn't open her eyes. "No. It's a Saturday."

"So it is," he replied, warmth mixed with a little humor evident in his voice.

A moment or two of silence fell between them before Bella briefly opened one eye and then shut it again.

"Are you always this happy in the morning?"

"Are you always this groggy in the morning?"

"You kept me up late."

Edward smirked. "I did that all by myself, did I?"

Bella smirked back.

"I didn't think so."

"Shut up."

"Why? I was kinda hoping for a do-over," he said, tracing the tip of one finger along her bare shoulders.

Bella smiled openly, but kept her eyes closed. "Stop that."

"Why?"

"'Cause I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Do you now?" Edward tormented as he traced his lone finger down the valley that formed along her spine, pushing the sheet down as he went.

Bella started to laugh quietly. "Stop it," she repeated again while attempting to swat at his hand.

Edward laughed openly. "You'd better make a move then or you'll have to delay it indefinitely," he teased as his finger retraced its path.

"Mmm. Tempting offer."

"Hurry up, and I'll tempt you some more."

"You drive a hard bargain."

"That's not the only thing that's hard."

Bella guffawed and finally opened her eyes for good. Edward was looking directly at her.

"So, that got your attention, huh?"

"I bet you you're all talk."

"Why don't you find out?"

"Ha!" Bella snorted into her pillow, and Edward laughed along with her. He was enjoying this playful Bella and their morning repartee.

"I dare ya!"

"Let me go pee first."

Edward narrowed his eyes at her in warning. "Don't take too long. Waste not, want not," he added, raising an eyebrow.

Bella leaned over and gave Edward a quick, closed-lipped kiss. "Be right back," she said before sidling out of bed. She was halfway across the room before she even thought about being self-conscious. Bashfully, she covered her backside with her hands as she disappeared into the bathroom.

"Too late," Edward called after her. "I saw it," he laughed out loud.

His answer was the unmistakable sound of the bathroom door closing.

Edward lay back on the bed and placed one hand under his head while the other absentmindedly reached for his morning erection. He was smiling like some goofy teenager while his dick twitched itself to attention under the sheets, and he rubbed it welcomingly. He thought back to their previous night's activities when Bella had once again taken him by surprise. The massage had been only the start of what he'd had planned for her, but when she'd more or less jumped him, he'd lost himself in the moment and went with it. Still, he was very proud of the fact that he'd been able to slow things a bit and given Bella her first orgasm before they'd really gotten underway.

Her second orgasm had been one he'd shared with her.

Now, this morning, with those particular milestones out of the way, he once again planned to take things a little bit slower. If he was given the chance, that is. His smile widened further as he remembered what had happened when Bella had taken control of his carefully orchestrated event. His hand continued to stroke his erection, the bed sheets tenting noticeably. The inner voice he'd heard last night – the one that sounded very much like Emmett – momentarily revisited. _No need to scare the lovely lady. _

Edward raised his knees in an attempt to camouflage the obvious while he again wondered why the hell his inner man was suddenly channeling his brother-in-law. Temporarily distracted from his reminiscing of the night before, he heard movements coming from the bathroom and what he was sure sounded like gargling. Having woken half an hour before her, Edward had sneaked out of bed and taken care of certain morning necessities a little earlier. Smiling wryly, he thought to himself, _Been there, done that, _and was considerably relieved to hear his own voice in his head.

Moments later Bella opened the bathroom door and hustled back to bed, jumping in under the covers and rolling on her side to face Edward.

"Better?" he asked, rolling onto his side and placing his arm lovingly across her waist.

"Much."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"I can't understand why it's taken you so long," she teased.

Smiling, Edward leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Morning."

Bella smiled back. "Morning."

Edward grinned. "That wasn't what I meant by a do-over, by the way."

"I certainly hope not."

Laughing, Edward closed in for another kiss, pushing her back onto her pillow in the process. "Hmm," he said, pausing between kisses. "Minty freshness."

"You, too. How long have you been up?" Bella asked, looking up at him and brushing away a few stray strands of hair from his forehead.

Edward just stared at her silently and raised his eyebrows.

"What?" Bella asked, more than a little confused until she thought back over what she'd said and slapped him playfully on the chest. "Oh, you! That's not what_ I_ meant, and you know it!"

Joining in her merriment, Edward laughed, too, before taking Bella by surprise and rolling quickly, pulling her on top of him.

"Whoa!"

"Too fast?" he asked, dusting her newly brushed hair away from her face.

"Not at all. I like rides."

"Do you now?"

Bella laughed some more. "Oh, for goodness sake! Shut up!"

"Kiss me then."

Smiling into his eyes, Bella placed a gentle, lingering kiss on his lips.

"Nice."

"Thank you."

"No. Thank you."

"Stop it," she giggled.

"Make me."

Bella kissed Edward again, a little more forcefully this time. It was a kiss that lasted considerably longer, too.

Breaking apart, Edward cradled her face after pushing Bella's falling hair away from her eyes. "I know we need to talk, but can we have sex first and then talk?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"More sex, Mr. Cullen?" Bella asked, tauntingly rubbing her pelvis against Edward's incredibly hard erection.

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Not at all. Sounds like a plan to me."

"Mmm," Edward replied before kissing her thoroughly.

Bella responded in earnest, pushing herself up on her knees and wriggling her already moistened center just out of reach above him.

"My, oh my, Ms. Swan. What's gotten into you this morning? Not that I'm complaining."

Bella actually sniggered at that comment. "Why, you, Mr. Cullen. You're getting into me…at least that's what I thought was going to happen."

"Shit," he laughed aloud. "I walked straight into that one, didn't I?"

"Absolutely, you did," she replied, smiling broadly and wriggling above him some more.

Edward's eyes twinkled as he looked at her. "You're in a playful mood now that you've actually woken up."

"Is that OK?" she asked him genuinely, stopping her movements.

"Of course! You're just constantly taking me by surprise. You're an enigma to me at times."

"What do you mean?" Bella said, pulling back to look at him more fully.

"Well, it's just…" Edward started, trying to choose his words carefully while rubbing his hands over her hips and thighs. "You're so relaxed and carefree this morning…"

"But…"

"At first, last night, you were just so…shy."

Bella instantly became reflective and spoke quietly. She pushed her weight back on her heels while leaving her hands on either side of his shoulders. "I was shy," she admitted. "It's a bit daunting, you know, getting naked in front of somebody for the first time," she explained as she began playing with the hair on his chest. "I mean," she added, giving a little shrug, "I know it wasn't our first time, but it may as well have been. For me, at least," she said, even more quietly.

"Sweetheart," he replied, soothingly rubbing his hands over her backside as she half-sat on top of him, "what happened so long ago, aside from Dan, of course, doesn't count in my mind."

Bella hesitated briefly before she responded. "I know," she said softly, still not looking into his eyes. In her heart, it didn't count either, but in her mind...the evidence was impossible to ignore.

"I mean…we have Dan, and for that I'll always be thankful but…"

Bella quickly leaned forward and silenced Edward with a soft kiss. She didn't want to rehash painful memories.

Edward kissed her back, his body instinctively responding to hers, but still, he was determined to put the past to bed once and for all. There were things that he'd never said, and he wanted it all out in the open and finished with, never needing to be dealt with again. He gently ended their kiss before turning his face and whispering against her cheek.

"I have no clear memories of what happened before. I've tried hard. But I don't," he said.

"I know," Bella replied slowly, acknowledging that heartrending truth.

"Can you?"

She shook her head. "Not really," she answered a little sadly, avoiding his gaze, her mind locked on events in the past.

"Hey," he said, lifting her chin and bringing her eyes to his. Bella pulled her lips into a thin line and offered him a tight smile. "What is it?"

Again, Bella shrugged infinitesimally. "I just wish I could, that's all," she answered while tracing the outline of his jaw with the tip of one finger.

Edward sighed and hugged her to him tightly. He spoke into her hair. "Me, too."

"The last thing I remember clearly is you playing your last set. We went out and had drinks by the pool after that, but then everything becomes very hazy."

Edward rolled them onto their sides, entwining his legs with hers, his erection temporarily forgotten. He lifted himself up on one arm and looked down on her while he traced her hairline with his free hand. Bella closed her eyes and relished his touch. He was so gentle and so loving. She wondered how she could ever have lived happily not knowing this kind of intimacy.

"I've always remembered you hair. It was long, and wavy, and very soft."

Bella smiled softly in memory and looked over to him. "I had a big set of bangs then. I used to tease them up so high," she laughed quietly, pulling at her hair. "I remember you tasted like cigarettes," she whispered. "You gave me one to smoke in the bar, and I spluttered like you wouldn't believe."

Edward smirked sadly. "I gave you one? I don't remember that either. That was my problem that night. I'd been smoking weed and drinking. Not a good combination. " With a start, Edward pulled back and questioned her. "Did I give you a joint?"

"No. I don't think so. It seemed like a standard cigarette to me."

Edward sagged and relaxed somewhat.

"Did you smoke often?"

"Cigarettes, yes. Weed? No. I liked the high, but hated the aftermath," he explained, his mind locked on events from the past.

Bella pulled her lips tightly again and looked away from him. _I was part of the aftermath_, she thought grimly.

Noticing her reaction, Edward was suddenly brought back to the present. Thinking over what he'd just said, he realized how she must have interpreted it and he reached for her, bringing her face back to his.

"No…no…no…no… Not _you_, the hangover aftermath," he said brushing his fingertips across bridge of her nose. "Although, I hated what I allowed to happen with you, too," he conceded, closing his eyes before opening them again. "But I was really referring to the combination of the weed and the drinking. It left me feeling like crap. I only did it a few times, but each time I swore it would be the last," he tried to explain. "And after that night with you, it was. I've told you that. You changed my life."

Bella tried to push away the image of a young Edward from all those years ago. _How different their lives could have been if only…._

When she opened them again, he was watching her intently.

"I love you," he said, kissing her softly on the lips.

"I love you, too," she answered when they broke apart.

"I'm never letting you go again, never forgetting a moment of the time we spend together from now on."

Bella nodded her head in reply, too emotional to speak.

"You're my present," he reinforced, rubbing his nose along her cheek, his breath enveloping her in spoken truths. "My future, my forever," he added before sealing that promise with a series of kisses along her neckline.

"You're my forever, too," she whispered as she arched her neck offering herself to him.

Hearing those words, those promises, cemented their relationship, and Edward's heated kisses, along with Bella's ardent response, fused their futures together from that moment.

Eventually, Edward pulled back to look at her.

"I can't change what happened," he started, trying to make one final apology for the years they had lost.

"Ssh…shh…" Bella uttered urgently, putting a finger to his lips to quell his current train of thought.

Edward shook his head slightly, determined to speak.

"Last night was the first time I made love to you, Bella."

Bella swallowed, her resistance to this discussion disappearing along with her voice.

"Before…earlier… when we were younger…that wasn't this…" Edward continued.

"I know."

"I want us. I want you."

"I want you, too."

"Not just like this," Edward insisted, looking into her eyes while he rubbed a leg against hers. "I want everything. The whole enchilada," he continued, tracing swirls against her skin with the tips his fingers.

Bella responded by pulling him to her and kissing him. It was a long, slow, deeply passionate kiss, filled with longing for a future she wanted as much as he did. She ran her legs along his as she pushed herself against him. She could feel his desire for her as surely as she could feel her burn for him to take her again and again.

"Make no mistake about it, Ms. Swan," he started while they took breaths between kisses. "I'm going to make love to you again, right now, and every chance I get from now 'til forever."

Kisses. More kisses.

_God. I could kiss him forever_, Bella thought.

_Not just kiss, either_, her sex-kitten reminded her.

_You got that right,_ Bella replied, trying to meld her body to his.

Bella sighed, an instant war erupting between her mind and her body. "We're supposed to be getting back to your sister's," she responded between kisses.

"And you're not going to rush me this morning," he continued, ignoring her comment as if he'd never heard it.

"Rush you?" Bella repeated huskily, more than a little distracted from the ardent kisses he was trailing along her throat.

"Uh huh. I get to take my time today."

"But what about your sister?" she reminded him again. "We're supposed to be back there in time for breakfast." As much as Bella wanted this, she was torn, wanting to make a good impression on Edward's family.

"I plan on taking my time this morning," he continued, still ignoring her. "And no jumping me," he added as he pushed her onto her back so his tongue could make its way down her chest toward her left breast.

"Is that what you think happened?" she asked cheekily, playing along, and when Edward began to suck on her aroused nipple all concerns for their punctuality at Alice's disappeared. _Who cares if we're late! _

"Most definitely," he said, moving his mouth to her other breast. "I'd planned quite a few things that never came to fruition last night because you were so impatient."

"Impatient?"

"That's how I saw it."

"So, how do you see things now?" she asked.

"I'm taking back control."

"Oh, Mr. Cullen. I think I like it when you take charge," she teased, wriggling her hips against a hand that was pinning her in place.

Edward smirked. "I hope so. Now, stop talking."

"OK!" Bella replied just before Edward attacked her breasts again without warning. "Oh!" she cried, arching in response. He reached up and pinned Bella's arms to the pillow beside her head as he worked at her breasts, his stubble gently but provocatively scraping her skin. "Oh, God," she said, squirming under him again as his body came to rest between her legs.

"Edward's fine," he teased. "You don't have to call me God when we're in private."

Bella couldn't help it; she laughed.

Edward tightened his grip on her hands, transferring them to one of his before rolling from her slightly and reaching down between her legs.

Pushing up off the mattress, she reacted to his touch instinctively, still amazed that she could react so sensitively to a simple touch.

"I'm going down there," he said without preamble. "And you're going to leave your hands exactly where I've got them."

"Oh," Bella exclaimed part excited and part nervous.

Edward looked at her face and narrowed his eye slightly.

"Don't you want me to?" he asked, his movements halting immediately.

"Umm. I don't know," she answered honestly, her teeth pulling at her bottom lip while her arms lay stretched above her head. She felt very exposed but very turned on in this current position.

"Why?" he asked her, trying to read her expression.

Bella closed her eyes. The words were there, but her courage wasn't; the slightest shake of her head displaying her uncertainty.

"Bella," Edward started slowly, understand finally dawning on him. "Hasn't anyone ever…?"

With her eyes still closed, her eyebrows knitted together, and she simply shook her head more deliberately.

Within mere seconds, Edward let go of her hands and pushed himself on top of her while supporting some of his weight on his elbows. He took her face between his hands and kissed her heatedly. He didn't stop. He kissed her and kissed her and kissed her.

Any thoughts of embarrassment or anxiety soon disappeared from Bella's mind. She could think of nothing else other than the feel of him on her, around her, in her mouth, against her face. She groaned and wrapped her legs around him, securing him to her; however, he wasn't content to be held in place for long.

With ease, and breaking their kiss, Edward pushed himself down along her body, making determined and deliberate progress to Bella's center with his lips and his tongue. A small throaty groan, again a mixture of pleasure with a little trepidation, escaped from her lips, but Edward ignored it. When he reached his destination, he ran his nose through her soft curls before letting his lips trail a slow but purposeful path further down.

Bella's hips rocketed off the bed when he connected with her so intimately. She was lost for breath and lost for words. Nothing could explain the feelings she had as Edward adored her with his mouth - his lips, his tongue and his breath creating sensations she'd only ever dreamed about. She opened her eyes and watched as the back of his head and his hair moved in time with his lips, his face hidden from her. She gasped aloud as her body responded, completely amazed that he could derive so much personal pleasure from doing this for her; the sounds he made removing any doubt from her mind.

Upon hearing Bella, Edward stopped and lifted his face from between her legs. She melted on the inside, her body aflame.

_Oh my God. It wasn't a dream. It was a fucking premonition_, she thought, realizing that the scene in front of her matched what she'd imagined the day before when she'd brought herself to her surprise multiple orgasms in the sanctuary of Edward's guest room.

With a self-satisfied look, Edward held her gaze as he bent to kiss the top of the juncture between her thighs before returning to his previous position. His hands went to her hips as he pulled her further toward him, succeeding in burying his nose and face more completely.

_Oh, fuck_, Bella thought again. Swear words weren't ever really in her repertoire, but certain times, she decided, called for certain measures.

As their lovemaking progressed, Edward alternated between his lips and his fingers as he brought her to two orgasms. Wasting precious little time, he then put on a condom and reversed their positions before finally pulling her onto him with a force that surprised them both.

Instinctively, Bella knew that with this man, she'd finally found her home.

She rode out her third orgasm, atop of Edward, and as he held her hips and thrust up into her, he watched in rapture as the love of his life came undone over him, crying his name aloud for the very first time.

It was then, in that instant, somewhere in the depths of her mind, Bella knew that there was no way she could ever again be content to live on the other side of the country. The technicalities would need to be worked out, but as Edward drove her to the edge of her reality and back, she came to realize that her life on the East Coast was all but over.

Exploding into her, his own orgasm cresting and freezing this moment in time, Edward watched her remarkable sexual beauty on display for him and him alone. His mind, completely in awe of his magnificent lover, screamed one word over and over again_. _

_Mine!_

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AN: Thanks to Lalina and Grendel for your continued hard work and support of me and my writing.

I'd love to read what you think, so care to leave me a review? We might actually even pass the 3K mark with this chapter with any luck.

_Next chapter's half written but will probably be an end of January update...I'm going away and also have family coming to visit...and with my 20 yo nephew sleeping in my study, my 5am writing schedule will disappear for a bit. For those of you who like teasers, I'll post one on the board over on twilighted. But for the rest of you, the next chapter is called, "More than One Reason to Celebrate"._

Until next time

Leisa


	49. Chapter 49

**Here you go, folks.**

**Kick-ass long AN at the end.**

**SM owns...**

**Enjoy...**

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**Chapter 49 – Reasons to Celebrate**

Bella and Edward were on the road and headed back to Alice's by just after eight-thirty that morning. They used the time in the car to continue discussing how they intended to tell Dan about the recent change in their relationship.

"Maybe it would be best if I just tried to get him alone for a minute or so today by myself," Edward suggested, not for the first time.

Bella shook her head. "I know you want to handle this man-to-man, but I'd really like to be the one to tell him, or at the very least, be together when we do."

"I know," Edward acquiesced, "but I just don't think we're going to be able to wrangle a lot of quiet time over there today, and I don't want to have to pretend we're just friends anymore."

"What? Are you planning to have your wicked way with me while we continue setting up today?" Bella laughed.

"Yes. On the tables, in the tent, by the bar," Edward joked, laughing and sounding very much like a scenario from the board game, Clue.

Bella playfully slapped his shoulder and laughed right along with him.

"Seriously," Edward said, looking briefly at her before turning his focus back on the road in front, "I want to be able to I hold your hand and dance with you and hug you if I feel like it."

"Do you think you'll feel like it?" Bella challenged, teasingly.

"I'll always feel like it," he said. Reaching over, he squeezed her thigh none too gently just above the knee and made contact with a particular nerve which caused Bella to jump in her seat. "And stop making fun of me. You know what I mean," he added, giving her leg a good shake before letting it go.

"But you've held my hand, and you've hugged me before."

"Yes, but this time it's different."

"I know that, but do you think Dan would pick up on it?"

Edward looked at her briefly once more. They were nearing Alice's place, and they still hadn't come to an understanding. "I know you say you're not nervous about telling Dan," he started, "but I'm really starting to wonder if that's true."

"Why?"

"Because you don't seem in a rush to tell him."

"Honestly," she replied, reaching for the back of his neck and massaging it gently with her fingertips. "It's not that. I just think that today should be about Cassie and her party, not her boyfriend's parents suddenly declaring that they've fallen in love."

Edward nodded somewhat reluctantly. "I get that," he said, turning into Alice's street. "I just don't want to hide what I feel anymore. I've been doing that for months already."

Bella's responding smile was a mixture of affection and regret. "If it's any consolation, I'll have to measure my own reactions as well."

Another brief look in her direction saw Edward frown. "I don't like that idea much."

"That makes two of us."

Edward pulled the car into the drive and parked. He turned to face Bella. "How about this then? If the chance presents itself, we find each other and tell him. If it doesn't, so be it. We hold off until tomorrow."

Bella again reached for him and tucked some imaginary stray hair behind his ear. "Sounds like a plan," she said, offering him a grateful smile.

"Good," he said, leaning over to give her a quick kiss.

It turned out not to be such a quick kiss after all.

"So much about measuring your responses," Edward laughed quietly when Bella finally let him go.

"That one may have to last me a while," she admitted sheepishly.

"Why do you think I suggested we don't bring our party clothes with us so we'd have to go back to the hotel before tonight," he said, raising his eyebrows.

"I like the way you think," Bella laughed.

"I hope that's not all you like."

"There are one or two other things I think are OK," she teased.

Edward kissed her briefly again. "We'd better move before we get caught making out like a couple of teenagers."

"Our cover would be blown then."

"Absolutely," he replied, opening his car door. "Come on, friend. Let's go behave ourselves in front of the family."

Getting out of the car, Edward closed his door and walked around to face Bella, who appeared momentarily frozen in place next to the door of her car. "What is it?" he asked.

"Rosalie," Bella said. For both of them, that one word brought back memories of the previous night's encounter at the gas station.

"Don't sweat it. She'll be cool."

"But I won't be!" Bella squeaked.

"Put your game face on. Here they come," Edward said as he looked over his shoulder toward the house.

Bella stepped away from the car and turned to face some of the members of Edward's family who were standing at the top of the stairs on the front porch.

"Morning," Jasper called. "We were wondering if you two were ever going to get here. Emmett's been eyeing the pastries Carlisle bought this morning for the last half an hour."

"Sorry!" Edward called back as he led Bella over toward the family while putting his hands in his pockets to avoid holding hers as they walked. "Bella slept in!"

Bella looked up at Edward in shock. "I did not!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, you did. I waited a whole half an hour after I woke before giving you your wake up call," he replied, nudging her shoulder deliberately. Bella opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it again. She could feel her cheeks heat up and was hoping like crazy that her face wasn't glowing red. She also hoped fervently that the rest of the family couldn't read between the lines of what Edward had said, and Bella immediately realized it was going to be a lot harder to play it cool than she thought.

Looking briefly at the group before her, Bella caught her son's eye and smiled at him.

"Morning, Mom."

"Morning, love," she replied as she walked up the front steps.

"Did you sleep well last night? Were you tired?" he asked as he bent to kiss her.

"Exhausted," she said, returning his kiss. "But I feel fine this morning. Ready for a full day's work," she assured him. "Morning," she added as she looked to Jasper, Alice and Esmé.

Everyone made their morning greetings and amid chitchat, moved into the house to be greeted by a bubbling Cassie. Her smile was as wide as Bella had ever seen it. Obviously, the excitement of the impending party was getting to her. "Happy Birthday, Cass," Bella said, giving her a hug. "I hope you don't mind, but I've left your present until tonight."

"Tonight'll be wonderful, but you didn't have to get me a present. "

Bella smiled in response. "Of course I did. You're my son's girl," she added with a wink.

More greetings were made to Emmett and Carlisle as they moved through the house toward the kitchen where the smell of freshly-brewed coffee greeted them.

"Coffee?" Rosalie asked by way of saying hello.

"Sure," Bella replied, Edward's hand briefly touching her lower back in encouragement as he moved past her toward the counter where Rosalie was pouring several cups worth. After distributing coffee all 'round, Jasper got down to business.

"Well, now that everyone's finally here…" Jasper started, eyeing Edward purposefully.

"Dude!" Emmett said, under his breath and shouldering Edward as he tried to sip at his coffee.

"Let's listen to Drill Sergeant Alice about what we've got to do for the day," Jasper completed while smirking at Emmett.

"Actually, everyone, before we get started," Dan interrupted. "Cassie and I have something we'd like to tell everyone."

The whole room turned to face Dan and a smiling Cassie as they stood side by side near the kitchen table. Jasper sipped quietly at his coffee. After a certain conversation he'd had with Dan yesterday, he suspected he knew what was coming, and he just hoped that Alice put her coffee down before she heard it; otherwise, mopping the floor would be added to their list of duties.

"We wanted to wait until everyone was here and… well…" Dan stalled, looking briefly at Cassie before taking hold of her hand and continuing. This was a big moment, and Dan was surprised just how nervous and excited he was. "I asked Cassie to marry me, and she said, yes. So, we're engaged!" he blurted out. It wasn't as smooth a delivery as he'd hoped, but gauging by the reaction it got, it didn't need to be.

A high pitched squeal, louder than anything Bella thought could erupt from someone so small, came from Alice, who, as Jasper accurately predicted, slopped her coffee onto the floor in her excitement.

"You're engaged?" Bella heard over the noise of half a dozen people all talking at once. "Oh my God," she heard as well, as everyone rushed to congratulate the couple. Bella felt Edward's arm come around her waist. He gave her a gentle hug and kiss to the top of her head, but she wasn't really paying attention to either gesture. Her eyes were focused on her son, the grown man now standing in front of her. _Of course, why hadn't I thought of this? _she thought. Dan was smiling broadly and receiving congratulatory hugs and kisses from members of Cassie's family. _He looks completely happy_, Bella thought next while she continued to watch her son, _and Cassie's glowing…glowing…oh she couldn't be…oh Dan… surely not… _

At that moment, Dan looked across and straight into his mother's eyes. Without hesitation, Bella closed the small distance that separated them and hugged her son tightly to her.

"Congratulations, love," she whispered as he hugged her back just as fiercely.

"Thanks, Mom."

Pulling back she looked at her son and smiled, completely amazed by how emotional she felt. Turning to Cassie, Bella let go of Dan and reached for her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. "Congratulations, Cass," Bella said, hugging her.

"Thanks, Bella."

Edward followed Bella's lead. He congratulated his son, and for the first time ever, gave him a hug. He then waited in line to congratulate his niece.

"Wow," Bella said as she stepped back, giving Edward room.

"I'll say," Cassie said, before she hugged Edward.

"When?" Bella asked as Alice came and stood beside her, linking her arm with Bella's.

"Last night," Cassie said, reaching for Dan's hand. "After everyone went to bed."

"Wow," Bella repeated. Even though she'd long known that Dan had intended to marry Cassie, she was still more than a little stunned that they'd gotten engaged so young. She'd thought it would be years before they would actually make this kind of formal commitment. Most young couples lived together these days before marriage. Bella had just assumed that this would have been their next step.

"Yeah," Dan said, his words breaking into Bella's thoughts. "I had a talk with Jasper yesterday, and once he heard me out, he gave me his blessing. Not that I probably wouldn't have asked her anyway, but it did make it that much easier knowing he was OK with it."

"You knew?" Alice shrieked, hitting her husband rather hard. For a little person, she had surprising strength.

"He cornered me at one point yesterday on the way out to the garage," Jasper said in his own defense.

"And you didn't tell me?" Alice shrieked again, giving him another hit for good measure.

"Hey!" Jasper said, stepping back and rubbing his arm. "It's not often I get to know something before you do, and Dan asked me not to say anything. He wanted to ask Cassie first. He did things in the proper order, and I wasn't about to go and spoil it. Besides, I grilled him enough about his reasons and his intentions, and he'd really thought things through and had all the right answers, so what's a dad to do? When his little girl gets a guy like that, I'd be a fool to say no."

The whole family listened to the exchange between husband and wife, and Bella felt immense pride in her son. The shock was wearing off, and hearing that Dan had managed to survive a grilling by his future father-in-law made her feel somewhat better.

"So do you have a ring?" Sammy asked her cousin in her usual blunt style.

"Ah, not yet," Dan answered hesitantly.

"We talked about it before," Cassie said quickly, interrupting. "And I didn't know that Dan was going to ask me last night, mind you, but we agreed on things a little while ago. I don't need a ring straight away," she said, rubbing Dan's arm in what Bella saw as a calming and supportive gesture. "Dan's got some money due to him from his grandparent's estate, and we decided, together, that we would rather use that money to help set ourselves up in a place than spend it on a ring at this point."

"Really?" Alice asked, sounding more than a little shocked. Her comment echoed the thoughts of most of the people in the room. Even Jasper was taken aback by this little revelation.

"Yes," Cassie answered confidently. "I don't need a ring to show we're engaged. We'd prefer to start our future together sooner rather than later, and the money we'd use for a ring will be better off spent on that."

"Oh," Alice said.

Her words echoed in Bella's head.

"We can always buy a ring later on," Cassie reasoned.

"But, Honey, you only have one engagement ring. It's something you keep and treasure for a life time."

"I know," Cassie said, trying to reassure her mother.

Dan was looking decidedly uncomfortable, but Cassie was determined to explain their point of view. They'd made this decision together a while ago when they'd first started talking about getting married. In fact, it had been Cassie's idea when Dan had told her that he'd need to save for a while in order to buy her a ring. Cassie had insisted that she'd rather be married than waiting around to be, but now Dan was wondering if it was such a good idea, gauging everyone's reaction to the news.

"But it's only a symbol of a promise, Mom," Cassie continued. "I'd rather have the wedding sooner than wear an expensive symbol showing it's going to happen sometime later."

"Yes, but Sweetheart," Alice started again, only to be nudged into silence by Jasper. He understood Alice's concern, but he also had Dan's conversation from the day before ringing in his ears. He didn't know that Dan didn't have a ring for his daughter, but the young man's heartfelt commitment to Cassie couldn't be doubted. They were trying to be financially responsible. Jasper couldn't fault that.

Alice's attempts to question their decision echoed Bella's thoughts. To her mind, it wasn't right that Dan didn't have a ring for Cassie. It was an important tradition, and with her mind a whirl, an unbridled thought popped into her head.

"Dan," she blurted out without thinking.

Everyone looked toward Bella, and unwittingly, she'd now become the center of attention.

"Um…" she hesitated. She thoroughly wished she had put her mind in gear before her mouth in motion, and now that she had everyone's attention, she didn't know how to proceed. Bella was feeling completely flustered. She really needed a moment alone with Dan, but it seemed that was going to be impossible now. Everyone was looking at her rather expectantly; Dan with worry written all over his face. Her mind flew into a panic.

"Bella?" Edward whispered quietly next to her. She turned and looked up into his eyes. His expression was similar to Dan's. She saw was a mixture of curiosity, concern and down right uncertainty. Bella felt his hand at her back, his thumb rubbing circles. _Say something_, she chastised herself before she looked back to Dan.

"Um…look. I don't want to say the wrong thing here," she started haltingly, "but…I really think that Cassie should have a ring."

"I know, Mom," Dan agreed, his eyes silently begging for his mother's support and understanding. "It's just that we want to get married. That's what we both agree is the most important to us. We were both hoping that everyone would understand our reasoning and that it wouldn't be such a big deal not to have a ring straight away."

"I know that, love. And I do understand what you've said," she answered, trying to put her son at ease, "but … well… there's no need for Cassie to be without a ring."

Dan continued to regard his mother; the expression he wore told her that he wasn't following her.

"Sweetheart, I've got your Nan's rings," Bella continued, finally getting out what she'd wanted to say all along. "The ones your Pop gave her. I've had them for years in a security box at the bank. I don't know why I've never thought of this before, but you should have them. You and Cassie can use them and do what you like with them…alter the settings… whatever…but there's no reason for you not to be able to give Cassie a ring." Bella said that last part looking directly at her son and speaking only to him. It was almost as if she'd forgotten that there was a room full of people listening in on their conversation. It was only when she heard Cassie gasp quietly that Bella remembered this wasn't a private moment.

Understanding gradually dawned on Dan's features. "Nan's rings?" he asked aloud.

"Yes, love. I mean, if Cassie doesn't mind wearing them," Bella said quickly, looking at Cassie and trying to make it perfectly clear that it wasn't something Bella expected she had to do. "I mean, you can change the setting, add to it if you want. But it's silly that they stay locked away in a bank vault somewhere. They should be worn, and I'm sure your Nan would be thrilled to think that you were giving them to your bride."

"Oh, my God, Bella. I don't know what to say!" Cassie exclaimed.

"I mean, you don't have to, Cass. Really, it's OK if you decide you don't want to. It's just an offer," Bella said, holding her hands up in a way that tried to show Cassie she wasn't going to be a dictatorial mother-in-law.

Cassie looked to Dan and tugged on his arm. "Dan?"

The whole room was silent as they listened to the exchange. Esmé even teared up a little, her emotions getting the better of her.

"Thanks, Mom," Dan said finally, his eyes locked on his mother's. His heart was beating at a million miles an hour. For the briefest of seconds, he'd thought his mother might have been objecting to the whole engagement, but to finally understand what she was offering the two of them left him lost for words and quite emotional.

Bella smiled warmly at her son. She, too, was feeling the emotions of the moment, and tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

"What do you think, babe?" Dan asked Cassie. "Would you like to wear my Nan's rings?"

Cassie smiled at her beau before turning to look Bella squarely in the eyes. "I'd be honored," she said, before letting go of Dan's arm and reaching to hug Bella. "Thank you. I promise I'll look after them."

"They're yours now, Cass. Do with them as you please," Bella said hugging her back.

"Aww…" Alice said, wrapping her arms around the two women in a three-way hug. "That's just beautiful," she cooed, her own voice choking with emotions.

"I'm just sorry I don't have them with me for you now," Bella said. "I might have thought of it earlier if I had known," she said, breaking the hug and leveling her son with a look. "In fact, I don't know why I've never thought of it before," Bella continued, a little perplexed. "It's been years since I've even looked at them."

"You've never worn them?" Alice asked.

"No. Never. I just stored them away."

Edward had stood by silently and watched the entire exchange between mother and son. Like his son, he'd been more than a little concerned when Bella had interrupted and was now relieved beyond words that his concern had been baseless. After listening to Bella, Edward realized he had the perfect opportunity to also offer something to his son. He just hoped that Bella wouldn't be put out by it.

"Um, if I can interrupt for a moment, I have something I can add," Edward said, breaking the conversation between the women. "Again," he said, turning to face Dan and Cassie, you don't have to accept this," he prefaced, " but I have my mother's rings, too…my birth mother's," he clarified, looking briefly at Esmé and smiling at her, not wanting to upset her in any way. "Maybe you and Cassie might like to combine both sets of rings and come up with an entirely new setting. That way, there'd be a little something from both sides of the family in a new ring; a symbol of both families coming together as it was."

This time it was Alice's turn to gasp quietly. "Oh, my God."

"Are you sure?" Dan asked Edward.

"Absolutely. If your mother doesn't mind me adding to her idea, that is," he said, looking to Bella.

A wide-eyed Bella looked up at Edward and silently shook her head. She didn't mind in the slightest. In fact, she could think of nothing better to seal the moment. Dan and Cassie were two very fortunate young people. Bella offered Edward a loving smile and reached for his hand, squeezing it in hers. Edward returned the gesture and smiled softly at her. They were, once again, on the same wavelength, and it made him feel immense pride in the strength of their new union.

"I didn't know you had your birth-mother's rings," Rosalie said from across the room.

Edward glanced over to his sister and tried to offer a brief explanation. "They've been stored away, just like Bella's," he said.

Rosalie looked thrown. Not ever being one to hide her thoughts, she uttered aloud, "But what about Tanya?"

Edward's eyes shadowed slightly. The briefest of memories flashed across his mind. It had hurt him a little, many years ago, but now he realized that there was a reason for everything in life, even if he hadn't understood so at the time. "Tanya had had her heart set on a ring we'd seen in a jeweler's window," Edward explained, not elaborating further and shrugging his shoulders slightly.

Esmé spoke up. "Edward, I think that's a beautiful suggestion. I know your mother would be thrilled," she said, remembering her former best friend with affection.

Edward looked gratefully at his adoptive mother. "Thanks, Mom."

"Uncle Edward…really?" Cassie asked. She was a little shocked by what had taken place in the last few minutes. She'd gone from not having a ring at all to being offered two family heirlooms.

"Yes, Cass. Really. I think I can safely say that Bella and I would be extremely happy if you were to agree to use our mothers' rings to create something special for yourselves."

Cassie began to cry. "Aww…" she said, reaching up to hug her uncle who, in turn, could only offer her a one armed hug. He still had a hold of Bella's hand, and he wasn't letting it go.

Cassie wasn't the only one crying. Esmé and Alice were openly teary and both their husbands wrapped their arms around their wives while Emmett hugged Rosalie to his side. She rested her head on his shoulder but was distracted, still processing how Tanya had never worn Edward's mother's rings. She'd always known that Tanya hadn't been the right person for her brother. She made a mental note to talk to Alice about it later.

Bella, in the meantime, looked to Dan and smiled at him. He moved closer and kissed his mother on the cheek. She squeezed his upper arm in return, for she, too, still held Edward's hand, and she wasn't about to let it go, either.

"Wow! What a morning," Alice said to no one in particular.

"I'll say," Carlisle replied, his arm still around his wife.

"I think a drink or two is in order," Emmett suggested.

"Champagne!" Sammy exclaimed.

The room spun into action.

"I'll get the glasses."

"I'll get the drinks."

"I'm not drinking champagne!"

"Fine! Have a beer."

"It's nine-twenty in the morning!"

"You're going to have champagne!"

"I've never heard the term 'Beer Breakfast' though, have you?"

"I had breakfast hours ago. This is like pre-lunch for me!"

And on it went, Cassie's 21st birthday preparations were temporarily put on hold while everyone celebrated news of her and Dan's engagement. Amidst it all, Bella and Edward stayed close to each other's sides. It was impossible to continue to hold hands, but for anyone who bothered to look, it was obvious to all and sundry that they were a couple – a look here, a gentle touch there, an undercurrent of togetherness, which was almost measureable and that kept pulling them back to each other as if they were magnets. Esmé and Carlisle watched their son with happiness. Alice nudged Jasper and nodded in Edward and Bella's direction as they laughed and spoke with Sammy, while Rosalie winked at Emmett in an, _I told you they'd get it on_, kind of way. The only ones who still seemed oblivious to the whole thing was the young couple of the moment. Dan and Cassie were too lost in their own happiness bubble to notice much of anything else.

When Edward left the joyous group and moved out onto the back patio to open yet another bottle of champagne, Bella went with him.

"Well that's made the day even bigger, if that's possible," Edward said, smiling at Bella as he tried to ease the cork out of the bottle.

"I should have known he'd propose," Bella said wistfully.

"How could you have known?" Edward asked.

"Mother's intuition? I knew they wanted to get married. I just thought they'd be a bit older when it happened."

"Does it upset you that they're not?"

"No. Not really. I'm worried that they're a bit young, but Dan's always been an old head on young shoulders."

"They've got their families' support, Bella. That'll be a huge help."

"I know."

"Offering your mother's rings was a beautiful idea, you know. Very touching."

"Your mother's, too," Bella reminded him with a nudge.

"I wouldn't have thought about it if it wasn't for you."

"I can't believe I didn't think of it long ago," Bella said, shaking her head. "I don't know where my head's been lately," she continued disparagingly.

"Ahh…you've had a lot going on these past few months," Edward reminded her unnecessarily.

"I know…it's just that…well, I'm his mother…I should have thought about this before now. If I had, Cassie would have a ring to wear tonight for her party," Bella said, a little sadly.

"Hey," Edward said, turning to her. "This is Dan and Cassie's decision. They were perfectly happy to be without a ring if it meant they could get married sooner."

Bella nodded her head. "Yes, but tonight, when everyone asks to see her ring, she won't have anything to show them. I just wish I'd known, that's all."

"Bella," Edward intoned. "Do you really think that couple in there is going to care if they have a ring to show everyone tonight? They're excited and happy, and can't wait to let everyone know they're in love and are going to get married."

Bella knew Edward was right and being logical. _What is it with men? Logical species they are._

"And speaking of which, we still need to tell Dan about us."

Bella raised her eyebrows and pulled her lips together.

"What?"

"I don't think we should tell him now," Bella said. "We can't rain on their parade."

"We could make it a double celebration," Edward reasoned.

"It already is! Cassie's 21st and her engagement. A girl only does those things once, hopefully…we can't crash the party!"

"So you're saying that we need to…"

"Wait until tomorrow; yes."

"That's another whole twenty-four hours away," Edward complained, unable to keep a whine out of his voice.

"I know," Bella said, rubbing his arm soothingly. "But we know, and we're happy, right? And we're grown ups here…we can wait just a while longer, can't we?"

Edward pursed his lips. "Why do you have to go and be so logical about it all?" Edward said grudgingly.

Bella laughed quietly.

"What?"

"I was thinking the same thing about you just a minute ago."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"We are a well-matched pair then."

"So it would seem," Bella said, reaching for the champagne bottle before turning on her heels to walk back inside.

"Can I kiss you before we go back in?"

"Not unless you can make us invisible – your sisters are watching," Bella said over her shoulder while smiling at Alice and Rosalie who were indeed inside and watching the two of them, conspiratorial smiles on their faces.

"Well, let's give them something to talk about," Edward said, catching up to Bella and reaching past her to chivalrously open the glass doors allowing her to re-enter the house.

"Oh, I think we've already given them plenty," Bella whispered as she stepped inside.

"Hardly," Edward replied, before pinching Bella on the bum, causing her to yelp and slop a bit of champagne on the polished floors inside the house.

"Taxi!" Emmett called from across the room while Alice and Rosalie laughed out loud.

Bella turned bright red.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Esmé asked, unaware of what had caused Bella's outburst.

"Yes, fine," Bella replied feeling embarrassed. "I just tripped."

"Sure you did," Jasper smiled.

Bella glanced quickly in Jasper's direction only to catch him winking at Edward. Bella then shot a sideways look at Edward and saw he was wearing the largest smile ever, and looked pretty pleased with himself. _So much for keeping things on the down low_, she thought.

And that was how much of the day progressed: lots of laughter, a glass or three of alcohol, some not so surreptitious shows of affection between Edward and Bella, multiple sets of watchful eyes who pretended they didn't really see what was going on right in front of them, and continued ignorance from both Dan and Cassie who were both so lost in their own excitement that they didn't process much of what was going on around them. All in all, the Cullen clan acted much like any other family when there was a secret to be kept– most of them knew but pretended they didn't, and they didn't let on to the ones who were out of the loop.

A brief break for lunch was interrupted by a raucous phone call from Chris back East in response to a message Dan had left earlier about his and Cassie's engagement. Chris was excited for his friends, but now thoroughly annoyed that he hadn't made the trek to California for the party. He spoke to both Cassie and Dan and even Bella before finishing the call. Sammy waved off the chance to talk to him, mentioning something about 'speaking to him later'.

It was late afternoon, just before five, when Edward, Bella, Rosalie and Emmett left the Whitlock house to head back to their hotel to shower and change. Going in their separate cars, they agreed to travel back to the party together in a taxi and arranged to meet in the foyer of the hotel at six. With precious little time, Edward and Bella rushed to get ready, Bella even having to press the dress she brought especially for the party. Earlier in the day, Bella had thought there'd be some time for a little hanky-panky before the party, but it seems that wasn't meant to be. While Edward was ready in record time, he slowed Bella's progress incredibly by constantly stealing kisses or feeling her up as she tried to blow-dry her hair and put on her underwear. In the end, he laughed along good-naturedly with her when she used her bossy voice as she threatened to make him sit on his hands on the bed. Promising from then on to only watch the show, Edward did, in fact, sit on the bed and behave himself. As a reward of sorts, she teasingly wiggled her ass and even bent over to put her shoes on, sans dress, taking the opportunity to flirt shamelessly with him as some kind of wicked payback .

After having to reapply her lipstick, twice, Bella and Edward finally made it down to the foyer just seconds ahead of Rosalie and Emmett. With their taxi waiting, they were back at Alice and Jasper's by quarter past six and had a drink in their hands by six-thirty as guests started to arrive.

The party was wonderful – a mixture of Cassie's young friends and older family friends and relations. Edward spent much of the night by Bella's side, introducing her to so many people that in the end, she just kept smiling and waving at people who would catch her eye during the course of the evening. Bella spent what seemed like half the night dancing. She danced with Edward, of course, Carlisle and even Emmett who seemed determined to make her "spin like a record" on the polished dance floor. She later suspected that he'd specifically requested that song when Rosalie told her afterwards that getting people giddy and wobbly on their feet was an old party trick of his.

When it came time for the speeches, Jasper and Alice spoke together and it brought a tear to quite a few eyes around the room as they spoke of their daughter's journey and their pride in her and the person she'd become. After Jasper and Alice, Cassie responded. Toward the end of her speech, she brought Dan to her side, and together, they told the partygoers of their engagement.

Everyone erupted in cheers and choruses of "congratulations", and rather than the speeches winding the evening down, like they can tend to do, Cassie's 21st turned into an impromptu engagement party.

Bella found herself being hugged and congratulated for the rest of the evening. At one point, and much to her relief, Edward escorted her onto the dance floor which gave her a break from the mental exercise of trying to remember everyone's names.

"Are you tired?" Edward asked her as he held her close.

"Not in the slightest. The whole place is buzzing. I feel like I could stay up all night."

"I could work with that," he said, pulling her into a slow spin.

"Could you just," Bella replied, smiling broadly.

"Mmm," Edward murmured, bending his head to nuzzle her hair. They danced like this for a couple of moments before Edward straightened and looked into her eyes. "Seriously," he began, "you've had a couple of big days and you go home the morning after next," he reminded her.

"I know," she said, rubbing his upper arm as they danced.

"We haven't talked about when we're going to be able to get together again."

Bella nodded, remaining silent for the next few bars of the song while Edward watched her closely. He saw her eyes light up as she thought of something and looked at him with a smile.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was just thinking that I could maybe hand deliver my mother's rings to Cassie," she said, her voice lilting just a little.

"What do you mean?"

"I've got a week's holiday the week after next," Bella explained, excitedly. "I could fly over again and bring Cassie's rings with me and stay for a week."

"What? Why the hell haven't you mentioned this before?"

"Give a girl a break! Things have happened rather quickly these past few days!"

"But a whole week?"

"Uh-huh," Bella replied, nodding eagerly.

"Shit! That's great!" With no thought at all, Edward leaded down and kissed Bella full on the lips, pulling her to him and holding her firmly by the waist. Bella wrapped her arms around Edward's neck and kissed him back. While their kiss lasted only a couple of seconds and went mostly unnoticed by anyone else, there was a certain partygoer, who not only noticed, but froze on the spot.

Dan had been on the edge of the dance floor sharing a beer with a couple of Cassie's college friends while Cassie and a group of girls danced nearby. He'd noticed his parents dancing together several times during the evening and hadn't really given it much more thought other than he was happy that they'd finally seemed to be able to put the past behind them and become friends. What he'd seen moments before, however, was definitely something more.

Dan stood still, the conversation around him becoming nothing more than background noise. He watched as his parents broke apart and hugged tightly before separating and walking hand in hand off the dance floor, making their way toward the rest of the family seated at a table toward the back of the tent.

Without preamble, Dan excused himself from his group of friends, and went to find Cassie, his mind spinning. He wondered how he could have not put two and two together before now, and as he searched the dance floor for his fiancé, his mind flashed a series of images as if on a frame by frame replay – hand holding, hugs, gentle touches, soft smiles, phone calls, emails. The more he thought about it, the more obvious it was. He couldn't believe he'd never noticed before now.

Finding Cassie, he pulled her by the hand and led her off the dance floor. Oblivious to what Dan had seen, Cassie was more than a little perplexed by Dan's serious demeanor.

"What's up?" she asked as he pulled her round the side of the tent.

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"About Mom and Edward."

"What about your Mom and Uncle Edward?" Cassie asked, her voice showing her confusion.

"They just kissed!"

"They what?" Cassie said loudly, trying to get her voice heard clearly over the noise of the music. She could have just sworn she heard Dan say that Edward and Bella had kissed.

"They kissed. I just saw them kissing!"

"Really? Where?"

"Out on the dance floor."

"The dance floor?"

"That's what I just said."

Cassie was a bit taken aback by Dan's abrupt tone. "Settle down! So they kissed. So what?" she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"So what?" Dan echoed incredulously.

"Babe. Hey. Settle down," Cassie said, trying to sooth him by rubbing his arms. "They're both grown ups!"

"But…"

Cassie frowned. "But what?"

"But…I…don't know… just…" Dan stumbled.

"Oh, babe," Cassie said, hugging him tight. "So they've got something going on…that's a good thing…yes?" she reasoned. "I mean, your mom's been alone all this time and she's met Uncle Edward again, and… well…maybe…it's just meant to be."

Dan stood there, shaking his head slowly from side to side, as if the action might actually help him make sense of the situation.

"You honestly had no idea?" he asked her.

Cassie shrugged her shoulders. "No. I mean…they've been a bit touchy-feely I suppose, but I just thought they were friendly…you know? Are you sure it was a kiss-kiss and not just a peck or something?"

Dan looked at Cassie. She got her answer.

Again, she shrugged. "It's no big deal, is it?" she asked him. "I mean…does it matter if they…" Cassie left her sentence unfinished.

This time, it was Dan who shrugged.

"What's got you worried about it?" she asked him directly, not beating around the bush.

Again, Dan shrugged.

"Do you have a problem with it?"

Dan frowned slightly as he thought about his feelings but then slowly shook his head. "I don't think so…it's just that…I don't want her to get hurt."

"Why do you think he'd hurt her?"

More shrugging.

"Why don't you go talk to them?" Cassie suggested logically.

"Now?"

"Why not?"

"'Cause it's your party."

"So?"

Dan shook his head.

"Hey! Listen to me! This is bugging you, and you don't even know what is going on with them! Go and talk to them. Find out."

Dan looked at his fiancé closely. She watched his face as he struggled with what to do.

"Go on!" she encouraged.

Dan still looked undecided.

"Go! And then come back and tell me."

"You won't come with me?" he asked her, a little shocked.

"They're not my parents!"

Dan rolled his eyes.

"There are worse things, you know…" Cassie intoned.

Dan looked at her quizzically.

"You know… having your parents fall in love with each other doesn't exactly rate in the top ten disasters of all time!"

"Who said anything about them being in love?" Dan asked, looking alarmed. He really was in a state of shock.

"Well…I…" Cassie said, finally at a loss for words, and raising her hands in defeat. "Just go talk to them. Find out what's happening."

Dan nodded his head. "Right. Yeah. Good plan."

_Phew_, Cassie thought. "And come back and tell me when you're done," she reminded him. In the meantime, she was going to target her mother. What Alice didn't know about family business didn't exist. "OK. So I'll see you in a bit, then," Cassie said, giving Dan a push to start him off.

"OK."

"Bye," she said, kissing him briefly on the cheek. "Go get 'em!" she laughed as she then pushed him ahead of her.

Dan half smirked, half grimaced as they rounded the corner of the tent back out toward the main crowd. He scanned the party and saw Edward over near the bar while his mother was sitting at the family table. He started to move toward the bar determined to get to Edward before he made it back to Bella.

Unaware of Dan's intention, Edward saw his son making his way toward him and paused, letting him catch up.

"Enjoying your party?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. It's alright. Can we have a word?" Dan said, cutting to the chase.

"Sure. Come and sit down," Edward gestured, toward the family table.

"Nah. Over here, if you don't mind," Dan said, rather formally.

Edward's curiosity was piqued. "Sure." Edward followed Dan's lead and moved to a spot to the left of the bar area. When they got there, Dan turned to face his father.

"What's going on between you and mom?"

Edward's eyes widened briefly before he could cover his reaction. "Dan…" he started, only to be interrupted.

"I saw you kiss her, you know…out on the dance floor before," he explained.

"Right," Edward said, stalling for time. _Bella wanted to do this together_. Looking across the party, he spotted Bella sitting at the table, talking with Esmé. Edward looked back to Dan.

"Well?" Dan insisted, somewhat impatiently.

"Your mother and I wanted to talk to you together," Edward started to explain.

"So it's true. You're together, then. Is that what you're saying?" Dan pressed.

Edward nodded his head. "Yes, Dan."

"When?"

"Just yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"Yes."

Dan thought about things for a moment. "So last night…"

"Last night is none of your business," Edward warned his son.

"It is too, my business. She's my mother!" Dan said, raising his voice.

Edward went to grab Dan's arm to calm him down, but with a drink in each hand, he found it impossible to do. He slopped one of the drinks onto the ground between them when he tried.

"Dan, calm down."

"When were you going to tell me?" he demanded.

"Tomorrow," Edward answered honestly. "We wanted to tell you today, but you and Cassie announced your engagement and your mother didn't want to rain on your parade, so we decided we'd tell you tomorrow."

This appeased Dan somewhat, but for some inexplicable reason, he still felt thwarted and a little upset..

"It is serious?" he asked finally and much more quietly than before.

Edward nodded. "I'm in love with her, Dan. I have been for months."

"Since when?"

"Christmas."

"Christmas?" Dan repeated.

Edward nodded again. "I've known since then that she's the one for me. It's taken us a while to get here, that's all."

Dan looked at the ground between them. Cassie's words ringing in his ears…_There are worse things, you know._

"And Mom?" Dan asked.

"She loves me, too."

Dan nodded his head as he processed what he heard while Edward watched his son closely. It was difficult for him to tell what he was thinking.

"Your mother's going to be upset you found out before we told you. That was never in the game plan. She wanted to tell you, first. She didn't want you to find out like this."

"Bit late now. You weren't exactly hiding it."

"We were trying, believe it or not," Edward said.

Dan looked up.

"Maybe not all that well, but we were trying not to give anything away."

"Who else knows?"

"Officially? Nobody. We haven't told anybody anything."

"But…"

"But we suspect a few people have worked it out."

"I'm officially a bit slow on the uptake, huh?"

Edward shrugged. "You've had a lot of other things going on," he offered honestly.

Dan shook his head. "I still should have picked up on it."

Edward could feel Dan's disappointment. He did the only thing he could think of to make his son feel better. He told him the truth.

"Dan, I love your mother. And she loves me. She's the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. We haven't worked it all out yet, but whatever the future holds, we'll be together."

"Are you going to marry her?"

"I want to, yes. I haven't asked her, yet, mind you, so don't go saying anything to her. But, yes. I want us to get married."

"Bit late, aren't you?" Dan quipped, a smile playing at the edge of his lips.

Edward breathed a silent sigh of relief. Just like that, the tension seemed to have passed; almost.

"You know, you and I will have serious problems if you hurt her," Dan warned, not mincing his words.

Edward gulped. Suddenly, his six foot, two inch son was a formidable presence.

"You won't have to worry about that. I don't ever plan on hurting her. I've waited my whole life for her. I'm not about to jeopardize anything."

"Good."

And with that, the tension, once again, dissipated.

Dan looked up and across to his mother. Edward followed his gaze.

"Why don't you come and talk to her," Edward suggested.

Dan shrugged slightly before nodding his head. "OK."

"Good. She's been keen to talk to you, although I suspect she won't be happy with me seeing that I told you without her."

"I'll tell her I coerced you into it."

"Well, that's not far from the truth," Edward agreed. "Come on," he encouraged, and with a gentle nudge to the shoulder, Edward allowed Dan to lead the way back toward Bella.

Halfway there, Dan halted and part turned to face Edward. "You promise you'll look after her?"

Edward looked his son in the eye. "On my life, Dan."

Dan offered a soft smile and nodded before turning back and closing the distance between them and his mother.

Bella saw them approach and her eyes instantly assessed the situation. They opened to the size of dinner plates and a silent signal from Edward, walking behind Dan, confirmed her suspicions. She regrouped just as Dan met her at the table.

"Hi, love," she said, from her seat and looking up to her son.

"Hi, Mom."

"Where's Cassie?"

"She's with some friends. Can I have a word for a minute?" he asked.

"Sure," Bella said, sounding warier than she wanted. A brief look at Edward, who gave her a wink and a quick smile, helped to lessen her concerns.

"Care to dance?" Dan asked her.

"OK," Bella said, rising slowly from her seat and stepping in front of him. "Excuse me, Esmé," she said before she turned wide-eyed to Edward.

Edward placed their drinks on the table and said, "I'll see you in a minute," before Dan escorted Bella onto the dance floor.

"What's that about?" Esmé asked Edward as Dan and Bella moved away.

"Dan's just worked something out," Edward replied vaguely as he sat at the table next to his mother.

"I guessed as much," she said before a moment later, chastising her son. "You really should have told him, you know."

"We didn't have the chance," Edward said, glancing to his mother. "We decided to wait until tomorrow and not take away from their news," he continued, trying to justify his and Bella's choice. After a brief hesitation, he asked, "Was it really that obvious?"

"A blind man may have missed it," Esmé replied casually, taking a sip of her wine.

Edward raised his eyebrows and turned his face to follow mother and son on the dance floor.

"He'll come around," Esmé said, trying to sound encouraging.

"I know."

"Let them talk it out. They're close. He'll be worried for her, no doubt."

"He's already made that abundantly clear."

Esmé reached forward and held her son's forearm. "You're happy, right?" she asked, giving him a shake and forcing him to look at her.

"Very."

"And you love her?"

"Yes."

Esmé smiled. "It's obvious to everyone, darling. Don't fret. Just give him time to realize that the whole world doesn't revolve around him. It can be a tough thing letting your parents act like grown ups."

"Mom," Edward laughed under his breath.

"What? It's true. I see it all the time. Children often prefer to think of their parents as asexual."

"Mom!"

"See what I mean? You still can't deal with it and you're twice his age!" Esmé laughed, slapping her son's arm.

Edward laughed louder this time before returning his focus to the couple still on the dance floor.

Meanwhile, Bella and Dan were dancing in silence. Dan didn't know how to start this particular conversation. He'd let his initial annoyance dictate the direction of his conversation with Edward, but knowing what he did now, he didn't know what to say to his mom.

Bella took the lead.

"So, what gave it away?" she asked.

Dan smirked. He couldn't help it. "Kissing each other in the middle of the dance floor was a pretty clear sign."

"Not too subtle, huh?" Bella asked, rubbing her son's upper arm in a motherly way.

"Not really," Dan agreed. "Mom?" he faltered, before trying again. "Does he make you happy?"

Bella smiled openly for her son. "Yes, love. He does. Very."

"He told me he loves you and has since Christmas."

Bella nodded her head in reply.

"Do you love him, too?"

"Yes."

"You were going to tell me?"

Again, Bella nodded. "Yes. In the morning. We didn't want to take anyone's attention away from you and Cassie and your news."

"You shouldn't have worried about that."

"We were. We still are. We haven't said anything to anyone."

"I know. Edward told me that."

"Are you upset?"

"About what?"

"That we hadn't told you."

"Yeah. No. A little, at first," he agreed.

"And now?"

"It's OK."

"And are you? With Edward and me, that is?"

Dan looked at his mother closely. To her, he seemed much older than his twenty-one, nearly twenty-two years. "What kind of son would I be if I was unhappy that my mother was happy?"

Bella listened carefully. She tilted her head to the side and leveled her son with a look as best as she could. "That doesn't answer my question."

Dan smirked. "I want you to be happy, Mom."

"And neither does that," she replied.

Dan sighed. "No. I'm not upset. I want you to be happy, and I don't want you to grow old alone," he said.

"Pfft. Thanks for that," Bella said, slapping her son.

"You know what I mean," he said, rolling his eyes. "You've been alone for a very long time, and it's cool to see that maybe that won't be the case any more."

"It won't be, Dan. I'm sure of it."

"It's a done deal then?" he asked.

"It's a done deal. We haven't talked about specifics, but yes. Edward and I plan to grow old together."

"Does that mean you're going to move here?" Dan asked, hopefully.

Bella smiled. "Yes, it does, love. But don't you go saying a word to Edward, yet. We haven't discussed it, and I don't want you to go pre-empting things. We've still got a lot to work through and sort out."

"OK. OK," Dan agreed. "Geez, who went and made me Secret Keeper? Soon owls will start flying everywhere."

"What?" Bella asked, sounding confused as she looked.

"Nevermind."

"OK," she said, looking at him weirdly.

They danced on for a minute before either spoke again.

"Does this mean that Edward and I don't have to go around pretending anymore?" Bella asked.

"Not that you did such a good job of it the first time," Dan reminded her.

"Point taken."

"But no. There's no need for you to be all secretive. There never was, you know. You could have just told me."

"You're right. I'm sorry. We should have just told you this morning."

"You could have told me yesterday."

"No, we couldn't have."

"Why not?"

"Because things weren't 100 percent certain, yesterday. At least, not before we left here, that is."

"La la la la la. I don't need to know specifics," he said, dramatically putting his hands over his ears.

Bella stood still and laughed out loud on the dance floor. "And I have no intention of telling you!" she chortled, slapping his shoulder. Once their merriment died down a little, Bella looked to her son. "Can we go back to Edward now and put his mind at rest?"

He nodded. "Sure."

Dan and Bella turned to make their way off the dance floor. "Oh, look! There's Cassie, with Alice," Bella observed as they headed back to their table.

Cassie was indeed standing behind her mother, and giving Dan a double "thumbs up" sign.

"What's she doing?" Bella asked.

"Reconnaissance and research, no doubt," Dan laughed.

"Huh?" Bella asked, wondering for the second time in as many minutes what Dan was talking about.

"Don't worry about it. It's cool."

* * *

AN:

Thanks to Lalina and Grendel... you two are gems...

I have two pieces of information I'd like to share with you. Those of you who reviewed the last chapter have seen this some of this:

1st) TTTB has been nominated in the "safe sex can be sexy, too" category at the Golden Lemon Awards. (www . goldenlemonawards . com) I'd love it if you'd stop by and vote for TTTB and any other of your favourite fics that have been nominated in the various categories.

2nd) Along with seven other Aussies (LadyBugs_mum, SydneyTwimum, Robrator, IvyandLime, CassieWH, Hannah81 and JadeAODradio), I am on the organizing team for Fandoms Fight The Floods. Please visit our blog (fandomsfightthefloods . blogspot . com) and take a moment to look at the wonderful authors who have agreed to write for our fundraiser. Then please, take the time to donate as little as $5 to the Qld Premier's Flood Appeal (link is in the blog). When you forward your receipt to the email you find listed on the blog, you will be added to the list of donors who will receive a compilation of fics from many different fandoms on the 1st March. Over 75% of Queensland, Australia, has been declared a disaster zone as a result of recent flooding. While my home was spared, my city, Brisbane, has experienced its worst flood in 35 years. Over 20 lives have been lost in the south-east corner of the state alone (and many bodies may never be recovered) as a result of what they are calling an "Inland Tsunami" that virtually wiped out two whole towns in the Lockyer Valley, West of Brisbane. Please help me, and our team, help the victims of this dreadful event by supporting our fundraising efforts.

Thanks for reading. We passed the 3K review mark last chapter, so thanks very much for your support. Wow.

And thanks to Heycarrieann17 who reviewed each and every chapter as she read in the last month... and to the special few readers who have emailed me recently and told me they read this mammoth fic, non-stop...some of them until 3am...wow x 2... that takes commitment. And to Sandy, Ady, Sunfeathers and Lalina who were among the first to review this fic, and are still with me, nearly two years later.

Until next time

Leisa


	50. Chapter 50

**Here you go, folks.**

**Important AN at the end of this chapter. **

**SM owns.**

**Original Characters and content of this story are mine. **

**Thanks to Grendel and Lalina.**

**Don't blink or you'll miss this chapter. After all, it's Just a Quickie! *wink***

**

* * *

****Chapter 50 – Just a Quickie**

"Go to sleep, Beautiful," Edward whispered as he held Bella's hand, kissing the back of it while they lay face-to-face in their bed back at the hotel. Tucking it under his chin, he gently ran his stubble over the back of her knuckles. "You're exhausted."

He was right. Bella was struggling to keep her eyes open, and even as he spoke, her traitorous lids once again fluttered closed without permission.

"OK," she concurred while squeezing his hand to acknowledge that she'd heard him.

Bella and Edward had left the party with Rosalie and Emmett just after one in the morning. Emmett had ribbed them mercilessly on the trip home about the way Dan had found out about their 'little liaison' as he phrased it. Despite that hiccup, Dan seemed genuinely happy about his parent's blossoming relationship, and the family's collective enthusiasm about their change in circumstances had been warmly received by both Edward and Bella. Once back at the hotel, they'd showered, gone to bed, made love, and had talked quietly in their little post-coital, private bubble for a couple of minutes.

Edward smiled as he watched her settle into sleep.

"Love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too," Bella uttered in return.

They were the last words the two lovers spoke until the morning.

"Was that Rosalie?" Bella asked as she walked out of the bathroom with her bath products in her hands. She'd heard Edward's phone ring while she'd been finishing her hair and makeup but couldn't make out the gist of the conversation over the noise of the blow dryer.

"Yeah," Edward answered. "She and Emmett are just about to check out and head back to Alice's. I told her we wouldn't be far behind them."

"I'm almost good to go. I'm just about done."

"Maybe we've got time for a quickie then?" Edward teased, sounding very boyish and very hopeful.

Bella laughed. "You're insatiable!"

"And is that a problem?" he asked, coming to stand behind her as she packed the last of her things into her bag. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"No," she sighed, leaning back into him and closing her eyes, enjoying the moment.

"I'm glad," Edward replied before bending to suck lightly on the exposed skin at the base of her neck.

Bella relaxed further into his embrace. "Don't go starting something you can't finish," she warned him.

Edward smirked against her skin. "Oh, I can finish alright," he teased.

"But didn't you just tell your sister we wouldn't be far behind them?"

"That's just semantics. Nobody's got a stop watch on us."

Bella turned her face slightly and sought Edward's lips with hers. They kissed slowly. Neither really felt the need to rush.

"I can't believe how lucky I am," Edward commented aloud when he finished their kiss.

"How lucky we both are," Bella corrected.

Edward smiled and kissed her forehead. In reply, Bella hugged his arms tighter to her middle. They stood this way, in silence, for several moments before Edward finally spoke again.

"So, are you used to the idea, yet?"

"What idea?"

"That you're going to be a mother-in-law soon?"

"Oh, God," Bella sighed, a little over dramatically.

Truth be told, her mind was reeling from a variety of events over the last forty-eight hours, and she hadn't really had time to stop and think about any of it in great detail.

Edward laughed. "It's a bit like that, isn't it? It's alright for you! I've just gotten used to the idea of being a father, and now what the hell am I going to be? I don't think there's a description for Cassie's and my future relationship."

Bella turned in Edward's arms and rested her hands gently on his chest.

"Maybe she can just call you Edward?" Bella suggested. "Drop the 'Uncle' bit."

"I'm surprised they still use it, actually," Edward mused.

"Maybe it's because they're girls," Bella thought aloud. "Dan's never had any aunts or uncles. I didn't either for that matter. The only child of only children," she went on to explain in answer to Edward's silent query.

"It's just been something the girls have always done," he said, shrugging.

"I like it," Bella replied honestly. "It's respectful."

Edward smiled at his beloved.

"Speaking of respect, I still think it was a wonderful thing you did, offering Cassie and Dan your mom's rings."

"It makes perfect sense. And besides, you're giving them your birth mother's rings, too. Now that was a wonderful idea – combining both sides of the family like that."

"Mmm," Edward said, "I thought so, too, and it was completely spur of the moment. I did it without thinking, really."

Bella eyed him carefully. She picked up a slight change in his demeanor. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"That's not true."

"Doesn't matter."

"Hey? What is it?" she asked, pulling back from him slightly. "You've gone all…" she let her voice trail off. She was struggling to find the right word to describe what she was sensing.

"It's OK," he said, brushing her concerns aside.

"No. It's not. Edward," she replied, her voice slowing and deepening. She wasn't prepared to have any holding back in their relationship. They were still on new ground, but they'd traveled a long way to get to this point, and she wasn't about to take a step in any direction that wasn't forward. She used the one phrase that had seemed to work well for both of them 'til now in order to try and reach out him. "Talk to me."

Edward pursed his lips and weighed up whether it was worth telling Bella his only regret thus far. He decided that he owed her the truth. "I'm just a bit disappointed in myself that I acted so impulsively. I mean," he tried quickly to clarify when he saw Bella frown in confusion, "I'm happy for Cassie to have my mother's rings. Don't misunderstand me…but it just means that I haven't got them to give to you." He looked her squarely in the eyes as he spoke. He needed Bella to understand where his head and heart were at this moment. "And I would have wanted to…give them to you…have you wear them," he finished, haltingly.

"Edward…" Bella whispered softly. "I…" She was at a loss for the right words. Sure, they'd agreed that this was a permanent relationship for the two of them, but they hadn't discussed anything beyond that and nothing at all about their shared plans for future. She was deeply touched but knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she didn't need a ring to showcase her devotion and commitment to Edward. She smiled at the irony of the situation.

"What is it?" Edward asked feeling somewhat confused. He'd just declared his intentions to Bella, and she was standing in front of him, a myriad of expressions passing over her face, ending with an almost wry-like grin.

"I'm just thinking of how weird life can be at times," she said, trying to explain. Bella regrouped before explaining. "I was just thinking that we haven't discussed what we want for our future, other than the fact that we want to be together, of course," she added, when she saw him about to interrupt. "And then, my first thought was, _I don't need a ring_, and I realized just how similar that was to Cassie and Dan's attitude yesterday," she finished, smiling up at him. "I mean, really, Edward, I love you. I don't need a ring to show my commitment to you. I'm yours. And my future will be combined with yours. Please. I appreciate that you would want to give me something so treasured, but I have everything I need. I have you."

"I want you to wear my ring, Bella. I want everyone who sees you to know that you belong to me. That we're in a loving, permanent relationship and that I put you first above everything and everyone else."

"I know that you do."

"But I didn't yesterday. I promised Cassie those rings."

"You promised those rings to your son and his fiancée. It was a wonderful thing to do. They needed a helping hand, and you were able to give that to them, and what you said about combining both sides of the family together was just perfect. Cassie will be able to wear a ring made up of stones and precious memories from both of Dan's grandmothers. It will be a priceless, treasured gift, Edward."

"I know."

"Don't second guess yourself or your actions. You did the right thing."

"But what about you? Beautiful, I want so much for us. I want everything the future can give us."

Bella kissed him. She pulled herself up to her fullest height and reached for his lips with her own. She kissed him because she wanted what he wanted. She kissed him because she didn't trust herself to form the words she needed. She kissed him because she finally felt completely and utterly home.

When their kiss ended, Edward looked at her and smiled. "I take it that you're OK with what I said?"

Bella smiled. She answered as honestly as she could.

"I belong here, with you. I am surer of that than I am of anything. For the first time in my life, home isn't a place…it's you. When I'm with you, I'm home. I can't explain it any other way."

Edward caressed the side of her face.

Bella could have sworn she saw his bottom lip tremble.

"I made a decision yesterday and then gave it some more thought last night. I hope you're OK with it," she added sheepishly.

"What decision?"

"I'm going to work through to the end of the school year and then move here to be with you and Dan."

"Really?" Edward's excitement was unmistakable.

"Yeah. I need to see through my commitments at work. Finish out the school year, and assuming you want me, of course, I'll move here over the summer."

"Woo-hoo!" Edward whooped, picking her up off her feet and twirling with her in the cramped space of their hotel room.

Bella laughed. "I take it you're OK with that then?"

Edward put Bella's feet back on the floor in a hurry. "I'll be honest with you. I'd prefer not to have to wait three or four months for it to happen, but hell yeah. If it means a lifetime with you and our son, here, surrounded by family, a few months are nothing."

"I'll have to finish the semester. It's not fair to the kids or their families," Bella explained, wanting him to understand.

"I know. I get that. I know how committed you are to your kids," he agreed. "But I'll be there, the day you finish, to help you pack up and move over here."

"Deal. I can work with that," she said, smiling widely.

"OK, then," he said grinning madly before suddenly turning serious. "But there's one condition," he said, pulling back from her slightly.

"What?" Bella eyed him suspiciously.

"You let me buy you a ring. I don't want you leaving here without some kind of sign for the rest of the men out there that you are officially off the market."

"You're incorrigible."

"And insatiable, apparently, and yet absolutely determined to get my own way on this one."

Bella shook her head at him. She loved this man who was beaming his happiness at her.

"Can I suggest a compromise?"

Edward narrowed his eyes at her.

"Suggest? Yes. But that doesn't mean I'll agree to it."

"OK, Mr. Bossy Boots. Look at you," she teased. "All business and such."

"Your compromise, lady?" Edward insisted.

Bella chose her words carefully. "How about we leave anything as formal as a ring until I move here? Don't you think one engagement in the family is enough at the moment? I mean, Dan and Cassie only just got engaged yesterday. Let them have their time in the spotlight for a bit."

"I can't hear a compromise at all in what you're suggesting so far."

"Let me finish!" she scolded.

"Go on."

"If you want me to wear something, how about a necklace or bracelet or earrings or something like that? You and I will know what it symbolizes, and it can be our little secret for just a while longer."

"But nobody else will know," he argued.

"Make it as ostentatious as you like," she said, throwing her arms in the air and laughing at him. "As long as it isn't inscribed with _Property of Edward Cullen_, I'll wear it."

"That's not a bad thought," he said, scratching his chin, pretending to consider the suggestion.

"Oh, hardy, har, har," she joked. And besides, I don't want to be wearing a ring until Dan and Cassie have theirs sorted out, at least, and that may take a month or so. It's only fair."

"And I haven't actually proposed to you, yet," Edward said wryly.

"This is true."

"So, I suppose I could hold off until we get a few of the fundamentals out of the way."

"Like a proposal?" she teased.

"For one."

"OK. So, do we have a deal?"

"I believe you may have brokered yourself a contract, Ms. Swan."

"Indeed."

"So…the terms… I get to buy you something that you'll agree to wear. It can be anything I like…to use your words…as_ ostentatious _as I like…and from this moment on, we agree to be secretly betrothed to the other until such time as I formally propose at what would be considered a more suitable time that won't take the spotlight away from our son and his fiancée. Do I have that correct?"

"In a nutshell? Yes."

"I can live with that."

"And I will move here to live with you."

"Before marriage?" Edward joked, his hand over his heart, feigning shock.

"I think we can safely say that we put that particular cart before the horse a very long time ago."

Edward laughed out loud. "I love you, the secretly soon-to-be-the-future Mrs. Cullen."

"I love you back," Bella said, reaching up to squeeze him tight.

Edward lifted her off the ground in a bear hug reminiscent of Emmett's unusual style.

"How about that quickie?" he whispered in her ear.

Bella laughed. "How quick can you be?" she teased.

"That should so not turn me on," he chortled, shaking his head. "But I'm more than willing to find out!"

With that, Edward turned and tossed Bella onto the bed. She squealed in delight.

"Ready, set…Go," Edward whispered huskily as he crawled his way up the bed to her. "Thank God you're wearing a skirt."

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AN: As I post this chapter, Queensland is bracing itself for yet another onslaught of mother nature within the next 12 hours. Tropical Cyclone Yasi is bearing down on the North Queensland coast. It is a Category 5 storm, with winds exceeding 300 kms/hour. It has a diameter greater than 500kms, and will cause extensive damage to more than a third of the Queensland coastline. As you know from my previous AN in chapter 49, already, over 75% of my state has been declared a disaster zone. This storm is likely to decimate what is left. Communities 6 hours west of the coast are expected to be hit by an inland cyclone of Category 2 level...a situation here that is almost unprecedented.

If you haven't already committed funds to the flood appeal being supported by Fandoms Fight the Floods... please consider doing so now. I have no doubt that the current repair bill for the state of Queensland, already exceeding $5billion, will blow out with this latest disaster. Every cent that is raised goes into the Queensland Premier's Relief Fund - and that money will go directly to Queenslanders in desperate need. The link is in my profile.

Until next time

Leisa


	51. Chapter 51

**Ahem... testing... one, two, three... ahem...**

**Ok... where did I put that cobweb brush?**

**OH! here it is...**

**and here is the latest chapter of TTTB...**

**AN at the end.**

**Thanks to Lalina, Grendel and Sandyk199**

**and thanks for waiting...**

**on with the de-cobwebbing... I mean... the story...**

**where were we?**

**Oh, yes, the morning after the party... after a little quiet one on one time... (which means that our happy, recently outed couple have arrived late for post-party cleaning)**

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**Chapter 51 - Planning the Future**

A mid-morning break from post-party cleaning saw the tight-knit family in Alice and Jasper's kitchen. They were sipping coffees and nibbling on donuts that Edward and Bella had picked up as a cover for their later than expected arrival. Conversation flowed effortlessly as they reminisced about the party, and talk had inevitably turned to partygoers' reactions to Dan and Cassie's surprise announcement. That conversation lead to Sammy innocently asking her cousin if she and Dan had given any thought to when they wanted to get married.

"You want it when?" Jasper exclaimed.

"June, Dad. "

"As in this year?"

"Yeah," Cassie answered, looking back and forth between her parents.

"That's only a couple of months away," Esmé said, chipping into the conversation.

"Four," Edward corrected quickly. He knew exactly how far away June was. He'd calculated the time until Bella would join him on the West Coast almost down to the number of days.

"We haven't even finished cleaning up from your twenty-first yet," Jasper reasoned, trying to come to terms with what he was hearing. "And I think your mother's gone into shock. She hasn't said a word," he added, looking to Alice and hoping for backup.

It was true. Alice was sipping silently on her coffee. She hadn't reacted outwardly to Cassie's declaration at all; however, her mind was racing at a million miles per hour.

"What's the rush, anyway?" Jasper continued, seeing that Alice had not taken the bait he'd just dangled. "There's no need for you to rush, is there?" he asked, staring directly at Dan. _If that little bastard's been lying to me…_

"No, Dad!" Cassie replied, a little too loudly.

"No, Sir," Dan answered, almost simultaneously.

"It's just that June is such a lovely time of year, and to wait until the following year just seems too far away."

"It's not really all that far away," Jasper argued, looking once again to Alice for some kind of support. "Fifteen months, give or take, is nothing in the scheme of things."

"June is a lovely time for a wedding," Esmé piped-up again. "We were married in June," she continued, turning to look at Carlisle and squeezing his hand affectionately.

"My parents were married in June, too," Bella said, finally joining the conversation.

"The beach would be wonderful that time of year," Sammy weighed in, adding her support.

"That's what we were thinking," Cassie replied gratefully before, once again, turning to her parents.

"The beach? You want a beach wedding?" Jasper asked.

Cassie nodded.

"Something simple and plain; nothing over the top."

"Just immediate family and friends. No more in number than what was here last night," Dan concurred.

Alice put her coffee on the table in front of her and looked to her husband. "Sunset over the water at that time of year would be a lovely setting."

Cassie smiled conspiratorially at her mother. In that moment, Cassie knew that her mother was on her side, and Jasper, with an almost inaudible sigh, came to the realization that his concerns, no matter how he raised them, would, more than likely, fall on deaf ears.

"June," he said aloud before taking a sip of his coffee. Instantly, an image of a freight train with the word "Wedding" painted along its side came to mind. Prior to this moment, he'd naively thought that it would stay safely corralled at some imaginary station for some time to come; that there'd be no need to set the wheels in motion for a while. Now, however, he realized that it was already chugging along toward him and would soon be at full steam. His daughter, his pride and joy, would soon be on it and gone from his home forever. Jasper swallowed hard and winced as the hot coffee hit the back of his throat. For him, the _idea_ of Cassie getting married was fine, but the reality of it was another thing altogether. He looked at his daughter standing next to Dan and realized all this wedding talk really meant that his little girl was all grown-up. He wondered wistfully where all the years had gone.

"When did you two decide on this?" Edward asked Dan and Cassie. Silently, he, too, wondered if June was just a little too soon. Dan had only just moved west.

"After the party; when we went to bed," Cassie said quietly.

Jasper pursed his lips before draining what was left in his coffee cup in one go. While, after considerable persuasion from Alice, he might be resigned to the fact that Dan now shared Cassie's bed when he came to stay, it didn't mean he had to like it.

"Do you really think you can get a wedding organized in just a few months?" Edward asked.

Bella watched the conversation closely. Inwardly, she was a little concerned that things might be happening way too quickly, and she was glad that Edward was asking questions that she didn't yet feel comfortable enough to raise in front of his family.

"We think so," Dan said, sounding confident.

"It's not like we want some big, over-the-top wedding, Uncle Edward," Cassie answered, looking first at Edward and then at her parents. "We just want something simple and elegant. Close friends and family. We managed to pull this party together in just a couple of days, and there are still months before June comes around."

"But sweetheart, weddings are much more complicated than twenty-firsts," Rosalie said. "There are the licenses, a reception venue, dresses, flowers, stationery…the list just goes on and on."

Jasper was nodding his head emphatically and blessing Rosalie's gray-concealing, gold highlights at this point.

Emmett noticed Jasper's enthusiastic head bobbing and was feeling sorry for the poor bastard. He was looking more and more like a deer caught in headlights.

"But not if we keep it simple," Cassie reasoned.

"And what do you envision by keeping it simple?" Esmé asked.

Cassie shrugged. It was a small habit she'd picked up from Dan. "Well, just a ceremony on the beach, maybe finger food and canapés afterwards. Music and dancing into the night…" she answered, her voice trailing off when she caught her father's facial reactions.

"No daughter of mine is going to have finger food served at her wedding," he said, almost under his breath.

"But Dad," Cassie began. "We want to keep it simple. No big sit down, stuffy, formal meal in a reception house or anything like that."

"And I suppose you'll all be having people turn up wearing flip-flops," he countered.

"Jasper!" Alice said.

"What?" he answered, letting his concerns about the swift-flowing conversation pervade his tone. "It's her wedding, for goodness sake! It's not some shin-dig or hoe-down where everyone brings their own chairs!"

"I'm not suggesting that!" Cassie argued, her voice rising.

"Jasper!" Alice said again, reaching for his hand to calm him. "I don't think that's what they're suggesting either," she reasoned quietly, trying to support both sides of the argument. "But I think I can see what they're getting at," she continued, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. "Something simple but classic. A mixture of traditional and modern touches, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes," Cassie agreed wholeheartedly, grateful for her mother's support.

Alice continued. "Summer colors, tables with centerpieces of fresh flowers and miniature balloons, people milling on the lawn, drinks in hand, waiters serving trays of food," she said, creating a visual that she guessed would appease both her daughter and her husband. "Men in shirts and ties, women in summer dresses..."

"That sounds lovely," Esmé encouraged, her mind filled with the romance of her first grandchild's wedding.

"And where would you think of creating such a scene?" Jasper asked, eyeing Alice deliberately, expecting full well that she would already have a particular setting in mind.

"Edward's place," Alice said without preamble and looking directly at her brother.

"That would be perfect!" Cassie exclaimed.

All eyes turned to Edward.

Without a word, he simply raised his eyebrows and nodded his head, acknowledging the suggestion. What else could he do? His son wanted to get married. His sister wanted his support. If Jasper had shared aloud his vision of the wedding train, Edward could have related easily.

"Are you sure you're OK with that?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah," Edward replied, understanding that as a father, despite his fairly recent foray into parenthood, supporting his son was his responsibility. "I mean, the groom's my son," he said, catching Dan's eye, "and I'd like to do whatever I can to help him and Cassie chase their dreams. So, if they want a location for a beach wedding, that's something I can definitely help with."

Cassie wrapped her arms around Dan while she beamed at her uncle. This whole impromptu wedding discussion appeared to be making real headway. For her, it was thrilling to watch it unfold.

"You know, there are some nice restaurants out Edward's way," Rosalie injected, thoughtfully. "Maybe we could move onto one of those restaurants after the less formal post-wedding drinks and canapés at Edward's…that is if you wanted to have a slightly more formal kind of meal afterwards without it having to be like a traditional reception," she reasoned, looking between Jasper and Cassie. It was hard work trying to appease both sides of the discussion. She wished, for the first time, despite this morning's hangover, that she had a glass of champagne in her hand instead of the sensible coffee.

"Now there's an idea," Carlisle said, making his first contribution to the discussion to date. He was a traditionalist. While he had moved with the times as best he could, he had to admit he sided with Jasper on this one.

"We'd have to see if any of the restaurants could cater for something like this on such short notice. We'd need to book a place out for the night," Jasper reasoned.

"We'd have to have a date to make those kinds of enquiries," Alice agreed.

"We'd have to set a date," Rosalie agreed, looking to Cassie and Dan.

"Oh, my God, we've got to choose a date!" Cassie squeaked.

"Shh," Dan whispered, trying to calm his fiancée down while automatically reaching for his phone from the back pocket of his shorts.

"A date!" Esmé repeated excitedly. "Carlisle, darling, would you please get me my planner from my bag? It's upstairs in our room."

Smiling at his wife, Carlisle kissed her temple before silently leaving to do as he'd been asked. He loved seeing his wife so excited over the impending nuptials. _Cassie's getting married_, he mused as he made his way up the stairs, and he couldn't stop the smile that spread over his face as he thought about the joy that such an event would bring to his family.

Upon returning to the table, Carlisle looked around the room and noticed that everyone was busy studying various technological devices – iPhones, Blackberries, iPads – and he once again was reminded just how different the modern world was to the world of his youth. He looked in his hand at the worn leather planner that Esmé still preferred to use. Sure, each year, a new calendar insert would find its way into it, but the leather cover had been a treasured gift from a former client of hers many years before. It had stood the test of time and years worth of use. Carlisle wondered if the same would ever be said about the pieces of modern technology to which his family seemed all so devoted.

"We could do early June," Alice was saying.

"An afternoon wedding is always practical," Rosalie commented.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd prefer if it wasn't in early June," Bella said, speaking quietly. "It's just that…" she continued hesitantly, "well…" Although she had no reason to feel so, Bella was still a little overwhelmed whenever the entire Cullen family focused their attention on her at any one time, as they were doing at the moment.

"What is it, Bella?" Esmé asked, encouragingly.

"Well…" Bella started again. "Edward and I have been talking, and I've agreed to move here to the Wst Coast once this semester is over, and I –"

Bella didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. The start of it alone had been enough for Dan to whoop excitedly and the whole Cullen family to join in immediately afterwards with similar exclamations.

"You're moving here?"

"That's wonderful! Congratulations!"

"Geez, bro… you sure haven't wasted any time this time 'round!"

"That's wonderful, Bella!"

"When?" Cassie asked amid the chaos.

"Umm…" Bella began hesitantly, but smiling broadly, "we haven't really set a date, yet…just after I've finished my commitments at school for this last semester," she added, shrugging apologetically.

"Mom, that's great!" Dan said, coming round to his mother and hugging her tight. "Really great."

"Thanks, love," she added, returning his embrace.

"Wow," he said, pulling back and looking at Edward. "So, have you got anything else you need to tell us?" he asked, catching his father's eye and remembering their conversation from the party the night before.

"No. We've barely discussed this in any more detail than what you all now know," Edward answered while reaching for Bella's hand.

Bella gratefully held on to Edward's hand and squeezed it, showing her appreciation. He was so sensitive to her emotions, and she was buoyed by now regular displays of affection in front of his family. "It's just that, with me moving here, everything's going to be a bit crazy, and I'd really like to be a part of the final wedding preparations if I can," she said, addressing everyone before looking directly at Cassie and Alice in turn. "And I doubt I could be out here before the first week in June at the earliest."

"Oh, that's fine," Alice agreed, waving her hands briefly in the air, thereby dismissing her original suggestion of an early June wedding. "And of course we'd like you to be involved in everything for the wedding," she said, smiling at Bella before consulting her blackberry once again. "Well, if not early June, what about the 19th? That would make it the third Saturday in June."

"It might be tough booking out a restaurant at such short notice for a Saturday night," Rosalie said, being forever practical.

"Who said weddings have to take place on a Saturday, anyway?" Sammy asked.

"They don't," her mother agreed. "We could always make it the Friday night?"

"Or the Sunday," Dan suggested. "What's wrong with a Sunday morning wedding?"

"A morning wedding?" Cassie asked, looking at her fiancé as he stood next to his parents.

"Why not? Not real early or anything," Dan reasoned. "11 o'clock, midday…something like that? It still gives people plenty of time to party afterwards."

"Well, what about the Sunday then?" Cassie asked the group.

"The 20th?" Esmé asked. "No. No good," she continued, shaking her head. "That's Father's Day."

"Oh, so it is," Alice concurred.

"And Edward's birthday," Esmé commented.

Bella looked up quickly from her phone and glanced briefly at Esmé before catching Edward's eye. It would prove to be one of those moments in time that neither she nor Dan would ever forget. At that moment, both realized that neither had known the date of Edward's birthday, and it came as a shock. Neither of them had ever bothered to find out this little detail in the preceding few months as they'd come to know Edward better. For her part, Bella felt completely embarrassed. Here she was in love with the man, and she had no idea when his birthday was. As for Dan, he wondered how he could have come to learn so much from either his research or in all the time he'd spent with Edward since, and yet miss out on something as basic as asking, _Hey! When's your birthday?_

"The 20th is your birthday?" Bella asked him quietly.

Edward smiled at her and simply nodded in reply.

Bella turned the deepest shade of red and again berated herself silently for never having bothered to ask. Edward squeezed her hand reassuringly and then had a quiet laugh to himself. He realized that he didn't know when Bella's birthday was either. He thought it a wry moment and quite funny.

"We really shouldn't have it on that weekend at all. Some people travel for Father's Day weekend," Rosalie said, more or less ignoring the exchange.

"Good point. Scrap that weekend."

"Well, that leaves us the weekend of the 25th. Do we go for a Friday or Sunday then, assuming that Saturday's are out?" Rosalie asked.

"Friday."

"Sunday."

Alice and Jasper had spoken at the same time. They looked at each other and Jasper smiled knowing already that his suggestion would probably be overruled.

"Why the Friday?" he asked her.

"Because sunset over the water would be a beautiful backdrop. We could have the wedding sometime after six," Alice said, thinking aloud, "and then drinks and canapés as the sunset before moving on to one of the restaurants for dinner afterwards."

Jasper nodded his head thoughtfully. His wife was always so quick with the visuals. And here he'd been thinking that summer and the beach would mean a daytime wedding. "And that Friday would be OK with you?" he asked, looking at Edward.

Edward caught Bella's eye, and she nodded. "It's fine with us," Edward replied, including Bella in the decision.

Jasper took another moment to weigh up the pros and cons in his mind_. Any date is too soon for my little girl to get married,_ he thought. _Too bad I've already agreed to it._ Finally, he said aloud, "So, does this mean we have a date?"

Cassie looked excitedly from her parents to Dan and back again.

"I think we have a date," Dan agreed. He crossed the floor and picked Cassie up off the ground in a huge bear hug.

_We have a date_! she gushed quietly against Dan's chest.

The young couple's family looked on, and smiled at their obvious happiness.

"We have a date," Jasper repeated.

"Yes, we do," Alice said, holding her husband's hand and squeezing it hard. That simple action expressed more than either were able to say aloud at this point. For them, that date would signify a significant change in their small family's journey. It was a poignant moment.

Edward and Bella, too, were moved by the decision. Edward leaned over and kissed Bella on the lips. This emotional journey, and all the others to come, they would now share together. Bella smiled through a stray tear or two of happiness, and Edward gently brushed them away as they continued to stare at each other, committing this moment to memory.

All three couples were watched by the other members of their family. No one was oblivious to the emotions that were being expressed.

"I'm over coffee! There's got to be more champagne around this place somewhere!" Sammy declared eventually, breaking the spell that had settled upon the room. She was definitely her mother's daughter.

"What is it with women and champagne?" Emmett asked. "You want a beer, Jaz? Dad? Edward?" he asked, searching out the men around the room. "Dan? What about you? Or are you one of these new-age-sensitive guys that the girls all swoon over these days?"

"I'm in for a beer!" Jasper answered.

"Me, too," Edward and Carlisle answered simultaneously.

"New-age-sensitive guys were so the 90s, Emmett," Esmé chided.

"I'm in for a beer!" Dan replied.

"I'll get some glasses," Cassie said, kissing Dan briefly before moving into the kitchen.

"Don't touch the ones in the crates! They're washed and ready to go back to the caterers!" Alice called, standing and following her daughter.

"I think there's more champagne out back, Sam," Rosalie told her daughter. _I've earned this one._

"I'll find it," she answered as she disappeared from view.

Amid all the chaos that ensued, Edward placed the back of Bella's hand against his lips and kissed it softly. Esmé, forever vigilant, noticed, and rising from her seat, came to stand behind her son and his lady. "I'm very, very happy for the two of you," she said, bending to kiss Edward and Bella in turn.

"Thanks, Mom," Edward said, touched, as always, by his mother's show of affection.

"Thank you, Esmé," Bella said, feeling equally as touched by the gesture.

"You both deserve every happiness that life can give you," she added as Carlisle moved into place beside his wife.

"Ditto. What she said," Carlisle said before bending to kiss Bella and look proudly at his son.

Not since before the death of her own parents had Bella felt so blessed by family. She smiled with loving affection to both of Edward's parents. Life had afforded her many special moments, and to be welcomed so warmly into the Cullen family was definitely one of them.

* * *

"Wait here," Edward told Bella firmly as he opened the car door.

"Excuse me?"

"Please?" he added, a little belatedly.

"What are you up to?"

Edward paused for a moment and looked her in the eye. "Please," he begged, "let me do this right."

Taking a deep breath, Bella agreed. "OK," she said before folding her hands back in her lap and waiting obediently in the passenger's seat of Edward's Audi.

Edward had made Dan relinquish the keys to the Audi before they'd left Alice's place. Dan would be driving the old Volvo home. For the trip south back to Long Beach, Edward had wanted to treat Bella to a "top down" experience in his Audi convertible.

Bella had enjoyed the drive. Aside from feeling, at times, like an older version of Bridget Jones with her hair blowing all over the place, she thoroughly enjoyed the carefree feeling she experienced being a relaxed passenger with the wind in her hair. No doubt the mid-morning champagnes had something to do with it as well.

Bella waited patiently as Edward removed their bags from the trunk of the car and placed them just inside the door of his house. Once this menial task was achieved, he returned to the Audi and gallantly opened Bella's door before offering her his hand and escorting her to his front door.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked as he pulled her close and wrapped one arm around her waist.

"Welcoming my lady home for the first time," he said as he scooped her into his arms.

"Whoa!" she squealed while wrapping her arms around his neck for extra security. "What's this?"

"This," Edward replied, pausing for added meaning, "is me bringing you into our home for the first time."

"But I've been here before!" Bella giggled as he juggled her in his arms, getting a better hold of her.

"Not as my wife, you haven't!"

Bella froze in Edward's arms.

He kissed her.

"You are, you know…now…whether it's official or not…" he said, using a tone of voice that not only turned the moment from one of frivolity to seriousness in a millisecond, but also could not be misinterpreted.

Bella's only response was to smile softly before kissing him.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Cullen," he said gallantly before stepping across the threshold.

At a loss for words by the rush of emotions she felt, Bella simply pulled herself into Edward's arms and cradled her head against his neck.

Once inside, Edward held Bella in his arms close to his chest. After a moment or two of silence, he pressed her to him even more firmly.

"Are you OK?"

Bella nodded her head. "Yes," she said, pulling back to look at him; her seemingly ever-present tears filling her eyes. "I love you," she said, almost choking on her words.

"I love you, too," he confirmed, kissing her.

Moments later, Bella laughed. "You've got to put me down. I'm too heavy."

"Nonsense."

"Seriously," she said, swatting him, albeit it gently. "Put me down. I'll break your back!"

"Bella, there's not that much of you," he said, tossing her gently which made her squeal.

"Stop!" she laughed louder. "You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm not that old and infirmed and neither are you," he said, swinging her from side to side.

"Stop it!" Bella repeated.

"Why?"

"Because I need to use the bathroom," she laughed loudly while feeling somewhat embarrassed.

Edward joined in her laughter. "What would you do if I tickled you right now?"

"I'd love to see you try! And besides, it's your family's fault. I don't usually drink champagne in the morning!" she said as he placed her gently on her feet.

"And they held a gun to your head, did they?"

"It would have been rude to refuse," she countered as she made to move away from him.

"Down the hall and to the right," he laughed.

"I remember!" she called quickly before disappearing from sight.

Edward laughed and was momentarily struck by just how normal and homey this scene was. It warmed his heart before a grey cloud settled over it when he remembered that by this time tomorrow, Bella would be almost landing on the other side of the country. He shook off his temporary case of the blues, and kicked the front door closed with his heel before picking up his and Bella's bags, and making a start for the stairs.

"I'll go and put our bags upstairs," he yelled down the hall. When he didn't get a response after a moment or two, he called again. "Bella?"

He was answered by the sound of a flushing toilet.

"Oh!" he said under his breath, and he was still standing at the bottom of the stairs with the bags in his hands when Bella emerged from the bathroom.

"Oh!" Bella said upon walking out of the bathroom and seeing Edward waiting for her. Somewhat embarrassed, she smiled shyly. Sure, they were lovers, and a sometime soon-to-be-engaged couple, but bathroom ablutions were still a relatively mystical part of their relationship.

"I was just about to take our bags upstairs. Would you like a guided tour?" he said by way of explanation.

"Sure," she answered automatically. "Lead the way."

"I never really got the chance to show you around the other night."

"That's alright. We didn't spend much time here, really," she reasoned.

"Something I hope we can rectify when you return."

Bella smiled. "I plan on it."

"So do I," Edward smiled, reaching the top landing. "My room," he started before correcting himself, "I mean, our room, is up here on the left."

"How many bedrooms do you have?"

"Technically, five—two upstairs and three downstairs, but one I converted to a study."

"This place is huge. Why did you ever want a place this big when you were living on your own?"

"It was more of an investment, originally," Edward explained. "My real estate broker recommended it for that reason. At the time, I really wasn't too fussy. I just wanted some place quiet and far enough away from everyone and everything."

Remembering what had been going on in Edward's life when he bought the place, Bella didn't make any further comment.

"But it's worked out rather well now, ten years or so down the track," he continued. "Here we are," Edward said as he stepped aside and gestured Bella into a spacious bedroom.

"Nice," she said, taking in her surroundings. A large king-sized bed stood in the center of the room. Double French doors led out onto a balcony that overlooked the beach, and on the opposite side of the room were two doorways. Bella assumed that one lead to a walk-in closet and one to a bathroom. Aside from that, the room was relatively sparse.

As if answering her thoughts, Edward spoke up.

"There's a beautiful view of the ocean from over there," he said, gesturing to the large French doors, "and the closet and bathroom are over here," he finished, leading the way across his room.

Bella followed him mutely.

"I know it's a bit bare, but it's only ever been me in here," he said, putting down their bags. This time, it was Edward who was feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious. "Maybe next week when you come back, you can help me choose a few things to make it feel a little more homey."

"Edward, it's lovely," Bella protested.

"But I want you to make it feel like it's yours, too," he said turning to face her.

"I'm at home wherever you are," she said, reiterating something she'd said the day before.

Edward grinned at her.

"I love hearing you say that."

"It's true."

"How the hell did I get so lucky?" Edward asked aloud.

"Hey! That's my line."

"Not any more!"

"Thief."

"As long as you're in the bargain, I'm guilty as charged!"

Bella laughed.

Edward stepped forward and pulled her close.

"We didn't stop to buy you your ostentatious piece of jewelry," Edward reminded her.

"And as I said in the car, I don't need it."

"I wish you had something to wear home."

"You're incorrigible, you know. What? You think after all these years that somebody is going to come along and try and stake their claim on me in the next five days? I doubt it!" Bella admonished.

"You're entirely desirable, Ms. Swan."

"I thought I was Mrs. Cullen?" Bella teased.

"Without a ring on your finger or an ostentatious piece of jewelry, nobody else knows that," Edward countered.

"I know," she said, stressing the I.

"You'd better!"

"Remind me?" Edward smiled crookedly, taking in Bella's flirting tone.

"As tempting as that may sound, Junior might not be too far away, and I'd hate him to walk in on anything when he's still getting used to the idea of the two of us."

"He's a big boy," Bella said, unbuttoning the top couple of buttons of Edward's shirt to expose the chest hair that lay beneath.

"Bel-la," Edward drawled.

"What?" she replied, feigning innocence while running her fingertips through his chest hair.

Edward leaned forward and kissed her roughly.

She responded in kind.

After some heated lip work, Edward pulled away abruptly.

"Out! Now!" he said without preamble, turning her away from him and pushing her toward the bedroom door.

"What?" she asked, pouting a little.

"I want to take you for a walk, and that won't be happening if we stay here in this room a minute longer."

"I don't need a walk," Bella protested as he continued to push her ahead of him toward the stairs.

"I want to show you the yard and the beach," Edward explained, "and since I have to have you at the airport at the crack of dawn in the morning, we're not going to have time then. And if I know my sister, she's going to make a least a dozen or so calls, and equally as many emails to you before you get back here next week – all of them full of wedding ideas - so I want you to have a picture in your head of what she'll be talking about."

Acquiescing, although not happy about it, Bella allowed herself to be led downstairs and through Edward's house, before finally arriving in the backyard. Just as Dan had been a few months before, Bella was impressed with Edward's location. This particular afternoon, not even a few threatening rain clouds could take away from the spectacular views out toward Catalina Island.

"This really is a wonderful outlook," Bella said as Edward came to stand by her. "No wonder Alice thought this would be a wonderful place to have the wedding."

"I love it here," Edward said, putting an arm around Bella's shoulders and pulling her into his side while enjoying his view.

"I can tell," she replied, watching him and the way his features seemed to relax before her eyes.

"I hope you will, too," Edward said, looking down to her.

Bella smiled in response. "I'm sure I will."

Edward kissed the top of her head, and Bella closed her eyes briefly, relishing the contact.

Pulling apart, she surveyed the yard.

"You know," she started, "the one thing that I always think about with outdoor weddings is what happens if it rains?"

"I know," Edward agreed. "Depending on how many people end up coming, we could always move things indoors, but that would take away from the atmosphere Cassie and Dan seem to want. Still, there'd be enough room for a small tent here, even if it didn't have any sides…you know, just a canopy…maybe…" he added, his voice trailing off as he thought about the practicalities.

"That's a possibility. Where are the restaurants that Rosalie was talking about?" Bella asked, as she crossed the yard and looked up and down the beach.

"They're up that way," Edward said, pointing to his right. "Come on. We can go for a walk and I'll show you," he said, reaching down to pull off his shoes.

Following Edward's lead, Bella removed her sandals and held them in one hand. Edward took her free hand in his.

"Ready?"

Strolling along the beach, their conversation flowed easily. Edward spoke about living life on the beach, and Bella asked questions about the things she saw. When they neared the restaurants in question, Edward stood on the sand and pointed out the one or two he preferred over the others. He talked about their menus and they both decided that it would be best if they could meet with Dan and Cassie, Alice and Jasper sometime the following week, once Bella arrived back on the West Coast, to make a decision about a venue as quickly as possible. Edward again told Bella that by the time she got back, Alice would have no doubt called all the restaurants and gauged their availability for the weekend in question, so at least they would be able to narrow down things a little bit.

"I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I'm so looking forward to when you'll finally be here permanently."

"So am I."

"Life will be so different, for all of us, Bella," Edward said, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side as they walked. "You and Dan will be here. We'll all be together. He and Cassie will be married and starting out together. It will be a time of change for all of us."

"It will."

"I wonder where they'll want to live," Edward mused.

"I don't know. It's still early."

"Hmm," Edward replied, seemingly distracted.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," he said, sounding deliberately vague.

"Edward?"

Edward stopped their progression along the beach and turned to look at Bella.

"It's just that…well… I've only just begun to spend some real time with him…you know? And now, it seems like in a heartbeat, he's moving on…"

Bella pulled her lips together in a tight line and reached up to cup the side of Edward's face in her hand.

Edward smiled at her gesture, albeit a little sadly.

"It sounds stupid, but I'm kinda a little bummed about it, actually," he said, sharing a private feeling. "I mean, I'm happy he and Cassie want to get married, but…" He left his thought unfinished.

Bella finished it for him.

"You wish you'd had a little bit more time with him before you had to share him?"

Edward nodded silently, not trusting his voice. He was surprised at how emotional he'd become so quickly.

"Maybe they'll live somewhere close by?"

"Maybe."

"Although heaven knows how they'll afford the rent around here," Bella continued, thinking aloud. "I mean, Cassie will have only just graduated, and she'll need to finalize her teaching credentials, so she may not walk straight into a job."

"True."

"They may well only be on one salary for a while, and I have no idea how much you're paying Dan, but I doubt it would even come close to covering the rent in this neck of the woods."

Edward frowned. "Again, true."

"I doubt they've given much thought to this yet, either. Maybe it's something we need to raise with them sooner rather than later," she suggested.

"Hmm…"

"There you go again," Bella said as she watched Edward's expression. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"A random thought," he replied cryptically.

"Care to be a little more specific?"

"What if…" Edward started and then hesitated as he worked something out in his head.

"What if what?"

"What if Dan and Cassie didn't have to pay for a rental place around here. What if they lived here in Long Beach with us?"

"With us?" Bella echoed.

"Yeah!" Edward agreed, his eyes lighting up as his random thought continued to take shape. "Hear me out. What if I was to convert the studio into a one-bedroom apartment? Dan and Cassie could live there semi-independently. It has a small kitchenette in it. We could convert that to a small, but functional, kitchen. We'd have to install plumbing for a bathroom, but it's quite a big space, so I'm sure it would be do-able."

"You mean, make it into something like a Granny suite?"

"Without the Granny part," Edward agreed, breaking into a smile.

"But what about your studio?"

"Like you said, I've got a huge house. I could change one or two of the rooms downstairs into a workspace for me. It will only be you and me in the house, so we won't need all those bedrooms. The downstairs study and a converted bedroom would be enough room for me to work in. Upstairs would be unaffected."

"It sounds like a possibility."

"You seem a little hesitant?"

"No. Not at all, but I am wondering if they would feel comfortable being newlyweds, living in such close proximity to us."

"Well, as you said, the alternative is paying exorbitant rent for a shoe box."

"And it would mean that you could still stay close to Dan and get to spend more time with him."

"I don't want to live in his pocket or anything," Edward clarified. "But it would be a win-win situation; in my mind at least."

"There's no harm in suggesting it," Bella agreed. "You never know, Jasper might feel a bit more at ease about things knowing that Cassie will be close to family."

Edward smiled, his eyes twinkling at a private memory.

Bella caught it.

"What was that look for?"

"My mother said something very similar to me when I was debating whether or not to offer Dan the job. She said that you might feel more comfortable about it knowing that Dan was moving toward family and not just away from it."

Bella smiled warmly. "Did she?"

"Hmm."

"Seems a bit like karma, then, doesn't it? Why don't you talk to Dan and Cassie about it? See what they think. There's no harm in putting it out there, and financially, it makes sense."

Edward's smile broadened. "So, you're not against the idea?"

"No. On the contrary. The more I think about it, the more I think it's a perfect solution. It wouldn't be permanent, but it would help give them a step up in life."

"Dan's got money coming to him from your parent's estate hasn't he?" Edward asked.

Bella nodded. "Yes. It's sitting in trust for him. It matured when he turned twenty-one, but he didn't want to touch it, so it's just been rolled over and locked into another account. Although, I guess he might be wanting to get out of that sooner rather than later at this point."

"Well, if we do convert the studio, maybe he can leave it there and they can save some more money so that they will be set up when they do move out on their own."

"It all sounds logical to me."

Edward grinned. "I'm excited about it, actually," he confessed. "And we'd get the chance to be a bit of a family unit for a while before he and Cassie move out."

Bella felt her heart melt just a fraction more for this man. Six months ago, he hadn't even known he'd had a son. Now, he was rearranging his life to ensure he could get as much time as possible with him. _Lucky_ wasn't the right word to use to describe her circumstances anymore. For the second time that day, _blessed_, came to mind.

"Thank you," she said, hugging Edward to her.

"For what?"

"For being you."

Edward smirked. "And who else would I be?"

"You could have been a miserable old bastard."

"Once upon a time, I was."

"I doubt that," she said, scolding him with her tone.

"You don't really get what a mess I'd made of my life up until recently. I could have died one day being just like Walter Matthau in that Grumpy Old Men movie."

Again, Bella felt her heartstrings tighten. "I'm sorry," Bella said, stepping back a little to look him in the eyes.

"What have you got to be sorry about?" he challenged.

Bella rubbed her hands soothingly along Edward's forearms.

"If it hadn't been for me, you and Dan could have had years together. You wouldn't be feeling like this if I hadn't kept the two of you apart," she explained, feeling incredibly guilty.

"Whoa! We've been over this. What's happened is in the past. You made the best decisions you could with the information you had at the time. We have the rest of our futures to spend together. That's a whole lot of time. It's the future that matters from this point on…not the past."

Bella pulled her lips together and raised her eyebrows. The fact was that her continued feelings of guilt were something she'd been talking at length about with her counselor back home. Bella still wasn't able to put behind her the guilt she felt at having denied Edward the chance to know the younger Dan. Now, it was being compounded by her realization that she had fallen in love with Edward. Her decisions had denied all of them a very different kind of life, and she was finding it very difficult to forgive herself, even if it appeared that Edward had.

"Bella?" he asked, trying to see what was going on behind her eyes. He'd seen the shadow cross over them and right now, and he wanted to calm her inner torment.

Closing her eyes briefly and letting the sound of her name wash over her, she opened them and searched Edward's face for any sign of anger and upset.

She found none, but she still couldn't believe it that he had forgiven her past mistakes.

"Why aren't you angry with me for everything I denied you?" she asked him outright. She'd never been so bold before – never so direct. "I know you say you're not and that you're focused on the future, but I just don't get how you couldn't have hated me for what I took from you."

Bella was tense. This was what she had brought up with her counselor over and over, and something that she just couldn't understand because she truly believed, that had the situation been reversed, she'd never have been able to be as forgiving and understanding has Edward has been.

Edward swallowed and bought himself some time. This was so not how he'd anticipated their afternoon walk along the beach to turn out.

"Bella, I don't know what you want me to say," he replied honestly.

"Tell me the truth."

"I love you," he said simply. It was the simplest truth he could offer her.

"I know that, and I love you, too," she said as she read the sincerity in his eyes. "But," she started haltingly, "it wasn't always like this…not in the beginning…you must have felt very angry…"

Edward reached up to cup her face in his hands. It seemed like Bella really wanted to press the point, and he owed her the truth. He'd promised her nothing but the truth, months ago.

Slowly, he nodded his head, wanting to be honest with her, but also wanting to desperately lessen the impact of what he was going to say.

"Yes. I was angry."

Tears ran down Bella's cheeks, and Edward wiped at them with his thumbs. She hiccupped a little with the effort of trying to keep her emotions in check, and it broke Edward's heart to think that what he'd said had just hurt her. He wanted to right it straight away.

"But that was before we'd met again. That first weekend I came out to New England, all I wanted to do was confront you and get some answers. Alice and my mother warned me to take it easy, to tread warily and not to make things worse, but part of me was just so mad. It was hard to listen to reason," he explained. "But I took Alice's advice, and I bought that plant," he said, smiling at the memory. "Something to break the ice and give us a conversation starter."

Bella, too, smiled at the memory.

"And when Dan led me into the house, and we met again, you were just so different than what I'd expected to see. You were more nervous than I was, and you took off into the kitchen, and there was no way you were going to come out of there. When Dan went to try and talk you out of cooking, I took the time to look around at the photos you had in your living room, and I can't explain it…I just realized that I needed to get to know your story and not just get the answers to my questions."

Yet again, Edward wiped at the tears falling down Bella's cheeks.

"Who knows…maybe you'd started to weave your magic on me then," he smiled at her, love and devotion shining in his eyes. "And over that weekend, and then little by little, through our emails and phone calls, I knew that the initial picture I had built of you in my mind didn't match the person I was getting to know. You started unraveling me that very first day we met last year. And you've been doing it ever since," he explained. "All I know is that when we met up again in December, I was beginning to fall for you, and by the time I left to come home, I knew that I was in love with you…I just had no idea if you would ever feel the same way about me."

Bella was now crying uncontrollably.

"There was no way, after what you shared with me at Christmas time, I could feel any anger toward you," he said, referring back to the night when Bella had finally let her guard down and exposed her raw and damaged soul. "You are the woman I love with all my heart. There is no room in this relationship for anger or regret, and I _am_ being perfectly honest with you," he reinforced, when he saw Bella about to interrupt. "I will always feel a little sad that there are times in Dan's life I will never remember first-hand, but you and he have been doing a wonderful job in sharing your memories with me. I treasure them as if they are my very own, and I am slowly building up a lifetime's worth of memories to reflect upon. There's no anger here, Bella. No hate. Just love. It's the most precious thing I can give you."

Bella pulled herself against Edward and squeezed him as tight as she could. She had no idea what she had done in life to deserve this man or his love. She believed she had to be the luckiest woman alive and she had no real idea how to prove that to him – to show him that she loved him as deeply as he'd just proven his love for her.

But then it came to her.

Slowly she pulled back from him. She wiped at her eyes repeatedly, trying to rub them dry while all the while, Edward stood and watched her silently.

"I…" she started haltingly before she coughed, clearly trying to regain control of her voice. "I love you, and I can't put into words what I feel about how you've treated me and all you continue to give to me. I know I've been a bit slow on the uptake, even though now I realize that I've been in love with you for quite a while, too," she said, smiling, "I just wish I could give you those memories first-hand. I wish I hadn't taken that opportunity away from you. Maybe that's something I'm just going to have to come to terms with because I can't change it. But I can do something. I have something I can give you – something that might make up for my past mistakes." Bella took a deep breath. "Edward, I can give you another child - a baby – one that you can be involved with from the very beginning and for the rest of your life."

"Bella? Are you saying you want to have another baby?"

"I'm saying I want to give you the chance to have everything I took away from you the first time. We can have another child. We can raise it together, as it should have been with Dan. You don't have to miss out on being a dad. I can give that to you. A baby of your own."

Her suggestion made perfect sense in her mind. This was the way she could put the past behind her, and make it up to Edward. She could give him what he'd always wanted. It would be her ultimate gift to him.

Edward stood rooted to the spot. Less than forty-eight hours before, he'd been in their shower at their hotel room, and he'd felt his heart burst at the idea of having more children with Bella. It had flashed before his eyes as clearly as if it had been a piece of video footage from a family holiday. But now, here on the beach, he had the opposite reaction. His heart constricted at the idea, and he couldn't explain why – it just didn't feel right. "Bella, this is a huge decision," he said as he struggled with his unexpected reaction.

"I know, but it's something I can do for you. It's a way of showing you how sorry I am for you missing out on Dan's youth. It's a way of putting my love for you out there for everyone to see."

Edward felt at sea. He desperately sought to identify what he was feeling and why. "Sweetheart, we have to talk about this. There's so much involved in coming to a decision about whether or not to have a baby."

Bella pulled back. "Don't you want a baby? I thought you'd always wanted a baby?"

"I did. I had. But that was a dream I had all but given up on."

"And don't you see? Now, you don't have to."

Edward pursed his lips and sighed inwardly. In the long-distant past, he'd spent hours upon hours of his time daydreaming about what it would be like to hold a child of his own and what it would be like to raise a child. When Bella and Dan had come into his life, he'd spent even more hours feeling upset, bitter and betrayed at the loss of such an opportunity. And yet, aside from the momentary flashes he'd had the other night, he now realized he hadn't thought about those lost dreams for months; not since Christmas. Instead, what he'd focused on, since realizing he'd fallen in love with Bella, had been his growing feelings for her and his hope that one day, given time, she'd return them, and then if she ever did, how he would spend the rest of his life making her happy. The pictures he'd created in his mind had been of a duo, not a trio. And now, here was Bella offering him the very thing he'd so often longed for in the past, and his gut was telling him something very different.

He finally understood what was happening. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted Bella all to himself. He didn't want to spend the next twenty years of his life sharing Bella with somebody else, even if it was their own child. He wanted to show her the world. To take her on trips that single parenthood had never allowed her; to show her a life that was so very different to the one she'd experienced thus far while she'd single handedly raised their child.

Edward tried to read the expression on her face. The previous five minutes had thrown him for a complete loop. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, or reject her gift, but it was too much. Neither of them were young anymore – but they weren't old, either. In fact, they were far from it - and another child at this stage in their lives had far reaching consequences.

"Beautiful," he started, trying to ease the tension that had developed in the last few moments. "There's something I need you to understand. I don't need to have another child to make up for the past. What you and Dan have brought to my life these past few months has enriched it beyond measure. I never thought I could feel so much, nor feel so happy."

Bella frowned and looked a little confused. Inwardly, she'd thought Edward would have jumped at the chance to have another child – together this time. She couldn't quite get the gist of what he was saying.

Edward drew her hands up to his chest and pressed them against him. "You've brought me peace and happiness, and that's something I haven't had for the longest time. You don't owe me anything. I have the greatest gift already. Our family." He paused, measuring his words carefully. "To have another child together now, while another great gift, would mean a lot of change, for both of us. And I'm going to be very honest here. I don't think that having a child, if only to erase the pain of the past, is the best motivation."

Bella cried. She couldn't help it. She buried her face in his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

"I love you, you crazy lady," Edward said as he held her and swayed her, oblivious to the stares of other beach goers. "I want to show you the world. I don't want to wait another twenty years when we're too old to have the choices we have now. It's selfish, I know," he said, kissing the top of her head, "but I want you all to myself. I want to take you to far away places and spend my days and nights loving you, and planning our next great adventure."

Despite the mixed and confusing emotions Bella was feeling, she giggled, somewhat sadly.

"You make it sound like some great expedition or something."

"Haven't you ever wanted to see the Great Pyramids, or Machu Picchu, or The Tower of London?"

Bella shrugged. As a single parent, travel abroad had never really been on the cards for her, so she'd never really given it much thought other than when she'd watch travel shows on the television.

"And cities like Paris and Rome and even Sydney," he continued, thinking back to the original event that set the wheels in motion for their eventual re-uniting.

"We could do all that with a child," Bella persisted.

"Only for a few years, and then we'd be locked into school holidays and limited opportunities." He paused and pulled back to look at her. "Bella. I'm essentially a selfish person. I've lived on my own for so long," he said, his brow furrowing. "If someone was to write a report card on me now, it might say something like, _Edward is a caring person, but he doesn't always share well with others._" He laughed at himself under his breath. "The thing is, I don't want to have to share you. I want you all for myself. I've waited long enough to feel the kind of love I feel for you, and I want to act on it, without restrictions."

Edward paused. He didn't feel like he was explaining things properly. It wasn't just about traveling the world with her. "Beautiful, if you can honestly tell me that wanting another child is truly something you desperately need and not just a way to make up for the past, then fine – we can think about having another child. But I need you to understand. I don't need a child to make things right. I have you and I have Dan, and we'll have, hopefully, the grandchildren he and Cassie will have in the future. That's all I need."

Bella dried her eyes as she thought about what Edward had just said.

"Is another child truly something _you_ want?"

Bella took a deep breath. She knew her answer. "No," she said, exhaling heavily. "I wanted you to have a child."

"I don't need a child to be happy."

"I'm beginning to understand that," she replied.

Edward cupped her face in his hands. "Would it make you unhappy not to have another child?" he asked her genuinely.

Bella shook her head. "No. In the past, I've spent a long time planning what I would do with my life once Dan was settled and off on his own. I've never considered having another child before now."

"And now? What do you think now?"

Bella sighed and smiled, giving herself permission to chase a new dream. "I've heard that the most amazing glass in the world can be found in an island off Venice."

Edward broke into the hugest smile.

"I'm blessed to have you," she said as she hugged him.

Edward smiled and guffawed. "Yeah. Because I'm such a catch," he joked.

Bella pulled back and rubbed roughly at her eyes before looking at him incredulously.

"You are."

"Bullshit. When are you going to see me for the flawed person that I really am? I'm a guy who got blind drunk, bedded a young, innocent girl he didn't know, got her pregnant, albeit unknowingly, married somebody else, divorced her because I couldn't stick it out and be the man she needed me to be, pulled away from my family because it pissed me the hell off to see them have everything I wanted but didn't have, lived life like a hermit in my lovely palatial home on the beach far enough away from the people who loved me that nobody could stop by without massive pre-planning, and made my musical instruments and my computers my best friends."

Bella was at a loss for words. To hear Edward describe his own life so blandly did make it seem far less than fairytale.

"You see?" he said, raising his eyebrows to her. "That doesn't sound much like a good catch to me."

"You're genuine and kind and unbelievably patient," Bella countered. "You've welcomed Dan into your life willingly. You didn't have to do that."

"It would have made me even more of a miserable bastard if I hadn't."

"Why are you putting yourself down? I don't understand?"

"Frustrating…isn't it?"

"Excuse me?" she asked, now thoroughly confused.

"Bella. You are this talented, independent, capable woman. You have single-handedly raised the most incredible young man all while building yourself a career."

"I'd hardly call teaching a career."

"It's a most noble profession, even if modern society tends to regularly undervalue it. The thing is, I think you put yourself down way too much. You, maybe by necessity in the past, have focused on the struggles or problems you've had to face, and then worked to find a solution. You've done an incredible job. I just think there haven't been enough people in your life to tell you that."

Bella was standing there in front of him lost for words.

"We now have the most wonderful opportunity to create whatever we want out of our future. We could both spend time looking back at the past and wanting it to be different, or we can grab hold of our future with both hands and have a hell of a fun time on the ride. Whatever the future has in store for us, I want you by my side, and I want to plan it together. No more feeling guilty or melancholy over what we may or may not have missed out on in the past."

A tight smile began to form on Bella's face.

"And another thing. From now on, I'm going to say "Ow" any time I think you're being too hard on yourself or you're brooding on the past. It's not right. The future, Mrs. Cullen, that's what we're focusing on from here on in."

Bella's smile broadened. She found this authoritative side of Edward quite entertaining, and more than a little hot.

"Yes, Sir."

Edward was on a roll. He continued.

"See the beach up ahead?"

Bella nodded in reply.

"Unchartered territory," he said, matter-of-factly. "No matter how many times we will walk it in the years to come, each and every time will be a new journey. No two times will ever be the same."

Bella nodded her head as she thought about what he was saying.

"The two people who walk back to our place after this very challenging but enlightening conversation this afternoon will be two different people from the ones who left it a little over an hour ago."

Bella continued to nod her head. "I get it."

"Take my hand, Mrs. Cullen," Edward said, stepping to the side and holding out his hand for hers, expectantly.

When Bella placed her hand inside of his, he entwined their fingers together.

"Now let's walk. The future awaits."

Bella laughed aloud as they started walking.

"You're right. You're not so good a catch. You're a bossy boot!"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Desperate?"

"I don't want to hear you feel guilty about the past ever again."

"Deal."

"Good. And besides, I've been sporting a semi ever since your little escapade in the bedroom an hour or so ago."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I might just have to do something about that when I get you home."

Edward turned and gave her a sly look out of the corner of his eye.

"Don't go making promises you won't keep, Mrs. Cullen."

"I don't intend to, Mr. Cullen," Bella teased.

"Really?"

Bella laughed, her voice light and devoid of heavy emotion. Without warning, she flicked away Edward's hand and made a short sprint 20 yards or so up the beach.

"What are you doing?" Edward called after her, laughing as she turned around to face him and continued to jog backwards along the beach, albeit a little awkwardly.

"Getting a head start!"

"Alone?" he laughed.

Bella laughed some more. "Being part of a double act is still relatively new for me. I'm a fairly accomplished solo performer. I think I can handle things satisfactorily 'til you catch up to me. We don't want to wear you out now, do we?" she called, before giving him an exaggerated wink.

Edward laughed very loudly. So loudly, in fact, that he broke into a coughing fit and had to stop and catch his breath.

Bella paused a little distance away. She didn't know if he was in real difficulty or not.

Edward stood up momentarily and smiled broadly at her.

Bella smiled back.

"I'm going to count to five," he called.

"What for?" she called back.

"I'm giving you your head start."

"Oh!" she said, her eyes opening wide. "Then what?" she teased.

"I'm catching up!"

Bella laughed hysterically.

"One!" Edward bellowed.

"Oh!" Bella turned tail and began to run.

To the casual passer-by, the whole thing looked quite entertaining – two adults playing on the beach, one running rather clumsily in a flowing skirt while being chased down by another wearing rolled up pants. All who witnessed it instantly smiled; they couldn't help it. It was a lovely sight - two adults enjoying life, and each other, so uninhibitedly. It was a joy to see.

* * *

I am planning on bringing TTTB to a close in the next few chapters.

I started writing this fic nearly two years ago. My life, since then, has changed with the growing demands of my family. As a result, despite my best efforts and intentions, I cannot devote as much time to it as I would like.

In recent months, I have felt extraordinary (self-imposed) pressure to get this story finished and I have been struggling with the fact that my time to do so is very limited. I never thought it would take me this long to write this story, and I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility to bring it to a satisfactory conclusion for everyone who has supported me along the way.

As a result, I have decided not to write the third arc of the story as I had originally outlined. Instead, I will, in Ch 52, summarize events from the third arc (in one chapter - I had orginally planned around 10) and then will post the epilogue soon after.

The epilogue has been written for nearly 18 months. All this time, I have been trying to get us there.

I plan to take the next month to write and "polish" the final chapter (52) - trying to get 10 chapters worth of content into one is proving to be a bit of a challenge!

My desire is to give all readers a comprehensive picture of these characters and their journey.

It has been an incredibly difficult decision to make. THIS is not EVER, the way in which I intended to wrap up this story, but I have too many responsibilities, too many "balls in the air" and I have to let something go...unfortunately, TTTB neither pays the bills nor gives my family any quality time with me, so this is what has to give.

I have been incredibly touched by people in the fandom who have supported me as I write this story. I hope that support will stay with me as I conclude this epic tale. When I first started writing this, I was tired of reading all the cliched stories out there... I wanted to offer something a little more "mature" (for the older readers amongst us) and create something that was a little unique. I intend to do that right to the very end of this story. Some people may dislike me intensely for what I will write, but I can't control that - I just know that I will write the story the way I envisioned it from the very beginning.

Thank you to my betas, who have saved my bacon, numerous times (including this chapter). Thank you to my readers, several of whom have contacted me in recent months to touch base and check that I haven't actually fallen from the face of the earth. And thank you all, for your patience.

See you in a month (or so)

Leisa


	52. Chapter 52

**Well, folks, here it is. The final chapter of The Ties That Bind.**

**Thanks for Sandy, Lalina and Grendel.**

**Important AN at the bottom.**

* * *

**Chapter 52 - The Ties That Bind**

Edward stirred slowly, his mind and body still groggy from jetlag. He and Bella were in their hotel suite in Paris' Le Littré hotel. The small gap in the heavy set curtains of their bedroom allowed a slither of light to enter, letting him know it was daytime, but he had no idea what time of day it was – international travel does that to a person.

He stretched his neck and arched his back slowly to work out some of the sluggishness he felt, being careful to not disturb Bella who was sleeping next to him.

He rolled on his side to look at his beautiful wife, and his eyes crinkled at the sides as he gazed upon her sleeping form. He and Bella had been married for nearly eight months. Theirs had been a quiet, small wedding the week before Christmas. Unlike Cassie and Dan's, their wedding had included just Edward's immediate family, Bella's friends, Jessica and Mike, and Dan's best friend, Chris – not that Chris was just Dan's best friend anymore – he was now Sammy's beau. That particular relationship had been cemented at Dan and Cassie's wedding back in June and was indeed shaping up to become a permanent situation, that is, if the vibes Edward had been picking up on lately were correct. Not for the first time, Edward wondered how Emmett might deal with his own daughter's wedding hovering on the horizon.

Bella was oblivious to Edward's attention and his internal musings. She was sound asleep, her hair encasing her face and splaying over her pillow. Edward liked that Bella was wearing her hair a little longer these days. Really, he didn't care one way or the other, but he did admit that the longer style suited her. It still only touched to just below her shoulders, and she'd had it streaked with dashes of deep auburn which helped to bring out the color of her eyes.

Edward reached up and delicately pushed away some hair from her face. She looked so relaxed when she slept, a far cry from the stress they'd shared over the last twelve months.

Edward sighed quietly. It still upset him terribly that Bella had felt so torn and lost during that time. It wasn't like he'd deliberately set about to cause her pain and angst. In fact, he thought he'd tried his very best to minimize the impact of his illness on all of his family, especially Bella. The problem was that life had dished them up a certain hand that had to be played out. Edward had tried to manage things himself; tried not to involve anyone else unnecessarily in his treatment, but he finally faced the truth – his troubles were no longer his alone; they involved his wife and his son, whether he wanted it that way or not.

In that first month after his diagnosis the previous August, Edward had steadfastly refused to allow either Bella or Dan to become intimately involved in his treatment. He'd been determined to soldier on independently, the guilt he felt over their change in circumstances causing him once again, just like so many years before, to withdraw from those he loved. It had taken him quite a while, and a lot of pain and unnecessary sadness, before he'd finally come to his senses.

Edward closed his eyes as he remembered the day that Dan finally convinced him to accept one of his kidneys to replace his own failing ones. Their relationship had been strained for over a month after Edward had pigheadedly told Dan that he'd rather spend the rest of his life on dialysis than accept a kidney from his only child. Edward now understood that he had made a total mess of that situation. He hadn't explained himself or his feelings well, and his refusal to accept Dan's willingness to help had caused a major rift in their relationship. For Edward, it had been an emotionally distressing time. He hadn't been able to put into words his remorse over his rapid decline in health at a time in his and Bella's lives when he'd promised her the world and yet had only delivered her an ill and dialysis-dependent partner.

Before his diagnosis, just like many other sufferers of Chronic Polycystic Kidney Disease, he'd had very few recognizable symptoms; that was, until the disease had advanced to such a degree that he was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure.

Sure, looking back over time, Edward could now identify the odd discrepancies – a gradual increase in his blood pressure, headaches when he'd never before been a sufferer, restless legs and increasing fatigue – but, of course, Edward had just put these down to the results of the pace of life building up to Dan and Cassie's wedding along with all the travel he had been doing in the months leading up to the event. Trips to New York and to see Bella in New Hampshire had become regular occurrences leading up to the wedding. In fact, he'd made sure that he'd seen Bella every couple weeks; fifteen days had been the longest they'd been apart during the months until she'd finally moved west to join him in California. Still, the symptoms, even when he'd noticed them, had never really been more than a slight, occasional problem, and he'd basically ignored them. He'd never connected the dots or even asked his father for some friendly advice until the day, a month or so after Dan and Cassie's wedding, when he suffered severe back pain and noticed a significant change in his urine.

When the full extent of his illness became apparent and Edward was told that his long-term survival would be dependent upon lifelong dialysis or a transplant, Dan had automatically volunteered to be tested as a donor. Edward, point blank, had refused the idea, but that hadn't stopped Dan from instigating his own preliminary inquiries, determined to help his father. If only Edward's own stubborn nature hadn't risen to the forefront – if only he'd listened more thoroughly to Dan's reasoning before he'd thrown his offer back in his face – they wouldn't have spent time estranged from each other with Bella caught in the middle.

In hindsight, Edward could now see clearly how he could have managed things better. Justifiably, Edward's concern had not been for himself but for his only son. The disease was hereditary, and statistically, there had been a significant chance that Edward had passed the faulty gene onto his child. That alone was enough reason for Edward to refuse Dan's offer. He considered that he had already placed Dan at enough risk in the future without taking one of his now healthy kidneys. In Edward's mind, such a selfish act would only serve to put his son's life at risk years down the road.

Before Edward's diagnosis, in the months leading up to Dan's wedding, Edward and his son had continued to grow closer. As adults, they were firm friends. Their father/son relationship was still developing, but piece-by-piece, day-by-day, Edward and Dan forged a strong bond. In fact, when Edward stood next to his son as best man at his and Cassie's wedding, he couldn't have been prouder or put into words the magnitude of feeling he had for his son.

So, when Edward had refused Dan's offer to be a transplant donor, Dan had been cut to the core. As with most people, his pain was soon replaced by, and acted out in, anger, and the two men had fought – loudly and often. Even now, many months later in the privacy of his and Bella's hotel suite, Edward closed his eyes and grimaced at the memory of some of the things that had been said between them. Dan had accused Edward of all kinds of things – from being the most selfish bastard on the face of the planet to questioning the depth of his love for Bella – before also telling him, in no uncertain terms, that he was resigning his mother to a life of looking after an invalid and that she deserved so much better.

Naturally, all of Dan's accusations had hit home and had only served to heighten the grief and anger Edward himself felt about the situation in which they'd found themselves. And Edward, in withdrawing from his loved ones, had never clearly put his feelings and his concerns out there for them to be understood. Bottom line, he'd not told Dan just how scared he was that, in attempting to save his own life by accepting Dan's offer, he could, very well, eventually threaten Dan's own.

Both men knew that their estrangement was putting additional strain on an already pressure-filled situation. And both knew that the women they loved were caught in the middle. It wasn't made any easier since the four were living in such close quarters, Dan and Cassie having accepted Edward's suggestion after their engagement to live in the newly converted studio in Edward's backyard. In the end, it had been Carlisle who had bridged the gap between a sad and worried father and his angry son. Carlisle, armed with his medical knowledge and his calm, patient ways, had explained Edward's worries to Dan.

Once they were known, Dan, still angry but even more determined to prove Edward wrong and to do something to help both his parents, took the next logical course of action he could think of. Using Carlisle's connections at the hospital, and without Edward's knowledge, he went through an extensive amount of testing, including further DNA analysis to determine if there was any basis for Edward's concerns. That whole process took another month.

By the time Dan had his answers in the first week of November, he and Edward still hadn't shared more than a few brief words of greeting or strained conversation in the presence of family. So, it had taken Edward by surprise when, one Sunday afternoon, three months after his diagnosis, Dan and Cassie had come to see Edward and Bella while they were reading in the sunroom. Dan, armed with his test results and medical transplant statistics, had suggested that he and Edward go for a walk along the beach and talk.

That talk was to become the penultimate turning point in Edward and Dan's relationship.

As Edward lay in bed looking at his wife, he could remember Dan's exact words – his reasoning, his explanations and his justifications. But it had been one lone comment that had stood out from all the others and shot down all of Edward's objections.

_I want to do this, not just for my mom, but because I can't stand the thought of losing my dad. _

Even now, nearly nine months later, tears welled in the corner of Edward's eyes as he remembered that conversation. Dan had been so sincere, so full of pain and determination, that Edward had finally agreed to accept a donor kidney from his son. Every question that Edward had, Dan had an answer for. Every concern Edward had raised, Dan had allayed. In the end, Edward came to look at the situation through Dan's eyes and saw that he was truly being the selfish one, and upon that realization, he did something that he had never, ever done before – he broke down and cried in front of a member of his family. To do it in front of his son changed the nature of their relationship, forever.

Bella stirred, her body rousing itself from its slumber.

Brought back to the present, Edward, with his head still resting on his pillow, smiled with affection at the woman who had given him everything in life he could ever want.

"Mmm," Bella groaned as she stretched her feet and lifted her head only to flop it over on its other side, away from Edward.

Edward sniggered quietly to himself. Bella really wasn't a morning person. They did walk on the beach each morning back home, but not as early as Edward had always done. As a single man, Edward used to wake up around five each morning, but he'd changed his routine to suit Bella's slower morning schedule. They'd started hitting the beach sometime between seven and seven-thirty, and would walk for an hour or so before having a leisurely breakfast back home. Edward loved the change in his routines that Bella had brought to his life. Despite his initial suggestions of dinner out on a regular basis, he found he preferred their home cooked meals, the time they spent in the kitchen preparing them, and then the time spent around the table at the end of each day. More often than not, Dan and Cassie would eat with them, but sometimes, it would be just the two of them with a glass or two of wine, along with effortless conversation or companionable silences.

After the move West, Bella had struggled with not having teaching to occupy her days. Initially, she'd been busy with last minute wedding preparations and sorting out her things after the move, but once she had settled into their house, and Dan and Cassie's wedding was over, she'd been at a loss as to how to spend her time. With Edward working from home, she always had company and could often be found simply sitting in his studio with him while he worked on his latest composition or arrangement. Edward, quite conscious of her lack of a social network in her new home, had encouraged her to join local community groups as a way of meeting people, and for a short time, that seemed to give her an outlet. That was, until he became ill.

After his diagnosis and the subsequent stress at home, Bella had tried hard to not lose her verve as she struggled with the extent of Edward's illness and the effect it had on their lives. Their life seemed to become nothing more than a series of doctor appointments and treatment schedules. Despite Bella's best efforts, Edward's thrice weekly dialysis sessions impinged on all their time, even on non-treatment days. And all the while, as she tried to negotiate what had become some very complicated and turbulent family relationships, Edward became more and more unsociable and withdrawn.

Aside from dealing from the fall-out with Dan, Edward's treatments affected him in other ways. He was always tired and appeared to lose the light that shone behind his eyes. Bella tried time and time again to show Edward in as many ways as she could that her love for him was unchanged, but as the demands of the treatments and the emotional toll from the strained relationship with Dan took hold, there seemed to be another bitter pill they had to swallow – the impact on their sex life.

On more than one occasion, Edward had found that despite his determined efforts, he'd been unable to make love to his wife. His loss of sexual vigor made him feel desolate, and it was something he couldn't bring himself to talk about, not even with Bella. Edward felt that this previously hidden but devastatingly debilitating disease and its treatments were robbing him of everything in life he'd recently found and treasured.

Bella, being ever supportive, hadn't cared. While she'd missed that physically intimate part of their relationship, she'd figured it would just be a matter of time until Edward adjusted to the new demands his body and the treatments were placing on him.

What Bella had found most difficult to cope with was not having anyone of her own outside the family that she could talk to. While Bella had always been a private person, someone who had regularly played her cards close to her chest, her time in counseling back East had taught her a valuable life lesson: that nobody could be expected to handle everything life threw at you on your own. With Edward becoming seemingly more and more depressed, Bella contacted Esmé, and without betraying Edward's confidence, asked her for the name of a professional counselor she could see. That had been an extremely difficult phone call to make, but it had confirmed for Edward's family the full extent to which the relationships between Bella and Edward, and Edward and Dan were suffering.

Prior to that phone call, for the first few weeks after Edward had returned home from his initial hospital stay, Cassie and Bella had tried to keep the tensions at home hidden from their family. They had both believed that a little time would mend the rift that had developed between father and son. They'd been wrong.

Alice, Rosalie and Esmé, as Bella's closest allies, had tried their hardest to support Bella as she came to know a side to Edward that his sisters and mother had known for years. It was a difficult time for all of them to see someone they loved slip back into unhealthy behaviors, and thankfully, this time, it was Carlisle who had been able to intervene and address the situation.

Edward gently reached out to stroke his wife's hair. Bella, with her eyes still closed, smiled at the gentle caress and turned her head back to face her husband.

"Morning, Beautiful," Edward said softly, his voice sounding like a caress.

Bella continued to smile. "Morning."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Hmm," she replied ineloquently. "What time is it?"

"I'm not too sure," he said, rolling on his back to glance at the digital clock built into the night table at the side of the bed. Without his glasses, the number was decidedly blurry. "A little after ten, I think."

"Have you been awake long?"

"Not too long. I've just been lying here watching you sleep."

"That'd be boring."

"On the contrary, it's one of my most favorite things in the world."

"You're a sap."

"Guilty," he said, reaching out to caress her hair again.

"You're a good looking sap, mind you."

"Why, thank you."

Bella opened one eye. "I love your gray hair, and your eye crinkles."

"Good to know."

Bella reached for Edward's feet with her toes. She succeeded in finding his shins and began to run her freshly manicured toenails, a going-away present from Alice and Rosalie, along them.

"There are other things, too, you know," Bella continued as Edward moved his legs to accommodate her tantalizing toe work.

"Really? Like what?"

"You have a cute smile."

Edward smirked. "Cute, is it?"

"And your fingers…you have sexy hands."

Edward laughed this time. "You have a hand fetish? Why didn't I know this before now?"

"You've known," Bella said, trying to pinch his shin between her toes.

"I don't think so."

"Yes, you do. When I watch you play the piano at home. It's just so…"

Edward's voiced teased Bella huskily. "So what?"

Bella blushed.

"Why, Mrs. Cullen. There's no need for you to go getting all shy on me," he said, playfully tickling her in the ribs, which made her giggle aloud and roll away from him and onto her back. Edward pursued her across the bed.

"Stop," Bella giggled.

"Not until you explain your little hand fetish to me."

"OK. OK."

"Well?"

"It's not really your hands," Bella started to explain, reaching up with her hand to caress the skin at the side of his neck as he held himself aloft next to her. "It's your fingers."

"My fingers?"

"You have the most gorgeous fingers," she said, as she watched her own fingers trail across the stubble along his throat.

"Good looking fingers, huh?"

"When I watch you play and see the way they move, it makes me think of other things."

"Other things?" he teased as the fingers in question started to trace their way up her thigh and over her abdomen, pushing her nightgown out of the way as they went.

"Hmm hmm," Bella replied, her eyes closing against the sensation.

"Like what they're doing now?"

"Something like that."

"Or maybe this," he said, a few moments later as his fingers disappeared from view under her panties.

"Hmm hmm," she replied in a slightly higher pitch than before.

"Or this?" he asked, as one finger traced the seam of the delicate skin between her legs.

"Mmm," Bella concurred, her voice almost an octave higher than her last response.

"And what about when I do this," Edward asked as he lowered his lips before beginning to suck and tug gently on her earlobe while continuing to explore the moist skin he found with his fingers.

"Oh, God."

Bella's hips rose swiftly from the bed before she halted his hand by squeezing her legs together, pinning it in place.

"Too much?"

"Never. But I gotta pee."

Edward laughed. "You and your morning bladder."

"Don't you go making fun of my bladder, Mister," she said, deliberately poking him in the chest. "Not after what your bladder has put us through."

Edward rolled away from his wife and looked at the ceiling. "It wasn't my bladder's fault. Blame the faulty kidneys," he said, smiling back at her. His illness, since the successful transplant, had become a bit of a running joke between them.

Bella leaned across and gave Edward a closed-lipped kiss on the cheek before scurrying out of bed. "I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting."

"I'm banking on it."

Edward smiled as he watched Bella flee into the bathroom and close the door. After more than a year together, nearly eight of them married, she still closed the door.

Edward put his hands behind his head and thought some more about the last year. Once he had finally agreed to use one of Dan's kidneys, everything had seemed to happen fairly quickly. The only thing Edward had been adamant about was that he and Bella marry before undergoing any transplant surgery. Despite the doctors assurances that the transplant surgery itself, while extensive and complicated, posed only a limited threat, there was no way he was going to have it until he was sure that Bella and Dan would be protected by law. As his wife, and with his altered will, he could provide her the most secure future he could in the event that something went fatally wrong during the procedure. While Bella wanted no part of such morbid thoughts, the surgery was scheduled for two months from the time Edward agreed to the transplant. That was enough time for Edward and Bella to obtain their marriage licenses and have their quiet, but romantic wedding on Catalina Island the week before Christmas. His pre-operative preparations and regular dialysis meant that there wasn't any possibility of anything more than a one-night stay on the island, but that's what this trip to Europe had been about.

As he rolled over on his side and waited for Bella to return from the bathroom, Edward remembered his and Bella's plan for their first major holiday post-surgery. They'd planned it for the six month mark – agreeing to wait until that all important medical clearance; it also just so happened to coincide with the twelve month anniversary of his diagnosis. This was their honeymoon. This was the start of the life that Edward had promised her more than fifteen months before. They departed for this holiday at the end of July, a month after celebrating Dan and Cassie's first wedding anniversary. If things went well and there were no health complications while they were away, Edward and Bella planned to travel for three months throughout Europe, returning to the States by the end of October. They were starting their trip in Paris, and then planned to drive, making their way through France, Spain and Italy before flying on to London and traipsing their way across the British Isles.

Bella had surprised Edward with her nonchalant attitude toward the planning of this holiday. He'd expected her to be the first to make plans – detail their trip and make accommodation arrangements – so it came as a complete shock to him when, aside from booking their flight to Paris and their initial Parisian accommodations as well as the return trip home from London, she was prepared to leave the rest of it to chance. No predetermined destinations, no specific timetable. Throwing caution and her old ways to the wind, Bella wanted a carefree, relaxed holiday. True, she'd read up on all the places that people told her about – the "must-dos" and the "must-sees" according to everyone else – but she was perfectly prepared to let the holiday unfold as it happened. Aside, of course, from the language lessons she'd been taking online. Edward smiled at the memory of Bella, vacuuming the house with her earphones in place, repeating phrases in French, Spanish and Italian upon command from the some of the preprogrammed lessons she'd been undertaking. It made Edward smile even wider to know that even though Bella had been extremely nervous about putting her new found knowledge to the test, she'd been thrilled to pieces the night before when, upon arriving at the Charles de Gaulle airport, she'd been able to understand all the directions made over the loud speakers, _en français, _without having to rely on translations.

Edward looked up at the sound of Bella coming out from the bathroom and crossing to their bed.

"Miss me?" she asked as she jumped into bed and snuggled up beside him.

"Absolutely."

"How much?"

"Want me to show you?"

"Yes," she giggled playfully.

"How many times?" Edward teased as he began to snuggle into her neck.

"Hmm," Bella paused, pretending to give the question considerable attention. "I think twice should do it."

"Comme vous voudrez, madame."

"Oooooh, la, la," she giggled.

There was no need to translate that.

oooOOOooo

It was mid-afternoon before Edward and Bella made to move from their hotel. After spending much of the day enjoying each other's company in bed and a hilarious phone call to room service in which Bella attempted to order a light meal using her newly acquired French, they were in the final stages of dressing for a late afternoon stroll on the streets of Paris.

"Here," Edward said, noticing Bella struggle with the clasp on her bracelet. "Let me."

"Thanks."

"It really does have quite a bit of weight to it now, doesn't it?" he commented as he secured it to her arm.

"Hmm."

Having finished his task, Edward played with the piece of jewelry. "Do you have a favorite?"

"Charm?"

"Yes."

"No," Bella answered. "They're all special to me. Each and every one."

Edward continued to toy with the bracelet, turning it around and around on her wrist as he remembered with fondness, selecting each and every charm on it.

"Surely you must have one favorite," he asked.

Bella shrugged.

"I do," he persisted.

"You do?"

"Ah-huh."

"Which one?" she pressed.

"This one," he said, turning the bracelet again to locate the silver pillow with the two golden rings sitting a top it.

Bella smiled. "That was the one you gave me the day Dan and Cassie got married," she remembered fondly.

"Yes, it is," Edward said, lost in thought. "It was also the last charm I gave you. A promise of my intentions."

"I remember."

"Do you remember the first?"

"Yes," she said, turning the bracelet to show him. It was a two-toned charm; a seashell with a gold starfish on it.

"Can you remember what it was meant to represent?"

"My promise to move to California."

"That's right," he said, smiling softly. "And this one?" he asked, touching the Christmas Tree with the gold star on top.

"You gave me three that week."

"I couldn't make up my mind," he admitted sheepishly.

"The Tree, the Golden Angel and the Gold Heart with the diamond."

"From our first Christmas together. The time when I knew I'd fallen in love with you."

"I know."

The morning Bella had left California after Cassie's twenty-first party, Edward had driven her to the airport, full of remorse that he hadn't stopped off in L.A. the day before when he'd had the chance and bought Bella an ostentatious piece of jewelry to mark her has his before she flew home, alone, to New Hampshire. It had been after their sad farewell at the airport that Edward had thought about the idea of a Pandora bracelet. Instead of driving back to Long Beach, he'd gone into L.A. and had found a jeweler who'd stocked the brand. He'd immediately chosen a two-toned platinum and gold bracelet for the base, and several charms that had caught his eye. He'd driven home and placed the first charm, the seashell, on it before organizing Fed-Ex to deliver the package to Bella's work place the next day. From that moment, once or twice a week, another small package would arrive at Bella's work place. In it, would be a charm, sometimes even two or three, each one a symbol of their journey to this place in time. It had been the most public way Edward could think of to demonstrate his commitment to her without actually being there in person, or without giving her a ring.

Bella laughed quietly as they both looked over what had become a very unique declaration of their love. "I remember when you sent me the three letters," she said, fingering them each in turn. "I thought it was a bit blatant of you to send me three charms that spelled, BED." She chuckled once more, and Edward joined her.

"I can't believe you thought I would do that," he said, remembering when Bella had relayed the story that she'd been embarrassed as all hell at work to think that her boyfriend had sent her a not-so-cryptic sign of their more intimate times, only for a coworker to point out that the charms carried the initials of Bella, Edward and Dan.

"I was just a bit flustered, that's all," Bella said in her own defense. "You have no idea how popular you became," she laughed. "Every time a delivery came, the office staff would wait until lunch time when the staffroom was almost full to give it to me, and because I never knew when you were sending one, every day, somebody would ask…_any special delivery today yet, Bella?"_

"I thought I was rather clever."

"You were very clever," she said, reaching up to kiss him. "And extraordinarily charming."

Edward wrapped his arms around his wife. "I earned a few bonus points, then, did I?"

"You know you did."

"I admit, my first trip over there afterwards was…pleasurable," he said, before kissing her.

"Pleasurable?" she said, between kisses. "Do you have any idea how much I spent on lingerie before you arrived? I could have bought a year's worth of my regular bras for what I spent on that little ensemble."

"It worked to your advantage, did it not?"

Bella giggled as Edward nibbled at her neck. "Yes, it did."

"Are you sure you want to go out?" he asked her momentarily. "We could just stay in and order more room service."

Laughing aloud, Bella pushed back against her husband's upper arms. "An hour's walk. That's all it will be, and then you can come back here and ravish me all over again if you like," she told him. "You've got to do your exercise, doctor's orders," she added, giving him a stern look. "And I promised him you would, so that's the end of it."

"A little dinner at an outdoor café, maybe?" Edward suggested. "It would help me build my stamina."

"You're still incorrigible."

"Don't you mean insatiable?"

"Both," she said, swatting him on the shoulder.

oooOOOooo

Nearly two months into their trip, Edward and Bella were at Cannes, enjoying drinks at a local bar over lunch and planning their drive to Monaco and beyond. They had been told that their first stop in Italy should be Genova, and they were trying to plan how long it might take them to reach it. So far, their casual approach to their holiday had seen them visit some fascinating places, staying mostly at small "Chambre d'hôte" or "Gîtes", the French version of Bed and Breakfast style accommodation in either a person's home or a small cottage on private property. Bella had had ample opportunity to use her now-much-more-than-rudimentary French, and had even managed to make herself understood using Spanish when they spent a week traveling the Spanish countryside. There was no way that either of them intended to cut short their time in Italy, and both were beginning to wonder if their trip to London might end up being nothing more than a brief stopover on their way home. Still, that would mean that London and the rest of Great Britain could be their next major holiday – for both Edward and Bella had been well and truly bitten by the traveler's bug. It would not be a case of IF they traveled again, but rather, how soon it would happen.

Edward also remained healthy and strong during their travels, despite some minor hiccups here and there having his array of anti-rejection medications dispensed. The only difficulty he really experienced was fatigue if they pushed it a little too much on their travels. Occasionally, his scar seemed extra sensitive. Twice daily, Bella diligently rubbed special ointment into the long crescent-shaped scar. While the ointment was designed to help minimize the visual affects of the scaring over time, it seemed little more could be done to lessen its presence in the short-term. Still, scar or no scar, it made no difference to Bella. As far as she was concerned, the evidence of his surgery was a very small price to pay for the wonderful life they now lived.

As Bella and Edward enjoyed the last few weeks of their delayed honeymoon, they already began planning future adventures. The list of places to see appeared endless, and fully appreciating how lucky they were to have the opportunity to travel, they were determined not to waste it.

There were times, in the years to come, when Bella would look back on her life, pre-Edward, and wonder how she could ever have thought she'd been happy. She had been, of course, but it was all relative, and with Edward's love had come new freedoms and new opportunities. Certain things that had been important to her before, like her independence and self-sacrifice, now, no longer were. Her life blossomed in such a dramatic way that she could hardly reconcile the Bella before Edward with the Bella she became. She'd been strong before, but now, she was resilient. She'd been self-assured before, but now, she was self-aware. Before, she'd been burdened by the past, but now, she was free to embrace the future.

Edward, and his love for her, had allowed Bella to finally become the woman she'd always wanted to be - a mother, a wife, a lover, and a truly happy soul. Love and acceptance had taught her that the past only helped to shape you. Who you are and who you become is a matter of choice.

Life, Bella now understood, is too short for regrets. Life's blessings, and surprises, are just too precious.

* * *

AN: There will be a separate AN released in the next day or so that will contain a special message from me as well as details regarding the posting of the Epilogue to TTTB. As per my review replies (and I did try to reply to everyone who left reviews or messages after ch 51, but some of you have your PMs disabled), I intend to release the epilogue this week.

Many, many thanks for everyone who has read this story through to this point. It's been a pleasure writing for you.

Until next time

Leisa.


	53. Chapter 53

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Hello everyone.

I wish to take this opportunity to leave a brief message before posting the epilogue of The Ties That Bind (more about that in a moment).

I'm trembling a little as I type this.

The Ties That Bind is a story that began two years ago while I was hanging washing on the clothes line. Since that time, it has become all encompassing. It has been a friend, an enemy, and a constant companion. Its characters have become as real to me as my real life friends, and their journey has been emotionally powerful – happy, sad, joyous and, for me, cathartic.

Since I wrote the final words to this fic a few weeks ago, the characters, their storyline and their constant chattering in my head, have finally become silent. My mind is now free of this Edward, Bella, Dan and Cassie. It's a loss I feel, and it's real.

So many people have helped and supported me along the way. I have tried to thank and acknowledge each and every one of you as I have posted each chapter, for I have always been very worried that when I got to this point, I would forget someone – and that would be tragic – for just as my characters have become real to me, so have many of my supporters and readers. Many people whom I am likely never to meet, have befriended me, encouraged me, pushed me, questioned me, argued with me and loved me, and I cannot put into words what they have become to me. I can't thank you all enough for what you have given to me.

So to everyone, I thank you, for your generosity of spirit and your willingness to help a first-time writer on her journey – be they words of encouragement, assistance with my research, the answering of my pesky tweets while trying to change my "Aussieisms" for "Americianisms", or for propping me up when I have, several times during this process, thought of walking away.

At the risk of offending some, I need to single out a few people.

To Sandyk199, without whom, I would never have hit the "submit" button on my very first chapter, and who has been with me as a trusted friend, every step of the way.

To Lalina, who backed me from day one, sent multiple readers my way, and pushed and challenged me to write such beautiful words, producing something of a quality I never considered would actually ever be possible.

To Grendel, a precious gift, sent to me by Lalina, who took this hapless, hopeless Aussie and turned her into a fledgling writer; who worked with me, taught me, laughed with me, and roused on me when she knew, more than I did, that I could do so much better.

These three women are treasures, and have become important friends and confidants.

To TheRunaway, my twi validation beta, who has always been willing to help me "outside of the box".

To Sunfeathers, whose hours and hours of research in the very early stages of this fic, made the world of difference to the validity of the story.

To Ady, whose beautiful spirit has surfaced in this fic on several occasions, and for whom no task was ever too great; even taking surreptitious photographs inside The Plaza Hotel in NYC so that I could get the most minor of details correct for chapter 9, and then returning to have her photograph taken in front of the same hotel to celebrate my 500th review milestone.

To Cristina – who travelled several hours to meet me in Florence last year; it was a very special 24 hours.

To the ladies of my thread on Twi and others, namely: HOFY, UoEM, MoTU, Mobward, C&D and Body threads who have befriended me and supported me while I was on this crazy journey. I am thrilled to have met all of you.

And to my fellow Aussies – LBM, STM, Robrator, Hannah and AllyinPerth, who worked their Aussie Arses off to pimp me and encourage fellow Aussies to read my little known fic.

And so, we come to the end of the journey.

Now, onto the Epilogue.

Time and time again, I have been asked, "Will this be a HEA fic?"

I have never answered that question directly, always avoiding a specific answer, despite the fact that the bare bones of the epilogue have been written for nearly eighteen months.

The answer to that question is… it is... to me.

The clues to the ultimate ending of this tale have been there for all to see in the songs I have recommended on my thread. It shouldn't come as a surprise, but I suspect it will. There are only five people, aside from myself, who have been aware of the content of the epilogue. Three of them have now read it and all are telling me to take cover or change my name (and maybe both).

I am very aware that The Epilogue won't be everyone's cup of tea (or half-strength, skim milk, no foam cappuccino or whatever the hell it is that you US folk order! LOL)

As a result, I am posting the epilogue as a separate one-shot. You will need to have me on author alert to receive notification of its posting.

It is my sincerest hope that just as my readers have taken the time to appreciate the maturity of these characters, that you also take the time to see and understand the message that is hidden between the lines of the epilogue.

The themes of this story are very personal to me, and I have equally as personal reasons for writing this epilogue as I have.

If you choose to read it, be warned, you will need tissues, (my betas also recommend chocolate cake and copious amounts of alcohol) but I sincerely hope that as you reflect on it, it leaves you with a feeling of fulfillment and untimately, peace and of a story that has come a full circle.

The Ties that Bind us to our loved ones are enduring and never-ending, no matter what life throws at us.

Two pieces of poetry have inspired my epilogue.

I leave you with these now:

_**SONNET 116 – by William Shakespeare**_

_Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come:  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved,  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved._

_ooOOOoo_

_**The Road Less Travelled – by Robert Frost.**_

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveller, long I stood  
And looked down one as far as I could  
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,  
And having perhaps the better claim,  
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;  
Though as for that the passing there  
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh, I kept the first for another day!  
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,  
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference

ooOOOoo

The first poem relates directly to the Epilogue.

The second has underpinned my writing of this entire story and culminates in the Epilogue – I have tried to take the road less travelled in the world I call "Ficland". I have tried to stay true to this personal goal to the very end.

If we are to part ways now because you chose not to read the epilogue, then that's fine. I thank you for reading, and for your willingness to let this story unfold. I appreciate the time you have invested in the story and the relationship you have developed with my characters. You have your HEA. Feel free to walk away knowing Bella and Edward have experienced the kind of love that Ties and Binds each to the other, for eternity.

If, however, you wish to read the epilogue, you will need to search for it under my author name. It is there for all to find, easily.

Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me and my story.

Until we next meet,

Leisa.


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